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Transcript of GOLF, NAKED: THE BARE ESSENTIALS REVEALED excerpt
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Greg Rowley, PGAIllustrations by Jeremy Deming
Golf, Nakedtells it like it really is. is is the stuff that every golfer needs to know.
Rich Beem, 2002 PGA Champion
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Teres so much more to gol than your score. Gol, Nakedteaches you how to ace the rest
o the game. Its at out brilliant.
Andrew Magee, PGA our goler, host o the Gol Channels Big Break
Gol, Nakedis a creative, entertaining, inormative and very dierent gol book.
om Perry, PGA our headquarters
Tis book does everyone in our industry a huge avor. Every goler, regardless o their ability
or level o experience, should read this book.
Brent Buckman, club manager, Spanish Oaks, Austin, X
Gol, Naked is an excellent reerence or the newer goler and should help educate uture
golers or years to come.Rex Schultz, PGA head proessional, Esmerelda Gol Course, Spokane, WA
Tis book says the things that all Pros wish our members knew but dont like telling them
ourselves. Gol, Nakeddoes the dirty work or me in a way thats un or the reader.
Chad Stoddard, PGA head proessional, Broken op Club, Bend, OR
Greg is a decent son. His book turned out better than I expected.
Sandra Rowley, Gregs mom, lousy goler and marginal cook
Gol, Naked is a perect tool or new goler orientation. Teres simply nothing like it out
thereand its laugh-out-loud unny.
Rainer Gehres, ormer club manager, Riviera, Los Angeles, CA, and
Waverly, Portland, OR
Reading Gol, Nakeddenitely helped me eel more comortable at the local gol club that I
recently joined. At rst I elt like a bull in a china shop; now I eel like I really belong.
Adam Deadmarsh, NHL star, Stanley Cup winner, and Olympic Silver Medalist
In gol, I nd much o the same satisaction that I did as a proessional skier. Gol, Naked
puts into words something Id only previously elt. Gol, to me, is a eeling, not the nal
score.
Josh Loubek, proessional skier, Winter X Games head judge
What a great book!
Len Zamora, PGA director o gol, Te Mirabel Club, Scottsdale, AZ
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GOLF, NAKEDhe Bare Essentials Revealed
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GOLF, NAKEDhe Bare Essentials Revealed
Greg Rowley, PGA
Pick It Up Publishing, LLC
Coeur dAlene, Idaho
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Published by Pick It Up Publishing, LLCP.O. Box 3667Coeur dAlene, ID 83816www.pickituppublishing.com
CEO: Denny RyersonPresident: Greg Rowley
Original illustrations: Jeremy Deming
Copyright 2009 by Pick It Up Publishing, LLC
All rights reserved. No part o this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in anyorm or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning or otherwise, except as permittedunder Sections 107 or 108 o the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without the prior written permission othe Publisher, except or the inclusion o brie quotations in a review. Requests to the publisher or permissionshould be addressed to permissions, Pick It Up Publishing, P.O. Box 3667, Coeur dAlene, ID 83816, or [email protected].
Many o the designations used by manuacturers and sellers to distinguish their products are claimed as trademarks.Where those designations appear in this book, and Pick It Up Publishing was aware o a trademark claim, thedesignations appear as requested by the owner o the trademark. All other product names and services identied
throughout the book are used in editorial ashion only and or the benet o such companies with no intention orinringement o the trademark. No such use, or the use o any trade name, is intended to convey endorsement orother afliation with this book.
Te inormation in this book is distributed on an As Is basis, without warranty. While every precaution has beentaken in the preparation o the book, neither the author nor Pick It Up Publishing shall have any liability to anyperson or entity with respect to any loss or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by theinstructions contained in this book.
Distributed by Greenlea Book Group LLC
For ordering inormation or special discounts or bulk purchases, pleasecontact Greenlea Book Group LLC at 4005-B Banister Lane, Tree Park Place, Austin,
X 78704, (512) 891-6100
Design and composition by Greenlea Book Group LLCCover design by Nathan Brown and Greenlea Book Group LLCInitial editing by David Kilmer
All photos throughout the book have either been personally taken by the author in his travels, or have beenprovided by and used with the permission o the respective courses.
Singing the Praises o Gol, rom Gol in the Kingdom by Michael Murphy. Copyright 1972 by MichaelMurphy. Used by permission o Viking Penguin, a division o Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
Publishers Cataloging-In-Publication Data(Prepared by Te Donohue Group, Inc.)Rowley, Greg.
Gol, naked : the bare essentials revealed / Greg Rowley. -- 1st ed.p. : ill. ; cm.
ISBN-13: 978-0-9815319-5-3
1. Gol--Miscellanea. 2. Golers. 3. Sportsmanship.I. itle.
GV967 .R69 2008796.352 2008907927
Printed in China on acid-ree paper
08 09 10 11 12 13 14 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
First Edition
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For Denny.Youve changed our lives.
Tank you or your courage and condence.
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ix
Preace xv
Introduction 1
SECTION 1:Of and Stumbling
Chapter 1: Sweat the Small Stuf 6
You Have to Start Somewhere 7
Culture Shock 11
Consider the Source 13
Chapter 2: Slicing Trough a Snowstorm 15
Te Game o Opposites 17
Pop Quiz, Hot Shot 18
Chapter 3: Gol 101 23
Big Rocks 23
Te Game 24Te Equipment 26
Te Gol Course 32
SECTION 2:Prepare Like a Pro
Chapter 4: Prepare Like Crazy 38
Speaking o Crazy 40
Chapter 5: I the WHO Fits 42
CONTENTS
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x GOLF,NAKED
Family . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42
Friends or a Regular Group . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43
Playing as a Single . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45Looking or a Game . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46
Client and Guest Hosting (Part I) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48
Chapter 6: Lost Under WHERE 52
Public Gol Courses. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52
Private Gol Courses . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53
Resort Gol Courses . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53
Money Matters . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55Dress Code . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55
Chapter 7: Breaking WHEN 62
iming. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62
Course Availability. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 64
Weather . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65
Chapter 8: Te Mile WHY Club 70
Practice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 70
ake Lessons . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71
Play . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72
Compete . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72
SECTION 3:Now Youre Getting Tere
Chapter 9: Connecting DotsPractice Range and
Parking Lots 76On Arrival . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76
Check-In . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79
Warm-Up . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82
Client and Guest Hosting (Part II) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 85
Check Your Gear and Go to the First ee . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86
Chapter 10: Te Usual Suspects 87
Te Gol Proessional. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87
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xi
Aiding and Abetting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 92
Caddies and Forecaddies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93
Chapter 11: Dirty Rotten Stinking Low-Lie Sandbaggers 100
Cheaters. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 102
Reverse Sandbaggers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103
Walk a Mile in Tese Shoes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103
Dude, Abide . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105
Gol Handicapping Made Clear(er) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 106
SECTION 4:On-Course Survival GuideChapter 12: Assume the Position 114
Strike a Pose . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 114
aking the ee . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 116
Client and Guest Hosting (Part III) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 125
Playing with Strangers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 126
Classic Gol Pranks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 127
Call to Action . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 129Chapter 13: Gas, Rent, and Beer Money 130
Know Your Limits . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 130
Gregs Gambling Rules . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 134
Gol Gambling Customs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 137
Te Pocket Pro: Gol Gambling Guide. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 139
Chapter 14: Lessons rom a Dam Builder 143
Respect Others and the Course . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 144
ake Care o the Gol Course . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 151
Finesse the Short Game. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 153
Etiquette Is Not a Sometimes Ting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 158
Chapter 15: Slow Play, Sunburn, and 7-10 Splits 160
Te 3 Degrees o Slow Play . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 161
1st-Degree Burn: How to Keep Up . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 163
2nd-Degree Burn: How to Catch Up. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 168
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xii GOLF,NAKED
3rd-Degree Burn: ry Bowling . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 169
Chapter 16: Finish the Whole 174
Keep It Classy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 174
Clean Up Ater Yoursel. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 174
Tank the Sta . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 175
Te Art o ipping . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 175
Client and Guest Hosting (Part IV) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 178
ake a Final Inventory . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 180
SECTION 5: aking Your Game to the Next LevelChapter 17: ales rom an Irish Rest Stop 184
Te 10 Commandments o Mens Gol rips . . . . . . . . . . . . . 185
Chapter 18: Gas Guzzlers, Grease Monkeys, and
Gol Swings 201
What Does a eacher Really Do? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 202
Were All Dierent . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 204
Whats Stopping You? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 204
Chapter 19: Whacking the Snake 210
Te Pre-Swing Basics. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 211
Ball Flight Laws . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 215
Chapter 20: Get Shorty 219
Short-Game Shot Essentials . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 219
Putting. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 221Chipping . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 222
Pitching . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 222
What to Do When?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 225
Be Athletic. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 225
Chapter 21: Horses or Courses 227
Embrace Your endenciesDont Fight Tem . . . . . . . . . . . 227
Te Best Tought Is No Tought . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 228Understand Uneven Lies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 228
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xiii
Eliminate Compounding Mistakes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 230
Assess the Value o Risk. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 230
Realistic Improvement Requires Patience . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 231
Chapter 22: Found in ranslation 235
Te Rules You Need to Know . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 236
Chapter 23: A Roadblock or the Fast Lane? 249
Getting a Loved One Excited (About Gol ) . . . . . . . . . . . . . 250
Ace the Smell est . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 253
What Makes Gol So Special? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 254
Glossary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 258
Acknowledgments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 272
About the Author 276
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xv
Preface
I
ve had the privilege o working as an assistant gol proessional, teaching
proessional, head proessional, and director o gol at some o the coun-
trys most prestigious gol properties. Te Quarry at La Quinta is a xtureon the Gol Digest op 100 list, and in 2004 Te Club at Black Rock was
named Americas Best New Private Gol Course.
My experiences have consistently taught me one simple, unwavering les-
son about this maddening game: Preparation is no guarantee that the gol gods
wont punish you on any given dayor no apparent reason. However, its the
preparation and understanding o gol as a culture, the sum ar greater than
its parts, that compels us all to love it so much. Were all equals because at any
time, on any given course, this little mistress called gol may just knock us down,spank us, and leave us lying there with our pants around our ankles. Yet some-
how we always say thank you, and may I please have another?
Why is this so? Why is it that you can wander out to the local gol club on
a Saturday morning (or uesday aternoon, or that matter), spray it all over the
place or ve hours, lose three sleeves o balls, get a little sunburned, cough up
30 bucks in side action to your buddies, tweak your bum hip on that shank you
hit out o the rough on No. 13, and then revel deliciously over laughs and stories
with a ew ice-cold beverages in the clubhouse when its all over, knowing thatyou just had a truly great time? I know the answer, and I believe that ater read-
ing this book, you too will better understand this eisty temptress that we all
love to hate and hate to love.
Ive written this book or two reasons. First, I want to share my love o the
game and my experiences in working and playing with some o the most inter-
esting people in the world. Its my hope that I can help novices and experienced
golers alike to better understand the nuances that make gol not just a game
but a great game.
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xvi GOLF,NAKED
Second, Im revealing these secrets so that everyone, especially my knuckle-
headed buddies, will stop calling me incessantly with questions like these:
How do I talk about gol and not sound like a rookie?
What should I wear to the private club this Tursday to play gol with my
boss? I dont want to look and eel out o place.
How much cash should I bring?
How much should I tip the good-looking beer-cart girl?
Shenanigans! You said we were only playing or $2! How the heck do I
owe you $30? What s a press, anyway?
Whats the best old-ashioned gol prank I can pull on my jerk brother-in-
law this weekend?
How might I get my wie interested in the game?Whats an appropriate amount to pay my caddie? For that amount, what
should I expect to be done?
How much does a lesson cost? Is it worth it?
Is it a penalty i I move my ball when its sitting on a steaming pile o
animal dung?
EnjoyGol, Naked. I promise youll enjoy the game more thoroughly.
Tats me at the Bally Bandon Sheep Ranch. Im
much older (and stronger) than I look!
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Introduction 1
Introduction
T
heres no doubt Ive been blessed with a career that has presented many
unorgettable opportunities. I met my wie, supported my amily, and
traveled the worldall because o this game!Ive played on truly hallowed ground and remember many o the most
satisying shots o my lie like they were yesterday. Some were under extreme
pressure in ront o many, while others were witnessed by only a ew Jumping
Cholla cacti or Ponderosa pine trees.
Ive played (typically very poorly) on every imaginable degree o gol course
rom the shabby Indio Muni to the ultra-chic and impeccably maintained Quar-
ry at La Quinta. Ive played Riviera, Pinehurst, Big Horn, Ballybunion, Bally
Bandon, Bandon Dunes, Whiskey Run, and Royal County Down. Ive playedBlack Rock, Whisper Rock, Fire Rock, Red Rock, and Rimrock. Ive designed
a course at the Sheep Ranch one morning, and then played the Oregon Coast
shoreline as a bareooted single that evening. Ive played with a stick or a club
and a pinecone or a ball on a sandbar island in the middle o the raging Salmon
River. Ive played two hundred holes in twelve hours and raised $25,000 to give
to the Red Cross ollowing the 9/11 attacks. Ive even played on the surace o
the moon, or at least it elt like it, amid the coastal dunes at Cairn in Ireland.
Ive taught and played with men, women, juniors, seniors, celebrities, pro-essional athletes, PGA our players, and beginners, and Ive discovered the
universal theme thats apparent at every gol course in every part o the world:
Nobody wants to look stupid.
You need to be comortable on the gol course. Tats because this game can
strip you bare without warning or regretphysically, mentally, and emotionally.
Gol requires so much attention, and can be so utterly humiliating, that every-
thing else must support the ocused eort necessary to execute your swing. I
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2 GOLF,NAKED
you arent comortable in all o gol s language, behaviors, and preparations, then
your willingness to dive into its depths will certainly suer.
As one o 61 million golers worldwide, you probably share the same con-
cerns as the rest o us. Do you enjoy the game? Te camaraderie? Te challenge?
Have you ever elt nervous or a little unsure o what to say or dobeore, dur-
ing, or ater a round? Do you play better when youre by yoursel than you do
with your riends, amily, clients, or boss? Have you ever been distracted while
playing or a reason that had nothing to do with your next shot? Do you know
someone who youd like to help become more excited about the game? Most
golers all somewhere in the middle o the bell curveand i youre one o us,
then this book is or you.
Gol, Nakedwill give you condence. It oers the understanding that no onecares how well you play because everyone is worried about their own actions.
No one ever remembers your score (unless its really, really good). Tey willre-
member how you look and act. Tese tips and techniques will help you master
the rest o the gamethe real stu that truly demonstrates experience, comort,
condence, class, humility, and ultimately, golng grace.
Te goal here is simpleto help you unlock the secrets o all the little
things that go into the typical gol experience. When they become second
nature, youll enjoy your playing partners and the game more thoroughlynomatter where, when, or who youre playing.
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Introduction 3
Swing Thoughts
Te gol liestyle doesnt come with a blueprint. Te courses are vastly dierent,
as are the players and the reasons why they play. o help you achieve total gol
culture integration, Ive drawn you a road map. Sometimes the route is short,simple, and direct, and other times its much more circuitous, but the goal re-
mains the samea more enjoyable time at the course.
Gol, Nakedstarts with the decision to play gol. Sounds simple, right? From
there we move through the gol experience: Preparing to play, arrival at the course,
parking lot to the rst tee, playing the game, and wrapping up everything. Ten
well get into the nuts and bolts o the game, my teaching methodology, and a
practical understanding o the rules.
Here are a ew recurring themes that youll see throughout the book. Teyreintended to help make certain points clearer.
ROOKIE MISTAKES
Common errors Ive made, seen, and heard. I you seeyoursel in some o these examples, perhaps a change
in your customary behavior might be appropriate.
PEARLS FROM THE PRO
Wisdom I hope youll nd valuable and useul.
STORY TIME
Stories rom personal experience, or others Ive heard
that are worth sharing.
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4 GOLF,NAKED
HISTORY LESSON
Perspective on the game, the equipment, and the rules.
FACE PLANTS
Ive denitely allen on my ace more times than I careto remember. No matter how bad you might eel about
a particular perormance, someoneusually mehas
done something every bit as bad, or worse.
IF I RULED THE WORLD
I it were up to me to change some o the customs o theculture, this is what Id do. Dont mistake these or actual
rules; theyre just wishul thinking.
Now its up to you. Read, learn, live, love, dog-ear, highlight, laugh, and re-
cite. Use Gol, Nakedto learn the real rules and customs o the game, those that
your local gol pro wants you to know, and the ones that lead to comort and
condence at the course. Regardless o your experience and ability, youll not put
down this book unchanged.
See you on the other side . . .
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1
Off and Stumbling
Chapter 1Sweat the Small Stu
Chapter 2Slicing hrough a Snowstorm
Chapter 3
Gol 101
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CHAPTER 1
Sweat the Small Stuff
Gol is deceptively simple, and endlessly complicated; it satises
the soul and rustrates the intellect. A child can play it well anda grown man can never master it. It is almost a science, yet it is a
puzzle with no answer.
Arnold Palmer
Going to a gol course or the rst time as a beginner, or to a new course
or the rst time as an experienced player, can be utterly intimidating.
Ive learned this lesson in many ways over the course o my career.
None, however, was more poignant than my rst day o work at the Hayden
Lake Country Club in northern Idaho.
It was a Tursday aternoon in April 1997. A phone call to the PGA head-
quarters in Florida was all it took or me to of cially become an apprentice
proessional. No anare, no conetti and balloons, no cheers and hugs, just a
phone call. Big deal.
Shortly thereater, the annual Mens Opening Day ourney was starting. Te golers were scattering to their hole
assignments when word reached the gol
shop that one o the A players was a
no-show. So, yours truly was quick-
ly called into action, and beore I
knew it, I was being introduced by
the head proessional to the rest o
my team: Jim, sixtyish and a 10handicap; John, tyish
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Sweat the Small Stu 7
and a 14; and Willard, ninetyish and a mostly blind 27. I was told to ride with
Willard so I could help him spot his ball.
o make a long and painul story short, I was so nervous I shot a 103,
highlighted by a handul o shanks, tree ricochets, and even a wayward shot that
struck a passing motorist. All three o my mates beat me straight up. However,
as luck would have it, our team actually won the event. Willard played a career
round and carried the team to victory! Tere was some grousing by the other
participants that the team with the pro had wonthat it wasnt air. But, the
truth o my round was quickly exposed by my erstwhile teammates, and I was
ed to the wolves.
Fortunately, this strange culture o gol has become much less intimidating
since then. Not only have I personally learned the appropriate on- and o-course behaviors through instruction, modeling, trial and error, and thousands
o mistakes, but Ive also had to teach them to others at the beginning, middle,
and end stages o their journey.
A journey o a thousand miles must begin with a single step.
Lao zu
You Have to Start Somewhere
In act, a good riend o mine recently asked me to help him learn to gol. His
wie had played a handul o times and he wanted to surprise her by giving it a
go. Shhhhh! He visited the local gol megastore to explore and look at the ancy
equipment. Whoops! Sensory overload! He staggered out in a gear-inducedstupor and phoned me immediately. We met later that evening, and it didnt
take me long to realize our conversation was worth recording. I immediately
began to scribble with kids crayons on the back o my paper placemat:
(Ryan) Should I buy new clubs?
(Me) Maybe.
How do you know which clubs to buy?
Well, when youre rst starting outsee i you can borrow some. Youll want to
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8 GOLF,NAKED
try a ew times beore you buy some expensive equipment that youre not even
sure youre going to enjoy using. In that regard, its a lot like skiing.
How do you know which gol ball to use?
Whichevers the cheapestcause youre going to lose em all anyway. Someday
you might be able to tell the dierence between expensive and cheap gol balls,
but I doubt it. Certainly that day isnt today, nor is it tomorrow!
What is the dierence?
You see, gol balls used to be made o balata rubber, the harvested sap rom
trees in the rain orest, but now balata is rare, so balls are made rom compres-
sionless cores o compacted rubbery stu . . . Never mind, its pretty scienticand a multibillion dollar industry.
Te guy at the store said that I should be custom ft or clubs. Whats that?
Gol clubs can be built specically or your body and your swingbased on
your height, arm length, hand position at impact, strength, swing speed, lie an-
gle, shot trajectory, etc.
Does all that stu really matter?
Yes, eventually.
When?
I dont know. When you improve enough to eel as though youre ready to make
a serious investment in your equipment.
But how will I know that I like gol i the clubs Im using arent right or me?
Good question. For now, you can at least get a general understanding o thegame and see i it appeals to you, and regardless o club t, you should still be
able to hit a decent shot every now and again.
Sweet. Which club goes arthest?
ypically the 1-wood, or driver. But to start with, you wont hit it the arthest.
Youll probably hit a 5-wood or 3-wood arther. Tey arent actually made out
o wood anymore either. Woods are the big, at-headed, metal clubs with the
socks on them.
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Sweat the Small Stu 9
Huh?
Yeah, I know. Its conusing. Basically, until you become better, youll need the
added lot o the 3-wood or 5-wood to help get the ball into the air. When
your swing speed and your ability to hit the ball in the middle o the clubaceincrease, then youll be able to use the driver.
What are lot, swing speed, and clubace?
Arrrgh! Well get to that. It makes more sense when were actually swinging a
club at the range.
Whats a range?
Seriously?
Yeah.
Te practice area at the gol course.
Does every gol course have a range?
No. Not necessarily.
Ten how do people practice?Most dont.
Ten how do they get better?
Most dont.
Ten why do people play?
Because its un.
Is it un even i you suck?
Sure. But its denitely more un to be good.
Ive played miniature gol beore. Does that count?
Hey, its a start. Putting is super-important.
Is it more important to putt good or to hit the ball way out there?
Well.
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10 GOLF,NAKED
Well what?
Putt well. Its more important to putt well.
What?
Never mind. Most o a players strokes come within 50 yards o the green. So
yeah, its more important to your score to putt well. But honestly, its more im-
portant to your psyche and to the overall enjoyment o the game to hit the ball
a long ways.
Whats a green? Te whole course is green.
Youve gotta be kidding?! Te green is the closely mown area on each hole that
surrounds the agstick. Its where you putt on the gol course. Te really shortgrasslike carpet.
Is that where those sand pits are, too?
You mean bunkers. Bunkers can be anywhere on the gol course, but yeah,
they surround the greens in most cases.
What club do you use to hit with when youre in a sand pit?
Bunker. You use whatever club you think you can hit the proper distance basedon the length required or the shot and how deeply the ball is buried in the sand.
But usually, rom a greenside bunker, youll use a wedge.
How do you know which wedge to use? Is that like the 7-wedge or the 6-wedge?
No, those are called ironsbut theyre not really made out o iron. It depends
on how ar you want to hit the ball. Te longer the iron, measured by length in
inches, the lower and arther it goes and the lower the number thats on it. A
5-iron is longer, goes lower, and should go arther than a 9-iron.
How will I know how ar the ball goes?
Playing and practice.
How ar do you hit a 5-wedge?
5-iron. 195 yards.
Every time?
No. It depends on how well I make contact, how hard I swing, and the conditions
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Sweat the Small Stu 11
o the course and the weather. You knowwind, rain, temperature, grass length,
altitude, attitude, etc.
All o that matters?
Yes.
On every shot?
Yes.
Dude, one time my dog ate a bird.
No kidding.
I have learned that, i one advances condently in the direction
o his dreams, and endeavors to live the lie he has imagined,
he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
Henry David Toreau
Culture Shock
Can you imagine moving to a oreign land and instantly adapting to its culturewith only a limited knowledge o the people, customs, or language? Impossible.
For instance, in some countries its customary to kiss total strangers upon intro-
ductionon the mouth. While in others, you dont even shake hands, because
its the hand that is used in lieu o toilet paper.
Among countless other actors, procient integration into a culture requires
a complex understanding o its vocabulary. Speaking a new language is difcult
enough without mastering the nuances such as context, tempo, tone, and inec-
tion. Add to that the need to walk, dress, spit, sneeze, stand up straight, andscratch onesel in the appropriate time and meter, and the task o becoming a
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competent goler may seem quite daunting. It might take years o stumbling
or just reading this book!
Te act is, theres a huge dierence in application between many o the o-
cial terms o the game and the real ones. For example:Ofcial: Good heavens, Buy! It appears that your ball in play, struck
rom the teeing ground with your 1-wood, has crossed the margin o the lat-
eral water hazard, designated by the red stakes and lines, entitling you to ve
relie options, one o which is to measure two club lengths rom that spot and
drop there.
Although the verbiage here is totally correct, i you talk like this youll sound
like an idiot. ry this instead:
Real: Honey, you snapped the big dog into the drink. Just drop up therewhere it went in.
Admittedly, this is less rened, but totally accurate and equally as acceptable.
Without ormal instructions, it seems to take between two and three years
to learn a new language, and thats when its used daily or is necessary or
survival. Anyone with children can conrm that. But when the words are only
used periodically, like every other weekend or the summer months, and when
the nonverbal communication carries an elevated importance, the task o cul-
tural assimilation can seem hopeless.
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Sweat the Small Stu 13
I dont remember learning to talkbut watching my daughters makes
me appreciate the process. I do remember learning to speak the language o
gol, and Ive seen hundreds make the same transition, rom goo-goo-gah-gah,
whis, and dubs to silver-tongued eloquence, roped 2-irons, and holes-in-
one. Have aith, it can happen.
Faith is being sure o what we hope or, and certain o what
we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1
Consider the Source
Men are our: He who knows not and knows not he knows
not, he is a oolshun him; He who knows not and knows
he knows not, he is simpleteach him; He who knows and
knows not he knows, he is asleepwake him; He who knowsand knows he knows, he is wiseollow him.
Lady Burton
Interestingly enough, practically all gol literature is written by someone with-
out PGA credentials. Tis seems like a total disconnect when you consider that
PGA-certied gol proessionals are the only ofcial practitioner-instructors othe sport and its culture. You wouldnt take piano lessons rom your accountant
just because he or she likes music, would you? You shouldnt take gol advice
rom any other source, either.
Te gol experience encompasses so much more than just swinging a club.
I a gol swing takes two seconds and you shoot 100, then only two hundred
seconds are spent golng during a typical round. Te rest is spent talking,
joking, searching, preparing, keeping score, relaxing, eating hot dogs, gambling,
admiring the view, and interacting with your ellow players. Tese are the realmeat and potatoes o the game.
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Dont get me wrong; prociency in the game is important, and well get to
it. But i youre not comortable at the gol course and i youre not committed
to the process, you wont come back.
Every gol experience begins with a simple decision to play. It can start with
a casual conversation in the locker room, a quick trip to the practice range while
youre headed home rom the ofce, or a ormal invitation rom your buddy to
an upcoming member-guest tournament.
Every gol experience has its own set o details. Where will you play? When?
Why? Who will you be with? Will you walk or ride? Do you have time to arrive
early? How early? What will you do with that timepractice, warm up, eat?
What will you wear, depending on conditions? Should you pay or your guest
ees, or will the host pick it up? What kind o betting should you expect, andhow much cash will that require? Can you write a check? What can you do to
make things easier on the sta? Will you have time to hide a pound o raw ham-
burger in the bottom o your buddys gol bag beore you leave post-gol? Will
he nd it beore he can smell it? Would you, i the bee was in your bag?
Contrary to the popular adage Dont sweat the small stu, in gol it s the
small stu that matters most. And in a game o unwritten rules and outdated
stereotypes, learning that small stu can be a daunting task.
Gozzer Ranch, Coeur dAlene, Idaho15th Hole.Photo provided courtesy o Gozzer Ranch,
Coeur dAlene, Idaho
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ISBN-13: 978-0-9815319-5-3
52495
US $24.95Sports & Recreation/Golf
eres so much more to golf than your score. Golf, Nakedteaches you to ace the rest of
the game. Its flat-out brilliant!
Andrew Magee, PGA Tour golfer, host of e Golf Channels e Big Break
is book says the things that all Pros wish our members knew but dont like telling them
ourselves. Golf, Nakeddoes the dirty work for me in a way thats fun for the reader.
Chad Stoddard, PGA Head Professional, Broken Top Club, Bend, OR
As a new golfer, I find much of the same satisfaction that I did as a professional skier.
Golf, Nakedputs into words something Id only previously felt: Golf, to me, is a
feelingnot the final score.
Josh Loubek, professional skier, Winter X Games head judge
Reading Golf, Nakeddefinitely helped me feel more comfortable at the local golf club that I
recently joined. At first I felt like a bull in a china shop; now I feel like I really belong.
Adam Deadmarsh, NHL star, Stanley Cup winner, Olympic silver medalist
Greg is a decent son. His book is better than I expected.
Sandra Rowley, Gregs mom, lousy golfer and marginal cook
How confident are you?Golf, Nakedcan make you comfortable and confident
with all of golf s language, behaviors, nuances, and
preparationsso you can focus on your game.