Group 19: The Lhasas

Kelly Shukman- shukmank1@mail.montclair.eduChristiana Shyllon- shyllonc1@mail.montclair.edu

THINK LIKE A GUY: How to get a guy by Thinking Like

OneBY: Guiliana DePandi

IntroductionMain Thesis

– “Women need a guide to point out exactly what they are doing wrong and exactly what men are doing right”

– Women make mistakes in relationships because they do not think the same way as men do

– “The way to land a guy is to think, act, and react like a guy”

SummaryGiuliana DePandi created 66 tips to assist women with their relationships. These tips were created to help women keep their men interested and eventually get the proposal. Tips include:

• Don’t nag him to validate your relationship• Don’t buy him clothes you want him to like• No tattoos of affection• Stop comparing him to your ex• If you can’t sing don’t• Curb the girl talk• Forget stuff• Avoid a purely textual relationship• Don’t let yourself go• Say what you really mean• Hide your astrology books

Introduction: Background

Although the majority of men and women aged 35-44 have entered their first marriages by age 35, lower percentages of men have done so than women. Seventeen percent of women and 25% of men have not married by age 35.

POSSIBLE TRENDS ASSOCIATED WITH WAITING TO MARRY:Financial Barriers

High Expectations Associated With Marriage

Rise in Cohabitation

Couples Dating Long-term

Focus on Education and Careers

Introduction: Topic ContextWHY RELATIONSHIPS FAIL

* Incompatibility* Immaturity

* Family Background* Relationship Established for the

Wrong Reasons* Employment and Money Issues

* Lack Of Communication* Behavioral Defects Such As:

Promiscuity, Drug and Alcohol Abuse, Gambling

These relationship deal-breakers are not discussed in this self-help book

http://www.true-love-and-marriage-relationship-advice.com/why-relationships-fail.html

DATA: Our bookGiuliana DePandi did not collect any data for this

book. She did not even utilize non-representative population samples. The data, or tips, are not based in any research.

In her book “How to Get a Guy by Thinking Like One” Giuliana DePandi used two distinctly different types of so-called data

~ Both of which are not reliable ~

1. The explanation of the tips in this book are based on the authors personal insights, beliefs, and experiences. She calls this data her own tried and tested approach

2. The second data type used was the inclusion of the personal stories/insights of 5 men. These guys ranged from 24-31 years old and were from different major cities across the United States. We do not know if these were real people.

What are the marital experiences of women and men 25-44 years of age in the United States

DATA: Real Data From The Census

Over 70% of women and men 25-44 years of age have been married: 79% of women

71% of menThis shows that there isn’t really a problem for women to find men and

eventually get married

DATA: Real Data

Marriage probabilityProbability of first marriage

among men and women 15-44 years of age before reaching specified age,

2002:

 By age

20 By age

25By age

30 By age

35

Women 17% 51% 73% 82%Men 7% 36% 61% 75%

According to the chart on the left from the US Census Bureau, the largest population of women are married. However, the number of unmarried females in our population looks like it will soon surpass the number of married women.Additionally, the unmarried percentage appears to most accurately correspond to the total female population in the respect to the incline rate.

http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/abc_list_m.htm#evermarried

DATA: Quality of Real Data• This data came from the US Census • It is a reputable source with high quality

data because it is collected by the Unites States Government

• The United States Census is mandated by the Constitution and it counts every resident in the United States.

• Because it counts every single citizen across our nation this data is based on a national sample

Results-Evaluate The Book• According to the article Do Self-help books help “Most

readers will not follow the book page by page, but will study parts of the book and select parts and options that they would never consider without the book” (Bergsma, 2008)

• Some of the tips can help women because some of them are things that girls have been told about men since adolescence and are somewhat sensible. These tips are common sense

• Some of the tips are far-fetched and can have negative outcomes

• Some of the tips can be helpful for certain women but not for everyone

Furthermore, it is important to note that this book which is seeped in the notion of how a guy thinks and perceives situations was actually

written by a women. How does she really know what is going through the heads of men and if they really all think the same things. The advice in this book can be given to a female by the men in her

life including fathers, uncles, brothers, and friends.

Results: Evaluate The Author Giuliana DePandi is not properly trained to write a self-

help book. She is not an expert on this topic. She is a television host on E! network shows that deal with

celebrity gossip, fashion, and is a correspondent on award show red carpets.

She does has a Masters Degree in Journalism which means that she is trained in the field of media.

However, she is not trained in the fields of sociology, psychology, counseling, or family studies. Her degree does not qualify her to give advice to others. She does not have any background knowledge other them personal

experience. On the back cover she writes that she has made a study

of men, however any female that has dated many different men can claim the same thing.

Discussion- Summarize Project Findings

This book gives 66 tips to women to keep a man interested and to eventually get the proposal that his past girlfriends couldn’t get. According to DePandi the way to do this is to think, act, and react like a guy.

However, after looking at documented statistics we see that this really isn't a problem. We found that a significant portion of the population do eventually get married and therefore do not need a book like this.

Discussion- Compare The Data

• There is NO real data used in Giuliana DePandi’d book. It is nonexistent. The in text contributions of several men does not mean that all men think that way on a particular idea. This makes the tips unreliable and not always appropriate.

• According to Data from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth the probability that women will marry by age 40 is 86%; for men, it is 81%.

THE DATA IN THIS SELF-HELP BOOK IS NOT REPRESENTATIVE OF THE LARGER TRENDS IN OUR SOCIETY

Discussion- Better Book• Because this book deals with the male perspective on relationships it would

make more sense if it was written by a man.

• This is a topic that affects people at various stages in life. What might be a turn off a 22 year old guy might have the opposite affect on a 41 year old man.

• Some of the tips presented such as don’t over-accessorize, hide your astrology books, and love good music are not things that are relationship breakers.

• This book left out many important factors when discussing relationships. • It didn’t include any sexual orientation other then heterosexual • It is not accurate to say that all men perceive the given situations this way• It is also wrong to say that women make all the mistakes in a given relationship

A BETTER BOOK ~ One that has positive notions about what makes

relationships work such as communication~ One that address what others in successful relationships

are doing

Discussion/Conclusion• Biggest Problems

– Makes assumptions about people and relationships that the author knows nothing about

– Is very derogatory to women– Some of the tips could have adverse affects– Is very generalized and not helpful to everyone

• Overall Contributions– Few and far between– Works for certain relationships between certain couples

IS THIS BOOK HELPFUL?Some of the tips provided in this book could be helpful for some people in their particular relationships but not

for everyone

References

• Bergsma, A. (2008) Do self-help books help?. Journal of Happiness Studies, 9, 341-360

• http://www.true-love-and-marriage-relationship-advice.com/why-relationships-fail.html

• http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/abc_list_m.htm#evermarried

Question 1

• Which of the following sexual situations and orientations does this book cater to?

– A. Men who cant keep a girl interested

– B. Women who cant keep other women interested

– C. A man looking to please his male order bride

– D. Single women looking a man

Question 2

• Where did Giuliana DePandi get her research data from

– 1. From other celebrities

– 2. From her father and brother

– 3. A national online survey for E! Network

– 4. Nowhere, she didn’t have real data

Question 3

• Giuliana DePandi has a degree in which of the following academic fields

– 1. Liberal Arts

– 2. Family Studies

– 3. Media

– 4. Sociology