Gilbert Pilot

8/18/2019 Gilbert Pilot

1/39

GILBERT

"WILL THE REAL JESSE PLEASE STAND UP?"

Written by

CEDRIC BEARD

[email protected] Franklin Ave.Apt. 116Los Angeles, CA 90028


2/39

TEASER

EXT. BEVERLY HILLS HIGHRISE - MORNING

We open to the SUNRISE, over of the WILSHIRE CORRIDOR. High

priced CONDOS dominate both sides of the street. This is whatthe city’s about; an elegant lifestyle that comes with aclear price.

INT. JESSE’S BEDROOM - MORNING

We immediately notice scattered LIQUOR and CHAMPAGNE BOTTLES.This ain’t elegant or classy. JESSE (35), stands in front ofthe mirror.

He’s the type who should smile more. The BAGS under his eyessuggests that he won’t age gracefully. He jiggles a PILL from

a bottle, for God knows what purpose.

JESSE(to himself)

I wanna make this brief ...

We pan out and meet BECCA (early 20s), a hot stripper. She’sfiling her finger nails, and pays Jesse no mind.

JESSE... I quit. And I hate you all,very much.

His words suddenly AROUSE Becca.

BECCA Did you just say, “you quit”?

JESSEMorning peptalk. Don’t mind me.

BECCA I’m with you because of your drive?You know that, right?

JESSEAbout that. I think we need totalk.

BECCA We do enough of that already. Whydon’t you lie back down, while I make breakfast?


3/39

JESSEYou’ve been making me breakfastsince Tuesday .

BECCA Is that a bad thing?

JESSEWell yeah. You’ve been staying oversince Tuesday .

BECCA And I clean this place up. And Ihave dinner waiting for you.

JESSEWhat I’m about to say isn’t easy.

He pauses, more to keep a straight face, than anything else.

JESSEYou showed me travel brochures theother day. I think we should just... Call it.

BECCA (emotional)

But, 75 % of couples that travel;find long term happiness.

She gets outta bed stark NAKED. She seductively backs him upagainst the wall. Jesse didn’t listen to a word she said; but

he’s moved none the less. She drops to her knees ...

CUT TO:

INT. BEVERLY HILLS HIGHRISE - MAIN FLOOR - LATER

Jesse walks through the lobby. He approaches a DOORMAN andhands him a BILL.

JESSEI gotta little situation in my

place. See that she’s out, before Iget back from work.

The Doorman takes the bill and grins.

INT. BEVERLY HILLS HIGHRISE - PARKING GARAGE - LATER

Jesse approaches a GLEAMING, 72’, CHEERY RED CORVETTE. It’shis PRIDE and JOY!

2.


4/39

He notices a DULL SPOT that he quickly WIPES off. Satisfied,he hops inside an unimpressive FORD EXPLORER. And he’s off!

INT. GAS STATION - MOMENTS LATER

Jesse has two TALL BOYS on the counter. The CASHIER snickers.

CASHIERCard declined.

JESSEWhat? But there’s no way.

CASHIERApparently there is.

JESSE(frustrated)

It’s probably frozen. It’s a jointaccount with my ex-wife.

CASHIERDo you have another way to pay 4dollars and 38 cents?

Jesse digs in his wallet. Off screen, we hear the CRACK of abeer can opening.

EXT. HIGHWAY - LATER

Jesse’s engaged in a battle with the radio. He drives by ananti-drinking and driving BILLBOARD.

It shows an angry father in the kitchen; with his wife andkid huddled up in the corner, real scared. It reads “WHEN YOUDRINK, YOU’RE NOT JUST HURTING YOURSELF!”

Jesse sarcastically TOASTS to the billboard before taking aswig.

EXT. CBC STUDIOS - ENTRANCE - LATER

Jesse flashes a BADGE to the blue collar GATE ATTENDANT. Theyexchange miserable nods.

3.


5/39

INT. CBC STUDIOS - LATER

We’re now on set, which is a Junior High cafeteria. We focuson the AUDIENCE. Which is made up of children, lots ofchildren.

ANNOUNCER (O.S.)Welcome to the Live taping ofGilbert! But before we begin, let’s meet him ... Our best pal, GILBERT!

We watch, in both horror and pity, as Jesse enters in FULLCOSTUME. A “poindexter” outfit that’s five sizes too small.He sports a dorky “white guy fro’” and fake braces.

JESSE(as Gilbert)

Hey kids are you ready to get

Funky?

AUDIENCEYeah!

JESSE(as Gilbert)

Well then what are we waiting for?Let’s get Funky!

Jesse begins doing the dopiest DANCE, because Gilbert is anovergrown dope. We pan closer to his eyes. This is a side ofJesse, that he still hasn’t come to terms with. He’s working.

END TEASER

4.


6/39


7/39

KELLEN(to Audience)

Yo, yo, yo; I’m so sorry.

The Audience starts CHEERING. Jesse, now out of character,stares down Kellen in a silent RAGE.

Jesse turns to GREG (35); the show runner, but Greg is allsmiles.

KELLENYo G, I got the next one, Ipromise.

GREGYou know what they say, the 8thtake’s the charm!

Jesse must SUPPRESS his temper. He exits to clean up.

INT. CBC STUDIOS - BACKSTAGE - LATER

A cleaned off Jesse stares at himself in the mirror. He’sINFURIATED. The scene took an eternity to finish.

Greg enters. Jesse rolls his eyes.

GREGWe need to talk.

JESSE

I know what this is about. I don’tdo guest appearances.

GREGThe whole cast is doing this BatMitzvah. Except you.

JESSEI’m a method actor! And mycharacter is afraid of girls. Soexcuse me, for putting mycharacter’s wants before my own!

Jesse STORMS off. Greg shakes his head and follows.

INT. CBC STUDIOS - BUFFET TABLE - CONTINUOUS

We meet Jesse’s best friend, Harold (30s). A fat, scheming writer; who helps himself to a BLACK COFFEE. He lookshungover and grumpy.

6.


8/39

Kellen enters. Harold tries to leave, but it’s too late.

KELLENJust the man I been looking fo’.

HAROLD

(fake smile)Kellen! My main man!

KELLENNaw bruh, dis biz’ness. Gilbert hadthree more lines den me!

(smacks Harold)Three!

HAROLDIt’s going to even out by Act II!

KELLEN

I need da ball early and often!Maybe I need to get G involved?

HAROLDDon’t go to Greg! I got ya’ back!

They have a quick STARE DOWN, that Kellen wins.

KELLENAaight, I’ll let it slide. But youslippin’!

Kellen exits. Harold feels thouroughly degraded.

EXT. STUDIO - MOMENTS LATER

Jesse’s outside enjoying the peace and quiet. He’simmediately rushed by PETER (40s), a slim, clean cut man; with a creepy AURA, all his own.

PETERWhere have you been, my son?

JESSE

What did I tell you about that!PETER

For me it’s not just a show.Sometimes I truly do see you as myson. Isn’t that funny?

JESSEWhat do you want, Peter?

7.


9/39

PETERAaron’s in trouble, we must actfast and accordingly!

We meet AARON (13), a chubby kid, who plays a bullying jock.Like Jesse, he’s also very uncomfortable around Peter.

AARONKellen put Slimfast on my desk. Hesaid it was a present. Even thetutor was laughing at me!

JESSESeriously kid, don’t you haveparents?

PETERI can’t believe Kellen would do athing like that!

AARONEven Greg took his side!

JESSEYou think life sucks now? Wait tilyou get older.

Jesse openly smirks as he heads back inside.

INT. BACKSTAGE - MOMENTS LATER

Jesse re-enters. He’s immediately flanked by VICTOR (early20s); his efficient, yet under appreciated assistant.

JESSEHow many backstage passes did youhand out?

VICTORSix.

JESSEThe Redhead in the front row?

VICTOROh yeah.

JESSEHow many came with kids?

VICTORAll of ‘em. But I set up a pizzaparty to keep the brats busy.

8.


10/39

JESSECall Harold. Tell him to bringRedbull and Vodka. Cheap Vodka!

VICTORHe’s already waiting in your

trailer. He also called dibs on theRedhead. But I wouldn’t be too worried about it.

Jesse gives an approving nod. Victor stiffens.

VICTORMy apologies. But your lawyer andaccountant have been calling all morning.

JESSETake a message. I’m a busy man.

Victor nods. Jesse continues to his trailer.

INT. TRAILER - DAY

Jesse enters his trailer. Harold is already making DRINKS.Jesse nonchalantly grabs one.

HAROLDI call dibs on the Redhead!

Jesse rolls his eyes.

HAROLDI’m going to kill that little shit!

JESSEI thought Kellen was your main man?

HAROLD“Make it Happen” was clearly in thescript! Yet you do nothing, when hebrags about ad-libbing it!

JESSEThey’re going to buy whatever hesells. So I’m neutral.

HAROLDThat’s my phrase. I’ve been sayingthat line since High School!

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11/39


12/39

AARONYou do?

KELLENHell Yeah! Now we got the uh ...

(snaps fingers)

AARONBat Mitzvah?

KELLENYeah! Now her sister is 16. I onlyfucks wit da’ older bitches. And meand the crew is havin’ a contest.We sending her pics of our dicks with rulers!

AARONWhat for?

KELLENWhat you think! She gon’ give it upto the winner. Da bitch is outtacontrol!

AARONNo way!

KELLENAye, don’t ever doubt me bruh!Anytime I’m talking bitches orbiz’ness; I’m always telling the

truth ... So you in?

Aaron’s too nervous to think. The TUTOR enters ...

KELLEN(to Tutor)

Yo, one second?(to Aaron)

You either in or you out? Rightnow!

AARON

Ok, Ok, I’m in!Kellen smirks, and gives Aaron a hard SLAP on the back.

EXT. TRENDY RESTAURANT - DAY

Jesse sits across from his ACCOUNTANT (40s).

11.


13/39

JESSELemme guess. My credit cards arefrozen. And there’s nothing you cando?

ACCOUNTANT

Why aren’t you paying your alimony?

JESSEJill’s father is a millionaire. Shedoesn’t need my money!

ACCOUNTANTAccording to the State ofCalifornia; she doesn’t work. Andshe’s entitled to her alimony.

JESSEI wanted a prenup! But Trust Fund

Baby said “No”! ... Now I’m toobroke to even appeal this thing!

ACCOUNTANTYou must be patient with theprocess.

JESSEAre we done here?

ACCOUNTANTI have a gig, that pays money.

Jesse’s ears perk up.

ACCOUNTANTIt’s only a few hours of work.

JESSEWhat is it?

ACCOUNTANTA guest appearance at a BatMitzvah.

JESSEI hate guest appearances!

ACCOUNTANTIt’s my advice, that you keep thatto yourself. And take the job.

JESSEWhatever. Count me in.

12.


14/39

Jesse frowns at the very man, who just made him money.

INT. GREG’S OFFICE - LATER

Jesse enters and has a seat across from Greg.

JESSEI’ve been doing a lot of thinkingabout guest appearances.

GREGYou have?

JESSEIt would mean everything, toconnect with the fans. I wannastart by attending the Bat Mitzvah.

GREGGreat. Her family’s going to bethrilled!

JESSENot more thrilled than me. I ...

A KNOCK is heard at the door. Jesse’s too busy RAMBLING tonotice. CAMILLA (27) enters. She’s intelligent, beautiful,and Brazilian.

CAMILLA Oh. Sorry. Am I interrupting?

Jesse hears a voice that he instantly recognizes. Could itbe?

JESSECamilla? Oh my god! Is that you?

CAMILLA Jesse! It’s been forever!

They LEAP into each other’s arms! Jesse reveals a side ofhimself that we haven’t seen before. He’s genuinely ECSTATIC!

END ACT I

13.


15/39

ACT II

INT. GREG’S OFFICE - AFTERNOON

Jesse releases Camilla from their hug. His eyes remain locked

on her.

GREGYou two know each other?

CAMILLA We studied acting together in NewYork.

GREGHe studied acting?

Jesse grins and bears it.

CAMILLA How long has it been? Six years?

JESSEI thought you said you would nevercome to L.A.?

CAMILLA I said “I would never be apart ofthe Hollywood machine.” But this is more than working for a paycheck.This is education. Like you. I know

you’re not in it for a paycheck?

JESSEYou know me so well!

GREGFirst line of business. The wholecast is doing a Bat Mitzvah.Camilla, I would like you to go andobserve.

JESSE

That’s a great idea!GREG

(off his look)You guys have chemistry. You’regoing to need it, playing Motherand Son.

Jesse looks at floor. We pan to a POSTER of Gilbert, stuck inan elementary classroom desk.

14.


16/39

INT. STUDIO - BACKSTAGE - LATER

Jesse shows Camilla around ...

CAMILLA Do you ever think about Barefoot in

the Park ?

JESSEAll the time.

CAMILLA We were really good in that one.

JESSEWe always had great chemistry.

CAMILLA I knew you were going to get your

big break in that role.

JESSERemember when I was ready to quit?But you made me go to the audition?

CAMILLA You were too good to quit.

JESSEI always felt like I owed you. Forbelieving in me.

CAMILLA You were the first one who saw meas something more than a sexyseductress.

Jesse looks deeply into her eyes.

AARON (O.S.)Jesse?

JESSEWhat kid?

Jesse puts on a fake smile in front of Camilla.

AARONCan we talk for a second?

JESSESure thing uh, buddy.

(to Camilla)

15.

(MORE)


17/39

Give us a minute. I’m kind’ve likehis big brother.

Camilla walks away. Jesse puts an arm around Aaron.

AARON

So uh, Kellen and his friends-

JESSEShut up kid, you’re doing great ...Now in ten seconds we’re going tohigh five, and you’re going tosplit! Ok?

Jesse looks over at Camilla and SMILES. Then Aaron gets anunexpected SHOVE down the hall!

EXT. STUDIO - PARKING LOT - CONTINUOUS

Jesse enters the parking lot with Camilla. They head towardshis trailer, where Harold and the SIX MOMS await. Victorinstinctively runs out to meet him.

VICTORYou better get over there quick.Harold’s going heavy at the Redhead-

JESSE(tense)

This is Camilla, the newest memberof our cast.

Camilla and Victor greet.

JESSE(winks at Victor)

So tell the girls from MADD , that I won’t be joining them, for the bigcharity.

VICTOR(returns wink)

Sure thing Boss.

Jesse turns to Camilla.

JESSELemme show you the dressing rooms.

Jesse leads Camilla back inside.

16.

JESSE (CONT'D)


18/39

INT. STUDIO - CLASSROOMS - AFTERNOON

Aaron enters the room looking like a nervous wreck. He walksto the back row, where Kellen has a seat ready.

KELLEN

What up fam’. Did you send it?

AARONNot yet.

KELLENWhy not!

AARONMy, my phone is out of minutes!

KELLENWe gettin’ all this money, and you

ain’t got no minutes? Lemme see yo’phone!

Kellen SNATCHES it from Aaron. And quickly dials.

KELLENNo minutes my ass; dis bitch isringin’ ...

(to phone/proper voice)Hello? ... I’m calling from theshow, to inform you that your sonhas Herpes! ...

(Kellen’s voice)

In his ass, bitch! ...(proper voice)

Hold on, he’ll explain.

Kellen hands the phone over to a humiliated Aaron.

AARON(to phone)

Mom ...?

INT. CBC STUDIOS - DRESSING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Jesse is giving Camilla the grand tour.

CAMILLA You really care about people. Iadmire that about you.

JESSE(changes subject)

God, I miss central park.

17.


19/39

CAMILLA (ignores him)

My niece learned English from watching shows like Gilbert. You’repractically teaching kids English!

JESSELet’s just say. I have a love/haterelationship with my character.

CAMILLA You’re helping people learn. And you make them laugh. That takestalent.

JESSEYou remember when I was inGlengarry Glen Ross? That tooktalent.

CAMILLA Just be patient. You’ll get roleslike that again.

JESSEThere’s only one role I want toplay.

CAMILLA And what is that?

JESSE

It’s about this guy, who wants toinvite an old friend over fordinner.

They share a smile, and the same corny sense of humor.

CAMILLA Sounds interesting, what is hecooking?

JESSEYou’ll just have to come and see.

They share another smile and unspoken “yes”.

EXT. TRAILERS - CONTINUOUS

Harold is holding court with the Six Moms. Kellen approacheson his SKATEBOARD.

18.


20/39

REDHEADIs that Kellen Farmer? Mydaughter’s in love with him!

Harold looks intimidated. The Six Moms CROWD around Kellen.

HAROLDMy main man!

KELLEN(ignores Harold)

Wassup Ladies.

HAROLDNothing Kellen. Just giving thefans a backstage experience.

KELLENHarold’s the head writer. He writes

the magic.

Harold exhales. Kellen’s not be so bad after all.

KELLENThe only line we could never agreeon was, “Make it Happen”. But he’sa good sport about it.

Kellen playfully PUNCHES Harold for emphasis. Harold rollshis eyes.

HAROLD

Yeah, it’s actors like my main man,that make my job easier.

REDHEAD(to Kellen)

You gotta meet my daughter. She’sso in love with you!

HAROLDNo!- I mean, he has class!

KELLEN

No I don’t.HAROLD

And what would Greg say?

KELLENG would say I need the ball early and often!

Harold POUTS. The Six Moms start walking away.

19.


21/39

KELLENGo on Ladies. I’ll catch up withyou on my skateboard.

The Moms continue. Kellen turns to Harold.

KELLENLil’ Bitch!

Kellen TAKES OFF. Harold has a TEMPER TANTRUM.

INT. WRITER’S ROOM - DAY

Harold’s still FUMING. He’s knee deep in his FLASK, whenAaron enters.

AARONDo you have a minute?

Harold makes a half-hearted attempt to hide his flask.

HAROLDBusy.

AARONIt’ll only take a second. Kellen’s-

HAROLDI don’t wanna talk about Kellen!

AARON

But he’s making me do somethingreally bad!

HAROLD(devilish grin)

Then tell me everything, friend. Igot ya’ back.

Harold practically throws an arm around Aaron.

INT. DIVE BAR - EVENING

Jesse and Harold have their after work drinks.

HAROLDOh, how the tables have turned.

JESSEI smell a scheme cooking.

20.


22/39

HAROLDIt’s foolproof! You’re doing theBat-Mitzvah. So is Kellen. All yougotta do is bust him, when he takeshis little dick pic.

JESSEWhat the hell are you talkingabout?

HAROLDAaron’s in the contest too. Don’tknow, don’t care. The importantthing is that you bust Kellen. Andget that little brat fired!

JESSENo.

HAROLDYou in or you out? Right now!

JESSENo! ... Now you need to meet a real woman, who brings out the real you.Then your life won’t be about liesand schemes.

HAROLDWhat are you talking about?

JESSE

(eyes soften)I know the new actress. I knew herfrom New York. Back when I was motivated. She knew the real me.That was our connection. Not lies,not booze.

HAROLDAnd what about now, Jackass?

JESSEWhat about now?

HAROLDWhen was the last time you gotthrough a day without drinking?Huh? What about pills? Don’t get mestarted on all the escorts and-

JESSEOk. Alright. I get it!

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23/39

HAROLDYou’re not that dude anymore. Andthe harder you go at this girl, thequicker she’ll find out.

JESSE

I can change. The hardest step isadmitting it.

HAROLDThat’s for breaking addictions! Thehardest part of change, will bedoing it.

JESSEI talked about acting, long beforeit became my job.

HAROLD

Acting’s your passion! Talkingabout it motivates you. Same withBooze. But not change. People likeus don’t change.

Jesse rolls his eyes. What does Harold know?

INT. JESSE’S CONDO - LIVING ROOM - EVENING

Jesse’s place looks IMMACULATE. He has DINNER set up in frontof the couch, where Camilla and him rehearse.

CAMILLA Go on. Say it ... It’s funny!

JESSE(as Gilbert)

Where do babies come from?

CAMILLA (in character)

Well I’m glad you asked, my son-

JESSE

(changes subject)Let’s not rehearse! How do you likethe Chicken Alfredo? I haven’t lost my touch, right?

CAMILLA You were always the master chef.

Jesse looks deep into her eyes.

22.


24/39

CAMILLA I love your Corvette. Why don’t youdrive it?

JESSEIt’s a classic. I don’t drive it

very much.

Jesse looks into her eyes, more deliberately this time. Wehear a loud deliberate KNOCK at the door.

BECCA (O.S.)Open up! I know you’re in there!

JESSE(to Camilla)

One second.

Jesse RUSHES to the door. But wisely doesn’t open it.

BECCA (O.S.)I want my shit!

JESSE(to Camilla)

I gotta gather some things for aclothing drive. Be right back!

Jesse cringes and RUNS back to his bedroom.

BECCA (O.S.)I left lingerie.

(bangs door)And sex toys!

BEDROOM

Jesse quickly rounds up her THINGS. Of course it’s allraunchy. He finds a TOWEL and WRAPS it all up.

LIVING ROOM

Jesse quickly approaches the door. As he opens the door, thetowel UNRAVELS. Camilla notices the raunchy things.

JESSEIt’s some props I got stuck with,from a role I had.

Jesse barely OPENS the door. He TOSSES Becca her things.

JESSECall me!

23.


25/39

Jesse immediately SLAMS the door. And LOCKS it.

INT. JESSE’S CONDO - LATER

Jesse finally has peace and quiet. He looks over at Camilla.

JESSEI feel like today is the beginningof the rest of my life. I’ve neverfelt that way before.

CAMILLA I’m so glad you’re not someHollywood jerk. You know? The guy who wakes up to liquor, and pills,and strippers.

JESSE

I would die before I become thatguy ... Camilla, I have somethingto tell you ...

CAMILLA I have something to tell you too!Jesse, I ...

He feels like he can read her. He makes a MOVE. He passes thepoint of no return ...

CAMILLA ... Have a boyfriend back in New

York! You two should -

Jesse FALLS off the couch, as the words sink in.

Jesse looks up at Camilla from the floor. We haven’t thisside of him before. He’s genuinely CRUSHED.

END ACT II

24.


26/39

ACT III

EXT. TRENDY RESTAURANT - EVENING

Jesse and Harold have drinks in THE GROVE. This is a place

where everyone’s young and attractive, or old and successful.

JESSE(downs shot)

I gotta change and get Camilla!

HAROLDSome change. You’re still boozing.

JESSEIt’s not the drinking that’sgetting in the way. It’s theboyfriend.

HAROLDGive it up. He’s a stockbroker.

JESSESounds boring to me.

HAROLDSounds stable. How’s his credit?

JESSE... Good.

HAROLDDrinking problem?

JESSE... Drinks smoothies.

HAROLDWell that solves that. Just fix upthe Corvette. You’ll get all thepussy you want.

JESSE

It’s a classic. I don’t drive-HAROLD

Don’t use that line on me. Youdrove it into the goddamn ground!And now it has no engine!

JESSEI’m gonna get it fixed. And I’mgonna get Camilla!

25.


27/39

HAROLDI got real problems. Kellen wantsto sell “Make it Happen” T-Shirts.The nerve of that little prick!

JESSE

I didn’t come here to talk aboutthe goddamn show!

HAROLDAll you gotta do is reconsider.

JESSEI’m not getting involved a dick piccontest!

Heads turn at the mention of “dick pic.”

HAROLD

Hey! I listened to you whine abouta chick, who plays your Mom. Soundsdesperate, if you ask me.

JESSEIs that blunt honesty I hear? ...Kellen’s your slave-master. Andeverybody knows it!

HAROLDYou should set realistic goals.Like landing the role of Oedipus!

JESSEYou’re writing Barabbas!

HAROLDAnd?

JESSEYou don’t go from writing Gilbert,to Barabbas! An epic time piece, about the prisoner who gets sparedinstead of Jesus!

Heads turn at the mention “Jesus”!HAROLD

I was never writing it for you.You’re not good enough!

JESSEI was born to play Barabbas. Andyou damn well know it!

26.


28/39

A WAITRESS approaches with DRINKS.

WAITRESSGuys, here’s a couple drinks on thehouse. Now please keep it down.

Both men grab their drinks. Their feud immediatelydissipates. Jesse DOWNS his drink.

HAROLDTake it easy. You got the BatMitzvah.

JESSERelax. The easiest role to play, isa sober person.

HAROLDBut you’re dr-

CUT TO:

EXT. BEL AIR MANSION - EVENING

We hear tires SCREECH along the BEAUTIFUL CURVED DRIVEWAY!Jesse SKIDS over the ROSES that run adjacent to the driveway.

Off screen, we hear a loud beer BURP. Followed by the soundof a DOORBELL RINGING.

INT. BEL AIR MANSION - ENTRANCE - MOMENTS LATER

Jesse is greeted by a clean cut FATHER. And his pretty as canbe DAUGHTER (12).

FATHERWhere’s your costume?

JESSE(slurs)

Nobody said anything to me about acostume.

FATHERYou really think I’m paying you tojust hang around my daughter?

JESSEOh yeah, Happy Birthday Angel!

(rubs her hair)Enjoy it while it lasts.

27.


29/39

FATHERThis is her Bat Mitzvah. Not herbirthday!

JESSEOh? Neat. Where’s the bathroom?

Jesse really has to go. So he takes off! The Father SIGHS ...

INT. BEL AIR MANSION - HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER

We wait outside the bathroom with Greg. Jesse is STARTLED, ashe opens the door.

GREGI brought your costume. Luckily his wife does make up.

Greg hands Jesse a Gilbert GYM BAG. Jesse inhales, thenflashes a fake smile to the wholesome looking FAMILY.

EXT. BEL AIR MANSION - POOL - NIGHT

Jesse is in character, surrounded by 12-14 year old KIDS. Thekids feel no shame in cruelly taunting poor ole’ Gilbert.

A BOY (13) runs up to Gilbert.

BOYI heard somebody has a gun!

JESSE(as Gilbert)

Oh no! A gun!

We hear a BALLOON POP! Gilbert makes an exaggerated DIVE forcover! A boy runs up and KICKS Gilbert in the leg! Gilbert CONVULSES in an exaggerated display of pain!

Two BOYS (13) run up and draw WATER GUNS on Gilbert.

BOYS

Drive by!JESSE

(as Gilbert)I’m drowning! I’m drowning!

He’s working. And he’s miserable.

28.


30/39

INT. BEL AIR MANSION - LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Kellen and his POSSE (13-15) stand off to the side. TheDaughter and her FRIENDS (12) practically drool over him fromafar. She and her friends anxiously approach him.

FRIEND 1(re. Daughter)Can she have this dance?

She turns to the Daughter, and they both GIGGLE.

KELLENNot while I’m working baby. Disbiz’ness, not personal.

POSSE 1Aye yo, here he come!

Aaron enters. He approaches Kellen. The Posse STOPS him andPATS him down, before he can proceed.

KELLENThe whole crew sent dick pics. Weall waitin’ on you.

AARONSo, um, how was it?

KELLENWhat you wanna know dat fo’? Yougay? ... The question is, when are

you gon’ send yours?

AARONBut, but, there’s no where to go?

KELLENMan you betta go to the bathroomlike a Boss!

AARONYou think so?

KELLENI know so!

Kellen SHOOS Aaron away. Then he WINKS at his Posse.

KELLENDat foo’ thinks we all sent pics.Don’t he know I’m running on a noeffort platform, for these hoes.

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Kellen SLAPS hands with his Posse for emphasis.

INT. BEL AIR MANSION - KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER

Jesse’s on the phone, while FIXING a COCKTAIL. He constantly

looks around to see if someone’s coming.

JESSE(to phone)

Harold. I’m not getting involved inKellen’s contest ... No, I won’tthink about it! ... You need help,you know that?

INT. BEL AIR MANSION - LIBRARY - CONTINUOUS

Jesse drinks his cocktail. He finds comfort in this empty

room .... He hears FOOTSTEPS, and assumes it’s the Father.

JESSEFive more minutes!

Camilla enters. Jesse clutches his cocktail, speechless.

CAMILLA Are you drinking? On the job?

JESSEI can explain!

CAMILLA Don’t bother. People talk, Jesse. Isay “That’s not the Jesse Iremember.” And they say, “Awe! You must not know the real Jesse.”

JESSEThat’s just jealousy talking!

CAMILLA No! You must think I’m a fool. Youdon’t care about people. It’s all

lies and contradictions! You don’teven care about yourself!

Camilla STORMS off! And Jesse is left ALONE, with hiscocktail. And he wonders why.

INT. BEL AIR MANSION - DOWNSTAIRS BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

Kellen and his Posse lead Aaron inside.

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KELLENGet your ass in that shower anddon’t come out until the pic issent!

Aaron steps inside the shower.

KELLENI want ya’ll posted outside thisdoor. Show him no mercy if he triesto sneak out.

Kellen and his Posse exit.

HALLWAY

Kellen’s Posse HUDDLES around the door.

KELLEN

Tell him he came in last. Deadlast!

Kellen takes off.


Jesse approaches the bathroom. Feeling lower than he’s feltin a while.

POSSE 1What’s the password?

JESSEMove outta the goddamn way!

Jesse SHOVES the kid aside and enters.

INT. BEL AIR MANSION - BATHROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Jesse hears COMMOTION coming from the shower. Jesseapproaches and PULLS the shower curtains back.

JESSESon of a bitch!

Jesse BLOCKS our view of Aaron.

AARON (O.S.)It’s not my fault! It’s not myfault!

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JESSE(impressed)

Kid you’re going to be just fine.Now give me the phone. And zip upyour pants!

AARONI’m so sorry!

Aaron steps outside of the shower all zipped up.

JESSEWhat the hell were you thinking?

AARONKellen started being nice. It wasso much better than when he wasbeing mean.

JESSEHoly shit kid. You gotta learn tostick up for yourself!

AARONHow?

JESSEWell for starters. If you don’t wanna do something, then say “No”.

AARONCan you show me? I mean, you’re so

cool.

JESSEWhat the hell is cool about me?

AARONYou’re always with women from thestands.

JESSE(ashamed)

Yet I live alone. And I’m

struggling.AARON

You probably have this big bachelorpad!

JESSEYeah kinda- No! Just shut up andlisten kid! Now look in the mirror.

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He motions to the MIRROR. They stare together.

JESSEThis is who you don’t wanna belike. I hate my life and I’m goingno where! Except maybe rehab.

AARONBut you’re the best actor I know.

JESSEIf you wait long enough. Potential will turn into wasted talent ...Come on kid.

They turn towards the exit.

EXT. BEL AIR MANSION - POOL - CONTINUOUS

Greg is on the phone, while taking in the Bat Mitzvah.Everything seems to be in order.

GREG(to phone)

Harold. Slow down ... Kellen did what? ... Having a contest? ...Well thanks! I guess I have somebusiness to attend to!

Greg hangs up. He SCANS the room for Kellen and Aaron!

INT. BEL AIR MANSION - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Kellen and his Posse STORM through the living room.

KELLEN(to Posse)

No! I’m telling G! ... Jesse can’tjust shove you like that!

We see that Greg and Kellen are headed for each other.

GREGWhat’s this I hear about a contest?

KELLENWhat? What contest?

Kellen turns to his Posse for support.

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GREGDon’t play dumb with me. Tell methe truth!

KELLENLook G; Aaron’s been acting really

angry lately. He wanted to havethis contest; but I told him “No”.I tried to get him to stop. Iswear!

GREGTake it easy. Aaron’s obviously outof control. Now where is he?

KELLENI think he’s upstairs taking thepictures!

GREGOh my god! Think damage control!

Greg goes RED. We look closely, and see the SLIGHT SMIRK onKellen’s face.


Jesse and Aaron exit the bathroom. They are RUSHED by Gregand the others.

GREG

Tell me he didn’t send any pics?

JESSENo. Aaron’s fine. But I can’t speakfor the Golden Child .

GREGKellen’s fine too. But Jesse ...

(genuinely impressed)You saved us all from a disaster.

JESSE

I’m just doing what I do everyday.Jesse continues past Greg. Kellen and his Posse fearfullyPART, and we see ... Camilla. Smiling with approval!

CAMILLA That was a really good thing youdid. That’s the Jesse that I knew.

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JESSEThat’s the real me.

CAMILLA I truly hope so, Jesse.

They head back to the Bat Mitzvah, which is winding down. Wesee Jesse, like we haven’t seen him yet. He’s genuinely PROUD of himself.

EXT. BEL AIR MANSION - FRONT YARD - LATER

The Bat Mitzvah was a hit! Jesse shakes hands with thefamily. He has made new fans, whether he likes it or not.

Jesse and Camilla walk to their cars.

CAMILLA

You were already a great guy. Youdidn’t have to change.

JESSEI know that now. Somewhere alongthe way I must’ve forgot.

CAMILLA I really want to be friends. Ireally want to watch your careertake off.

JESSE

I would like that.

They hug. He would like so much more than that. He admiresher as she gets in her car.

He feels ILLUMINATED. Partly by her headlights, and partly byhis CONSCIOUS. For the first time in years, it’s at ease.

INT. JESSE’S CONDO - BEDROOM - LATER

Jesse’s dressed in sweat pants, ready for bed. His bedroom is

still IMMACULATE. He goes to his closet and slides the door.All kinds of RANDOM JUNK spills out!

A bottle of BOOZE rolls to his feet ... He picks it up and puts it back . He grabs a thermal and prepares for bed.

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EXT. CBC STUDIOS - PARKING LOT - MORNING

Jesse and Harold walk to the sound stage. Jesse’s as pale asa ghost, and COUGHS violently.

HAROLD

You look like shit. I thought yousaid you were changing? For thegirl?

JESSEI am. I haven’t had a drink in 19hours.

HAROLDJesse, how much were you drinking?

JESSEA lot I guess.

(coughs violently)

HAROLDGood luck brother.

JESSEI don’t need luck. I’m already agreat actor!

HAROLDI can’t believe that brat got away with everything!

They approach the glass sound stage doors. We see aREFLECTION of these two best friends. Both fighting for theirplace in the world.

We look closer at Jesse’s eyes, we notice a SPARK that wasn’tthere before ...

JESSEHarold, let it go. It’s showtime!

Jesse is DRIVEN. He opens the doors, and they enter.

END ACT III

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TAG

INT. CAMILLA’S APARTMENT - DAY

Jesse and Camilla sit on the couch, in her Echo Park

apartment. They are planning a picnic. A picnic basket liesin between them.

CAMILLA Fresh Cherries?

Jesse scans the picnic basket.

JESSECheck!

CAMILLA Red wine?

JESSECheck!

CAMILLA No. We shouldn’t bring wine.

JESSEIt’s fine.

CAMILLA No. We should bring coconut water.

Jesse grimaces.

JESSEYou’re such a good friend.

We hear a KNOCK at the door.

CAMILLA I’ll get the door. Can you get thecoconut water?

Jesse nods and goes to the Kitchen. He hears the door OPEN.

Followed by Camilla SCREAMING!Jesse RUNS to Camilla’s aid! But a clean cut MAN (35) isalready there.

CAMILLA Jesse, meet Trevor. This is myboyfriend!

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TREVORHi. I’m Trevor. She’s told me a lotabout you.

Jesse shakes Trevor’s hand. He digs deep and keeps hisbearing.

CAMILLA Trevor, what are you doing here?

TREVORI’m moving here! ... I’m moving toL.A.!

Camilla LEAPS into Trevor’s arms! She’s quite the FRISKY one.It’s obvious that she really misses her man.

We take this in with Jesse. He stiffens. He hasn’t seen thisside of her before.

Jesse gets DIZZY. He blocks out everything and everyone. Hecan only focus on one thing ...

The wine bottle. It lies in the picnic basket. And right now,it seems like Jesse’s best friend.

FADE TO BLACK.

END PILOT

38.

Gilbert Pilot

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Transcript of Gilbert Pilot