Descriptive & Narrative WritingFoundations of Writing II

DESCRIPTION

Which story would you rather read? Why?

When I got up this morning, I had a good breakfast. Then I took the kids to school and went to work, which I hate. After work was school, which was long. Later I picked up the kids. We had dinner, I did my homework, and we went to bed.

This morning I awoke with a craving for omelets and bacon, so I treated myself and my kids. With the aroma of bacon lingering in the air, I rounded up the little rascals and dropped them off at Hogwarts Elementary before heading a few blocks further to my prison cell cubicle at ABC Company. Thankfully, it was only a half day for me, and at noon I darted out to join my Foundations of Writing II class at Globe University. Despite the activities, class dragged on forever, and 4 o’clock seemed light years away. It finally came, though, and as soon as I wrangled my kids, made a pot of Mac & Cheese, tucked them in, and finished my assignment, I finally had some free time. Unfortunately, by that time it was nearly midnight, and I was sprawled out on the couch, resisting sleep—as I knew tomorrow would bring the same routine!

Traits of Descriptive Writing• Appeals to the senses

◦ Describes things in ways you can smell, see, hear, taste, and touch◦ Ex. Airplane

◦ Smell: Jet fuel, the person next to you?◦ See: Seats, wings, cockpit◦ Hear: Crying children, captain over the intercom, whirring engine◦ Taste: Free mini-packages of pretzels, $10 drink◦ Touch: Knees pressed up against seat in front of you, person next

to you hogging arm rest, head hitting ceiling when you stand

• Uses concrete, specific nouns◦ Ex. Lieutenant vs. officer◦ Ex. Sedan vs. car◦ Emphasizes people, places, and things more than ideas

Traits of Descriptive WritingUses specific, unique descriptions (adjectives and

adverbs)◦ Ex. Pot-bellied stove, smiled icily ◦ Avoid abstract descriptions, whenever possible, like

“good,” “beautiful,” “evil,” etc.◦ Weak: My daughter has a beautiful smile.◦ Stronger: My daughter has straight, porcelain teeth and

full lips that seem to extend to her ears.

Sometimes, incorporates brand names◦ Adds specificity, but over-branding can become

overwhelming or annoying◦ Ex. .44 Magnum vs. gun

Traits of Descriptive Writing• Varies in verb choice• Use a thesaurus!• Ex. Wrecked vs. dead, glimpsed vs. saw, emerged vs. got

out of, etc.

• The Writer’s Motto: Show Don’t Tell• Lead your reader to where you want to be• Allow him/her to figure out what happened by setting the

scene• Weak: My dad was angry.• Stronger: The vein in my dad’s forehead was bulging.

As he yelled, bits of foam began to gather at the corners of his mouth.

Descriptive Example (CD)

Organizing DescriptionSpatially

◦ Move right to left, top to bottom◦ Useful when describing physical attributes of a person, place, or

thing◦ Ex. George the Cowboy

Chronologically◦ Recall events in time order◦ Useful when describing a process; also useful when telling a story

◦ Ex. My Eventful Ride to Work

• Order of Importance• Start and/or end on most important/dominant trait(s)• Useful when you are providing a catalog of specific (sometimes

diverse) descriptions about something• The Different Personalities on my Hockey Team

General Tips• Consider Tone and Audience• Who will be reading your description? What kind of description

will be most effective for your intended reader?• Match you word choice to your mood, your mood to your crowd

• Attributes• With the emphasis on concrete vs. specific words, it may be

easy to forget about non-physical attributes• As often as you write about the color or shape of something, try

to be specific about the feelings, motives, and fears of your subject, too.• Ex. Physical attributes: straight hair, white walls• Ex. Non-physical attributes: kind to strangers, cavern-like

atmosphere

General Tips• Examples• Draw on particular instances/examples over long-standing

generalities• Often help keep your writing concrete (showing) vs. abstract

(telling)• Weak: My son hates doing his homework.• Stronger: Each night, when I tell him to do his homework,

my son stamps his feet and wails for at least thirty minutes.

• Perspective• As the narrator, always remember where you are in space and

time• Move on to descriptions of new people or places only after you

have made it explicitly clear the scene is changing

NARRATION

The Inverted Checkmark:The Structure of a Story

• Rising Action• Small Crisis• Falling Action

• Continued Rising Action• Larger Crisis• Falling Action

• Critical Rising Action• Climax• Denouement

Addressing the 5 Ws

• By the end of your piece, the reader should have a good idea of the 5 Ws/1 H

• Ex. The Three Little Pigs• Who: Three pigs• What: They need to build houses to protect themselves from the

wolf• Where: A magical land where pigs build their own homes• When: A magical time when pigs build their own homes• Why: To teach reader importance of doing something well the

first time• How: Show two failures (taking short cuts) and one success

(taking time/effort)

• Try to show rather than tell as much as you can

Point of View

• First-Person: “I”• Started becoming common in late 1800s and onward• I am the narrator of my own story

• Second-Person: “You”• Very modern/postmodern• Used in experimental work; rare• Whole story is what “you” (often reader—but not always)

do

Point of View

• Third Person: “He/She”• Omniscient:• Oldest form of narration• Follows events and consciousness of multiple people

• Limited:• Use came into fashion between 3rd Person Omniscient

and 1st person• Follows events and consciousness of one person

(primarily), but narrator is a separate being

CD/Textbook Tips

CD/Textbook Tips

CD/Textbook Tips

CD/Textbook Tips

CD/Textbook Tips

Activities

• Working together in small groups:• Create a narrative that tells the story of the picture on

pg. 128• Make sure you• Determine the 5Ws & 1H• Use all 5 senses in your description• Try to create build tension and create a story that

adheres to the Inverted Checkmark structure• Aim for at least 1 notebook page

• As a large group:• Share the principles that make your story a strong piece

of descriptive & narrative writing