Girl Scouts of Colorado I Said, She Said:

Conflict Resolution for Girl Scouts

Intro/Kickoff• Introduce yourself to those you don’t know.

• Familiarize yourself with the contents of the workbook .

• Finish this statement: “In life, conflict is …”

What to Expect

• Conflict Overview

• How to Minimize Conflict

• Facilitating Others in Conflict

• Tips for Working through

Conflict

• Close

Typical Causes of Conflict• Wants or Needs Differ

• Values Differ

• Perceptions Differ

• Inaccurate or Faulty Assumptions

• Expectations Differ

Defining Conflict

1. A state of disagreement, controversy, or disharmony. The opposition of mutually exclusive desires, tendencies, etc.

2. Expressed struggle between at least 2 parties, who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources and interference from others in achieving their goals.

Common Beliefs About Conflict• Conflict is negative.

• Conflict will resolve itself if left alone.

• Conflict must be resolved immediately.

• Conflict is destructive.

Conflict Spiral

Changing your Paradigm about Conflict

Strong Emotions

High Stakes

Opp

osin

g O

pini

ons

From Crucial Conversations

How to Minimize Conflict

• Keys to Troop Management

• How Girl Scouts Look at

Conflict

• Tools for Leaders

• Your role …

How Girl Scouts Look at Conflict

• What is GSUSA’s view of Conflict?• Can something good come from a conflict situation

within a troop?• What supports/tools are there for you as a leader?

5 Keys to Successful Troop Management

1. Adults who actively work in partnership with girls2. A place where girls feel secure, trusted and

valued3. Girls’ ownership of activities4. Girls’ planning activities5. Girls and adults who respect and like each other

Good Boundaries• Boundaries set up expectations • How can boundaries reduce conflict?• What Girl Scout traditions establish

boundaries?

Group Agreement• Establish common ground• Describe observable behaviors• Define boundaries• May include consequences for violations• In Girl Scouts, should be based on the Promise &

Law• Have advantage of being participant-led &

participant-monitored for better buy-in

Your role:

Facilitating Others Through Conflict

Step 1: Determine Ground RulesHow to Fight Fair

Step 2: Discuss and Define the Problem

What is Going On?

Step 3: Jointly Develop a Desired Outcome

What Do We Both Want?

Step 4: Determine a Plan

How Will We Get It?

Step 5: Commit to Follow Up

How Did We Do?

• Focus on behaviors and consequences of behaviors; be specific.o Be prepared to explain a specific behavior you want

instead of the behavior you don’t want.• Take ownership of your behavior and feelings.

o Think about where you can agree and what YOU are willing to change ahead of time.

o Ask yourself: “What am I pretending not to notice about my role in this?”

• Try to humanize the other person. o Ask yourself: “Why would a reasonable, rational, and

decent person do what they are doing?”• Ask for help if you need it.

Words of Wisdom (Best Practices) When Working Through Conflict:BEFORE

• Use active listening behaviors.o Make it safe for others to express their opinions, needs, etc.

• Talk tentatively to soften the message:o “The fact is…” (vs) “In my opinion…”o “Everyone knows that…” (vs) “I’ve talked to 3 others who

share my view…”o “It’s clear to me ..” (vs) “I’m beginning to wonder …”

• Try to remain open to a variety of solutions and compromises. o Encourage testing. Ask: “What am I missing here?” or “I’d

really want to hear from you”• Take time out when feelings heat up.

o Set a time to start again if you take time out.• Ask for help if you need it.

Words of Wisdom (Best Practices) When Working Through Conflict:DURING

• Follow up on your commitments.• Hold a brief ‘debrief’ to prompt

continuous improvement & learning.o What did we do well?o What could/should we do better next

time?o What have we learned?

Words of Wisdom (Best Practices) When Working Through Conflict:AFTER

How will YOU ‘Take Action’?

Write down something that you have learned during this session that you will be able to use with your troop.

Questions?

Thank you!