Giving and Receiving Feedback - DecisionWise

815 West 450 South Springville, UT 84663 USA // +1.801.515.6500 // decision-wise.com

Giving and Receiving FeedbackDarrell Harmon, MOB • Senior Leadership Consultant • Executive Coach

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DecisionWise Webcast: Giving and Receiving Feedback

DecisionWise Leadership Development Programs

Transformational training programs

LAP

Management Excellence

LEAD

Leadership Excellence, Alignment, and Development (LEAD)This program is designed for executive and senior-level leaders as well as high-potential leaders in the organization. Participants learn how to lead strategically across functions and to understand their leadership style.

Leadership Acceleration Program (LAP)This program is designed for mid-level managers and high-potential supervisors. Participants learn how to work effectively as both a manager and a leader and increase basic leadership skills.

Management ExcellenceThis program is designed for all managers and supervisors. Participants learn the basic principles of effective management and how to deliver results through their teams.

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Giving feedback: what’s the point?

And would some Power the small gift give us:

to see ourselves as others see us!

It would from many a blunder free us,

and foolish notion.

What airs of dress and gait would leave us,

and even devotion!

Robert Burns, “To a Louse”

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Which would you prefer?

a. Tell your boss that she needs to be less of a micromanager.

b. Tell a coworker that others think his jokes are moronic and otherwise offensive.

c. Tell your BFF at work that s/he has a “noticeable aroma.”

d. Get a root canal.

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Why is giving feedback so hard?

We go negative (e.g., Fundamental Attribution Error)

We think in binary terms (good/bad, right/wrong).

Bias increases when we’re under pressure.

We start with conclusions when giving feedback. This creates a competitive loop.

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Roles and responsibilities

Role of Giver

Role of Receiver

Motivate + Guide

Learn + Improve

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SARAH: the journey to hope

Energy

What? Did I hear

you right?

Are you kidding?

I don’t think so!

Stunned silence

Non-responsive

What do I need to

consider?

What can I do? What

might be possible?

Who might be able

and willing to help?

I get it—but I don’t

buy it. It’s a mistake.

This doesn’t apply

to me.

What’s the point of

trying?

No way! Obviously

others don’t get

what I do.

I just can’t talk

about this now.

Hope

Hey, this might

actually work out.

I can see how this

could lead to

something good.

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Giving feedback: best practices

Give the

context

Express

good

intentions

Share your

perspective

Ask for their

perspective

Decide

what to

do

Follow up

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Giving positive feedback (the easy stuff)

Specific: exactly what they did

Positive: keep it all good

Impact: what happened because of it

Current: soon after the event

Effort: reinforce good behaviors

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Giving redirecting feedback (the hard stuff)

“He has a right to criticize who has a heart to help.”

Ask yourself:

“What would make me do that?”

“How does the behavior harm the other person?”

“How will my feedback help?”

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Got a tough message?

Go ahead, SAY IT:

Start objectively—just the facts.

Add Your perspective.

Invite other facts and perspective.

Together decide what to do.

815 West 450 South Springville, UT 84663 USA // +1.801.515.6500 // decision-wise.com

Receiving Feedback

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Barriers to receiving feedback

Self-deception

Self-awareness

Ego Defensives

Naïve Realism: We think we see the world directly, as it really is. We also think that what we see is what everyone else sees.

Self-serving bias: Tendency to put our own spin on our success, and explain away or justify our failures.

Negativity Bias: The tendency to focus all attention on negative feedback.

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How to receive feedback: best practices

Adopt an attitude of curiosity

Ask only clarifying questions

Summarize what you heard

Commit to consider feedback

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Tools to accept feedback

“Tell me more. Help me understand what you mean by ….”

“Can you give an example so I can picture what you are referring to?”

“Do you have any additional thoughts on …?”

“What do you think I could do to …?”

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That’s it!

asd

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DecisionWise Leadership Development Programs

Transformational training programs

Leadership Excellence, Alignment, and Development (LEAD)This program is designed for executive and senior-level leaders as well as high-potential leaders in the organization. Participants learn how to lead strategically across functions and to understand their leadership style.

Leadership Acceleration Program (LAP)This program is designed for mid-level managers and high-potential supervisors. Participants learn how to work effectively as both a manager and a leader and increase basic leadership skills.

Management ExcellenceThis program is designed for all managers and supervisors. Participants learn the basic principles of effective management and how to deliver results through their teams.

LAP

Management Excellence

LEAD

Giving and Receiving Feedback - DecisionWise

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