THE STORY OF GOLDILOCKS AND

THE THREE CONSTITU TIONAL LY

SAVVY BEARS

By, Derick Leach

Once upon a time there were three bears. A mama bear named

Winnie Hamilton, her wife Alexander Hamilton, and their son, a

fluffy little cub named Jon Adams One day the family sat down for

Sunday brunch to enjoy a nice bowl of porridge.

However, the porridge was too hot! So Winnie decided to take a

stroll through the forest. This is where Goldilocks comes in.

Goldilocks was a young girl with long blonde hair. This morning she

was playing in the forest when she came upon a house.

She knocked and, when no one answered, she walked right in. At the

table in the kitchen, there were three bowls of porridge. Goldilocks

was hungry. She tasted the porridge from the first bowl.

"This porridge is too hot!" she exclaimed.

So, she tasted the porridge from the second bowl.

"This porridge is too cold," she said

So, she tasted the last bowl of porridge.

"Ahhh, this porridge is just right," she said happily and she ate it all up.

After she'd eaten the three bears' brunches she decided she was feeling a

little tired. So, she walked into the living room where she saw three

chairs. Goldilocks sat in the first chair to rest her feet.

"This chair is too big!" she exclaimed.

So she sat in the second chair.

"This chair is too big, too!" she whined.

So she tried the last and smallest chair.

"Ahhh, this chair is just right," she sighed. But just as she settled down

into the chair to rest, it broke into pieces!

Goldilocks was very tired by this time, so she went upstairs to the

bedroom. She lay down in the first bed, but it was too hard. Then she

lay in the second bed, but it was too soft. Then she lay down in the

third bed and it was just right. Goldilocks fell asleep.

As she was sleeping, the three bears came home.

"Someone's been eating my porridge," growled the Papa bear.

"Someone's been eating my porridge," said the Mama bear.

"Someone's been eating my porridge and they ate it all up!" cried the

Baby bear.

"Someone's been sitting in my chair," growled the Papa bear.

"Someone's been sitting in my chair," said the Mama bear.

"Someone's been sitting in my chair and they've broken it all to

pieces," cried the Baby bear.

They decided to look around some more and when they got upstairs to

the bedroom, Papa bear growled, "Someone's been sleeping in my

bed,"

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed, too" said the Mama bear

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed and she's still there!" exclaimed

Baby bear.

Just then, Goldilocks woke up and saw the three bears. She screamed,

"Help!"

“Shut up!” Said the mama bear.

“I don’t have to!” replied Goldilocks, “I am protected under the

Constitution, I have the freedom to speak.”

Papa bear left the room in the middle of the chaos.

Papa bear came back into the room holding a .12 gauge.

“Hey you can’t have that gun!” Goldilocks was scared out of her wits.

“Yes I can, the second amendment allows me to bear arms”

“Hey! I have bear arms!” Baby bear exclamed.

“No son, it means you’re allowed to own a gun.” Papa bear exclamed

with a grin on his face.

Goldilocks thought on her feet.

“You have to let me stay here, I’m a soldier.”

“No we don’t, the third amendment prevents the quartering of

troops.” Replied mama bear smugly.

“Well at least let me look through your stuff before I leave.”

“No! Thanks to the fourth amendment you can’t legally search our

house.”

Oh no. Goldilocks was running out of ideas.

“Someone call the ranger,” mama bear yelled, “We’re charging her for

breaking and entering!”

“HAHA! You can’t charge me for that, due to the fifth amendment I

can’t be tried for the same crime twice and I already got caught breaking

into Mother Goose’s house.” Goldilocks quickly replied with smug

satisfaction.

“Fine then,” said papa bear, “we’ll just charge you for something else.

Destruction of property? Theft? Take your pick.”

“Well I at least get a speedy civil trial by jury due to the sixth and

seventh amendments.” Goldilocks felt very good about her small

victory.”

“On second thought,” Growled Alexander angrily, “maybe we shouldn’t

even call the sheriff, maybe we should just torture her.”

“How should we do that?” asked Winnie.

“Since she’s so hungry, we can make her drink the hot porridge.”

At this point baby bear stepped in, “But daddy, we can’t do that! The

eighth amendment prevents cruel and unusual punishment!”

“Is there any other amendments you’d like to use against me?” Papa

bear was very angry at this point.

“Well,” Jon thought for a minute, “The ninth amendment speaks of

enumerated rights and the tenth amendment keeps the power in the

hand of the states.” Jon smiled satisfactorily such as a small child

would.

Papa bear was very angry. “This is why we stopped using the articles

of confederation! I thought we had developed a strong central

government!” He was practically steaming.

“Well honey we could’ve gone with the Constitutional Convention but

it gives unequal power to different branches so this family would fall

apart.” Winnie was trying to calm him down.

“These amendments are part of the Bill of Rights. It may not always

seem fair at the time but it keeps the system running smoothly and

gives everyone equal rights.” Baby bear was actually cooling him down.

“I just want her out!” Roared papa bear. He expelled a thunderous roar

that made the mountains quake and just as quickly as goldilocks had

arrived she high-tailed it out. The bears fixed baby bear’s chair, fixed a

new pot of porridge, and went back on with their day.

THE END

LINKS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaulRHrJGeU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sre7GuNEjpE

http://www.thegoldilocksgame.com/goldilocks.php

Sources:

Images: • http://darkfaerietales.com/wp-content/uploads/Goldilocks.jpg

• http://www.brombear.com/images/story_goldilocks1.jpg

• http://www.trovarsinrete.org/1circolo/english%20corner/goldilocks/e-bk-easy-readers-04goldilocks-pic2-

anim.gif

• http://maths.nayland.school.nz/Year_13_Stats/3.6_Distributions/images_goldilocks/e-bk-easy-readers-

04goldilocks-pic3-anim.gif

• http://lwd.kalebklein.com/klein_goldilocks/images/goldilocks08.gif

• http://www.trovarsinrete.org/1circolo/english%20corner/goldilocks/e-bk-easy-readers-04goldilocks-pic5-

anim.gif

• http://www.trovarsinrete.org/1circolo/english%20corner/goldilocks/e-bk-easy-readers-04goldilocks-pic6-

anim.gif

• http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uurekRDLmzo/TeOlIh-

MS9I/AAAAAAAABXs/Atm1GEDptec/s1600/Sleeping_bed_010_both.jpg

• http://drawception.com/pub/panels/2012/5-6/R4q97skR6d-4.png

• http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_kKXF-

Nvlmrw/SBOH9wHJNYI/AAAAAAAAAUU/skZrwrvn77Y/s320/AngryBear.jpg