Welcome back to Fuchs That!, my super-super classy Trailer Park Challenge. Our founder is the super-classy Goochie Fuchs, who would like to remind you that her name rhymes with “Dukes,” and not with any other word you might be thinking of.

Goochie and family talk not too very differently from the way I do: slurred words, dropped consonants, and all. With that said, we’re ready to begin.

The first order of business was to buy Adrian new duds now that he is no longer a gardener. To achieve that end, I sent the family to Cheap Plastic Crap, your one-stop shop for the lowest prices on everything from clothing to furniture to groceries.

Except that it wasn’t.

Here is a screenshot proving that “Buy” does not come up as an option, and that I cannot click on any of the items on sale. I can still have them buy groceries here, but I’m not sure what to do about the rest. Any suggestions?

I couldn’t buy baby clothes off the nifty community lot rack either, even though you’re supposed to be able to if there is a baby in the household or if someone in the shopping party is pregnant, which Goochie is.

The buy-at-home baby clothes teddy bear does work, and that is what I will use.

Speaking of pregnant, it’s time for the official wedding, because, you know, you have to on account of the baby needs a name.

That name is “Fuchs” even though Adrian is older than Goochie because “Landchild That!” is a stupid title.

After the ceremony, the bride took the traditional bubble bath, thereby ensuring a successful a party.

Did you notice the dark-haired girl in the back of the ceremony? That’s Callista Fuchs, and she’s Goochie’s cousin. Well, I say “cousin,” she’s the daughter of Goochie’s mother’s sister, but she bears a strong resemblance to Goochie’s father. Although when I say “father” – you know what? Never mind.

There was a punch barrel at the party, as per regulations.

Callista is quite frankly worried about her cousin being able to take care of herself, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she selflessly offers to move in and help out soon.

We won’t talk about Callista’s landlord’s completely unreasonable expectations about how much rent she will pay and when she will pay it, okay?

I have to admit, Callista has some cause for concern: even with a full fridge, neither Adrian nor Goochie was able to make any food for the better part of one day. As I turned out, some genius had managed to put away a tray of instant meals just as they went green and buzzy. Because they were green and buzzy, they couldn’t be removed as leftovers. Because they were in the fridge, they couldn’t be thrown away. And because the middle shelf of the fridge was full of trash, nothing could come out of it.

I deleted the whole thing with moveobjects and bought a new fridge.

And not too long afterwards, this happened.

GOOCHIE: Adrian Fuchs, you get your pixels over here NOW!

ADRIAN: Of course, darlin’! What do ya wan’ me t’do?

GOOCHIE: Hold still so’s I kin PUNCH you for doin’ this to me!

Afterwards, though, Goochie was much more calm.

GOOCHIE: Aw, isn’t she pretty? Such a sweetie pie. Whaddaya think we should name ‘er?

ADRIAN: How about Imani?

GOOCHIE: “Armani” is much better.

ADRIAN: Er, I think “Armani” is a fashion designer. Not a first name.

GOOCHIE: But Armani is a really famous and classy fashion designer.

Goochie loves being a mother.

GOOCHIE: Who’s my li’l cutie pie, huh? Who’s my punkin? Zit you? Is it? Is it?

ARMANI: (coos)

GOOCHIE: At’s right, you’re my li’l punkin, yes you are!

Goochie does her best to be a good mother. She will feed the baby in preference to bathing, for example.

She picked out Armani’s outfit herself, and she plays with Armani regularly.

Did you know that “Play With” is an option for grown-ups on the baby play mat? The jiggle the toys a bit and the baby grabs for them. It’s cute!

Of course you know that because you’ve had Apartment Life for years and years. But it’s still new to me.

Goochie is pretty much a great mom, except for one thing.

GOOCHIE: Oh Aaaaaaaa-drian! Your daughter needs her diaper changed!

ADRIAN: Wait, whaddaya mean, “my daughter”? She’s your daughter too!

ADRIAN: Goochie? Goochie, come back here an’ change the baby!

GOOCHIE: Sorry – carpool’s here!

ADRIAN: GOOCHIE, DON’ YOU LEAVE ME HERE WITH THIS DIAPER TO CHANGE!

GOOCHIE: Carpool! Gotta go! Bye! (to driver) Go! Gogogogogo! Step on it!

They always make up though – Adrian can’t stay mad at Goochie for very long.

GOOCHIE: Oh Aaaaaa-dri-aaaaaan! I’m lying on the bed here in nothin’ but my skiv-vies!

ADRIAN: On my way, hon. I just hafta turn on the radio.

GOOCHIE: No you do-on’t! Not if you wanna woo-hoo!

ADRIAN: You’re right, I sure don’t.

This was a Try For Baby effort, because I need three pregnancies minimum, but I honestly couldn’t tell you if there was a lullaby or not. I guess we’ll find out together next time, right?

Until next time, Happy Simming!