May-June 2014

Generations Working Together

Survey Reveals NextGen Members’ Perspectives

Experts Offer Ideas for Increased Understanding & Cooperation

ALSO IN THIS ISSUE

Business and Financial Management Tips

New Funeral Rule Legislation Introduced

Generations Working Together2 NextGen Survey Reveals Generational Attitudes

4 Marguerite Ham: The Keys to Better Compatibility

7 Lacy Robinson: Cooperation Requires Proactive Support

Business and Financial Management14 John Schmitz: Management Comparative Program

16 Jake Johnson: Rising Business Valuations Bring Opportunity

Also in This Issue10 Best Practices Competition to Award an iPad Air

10 Schedule of Upcoming Selected Meetings

11 Selected Leadership Academy Class News

11 Members Choose Maui for 2015 NextGen Seminar

11 NextGen Professional of the Year Nominations Now Open

12 Selected Officers for 2014-15 Announced

13 Sarah Pojanowski: State Funeral Director Law Upheld, New Funeral Rule Legislation Introduced

19 New Selected Resources Brochure Addresses Suicide

23 Educational Trust News

Our Membership20 Member Profile: John C. “Jay” Carmon Jr.

22 Member News

Our Preferred Partners6 C & J Financial, LLC

18 Johnson Consulting Group

24 Directors’ Choice

25 Southland Medical Corporation

Back Cover Aurora Casket Company

Board of DirectorsLance C. Larkin, PresidentSalt Lake City, UT, Group 6801-363-5781llarkin@larkincares.com

W. Bruce Tannahill, Secretary-TreasurerOwen Sound, ON, Group 1519-376-3710wbt@tannahill.com

R. Bradley Speaks, President-ElectIndependence, MO, Group 4816-252-7900brad.speaks@speakschapel.com

James H. Busch, Secretary-Treasurer-ElectCleveland, OH, Group 2216-741-7700jhbusch@buschfuneral.com

Mark T. HigginsDurham, NC, Group 3919-688-6387mhiggins@hallwynne.com

J MitchellKilgore, TX, Group 5903-984-2525jmitchell@raderfuneralhome.com

Adam B. Robinson Jr., Ex Officio Pine Bluff, AR, Group 5870-534-3131ralphjr@seark.net

Executive DirectorRobert J. PaterkiewiczDeerfield, IL1-800-323-4219robp@selectedfuneralhomes.org

May-June 2014

selectedfuneralhomes.org

©2014 Selected Independent Funeral Homes

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The BulletinVolume 97, Number 3The Bulletin (ISSN 1533-7197)is published bimonthly by Selected Independent Funeral Homes, 500 Lake Cook Rd., Suite 205, Deerfield, IL 60015 Periodical postage paid at Deerfield, IL.

Toll-Free: 1-800-323-4219 Local: 847-236-9401 Fax: 847-236-9968

POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: The Bulletin, Selected Independent Funeral Homes, 500 Lake Cook Rd., Suite 205, Deerfield, IL 60015.

Contributions relative to the funeral service profession and to the activities of the members of this organization are solicited. Address all correspondence to the above address or to info@selectedfuneralhomes.org.

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too many owners and supervisors fail to take steps to bring out the very best in their staff.

I always am amazed when I hear of owners who share too little operations information with their staff or have no written performance expectations or even job descriptions! They expect employees to simply do as they do, and then they wonder why they have internal conflicts or poor staff performance. Today’s multi-generational mix in the workplace demands a higher level of management and leadership from the top.

In this issue, we offer helpful insights to owners and managers who supervise younger staff. Be sure to read the in-depth articles for the results of a recent survey conducted within our own NextGen membership, with accounts of both good and poor practices. We also shed light on ways to get the very best from your younger staff by creating a cooperative working environment where all generations feel that they matter and are making a difference.

As you read the survey responses and the advice of our contributing experts Marguerite Ham and Lacy Robinson, you’ll quickly see that many of these management components are directly related to human needs; there’s no magic here. Your role in ensuring continued success for your firm can be much easier if you take the necessary steps to ensure your staff team understand their roles, so they know what’s expected of them, have the right materials and resources to perform at 100 percent of their capability, and are given genuine opportunities to grow and develop within the firm.

Dive in to this issue, and let us know what you think. Do you agree or disagree? We always want to hear from you, and we encourage continued conversation in the Forum at Selected, online at selectedfuneralhomes.org/forum and by email at general-forum@sifh.org. s

By Rob Paterkiewicz, Executive Director

What is your funeral home’s number one asset? Your staff, of course! Their salaries and benefits are likely your largest business expense; but that’s okay, they should be. Without your staff, you would be working alone, and there is no way your funeral business could survive, let alone thrive.

I’m sure there are times, though, when you feel the only way things will get done is for you to do them yourself. Luckily, this issue of The Bulletin provides some personnel and financial management insights that can help you ensure that your staff works together as a team and your business succeeds.

Data from nearly 200 Selected firms participating in last year’s Management Comparative shows more than $200 million was spent on personnel costs in 2012. The data also shows that, on average, nearly 45 percent of a typical firm’s total expenses were personnel costs. And while that is indeed a lot, there are plenty of companies out there where that amount is well above 50 percent. So, do you know what your percentage is?

In this issue, John Schmitz, CPA, discusses the Management Comparative Program and the expanded version utilized by Selected Study Groups [See page 14]. The information you can derive from these programs is crucial for your business. Participating in this year’s Management Comparative Program will ensure you have access to numerous data points about your operation. You’ll be able to see where your firm stands in comparison to Selected members of similar case volume size, geographic location and population density. And, there is no cost for you to gain this knowledge, other than taking time to provide your numbers. Make sure you take advantage of this member benefit.

There is so much more to personnel than the costs, especially when you consider that engaged, happy and knowledgeable employees are often the very best asset your firm offers to the families you serve. Yet,

SELECTED VIEWS

Effective Business Management Means Providing Leadership For Your Staff

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NextGen Survey Reveals Generational Attitudes, Both Good and Bad, Impacting Funeral Operations

GENERATIONS WORKING TOGETHER

An important area of focus for Selected’s strategic plan is helping funeral home owners and managers recognize the value of their upcoming staff—encouraging personal growth, ensuring the future success of the business and best serving client families. The association’s NextGen program actively encourages younger members to participate in events and activities specifically created for them as well as all aspects of membership.

Selected recently polled its NextGen members to learn more about the issues that hinder cooperation between generations working in the same firm. In this article, we share the key findings of that survey in an effort to help members better understand this critical issue and to stimulate discussion about how both management and employees can work together to bridge the generation gaps, enhance their

business operations and better serve their communities. On the following pages, we also share insights and suggestions from experts on the dynamics of the multi-generational workplace.

Do you have a clear understanding of the job responsibilities expected of you by your supervisor?

Nearly 87 percent of NextGen respondents answered yes to this question which is very encouraging. However, the survey revealed the manner in which some employees receive their job descriptions needs improvement. Common responses referred to the passing of company expectations verbally with “trickle down” from older staff and little formal or written instruction. Several respondents

sought better understanding of their role and more formal employee reviews.

Have you experienced disrespect or non-productive behavior?

Some respondents indicated receiving conflicting directions which put them in an awkward position. Others commented on micromanagement by supervisors and seeming lack of trust. A common theme was facing an attitude of “that’s the way it’s always been done” or refusal to try something new. Some were frustrated with always having to do undesirable tasks.

On the other hand, there were indications that one of the values of a small, family-owned firm is having a closer sense of working together with mutual respect.

“In my situation, I’m trying not only to manage our people and facilities but also the relationships between younger and older

33.33%NO

86.67%YES

Understand Job Responsibilities?

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How would you prefer to be rewarded for exceptional work?

Respondents noted the importance of recognition from owners and supervisors as an important morale booster and validation of a job well done. Preferences ranged from a bonus or monetary reward, to movie tickets or a gift card, to an extra day away from work.

Do you feel you are well informed about the operational performance of your firm?

Almost 78 percent answered positively. And when asked for examples of how this information is shared, responses typically cited formal meetings. However, some respondents revealed the desire to see more of the operational numbers and to have more openness about the financial stability of the funeral home.

Selected thanks all the NextGen members who took the time to share their experiences through this survey and directly with The Bulletin. Now that some of the issues have been presented, please continue reading to get feedback from noted experts and gain ideas for strengthening cooperation between the generations. s

Visit selectedfuneralhomes.org/programs/nextgen to learn about Selected’s NextGen opportunities.

employees,” Grant Bolt, CFSP, General Manager of Milward Funeral Directors, Lexington, KY, told the The Bulletin. “I try to encourage and show the positives of moving forward and thinking outside the box. But it’s also important to show respect for our history and that not all evolution is good. We have to be selective and confident in decisions we make.

“In terms of enhancing the relationships between the generations, I feel a lot of this is each person’s responsibility. It’s my job to share ideas about how we can best succeed operationally and then find ways to help people relate to them. But each generation must want to cooperate in order to show each other, as well as the community we serve, that we all are on the same page.”

Helen Loring Dear, Vice President of Porter Loring Mortuaries, San Antonio, TX, shared with The Bulletin, “It’s been a challenge to change the mindset of some coworkers from still seeing me as a baby to where I am today in the firm. Many were here when I was born, and they were my mentors growing up, so it’s been hard.”

Do you feel you can share a complaint or suggestion with your supervisor and be taken seriously?

The vast majority of answers were positive, indicating that many respondents have open communication with their supervisors to present and discuss ideas for improvement. Although some ideas may not get implemented, respondents appreciate that they are considered. However, there also was indication that the process can be lengthy or that other employees can be uncooperative.

Which projects, changes or suggestions have met with resistance from senior staff?

Responses included more formalized practices, more training and expanding the business into new areas such as pet services. But the overwhelming number of responses involved technology.

“We have four generations represented in our firm,” added Helen Loring Dear. “For the most part, we all work very well together. But a big challenge is use of technology. We provide support for those who need it. And when it comes to communication, we try to embrace all forms in order to accommodate the preferences of each generation.”

“The ability to adapt and incorporate the technology that is available into our work life can certainly be seen as a generational issue,” said Kevin Schoedinger of Schoedinger Funeral & Cremation Services, Columbus, OH. “Smartphones, tablets and WiFi are changing the way we all do business, but not everyone is ready to embrace that change.”

What do you wish you could change about your job to improve your performance or benefit your firm?

Responses included: Better understanding of what is expected of me. More opportunity for professional education. Better employee recognition. More understanding of new trends. More communication and follow-through on projects.

“...a lot of this is each person’s responsibility... each generation must want to cooperate in order to show each other, as well as the community we serve, that we all are on the same page.”

22.22%NO

77.78%YES

Well Informed?

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Marguerite Ham is an author, corporate trainer and executive coach in the areas of memory enhancement, leadership development and generational dynamics through her company, Igniting Success. She also is Dean of the Selected Leadership Academy. She reviewed the NextGen survey [Pages 2-3] and shared her thoughts aboutmulti-generational compatibility.

What do you feel is the key to creating better generational relationships in the workplace?

“I think it ultimately comes down to patience and understanding. One of the greatest challenges we face in our society today is that we always are focused on the next thing—the next item on our to-do list, the next task, the next client family to be served. And the funeral service profession is all about putting out fires and responding to the needs and emergencies of the families being served.

“We all tend to think, speak and react according to our own filters that are driven by our upbringing, the life experiences we’ve had and our personality characteristics. Having the patience to step back and understand that others—especially those who grew up in another generation—have learned and experienced significantly different things is a crucial part of better generational relations.”

How does the family aspect affect this situation?

“When you have multiple generations of the same family working together, you have personal dynamics interacting with professional dynamics. I work with many different organizations and industries, and I have definitely seen a difference in family-owned businesses. When you work with a family member, you know things about each other that can be irritating. We tend to be less patient with our own family members.

“It’s not uncommon for people to have more tolerance with strangers than they do with family members. That’s why the need for patience is so important. Taking the time to put aside preconceived notions or past history

Patience, Understanding and Communication are Keys to Better Generational Compatibility

GENERATIONS WORKING TOGETHER

with a person is a key step that allows you to focus on what the other person really brings to the table and offers the business. It also allows you to concentrate on what you can learn from this person through their unique life experiences and perspective.”

How can the generations develop more understanding and respect for each other?

“There are several dynamics affecting generational interaction in the workplace, which the NextGen survey begins to reveal. We need to recognize them, if we want to begin to foster understanding and respect. First, there are trends that affect each generation specifically. For example, most Baby Boomers raised their Gen X and Millennial children as friends, not with the autocratic style of Matures. So, many in the younger generations dig in their heels at rigid directives or perceived disrespect, because they’re just not used to it.

“Then there’s technology which has literally changed the way we do business. But at the top of the list is what generational expert Cam Marston calls the Generation Repetition Model. In his book, Motivating the ‘What’s In It For Me’ Workforce: Manage Across the Generational Divide and Increase Profits, he explains that each generation assumes that the following one wants the same things they wanted and shares the same definition of success. Further, each generation believes the following one should ‘pay their dues’ the same way they did to earn that success. And each generation usually thinks the following one has it easier than they did.

“So we find ourselves making judgments of the younger generations based on our own history and experiences, thinking the world is exactly the same for them as it has been for us. If we take a more collaborative approach, engage younger staff in open conversations and give and honest feedback more often; we will come to better understand their motivations and instill more accountability. Instead of telling them what we think they should do, we need to ask questions that help them discover what they think they should do.”

Marguerite Ham

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What is your advice for better communication of job requirements and expectations?

“One of the things I have learned is that there actually are two parts to establishing expectations. The first is called the job description which is designed to outline the specific tasks and processes for which an employee is responsible. The second part is the role description. Many people use these two terms interchangeably, but they really have different meanings and purposes.

“The first focuses on what the job is, and the second explains why the job is important. The role describes the employee’s place in the organization and how he or she works with other employees, other departments and client families. It also can describe how an employee’s work affects the company’s bottom line.

“For example, a firm’s receptionist may have the job description of answering the phone, connecting families with arrangers and the caregiving team, making cookies, setting the alarm when closing up the building, etc. But the role description for that receptionist is to set the tone for the entire business, because he or she is one of the first members of the staff a family interacts with. The receptionist not only greets people but makes them feel safe and important.

“Millennials are particularly interested in their job role. They want to know they are making a difference

to client families, to the business and to the world. If we don’t take the time to formally define job and role descriptions and explain them properly, we run the risk of disconnecting Millennials and losing them.”

How should we approach coaching and supervising each generation?

“When coaching Matures or giving them feedback, it needs to be done face-to-face, not by email or phone. Always begin by connecting with them on a personal level. Ask about their family or recent personal events before bringing up the subject at hand. Offer feedback that taps into their experience and wisdom. If you do that, they’ll feel valued and be on board.

“Boomers are a very positive group, so you want to tap into that and begin by offering positive affirmations before broaching a subject. Many may prefer a phone call or email. Their identity is wrapped up very closely in their job and career, so you have to be careful how you present critical feedback, so it’s not taken as a personal attack.

“Gen Xers tend to be a cynical group and need proof before they will accept something. They take direction and feedback better from people they trust, otherwise they’ll often dismiss it. They also are very

Understanding the Four Generations in Today’s WorkplaceGeneration Work Ethic Motivators Top Five Managerial Actions

Matures • Timeliness • Accomplishment • Offer plenty of personal interaction; ask and listen.Born 1922-1945* • Productivity • Control • Provide clear, written goals and expectations. Size 30 million • Responsibility • Show respect for age and experience. 5% of workforce • Be totally honest and candid. • Provide plenty of technology training.

Baby Boomers • Workaholic • Money • Show you care.Born 1946-1964* • Actual time • Plaques & trophies • Give frequent recognition. Size 80 million • Control • Treat them as equals; Coach, don’t direct. 45% of workforce • Promotion • Give them a chance to talk. • Be totally honest, candid and direct.

Gen Xers • Get it done • Bonuses • Provide a fun workplace.Born1965-1980* • Recognition • Use written goals. Size 45 million • Time off • Involve in teams. 40% in workforce • Training • Be truthful and direct. • Meeting personal • Allow separation of career and personal life. objectives

Millennials • Personal • Mentoring • Give frequent, instant feedback and keep energy level high.Born 1981-2000* Fulfillment • Recognition • Communicate with graphics, bullet points when possible. Size 75 million • Time off • Offer them multi-tasking projects. 10% in workforce • Training • Provide close supervision. • Meeting personal • Provide training in people skills. objectives Courtesy of Igniting Success*Time frame is approximate.

Concludes on page 6

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GENERATIONS WORKING TOGETHER

detail-oriented and efficient. They want to know their job expectations very clearly before they set out. Nothing can be assumed, and any changes need to be spelled out to them.

“Millennials are struggling right now in the workplace. They are an optimistic group like the Boomers, but they are learning accountability through the school of hard knocks. The best way to connect with them is to acknowledge their individuality. You must also give them frequent and immediate feedback. Waiting for an annual performance review will not work.”

How closely can generational characteristics be determined by age?

“The birth years shown in the chart of the four generations [See page 5.] give the approximate span of each group. The divisions are broad but useful in establishing distinct generational trends and characteristics. Many individuals can exhibit traits more commonly associated with a different generational group. We also have found that people

raised in rural farming communities quite often act more like the generation before them.

“If you think you know how to interact with, coach and lead a person based on their age—and they are not responding—questions like the following can help you determine their communication preferences, individual values and personal motivations: How do you prefer to communicate—in-person, phone, email, text or social media? What computer operating system are you running? Who are your role models and heroes?

“Finally, I’d like to offer an eight-point process for effectively communicating with any generation [Shown above]. I think this really sums it all up.” s

Marguerite Ham, from page 5

Communicating with Any Generation

1. Take time.2. Ask what they think.3. Be caring.4. Get agreement that a problem exists.5. Determine what needs to be done.6. Negotiate if necessary.7. Communicate expectations and goals.8. Put expectations and goals in writing.

Courtesy of Igniting Success

INSURANCE ASSIGNMENTS HAVE YOU IN A TIZZY?

“C&J Financial has been a great partner. Their customer service is great to work

with and most importantly, payment comes fast. I would highly recommend

C&J to others.”

Laurens Fish III, President Weed-Corley-Fish Funeral Homes

INSURANCE ASSIGNMENTS HAVE YOU IN A TIZZY?

“C&J Financial has been a great partner. Their customer service is great to work

with and most importantly, payment comes fast. I would highly recommend

C&J to others.”

Laurens Fish III, President Weed-Corley-Fish Funeral Homes

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Lacy Robinson, CFSP, is Director of Professional Development for Aurora Casket Company. She is a licensed funeral director and embalmer and regularly presents continuing education programs on the local, state and national levels for funeral service organizations.

What concerns you most about the dynamics between multiple generations in the workplace?

“The most concerning issue is the lack of understanding for each generation. There is a tendency to focus on generational differences and not take the time to learn each individual’s strengths and leverage those strengths for the good of the organization.

“I think it’s helpful for people to do their own research on generational traits. There are many books and online resources available. An expert on all four generations working together is Haydn Shaw at mygenerationalcoach.com. He has outlined 11 generational differences, also known as points of friction. They are training,

Generational Cooperation Requires Proactive Support

respect, image and appearance, feedback, communication, loyalty, policies, meetings, fun at work, work ethic and decision making. Each generation has its own, unique view and approach to these differences, influenced by their individual life experiences.

“One of the goals of a multi-generational team should be knowledge transfer. It’s important for the younger generations to put aside their preconceived notions about older supervisors, ask probing questions and then listen and absorb as much information as they can. Older generations possess a great deal of knowledge and experience to pass on to future leaders. It also is crucial that senior staff look past their assumptions or annoyances to coach and mentor junior members. Millennials, in particular, crave guidance and opportunities for collaboration.

“Unfortunately, it’s not high on every manager’s list to get everyone together working effectively. Rather, the focus tends to be entirely on serving families. That, of course, should be the priority, but if employees are dissatisfied, and things aren’t working smoothly behind the scenes; families can pick up on that vibe, and it can impact their overall satisfaction.”

Why are regular employee performance reviews important?

“Performance reviews are crucial to helping employees develop their skill set and achieve job satisfaction, while allowing

Lacy Robinson

GENERATIONS WORKING TOGETHER

employers to ensure that goals and expectations are being met. Many Gen Xers grew up receiving little feedback and attention. It’s not uncommon for them to feel uncomfortable asking for feedback. Taking the initiative through performance reviews will aide in helping them feel they are valued team members.

“Regular reviews also are important for Millennials who grew up receiving constant feedback and attention. They may mistake silence for disapproval. Millennials want to improve their skill set, and they want learning opportunities. Regular performance reviews allow the employer and employee to focus on those opportunities and establish an action plan.

“Employees also can be asked what they would like to add to their job descriptions, or they can be observed for special skills and interests that can benefit the firm or add a new dimension to service. This is a great way to encourage enthusiasm and help staff contribute to the success of the firm.

“For example, when I first began working at a funeral home, the manager observed that I loved visitations and gravitated toward senior adults. Through the course of conversations, she learned I love polka music and am a fan of Lawrence Welk, with a large collection of memorabilia. She saw this as an opportunity, and

Continues on page 8

Read Haydn Shaw’s article on Huffington Post titled “This Is How to Get Along Better With Your Multigenerational Coworkers” at huffingtonpost.com/haydn-shaw/intergenerational-relationships_b_3976204.html.

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I ultimately started visiting senior citizen centers, nursing homes and retirement villages presenting a free music show featuring my memorabilia and sponsored by the funeral home. The point is, the manager might have hired me based on a static job description, but she was observant and creative. She found a way that everyone could benefit from my particular interests and skills.”

How do you advise dealing with issues of trust and respect?

“When an employee of any age feels there is a lack of trust from their supervisor, it’s important for them to first take some time for self awareness. The employee may feel they are doing everything right, but there might be something in their workplace behavior that is fueling the issue. It also may be necessary for them to initiate a conversation with the supervisor to make sure expectations are fully understood and that there are no assumptions. Keeping the lines of communication open can help minimize conflicting directions, micromanagement and perceived lack of trust.

“Respect is a different issue. It’s a common trend for each generation to expect younger employees to ‘pay their dues’ or prove themselves. And younger employees can sometimes feel a false sense of entitlement. Both behaviors are counterproductive. Supervisors and employees need to enter into positive professional relationships with clearly identified performance expectations and with the intention of providing constructive mutual feedback on a regular basis.”

GENERATIONS WORKING TOGETHER

Lacy Robinson, from page 7 New ideas or suggestions can sometimes cause friction. How do we overcome that?

“Too often, new ideas are shared in passing where the opportunity for careful consideration is completely lost. Weekly team meetings can provide the right setting for employees to share their ideas as well as concerns. They are more likely to offer practical suggestions if they know the company actually values their input and that there is a specific time and place to provide it.

“I recently wrote about this in my blog, thelearningspace.tumblr.com and offered six tips for pitching new ideas to management [See sidebar at right.]. They should be performed in the specific order shown for the idea to have the best opportunity of being taken seriously and implemented.”

How can a multi-generational firm embrace new technologies without alienating individuals?

“Implementing new technology begins with identifying one or two employees who are not only exceptional in using the technology but who also are capable of training others. For any employee who needs extra coaching, be sure to demonstrate a great deal of patience. This means explaining things slowly, going step-by-step and being repetitive. People who are comfortable with technology and use it every day can easily forget how foreign the process and lingo can be for others.

“Not every employee learns technology in the same way, and they must be treated as individuals. Some may want

hands-on training. Others may simply want to observe. Some may feel more comfortable with written instructions.

“To encourage the employee taking on the training role, give that person a specific title (e.g. Training Specialist, Learning Consultant, Performance Trainer), and allow them time to create effective training materials and techniques. All of this will help

How to Successfully Present New Ideas

1. Identify clearly the problem or missed opportunity the employer needs to be aware of.

2. Explain how addressing the issue with a formal plan or solution will benefit the business—maybe by gaining market share, increasing client family satisfaction or reducing operating costs.

3. Outline the new idea, solution or recommendation.

4. Share the experiences of funeral homes who have successfully implemented this new idea. Present results, testimonies, projected growth, etc.

5. Forecast what’s next. Present a plan for moving forward, including time and cost investments.

6. Examine the pros and cons. Prepare answers to anticipated questions.

From thelearningspace.tumblr.com/day/2014/03/24

Concludes on next page

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place an important emphasis on learning new technology in the funeral home.”

What do you find to be the most effective ways to reward employees for superior work?

“Employees perform better when there is an incentive for excellence beyond the paycheck. We may be tempted to think that wages and benefits are or should be enough; but the reality is, they are not.

“Every employee, regardless of age, has days when they are not operating at 100-percent capacity. I think we all are a bit more motivated when an additional incentive is offered to us. It inspires and motivates us to try a little harder. It’s the boost we may need to help get us through the more difficult times.

“Younger employees appreciate customized rewards. If they are a fan of a particular sports team, give them tickets to an upcoming game. A smaller reward could be a gift card to their favorite restaurant or store, a VISA gift card or gas card. But it’s important not to wait until annual review time. We should acknowledge and reward accomplishments and milestones throughout the year.

“During a formal conversation, an employee could be asked how they would like to be rewarded for a special job well done. By inquiring about this, the opportunity for reward is revealed, it’s made clear that the manager or supervisor is committed to the employee’s success, and the manager gets a better idea of what is meaningful to that employee.

“However, customized rewards must be consistent in value for

all employees, in order not to show favoritism. You could pick restaurant gift cards and find out what the employee’s favorite restaurants are. That’s one way to keep it pretty simple, but I feel there needs to be a real process to it. It can’t be random or inconsistent. There has to be a reason for giving out incentives.

“For example, telephone inquiries about cremation, preneed or other services can be tracked regarding who called, who answered, what follow-up occurred, what was discussed, etc. That record can be compared to the list of families who actually make arrangements—or maybe we track cremation families who end up choosing service options. If we trace it back to the person they originally spoke to, we can show that employee the result of their effort, express our appreciation and offer a reward. The key here is that there is a standardized approach with proof of a successful outcome.”

Based on the results of the NextGen survey, where do we go from here?

“Maybe the next step in the research is for managers to learn where their Gen Xers and Millennials see the themselves in 10 to 15 years. Is it still in funeral service? Do they feel that the path the funeral home is on now is stable and growing enough for them to stay?

“Owners and managers need to ask themselves if they are investing in the future of their business, as well as that of the community, by cultivating and engaging satisfied, long-term employees. If the younger generations are not happy,

they’ll find other employment. Companies that are taking the initiative to really hone the skills of Gen Xers and Millennials and give them what they want in the workplace are the ones succeeding. We can look at what companies like Google, Twitter and LinkedIn are doing. They are the epitome of having fun at work, and fun is important to younger generations. We can use these companies as models and incorporate what they are doing in appropriate ways for family-owned funeral businesses.

“There is a growing lack of perceived value in funerals by today’s consumers. The result is fewer services, and that is alarming on several levels. So we really need to think about what the future of our funeral business will be and if are we going to have the Gen Xers and Millennials who are able to carry us through.

“There likely is always going to be a bit of friction between the generations. The personalities, processes and motivations are just too different. But it all comes down to how those differences are being handled and how people are working through them.

“Owners and managers have a decision to make. They can either work on it and help people get through generational related issues, so there will be less friction and the focus can be on superior service delivery; or they can choose to ignore it and allow friction to escalate, resulting in dissatisfied employees and customers. What makes certain firms more successful at this than others is how willing and capable they are to step up and handle generational issues just as soon as they arise.” s

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New Annual Meeting Best Practices Competition Will Highlight Great IdeasIt’s no secret that Selected members are the best of the best throughout the world, and openly sharing experiences and learning from each other is something you do every day. In this spirit, the new Best Practices Competition gives you an opportunity to spotlight your best ideas.

All Selected member firms are encouraged to enter this competition where the top operational and managerial practices, processes and initiatives will be presented to and voted on by your peers at Selected’s upcoming Annual Meeting in Philadelphia, September 17-20. If you are selected to present your Best Practice, you will receive free registration to the Annual Meeting. Then, if your Best Practice is voted Best of the Best by your peers who attend the presentations, you will win an iPad Air!

EDUCATIONAL PROGRAMS UPCOMING MEETINGS

April 30 - May 2 Spring Management Summit, St. Charles, MO

May 7 Group 3 Roundtable, Jackson, MS

May 15 Group 4 Roundtable, Chicago, IL

May 16 Group 6 Roundtable, San Francisco, CA

May 22 Group 3 Roundtable, Richmond, VA

May 28-29 Group 1 Roundtable, Verona, NY

June 12-15 European Conference, Trondheim, Norway

June (TBD) Selected Connections, McMurray, PA

June (TBD) Group 1 Roundtable, Massachusetts

June (TBD) Group 2 Roundtable, Kentucky

September 17-20 96th Annual Meeting, Philadelphia, PA

November 5 Group 2 Roundtable, St. Joseph, MI

November 13 Group 2 Roundtable, Coraopolis, PA

November 18 European Autumn Meeting, (TBD)

2015

January 25-29 NextGen Seminar, Lahaina, Maui, Hawaii

June 27-30 European Conference, Plymouth, England

Visit selectedfuneralhomes.org/meetings/upcoming for the latest information.

“One of the most valuable aspects of the Annual Meeting is the chance to connect with fellow Selected colleagues and share what’s working or, perhaps, not working, in our daily operations,” said Programming Work Group member and Best Practices Competition Committee Chair Dan Densow of Wichman Funeral Homes and Crematory, WI. “This new competition gives us a way to showcase the greatest ideas and have some fun doing it. We know every member has at least one best practice they could share. We need you to throw your hat in the ring to make this competition all it can be!”

To learn more about the competition and how to enter, visit selectedfuneralhomes.org/best-practices-competition, or contact Amy Hunt, Director of Meetings and Education, at 1-800-323-4219 or

ahunt@selectedfuneralhomes.org. And to find out more about the upcoming Annual Meeting, visit selectedfuneralhomes.org/meetings/annual. s

Win an iPad Air!

11

EDUCATIONAL PROGRAMS

The Selected Leadership Academy has announced its 2014 Class. This is the third class to be enrolled in the association’s unique, two-year program that offers a rewarding opportunity for members to develop their leadership skills. Members of the 2014 class are shown at the bottom right.

Available exclusively to Selected members, the Academy engages and inspires participants through interactive conference calls, personal coaching and

face-to-face experiences within a structured curriculum. The Selected Board of Directors, Leadership Council, Headquarters Staff and Academy Dean Marguerite Ham are committed to offering the highest quality and most effective leadership training program possible.

The Academy also congratulates its Pilot Class of 2012, listed at the top right, which graduated during this year’s Leadership Conference prior to Selected’s Spring Management Summit. s

Leadership Academy Enrolls 2014 Class, Graduates Pilot Class

Members Choose Maui for 2015 NextGen Seminar

NextGen Award Nominations Now Open

Class of 2012 Graduating Pilot Class

Jay Carmon, Windsor, CT

Christy Taylor Chaney,Owensboro, KY

Luke Densow, Appleton, WI

John Devaney, St. Charles, MO

Rob Larkin, Salt Lake City, UT

AnnYager McCrosky,Danville, KY

Scott Pridemore, Lafayette, IN

Scott Robinson, Pine Bluff, AR

Karl Rohling, Omaha, NE

David Root,Calgary, AB, Canada

David Speaks,Independence, MO

Incoming Class of 2014

Scott Baeten, De Pere, WI

Paul Baue, St. Charles, MO

Dennis Goss, Fulton, NY

Ben Hengesteg,Des Moines, IA

Christopher Hoffman,Carlisle, PA

Stefanie Kummet, Aurora, CO

Joseph Mahn, Red Wing, MN

Shelby Shafer,Colorado Springs, CO

Jovon Tyler, Houston, TX

Christopher Waite,Medina, OH

Visit selectedfuneralhomes.org/programs/leadership-academy

Selected NextGen members have resoundingly voted to meet at the beautiful Westin Maui Resort & Spa for the 2015 NextGen Seminar. The meeting will take place January 25-29. Many members enjoyed a memorable seminar in Maui in 2006. For our return in 2015, we were able to negotiate excellent room rates, even for ocean view rooms!

The NextGen Advisory Group will create the meeting agenda this Summer. It is sure to again feature enlightening and engaging topics and speakers while still providing ample free time to

develop relationships with peers and enjoy all Maui has to offer. Anyone interested in volunteering to serve on the NextGen Advisory Group can contact Amy Hunt at 1-800-323-4219 or ahunt@selectedfuneralhomes.org. Volunteers always are welcome.

Visit selectedfuneralhomes.org/nextgen-seminar for the mostup-to-date information. s

Nominations are now being accepted for the 2015 NextGen Professional of the Year award. Simply visit selectedfuneralhomes.org/nextgen-program for complete details, or contact Stefanie Favia at

stefanief@selectedfuneralhomes.org or 1-800-323-4219. The winner will be announced during a special presentation at the 2015 NextGen Seminar. s

12

The association has announced that Brad Speaks has been named President-Elect, and Jim Busch has been named Secretary-Treasurer-Elect for the upcoming year. Both men have served on the Board of Directors since 2012 and will be installed in office at Selected’s 96th Annual Meeting in Philadelphia, PA, this September.

Brad Speaks represents Group 4 and is President and CEO of Speaks Family Legacy Chapels, Independence, MO. He and his wife, Mary Kay, have one daughter. His father, R. Robert Speaks, served on Selected’s Board from 2003-2006.

“I’ve really enjoyed the chance to give back to the association,” said Brad. “Our family feels that Selected has been an important part of our success—as individuals, as a business and, most importantly, as we take care of people in our community who have lost someone they love.

“Selected raises the bar and then raises it again, so being able to serve on the Board has been great, and now to be elected President—

Do you want to...

• Have your own personal board of advisors?• Get help with your business challenges?• Grow your business?• Become a better leader?• Expand your network?• Connect with funeral owners ready to share their experiences and best practices?

Selected Board of Directors Elects Officers for 2014–2015

I’m humbled, excited and thankful all rolled up into one. And I’m looking forward to working with Jim Busch and his wife, Becky, as well as the rest of the Board and staff during the coming year.”

When asked what he hopes to help Selected achieve in the coming year, Brad responded, “The funeral environment nationwide is changing. We have a good start on it, but I really want to focus on how Selected can be more successful and help members be more successful in the changing environment.”

Jim Busch represents Group 2 and is President of Busch Funeral and Crematory Services, Cleveland, OH. He and his wife, Becky, have two daughters and a son. Jim’s grandfather, J. Milton Busch, and father, John M. Busch,

served on the Board (1951-54 and 1975-78 respectively), and both also served as Secretary-Treasurer.

“These past two years have been enlightening to learn more about the inner workings of the association. We have great leadership and an outstanding staff; we are in very good hands,” said Jim. “Selected is poised for a great future. Becky and I are really excited and happy for Brad and Mary Kay, and I know they’ll do a great job representing Selected here and abroad!

“This coming year is about following through on all the strategic initiatives that are underway and seeing them come to fruition.”

The Selected Board of Directors also includes President Lance Larkin, Salt Lake City, UT, Group 6; Secretary-Treasurer Bruce Tannahill, Owen Sound, ON, Group 1; Mark Higgins, Durham, NC, Group 3; J Mitchell, Kilgore, TX, Group 5; and Ex Officio Adam Robinson Jr., Pine Bluff, AR, Group 5. s

Jim BuschBrad Speaks

Selected Study Groups can help you achieve these goals and more.

Enrollment is now open!

Visit selectedfuneralhomes.org/programs/study-groups, or contact Denise Zoephel, Assistant Executive Director, at 1-800-323-4219 or denisez@selectedfuneralhomes.orgfor a Program Guide and Enrollment Form.

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By Sarah PojanowskiGeneral Counsel, Selected Independent Funeral Homes

The Third Circuit recently handed down a remarkable decision called Heffner v. Murphy. This case overturned a federal district court decision which had previously held a number of provisions of the Pennsylvania Funeral Director Law to be unconstitutional. The Pennsylvania Board of Funeral Directors appealed and the Third Circuit reversed the district court’s findings and held that the law was in fact appropriate on nine of ten grounds.

The Pennsylvania law contained ten key provisions challenged in the lawsuit, including the fact that the law would: “(1) permit warrantless inspections of funeral establishments by the Board; (2) limit the number of establishments in which a funeral director may possess an ownership interest; (3) restrict the capacity of unlicensed individuals and certain entities to hold ownership interests in a funeral establishment; (4) restrict the number of funeral establishments in which a funeral director may practice his or her profession; (5) require every funeral establishment to have a licensed full-time supervisor; (6) require funeral establishments to have a ‘preparation room;’ (7) prohibit the service of food in a funeral establishment; (8) prohibit the use of trade names by funeral homes; (9) govern the trusting of monies advanced pursuant to pre-need contracts for merchandise; and (10) prohibit the payment of commissions to agents or employees.”

The Third Circuit upheld nine of the ten provisions, striking down only the law’s restrictions on the use of trade names by funeral homes on First Amendment grounds. The rest of the provisions the Third Circuit often found to be “archaic,” but they did not rise to the level of “irrationality” necessary to strike them down as unconstitutional.

Heffner v. Murphy is the latest in a string of recent funeral profession-related Constitutional law cases, most of which present interesting questions under

what is called the “dormant commerce clause” of the United States Constitution, among other legal issues (this particular case had quite a few). In other words, most of these cases tend to deal with legislation that can be interpreted as protectionist in nature, and a burden on interstate competition.

Courts of Appeal around the country have disagreed on what the correct outcome should be on these dormant commerce clause cases, creating what is termed a “circuit split.” Perhaps one of these years, in the not too distant future, we will have a funeral profession-related case argued in front of the U.S. Supreme Court to resolve some of these questions! s

Selected Supports New Funeral Rule Legislation Introduced Before U.S. House of Representatives On March 12, 2014, Rep. Ed Whitfield of Kentucky introduced H.R. 4213, entitled “The Funeral Rule Improvements Act of 2014,” before the U.S. House of Representatives. The bill, which currently has five co-sponsors from both sides of the aisle, seeks to expand the Funeral Rule to cover some cemeteries and casket sellers as well as funeral homes.

The legislation instructs the Federal Trade Commission to amend the Funeral Rule, section 453.1 of title 16 of the Code of Federal Regulations, to expand the definition of a “funeral provider” from providers of “funeral goods and services” to instead include “any person, partnership, trust or corporation that sells or offers to sell funeral or burial goods or services to the public.”

Changing the “and” to an “or” has profound implications for the profession – as written, the Funeral Rule only applies to funeral homes, because cemeteries and casket sellers are not involved in both aspects of a typical funeral. However, under the new legislation, the disclosure requirements of the Funeral Rule would

LEGAL PERSPECTIVE

Third Circuit Reverses Federal District Court Decision and Upholds PennsylvaniaFuneral Director Law

Concludes on page 24

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John Schmitz, CPA, is a business and financial consultant and funeral service expert. He also is the architect of Selected’s updated Management Comparative Program that utilizes data from member firms to highlight operational trends and provide guidance for optimal business performance.

How important is data-driven operational evaluation for funeral homes?

“There’s an old saying, You can’t monitor what you don’t measure. And of course, if you don’t monitor it, you can’t fix it. So it all starts with measurement, and you have to have a system that allows you to look at the most important areas in your firm on an ongoing basis to see what changes are occurring and where you’re making progress.

“A few years ago, when we revamped Selected’s Management Comparative Program, we worked with a number of Selected members to get their feedback and opinions. As a result, our focus became creating a survey tool that was fairly simple to complete, even for firms that don’t have sophisticated data collection systems. They still can easily obtain the needed data, plug it in to the survey and receive a meaningful report.

“This is one of the program’s greatest benefits. We’ve tried to keep it simple compared to the survey program used by Selected Study Groups which is much more in-depth. It’s perfect for firms that don’t have the time or system to go into that much depth, at least in the beginning. One of my hopes is that when members use the information derived from their Management Comparative Program for a few years, they’ll see the benefit to their funeral home’s progress and move up to the more sophisticated Selected Study Group program.

Management Comparative Program Offers Ease of Use, Vital Operational Data and Confidentiality

What advice do you have for those who may feel the Management Comparative survey still is too complicated?

“I believe that if they could just spend 30 minutes to an hour reading the survey form and determining what data they need to collect, they’ll see it is very simple and straight-forward.

“Perhaps some members have the perception that the survey is complicated because the report that comes back is 30 pages long and very comprehensive, with charts and explanatory narrative. It could be assumed that the survey form is equally as detailed, but it’s not. All you have to do is read down the input fields to see that the survey can be completed without too much effort. And if someone gets into an area they find more difficult, they always can use their accounting resources to help break it down.

“Others may feel the report would not benefit their operation and improve profitability. They may feel their firm is unique. Certainly each funeral home is different in some ways, but one thing they all have in common is employee expense in the form of wages and benefits. These are by far the biggest expense and the largest numbers on anyone’s profit and loss statement.

“When you are able to look at your employee costs, determine their ratio to your revenue and then compare your percentage to the Selected member average through this program; you can determine if you are on track or spending more than the

John Schmitz

“I truly believe more owners should invest greater time running their business rather than performing funerals. Too many still get involved in the day-to-day service details which precludes them taking a broader view.”

BUSINESS AND FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT

15

average. Again, some people might feel they have a different set of circumstances, but the Management Comparative Report lets them compare their firm to three totally separate and confidential groups—those in the same geographic region, those across the country with similar case volumes and those with similar population density. This really makes for more relevant comparisons, and therein lies the benefit.”

“In fact, the employee aspect alone could be worth the effort to participate. When you find good people, you want to keep them. The more you work to understand your staff, the better your operations and service to families will be. There always will be times in any funeral home operation when people feel they are overworked; it’s the nature of the profession and the fact that death knows no timetable. But I think if an owner knows that his or her business is paying wages comparable to others of similar volume, location and market; that can help people deal with the demanding times. It’s good for them to see the owner demonstrating an appreciation for what they do by paying close attention to the statistics so adjustments can be made when needed.”

Is it truly a benefit to all members to have as many participating in this program as possible?

“The more Selected firms that participate, the richer the data. We had nearly 200 participants last year and hope to continue to grow each year. So I encourage all members to try it, even if it’s just for one year. Get your first report and see if it has value for you. I think you’ll see the benefit and want to continue with the program year after year.

“The Management Comparative Program benefits everyone and harms no one. Even if you compare your firm to its geographic group, the report is tailored so you can’t identify the specific firms. If confidentiality is a concern for anyone, it’s totally unfounded; because we work very hard to make sure the data is statistically valid but not identifiable to any specific firm.”

What is your view of the current state of funeral home profitability?

“We all know cremation is on the rise. However, in the Western states, it’s starting to level out naturally. Whereas the Midwest and East are not even close to topping out yet. Funeral home owners and managers need to talk with people—their colleagues in Selected—who have been in the thick of rising cremation rates, to help save time and effort in

figuring out how to educate their own market about cremation options.

“Everything I am reading points toward educating the public and not assuming that when a cremation family comes in; it’s going to be a simple, easy arrangement. If you do it right, it may be one of the more full-featured arrangements you provide. But even if it’s not, the family is certain to walk away better informed. If the arranger truly understands the profession, asked all the right questions, shared knowledge and offered options; it leaves a great impression, encourages referrals and builds for a strong future.”

What steps can owners take to improve their bottom line?

“I truly believe more owners should invest greater time running their business rather than performing funerals. Too many still get involved in the day-to-day service details which precludes them taking a broader view.

“I would like every owner to have their accountant train them on how to read a profit and loss statement and how to break it down to important areas such as employee costs. Ideally, the bookkeeper should provide the owner with a custom, consolidated statement that allows the owner to monitor, perhaps, four areas of his or her choosing. I’m not saying they shouldn’t read the full P&L statement, but it’s more efficient to focus on the specific areas that are most important at this time and for which action plans can be readily developed and implemented.” s

Members can complete the Management Comparative survey online or by hardcopy form. All data is due by June 23, 2014. For additional information or assistance, visit selectedfuneralhomes.org/programs/management-comparative, or contactAssistant Executive Director Denise Zoephel at 1-800-323-4219.

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Jake Johnson is President and CEO of Johnson Consulting Group, a Selected Preferred Partner, offering a range of solutions for funeral home operational and financial needs. He also is an owner of member firm Whitney & Murphy Funeral Home in Phoenix, AZ.

What is your view of current trends in the acquisition and sale of funeral homes?

“Obviously, SCI’s acquisition of Stewart has created a lot of activity. There are roughly 15 buyers who have or will enter into contracts to buy the SCI locations that the FTC has mandated must be divested. Most of these buyers are independent operators who will prosper with the new locations. With this surge in interested buyers, I think activity will continue to be brisk for the coming years. But this can make it harder to acquire a firm if it also is desirable to other buyers.

“So before you make an offer, be sure the acquisition is a good fit for your organization and will not have a negative impact on your existing business.

“Regarding selling a firm, the biggest mistake an owner can make is thinking he or she can do it all themselves—usually in an effort to save some money.

Rising Business Valuations Bring Opportunity and Challenge

However, this tactic will often result in a lower sale price. And mistakes can be made along the way that jeopardize the deal and add significant cost to the legal aspect of the transaction.

“It is public knowledge what SCI paid for Stewart Enterprises. And although the multiple [explained in next column] for private firms will not be as high, prices for funeral homes and cemeteries are at a good level at this point in time. If you remember back several years, it was hard to ‘give away’ a funeral home, as the public companies simply were not buying. That is not the case today and, therefore, creates value for those who are contemplating selling their firm.”

What is the most important consideration when having a firm appraised for value?

“Business valuation is a very important tool for business owners. But one of the first things to understand is that an industry specialist needs to be used to determine the true value of a funeral home. A local accountant will not be able to pinpoint the value, because it’s just not their field. They likely do not have broad experience in valuing funeral homes and cemeteries.

“There are several methods that can be used in determining the value of a funeral home. However, firms have historically been valued as a multiple of their free cash flow, because most industry buyers base their purchases on that factor.

“Cash flow is defined as EBITDA or Earnings Before Interest, Taxes, Depreciation and Amortization. It’s used to determine what the business is capable of servicing in debt before those other things are added. An industry multiple is then placed on the EBITDA which results in a determination of value. The current multiple for most funeral homes varies quite a bit, depending on many factors. These are the basic ground rules, but there are a host of dynamics that come into play when determining the final value.

“Consultants unfamiliar with the funeral profession have no gauge to pinpoint what normalized expenses and EBITDA should be for a typical funeral home. They also will be taking a guess at what the industry value multiple is, because they have no experience with the characteristics that drive variances in the multiple—market size, competitive situation, path of progress, state laws, etc.

“The recent activity by SCI and Stewart, and the resultant divestiture of properties, has resulted in multiples being quite healthy now. But two things are still keeping owners and managers up at night—rising cremation and eroding profits. However, premier funeral homes,

Jake Johnson

BUSINESS AND FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT

PREFERRED PARTNER

Concludes on next page

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such as Selected members that are proactive in their communities, stand to gain the most from rising business valuations.”

How can owners know if it’s the right time to buy?

“Funeral home owners can certainly see the opportunities, but before they even consider a new acquisition, they need to know how well their own business is doing. This is done by conducting what we call a Performance Analysis. We look at a firm’s marketplace, workflow processes, financial condition and customer service level. If it’s not hitting on all cylinders, are you ready to take on a new location?

“To take advantage of opportunities, you first need to know exactly where your company stands and have the tools in place to quickly identify and address changes. Then, when you do expand into new markets, you can take your successes with you and implement your processes effectively in those locations.”

What is your view of shrinking funeral home profit margins?

“When more families choose direct cremation, and arrangement counselors are not being trained or equipped with the tools to make sure those families understand the meaningful service options that are still available and, quite frankly, necessary—profit is impacted. Apathy toward rising cremation and lower profitability go hand-in-hand.

Also, the funeral business is always changing. And the need to change with it can be difficult at times. Most of us can remember the good, old days when families all came in for traditional services, and all we had to do was wait for

the next one. Today, there’s more work involved, and the revenue that comes from it is often less. So, a very important consideration is how a funeral home is utilizing its staff and providing what we call ‘seamless delivery,’ where everyone knows their role, and everything is adding value to services for client families. If anything is not, it’s time to ask if it’s something we need to continue doing. Funeral homes

“...two things are still keeping everyone up at night— rising cremation and eroding profits. However, the premier funeral homes, such as Selected members that are proactive in their communities, stand to gain the most from rising business valuations.”

we must address discrepancies between what they are earning and what they are contributing to the business. Is an under-performing counselor being paid more than the others? If so, what are you doing about it?

“We all know it’s hard to find qualified people who want to arrange funerals. So it’s imperative we give our people the tools they need to be successful. One

have to ask that question more and more as they look toward how to address the change in profits.

“The good news is, funeral service profitability compared to other industries is still very good. So we can’t just think that things are all bad, but we also can’t think that things will ever go back to the old days. We always have to be looking at how to address changing consumer preferences. And with these changes, there’s more need than ever for good funeral home accountability and management practices.

“In many markets, a good arrangement counselor may be responsible for a revenue segment rivaling that of other small businesses in total. So the question is, how are you tracking the performance of your counselors, and how are they each contributing to your EBITDA which is then increased by the appropriate multiple for business valuation?

“All arrangement counselors do not perform exactly the same, but

arrangement counselor may have superior presentation skills; one may be a better listener. We have to find ways to share knowledge and expertise for the good of the team. Everyone wants to feel good about what they are doing; but if we keep them in the dark about performance, it’s no surprise there will be discrepancies.

“The solution starts at roundtable meetings—talking about what’s working and what’s not. A funeral home is a team environment, and it’s important that everyone collaborates. It also is important to have easy-to-read reports that summarize where everyone stands in terms of average sales and customer service. No one wants to be at the bottom. If everyone works together to solve a problem, it can be rewarding for all.” s

Contact Jake Johnson at jjohnson@johnsonconsulting.com or 1-888-250-7747. See Johnson Consulting Group ad next page.

18

19

Selected Resources has created a new brochure for members titled Why Suicide? Support After a Death by Suicide. It is filled with helpful advice and resources, and it addresses various aspects of this often misunderstood cause of death. The Bulletin recently spoke with the brochure’s author, Janet S. McCord, PhD, FT, Associate Professor of Thanatology at Marian University School of Nursing and Health Professions.

What are some common misconceptions about suicide?

“A dominant view in society is that suicide is related solely to depression, but it’s just not that simple. Because it is so multifaceted and individual, it’s practically impossible to generalize about suicide. Is depression a risk factor? Sure, but there are many others as well. If you search online for risk factors and warning signs, you’ll find literally hundreds, so it’s hard for people to make sense of it. One of the reasons for creating this brochure is to help families get the facts about a very complicated subject.

“Edwin S. Shneidman, the creator of the field of modern suicide study, focused on mental or psychological pain and angst as the primary underlying cause. Not everyone who is sad is going to kill themselves. And there are people who do kill themselves who were

New Resource: Support for Survivors of Suicide Loss

not depressed or sad, so it comes as a complete shock to their loved ones. We also know there are people plagued with suicidal thoughts on a daily basis during their entire lives.”

How can funeral directors best help bereaved families?

“We all need to work together to raise awareness and begin to chip away at the stigma that surrounds suicide, so that the community can become more comfortable even saying the word out loud. This certainly doesn’t mean condoning suicide but rather looking at it more objectively—as a tragic choice that is seen by the victim as their only solution to a perceived problem.

“Dr. David A. Jobes, Professor of Psychology at The Catholic University of America, developed a philosophy of clinical care called Collaborative Assessment and Management of Suicidality (CAMS) [See video at youtube.com/

watch?v=SEj9KDOnX4Q]. It is an approach in which a clinician and the suicidal person collaborate to assess the issues and identify reasons for living and for dying and learn alternative coping mechanisms. This begins to remove the idea of suicide being the only choice.

“I met a woman a few years ago whose husband had killed himself, and she told me she had put the fact in the obituary. The funeral home didn’t want her to, but she insisted. She said she was sad but not ashamed. I was impressed by her emotional maturity. Funeral directors should try not to get

Dr. Janet McCord

SELECTED RESOURCES

Visit selectedfuneralhomes.org/selected-resources, or call1-800-323-4219 to learn more about this new brochure and all of the literature, products and preferred partners Selected Resources offers exclusively to Selected members.

caught up in the stigma and should be receptive to what the surviving family wants to do, especially if it helps them manage their grief and the feelings associated with suicide. I also would encourage funeral directors to avoid being judgmental, because the last thing a family needs is to be judged about the way their loved one died. If the funeral director can be open to and supportive of what the family wants to do, it could be a great gift to them.

“I offer some specific advice in the brochure about talking with children and teens. These are very impressionable groups, so their questions and concerns need to be handled with knowledge and care.

“Australian neonatologist Dr. Peter Barr has said he never tries to choreograph the grief of a family or tell them how to think or feel. Rather, it’s important to be nonjudgmental and to help the family identify and actualize their needs. It’s also important to inform them of support groups and other local resources available.” s

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John C. “Jay” Carmon Jr. is a third-generation funeral director at Carmon Community Funeral Homes in Windsor, CT. He is a member of the pilot class of Selected’s Leadership Academy.

Who in funeral service do you most admire?

“I most admire my father, John C. Carmon. Growing up in a funeral home with your father absent from most of your day-to-day activities can be challenging for a kid. As I grew older, though, I learned how important what he was doing was to our community. I think I was about 17 years old when I attended a roast of my father at our local Elks Club. When person after person stood up and spoke about how he was there for them in their darkest hour, I finally got it.

“Once I began to work for my father, it became even more apparent how special he was. This is a man who would wake up at 5:30 in the morning, attend a prayer breakfast, chair a board meeting at 7:30, run a funeral at 9:00, meet with a couple of families in the afternoon, run calling hours and attend a Kiwanis meeting before coming home and possibly have to go out again on a home transfer.

“Somehow, with this day-to-day routine, he managed to continue to think progressively about how not only our family’s firm but our industry as a whole could

MEMBER PROFILE

Jay Carmon of Carmon Community Funeral Homes

better serve our communities and ourselves. He continues in this ministry to this day, and I am left in awe of how much he truly cares for the families he serves. I constantly try to emulate him in this task.”

Why did you seek a career in funeral service?

“Being raised a funeral director’s kid sometimes begs the question, did I seek funeral service or did it seek me? Like other children of funeral directors, I grew up washing cars, shoveling snow and mowing lawns at the funeral home. I would watch my father and uncles as they went about their daily routines. Sometimes I would be tucked in the front seat of the station wagon with my mother while my father went into the nursing home to transfer someone into his care.

“All normal routines for a kid, right? What I didn’t realize then, but I do now, is that I was being raised with a specific set of core values like compassion and care for all people. As a young adult, I had my dreams of wanting to do something that was going to change the world—something grand like becoming a famous author or screenwriter. I wanted to affect people.

“Well lo and behold, what did I finally realize? Each and

every day as a funeral director, I have that opportunity. We are given a sacred trust—the ability and privilege to take a family by the hand and to walk with them down the path they need to go. Maybe it is not on the grand scale that I envisioned in my youth, but it has now become something that is immeasurable to me.”

What famous person would you most want to have a conversation with?

“If I could sit down with anyone and have a candid conversation, it would be former President Theodore Roosevelt. I just find him to be such a compelling person. Although raised in a wealthy home, he built himself up to what he wanted to be. Overcoming asthma, his size and sometimes lack of gravitas; he became one of our greatest leaders. A brilliant statesman, a war hero, police commissioner, conservationist and ultimately President of the United States. I think the insights that he could share for personal growth and overcoming challenges would be very insightful.”

What is your biggest pet peeve?

“It would have to be when our staff miss the little things. Details are so important. It might be considered a little over the top to some, but I think that our attention to detail sets us apart from other firms. These little details are something that have

Jay Carmon

Concludes on next page

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been ingrained in me growing up and are second nature now, so it is really obvious to me when something is missed.

“Everything from how the chairs are set up in the parlor, how the flower stands are placed, the exact positioning of the deceased, how our professional assistants stand and greet people at the funeral home or church and so many more of all those little things.”

What is your guiding business or service principle?

“What I learned from my father is this is a ministry. Even though it can be hard to get out of bed on some days, I know that I am going

to be engaged in helping people in some way throughout the day. I am fortunate that I have my father and cousin, Frank, who are very well equipped to handle business matters, so that I can focus mostly on the families that I serve.”

Of what aspect of your firm are you most proud?

“We serve more than 1,300 families a year, and we are able to do that with a personal touch. We serve all faiths and cultures, and it allows me to feel that we are truly there for our entire community. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention how proud of our staff I am. We maintain a high standard, and our directors reflect that every day.”

What is your favorite Selected Program, Benefit or Service?

“I am a proud member of the pilot class of the Selected Leadership Academy. As I write this, I am looking forward to our graduation that is coming up just before the next Spring Management Summit in St. Charles, MO. It has been a great experience working with Marguerite Ham and having the opportunity to develop a great network of colleagues and friends through the Academy.” s

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him, while his funeral home has remained a fixture and a place where families can find comfort in their hardest times.

“One of the nice things about being part of the community for so long is the friendships you make and the people you meet,” said David C. Mowell. “We appreciate people trusting us,” added C.J., “and we look forward to serving for another 50 years.”

Brian Allen has been promoted to General Manager of Sandifer Funeral Home, Westminster, SC. He is a twelve-year employee and Vice President of the firm.

Members are encouraged to send news and announcements to Selected at member-news@sifh.org.

Carl J. Mowell and Son Funeral Home, Fayetteville, GA, is celebrating its 50th anniversary. It is one of the community’s oldest remaining businesses. President C.J. Mowell Jr. has watched the county change around

MEMBER NEWS

Ann L. Bejma, Bellows Funeral Chapel, Lincoln, RI, died April 12. bellowsfuneralchapel.com

Ellen G. Christie, Robert A. Pumphrey Funeral Home, Bethesda-Chevy-Chase, Inc., Bethesda, MD, died April 12. pumphreyfuneralhome.com.

Robert T. Rosson Sr., Waller Funeral Home,Oxford, MS, died April 11. wallerfuneralhome.com

Thomas W. Holly, A.J. Holly & Sons, Waupaca, WI, died March 27. hollyfuneralhome.com

Esther L. Rogers, Foster Funeral Home, Fulton, NY, died March 27. fosterfuneralhome.com

Alfred J. Shia, Kepner Funeral Homes, Wheeling, WV, died March 25. kepnerfuneral.com

Helen P. Grotton, Brookings-Smith Funeral Home, Bangor, ME, died March 22. brookingssmith.com

REMEMBERING OUR COLLEAGUES

WELCOME NEW MEMBERS

Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services 2 Maple Avenue, White Plains, NY 10601, Group 1 914-949-0566, ballarddurand.comMatthew J. Fiorillo, mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com

Boxwell Brothers Funeral Directors500 N. Maddox, Dumas, TX 79029, Group 5 806-355-8156, boxwellbrothers.comBart Boxwell, bart@boxwellbrothers.comBrad Boxwell, brad@boxwellbrothers.com

David Mowell and C.J. Mowell Jr.

Joan B. Kepner, Kepner Funeral Homes,Wheeling, WV, died March 22. kepnerfuneral.com

John T. Lumbard, Brockie Donovan Funeral and Cremation Services, Brandon, MB, Canada, died March 20. brockiedonovan.com

Jenny Thomas, Folkestone, England, died March 2.

Ira W. Cannon, Cleveland Funeral Directors, McDonough, GA, died February 19. cannonclevelandfunerals.com

Clarence E. Harden, Harden-Pauli Funeral Home, Eustis, FL, died February 12. hardenpauli.com

Daniel E. McGuire, John A. Gentleman Mortuaries, Omaha, NE, died February 10. johnagentleman.com

John D. Doolittle, Doolittle Funeral Service,Middletown, CT, died January 29. doolittlefuneralservice.com

Dingmann Funeral Home & Cremation Service1545 N. McMillan, Worthington, MN 56187, Group 4 507-372-4250, dingmannandsons.comDan Dingmann, ddingmann@hotmail.com

Donald McLaren Ltd.12-18 Hallcraig St., Airdrie, Scotland ML6 6AH (01236) 762000, donaldmclarenltd.co.uk Charles Flannigan, charlie@dmclaren.co.uk

Brian AllenMore Member News on page 24

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The Selected Educational Trust thanks the following contributors for their generous support in helping to encourage Lifelong Learning by independent funeral professionals. To make a contribution or to learn more, visit selectedtrust.org or call 1-888-70-TRUST.

IN-MEMORIUM CONTRIBUTORS

The Billow Funeral Homes and Crematory, Akron, OH, in memory of John Lumbard and Daniel McGuire.

Bauer Funeral Homes and Cremation Services, Kittanning, PA, in memory of Margery Fleming, Helen Grotton and Joan Kepner.

Keohane Funeral Home, Quincy, MA, in memory of John Doolittle.

SELECTED EDUCATIONAL TRUST CONTRIBUTIONS

SELECTED EDUCATIONAL TRUST NEWS

Newest Selected Leadership Academy ScholarAnnounced The Selected Educational Trust has chosen Shelby Shafer as the second recipient of the Selected Leadership Academy Scholarship. She is a funeral director at The Springs Funeral Services in Colorado Springs, CO, and will use the scholarship to participate in the Academy’s structured, two-year program offered exclusively to Selected members. The scholarship is made possible through the generous support of Meadow Hill Corporation, maker of Thumbies.

“I am excited to be a part of the Leadership Academy and to receive the scholarship, which makes the opportunity possible,” said Shafer. “I would like to thank both the Leadership Academy and the Educational Trust. I’m

Looking Toward Philly in SeptemberPlans are well underway for the Trust’s Annual Gala, to take place on September 19 in Philadelphia, PA. Mark your calendars to take part! Last year’s fun and casual Gala in Austin, TX, set the bar high, so we’re ready to build on that success with lots of unique features that we’ve never offered before.

In addition, this year’s Gala will feature great food, a spectacular location, music, dancing, the ever-popular Silent Auction and more. It promises to be a great opportunity to enjoy the most beautiful views of Philadelphia and the waterfront with colleagues and friends—all to help sustain lifelong learning in the funeral service profession. Watch for more details coming soon. s

confident that the experience will help me be a stronger and more efficient leader and, most importantly, a stronger asset to the family funeral business, of which I am a proud part.”

The scholarship will cover Shafer’s registration fee for the full two years of the program plus reimbursement for books. The total estimated value of this scholarship is $4,500. Any individual currently employed full-time and not a majority owner at a firm maintaining full membership in Selected is eligible to apply for this scholarship. Shelby follows in the footsteps of Robert Nunnaley of Fry and Prickett Funeral Home, Carthage, NC, who is beginning his second year in the Academy with the support of his Educational Trust scholarship.

Information about the program, including application

deadlines and form, is available at selectedtrust.org/leadership-academy-scholarship.html.

Ryan Funeral Home, DePere, WI, in memory of Max Larkin.

Tufts Schildmeyer Family Funeral Home, Loveland, OH, in memory of Joan Kepner.

Selected Group 3, in memory of Ira Cannon.

Selected Past Secretary-Treasurers and Past Presidents Council, in memory of Joan Kepner, John Lumbard, Daniel McGuire, Esther Rogers and Alfred Shia.

SUSTAINING CONTRIBUTORS

Bachmann Hebble Funeral Service, Battle Creek, MI

Buz Buzogany, Selected Independent Funeral Homes

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expand the Rule so that it would apply to cemeteries and casket sellers, not just funeral homes.

The proposed legislation would not, however, cover all providers of funeral goods or services. It contains a number of exemptions, including:

• Any religious denomination, middle judicatory, house of worship, or similar religious organization.

• Any State or political subdivision of a State.

•Any cemetery that has 25 or fewer burials per year.

•Any entity described in section 501(c)(13) of the Internal Revenue Code of 1986.”

As a result, many cemeteries still would not fall under the Funeral Rule’s disclosure requirements. At the same time, however, it is a step in the right direction. If the Funeral Rule is necessary at all, it is just as necessary for consumers at cemeteries as at funeral homes.

The proposed legislation also instructs the FTC to revise the definition of “funeral services” to include “the care and preparation of deceased human remains for burial, cremation, or other final disposition or (2) the arrangement, supervision, or carrying out the funeral ceremony or final disposition of deceased human bodies.”

Selected supports this legislation in its current form, because it is a first step toward leveling the

Sarah Pojanowski, from page 13

Continued from page 22

playing field between funeral homes and for-profit providers of funeral goods or services, including cemeteries and casket sellers, and ensures that consumers at such establishments get the same fair treatment they deserve across the board during these vulnerable times of stress and grief.

Selected believes that the bill as presented is a promising first step toward mandatory disclosures not only from funeral home professionals but throughout the death care industry. Funeral homes have been complying with disclosure requirements for more than 25 years without undue burdens on their businesses—it is time for all death care providers to be held to the same standard. You can read the full text of the proposed legislation at gpo.gov/fdsys/pkg/BILLS-113hr4213ih/pdf/BILLS-113hr4213ih.pdf.

Regardless of whether you are in favor of the bill or not, we strongly recommend you get involved in the process. Please contact your local representative in Washington immediately to let them know where you stand. Go to house.gov to identify your representative and express your opinion.

Also, email me at sarahp@selectedfuneralhomes.org or call 1-800-323-4219. Let me know what you think! Member input matters when it comes to how Selected responds to legislation, and the more we hear from members, the better we are able to serve you. You can make a difference. s

Jeffrey H. O’Keefe Sr., President of Bradford-O’Keefe Funeral Home, Ocean Springs, MS, has been appointed to serve a four-year term on the Mississippi State Board of Funeral Service. The firm operates six funeral homes, two cemeteries and Mississippi’s first crematory.

Wells Funeral Home, Canton, NC, was featured recently in a Black Mountain News article by John Boyle about funeral homes offering wedding and other event services as part of an emerging trend. A 12,000-square-foot reception center is now under construction next to the funeral home, which will include a dining and meeting area for 100, a full catering kitchen and several potential meeting rooms.

Jeffrey O’Keefe Sr.

MEMBER NEWS In the article, Wells Greeley, President of the firm, talks about the research involved in deciding to open an event center, including visiting fellow Selected member firm Milward Funeral Directors in Lexington, KY.

Dale Groce, co-owner of member firm Groce Funeral Home in Asheville, NC, also stated that in light of changing traditions, the concept of funeral home-owned event centers makes sense to him. s

Photo by Bill Sanders

Wells Greeley

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