The Angle

Volume 2009 | Issue 1 Article 14

2008

Goodbye To FaithJeffrey SlaterSt. John Fisher College

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Recommended CitationSlater, Jeffrey (2008) "Goodbye To Faith," The Angle: Vol. 2009: Iss. 1, Article 14.Available at: http://fisherpub.sjfc.edu/angle/vol2009/iss1/14

Goodbye To Faith

AbstractIn lieu of an abstract, below is the essay's first paragraph.

"Gary hated classical music. He often said so, especially while he was in elevators or fancy restaurants. Not thathe was in either of those places often, because he hardly ever left the house and when he did, it was rare forhim to spend money (at least his own). Well, Gary was hardly a 'classical' male."

Cover Page FootnoteAppeared in the issue: Volume 10, Issue 8, 2008.

This prose is available in The Angle: http://fisherpub.sjfc.edu/angle/vol2009/iss1/14

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Gary hated classical music. He often said so, especially while he was in elevators or fancyrestaurants. Not that he was in either of those places often, because he hardly ever left the house andwhen he did, it was rare for him to spend money (at least his own). Well, Cary was hardly a "classical"male.

He left abruptly, which wasn't like him. Gary was alary fib of warm beer and tepid bacon fat.

His shirts had mildew odor. For him to go anywhere more then six or seven traffic lights down the road

was unusual. Heck, this is the guy who crashed with his parents until he was almost 30 because,

according to him, he "already had it so good."Before Gary even got back to San Jose, he was in over his head. He was supposed to wait with

the money at the pay phone in front of Blowfish Sushi at Stevens Creek and Winchester. Someone

would find him there. He sat on a hot metal bench.

Cary hated fish.But he needed the money.He sat and thought about his wife, who loved classical music, and how his kids would never see

him again. He wished that he could have been smarter, so he could have made a better plan, gotten outoftrouble. He thought about pizza...and how much he wished these people hadn't told him to wait infront ofa sushi restaurant in the southem California sun.

The breeze salted his nostrils. "Why would anyone want to eat fish and rice when they couldhave pizza'!" he thought to himself.

Dank, bitter fish odor.Not surprisingly, no one was paying aftention to Gary. He was fully forgettable in every way.

Then his phone buzzed from his pocket, and it seemed to vibrate the whole bench. It wasn'twho he thought it would be.

Gary silenced the phone and just held it in his lap. He didn't move a muscle. He was waiting infront ofthat damned sushi restaurant with the money.

Five minutes went by. Ten. Fifteen.The phone rang again. "You've got to be kidding me," Gary thought as he looked at the number.

He flipped the phone open. The caller was frantic."Gary? Are you there? Your wife is at my house! You told me you left her! How did she find

me? What the hell is going on?""Calm down, Alex, calm down. I did leave her. I've got to meet some people first, and I'll be

there.""Gary is this what I think it is? Those people? Weren't you supposed to have paid them? Are

they mad you didn't pay them?""Don't worry about it. I've got it under control."The voice on the other end rushed to say something but Gary clammed the phone shut.. .the

modem kind of "click." As he put the phone in his pocket, his hand brushed the buft of a revolver. Asleek, mean-looking thing with a cherry red wooden handle.

Gary had never been cool or intimidating, but now it was different. Now he was in over hishead and he knew it. This was the first time he had ever canied a gun in public.

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Slater: Goobye To Faith

Published by Fisher Digital Publications, 2008

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The Angle, Vol. 2009, Iss. 1 [2008], Art. 14

http://fisherpub.sjfc.edu/angle/vol2009/iss1/14

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She's rigid and withered and comfortable in her new life"I'm happy now" she says, but there's tar on her tongueShe goes out with her friends and drinks hers morals awayShe goes out with her friends and she drinks her thoughts of me awayI'm not the one holding her through the phone anymoreAnd I can't let go but I can't hold on anymoreShe's lost my trust and my love and some of my respectHow long can she drink me away before I stick up for myselflThe girl I loved is long-dead, nowWhat am I holding onto?And my hands are hopeful as I imagine hers holding mineBut her hand doesn't fit anymore and I don't even recognize herShe gets drunk on the weekends and high at nightShe smokes cigarettes between the highs and lowsAnd she told me she betrayed me but it doesn't really matterAnd she's a hollow human shell in the image of a girl that I lovedAnd she's a hollow human shell pretending to be the girl that I lovedBut she's not fooling anyone anymore

3

Slater: Goobye To Faith

Published by Fisher Digital Publications, 2008