Greatvine.com Guide Child Behaviour

8/3/2019 Greatvine.com Guide Child Behaviour

1/12

A GREATVINE PARENTING GUIDE

Greatvine Advice for life

Child Behaviour


2/12


3/12

Becoming a parent is one o the most

ullling and important roles in lie.

But that doesnt mean its easy.

We like to think that parenting comes naturally to

us, but the truth is that children dont arrive with

a manual and we sometimes need a bit o help

knowing how to bring out the best in them. At timeswe might need someone to talk to, to make sure

were doing the right thing, to discuss our worries or

just to get new ideas.

Every parent aces specic and unique challenges,

whether their childs usually well behaved but throws

the odd tantrum, or seems to be out to challenge

them at every turn.

Thats why this Greatvine booklet is jam-packed with

invaluable advice and expert tips to help you create

a happy amily lie, such as how to set rules and

boundaries; dealing with meltdowns in public places;communicating well with your child and raising their

sel-esteem.

The specialists eatured have many years o

experience helping parents with the particular

challenges o dealing with dicult behaviour.

Ranging rom experienced and respected child

psychologists to top behaviour coaches, their gentle

and supportive methods can really make a dierenceto your amily.

best in my child? There must besomeone who

can help...

How do I bring out the

4

6

8

10

In this editionMeet the child behaviour experts

Expert Q&A with Dr Rudkin

Top tips for better behaviour

Next steps for more advice


4/12

Elaine Halligan

A parenting

acilitator with TheParent Practice,

Elaines passionate

about helping amilies bring

out the best in their children

to help them have healthy sel-

esteem and value themselves or

who they are. She knows that

encouraging good behaviour

and positive discipline are

essential or a happy homeand calm amily. Her practical

skills and strategies encourage

co-operation and sel-reliance,

and ensure parents and children

can communicate well. Elaine

has a particular interest in special

educational needs, as she has

a son with autism and severe

dyslexia. Her sons behaviour

was so poor that he was asked

to leave his third school. Since

then, Elaines methods have hada transormational eect on his

learning and sel-esteem. Talk

with Elaine on 0905 675 4616

- 1.20/min*.greatvine.com/

elaine-halligan

Dr Angharad

Rudkin

Angharad is a

chartered clinicalchild psychologist

with years o experience helping

children and their parents.

Particular areas o expertise include

children suering rom stress;

developmental disorders like

autism or ADHD; mental health

issues like depression, anxiety, or

ater a bereavement or trauma.

Angharad also helps amilies

who are eeling stuck and need

support, whether because o a loss,separation or divorce, or another

big lie change. She uses Cognitive

Behavioural Therapy (CBT), and

has also been trained in other

therapies such as systemic therapy

and solution-ocused therapy. Shes

contributed to BBC Radio and TV,

and in newspapers & magazines.

Talk with Dr Angharad Rudkin

on 0906 400 6217 - 1.50/min*.greatvine.com/angharad-rudkin

Jeni Hooper

Child psychologist

and parent coach

Jeni helps parents

make sense o

the dierent ages and stages

o childhood. She loves to

Meet the

child behaviourexperts


Talk with a top child

behaviour specialist,

whenever you need


5/12

explore how a childs individual

strengths and abilities can be

supported and nurtured to help

them achieve their true potential.

Her areas o ocus or parents

include: building a strong, loving

relationship with a child; howto overcome challenges and

solve problems with condence;

guiding a childs learning and

behaviour rom tot to teens; and

creating a strong loving amily.

She can recommend strategies

and techniques that give parents

the tools to create lasting change.

Jeni believes that becoming a

condent parent who can copewith whatever comes their way

isnt about being perect. But

condence comes rom believing

in your ability to love your

amily - even when someone

does something that makes that

dicult. Talk with Jeni on

0906 207 2679 - 1.00 per/min*.

greatvine.com/jeni-hooper

Dr Philippa

Rundle

As a paediatrician

who specialises in

child behaviour

and development, Philippas role

is to support parents to manage

their children so that they can

relax and enjoy amily lie. Many

parents will have concerns about

the behaviour o their babies and

children as they are growing up

and developing, and Philippa

can help. Other areas o ocus

include bed-wetting, bullying,

aggression, poor concentration

and separation issues. Philippa

is also a child bereavement

counsellor or Cruse. She

regularly contributes to TV,

radio, newspapers & magazines.

Talk with Philippa on 0906 400

6226 - 1.50 per/min*.

greatvine.com/philippa-rundle

Linda BlairAuthor o The

Happy Child and

Straight Talking, or

over 30 years Linda

has worked with amilies acing

diculties. A chartered clinical

psychologist and researcher, her

aim is to help parents overcome

any behavioural and emotional

problems their child mightexperience, including eating

disorders, sleep disturbance,

bedwetting and potty training,

ears and phobias, bullying and

depression. Lindas study o child

development means she can

also explain whats happening

developmentally in other words,

how things look and eel rom a

childs point o view. That way,parents can learn how to solve

problems and give their child the

best chance to ull their potential.

Because shes learned how to

help people o all ages, she can

also help parents work through

the anxieties and eelings o

inadequacy they might eel when

their childs suering.Arrange to

talk with Linda at:

greatvine.com/linda-blair

Dr Sharon Lewis

Sharon aims to

support parents

so they can

condently

deal with the emotional and

behavioural diculties theirchild might ace. As a chartered

clinical psychologist with

15 years experience helping

children and amilies, she enjoys

promoting positive attachments

between parents and children

and sees this as a key way

to promote childrens mental

health. Sharons an expert

in developmental disorders,clinical depression, autism and

ADHD. Other specialities include

childrens sleeping diculties;

emotional and behavioural

diculties; eective discipline

strategies; building positive

attachments in the amily and

communicating eectively with

children. Talk with Dr Sharon

Lewis on 0906 400 6239 - 1.50

per/min*.greatvine.com/sharon-

lewis

* from a BT landline. Calls from other

networks and mobiles may vary. 18+.

A GREATVINE PARENTING GUIDE CHILD BEHAVIOUR 5

Choose from hundreds of great

experts in over 80 topics, only at

Greatvine.www.greatvine.com


6/12

Expert Q & Awith Dr Rudkin

Hundreds o parents have

turned to Dr Angharad Rudkin

or advice on how to tackle

their childrens behavioural

problems. Here she answers yourmost frequently asked questions.

My child just seems badly behaved

most o the time. How can I help them

behave better?

When children know whats expected o them

and what the consequences o dierent behaviours

are, theyre more likely to behave in the way wed

like.

So be consistent with your child let them

know what the boundaries are and keep these at thesame place. I one night you order your child to bed

and the next let them stay up until 2am, theyll be

conused about what you want.

Be clear about what you want your child to

do dont give them generalised messages like Be a

good boy. Instead, spell it out. So, or example, Play

nicely or Dont hit others.

Another tip is to be condent when youre

setting boundaries say what you mean and mean

what you say. Children are very good at picking up

on eelings, and i youre not condent about asking

them to do something then they wont be condent

about doing it.

When my son decides to play up

somewhere public like the supermarket,

it can be really embarrassing. How can I

discipline him when were out and about?

It can oten eel like children deliberately havetantrums in the most public places, and this may

well be true because o all the things that are going

on around them.

Also, remember that parents tend to eel tenser

about their childs behaviour when others are

watching.

Try negotiating with your child, oering them

choices and consequences. One way o phrasing this

might be I you calm down we can stay in this shop,



7/12

but i you carry on screaming well have to leave

immediately. Its your choice.

The key is to remain calm and try not to let

yoursel worry about what others are thinking.

Remember that most onlookers will have been, or

will be, in a similar situation at some point in their

lives.I your childs having a ull-on tantrum then try

and get them and yoursel out o that situation and

keep them sae until they calm down.

I cant get my our-year-old daughter to

do anything I ask unless I get cross. Whats

the answer?

Your childs pushing the boundaries to see

at what point youll set clear expectations. I you

only tend to do this when youre eeling cross andrustrated, its more likely that theyll push you to

this point next time too.

Try setting boundaries clearly and condently

when youre not cross, then i your child starts

pushing remain as calm as possible by taking deep

breaths and imagining a relaxing place. Theyll keep

trying to press your angry buttons until they learn

that theres no point.

So, i you can remain calm throughout,

youll be teaching them a valuable lesson (that you

cant get what you want by making people cross)

and or yoursel (that you can be a more eective

parent by staying calm).

My six-year-old is rightened o all sorts

o things. What can I do to help?

As they grow up and their awareness o the

world increases, children develop ears o dierent

things. I your childs naturally quite earul theyll

need an extra bit o reassurance and support.

We all tend to avoid situations or things that

make us eel rightened, but the more we avoid it

the greater that ear becomes. So encourage your

child to manage their anxiety rather than run away

rom it.

You can do this by talking to them in a rational

way about their ears. So, or example, say Yes,

spiders might not be very nice to look at but they

wont cause you any harm and theyre more scared

o you than you are o them.

Or you could help your child write a project or

create a scrapbook about the thing that rightens

them the more you know about something, the

less scary it usually is.


Talk with Dr Rudkin

www.greatvine.com/angharad-rudkin

0906 400 62171.50/min from a BT landline. Calls from other networks and mobilesmay vary. 18+.


8/12

1Be consistent -

your child depends

on you to provide

clear boundaries and

predictability, day in

day out. - Angharad Rudkin

2Mean what you say

and say what you mean

- otherwise how can

you expect your child

to believe what youre

saying? -Angharad Rudkin

3Understand that

children arent littleadults - they think and

see things dierently to

us. -Angharad Rudkin

4Model the kinds o

behaviour you want

to see in your children.

This is a lot more

eective than telling

them what they should be doing.

-Angharad Rudkin

5Pick your battlesand enjoy your

children. Children

have a great sense o

un, so join in with this

and dont worry about the small

things. -Angharad Rudkin

Top tips forbetter

behaviour



9/12

6Praise their eforts

and attitude, looking

or the qualities they

show rather than

purely ocusing on the

end result and achievement.

For example, You waited until I

nished talking beore you said

what you wanted to say. That

was patient. It takes a lot o

sel-control to wait your turn.

-Elaine Halligan

7

Establish rules

by working out your

values in all areas o

amily lie and stick to

them involve your

child in setting the rules.

-Elaine Halligan

8

Make sure there

are meaningul

rewards or good

behaviour. The best

rewards neednt cost

anything. -Elaine Halligan

9Encourage sel-

reliance skills rom

an early age. The more

your child can do things

or themselves and be in

charge o their own emotions, the

less theyll blame others or how

theyre eeling. -Elaine Halligan

10Really listen

to your child

by encouraging

them to talk

about their

eelings and emotions. The key

is to listen without judgement.

-Elaine Halligan

11Walk a while

in your childs

shoes: get

to know their

strengths,

temperament and moods. This

will give you ways to infuence

them and reduce confict and

conrontation. When theyre

very little you can distract them

with a avourite activity, and as

they grow up you can use your

knowledge to oer more carrots

than sticks. -Jeni Hooper

12Be a parent irst

and a riend

second. Parents

have to be leaders

and willing to be

unpopular in the short term over

important issues. Set boundaries

with our or ve positively phrased

rules such as Be kind rather than

Dont hit. -Jeni Hooper

13Aim to praise

your child ve

times more oten

than you give

directions. Oer

specic praise that shows youve

noticed and valued what your

childs done. Honest but positive

eedback wont create unrealistic

sel-belie, but telling your child

they are brilliant at everything

might. -Jeni Hooper

14

Aim to give

your child

a magical

childhood

where lie

is exciting and interesting.

Discover the small things that

excite your child and rouse their

curiosity. Save the big things or

an occasional treat to keep them

special. -Jeni Hooper


Find more great child

behaviour tipswww.greatvine.com/childbehaviour


10/12

more advice

Visit us online Email uswww.greatvine.com [email protected]

When youre aced with the important

role o bringing up a happy and

condent child, its good to know

where you can get good advice.

Greatvine lets you talk on the phone with the

countrys best experts, whenever you need. Choose

rom leading specialists in over 80 topics covering

all aspects o pregnancy, childbirth and parenting

rom breasteeding and baby sleep to postnatal

depression and child nutrition.

The team includes child psychologists, midwives,

breasteeding specialists, paediatricians, practice

nurses, parenting coaches, child nutritionists,

counsellors and more.

With an average o ve qualications each the

experts oer advice you can trust. Friendly and

understanding, theyre here to help. Many also

contribute to TV, radio and to leading magazines &newspapers.

Simply browse the experts proles, choose a

specialist and talk whenever you need.

Next steps for


11/12


12/12

Greatvine

Greatvine.com Guide Child Behaviour

Documents

Transcript of Greatvine.com Guide Child Behaviour