GET YOUR NAMEOFF YOUR SHIRT

Moving from IT Mechanic to IT Director or CIO

Elevating IT to a Professional Career

Welcome to Spice WORLD 2017

Hands – first spice world? Keep em up if it’s your First IT Conference?

Great - You have made a step in the right direction -- Con-grad-u-lations!

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I DON’T KNOW WHY THIS SLIDE WAS IN THE TEMPLATE

THEY MADE ME USE(MAYBE COOL ORANGE BACKGROUND & LOGO)

Hi back there

You have been to how many sessions – 4-5-6 already …..I bet you love Slideshows …. But it’s not really for you – it’s for ME!! I’ve never done this before – so we are going on a bit of an adventure together - To remember what I’m supposed to say.

Before I get to lost in storytime a preflight check to test the magic wand and the audience

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► I’m going to sit up here and be all nervous and sweat and spout a lot of nonsence.

Disjointed list of topics as bullet points

Then tell you how you can do it

Then go wash off the rotten vegetables, and drown your heckling in some beer and question my existence and future in IT.

Seriously though – I am nervous as hell blame Spiceworker Dana she talked me into it

Please do the review so I know why you left early

Quick Pre Flight Check

Powerpoint, the Bain of all that is meetings

You have been to how many sessions – 4-5-6 already …..I bet you love Slideshows …. But it’s not really for you – it’s for ME!! I’ve never done this before – so we are going on a bit of an adventure together - To remember what I’m supposed to say.

Good ol POWERPOINT [CLICK]

Making meetings great since 1990

OK .You all know how this works [CLICK] -- I Talk and the PowerPoint is here to provide visual aids and reinforce the discussion [CLICK]

I am going to strive to be constructive [CLICK] and provide valuable organized information [CLICK]

I may provide some motivational quotes, [CLICK]

then wish you a great conference and head off to the next session [CLICK]

Then you will get a chance to review the session in the app and provide feedback so I can

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come back next year

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Ask questions - Raise your hand anytime and a Mic will come to you

Stow electronic devices and bring seat back to full upright position

Or recline, nap, you can download this PPT later atZombieWrangler.info (Without all the witty quips)

Housekeeping

Chelsea is not here to help out so I get to do my own MC work

STAY EXCITED

Questions There might even be something in it for you

PLEASE Speak up with questions – I am partially deaf –not from server rooms, from my first SpiceWorld(Always wear a helmet when riding a motorcycle)Storytime

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On SpiceWorks for years

Alex Zielinski “ZombieWrangler”

IT Director

Bourland, Wall & Wenzel, P.C.

Some of you might already know me from 1. On the Air with HP Server vs. Cloud 2/142. Ctrl+Alt+Tech with Jeff “I know nothing” Snow - Nightmare on Tech St. 21043. HP Promo Video – Reliable server seeks IT - pro: Conference crashing SpiceWorld 20164. And another HP Promo Video – I just won a HP IT Makover!!

Yes, Really won, HP server cabinetYou can see the video on SW: https://community.spiceworks.com/topic/2011749-hpe-i-won-an-it-makeover

They Made me come back

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ON THE AIR w/HPe – Gen10 the Most Secure Servers for your business - Sep 27th

And most recently….

WHICH THEY HAVN’T REPOSED YET

https://community.spiceworks.com/spiceworks-tv/on-the-air

13 min of pre-show audio is up

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Don’t be fooled by the suit – I am just an IT PRO

You know WHO I am in the community, but not really WHAT I am and - since this is story time with ZombieWrangler I’m spilling my guts…it helps the process.

Attended College here in Austin. Worked my way through school in construction, mostly roofing some weekends, summers, vacations - HOT!

In that time I was the computer guy – fixed friends PCs “Distributed” software in early 90’s – Floppy disk mogul BBS writing scripts playing text-MUDS

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WOO Corporate JOB

Afterward I started working at American Airlines Helping integrate and train on this new thing called “Windows”,you know, the one with the foot pedal.

It surprised how many people were frustrated by this change, so I helped them. Wrote scripts and compiled apps to automate some of our tasks.

This was the best of times – Flew for free & Visited friends [CLICK]

Was fired in under 2 years, just after employee of the month

that’s when I realized I was not corporate underling material. I pretty much gave up

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Big Setback – Took years to figure it out again.

I went back to Construction – Still had the shirts with my name on them…

I was AL working for Tim’s Carpentry Service, Yep flannel shirt and all.

I still dabbled in PC’s lots of 386/486 machines friends and family had

Dial up AOL and eMail

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That’s right - Certifiable

I was Tired

ALL THE TIME ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Unitl 15 yrs ago, A lot of attitudes changed 9/11/2001I was hot, and sick of the shower when you got home Job – I wanted moreI wanted inside, insurance, 401k (it’s not just for breakfast) so I went to night school and got my first Microsoft certs.Got a cool IT job -Law Firm- I didn’t know anything about lawyers (save bad jokes)But I soon realized I was still a faceless servant– just with A/Cthey ring the bell and we come out of our hole and fixed stuff. That’s when I decided to get my own socks.

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I started asking questions…not just fixing things.

At that first firm I never saw management, and the IT Director barely saw them either

Only when we needed something did we approach them. I recognized that wasn’t right.

And that is [CLICK]

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WHY I AM HERE

And hopefully you too – you like you job and don’t want to hop around, you want to make IT a career – not a job

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WE ARE

Because we are superheros, without us companies fail and data is breached

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WE ARE

No way, you want to secure your position. No one likes changing jobs.

We are responsible for the data, the education, the migration

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So I came Back to SHARE And to make myself better too

I’m old now, I can tell you what I’ve learned in my years,

Maybe Prevent some mistakes for you and speed up your progression and better the Image of IT for the future

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But not many of us have business degrees. (I don’t)

Disclaimer: I am full of ideas, but they might not work in your environment

Use the ideas not the specifics.

You know Computers, Networks, Windows, HTML, SQL,

–Many of my tips you SHOULD already know and do, OrI may offer advice or ideas that would get you fired. [CLICK]

I don’t know your environment so don’t run home and call your boss with this list of changes. [CLICK]

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How many are in a 1-2-3 man IT shop / head of an IT department? Are you happy?

For in the next 42 min I’m going to try and offer help, advice, and/or sympathy

I will be showing you how my department runs and what I do everyday

…um… [CLICK]

OK maybe just some ideas to make your life easier and your managers like you more

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In Small Companies We have a lot of hats

Even after more than a decade I still move furniture. I still am keeper of the screwgun.

I work with the Coffee service, replace Toner and fill paper trays and order office supplies

Why is this relevant?

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Primarily we ARE a Construction Guy

More likeMechanic

or as I like to think CHIEF

ENGINEER

We build an maintain the company’s fleet of equipment [CLICK]

If it were a construction Company we would be mechanics, [CLICK]

but IT is tougher than that, you can’t always see a problem like leaky oil -- making us more like engineers[CLICK]

Better New James Doohan (RIP) or Simon Pegg? Hands for Simon?

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What should the Chief be doing on Race Day?

He should be sitting on his bench watching the race. Making notes on how to improve next time.

A colleague once told me this and It was another of those profound moments in my IT Journey – [CLICK]

Nascar fans know where is Chief engineer is…

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If you are running around on “race day” with a fire

extinguisher in a panic

You screwed up yesterday

Because, you should do IT yesterday

IT is about Planning, and working with management to prevent emergencies and to help the help-less

all in between your main job of making sure everything runs smoothly (AKA idiot-proofing)

and naps. Yeah IT Should include naps.

Why yesterday? Because you should already know what coming.

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I’m going to bring up some ideas, Not commandments, or traffic laws…..Guidelines.

(or just download the PPT pack from : Zombiewrangler.info)(There is stupid crap there to help you fall asleep too)

I can’t say this enough, but I think I have… Dam I must have had some Alzheimer's moments writing this

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THE EASY STUFF

First up some simple common sense items we all do, or should do, or at least should know about

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No Sugarcoating it – we see a lot of

Sorry, that’s crude

HONESTY

CRAP

We know The internet is not a happy place full of sunshine lollipops and rainbows and unicorns

It’s a dark seedy alley where someone calls you in the middle of the night to tell you your PC is starting a global thermonuclear war and you have to give him 3.14 bitcoins or he’ll let the spiders loose kill your pet unicorn.

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Right off the bat,

This is an invisible thankless profession and you have to deal with defeat every day from many angles.

Are You Offendable?

I’m sorry, leave now, or put it in my session review maybe I won’t have to do this crap again next year.

I am going to tell it like it is, there are some thoughts and words that I’m not supposed to say out loud, but we know it.

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Get a Hobby

Why is this important? We spend all day pleasing others. And sometimes the job can’t be completed. Need time for ourselves to accomplish something

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They know nothing – about IT unless it’s on the facebooks or twittered by a celebrity

Backup your Facts With Figures

And remember they are not stupid, just educated differently

Honesty is also about Education

Part of our job is making execs aware of the real issues

You can’t be afraid of opening Pandors’s box. If you don’t bring it up and something is discovered you are the first person they come to asking the why…

Start a signature disclaimer block for confidential Security emails. Make another mailbox for security issues. Yes whole other mailbox

Subscribe to newsletters

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GET IT IN

WRITING

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Use Email

Use SpiceWorks

Use Purchase Orders

Promotes Honesty - Transparency

Talking is easy & Fast but can’t be backed up

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Make the opening sentence what you need to convey –“We need a new Laptop for Chelsea”

Because execs want the “what”

More than they want the “how”

Or the “why”, then they want “cost”

Put your nerdy-wordy Descriptions at the bottom, include a Easter egg:“Hersheys chocolate nugget bowl in IT room just refilled”

SPEAKING OF EMAIL

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How do you get that stuff ? DOCUMENTATION

My #1 IT tool is: Spiceworks (they paid me to say that)

Really though, if you don’t have another IT ticketing system –use this. Install it on a leftover windows XP workstation, no, 7, I mean, 8, 10, Whatever you have.

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Why Submit a Ticket

I do them mostly myself, after every call. It’s like

the captains log…. stardate…8675309

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IT is all about documentation

Once you have 17 tickets that sally has downloaded another pop-up launcher

The reports and will help you prove she needs training in social engineering

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Keep a Big Red Binder

Start with simple documentation

Use Tabs

Make 3 copies: You, Boss, and a DR copy @ managers home.

Seriously Management loves that crap

Start with simple things, Pictures of your rack, label machines. IP addresses, server key roles.

Add simple procedures – account lockout/PW Reset Order to turn machines OFF and ON

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Vendor Relationship Management

Get to know someone at Dell, HP, your software companies, copier dealer, etc… make a list of vendors, use SW or Excel.

PUT IT IN THE BINDER

These green guys – marketers- that are roaming around here, they have come to learn how you think and to get you what

you need (that they offer).They are awesome sources for information, and will sacrifice a chicken if they will get a

chance at a sale.

Who to call in an emergency with system X

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Be Honest with Vendors

► “I have a problem and am looking for solutions, I called Dell first and they are our primary vendor, but I don’t want them to be my only source. what do you think? Do you have something else I may be able to propose to address this issue.”

They want to offer you alternatives, but they also don’t want to sell you something that won’t work for you, because it comes back on them badly.

….This brings up the social nature of this job…..[CLICK]

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Be Social – it may be work, but you are at work

Many of us are introverts, it comes with our superior intelligence.

But to be successful you have to broaden your social circle a little.

Work is never easy, and this part is very challenging.

Gather a list of management and their birthdays (I keep a social spreadsheet)

Get their spouses name and professions

Write down kid’s names, ages & activities (How is Timmy's baseball season going)

Gives you small talk to pull conversations out of bad directions, cover awkward silences.

These people don’t have to be friends, but be friendly

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Want some Candy?(Personality test for users)

The candy bowl is a great indicator of personality, and how users and execs like to be treated

It’s Halloween time STOCK UP NOWPut it by your door one step into your officeKeep it in sight, wait for your prey Sneak in grab a nibble, and run awayPick through the bowl and find just the right pieceSome may actually ask for candyCome in and fake being cordial then grab candy and retreat

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SUIT UP(Lawyerflage)

IT needs to be taken seriously.

IT is becoming as complex as medicine or the Law, and as representatives of the industry it’s going to take all of us to elevate us out of mechanic land.

Let me take a serious moment – MENTIONED IT EARLIER when you walked in and saw me in the suit - it lent me credibility

It’s discrimination but we need to work with it Ladies – you too

Get a Sport coat and wear it to work.

Put a hanger on your door or cubicle and keep one around for meetings and vendor interactions

Brown, Blue, Black, Corduroy, I even wear one on jeans day or with a Polo, it will improve your image.

Goodwill has great deals on suit coats

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That’s Easy Stuff, Let’s go a Little Deeper

This is where the real WORK goes into IT – If you are content being a great IT GNOME, now is the time get out your phones and start flaming me on FaceBook

When you really want to invoke change in an organization you have to really dig in

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BUDGET

(There I said it, the dreaded “B” word)

Face it, Executives like Dollar $igns yo!

We could spend hours discussing cost estimates,

ROI, future value, need assessment, but at the least

know your limits.

What do I mean by limits –

Find out how Accounting classifies expenses – and what is budgeted in those categories(Account codes, Categories, Departments, etc…)

Submit invoices with a coversheet Pre-classified into the correct category with a description

Estimate expenditures for best case and emergency scenarios.

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PO’s are PIA

Make Yourself a short form, list the account codes and include a space for support ticket number.

Print 20-30 and keep in a drawer

Look for little steps that can make other’s jobs easier

Submit invoices with a coversheet Pre-classified into the correct category with a description

I sometimes make invoices for things that renew online or on the phone with a Bill coming after authorization.

Estimate expenditures for best case and emergency scenarios.

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Recurring Expenses

Keep a spreadsheet of regular renewals, Hardware Maintenance, Software Subscriptions, Software

Assurance, etc..

Send them a monthly email with items due this month

Include a look ahead 2-3 months

You can now say I told you “yesterday”

Find out who pays the bills (you should know)

Email them (Billing/Management) every month

What is Due this month with amount and due date and short description of item and the need/role it fulfills

What is coming due next month with amounts

List of items to Look forward to - 3 months out

Ask if you need a meeting to discuss the item or review competitors for a new solution

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This is where I think I have the best company in town. I can call a meeting on a topic.

Me, the IT guy, can summon senior management and shareholders to address a topic

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Don’t wait to be called and asked about an issue

When there is an issue, write and submit an incident report, or issue log entry- What happened- What did it happen- What can I do to prevent it happening again

DO NOT BECOME THE HARBRINGER OF DOOM

You are ITYou know there are problems

You know what needs to happenOnly you can prevent forest fires

(which is good cause I’m busy)

I have a “Incidint Report Form” anytime something escalated to more than one person, I spend time writing it up and submit to my Tech committee

Meetings are what happens when we have issues… I don’t have issues I Have SUBSCRIPTIPONS

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I Regularly have 2 kinds of meetings.

GOOD MEETINGS BAD MEETINGS

no

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I Regularly have 2 kinds of meetings.

Preaching to the Chior

Sentencing Hearings

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Heh, mmm

O, HelloNothing to see here

G.U.S.S. is sorryHere is your slide

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I Regularly have 2 kinds of meetings.

OPS BRIEFINGS IT COMMITTEE

Sorry about these next slides – they are the hardest to make light.

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OPS BRIEFINGS No Agenda, but use a consistent format.Did – Doing – Need to Do – Might come up

► Weekly short discussions

► Just me and direct supervisor

► Problems faced, issues corrected this week, what I learned, needs

► Upcoming, pending issues, training suggestions, projects

► What I’m doing next week

- Here are all the IT invoices for the week (With cover sheets)- I need to order 2 keyboards, Suzy Spilled and Allen got Angry and split his over his

knee- Darla’s monitor died, I replaced it with an old one and it works, but the resolution is

not as good and she will be complaining next week.- Marc complained his outlook was slow and he told me I could delete some old email I

removed 61,932 office-wide emails about cake and cookies in breakroom going back to 2004.

- @!)(#%& Windows updates need me to reboot system in server room again. Are we ok for 15 min downtime at 630p Wednesday?

- Anything you need me to do this/next week?

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IT COMMITTEE

ASK About starting in IT Committee. Propose who you think would be helpful and why. Have a firm agenda of what to talk about and the decision(s)

you need to move forward.

► 4-12 times a year, hour long, over lunch (provide lunch)

► Managing member of multiple departments and involved parties

► Discuss BIG PICTURE items, research in to problems/solutions, directives from management on where to spend time resources

► Budgets for next year(s)

Our contract with the internet service provider NTNT will be running out in May 2018. We have been regularly maxing out bandwidth (Graph) causing slowdowns. We need to come up with a plan to make everyone happier. Options are:

Option 1 – Buy more bandwidth - Maybe they installed fiber to your building – or can we find cost of running it.

Option 2 – Move some services to cloud servers so traffic doesn’t all go through our ISP connection

Option 3 – Get a firewall that blocks personal employee web access, prevent streaming and youTube

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Written Proposals

Executive Brief

- Summarize the Need

- Budget for this item

- Cost of proposed solution

- How it fills need now and for the future - Why

- Following pages = details

Not that kind – but close

By the time you are this far you should have cleared all the decision hurdles in committee meetings.

This is the final solution to the problem

Sometimes this is a short process, sometimes a long one

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STAMP OF APPROVAL

No one cared & allowed renewal of lease for 9 years without comparison.

Didn’t want to change, whatever the cost.

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MY 2018 IT COMMITTEE AGENDA – POLICIES

I want to have a Password Policy so I can force people to lock their mobile devices and not have 12121212 as their login.

Started with old policy list and compared to an online resource

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DELEGATE

To get the big-picture stuff don’t you can’t always be the fireman.

If it’s just you -schedule time to focus, late one day

Jeff @ SW and I were talking about this. Big projects take time

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THE BOTTOM LINE

Budget

► Organized lists of:

o Known expenses

o Vendors

o Accounting categories

o Contracts and renewal dates

Management does not want to deal with IT stuff, if you can show them a few things you can do your job mostly in peace.

Planned interactions

► Regular status briefings

► IT Committee with periodic strategic planning meetings

► Organized lists of:

o Known expenses

o Vendors

o Accounting categories

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ANY QUESTIONS?

That’s me !!

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THANK YOU!

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