GCSE (9–1) ENGLISH LANGUAGE - OCR - awarding body...

ENGLISH LANGUAGEJ351For first teaching in 2015

QualificationAccredited

www.ocr.org.uk/english

Component 01: Communicating information and ideasSection B (Writing)Version 1

GCSE (9–1)Candidate Exemplar Responses

http://www.ocr.org.uk/english

Candidate Exemplar Responses

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GCSE (9–1) English Language

© OCR 2016

ContentsIntroduction 3

Script A

Exemplar Response 4

Commentary 8

Script B

Exemplar Response 9

Commentary 11

Script C

Exemplar Response 12

Commentary 14

Script D


Commentary 18

Script E


Commentary 22

Script F


Commentary 26

Script G


Commentary 28

Script H



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IntroductionThis resource has been produced by a senior member of the GCSE (9–1) English Language examining team to offer teachers an insight into how the assessment objectives are applied. It has taken the two high mark questions from the sample question paper and used them to illustrate how the questions might be answered and provide some commentary on what factors contribute to overall levels.

As these responses have not been through full moderation, they are banded to give an indication of the level of each response.

Please note that this resource is provided for advice and guidance only and does not in any way constitute an indication of grade boundaries or endorsed answers.

The sample assessment material for these answers and commentary can be found on the GCSE (9–1) English Language web page and accessed via the following link: http://www.ocr.org.uk/qualifications/gcse-english-language-j351-from-2015/

http://www.ocr.org.uk/qualifications/gcse-english-language-j351-from-2015/

http://www.ocr.org.uk/qualifications/gcse-english-language-j351-from-2015/


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Write a speech for your class in which you argue that violence is not the solution to conflict between people. In your speech you should: • explain why peaceful solutions are better than violent ones • give some examples to support your argument • convince your audience that violence does not solve conflict. [40]

SCRIPT A


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CommentaryAO5: Level 6; AO6: Level 4

This works on a series of very well linked and interconnected scales and is infused throughout with a lively confidence, wide-ranging knowledge and a tone of well-modulated moral outrage suited to the purpose of the task. The genre and audience have been clearly understood and are focused on consistently in a sophisticated structure. An ambitious range of vocabulary and sentence structures has been deployed to create a series of very effective moments.


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Write a speech for your class in which you argue that violence is not the solution to conflict between people. In your speech you should: • explain why peaceful solutions are better than violent ones • give some examples to support your argument • convince your audience that violence does not solve conflict. [40]

SCRIPT B


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The candidate argues their viewpoint with impressive force and concision. There is a confident sense of the task and an effective head on approach to the audience. The insistent tone is sustained and developed with convincing and detailed examples. The use of a range of vocabulary and sentence structures enhances the piece significantly. More detail and linguistic flair may have helped to move this response in the higher band AO5.


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Write an article for a teenage magazine which gives advice to young people on how to cope with the pressures and stresses of modern life. You are not required to include any visual or presentational features. In your article you should:• identify some of the pressures and stresses that young people face • suggest why these issues may be difficult to deal with • explain some of the ways in which these can be managed. [40]

SCRIPT C


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There is a clear structure to this and the tone/style is not inappropriate. The audience is addressed with some awareness and sensitivity. The expression is clear and secure. In places it lapses into cliché and assertion and the development of argument and idea is limited. More rigorous planning and more thoughtful language choices may have moved this response into a higher band.


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Write an article for a teenage magazine which gives advice to young people on how to cope with the pressures and stresses of modern life. You are not required to include any visual or presentational features. In your article you should:• identify some of the pressures and stresses that young people face • suggest why these issues may be difficult to deal with • explain some of the ways in which these can be managed. [40]

SCRIPT D


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The genre is engaged with a good range of points, some of which are effectively and neatly made. There is a clear sense of the topic and audience throughout. The piece is well organised. In order to move into Level 5, this piece would need to show a more strongly sustained tone and register to enable greater coherence and cohesion.


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Write a speech for your class in which you argue that violence is not the solution to conflict between people.In your speech you should: • •explainwhypeacefulsolutionsarebetterthanviolentones• •givesomeexamplestosupportyourargument• •convinceyouraudiencethatviolencedoesnotsolveconflict. [40]

SCRIPT E


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The response shows an awareness of the task purpose; there is a direct address/appeal to the audience couched in fairly straightforward ways. The style and register aren’t always appropriate and it becomes repetitive towards the end of the piece as it struggles slightly to stay in touch with the purpose. Sentence structures are under control, if limited in their variety. The expression isn’t always secure and there are some punctuation errors. More planning might have improved the final outcome.


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Write an article for a teenage magazine which gives advice to young people on how to cope with the pressures and stresses of modern life. You are not required to include any visual or presentational features.In your speech you should: • identify some of the pressures and stresses that young people face • suggest why these issues may be difficult to deal with • explain some of the ways in which these can be managed. [40]

SCRIPT F


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There is an awareness of purpose and audience, which is sustained throughout. The response lacks a clearly drawn conclusion but the tone and register are basically appropriate. Expression is mostly secure.


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Write a speech for your class in which you argue that violence is not the solution to conflict between people.In your speech you should: • explain why peaceful solutions are better than violent ones • give some examples to support your argument • convince your audience that violence does not solve conflict. [40]

SCRIPT G


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This response has a basic sense of the genre but it is repetitive and disorganised. The expression is insecure.


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Write a speech for your class in which you argue that violence is not the solution to conflict between people.In your speech you should: • explain why peaceful solutions are better than violent ones • give some examples to support your argument • convince your audience that violence does not solve conflict. [40]

SCRIPT H

The

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