From Shame to Resilience: Supporting Muslim Female Domestic Violence Survivors

Pakistani Australian Women’s Association

Domestic Violence in Faith/Spiritual Based Multicultural Communities Symposium

23 October 2017Centre for Islamic Thought & Education, University of South Australia

Acknowledgement of Country

On behalf of PAWA, we acknowledge that we are meeting on the traditional country of the

Kaurna people of the Adelaide Plains and pays respect to Elders past and present

Mariam HiiSupporter of PAWA

Pakistani Australian Women’s Association

Source: A Grounded Theory of Shame and Resilience in Adulthood by Jessica Van Villet from University of Alberta

Applying Shame and Resilience Grounded

Theory to the context of a Muslim DV Survivor

Community Shame and SELF

Community Shame and SELF

Significance of PAWA (Culturally and Spiritually Safe Space)

Connecting Refocusing Accepting Understanding Resisting

Leaving Violence: Islamic Rights = Human Rights

COMMUNITY SHAME & SELF

SHAME

COMMUNITY SHAME & SELF

SHAMEShame to Resilience

Staged Approach: From SHAME to RESILIENCE

1. CONNECTING: Finding allies; Socialising with others; Talking to others; Participating in counseling; Connecting to a higher power; Repairing relationships.

High Vulnerability and Need for Unconditional Acceptance

• Linkage to DV support services (social and DV support group, family support services, legal aid, court services, counseling, emergency relief, etc)

• PAWA providing cultural and spiritual support for diverse Muslim women (Culturally & Spiritually Safe Space – Unconditional Acceptance)

Cultural support and emergency relief – Islamically halal food, culturally appropriate clothes, emergency cash & phone sim cards, household donations, etc

Spiritual support – non-obligatory regular prayer sessions for spiritual solace

DV survivors as their own Agents of Change

(Autonomy & Dignity)

High Vulnerability and Need for Unconditional Acceptance

• Non-judgmental DV and spiritual counseling (High Self and Community Shame) DV counsellor Fears and Beliefs: - being stereotyped as an ‘oppressed Muslim woman’- disclosure of abuse equals violation of her Islamic responsibility to respect

her husband's privacy and Allah/God will condemn her for it

Religious spiritual leader Believing perpetrator’s justification as follows:- God-ordained wife beating as ‘discipline’ for a ‘disobedient’ wife- loss of children’s custody from Islamic court if seeking divorce- ‘unfit’ mother, wife and Muslim women- disclosure of abuse equals violation of her Islamic responsibility to respect her husband's privacy and Allah/God will condemn her for it - bogus Hadith (religious text) about women bowing to men

Vulnerability of converts to Spiritual Abuse,

Isolation and Stigma

Reference: http://projectsakinah.org/Family-Violence/Understanding-Abuse/The-Muslim-Wheel-of-Domestic-Violence

Staged Approach: From SHAME to RESILIENCE

2. REFOCUSING: Shifting priorities; Working on self-improvement; Clearing away negativity; Focusing on action.

Critical Support for Action

• Setting goals, staying positive and self-improvement to regain Power and Control (DV). • Fresh Start by distancing from harm and shame (moving to a new neighbourhood,

changing children’s school, change social circles, etc)

PAWA (Culturally & Spiritually Safe Space)- interpreting and translation (requested by DV survivors), court support, pro-bono immigration support (PAWA), multicultural liaison police, counsellors, Family & Community Services, safe, etc- transport and child minding support during court sessions, employment, etc- dealing with extended family (where relevant)- start attending PAWA’s religious and social gathering, volunteering for PAWA, etc- critical safety measures (identity protection)

Staged Approach: From SHAME to RESILIENCE

3. ACCEPTING: Accepting the situation; Facing one’s feelings; Expressing one’s feelings.

4. UNDERSTANDING: Understanding external factors; Developing insight into oneself; Separating from the shame; Creating meaning.

Gradual Healing and Letting Go

• Reframe self-judgement to self-awareness for self-compassion (“I am bad” to “Something bad has happened to me” Perpetrator is the Victim and she is the Survivor )

• Externalisation of blame and shame to reclaim Power and Control (DV).

PAWA – higher attendance of PAWA’s religious and social gathering, volunteering for PAWA, supporting other DV survivors, etc.

Increased participation for wellbeing of SELF and CHILDREN (employment, education, parenting classes, social activities and stronger continuation of using support services)

Staged Approach: From SHAME to RESILIENCE

5. RESISTING: Rejecting negative judgments; Asserting oneself; Challenging others.

Finding ‘Closure’ and Moving On

• Questioning uncertainties of Islamic divorce in Australia and risk of meeting perpetratorin the process of divorce

• Challenging the stigma of being a single parent and a divorced Muslim woman

• Distancing or reconnecting with cultural and/or religious community

• Continuous self-care for emotional resilience (positive coping strategies when retraumatised) – PAWA as a Culturally & Spiritually Safe Space

• Asserting the narrative of a Violence Free Life as an ‘Islamic Rights = Human Rights’

1. Recognising DV survivors as their own Agents of Change (Autonomy and

Dignity)

2. Connecting and Refocusing stages are critical Resource-building time

(sense of confidence, power and self-esteem)

3. Utilising Culturally & Spiritually Safe Care (PAWA in collaboration with

other service providers)

4. Understanding Vulnerability and Risk factors (including converts)

5. Practicing Duty of Care (including service providers working respectfully

with PAWA)

6. Minimising ‘Lost in Translation and Interpretation’

7. Setting Risk Management and Boundaries (PAWA and DV survivors)

Final Insights

Azra Misbahmuddin AhmedSecretary of PAWA

Pakistani Australian Women’s Association

Sarah, a Bangladeshi Muslim lady has just delivered her first child

when she was referred to PAWA by St George Migrant Resource

Centre, Sydney.

Her son was taken into care by Family and Community Services (FACS)

and she has no support as she was an International student.

After she has recovered from her injuries, she stayed at a women’s

refuge centre. PAWA’s DV sub-committee members supported her.

Case Study: Sarah (not her real name)

– A Bangladeshi mother with a new born baby

1. Emergency Relief and DV service collaboration

• provided halal home cook food and donations (clothing and

furniture)

• translated and acted as interpreters when requested by her

(coordination with community service organisations, court

support, medical appointments and NSW Family and Community

Services – FACS)

• supported her at a FACS’ reconciliation meeting for the return of

her baby and clarified the misunderstanding of the term “rocking”

and “shaking” her baby as a Bangladeshi English speaker

• Provided PAWA’s pro-bono migration support and advocacy letters

2. Cultural, Social and Emotional Support

• provided constant emotional consolation and reassured her

with phone calls during the night

• provided transportation or accompanied her in the train to legal

and medical appointments

• provided emotional support to testify in court

• convinced her extended family on her safety and the reality of

her situation

• invited her to community events and celebrated her child’s

birthdays

• Be the Muslim family she needed

2. Cultural, Social and Emotional Support (continuation)

• conducted regular home visits and provided parenting support

for her sick baby

• introduced her to other DV survivors of PAWA

3. Spiritual Support

• invited her to our regular spiritual classes and performed group

prayers at her home

• arranged for religious advice from scholars regarding her

request for divorce

The Success story:

• regained custody of her child

• obtained her Permanent Residency visa status

• received her driver’s license and drives her own car now

• recently visited her parents overseas with her child

• resumed her studies

• started selling cultural clothes from home

• become a resilient, loving mother and a sister to us all

Case Study: Sarah (not her real name)

– A Bangladeshi mother with a new born baby

Rana SyedPresident of PAWA

Pakistani Australian Women’s Association

PAWA started as a social support group over a decade ago but has

over the recent years grown into a community organisation which

provides cultural and spiritual support for Muslim Female DV

survivors in collaboration with other DV service providers.

PAWA’s Journey in supporting Muslim Female DV survivors

1. Formation of DV Sub-committee

Strengths and roles of DV sub-committee

• division of workload from referrals received

• five members who are multilingual in Urdu, Hindi and

Bengali

• various background with skills in community development,

IT and teaching

• some of them are themselves DV survivors

1. Formation of DV Sub-committee (continuation)

DV risk assessment training and professional development

• attended DV risk assessment and legal aid training courses

provided by St George Migrant Resource Centre, Sydney

• opportunities working with other DV service providers and

educate DV survivors on their roles and the police

• seek continuous training and networking opportunity such

as this conference to learn and share our experiences

2. Managing DV Risk Management and Boundaries

Duty of care towards the DV sub-committee

Our lessons learned and future improvements:

• not meeting DV survivors at home but at public places

• using PAWA’s phone number for confidentiality and safety

• not accepting all referrals due to limited capacity

• future debriefing with pro-bono counsellors

2. Managing DV Risk Management and Boundaries (continuation)

Protecting identity of DV survivors

• not sharing their cases with PAWA members or publicly

3. Advocacy and Funding

• meet Minister of Parliament to represent the community and

raise the issues faced by DV survivors (housing, etc)

• received a small grant from a Local Council for purchase of

equipment (projector and notebook)

4. Fundraising and Sustainability

Islamic zakat and sadaqah charity contribution

• special fund using the Islamic charitable model

• supported the driving lessons of a DV survivor who has a daughter as this further encouraged the completion of her nursing course and ensured her safety as she comes home late from classes and work.

• criteria of this funding distribution is based on vulnerability level agreed by the PAWA committee (single mother with children, no Centrelink welfare access, isolated without family support, etc)

5. Social Programs and Training

• free social activities or training including PAWA’s programs

to build their social network, skills and confidence

For example, some of them started their own businesses

in food catering and clothing alteration with the support of

PAWA

6. Mobilising Young People

• started a youth group to support PAWA’s fundraising

• organised a soccer match on White Ribbon Day to engage

young people to be involved in DV prevention

7. Involving Men as Supporters

• formed a men’s group to encourage men to join PAWA's activities

as a family approach

• men play an important role to support our women-led committee

• sends a message that it is NOT OK to be violent against women

and children; and it is UNISLAMIC

Two honorary and active male members of PAWA from Sydney:

Mr Asif Syed

– provided pro-bono immigration support and advocacy letters

Mr Sharif Misbahmuddin Ahmed

– a White Ribbon Advocate

Thank You

Pakistani Australian Women’s Association