Go4English Form 11Teacher Naomi’s Class Corrections

(September 15-September 28, 2014) Student: Shine Subject: IELTS Academic Writing Task 1

Teacher: Teacher Naomi Textbook:

Class Date: September 26, 2014

Lesson/ Page no.:

O R I G I N A L V E R S I O N

IELTS Writing Task 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by local authorities in Someland in 1980, 1990 and 2000.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

Expenditure by local authorities in Someland

The three pie charts illustrate the annual expenses in on six categories by local authorities in Someland in 1980, 1990 and 2000. Overall, the highest figure was spent on higher education throughout the period.The proportion of higher education in 1990 was first the highest, accounting for 45%, whereas the its percentages in 1980 and 2000 were only 35% and 40% respectively.

In case of K-12 education, the share in 1980 was 25%. Yet, its figure dropped to 20% in1990. After all, the percentage was and ended at 18% in 2000 because of a decrease.

With regard to transportation, the its changes fluctuated throughout the period. In detail, In 1980 the expenditure on transportation the proportion was stood at 16%,. Surprisingly, its proportion decreased to only 6% which was a third category in 1990. By contrast, it a second one but rose dramatically in 2000, representing 22%.

The shares of health and human resources were less than 15% except for 1990.

As for environmental services and other categories/services, the percentages were minors, ranged ranging from 1% to 9%.

On the whole, the tendencies of ratios the annual costs in of each category in three separate years were mostly unstable aside from higher education and K-12 education.

E D I T E D V E R S I O N

The three pie charts illustrate the annual expenses on six categories by local authorities in Someland in 1980, 1990 and 2000. Overall, the highest figure was spent on higher education throughout the period.

The proportion of higher education in 1990 was the highest, accounting for 45%, whereas its percentages in 1980 and 2000 were only 35% and 40% respectively. In case of K-12 education, the share in 1980 was 25%. Yet, its figure dropped to 20% in1990 and ended at 18% in 2000.

With regard to transportation, its changes fluctuated throughout the period. In 1980 the expenditure on transportation stood at 16%. Surprisingly, its proportion decreased to only 6% in 1990 but rose dramatically in 2000, representing 22%.

The shares of health and human resources were less than 15% except for 1990. As for environmental services and other services, the percentages were minor, ranging from 1% to 9%.

On the whole, the tendencies of the annual costs of each category in three separate years were mostly unstable aside from higher education and K-12 education.

F E E D B A C K A N D P O I N T S F O R I M P R O V E M E N T

You managed to describe the illustration in detail except for a little misinformation in your fourth paragraph. For the most part, you used appropriate transitional words/phrases. Although the range of your vocabulary is good, some of your sentences are wrongly phrased. Therefore, it’s recommended that you study more vocabulary words to avoid using simple or common ones. Finally, problems regarding prepositions, articles, and spelling are evident throughout your writing. Please pay attention to the corrections made.