Fran Lang Productions, LLC · Reinventing Momma By Fran Lang A grandmotherly woman dyes her hair,...
Transcript of Fran Lang Productions, LLC · Reinventing Momma By Fran Lang A grandmotherly woman dyes her hair,...
Fran Lang Productions, LLC
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SAMPLE
Reinventing Momma
By
Fran Lang
A grandmotherly woman dyes her hair, catches a crook,
and reinvents herself with her daughter.
(c) Fran Lang 2008, 2012 Fran Lang Productions (TM)
P.O. Box 430
Somersworth, NH 03878
SAMPLE
NARRATOR:
Our story takes place in a suburb of Seattle,
Washington. Ruth Jordan is a typical suburban resident
enjoying the activities and events of the local
community which she and her friends attend. It is quiet
and peaceful and Ruth is content with her lifestyle.
Then something happens to change all that. Here she is
sitting at the kitchen table with her friend, Angela,
drinking coffee. It is 10 o’clock in the morning.
RUTH:
This morning I did two loads of laundry, emptied the
dishwasher, and checked my e-mail on the computer. I
think that’s enough household chores for today. How
about you, Angela?
ANGELA:
I read my horoscope, listened to the news on TV, and
folded up the laundry that I did yesterday. Then I came
over here. There is nothing urgent that needs my
attention, Ruth.
RUTH:
So what do you want to do today?
ANGELA:
There is a band concert at Forrester High School.
RUTH:
No, we did that last month. How about a movie?
ANGELA:
There’s nothing that I want to see. Say, how is your
daughter, Judy, doing?
RUTH:
She is still between jobs and between husbands. She’s
staying with me until she finds another job or a new
boyfriend, whichever comes first. I think she’s ready
to dangle the bait and pull in the catch on one man
she’s been dating recently.
ANGELA:
I think Judy is kinda cute. She lives an exciting life.
RUTH:
Well, so do we! Hey, I just thought of something. Let’s
invite Brenda and Harriet to come here and we’ll play
cards this afternoon.
ANGELA:
Good idea. I’ll bring the dessert.
SAMPLE
2.
NARRATOR:
The ladies played cards all afternoon. They got caught
up with the latest gossip, told a few dirty jokes and
squealed with laughter, and forgot what was trump at
least seven times. It is now five o’clock and Ruth is
sitting in the living room waiting for Judy to come
home.
JUDY:
Hi, Momma! How was your day today?
RUTH:
Just lovely. Played cards all afternoon. Did you have
any luck, Judy?
JUDY:
In finding a new job, no, Momma. But in finding a new
romance, yes,
(sigh)
oh yes! I had lunch with Casper.
RUTH:
Casper van Cleet?
JUDY:
Yes, Momma.
(pause)
Isn’t that a romantic sounding name? This time it’s for
real. He is such a gorgeous hunk of a man. I am really,
truly in love!
RUTH:
How can you tell when you’re in love, Judy?
JUDY:
(speaks slowly as if visualizing the
scene)
When he touches my hand, it makes my skin crawl. My
fingers tingle. My knees shake. When he looks into my
eyes, my stomach goes flip-flop.
RUTH:
You remind me of the bionic woman whose joints must
creak and rattle. Are you sure you haven’t added any
body parts that I don’t know about?
JUDY:
(laughs)
Listen, Momma, besides being good-looking, I think he’s
very rich. You remember what it was like for me when I
married Johnnie. We were so poor, I helped him get
ahead in the world, and he dumps me for that ugly
redhead. This time I want a man who is pre-packaged.
That means already rich.
SAMPLE
Fran Lang Productions, LLC
THIS SAMPLE OF THE PLAY HAS BEEN MODIFIED.
A MAJOR PORTION OF THE TEXT/SCRIPT HAS BEEN REMOVED.
SAMPLE
17.
CASPER:
Yes, perhaps another time. What I have in mind concerns
a certain company that has some stock options that will
soon go public. However, we have been able to favor a
few of our valuable clients who will be allowed to buy
shares now before it hits the market. You understand
what I am talking bout, Miz Jordan?
RUTH:
Oh, yes. It is perfectly clear that you are just the
man I wanted to talk to. You just confirmed what I
suspected. Before I came here, I checked your
background on the Internet and, yes, your company does
have a national reputation. That is, a reputation for
scams and fraudulent schemes that you’ve been lucky
enough to get away with. How can you do this to
gullible, innocent people who turn over their life
savings to you because you feed them with false
promises. Oh, you’re good, Mr. van Cleet. You’re very
good at what you do. Is it true that you rent this
fancy office for six months and then move on?
CASPER:
(outburst of anger)
Miz Jordan! I resent those words! What kind of game are
you playing? Are you here to invest money or not?
RUTH:
Invest money? No. But investi-GATE? Yes! I have a
friend who is waiting outside. He is anxious to talk to
you. You may have heard of him. At least he knows a lot
about you. I want you to meet my friend, Barney
Anderson. . . the ATTORNEY GENERAL!
NARRATOR:
The scene shifts back to Momma’s house. She tells Judy
what happened.
JUDY:
Momma, I can’t believe you did that! That is the most
amazing story I ever heard -- my mother, the crime
fighter! Is that what happens when you reinvent
yourself? Weren’t you scared?
RUTH:
Of course I was. I didn’t know if I would be making a
fool of myself or be embarrassed and say something
stupid. I didn’t know if he’d throw me out of the
office. I almost lost my nerve, but from what you told
me about his money-making scheme, I sure wasn’t going
to let your boyfriend bilk you out of your five
thousand dollars. After talking to my friend, Barney,
the Attorney General, I knew he would be there to catch
me if I got tossed out of the office.
SAMPLE
18.
JUDY:
Casper? Casper was running scams? He seemed like such a
nice man. He looked so honest and trustworthy. He was
going to get a divorce, Momma. He told me that. He said
he’s helped hundreds of people become rich. Imagine, I
could have doubled my money in three to six months! How
could I have been fooled so easily by all his sweet
talk?
RUTH:
I’m sorry, Judy. Common sense takes a back seat when
love is running the show.
JUDY:
(sigh)
I lost a boyfriend. I almost lost my money, but I still
have it, thanks to you. It’s like a GIFT. Let’s
celebrate. Why don’t we spend it on -- I know! Quick!
Get the map. Spread it out on the table. Close your
eyes, Momma. Point your finger. Touch the map. There.
What does it say?
RUTH:
Istanbul.
JUDY:
ISTANBUL? Where is that?
RUTH:
Looks down at map.
Turkey.
JUDY:
Points to Ruth.
NOW, Momma. Do it NOW! Do something you never did
before!
RUTH:
(talking on phone)
American Airlines? I want two round-trip tickets to . .
ISTANBUL, TURKEY!
They hug and dance back to their seats.
END
SAMPLE