Funeral and Estate Planning

BY DAVID M. FITZPATRICKSPECIAL SECTIONS WRITER

When Gary Smith, owner of Brookings-

Smith Funeral Home, entered the funeral

business in the late 1950s, things were very

different. But one thing hasn’t changed.

“Whether it was 50 years ago or whether

it’s today, in my opinion, death is a very

sacred and awesome event,” he said. “It’s just

a matter of how people respond to that.”

In 1950s, planning ahead was rarely con-

sidered. If a loved one died, the family visited

the funeral director to choose a casket from a

fairly limited selection, and then to a monu-

ment company to pick a headstone, also

from a fairly limited selection. The funeral

happened quickly.

“It was pretty automatic: Who are we

going to have for a clergy person, and what

about the traditions and the values of the

family?” Smith recalled.

That was already a dramatic change from

55 years before that. At the turn of the 20th

century, everything happened at home,

including caring for sick or elderly loved

ones. When someone died, the undertakers

came to the home with their equipment,

set up portable tables in the bedroom, and

did the embalming right there. Funeral

services were at home, either in the bed-

room or, for those houses so equipped, in

the parlor. When it was over, the undertaker

placed the body in a casket, loaded it onto a

horse-drawn hearse, and conveyed it to the

cemetery for burial.

Ongoing ChangesBy the 1950s, only about half of funerals

were done that way; the rest were at funeral

homes. Today, funerals rarely happen at

home, and embalming never does. Part of

this is logistical: Many people live in rental

properties, and houses rarely have parlors.

Another part is cultural: People just don’t

want their loved ones embalmed and dis-

played at home.

The prevalence of cremations has changed

dramatically. When Smith started in the

1950s, he handled just one or two cremations

per year. But in 2012, 64 percent of Brook-

ings-Smith funerals were cremations. Accord-

ing to the Cremation Association of North

America, this is up from a national average

of just 15 percent in 1985, and should hit 75

percent before leveling off.

Despite the functional changes over the

years, Smith said that one thing has remained

consistent: the way funeral homes deal with

the living, whether with grieving families or

with those planning their own funerals.

“We really have an awesome responsibility

to meet these needs, and we have one time

to do it — we’ve got to do it right the fi rst

time,” he said. “The idea is to be able to try to

put something together that’s meaningful to

everybody.”

Compared to when Smith started in the

business 55 years ago, preparing for a funeral

today is full of far more options. There are

many more casket, monument, and urn op-

tions, and there are many varied ways loved

ones can memorialize the departed — every-

thing from photos laser-engraved on stones

to jewelry containing bits of cremated re-

mains to part of your loved one being made

into a diamond. Yet while all these options

2 BDN MAINE SPECIAL SECTION • BANGORDAILYNEWS.COM • March 14, 2013

FUNERAL AND ESTATE PLANNING 2013

Funerals (and funeral homes) continue changing with the times

See CHANGES, PAGE 7

BDN MAINE SPECIAL SECTION • BANGORDAILYNEWS.COM • March 14, 2013 3

FUNERAL AND ESTATE PLANNING

BY TRACY J. ROBERTSRUDMAN WINCHELL

As a working mother, I completely under-

stand how busy life can get. You realize that

you need an estate plan to manage your affairs

if something happens to you, but fi nding the

time to actually think about and develop a

plan gets lost in the whirlwind of a day.

Of course, we have all heard about the

online legal-document services that offer

you inexpensive estate-planning documents.

Online document services offer a tempting

bargain. Unfortunately, most people don’t

realize what they are getting themselves into

with an online document service. That’s

because the online document services have

spent millions trying to create the impression

that their services are similar to those of an

attorney. They put lawyers in their commer-

cials, hire celebrities to endorse them, and

even promote stories of people who have

successfully used their documents.

All the marketing in the world, however,

can’t erase the simple truth. The online ser-

vices are not law fi rms. They are not lawyers.

They can’t give legal advice. Instead, they are

“document assistants” — a term that states

use to defi ne service providers who type your

information into generic form documents.

In other words, document assistants are

like robots that enter your information into

forms, whether or not it makes sense and

whether or not it is a good idea. If you make

a mistake, they can’t warn you. If you have

questions, they can’t help you. They can’t

even promise you that your estate plan will

work in the way you envision it. They are not

attorneys, which means they can’t promise a

particular legal result.

This is why I am so excited to be a part of

Rudman Winchell’s new online estate plan-

ning service. By using our online service you

get the ease of using an online tool to create

your estate plan, with the assurances that

an attorney is reviewing your documents.

So, how does this service work? There is a

simple questionnaire that, depending on

your circumstances, takes about 30 minutes

to complete. Once you submit the question-

naire, our offi ce prepares draft estate plan-

ning documents (Will, Power of Attorney,

Advance Health-Care Directive), and your

estate plan is reviewed by one of our estate

planning attorneys. We then email or mail

you drafts for your review. Once the docu-

ments are to your satisfaction, a meeting is

scheduled with either me or another estate

planning attorney in our offi ce to review

your documents to ensure you understand

how your estate plan works and to sign the

documents.

We think you will fi nd this service to be

an easy, convenient and affordable way to

give your family security and peace of mind.

For more information, please visit our Estate

Planning Web site at:

onlinelegal.rudmanwinchell.com.

Rudman Winchell offers Maine’s fi rst estate planning Web site


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BY DAVID M. FITZPATRICKSPECIAL SECTIONS WRITER

Not too many years ago, choosing a head-

stone was an easy task. Unless you were very

rich, you picked from a few stones and gave

the correct spelling of your departed loved

one’s name. Birth and death dates went with

it, and the stonecarver chiseled everything

out and set it in the cemetery. There wasn’t

much variety, but that’s no longer the case.

“What’s really changed in the last 20 years

is before it was basically standardized monu-

ments and memorials,” said A. Michael Regan

of Custom Memorial Designs in Old Town.

“Now it’s more customization. We’re able to

a lot more on a stone than we were able to do

20 years ago.”

Think about it: with the right software, you

can quickly put together party invitations

on your computer, adding clipart, changing

fonts, and choosing colors. Although that

came a bit later to the monument business,

that’s how it’s done today. With specialized

software, a monument company can take you

through everything from font choice and im-

ages to whether you want to add laser-etched

photos and even color. Regan’s software even

shows you what your chosen stone and lay-

out will look like in the cemetery. There’s no

guesswork, and customers know exactly what

they’re getting.

While sandblasting letters is nothing new,

laser etching has transformed the monument

industry. Elegant, intricately designed head-

stones can be purchased for surprisingly low

prices, lending far more than just a name and

dates to memorialize the departed. You can

do any image you can imagine: intertwined

wedding rings for a married couple, a photo

of the deceased etched in black granite, or a

Red Sox logo for a lifelong fan.

This is quite different than it used to

be. Not long ago, monument companies

sketched names, dates, and layouts on paper,

with no way to foresee the exact, fi nal ver-

sion. Today, with “what you see is what you

get” computer design, not only are the per-

sonalization options endless, but the process

is as exactly what you expect. But taking the

Monuments for the departed have become truly monumental

Continued on next page

BANGOR DAILY NEWS PHOTOS BY DAVID M. FITZPATRICK

Left: A. Michael Regan of Custom Memorial Designs demonstrates the design process, which allows for complete customizing and visualization. Right: Chuck

Downes of Bucksport Monuments & Sandblasting removes letters from a rubber mask in preparation for sandblasting the letters’ shapes out of the stone.



time to create it is important, Regan said.

“What we tell families is don’t just im-

mediately design a monument, because that

becomes the focal point,” he said. “Every time

you go back to the cemetery, this is what you

see. You really want that to be as unique as the

person, so take some time to think about it.”

Options abound. If you’d like to add color,

laser etching can produce color scenery. For

long-lasting color, you can print and seal pho-

tos on ceramic plates that are mounted fl ush

with the stone. Basically, these days, you can

imagine it, monument designers can do it.

New things are on the horizon. Already

catching on are ceramic QR codes mounted

on the granite. Just like any QR code, scanning

it with a cell phone takes you to a designated

Web site — such as to a life-tribute Web page.

“The artistry… allows a family to create

that really unique monument that’s as unique

as the person they’re trying to idolize,” said

Regan. “It allows us to really create something

unique — so you go into the cemetery and

not every stone looks alike. It also becomes

therapeutic for families that really want to

design something meaningful.”

Chuck Downes, owner of Bucksport

Monuments & Sandblasting, says that with

all the customizability and uniqueness in the

industry, the one thing that monument com-

panies need customers to do is to come in

early and plan their monuments — instead

of waiting for the family to deal with it when

they’re gone.

“There are so many options, and people

who are grieving — they don’t want [to face]

a million options,” he said. “That’s why we

really try to promote pre-planning for head-

stones. It’s just a smart decision. It saves the

family a lot of grief.”

Downes does the same sort of on-screen

design, and he says the best time to do it is

long before your family has to worry about it.

“If people can come in here, order the

stone they want, design it the way they want

to, make payments on it if they want to —

that saves the family one less decision they

have to make in a time of grieving,” he said.

But there’s something beyond the cost and

the diffi culty of mourning families having to

make those choices: a bit of immortality.

“I just can’t emphasize enough how impor-

tant it is to pre-plan,” Downes said. “Without

that memorial, you will be forgotten. It’s that

simple. I want my great-great-great grand-

children, if they want to fi nd me, to [be able

to] come put a hand on my stone.”

For the immediate generation following a

loved one’s death, he says there’s something

powerful about having that tangible thing,

too — which really touches the heart.

Continued from previous page

See MONUMENTS, PAGE 6

BANGOR DAILY NEWS PHOTOS BY DAVID M. FITZPATRICK

Left: Intricate carvings on a stone at CustomMemorial Designs in Old Town. Center: Chuck Downes, owner of Bucksport Monuments & Sandblasting, with a stone

featuring such carvings on the angled edge. Right: The stone depicts a white angel and a black heart, but it’s all black granite. The polished fi nish makes “black”

granite black; etch, sandblast, or carve out of it, and the resulting much lighter stone offers stark contrast so as to appear black and white.



BY NATHANIEL S. PUTNAM, ESQ.EATON PEABODY

There have been some important changes to both the federal estate

and the Maine estate tax over the past several months. From an estate

planning standpoint, it is important to consider how these changes

might affect you.

The estate tax is imposed on the transfer of wealth from one generation

to the next. If you live or own property in Maine, you need to consider

the potential impact of both the federal estate tax and the Maine estate

tax. The federal and Maine estate taxes are separate, but they are based

on the same rules and legal principals. For example, under both tax laws,

each individual can leave assets to their heirs and benefi ciaries with a

value up to a maximum threshold without owing any estate taxes. This is

often called the “individual estate tax exclusion” or simply the “exclusion

amount.”

The federal estate tax exclusion amount for 2013 is $5.25 million

(subject to infl ationary adjustments). The expiration of a temporary

estate tax law at the end of 2012 resulted in the federal exclusion

amount falling to $1 million. This would have meant that the estate

of any person who was worth more than $1 million at the time of

his or her death would have owed a federal estate tax payment equal

to 55 percent on the excess over $1 million. Fortunately, on January

2, 2013, Congress and the Obama administration agreed to reinstate

the $5 million federal exclusion amount on a permanent basis. Under

current law, if a person’s estate is worth more than this amount, the

excess is subject to the federal estate tax at a rate of 40 percent.

The Maine estate tax exclusion

amount is $2 million. This represents

an increase from the $1 million Maine

exclusion amount that had been in effect

prior to January 1, 2013. Any excess over

$2 million is subject to the Maine estate

tax based on a graduated rate structure

(8 percent on the excess over $2 million

up to $5 million; 10 percent on the ex-

cess over $5 million up to $8 million; 12

percent on the excess over $8 million).

While you may not think these

amounts apply to you, your net worth for estate tax purposes may

be higher than you think. The estate tax is imposed on your “taxable

estate” which includes any assets in which you have an interest at the

time of your death. These include your home, any other real estate

you own, bank and brokerage accounts, assets held in 401(k) plans

and IRAs, and the proceeds from life insurance policies you own that

are payable upon your death.

If you believe you may ultimately be subject to estate taxes, the

good news is that a modest amount of planning can minimize or, in

many cases, eliminate any estate tax liability. Particularly if you have

not reviewed your estate plan in several years, you should consult with

a competent estate planning attorney or other qualifi ed tax profes-

sional to determine how these changes may affect you.

Nathaniel Putnam, Esq. is the Chair of Eaton Peabody’s Estate Plan-

ning and Wealth Transfer practice.

Do recent estate tax changes affect you? MONUMENTS FROM PAGE 5

“When I go visit my relatives that have

passed, when I’m talking to them or praying,

my hand is on the stone,” Downes said. “It’s

like they’re there, whereas if there was no

stone, there’s nothing to be remembered by.”

Even if you plan to be cremated and have

your ashes spread somewhere, Downes says it

can be important to have that everlasting stone

inscribed with your name just so you loved

ones can make that connection with you.

“Mourning is hard enough as it is,” said

Downes. “To have a nice, quiet place where

you can go and just read a name and see an

image on a stone — it really helps in the heal-

ing process.”

BANGOR DAILY NEWS PHOTO BY DAVID M. FITZPATRICK

A stone with a laser-etched color image at

Bucksport Monuments & Sandblasting

Nathan Putnam

are great, it can make for an overwhelming

array of choices for a grieving family in just

a few days.

Meanwhile, family and friends frequently

have to come in from out of town. A lot has

to happen quickly, and the funeral home has

to support the family to make it happen —

and happen on everyone’s busy schedules.

It’s the difference, Smith says, in our modern

world of convenience: We have a lot going

on, and although we must grieve the loss of a

loved one, life for us must still continue.

“For many years… the services were tra-

ditional, based on traditions in the family or

in the church — and when a death occurred,

their world stopped,” Smith said. “That’s no

longer the case.”

That’s not a bad thing, he says; it’s just the

time we live in. Families are more dispersed,

with children living all over the country and

beyond. That three-day period from death

until burial has become a fl eeting window at

a time when grieving families least need to be

rushed.

Family InvolvementPre-planning is the way alleviate these

troubles. You can pick your own casket, urn,

monument, or other amenities, and even

plan your service. You’ll have things how

you want them, and you can involve your

loved ones at an easier time. But regardless

of advanced planning, these days the family

is going to likely handle your funeral very

differently than a few decades ago.

“Family involvement is necessary; I think

it’s therapeutic,” Smith said. “What they seem

to want to make it today is an expression of

the life of that person — more personalized

than it used to be.”

Everyone views a departed loved one

differently, and it’s important that every-

one can help celebrate the life of that loved

one. Families typically display photos today,

something that wasn’t common even 30 years

ago. Today, it’s usual to see screens displaying

photos and videos, and everyone participates

in the celebration of life. From the happy

moments in life to the more mundane events,

people want to share the moments that mat-

tered to them.

“When you can see that expressed at a

service, it’s really meaningful,” Smith said.

“What Dad meant to us or to the grand-

children [are] important times, and they’re

things that we take so much for granted.

Going to the dump, to the grocery store —

nothing really substantive, but it’s just those

little things that happen in the life of a family

that’s so important, and they want to share

that when a death occurs.”

Smith said there are always new things

coming about, and funeral homes have to

embrace them all in order to properly serve

the customer — even if it’s something his

funeral home doesn’t offer.

“I see nothing wrong with that if that’s

what meets their need,” he said. “I mean that

from the bottom of my heart. If that’s what’s

important and meaningful to them, that’s the

way to do it.”

What hasn’t changed is how funeral homes

handle things.

“Compassion. Consideration,” Smith said.

“Customer comes fi rst.”

And when Smith says “Customer comes

fi rst,” he doesn’t sound like a big-box store

parroting something out of its handbook.

He says it with the deepest sincerity, and

with a look in his eyes that tells you that

he’s talking about an absolutely sacred duty.

That’s how any funeral home should be

treating the people they serve, Smith says —

and that’s been a constant for as long as he

can remember.

“It’s no different today than it was then; it’s

just a different way of working with them,” he

said. “I feel we’ve got far more responsibility

today than we ever did.”



CHANGES FROM PAGE 2

Funeral and Estate Planning

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