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The Fun-Time Calendar December 2012 Parents: Some programs require tickets and/or reservations, always contact event locations to confirm times and requirements.

Parents: Some programs require tickets and/or reservations, always contact event locations to confi rm times and requirements.

Dec 1 - 16 • Fort Bend Theatre presents Princess Christmas! • Saturdays at 1:00 pm and 3:00 pm and Sundays at 3:00 pm. Children attending in prince or princess attire will receive a small prize from FBT! Tickets are available at $9 each for adults and children • Fort Bend Theatre • fortbendtheatre.com • 281-208-3333

Dec 1, 5, 8, 12, 15 & 19 • Preschool Story Time • 10:00am •3-6 yrs • Free • George Memorial Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-342-4455

Dec 1, 5, 8, 12, 15 & 19 • Preschool Story Time • 10:30am • 3-6 yrs • Free • Missouri City Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2100

Dec 1, 8 & 15 • Family Story Time • 10:30am • Free • All ages• University Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-633-5100

Dec 1 • Breakfast with Santa at The Cheesecake Factory • 9:00am • The Santa Breakfast benefits Toys for Tots-Fort Bend and guests are asked to bring a new unwrapped toy to donate to the organization. • First Colony Mall • firstcolonymall.com

Dec 1 • Miracle on Morton Street • 10:00am-7:00pm • An annual Christmas Holiday event. Family oriented Christmas celebration that includes a visit with Santa, a children’s activity area, church and school choirs and much more! • Downtown Historic Richmond District • historicrichmond.org

Dec 1 • Christmas in Rosenberg • 12:00pm-9:00pm • The fun and festive evening event includes ample holiday entertainment from local community, schools and church groups; visits and photos with Santa and Mrs. Claus; gift, craft, and food vendors; a children’s carnival hosted by the Rosenberg Railroad Museum. • Historic Downtown Rosenberg • ci.rosenberg.tx.us • 832-595-3525

Dec 1 • Make Your Own Christmas Ornaments • 1:00pm-4:00pm • Families are invited to join in the fun of making some truly unique ornaments. • Missouri City Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2100

Dec 1 • Fort Bend Museum presents 2012 Candlelight Tours • 2:00pm-8:00pm • Celebrate the 175th birthday of Fort Bend County. Discover fascinating facts about our county’s history

during a guided tour of the beautifully decorated 1883 John M. Moore Home. • $5/adults; $4/seniors; $3/children • 1883 John M. Moore Home & 500 Houston St., Richmond • fortbendmuseum.org • 281-290-3944

Dec 1 • Opry on the Square • 7:00pm-9:00pm • Sugar Land Town Square • sugarlandtownsquare.com • 713-313-7587

Dec 2, 9 & 16 • Photos with Santa • 1:00pm-5:00pm • Grab your Christmas list and head to Town Square for a free photo with Santa and Mrs. Claus! • Sugar Land Town Square • sugarlandtownsquare.com • 713-313-7587

Dec 2 • Deck the Halls Holiday Concert • 2:00pm-3:30pm • A family concert that’s a true holiday treasure. • Stafford Centre, Cash & Murphy Rd • staffordcentre.com • 281-208-6900

Dec 2 • 13th Annual Clara’s Nutcracker Tea • 3:00pm-5:00pm • In a beautiful holiday setting watch the story of The Nutcracker come to

life. • All Ages • $28 per person • Safari Texas Ranch • balletforte.org • 281-799-7554

Dec 2 • Christmas Crafts and Carols • 6:00pm-

7:30pm • Join us for an evening of fellowship, craft making and singing for parents and their children. Bring a tray of cookies to share. Punch and hot

chocolate are provided. • Free • Sugar Land First

United Methodist, Great Hall • sugarlandmethodist.org

• 281-491-6041

Dec 3, 10 & 17 • Pajama Night Story Time • 6:30pm • Sienna Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2900

Dec 3, 10 & 17 • Pajama Night Story Time • 7:00pm • Missouri City Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2100

Dec 3 • Free French Children’s Class • 5:30pm • Language Factory • languagefactory.org • 281-261-2302

Find even more family friendly

events at

FortBendParent.com

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The Fun-Time Calendar Cont’d December 2012

Dec 4, 11 & 18 • Mother Goose Time • 10:00am • 1-12 months • Free • Sienna Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2900Dec 4, 11 & 18 • Toddler Time • 10:15am • 12-36 months • Free • Missouri City Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2100Dec 4, 11 & 18 • Toddler Time • 10:30am • 12-36 months • Free • University Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-633-5100Dec 4, 11 & 18 • Mother Goose Time • 10:30am •1-12 months • Free • Cinco Ranch Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-395-1311Dec 4, 11 & 18 • Mother Goose Time • 11:00am •1-12 months • Free • George Memorial Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-342-4455Dec 4, 11 & 18 • Mother Goose Time • 11:00am • 1-12 months • Free • First Colony Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2800Dec 4, 11 & 18 • Preschool Story Time • 2:00pm • 3-6 yrs • Free • Cinco Ranch Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-395-1311Dec 4 & 18 • Pajama Night Story Time • 7:00pm • University Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-633-5100Dec 4 & 11 • Toddler Time • 10:15am • 12-36 months • Free • Fulshear/Simonton Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-633-4675Dec 4 & 11 • Mother Goose Time • 11:00am •1-12 months • Free • Sugar Land Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2140Dec 4 • Free Spanish Children’s Class • 5:30pm • Language Factory • languagefactory.org • 281-261-2302

Dec 5, 6, 12, 13, 19 & 20 • Toddler Time • 10:30am • 12-36 months • Free • Cinco Ranch Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-395-1311Dec 5, 6, 12 & 13 • Toddler Time • 10:15am • 12-36 months • Free • First Colony Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2800Dec 5, 12 & 19 • Preschool Story Time • 10:00am • 3-6 yrs • Free • Sienna Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2900Dec 5, 12 & 19 • Toddler Time • 10:15am •12-36 months • Free • Albert George Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 979-793-4270Dec 5, 12 & 19 • Mother Goose Time • 10:30am •1-12 months • Free • University Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-633-5100Dec 5 & 12 • Toddler Time • 10:15am •12-36 months • Free • Sugar Land Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2140Dec 5 & 12 • Toddler Time • 11:15am •12-36 months • Free • Sugar Land Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2140Dec 5 & 12 • Preschool Story Time • 11:15am • 3-6 yrs • Free • First Colony Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2800Dec 5 & 19 • Kinder Korner • 4:00pm •Kindergarteners • Free • University Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-633-5100Dec 5 & 19 • After-School Break • 4:30pm • 1st-5th grades. • Free • Cinco Ranch Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-395-1311Dec 6, 13 & 20 • Toddler Time • 10:00am • 12-36 months • Free • George Memorial Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-342-4455

Dec 6, 13 & 20 • Toddler Time • 10:00am •12-36 months • Free • Sienna Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2900

Dec 6, 13 & 20 • Preschool Story Time • 10:15am • 3-6 yrs • Free • Albert George Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 979-793-4270

Dec 6, 13 & 20 • Preschool Story Time • 10:30am • 3-6 yrs • Free • University Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-633-5100

Dec 6, 13 & 20 • Pajama Night Story Time • 7:00pm • Free • Cinco Ranch Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-395-1311

Dec 6 & 13 • Preschool Story Time • 10:15am • 3-6 yrs • Free • Sugar Land Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2140

Dec 6 & 13 • Preschool Story Time • 10:15am • 3-6 yrs • Free • Fulshear/Simonton Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-633-4675

Dec 6 & 13 • Pajama Night Story Time • 7:00pm • Sugar Land Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2140

Dec 6 • Kinder Korner-Taking a Trip • 4:00pm • Kindergarteners • Free • George Memorial Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-342-4455

Dec 6 • Kinder Korner-Mouse Friends • 4:15pm • Kindergarteners • Free • Sugar Land Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2140

Dec 6 • After-School Break-Torn-Paper Owls • 4:30pm • 1st-5th grades only. • Free • First Colony Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2800

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The Fun-Time Calendar Cont’d December 2012

Dec 6 • Sugar Land’s 10th Annual Christmas Tree Lighting Event • 5:00pm-8:00pm • Experience one of Sugar Land’s favorite Holiday celebrations. • Sugar Land Town Square • sugarlandtownsquare.com • 713-313-7587

Dec 7 - 9 • BalletForte Presents the 17th Annual Nutcracker •Under the artistic direction of Michael Banigan, this pre-professional ballet company will once again delight audiences with the magic and mystery of the beloved tale of Clara and the Nutcracker Prince. • Stafford Centre, Cash & Murphy Rd • balletforte.org • 281-799-7554

Dec 7 • Holidays in the Plaza-Secret Santa Toy Drive • 4:00pm-8:00pm • Be a “Secret Santa” to a child in need by donating new, unwrapped toys. And from 6:00pm-9:30pm enjoy an evening of Holiday Music with the Travis High School Orchestra playing Holiday favorites, followed by a performance by the Houston Choral Showcase. • Sugar Land Town Square • sugarlandtownsquare.com • 713-313-7587

Dec 7 • Snowfest Festival • 6:00pm-9:00pm • Tree lighting ceremony, fireworks, moonwalks, Santa, food vendors, a bicycle raffle and more! Bring an unwrapped toy to donate to the Santa’s Exchange Project and receive an additional raffle entry for the bicycle raffle. • Free Admission • Civic Center Complex, 1522 Texas Pkwy • missouricitytx.gov • 281-403-8635

Dec 8 & 15 • Movie Under the Moon • 7:00pm-9:00pm • Bring your family to the Plaza to enjoy a special Holiday movie. • Sugar Land Town Square • sugarlandtownsquare.com • 713-313-7587

Dec 8 • Snowfest Parade • 9:00am • Two-mile long parade will feature floats and trailers decorated in holiday themes. Begins at the Public Safety Headquarters located on the corner of Murphy Road & Cartwright Road. • City of Missouri City • missouricitytx.gov • 281-403-8635

Dec 8 • AUTISM Playgroup of Fort Bend County-Meet Santa Claus • 10:00am-12:00pm • This group provides social opportunities for children with Autism & their families while building a support network in Fort Bend County. Thanks to local sponsors,

Drinks, Snacks and Door Prizes are provided. Cost is FREE but donations are appreciated. RSVP is required. For more information, please contact Susan at susan@susangar.com or 281-726-2665. • 1-12 yrs • Sugar Land City Park, 225 7th St

Dec 8 • Build and Grow-Gingerbread House • 10:00am-11:00am • At your local Lowes Store • buildandgrow.com

Dec 8 • Holiday Puppet Show • 10:30am • A special marionette show for the holidays, “Twas The Night Before Christmas”. • Sienna Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2900

Dec 8 • Camp Christmas • 12:00pm-2:00pm • All Children Pre-K through Grade 5 are invited. Registration Required. • Free • The Fort Bend Church • thebend.org • 281-980-8322

Dec 8 • Saturday Movie Matinee • 2:00pm • George Memorial Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-342-4455

Dec 8 • Join the Elf Academy • 2:00pm-4:00pm • Calling all kids ages 3-6! You can be Santa’s Helper at the “Elf Academy.” • First Colony Mall • firstcolonymall.com

Dec 9 • Christmas Cantata • Showtimes are 8:30am & 11am • St. John’s United Methodist-Richmond • stjohnsumc-richmond.org • 281-342-6631

Dec 9 • We Need a Little Christmas • 3:00pm-4:00pm • You’re invited to this special Christmas dance performance presented by the Ann Moody Sill Dance Studio. • Sugar Land First United Methodist, Great Hall • sugarlandmethodist.org • 281-491-6041

Dec 9 • Hanukkah Menorah Lighting and Celebration • 5:30pm-7:30pm • Come to the Plaza and be a part of this special celebration! • Sugar Land Town Square • sugarlandtownsquare.com • 713-313-7587

Dec 10 • Classic Children’s Opera-Hansel and Gretel • 6:30pm • Performance by Houston Grand Opera’s “Operas to Go!” • Fulshear/Simonton Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-633-4675

Dec 10 • Pajama Night Story Time-Gingerbread • 6:30pm • First Colony Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2800

Dec 11 • Holiday Open House • 2:00pm-4:00pm • Enjoy cookies, caroling, and warm beverages. • Missouri City Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2100

Dec 12 • How to Teach your Child with Autism to Entertain His/Herself • 8:45am • Independent work and play ideas for the home, car, restaurants, etc. • Age: Any • Free • Texana Center • texanacenter.com • 281-239-1435

Dec 12 • After-School Break-Crafty Games to Go • 4:00pm • 1st-5th grades. • Free • University Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-633-5100

Dec 12 • Kinder Korner-It’s Lost! • 4:00pm • Kindergarteners • Free • Sienna Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2900

Dec 12 • Kinder Korner • 4:30pm • Kindergarteners • Free • Cinco Ranch Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-395-1311

Dec 13 • After-School Break-Special Family Movie • 4:00pm • 1st-5th grades. • Free • Albert George Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 979-793-4270

Dec 13 • Kinder Korner-Let It Snow • 4:00pm • Kindergarteners • Free • First Colony Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2800

Dec 13 • After-School Break-Winter Wonderland • 4:15pm • 1st-5th grades. • Free • Sugar Land Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2140

Dec 13 • After-School Break-Winter Crafts • 4:30pm • 1st-5th grades. • Free • Missouri City Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2100

Dec 13 • Pajama Night Story Time-Let It Snow • 6:30pm • George Memorial Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-342-4455

Dec 14 - 16 • Christmas at Sugar Creek • 7:00pm • Come celebrate Christmas at Sugar Creek with three musical filled evenings of great music and worship. • Dec 14 & 15/$15, Dec 16/Free • Sugar Creek Baptist Church • sugarcreek.net • 281-242-2858

Dec 14 • Parents Night Out • 7:00pm • Bring your child/children for an evening of action packed fun. We provide food, fun and entertainment for the kids. Cost is $25/child; $20/siblings. • 5-12 yrs • Iron Cross Gymnastics • ironcrossgymnastics.com • 281-342-4766

Dec 14 • Holidays in the Plaza • 7:00pm-9:00pm • The Sugar Land Express Singers will perform a live concert of Holiday hits in the Plaza. • Sugar Land Town Square • sugarlandtownsquare.com • 713-313-7587

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The Fun-Time Calendar Cont’d December 2012

Log on to www.fortbendparent.com to submit your event or club information. Print Deadline 10th of month prior.

Submit your club/event information to us by the 10th of the month before the event. Email calendar@katyparent.com or fax to 281-480-3677.

Dec 14 • Christmas On the Air • 7:00pm • You’re invited to experience a modern-day lesson in giving and receiving in this Christmas musical and drama. You will love the message of the beautifully arranged Christmas songs as well as fresh arrangements of traditional carols. Childcare is available by reservation. • Sugar Land First United Methodist • sugarlandmethodist.org • 281-491-6041Dec 15 & 28 • Winter Movie Fun • 2:00pm • Free • Sienna Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2900Dec 15 & 28 • Family Movie Matinee • 2:00pm • Free • First Colony Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2800Dec 15 • Journey to Bethlehem • The campus is transformed into the ancient Holy Land. Children and their families are taken on a tour that begins with registering for the census and continues through the appearance of an angel to Mary and follows the rest of the Christmas story. Times are 4:30, 5:30 & 6:30pm • New Hope Lutheran Church • newhopelc.orgDec 15 • Holiday Story Time • 10:00am • A special story time for the whole family • Sienna Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2900Dec 15 • Jingle Bell Choir • 2:00pm-6:00pm • Ring In the Holidays! Participate in a traditional bell choir, no experience necessary. Learn and perform a holiday song; ringing in the season with merriment and joy to the delight of everyone around! • First Colony Mall • firstcolonymall.comDec 15 • Parents’ Survival Night • 7:15pm • Open to members and non-members. Please call to register. Members: $26; Non-Member: $31. • The Little Gym Sugar Land/Missouri City • thelittlegym.com/sugarlandmissouricitytx • 281-277-5470

Dec 18 • Pajama Night Story Time • 7:00pm • University Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-633-5100

Dec 20 • After-School Break-It’s Snowing • 4:00pm • 1st-5th grades. • Free • George Memorial Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-342-4455

Dec 20 • Children’s Campfire Christmas • 6:00pm-8:00pm • Join us for a family-geared Campfire Christmas focuses on the little ones in your life. Participate in fun Christmas crafts, take a hayride through the park and sing Christmas songs around the campfire. A light dinner is included in the ticket price. Reservations are required. Reservations are non-refundable. Tickets are $30/adults, $25/ages 5-15 & $10/ages 4 and under. • George Ranch Historical Park • georgeranch.org • 281-343-0218

Dec 21 • Holidays in the Plaza • 7:00pm-9:00pm • Back by popular demand is saxophonist Chris Mitchell, who will perform a CHRISTmas Concert! • Sugar Land Town Square • sugarlandtownsquare.com • 713-313-7587

Dec 22 • Holidays in the Plaza • 7:00pm-9:00pm • First Colony Church of Christ’s worship band will warm up Town Square with a mix of classic and contemporary Holiday Music. Plus • Sugar Land Town Square • sugarlandtownsquare.com • 713-313-7587

Dec 26 - 28 • Winter Camps • Come once or come every day! The holidays are hopping at Great Play! Advanced purchase pricing: Single 2 1/2 hour session: Member $30; Non-Members $36. Check website for more details. • Great Play Sugar Land • greatplay.com/sugarland • 281-277-0475

Dec 27 • After-School Break-Winter Wishes • 4:15pm • 1st-5th grades only. • Free • Sienna Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2900

Dec 28 • Parents Night Out • 6:00pm-9:00pm • Go out for a fun evening and rest assured that your children are in good hands. Dinner included. First child/$30.00 Member; $35.00 Non Member; Siblings/$20.00 Member; $25.00 Non Member • Great Play Sugar Land • greatplay.com/sugarland • 281-277-0475

Dec 29 • Winter Break Drop-In-And-Craft-It • 2:00pm-3:30pm • First Colony Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2800

Dec 31 • Holiday Story Time • 2:30pm • Sienna Branch Library • fortbend.lib.tx.us • 281-238-2900

Dec 31 • Sugar Land’s New Year’s Eve Celebration • 7:00pm • Ring in the New Year! The evening begins with a children’s celebration with family friendly entertainment followed by the adult’s celebration. • Sugar Land Town Square • sugarlandtownsquare.com • 713-313-7587

SATURDAYSChristmas in the Park • Explore special holiday traditions that evolved over 100 years. Come join us for this unique look into Christmas Pasts. A special New Year’s program will be held on Dec. 29th. • George Ranch Historical Park • georgeranch.org • 281-343-0218

Ongoing

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Calvary Churchcalvaryhouston.org • 281-634-0200Dec 24 • 4pm • Christmas Eve Worship

Christ United Methodist Church cumcsl.org • 281-980-6888Dec 24 • 3:30pm • Family Christmas Eve Service 5:30pm • HUB Contemporary Service5pm, 7:30pm & 11pm • Candlelight Service

Crossbridge Church crossbridge.cc • 281-313-8300Dec 23 • 5pm & 6:30pm • Christmas Eve Service

Faith Lutheran Church of Sugar Landfl csl.org • 281-242-7729Dec 24 • 5:30pm • Children’s Service 7:30pm • Candlelight Christmas Eve Service

First Baptist Church Rosenbergfi rstrosenberg.org • 281-342-5596Dec 24 • 6pm • Christmas Eve Service

First Colony Church of Christfirstcolonychurch.org • 281-980-7070Dec 24 • 5pm • Candlelight Service

First United Methodist Church Missouri Cityfumcmc.org • 281-499-3502 Dec 24 • 5pm • Family Service w/ younger children5 & 11pm • Candlelight Communion Chapel 7pm • Candlelight Communion in Sanctuary

Fishers of Men Lutheran Churchfi shersofmen.org • 281-242-7711 Dec 24 • 4pm • Families with Young Children 7pm & 9pm • Candlelight Communion Service

Holy Cross Episcopal Churchholycrosschurch.com • 281-633-2000Dec. 24 • 6pm • Christmas Eve Service

New Hope Lutheran Churchnewhopelc.org • 281-499-7611Dec 24 • 5:30pm • Family Interactive Worship w/ Live Animals8:30pm • Traditional Candlelight Family Worship w/ Orchestra11pm • Traditional Candlelight Contemplative Worship w/ Harp

St. John’s United Methodist Churchstjohnsumc-richmond.org • 281-342-6631Dec 24 • 4pm, 5:30pm, 7pm & 11pm • Traditional Christmas Eve Service

St. Mark’s Episcopal Churchstmarksfortbend.org • 281-545-1661Dec 24 • 5pm • Christmas Eve Service Dec 25 • 10am • Christmas Service

St. Martins Lutheran Churchstmartinslc.org • 281-980-0695 Dec 24 • 5pm • Children’s Service 7:30pm • Candlelight Communion Service

Sugar Creek Baptist Churchsugarcreek.net • 281-242-2858 Dec 24 • 4pm & 6pm • Christmas Eve Service

Sugar Land First United Methodist Churchsugarlandmethodist.org • 281-491-6041Dec 24 • 5pm • Family Service 6:15pm & 8:15pm Christmas Eve Communion7pm & 9pm • Candles & Carols11pm • Holy Service of Communion

The Fort Bend Churchthebend.org • 281-980-8322Dec 23 • 8:30am & 10:30am • Family Christmas Worship ServiceDec 31 • 7pm • New Years Eve Worship Service

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Had we kept our New Year’s resolution, right now, my wife and I would have had enough money saved to buy our kids, ourselves, all of the relatives, and the cat nice presents for Christmas, plus have plenty leftover to vacation for a week in Hawaii and keep our kids in new underwear for another year.

It sounded like a good idea last January when we promised to sock-away a monthly savings into a special bank account earmarked for

the Christmas season. It was an easy decision to make.

The hard part was arriving at November 1st and finding my wife and I staring at our empty savings account like two helpless squirrels caught in the headlights of a speeding 18-wheeler.

“Didn’t we save any money?!” I yelled.

My wife’s eyes rolled: “After school fundraisers, babysitters and take out, there wasn’t anything left.”

To afford this Christmas, therefore, my wife and I have had to get industrious. We’ve raked the neighbors’ leaves, babysat pets, and put a wad of gum at the end of a stick and fished out pennies from the storm drain.

We’ve even tried sales, but unfortunately no one buys lemonade alongside the road from two desperate-looking grownups sitting at their daughter’s Precious Moments card table.

We did, however, manage to scrape together enough cash for the kids’ gifts with a little leftover for the relatives. With this in mind, our goal has been to buy presents which don’t look as cheap as they cost, or can be taken back to confirm their poor taste.

Still, my wife has had second thoughts about our giving.

“I don’t know,” she said after we went shopping. “These things for our parents seem awfully cheap.”

“Explain that to the kids when they discover we took their piggy banks hostage.”

“How are we going to pass these candles off as costing more than $5?” she continued.

“My mom loves candles, they’ll be fine.”

“She loves ones shaped like cactus?”

“We’ll say the children made them.” I explained.

“Do you suppose we could tell your brother the kids concocted the $5 after shave we bought him?”

“Yea, we could pour it into a mason jar.”

“Can’t we at least add a little more to these gifts?” my wife asked.

“The kids have Halloween candy left,” I said grabbing their bags.

“They licked all of it.” “Not since last week.” “They’re all sticky, Ken!”

“Okay, forget the candy–why don’t we sing Christmas carols to the family instead.”

“With your voice?” she exclaimed. “Never mind. Hopefully they’ll understand.”

“Hopefully they won’t buy us nicer presents than we are giving them.”

“That’s it,” my wife cried. “Starting in January, we are saving a little each month for next Christmas!”

“Okay dear, whatever you say,” I answered.

I’d better tell the kids to get another year out of their underwear.

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