Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
-
Upload
melissa-reeves -
Category
Documents
-
view
221 -
download
0
Transcript of Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
-
8/10/2019 Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
1/25
Foster Care: The Basics...........................3
When your Child Arrives..........................7
Problems and Challenges.......................12
Rules and Expectations..........................16
Grief and Loss.......................................19
Conclusion............................................24
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
-
8/10/2019 Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
2/25
The arrival of a new foster child in your house can be atime of excitement, as well as anxiety. The phone call from a
caseworker asking if you would like a foster child placed in your
home can leave you in a state of apprehension. It is often a time of
questions, from you and your family, as well as from the foster child
For the child coming into your home, it is especially an intimidating
period. Remember, this new foster child is being moved, against hiswishes, to a strange home, and to an unknown family. While each
child is unique, it is difficult to predict how each new foster child wi
react to this sudden and extreme change. Yet, with a little
preparation and planning beforehand, you can ease the stress that
sure to occur in this transition a little.
Foster Parenting: A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care
The arrival of a new
foster child in your
house can be a timeof excitement, as
well as anxiety .
http://www.linkedin.com/https://twitter.com/https://www.facebook.com/DrJohnDeGarmo -
8/10/2019 Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
3/25
Being a foster parent might just very well be the hardest
challenge you ever undertake. At the same time, your job as afoster parent might also be the most rewarding mission you
ever do, as well. There are those who say that foster parenting
is Heartwork, as it is a job that takes a great deal of
commitment from your heart. Without a doubt, there will be
those moments when you are simply exhausted, drained, and
even frustrated. Yet, there will also be those moments whenyou are overwhelmed with laughter, joy, and love. Foster
parenting will bring out all of these emotions, and so much
more. As a foster parent, you have the opportunity to help
these children in need. as you not only invest in the future of a
child, you are also changing the life of that child , as well.
CHAPTER 1:Foster Care: The Basics
Foster Parenting: A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care
http://www.linkedin.com/https://twitter.com/https://www.facebook.com/DrJohnDeGarmo -
8/10/2019 Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
4/25
Foster care is a form of placement for children who
are in need of being placed in a home or environment
outside of their home of origin. This placement is a 24 hour
substitute care for these children, while they are placed
outside their own home. During the time a foster child is
placed in a foster home, the birth family is assigned a case
plan. Each case plan is different, according to the challenges
that the family faces, according to the reasons the child is
placed into foster care. It is the goal of each case plan for a
foster child to be reunited with the birth family or family
members.
As foster care is intended to be a temporary
placement, the time frame in a foster home varies from one
foster child to the next, with some staying only one day to
other staying as long as a couple of years. The average
amount of time a foster child spends in the foster care
system is 28.6 months in length, with half of all foster
children being placed in another home for a year or more.
Foster Parenting: A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care
-
8/10/2019 Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
5/25
Children are placed under foster care for a number of
reasons. Many of these reasons overlap, with the childsuffering from numerous mental and emotional challenges.
These reasons may include one or more of the following
reasons.
Neglect
Physical Abuse Parental Drug/Alcohol Abuse
Child Drug/Alcohol Abuse
Domestic Violence
Inadequate Housing
Incarceration Death of a Parental Member/Provider
Abandonment
For more foster care information and resources, visit:
http://drjohndegarmofostercare.weebly.com/
Foster Parenting: A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care
http://drjohndegarmofostercare.weebly.com/http://drjohndegarmofostercare.weebly.com/ -
8/10/2019 Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
6/25
-
8/10/2019 Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
7/25
Chapter 2:
When your Child Arrives
Getting a house ready for a foster child is moreextensive, though. You are responsible for providing a
safe and healthy home environment for your child.
Your home must be one that offers a feeling of
security, as well as one that is welcoming to your new
foster child. Having a checklist ready before you foster
child arrives is important. Maybe your checklist willlook something like this:
Foster Parenting: A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care
-
8/10/2019 Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
8/25
-
8/10/2019 Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
9/25
The first impression you create with your fosterchild is often vitally important to how the next few
days and weeks will transpire. Without a doubt, he is
full of questions, as emotions swirl within him. No
matter how much this child has been abused, whether
it is physically or emotionally, your foster child will
want to their mother and father back. After all, these
people have been the most important people in his
life.
Foster Parenting: A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care
-
8/10/2019 Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
10/25
Along with this, he has lost his familiar pattern ofliving, his home, his friends, and all that made up his
own personal world. Although it is impossible to
predict how he will react when he first meets you, it is
important that you approach this time with caution
and care. Each childs placement is different. What isimportant is that you do not judge your foster child
based on his arrival and appearance. However they
arrive, they will need your patience, your time, and
your love.
Foster Parenting: A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care
Find Dr.John
DeGarmo on
Facebookformore Foster
Care Tips
https://www.facebook.com/DrJohnDeGarmohttps://www.facebook.com/DrJohnDeGarmo -
8/10/2019 Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
11/25
When he arrives, try to make him feel a little
more comfortable and ease his anxiety with some of
the tips:
-Helping him with his luggage
-Introduce him to other members of the family
-Give him a tour of your house
-Show him where he will sleep, and where he will keep
his belongings
-Have a nightlife ready in his room and in the nearest
bathroom-Offer him some food; perhaps milk and cookies
-Allow him time alone to adjust, and to grieve
-Read him a bed time story
Foster Parenting: A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care
-
8/10/2019 Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
12/25
Chapter 3:
Problems and Challenges
The placement of a child into your foster home is
a life changing experience for a foster child.
Placement disruption is the term used when a child is
removed from a home and placed into the custody of
a child welfare agency, and thus into a foster home.For many, it is a frightening time, as the fear of the
unknown can quickly overwhelm a child. Others are
filled with anger, as they emotionally reject the idea of
being separated from their family members.
Foster Parenting: A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care
-
8/10/2019 Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
13/25
Feelings of guilt may also arise within the foster
child, as the child may believe that he or she may have
had something to do with the separation from the
birth and/or foster family. Some children experience
self doubt, as they feel that they simply did not
deserve to stay with their family. For all, it is atraumatic experience that will forever alter the lives of
foster children.
Many times, children placed into foster care
suffer from a number of issues. These may include:
Anxiety Disorders
Depression Disorders
Anger
Mental Health
School Performance/Misbehavior
For more, email
drjohndegarmo
@gmail.com to
sign up for Dr.
DeGarmos
Foster Care Blog
Foster Parenting: A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care
mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected] -
8/10/2019 Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
14/25
He will also need time from you; time for
someone to listen to him, to guide him, and time toinstruct and teach him. It will also be very important
for his mental well being if you give him the time to
laugh, to play, and most importantly, time to be cared
for and loved.
Each time a foster child comes to live with you
and your family, it will be a unique and a special
experience. At the same time, each child will be
different, and may have different challenges andproblems. You are sure to have surprises from time to
time, and some placements may even be challenging
and disruptive. Preparation, a welcoming smile, and
the passage of time will help your family and your
foster child during this time of transition.
Grab the book The Foster
Parenting Manual: A
Practical Guide to Creating a
Loving, Safe, and Stable
Home.
Foster Parenting: A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care
-
8/10/2019 Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
15/25
As soon as you are able, take some time to sitdown with him, and discuss the rules of your home, as
well as your expectations of him. Listen to him, and
encourage him to ask questions. Allow him to talk
about his birth family, and do not judge them for their
actions. This is an important time for your family, as
you begin to form a relationship with your foster child.
Spend time with him, and try to get to know him; his
likes and dislikes, his fears and concerns, his hopes
and dreams.
Foster Parenting: A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care
Find more Foster Care info on the
Foster Care Resource Facebook page
https://www.facebook.com/DrJohnDeGarmo -
8/10/2019 Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
16/25
-
8/10/2019 Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
17/25
There is a good chance that any rules and
expectations you have for your foster child will not be met. It
may take awhile, but as a foster parent, you are in it for the
long, tough haul. Make no mistake, is often times tough.
You just might be the first adults in their lives who will not
give up on them. They may resist you, and may resist all
that you have to offer. This is normal for a foster child.
Remember, they may very well not want to be in your home,
as it is not their own home. They may not want to be living
with your family when they come to you, as it is not theirown family, and you cant expect them to embrace you and
your family immediately, or even to like you.
With this in mind, it is important to set up some rules
and expectations, though, early on with your foster child. As
expectations and rules may make or break your foster child,you need to be realistic with your expectations from the
child. When establishing rules in your household with your
foster child, it is important that you continue to stick to the
rules you already have established.
Foster Parenting: A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care
-
8/10/2019 Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
18/25
It is important that you include your foster child
into your family, and into your routine. Before
expecting too much from him, give him some time
alone to become comfortable with his new home,
family, and surroundings. Allow him time to observeyour familys routine before expecting him to actively
participate. Some of your routines might be informal,
such as dinner time habits, cleaning his room, respect
for others when speaking, etc. If he has questions
about your familys routine, answer them honestly,
and at a level he can understand. Let him know whyyou do such activities in your house.
Foster Parenting: A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care
http://drjohndegarmofostercare.weebly.com/http://drjohndegarmofostercare.weebly.com/https://www.facebook.com/DrJohnDeGarmo -
8/10/2019 Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
19/25
Chapter 5:
Grief and Loss
There are times when the removal of a foster
child from care may come suddenly, and without anyprior warning. You may only have a few days, or even
a few hours, before your foster child is to move. This
may be due to a court order, health reasons, or
placement into another foster home. Other times,
plenty of notice is given to the foster parents
beforehand. Whenever you are told, there will sure to
be emotions involved, for both you and the foster
child.
Foster Parenting: A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care
-
8/10/2019 Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
20/25
As a foster parent, there may be those children you do
not have strong attachments to, due to emotional or
behavioral issues, yet an attachment with these children is
still made, nonetheless. Some foster children will be so
difficult, that you may even ask for them to be removed.
Still, other foster children will steal your heart, and will
become a dear and cherished member of your family,
leaving you heartbroken. When any foster child leaves your
home, no matter the level of attachment, there will be
emotions when it is time to say goodbye, for both you and
the child. Rest assured, many foster parents do feel grief
during the removal of their foster child, as the child has
come to be an important and loved member of their family.
After all, the removal of a foster child from a foster home is
akin to a loss, and any loss can cause grieving.
For more, email
drjohndegarmo
@gmail.com to
sign up for Dr.DeGarmos
Foster Care Blog
Foster Parenting: A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care
mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected] -
8/10/2019 Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
21/25
Whenever a loved one leaves home, emotions of grief
and sadness are normal. Other times, though, a foster
parent may be angry with the removal, as the parent mayfeel that the new placement is not in the best interest of the
child. Pointing this out to the child will only upset him
further. It is necessary for you, as a foster parent, to
remember that you are not in charge of the situation, as it is
often a decision that is made in the court.
According to Kubler-Ross' well known stages of grief
(1969), there are seven stages of grief These same feelings
may be felt by your foster child when he is removed from his
own home, and first placed in yours. These stages include:
-Shock
-Denial
-Anger
-Guilt
-Bargaining
-Depression -Acceptance
Foster Parenting: A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care
-
8/10/2019 Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
22/25
For those foster parents who are grieving the loss of a
child from their home, it is important to find ways to help
resolve this grief. Perhaps the most important step they can
take to aid in this time of loss is to surround themselves with
a support group. Many times, foster parent associations fill
this role. Churches and loved one may also provide this type
of support. Within these groups, foster parents will have
the opportunity to express their grief without feelings of
embarrassment or judgment.
Many foster parents choose to put their feelings of
loss and grief to paper and pen, writing down their
emotions in a journal or diary. This allows the grieving
foster parent the chance to release the feelings in a more
private manner, yet release them, never the less. For some,grief and loss may lead to physical health issues, such as
stress, fatigue, and tension. Regular exercise, enough sleep
at night, and healthy eating habits are essential in
combating these issues.
Foster Parenting: A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care
-
8/10/2019 Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
23/25
Specific calendar dates may also trigger overwhelming
feelings of grief and loss. Birthdays, holidays, and certainmilestones for the foster child and family may revive
memories and feelings. Foster parents suffering from loss
need to be aware of this beforehand, and prepare
themselves for these feelings.
If you do have contact with your former foster child,
consider contacting the child. Call him on the phone andallow him to tell you all about his new home and family.
Encourage your own children to speak with him, as well.
Write letters to him and send pictures of your family and
family events to him from time to time. Remember
birthdays and other important events in his life, including
holidays and school events and send cards. If you live
nearby, let him know when you can attend school functions
and extra-curricular activities or programs of his. The grief
you feel may be overwhelming. With the right preparation,
though, this time of transition can be a little bit easier for all
involved.
Foster Parenting: A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care
-
8/10/2019 Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
24/25
Conclusion
Without a doubt, being a foster parent can be a
very difficult and exhausting job. I know; I have been
there myself. Yet, foster parenting is certainly a job
that has tremendous rewards, as we are allowed to
love a child in need. What you are doing is important,
it matters greatly, and you ARE making a difference.
Thank you for taking care of children in care.
And if you liked this ebook, heres what I want
you to do next:
1. Send me an email at [email protected]
and let me know what you thought of the ebook.
Also, email me if you want to be added to my foster
care mailing list.
2. Say hello to me on Twitteror Facebookat Dr. JohnDeGarmo. I like to put a face to a name.
3. Share this ebook with your friends and with those
you know who will benefit from it.
Foster Parenting: A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care
mailto:[email protected]://twitter.com/https://www.facebook.com/DrJohnDeGarmohttps://www.facebook.com/DrJohnDeGarmohttps://twitter.com/mailto:[email protected] -
8/10/2019 Foster Parenting A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care.pdf
25/25
Foster Parenting: A Basic Guide to Caring for a Child in Foster Care
Other books by Dr. John DeGarmo
For much more in Foster Care
information, visit Dr. DeGarmoswebsite.
http://drjohndegarmofostercare.weebly.com/
http://drjohndegarmofostercare.weebly.com/http://drjohndegarmofostercare.weebly.com/