8/10/2019 Go4English Form 11 - Teacher Naomi's Class Corrections for Stella (October 11, 2014)

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Go4English Form 11Teacher Naomis Class Corrections

(September 29-October 12, 2014)

Student: Stella Subject: IELTS Academic Writing Task 2

Teacher: Teacher Naomi Textbook:

Class Date: October 11, 2014Lesson/

Page no.:

O R I G I N A L V E R S I O N

IELTS Writing Task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Some people prefer to work for a large company.Others prefer to work for a small company. Which would you prefer?Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

You should write at least 250 words.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge orexperience.

I prefer to work at a large workplace. In my opinion, compared with small companies, there are lots ofadvantages of working at big companies. To insistsupport my point of view, I will present samesomeinstances and reasons in the succeeding paragraphs.

In fact, some people want to work atin small surroundings. Most of the time, if you worked atfor/in thatkind of company, you would feel a friendly atmosphere. In reality, there was an experiment whichshowed/proved that most employees inspireenhance/improve their abilitieswellin that/suchenvironment. Without a doubt, I do acknowledge that result. Moreover, when I worked at a smalllaboratory, I managed my workload effectively. Yet, in a different angle, you need to think about the

fundamental purpose of work. Why do you work? Of course, to live. In other words, people cannot livewithout work because it is a source of living/income to make to reside them. I strongly back upagree thamany people are chasing money and dying gotoget a high salary. On the other handHowever, smallcompanies normally do not offer/provide such opportunities.As it isBased on my experience, nothingbeats high wagesfor workers.

Secondly, big companies basically provide sufficient welfare. Compared with pasta decade ago, over 50%of peoplejob holders/employees/workers pursue their rights at workplace, such as holiday of pregnancymaternity and funeralleaves. Since a decade is not enough to accept the trendfor every company toaccept employment/labor laws, unfortunately, some companies do not adopt,andbut mostlytheycompaniesare mostlyminors. When I was young, I seldom cherished the value of welfare. However, as

8/10/2019 Go4English Form 11 - Teacher Naomi's Class Corrections for Stella (October 11, 2014)

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time went by, my perception changed since theother people considered their welfare. Therefore, manyreaders can agree with me.

On the whole, the abovementioned reasons are related to wealth and well-being and are influenced byour society.

E D I T E D V E R S I O N

I prefer to work at a large workplace. In my opinion, compared with small companies, there are lots ofadvantages of working at big companies. To support my point of view, I will present some instances andreasons in the succeeding paragraphs.

In fact, some people want to work in small surroundings. Most of the time, if you worked for that kind ofcompany, you would feel a friendly atmosphere. In reality, there was an experiment which proved thatmost employees enhance their abilities in such environment. Without a doubt, I do acknowledge thatresult. Moreover, when I worked at a small laboratory, I managed my workload effectively. Yet, in adifferent angle, you need to think about the fundamental purpose of work. Why do you work? Of course,to live. In other words, people cannot live without work because it is a source of income. I strongly agreethat many people are chasing money and dying to get a high salary. However, small companies normallydo not offer such opportunities. Based on my experience, nothing beats high wages for workers.

Secondly, big companies basically provide sufficient welfare. Compared with a decade ago, over 50% ofjob holders pursue their rights at work, such as maternity and funeral leaves. Since a decade is notenough for every company to accept employment laws, unfortunately, some companies do not adopt butthey are mostly minor. When I was young, I seldom cherished the value of welfare. However, as timewent by, my perception changed since other people considered their welfare. Therefore, many readers

can agree with me.

On the whole, the abovementioned reasons are related to wealth and well-being and are influenced byour society.

F E E D B A C K A N D P O I N T S F O R I M P R O V E M E N T

You gave a fair discussion in that you presented the upsides of your argument and at the sametime taking the downsides in consideration. Your reasons and examples are also specific. As for yourverbs, their tenses and forms are accurate overall. Last, you used the comma and full stop appropriately.

Very good!

On the other hand, you used some wrong or redundant words/expressions. To overcome suchproblem, always consult your dictionary to check whether youre using the right word(s) or not. In sodoing, youll be able to make use of synonyms instead of repeating the same word(s) again and again.Finally, lapses with regard to prepositions and articles are present in your writing. Always pay closeattention to the corrections and apply them to your writings as much as possible.

8/10/2019 Go4English Form 11 - Teacher Naomi's Class Corrections for Stella (October 11, 2014)

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