forgotten pieces prolouge 2

8/7/2019 forgotten pieces prolouge 2

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Forgotten Pieces

A novel

By Rachel Cohen and Juliana Mazzone


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If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you,

its yours forever. If it doesnt, then it was never meant tobe.

Forgotten Pieces

Prologue

The headlights of the car blinded me as I stood there on the road my thumb dropping

back to my side. My father always told me, to get attention you have to jump into peoples path.

Whats the worst that can happen? he would say. I could think of enough, but that didnt stop

me from standing on the road waiting for the next sucker to give me a ride. As the lights lowered

I saw that it was a rusty mustang. I got a glimpse of the license plate, North Carolina. I walked to

the passenger side of the car as the man unlocked the door. I got the overwhelming smell of

booze, sweat, and pot. His grisly face lifted into a creepy smile that reminded me ofhim.

Where to sweetheart, he said giving me a long look up and down. Uhh. I felt lyk I was in one

of those stranger danger films. To think of it, I probably should be listening to that right now.

San Francisco, I replied sort of grim. I hopped into his car and we started to move.

I took another look at this guy under the dim car lights. He had sort of a harry potter hair.

But his attitude screamed hooker magnet nothing magical about that. Im probably not getting

out of this car soon, so I might as well leave in one piece. Not that theres much left of me. I


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grabbed a Sharpie out of my back pocket a started writing on my bruised arm. The guy stared at

me with a question in his eyes.

What are you doing there sweetheart. I figured I might as well tell him since he was kind

enough to give me a ride, even though his intentions might not have been so kind.

Just being safe. I said causally letting the words sink in as he read the license plate number on

my arm. I smiled darkly to myself as I saw a glimpse of the disappointment in his eyes. He was

quiet for the rest of the ride so I stared out the window as the empty town flew by.

Everything became blurred. The road that always led back home, the unchanging velvet

sky that was my best friend, even the thick trees that hold my best of memories. The only things

that kept me tied to this small town for so long. But ever since he came into my life the road got

too long to walk, the sky was too far to hear, and the trees were too old to remember. Now I was

flying across borders leaving the nightmares and aiming for the dreams; ones that Ive never

touched or tasted. I wiped the silent tears as they fell down my cheek. I closed my eyes as I

always do and drifted into sleep.

Chapter one:

Lost

It was the strangest thing. A young man was standing in front of me in what seemed lyk

tights and a long brown jacket. He had his back facing me as he was humming a lovely tune that

reminded me of something familiar and oddly happy. For some reason I knew that I was almost


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never happy. That gave me the clue that I must have been dreaming. But it felt so real. The odd

man began to look hysterical. I couldnt keep from laughing. The young man jumped at the ring

of my laughter. I gasped as I saw what he had been doing. A moon! He had painted a beautiful

shinning moon in midair. But it seemed normal to him that he was painting the sky.

Breathe, he said calmly, almost lyk a whisper. I took a deep breath and let the air out

of my lungs. Suddenly the sky changed. Instead of a clear blue night there was a stormy cloud

covering the gleam of the moon. I looked at the young man, but he was starring at the sky with a

worried look. Again I took a deep breath this time trying to blow away the clouds, but I couldnt

breathe. My lungs felt heavy, my throat was stinging, and the man wouldnt shut the hell up! All

I kept hearing was breathe, breathe, but nothing would come out.

A bright light blinded my eyes. I saw shadows around me.

She opened her eyes, a deep voice said from above me. I adjusted my eyes to see a

beautiful angel. His eyes sparkled with relief at the sight of me. My vision was still hazy but all I

could do was stare at his captivating face as he carried me. Somewhere in between I fell asleep

only to wake up with a pounding head ache and a burning throat.

Hello? I croaked. My voice was too weak to be audible. I tried to remember how I got

here, but my mind was blank. Where the hell was I? I pushed the comforters off me and slowly

stepped out of the couch. I was in a baggy t shirt that smelled like well I dont know for some

reason.

How are you feeling? a familiar deep voice said. I jumped in response and turned

around to see the same guy that I saw as my angel.


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Hey, are you ok? his voice seemed worried. I realized I was standing there lyk an idiot

starring at him.

Oh! Yea Im fine, I responded quickly.

Good, he examined me closely.

Well Im Jason,

Im., I realized I couldnt answer. Who am I? All I remember is waking up on a

couch in a t shirt. Crap. I dont remember anything about me, not sure who I am.

Im in California, I thought. I got drunk and wouldve drowned if Jason- my angel in disguise

as a lifeguard hadnt come to my rescue.

I almost died.

Its weird. My life was so close to being taken away, and now that I have it, I cant even

remember what I would have lost. Amnesia, Jason told me. It wasnt that I didnt know anything;

I knew who the president was, I knew what year it was, I knew that Nicholas Cage was the worst

actor in the world. But that last one probably had to do with the five hour National Treasure

marathon I had just suffered through. I found a notebook on the glass coffee table in front of me.

In it, I titled a list Things about me, and under it, wrote doesnt like Nicholas Cage.

Suddenly Curious, I put down the book and went to explore Jasons apartment. Pacing the hall

between doorways, I ran my fingertips across the textured ocean-blue wallpaper and picked at

the peeling corners, and remembered the conversation of the morning.

Where are your parents? I asked, after he told me that we had the place to ourselves. He


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shrugged,

They travel a lot, they let me live here on my own. Im almost eighteen anyway.

That was fine by me. It was bad enough I had one person taking care of me. The last thing I

needed were parents worrying about me too. I thought of something that hadnt occurred to me

until now. My parents. Where were they? I felt a wave of sadness and anger wash over me. I

didnt like my parents, I realized. I couldnt even remember theyre names, or what they looked

like, I just knew. But why? Were they divorced? Dead? Or just distant like Jasons parents? I

stopped thinking about that. There was nothing I could do anyway.

Jumping out of my thoughts and back to the small apartment, I opened a door. It was a study.

Textbooks and loose-leaf paper covered every inch of the room, and I wouldve simply ignored it

and closed the door, I almost did, had I not seen it. The keyboard lay under a small mountain of

crumpled paper balls. Brushing them off, I brought the piano to the deflated teal futon and turned

it on. Thats an A, I thought. And thats a B, and a C, and a D. I tried playing. First, Mary had a

little lamb. Then Twinkle twinkle little star. I tried scales and chords; suddenly my fingers

transformed the keys into a melody that seemed more familiar then my own reflection. Soon

enough, two hours went by, I decided this was becoming too addictive. I took the piano off my

lap and left the study. Sprinting to the coffee table, I picked up the notebook and added, Plays

piano.

I guess there are some things you can just never forget.

Flopping back down on the couch, I recalled everything else I learned. There was a ring on my

finger when Jason found me. It must have been real sliver, because my finger didnt turn green.

The ring was pretty, but slightly too big for my finger. Clear jewels lay in a neat line down the

middle strip, which spun. Jason told me he spent ten minutes trying try pry my fingers open; they


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were enclosed that tightly around the ring. Why was it so important? I traced over the strange

smudged code on my arm. Maybe it was some sort of written language. People write in code

sometimes. But what did it say? I guess it couldve been an address. Mine? There was a tattered

picture in my pocket. A little girl and a man. The girl resembled me. She had the same light

brown eyes, the same dark wavy hair in her loose pigtails. In the photograph she was on the

mans shoulders. He held her raised up hands. Teeth were missing from her huge crooked smile.

She looked like she was on top of the world.

Jason came back after I got showered and re-dressed into my old clothes. He left me soon after I

had woken up earlier today.

Im really sorry, he had said, running around the living room I need to get to work. This place

doesnt pay for its self. Well you know, for the most part. Eat whatever you want, sleep, watch

TV, whatever makes you happy he stopped to look at me nice hair Jason said softly through

his smile. I patted my head, ran my fingers through the poofy strands. If it looked nearly as bad

as it felt, I was a mess. We laughed. Hey! Leave me and my bed head alone! I cried, pouting

dramatically. Your cute, I mean, its cute he said blushing and messing it up even more. I

really wish I could stay. Well talk when I get home. I pinky promise. Jason offered his hand

and we shook pinkies. It was sweet, like little kids would do. It felt recognizable. A flash of

something popped into my head. Little hands, clasping together I promise. And you cant break

a pinky promise. I tried to see who the kids were, hold the image for a bit longer, but just as

quickly as it came the memory left, and so did Jason.

He came back with pizza a few hours later. Now that I thought of it, I was starving. Guess what,

guess what guess wha-a-t? I shout-sang even thought he was within whisper distance. I ran in


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front of him and jumped up and down like a little kid begging for candy. I couldnt wait for him

to answer, I can play piano! Then I smiled just about the goofiest biggest smile Ive ever

smiled before (I think). I smacked myself in the head and realized how ridiculous I just acted

Ugh, Im the biggest ditz Jason shook his head dont be silly, its great news. Come on, well

eat in a few. He took my hand, and led me to the study; I couldnt stop myself from blushing.

We sat just where I was before, keyboard on our laps sitting, jeans to bathing suit bottoms.

Heart and soul? Jason suggested. Sounds somewhat familiar, I said, trying my hardest to

remember. Start it off, maybe Ill know. He played low notes, slow and hopeful. Something

flooded back and I played the harmony. There we go, he said through the notes. We played,

neither of us missing a beat. It felt so comfortable. For those couple seconds, it didnt matter that

I didnt have a past. Or even a name. All that mattered was the present. This moment. Suddenly,

only I was playing, as soon as I realized this, I looked over to the left. Jason was staring into my

eyes. Not searching for anything, but for some reason he looked like he found what he was

looking for. His face leaned towards mine, and all of the sudden I didnt feel like playing

anymore.

I could just end it there. I dont have to tell you about the awkward period right after the kiss that

books and movies fail to mention. It was like after fireworks are done being set off, and the

witnesses dont speak for a minute: half awe at what they just experienced and half fear that

something could go wrong. That describes it perfectly. Fireworks. I know it sounds cheesy, but

love at first sight does exist. Not that Jason and me were in love - we hardly knew each other.

But neither of us could deny the sparks that had just flown. It was slightly awkward though.

Pulling back, we looked at each other, and I said what seemed to be both our thoughts.


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What now? I asked, lips still tingling

Now, we feast! Jason replied smiling, To the kitchen!

We listened to music and I practically inhaled the pizza and ice cream afterwards; it tasted so

good! Theres one plus about losing your memory every food you taste is new. You know,

assuming Ive had pizza before, which I probably have. Jason liked old movies, so that night we

curled up on the couch as I fell asleep half way through The Wizard of Oz.

The apartment was whirling in the air so fast I felt nauseous. I begged for the wind to stop, and it

did for a split second. My stomach turned somersaults as the building dropped itself heavily in

midair. It was so fast it made a high pitched whistling noise; I held my breath preparing for the

hard ground. Suddenly there was a deafening SPLASH and the room rocked back and forth as

we started sinking slowly into the green-blue blur of ocean. I tried to breathe, gasping and

reaching for the ceiling in hopes of oxygen, but my lungs gave out and I felt myself drifting

leisurely, peacefully, to the floor. It was still murky when I opened my eyes Come on! Ill teach

you how to play heart and soul! It was the man from the picture. No way! Show me! Show

me! said the little girl, the long tangled hair cascading down her back swung, as she rushed to

sit on the mans lap. And there it was. I sat for a moment in the foggy setting, recalling the song

Jason and I had played just a couple hours ago. The little girl pressed a key and the man (Im

assuming it is her father) readjusted her hands. She began again, with the right note this time

There we go He said. The image started to slip away, I vowed I would remember this in the

morning, and drifted off to sleep smiling.

I did remember that morning, and wrote everything down on my list. Obviously the little girl was

me. The man was probably my father, but could have been an uncle or a stepfather even. With


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the word stepfather, painful chills shot up my spine. Hm, Stepfather. I thought, my face

instinctively twisted up into a grimace. Ill save that for later. Speaking of later what time was

it?

1:34 the clock blinked. Ugh. I dragged myself off the cozy couch, wrapped the blanket around

myself, and went to the kitchen. There was a bag on the counter with a note. Ill be home

around 3:00, heres some bagels to tide you over until then I quickly fixed up a cream cheese

sandwich and settled onto a red cushioned barstool. Mmmmm. No matter how I used to live, I

was sure of one thing I definitely liked bagels.

I finished up breakfast (or was it lunch?) and found a laptop. I plugged it in and typed in Google.

Am I the only person who finds it weird that I can remember random facts (a cheetah can run up

to 70 miles an hour) know who most celebrities are, even remember websites but not even my

own name? I searched amnesia and then clicked Im feeling lucky, hoping my hand wasnt

on some sort of weird mood mouse that could detect the lies I was telling the Internet.

Amnesia-partial or total loss of memory due to severe injury, hypnosis, intoxication, and/or ones

own will. Amnesia can affect traumatized people more than others, and the strength of

forgetfulness depends on the truth said person is willing to accept. I dont remember my whole

life. How much am I subconsciously not letting myself remember?

You know the saying Time flies when youre having fun?

Its the opposite when youre bored. Every minute felt like an hour; a lifetime passed and it was

only 2:03. I played mindless computer games to keep me occupied until Jason came back with a

late lunch of take out lo-mien and sushi. The noodles were delicious, but the sushi not so much.

I dont know how raw fish can sound appealing to anyone. Jason taught me how to use chop

sticks, and we ate. Past the fishy smell I breathed him in; a scent of mint gum and ocean salt that


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Ive grown accustomed to. I stared at him, and he met my gaze with his sea-glass green eyes, and

even with a mouth full of rice and soy sauce stains all over his face, hot didnt even begin to

describe him.

We played battleship, LIFE, candy land, checkers, and every board game in his house. Im pretty

sure toy stores use his apartment as extra storage space. It was surprisingly fun; Jason said he

was reconstructing my childhood. We watched Cinderella, spun around in circles seeing which

one of us could walk at least somewhat straight. We roller bladed down the hallways and jumped

on the beds. I dont care how dorky it would all look to someone on the outside looking in. I was

so exhausted from running around and laughing that I collapsed on the couch and fell into REM-

heavy sleep the second my head hit the pillow. Good night I heard Jason whisper from my

dreams sleep tight, dont let the bed bugs bite I felt a blanket creep up to my shoulders and a

kiss on my forehead. Then it was dark.

Forgotten pieces

Chapter 2

First piece

I was walking down a long foggy road. The trees were standing tall beside me lyk an

older brother waiting, protecting. I was looking for something, but Im not sure what. I focused

my eyes as I saw something in the distance. It was a figure. I began to run, trying to reach the

person before he left. He was two feet away from me now and I could almost make out his face.

The boy looked about seventeen, lyk me. He was speaking softly. Looking at me with his bright


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blue ocean eyes, I automatically responded, Always and forever. Tears streamed down my face

as I stared at his. I miss you, I kept saying over and over. And then I woke up.

I couldnt help but cry. I wanted to be back in the dream with him. Where was he? Why

isnt he with me? Jason heard me crying and ran down the steps to comfort me.

Hey, hey whats wrong?He asked in his soothing voice. But, it wasnt the voice I wanted to

hear.

I cant find him, hes gone! I cried. He wouldnt understand. How can I love someone I dont

know? But I cant forget him. Jason kept asking me about who I was talking about, but I ignored

him. I had to find the notebook. It was on the table. I ripped a sheet and grabbed the pencil

beside it. Jason stopped talking and waited for me to finish my hysteria. I drew his ocean eyes

first, letting my hands freely trace the image from my mind. I then went to the face, careful to

make the nose and mouth as perfect as I saw them in the dream. I finished with his shaggy hair

that seemed to fall to the tip of his eye lashes. Under him I wrote Always and Forever. I just

couldnt remember what he said though that made me say those words. I started crying again as I

looked down at the face I forgot. Who is he? Jason asked. His voice broke the trance I was in.

Someone I lost before I got to know.

What do you mean? he asked, still not understanding. Maybe I wont fully understand it either.

I just know that I loved him but I lost him. I knew him from my past, but I dont know who he

is. I just know that hes gone, but he should be with me. Its complicated, but it makes sense. I

left out an obvious factor that I hope Jason didnt notice.

Did you love him? he asked simply.


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He noticed. It must be really hard on Jason. Even though Im the one with no memory

and no home, hes the one who has to watch as I get closer to my old life.

Yes I did.

Hes the one that gave you the ring. It wasnt a question. More lyk an obvious statement.

I think so. I responded softly as he ran this through his head.

Ok, well its 2:30, I think you should get some sleep. He concluded

I couldnt let him just leave lyk this. It wasnt right or even fair.

Jason wait.

Yea.

Thank you. I leaned in to give him a small kiss. He bore his eyes into mine so that I couldnt

look away. He leaned in, but the face from my dream came back. I pulled away.

I cant, Im sorry. He nodded and understood. He went back up the stairs as I sat on the couch

that transformed into my bed.

I couldnt sleep. Everything was running through my mind on overdrive. The song I

played for Jason, the ring that my missing boyfriend gave me. My missing boyfriend. Even the

mystery numbers on my arm were just so random. Of course I cant forget that the little

conversation Jason and I had could ruin everything. It was all just driving me crazy. I had to

distract myself. I went to the TV and flipped through the DVDs Jason had. Romance, thriller,

mystery-definitely not- horror, and comedy. Perfect.


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I popped in all About Steve. It was about some strange girl who wore red boots and

loved crossword puzzles. She went across the country just to find a guy who she thought was her

soul mate. I was at the part where she was at some waffle house telling her so called love story

to the hicks. She went outside and some trucker offered her a ride. But that wasnt what caught

my attention. She took out a sharpie and wrote the license plate number on her arm it explains

the numbers.

I must have gotten a ride from some stranger and wrote the license plate number

on my arm just incase. So, California isnt my home. But why would I leave? I grabbed the

notebook and wrote ran away from home in my list. I checked my arm for the license plate

number but it was too faded to read. I didnt matter I still remembered it. R3286B. I made a

mental note to search it on Google. I threw the notebook back on the table which caused the

picture I drew to fall. I picked it up and glanced at it. Gasp! I couldnt have drawn this! Its so

professional. I was so hysterical when I drew it, I didnt even realize how goodit was. Wow!

This is overwhelming. I added that to the list, than ran upstairs to tell Jason.

There were only two rooms upstairs, his bedroom and the bathroom. I opened the door to

Jasons room as I began to tell him what Ive learned. Oops. I didnt even realize it was only 4

A.M. I was about to step out when he spoke. Its ok. Im awake.

Oh! I answered bewildered and even embarrassed. I sat at the foot of his bed, legs

crossed and facing him. He mimicked my position and waited for me too start.

Well I just wanted to tell you that I found out what the numbers were on my arm. Oh,

and I can draw apparently. He just sat there smirking.


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Thats what you came to tell me. He said teasing me. His face was perfect then and I

blurted out the other reason.

Actually, I wanted to know if you were ok. You know after my little umm outburst.

Youre perfect you know that? he said randomly laughing. I was shocked.

Are you ok, because I thought I was the one who was supposed to be psycho.

Im fine. Youre the one that just found out you had a boyfriend you cant remember.

Not only that but you dont know a single thing about your self, and youre asking if IM ok. Lyk

I said before Im fine. He finished. Well I guess I dont have to worry then. So what was it

you were saying about drawing numbers. He yawned, changing the subject before I could even

respond.

Well I think the numbers on my arm is a license plate number that I wrote as I got a ride

to California. See, if I just find out whom it was maybe he would know what happened to me. I

finished.

Thats great! But, cant you just go to the police and file a missing persons report? he

said lyk it was the obvious thing to do.

Of course I cant! I said, shocked, if I file a report then my parents can find me.

Jason seemed confused, isnt that a good thing?

I sighed, If I wanted to be with my parents I wouldnt have run away. He thought

about it for a moment. It seemed lyk he had a question that he wasnt sure he could ask. What is

it? I said.


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Well I just thought you loved him. I knew who he was talking about. As I was about to

answer I had a glimpse of me walking an empty road alone, lyk I was letting go. Hes gone

though, I said softly.

Jason saw the drawing I was holding in my hand. He gasped lyk I had at the picture I

drew.

I didnt realize how good it was.

I didnt either. I stared at the picture drew. I wanted to know what I loved about him. I

wanted to know our history together. How we met. How he left. I wonder how Jason can

understand what Im going through. I turned around and laid my head on the pillow, my feet

facing the foot of the bed. Jason lay down next to me. I turned to his angel face and asked, Have

you ever been in love?

Once. Her name was Abigail. She was my best friend and my first girl friend. I went out with

her in my first two years in high school. He paused

What happened, I asked, curious

She went to a party with one of her friends one day and when she came back she was on drugs.

I tried to help her. I told her parents, sent her to detoxify, I did everything. Everything wasnt

enough. I wasnt enough. Her parents sent her away to some facility. Ive havent seen her since.

What if she comes back? I couldnt help but think about what would happen to us.

Was there even an us?

It wont matter, its over between us. His voice became hard, almost bitter. Nothing lyk

the angelic voice I was used to.


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Why? I asked. This conversation took an emotional turn I never expected.

Because she made me break my promise. I promised her I could always take care of her.

Be there for her. But Abby left. I wasnt there for her anymore. I never would have realized

that Jason had a broken heart. He seemed so strong and secure on the outside. He was looking at

the ceiling probably thinking about Abby. Its nice to put a name to a person. Jason and Abby.

Me and him whoever he is. But I dont have a name.

Jason. I called distracting him from his thoughts.

Hmm, he responded

What do you call me?

What? he asked totally confused. I giggled at his expression

I mean when you think of me. What do you call me? he understood what I meant and

his face softened.

Well when I think of you I call you Aida Noe, he started laughing as if he was telling

me an inside joke that I wasnt inside of.

Where the hell did you get Aida Noe from? Thats lyk an old lady name! I said

laughing. I pushed his shoulder playfully. He didnt budge.

Get it Aida Noe, I dont know, he laughed again as he saw my annoyed expression.

Thats a bad joke, I said. He was breaking down with laughter that I couldnt help but

join in.


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Then why are you laughing?

Because youre . Face looks so stupid. I breathed as I began to calm down.

Come on Aida, you looove my face. He teased. Oh, he was going to pay for that one. I

inched closer to him on my knees.

Youre right Jason I do looove your face. He smiled huge pulling my hand closer to

him. He was in the perfect spot. I put my hands on his shoulders and pushed him off the edge of

the bed.

Oww! he exclaimed, still laughing, what was that for.

My names not Aida. I said simply

How do you know? he challenged as he got back on the springy bed.

Because I just know.

Fine

But seriously, what do you really call me. I couldnt help I wanted to know.

Honestly, he said as he turned to his side, when I think of you, I think of light. When

you opened your eyes that night I saved you, your eyes glistened. When you played the piano for

me, your heart glowed, even now when you look at me, your smile shines. For me your name

could be Aurora, or Karen, Lucy, Claire, even Elaina. But none of them would fit, because they

cant describe you. You need a special one-of-a-kind name.


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I couldnt respond to that. I just took my hand in his and stared at him for what seemed

lyk forever. Once he fell asleep I carefully grabbed the notebook and pencil that was at the foot

of the bed and began drawing Jason as I see him. An angel.

Chapter 3

Life

I woke up a few times that morning. We never moved from our positions. I always faced

him, my hand enclosed in his, keeping me warm, keeping me safe. He started to stir, I smiled.

He looked so young when he slept. Jason was peaceful to look at. Even when he slept he smiled.

His deep brown eyes stared at me while I stared at him.

Good morning, he said in a tired, husky voice.

Good afternoon, I contradicted

What do you mean, he asked, yawning

Its 2:30, I pointed to the alarm clock on his side of the bed that flashed time in green numbers.

Well Im off duty, so we can hang today, his words made me jump off the bed. Ive been

cooped up in this house for the last two days. Anything but this place sounds lyk heaven.


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Oh thank god, we need to get out! I ran out of the bed and grabbed the clothes I was found in. I

got into the bathroom and changed out of Jasons t-shirt. I stuck on the old jeans and shirt.

Jason, I called from the bathroom, I need to go shopping. Really bad. I have been wearing

these clothes for too long. I looked in the mirror to see the reflection that was only now starting

to become my own. My brown hair was slightly tangled and misplaced. I ran my fingers through

my hair and felt a bump. I winced. It must have been where I banged my head on the rocks. I

havent even noticed it before. Jason distracted me from the mirror.

I actually had a better idea. He said making me much too curious. I got out of the bathroom to

find that Jason hadnt even moved an inch.

What are you doing? I exclaimed, We have to get out and I dont want to waist anymore

time.

Relax, he soothed. I didnt relax I was too jumpy; dont you want to hear my idea?

Fine, I said stubbornly.

Have you ever surfed before? he asked his eyebrows arching.

Is that a serious question?

Yes it is, he answered.

Well then, since I dont remember anything from my life I can tell you that I have not surfed

since the two days Ive been here. I said pointly.

This is going to be fun then. He was planning that I was going to suck. He was right, as much

as I know about my self; I dont think I can surf.


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It will only be fun if we leave lyk now! I said grabbing his hand and tossing his clothes in his

face.

Ill call my friends then, he said casually.

I forgot of course. Jason has friends. Do they even know me? About what happened? I

kept thinking about friends and what they were lyk, what they did for each other. Nothing. My

mind was blank. Empty.

Do they know about me? I asked while he we were leaving. I mean about my amnesia?

Well yea, they're the ones that helped me save you. Jason said, realizing that he never told me

that.

Oh! I always thought that it was just Jason who found me, Jason who woke me up, Jason who

chose to bring me home. I guess even angels need a little help.

Jason and I were walking down the sidewalk, heading for the beach. He told me about

surfing and how it sucks at first, because all you do is slip and fall. I didnt really lyk that part.

But he kept saying that all that sacrifice would feel all the more better when you finally get it

right. I looked at the houses and trees that made this place feel unreal. Almost lyk it was from

another life. The familiarity was almost too much. I felt lyk Ive been away from this place too

long, that now that Im back I feel free. I looked up at the sky. It was a bright blue that almost

hurt my eyes. I remembered looking up at the sky and telling my dad that the sky looked lyk the

ocean and that the birds up there were lyk the fish down here. He was smiling down at me.

I wiped the tear from my eye before Jason could notice.


22/46

Do you want to tell me what just happened? Jason asked. I seemed to never get

anything passed Jason. There was nothing for me too hide. This is a happy memory, one Im

really glad I got back.

Remember that picture that was in my jacket? I asked him. He nodded.

Well, thats my father. Ive been here before, but it was a long time ago. I stared ahead

trying to hold to that memory. I felt that it was going to slip too soon lyk everything else in my

life.

Jason knew there was nothing he could say. Nothing he could do. So he did the one that

he thought would keep me stable. He took my hand in his and intertwined them. I dont know

what I would do without Jason; the normal things he does are probably the only things that are

keeping me sane right now.

I didnt even realize we were at the beach until I felt the scorching heat of the sand

through the adidas (Jason lent them to me). It was beautiful. The waves crashing at the shore,

the teenagers playing volleyball, even the two year olds eating sand. I looked up at Jason. I knew

he felt at home here. His eyes gleamed as he saw the consistent wave height. It looked perfect for

surfing. Jason pointed to four people in the distance.

Its time to meet my friends, he said casually. I had little butterflies in my stomach. Even

though it was just friends I couldnt help but being nervous. I started to make out the four people

into three guys and a girl. One of the guys the taller one had his arm around the girls waist. The

other two were in a deep conversation. I couldnt tell what about. They turned toward my

direction as the four saw Jason and me. The butterflies got bigger. I looked up to Jason for

reassurance. He looked down at me seeing the nerves in my eyes.


23/46

Dont worry, he said, theyre really cool. Youll love them. I couldnt go against Jasons

word.

As the silhouettes approached us, I grew more nervous and grabbed Jasons hand for strength.

We walked to meet them half way, and he squeezed my hand a little harder with each step.

Dude. Bubble gum. Dont listen to him Ash. A tall sunburned blonde said, his arm around the

girl who seemed to be Ash.

Dune has no friggin clue what hes saying. Its Sticky Bumps all the way.

An identical but I guess somewhat shorter sunburned blonde boy argued.

The girl laughed, trying to shut them up she said Guys. Its just SURF WAX, calm down

And then they saw us.

Well you certainly look better A quieter almost-blonde sunburned boy said, stepping up to

shake my hand. MUCH better said the Sticky Bumps fan, pushing the other guy out of the

way. Not that you looked bad before or anything, but nowI meanwow. Now that he

shielded the sun from my eyes, I could see he was pretty cute. His eyes were a washed out ocean

blue. Im Tide

The only brunette of the bunch pushed Tide over to shake my hand Youll have to excuse Tide

hes not the brightest crayon in the box if you catch my drift He looked younger than the other

boys, and had a slight Australian accent Im crash He looked at me with his super light amber

eyes, his pupils permanently shrunken from the sun, and held my hand a second longer than

appropriate. Im Dune said the tallest and oldest looking blonde, extending a hand without

removing the other one from the girls waist. She stepped up. Though she was also blonde, she

seemed more like a rocker chick in surfers clothing. Im Ashley, she said giving me a hug.

Ashley was so short she had to stand on her tiptoes to close her arms around my 5 4 tall body;


24/46

she couldnt have been more than 4 9. Ashley gripped my shoulders and pushed me back to

look at me. How have you been getting along? Jasons not trying anything funny is he? she

smiled but her face filled with concern. Though she was smaller than me she seemed older, and

continued to look at me as if I were her injured little sister.

Im fine, and Jason isnt so bad. You know, for the most part I smiled and winked.

Her bright turquoise eyes seemed like someone took the world and concentrated the color onto

her face. Lets go get changed Ashley said through a smile.

We walked away from the boys, but I could still feel their gaze burning into me. They like

you. She said as soon as we were out of earshot. Incase you havent already realized. I let out

the breath I wasnt even aware I was holding onto, and sighed with relief. Ashley smiled and

shook her head, her short cropped blonde hair bouncing close to her ears. So Jason really hasnt

told us anything about you. Tell me about yourself.

I wish I could I replied sighing again but I mustve hit my head on a rock or something, and I

cant remember a thing

Ohh that sucks. Her face twisted up with sympathy Well, what do you know? I mean, do you

remember anything? What have you been doing the last few days?

I explained my dreams to her, the photograph in my pocket, my list, and about Jason and me. She

took time to absorb everything, and then smiled slightly.

You must be really special

It certainly didnt feel that way What? I said, taking a break from our extensive trip to the

beach bathroom

Jason she started softly he doesnt fall very easily. We were surprised when he settled down

somewhat with Abby. So I dont know what youre doing but keep doing it She laughed, a


25/46

high tinkling sound, I liked her immediately.

We walked for the next few minutes in a silence that was more peaceful than awkward. I didnt

notice until we got to the bathrooms that Ashley was holding her stomach. I looked at her until

she looked back.

Cramps? I guessed, Do you have a stomach ache? Do you want to sit down?

There came that laugh again. Im fine. Better than fine. Can you keep a secret?

Who could I possibly tell? As far as I know yes. Whats going on?

Theres a little Dune coming our way in about six months. Ashley tried, unsuccessfully, to

hide a huge smile.

Really? Thats great! Does he know? I asked, confused at why she would want me to hide this

information

Im gonna tell him tonight. I just found out a couple weeks ago, I wanted to go to the doctors to

make sure everything was okay. Didnt want to know the sex of the baby though. I love

surprises Her tiny body bounced with joy, and I wondered what shed look like when she was

further along.

Im so happy for you! Oh my gosh! I know that when most people say theyre happy for you

they dont mean it, but I did. Does anyone else know? I asked her, wondering where this baby

would place in a world with two unwed parents.

Well other than you, I told my mom. Shes psyched, and my dad is cool with anything so the

baby should be fine.

Despite myself, I sighed with relief Good. I mean, great! And ummAshley? I hoped my

upcoming completely off topic question was okay.

Yeah?


26/46

Tide, Crash, Dune. Are those theirreal names? I blushed, waiting for her to yell at me but

she just bursted out in hysterics. When she caught her breath she replied

No, but their actual names are so much worse. Youre gonna have to keep another secret.

Dunes real name isMarlin! She still couldnt stop laughing in between names Crash is

really hes really Tiberius! And Dunes brother Tide is actuallyArthur! Brothers explained

the blonde haired blue-eyed resemblance. I was about to ask why their names were sofrom

what I could see, not them at all. But she too read my mind answering with

Their parents were really into naming them after people, like their great great grandparents or

something. Weve all been friends since we were little though, so we made up the nicknames.

Except for me and Jason of course, our names werent so bad.

While I processed everything, we went to go get changed. On the way here, I bought a white

bikini with pink hibiscus flowers, and I was actually pretty excited to put it on. Ashley and I

went into a big changing room so we didnt have to wait on line, and back-to-back we switched

into beachwear. I turned around, and so did Ashley in her pretty aquamarine one piece, not

looking the least bit pregnant.

What happened? She whispered and grabbed my arm. I hadnt paid much attention before,

thinking maybe the ocean just thrashed me around a bit, but now that I looked at my exposed

arms I saw that there was no way water, no matter what the strength, couldve made these marks.

The bruises were light purple and yellow blotches spreading from the sides of my neck to my

elbows. Among the healing wounds were angry red finger imprints. With tears in my eyes I

whispered back

I dont know

We sprinted back to the boys without saying a word. Ashley jumped into Dunes outstretched


27/46

arms, Jason rubbed his hands together and looked at me Are you ready?

I reluctantly took his hand when he offered it.

Come on girl! Tide shouted, Show some en-thu-si-as-emm! I smiled but stayed put. What

can I say? I was scared. I was found washed up on the shore, I wasnt so happy about diving

back in the ocean. Tide didnt seem to care though, he effortlessly picked me up and slung me

over his shoulder and ran until he was knee deep in water. I was laughing, but still horrified so I

clung to him when he tried to put me down.

Yeah he said with a smirk I had a feeling youd do that

Can we go out now? Please? I looked at him near tears

Whoa there, Its okay Its okay dont worry. Come on, were go back to the sand I gave him a

silent thank you as he sprinted and splashed back to shore, then softly tossed me on the sand.

Jason bent down to talk to me. Taking a hint, the others walked to the crashing waves.

Are you okay? Jason asked. He immediately saw the repairing splotches infecting my upper

body, but could see I didnt want to talk about them just yet. Was I really that easy to read?

Yeah, just little afraid is all I said, wondering if Jason would push any further, if he had

even pushed at all. But he didnt. He just linked our fingers and sprawled out into the warm sand

next to me.

Everything was perfect. My head on his neck, our hands intertwined, and our feet

touched the cold ocean waster as it went in and out. The sun above us was making everything

glow in the beach below. Lyk I said, everything was perfect until he spoke.

Its ok you knowto be afraid. He said cautiously.

no its not.


28/46

Is it because of the accident? he stated obviously. I could tell he wasnt sure what to do, but it

was sweet of him for tyring. But everytime I looked at his face, I kept seeing the day I was

found. It was scary for me to feel so helpless. To taste death. I felt lyk I had this inner instinct to

alwasys protect myself from weakness. I was just afraid to put myself in such a helpless position

again.

He started to sit up to get a better look at me.

I will always protect you, he said to me. I looked straight into his eyes and couldnt believe the

intensity and truth behind them.

I know, I trust you, it almost felt automatic, the way my thoughts jumbled the huge confusing

mess known as my life. The way I knew where to look for trust.

He grabbed my hand as we stood up. We both smiled. He saved me again ofcourse. This

time from myself. Jason ran into the crashing waves and I followed without hesatation. I trusted

him. My body became rigid as the cold shock hit my body. Jason laughed as he saw my shaking

body, and lifted me onto his back. I tied my hands around his neck and buried my face into his

soft black hair. He half ran, half swam to the others as we crashed into the mini waves.

Look whos getting comfy! called Crash, his shaggy blond hair swinging with his movement.

He had a goofy smile on his face that reminded me of a little kid.

Woooo! yelled Tide as he tackled Crash into the water.

Hey guys! Dune called, as he saw us approaching.

I reluctantly slid of Jasons back as the water started warming up to me. Dune,

Tide,Crash, and Ash all had their boards with them. I saw an extra one floating in the water. I

was guessing it was Jasons.


29/46

You ready to learn how to surf? Ashley asked giving me a hug. Her long blonde hair was

broken into thick strands across her back and her bright face smiled up at me.

Umm I think so? I questioned nervously.

Well good, she answered ignoring my hesitation, because youre riding with me!

Crash jumped in front of her. Actually youre riding with me. I blushed slightly. I can see they

all liked me (maybe a little too much), but I really just wanted to watch. I looked to Jason for

support on this. He just shrugged.

Wellumm I was cut off by Crash and Ash arguing over me. Well that was flattering.

Guys, guys! Dune called with his off-Australian accent, Obviously she should watch before

she tries. I let out a breath. I was really starting to lyk Dune. His auburn eyes always seem to

calm down the fire. A fire that the other three always seem to start.

Fine. Ill stay behind, tide stated. He acted lyk he was taking one for the team. I knew better. He

was taking one from the team.

Dont worry, I wont let you drown, he teased. I gave him an appraising look

Funny . I said sarcastically.

Jason and the others began to swim against the current and farther away from me, leaving me

with Tide. It felt awkward being with Tide, because as I watched the others, it felt lyk he was

watching me. Jason, Crash, Dune, and Ash were almost a shadow in the distance compared to the

sun that was shining over their heads.


30/46

So, how does it feel to um not remember? Tide asked carefully as he looked at the

shimmering ocean. He seemed lyk the kind of guy who always wanted to learn and see

everything. There was a gleam in his eye as he saw I was about to answer.

Its empty. It feels lyk you have this huge file cabinet and the file with the memories

were misplaced. They werent deleted or destroyed. Just lost in a different file.

I think Im getting you, he said, trying to hide his confusion. I tried a different approach.

Okay, well you know how when you see something familiar you trace back a memory? I

waited for him to nod and then continued. Well when I feel something familiar I cant find that

memory. So everything is new to me, but my feelings are the same. He seemed to understand

this and his face softened as he processed what I told him.

Wow so you dont remember anything. I debated whether to tell the whole truth. A little

editing wouldnt hurt.

Well I get flashes of memories. Lyk I know who my father is, but I just dont know his name or

anything else about him. He nodded. I could tell our conversation ended, he began to change the

subject to surfing. I listened at first to his prattling about how he first started surfing, and how

he wanted to be lyk this great surf king. But after he started talking about the best surf

companies, I lost him. I looked ahead as I saw the three of them surfing the larger waves in front

of us. It looked beautiful the way they moved their boards with their body. The way they would

lightly skim the edge of the wave as the top would roll in and consume them. Dune and Ashley

both crashed into a wave and they took a break and sat on a board together. The way they were

with each other reminded me of the boy I was in love with.


31/46

I had a glimpse of us sitting under a tree together. I was in his lap and he was hugging my

arms lightly tracing circles around the bruises on my arms. Im sorry, Im so sorry I wasnt there

to stop him. His voice was soothing but pained. I turned around to look at his perfect face. I

tucked the hair behind his ear and traced his jaw with my finger. Chase, dont. I couldnt bear to

see the pain in his face. Were going to leave this place one day Chase. Well leave together.

As soon as the memory came it left. Chase. That was his name. It was Chase. The face fit

perfectly with the name. And I fit perfectly with him. The fact that he wasnt with me made my

heart twist, and my throat tighten. Somehow I ended up here in California without him. But I left

because I was abused by. I wished so much that I could finish the sentence but no name came

to mind. It made me angry that someone would do this to me. It was even worse that I couldnt

remember, and that I was afraid to find out.

I almost forgot that Tide was there next to me. Luckily he was too distracted looking at

the waves then noticing my internal outburst that I thought was so huge and obvious. I saw that

the group was starting to come back toward us. Ash and Dune hand in hand. And Jason and

Crash joking around.

Hey baby! Jason called, giving me a hug. I couldnt hug back I was too overwhelmed

with what I just learned. I started walking back with them as they chatted about the waves they

road and the wipe outs they had. I was the only one stuck in my own head.


32/46

Chapter 4

Fall

After we all left the beach, Jason went to the store. I was going to come, but after what

happened today, I couldnt stand to be around anyone. I was sitting on the light wood porch in

his backyard, blasting music with an outdoor radio I found in the apartment. I couldnt keep

thinking. Not about Chase, my dad, or my former life. What if I wasnt meant to remember?

What if I secretly dont want to know? A few hours ago everything was perfect, I was with Jason

and we were happy. Now I cant even look at anyone without bursting into tears, because every

time I see someone, I expect him to be Chase when he turns around. Including Jason. I keep

thinking I should just give up on wondering about my old life.

No.


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I may not want to remember, but I cant leave my other life lyk this. I cant leave Chase lyk this.

I heard Jason walk through the door. I didnt move, or tell him where I was, but somehow

he found me. Maybe the blaring music revealed my obvious hiding spot. He walked through

the door. He made the beautiful bright backyard look dull and colorless in comparison. Bending

to lower the music, Jason sat next to me. He handed me a can of coke. I popped open the cap and

watched a puff of cool air float out of the top and into the humid afternoon air. I took a sip.

Do you want to tell me whats going on he asked.

Not really I replied, not able to look into his eyes. Ive never been so closed off with Jason, but

somehow I felt lyk if I told him about Chase, the tear in my heart would rip wider.

He looked lyk he was waiting for me to give in. All he did was sit with a statue like

stillness and work at me with that intense gaze of his. I never lifted my eyes from the crayola-

green grass, as I waited for pressing questions.

They never came.

I remember his name I whispered. I handed him the picture of Chase I had drawn the night

earlier. I saw Jason try to understand as best he could but it was no use. To him it was just a face

with a name. To me it was a memory, a life, a dream, and a supposed future. But now its gone.

Lost in an instant, lyk it fell out of me.

I didnt want to talk to Jason anymore, but I figured I owed him that much. I told him

about the memory with Chase and me. I told him that I was probably abused at home. I told him


34/46

of my plan to run away to California with Chase. And here I am in California without him. We

sat out there for a while, listening to the music, thinking of words that werent being said.

What about Delilah? Jason asked randomly. I was almost mad. Here I was, spilling out

the contents of my heart, and he was speaking gibberish? He saw anger and confusion spreading

across my face and started to explain. Your name Jason began quickly as he turned up the

music Delilah. Well no wonder. When I finally listened to the radio, the station was playing

Hey There Delilah by the Plain White-Ts. I remembered music. Jason started singing with Tom

Higgins. Even though his voice was scratchy and off-tune, it may have been the cutest sound Ive

ever heard. Hey there Delilah whats it like in New York City? Im a thousand miles away but

girl tonight you look so pretty, yes you do. Time square cant shine as bright as you. He stopped

to clear his throat and saw me blushing. He smiled You know its true He sang.

I couldnt help but smile back at him. The name fit in a bizarre way. Okay, but how about Dee

for short? I suggested.

Its a deal he said, holding out a pinky. We linked fingers and I looked up at the honest eyes

Ive learned to trust. Jason grabbed my other hand and flung me over his shoulder. I half

shrieked half laughed as he carried me down the stairs. He gentry dropped me on the soft grass

and grabbed my hands. Say it! he shouted through his laughter, a gleam in his eyes. I didnt

know what he was talking about, but I played along.

Never! I wont give in to your demands, I yelled dramatically, running away from him. He

shot me a mocking smile and chased me Are you sure about that?


35/46

I will never give in! I joked. His arms wrapped around my waist then grabbed my shoulders

and turned me around.

The you will have to take my punishment! he said through his grin before lightly slapping his

palms to both sides of my face and pressed his lips to mine. Once again I felt a jolt of lightning

and saw fireworks. He leaned away, leaving my breathless.

Have you learned your lesson? he asked playfully. It took me a second to realize what he was

talking about.

Ummm sure I replied in a daze.

Are you going to say it then? He asked.

Say what?

Your name!

That was it? All this for a name?

Dee! I screamed, knocking him over and locking him to the ground. I kissed him this time, and

felt the surprise on his face.

Dont try to distract me! You know thats not what I want! He said, referring to the kiss and

then what I had just said.


36/46

Fine I sighed Delilah! Delilah! Delilah! I shouted, making a big show of it, throwing my

hands up to the star-filled sky. I looked back down at Jason; he was leaning back on his elbows,

eyes sparkling. I loved the way he looked at me. Lyk I was the only person in the world.

It fits perfectly he whispered, lightly pulling a strand of hair from my face.

I laid on my back across from Jason, leaving our faces next to each other. We stayed

there for what could have been forever. Somewhere in between I fell asleep with Jasons arms

wrapped around me. My last thought before the dreams consumed me was about Chase, and how

he could be looking at the same sky as me... thinking of me

I awoke the next morning without recognition of how I got to my bed. Jason, I thought. He

probably carried me or something. I really should get up...but its so cozy under the velvety

covers. I think Ill just go back to...

WAKE UP! Ashley screamed, jumping out of nowhere, battering me with pillows.

Ugh! I groaned, shielding myself and burrowing further into the gray suede cushions.

Get! Up! She persisted, jumping up and down in a pseudo-tantrum.

But why-y-y? I whined, still groggy from sleep.

Because were going....SHOPPING! Her entire face seemed to smile, it was impossible

to say no to her, and shopping did sound good.


37/46

Fine I replied, dragging myself off the couch. I looked at the time 10:43 but I need

some time to get ready I pulled my fly-away hair from my face and headed to the bathroom.

Ashley jumped on the couch like it was her own house alright. Ill give you a half hour.

Jason and the boys are off to chase some big swell they heard about, so theyll be gone for most

of the day. She eyed my outfit, Jasons rather; a long burgundy t-shirt, torn at the sleeves, and

black, baggy, mesh basketball shorts, and smirked. And we need all the time we can get.

After I got done washing and brushing the weariness from me, I emerged refreshed at

11:04; Ashleys tiny body still sprawled out on the couch. A thought came to me; well over do I

said Wait. I dont have any money. Well, I have like twenty seven dollars but... She waved

away the rest of my sentence, and pulled out a silver credit card.

My Mom is a lawyer, and my Dad owns every Rip Tide Surf Shop in California, were

fine. Trust me.

I protested, I am no freeloader. But she just got behind me, pushed me out the door and

to her car, a blue Volkswagen beetle. I finally shut up and hopped in the passenger seat. Starting

the car and rolling down all the windows, Ashley screamed "Woooooooo! Whooooooooo!" and

drummed her fists on the steering wheel. I couldn't help but laugh, and she pulled out of the

driveway, beginning our adventure of the day. We stopped at a cute little store called Lucy's.

"First mission...sundresses!" Ashley said through her smile, throwing her hands in the

air after skipping out of the car. I mocked her, which resulted in a fake glare and a stuck out

tongue.


38/46

The bell rang when we walked in; the boutique was just as cute on the inside as it was on

the outside. Mannequins lined the soft pink walls, every one dressed in a variety of patterns and

colors. The middle of the shop was bare of anything but a make-shift runway, which lay outside

of the door marked "Fitting Room". A woman came up to us. Her light red-brown hair sprouted

from her head in curls, her name tag said Flo. "Hello there! I'm Flo! Do you see something you

might be interested in? Come in! Look around! Browse!" Her high-pitched voice oozed a

genuine friendliness, and she chatted away, showing us all the dresses and telling us which

would look "just absolutely marvelous" on us. Was everyone in California nice, or just the ones I

was fortunate enough to meet? By the time our little tour was over, Ashley was holding a stack

of dresses in her arms that piled so high it covered her face. I laughed and took the dresses from

her hands, then she pointed to the Fitting Room. The dresses were nice, a breezy cotton, and they

all fit. Every time I tried on I'd model it with a ridiculous walk on the "runway", causing Flo and

Ashley to burst out in hysterics. In the end though, I winded up buying a loose yellow halter

dress, a long strapless dress dotted with flowers, and a short black and white polka dotted tight-

ish dress that cinched at the waist.

We jumped back in the car when I realized something. "I forgot to tell you my name!"

"Your name?"

"Jason made it. It's Dee. Well, Delilah, but Dee for short." If I were saying it to anyone else

I would be embarrassed of the random flowery name, but Ashley didn't care. She thought it was

perfect and fit me well. We sang to the top of our lungs to the radio; A thousand miles, Sugar,

Don't Trust Me, until we finally made it to the (as Ashley put it) "Best Mall in California". We

had to park two blocks away from the entrance, but the weather was nice so it was okay. Ashley


39/46

said I needed more bathing suits, tops, shorts, and jeans for when the weather got colder, if I was

planning to stay. I guess I am, where else would I go? She said she needed more clothes too, and

told me how nice it was to associate with a girl, since she's always around Dune, Tide, Crash,

and Jason. We walked through stores, trying and buying so many clothes I thought we'd need a

crane to bring our things to the car. The last store we went to was Special Occasions, a store for,

well, special occasions. Ashley told me about a fancy Fourth of July party Tide had every year,

where his parents made everyone come in formal wear, and we needed nice dresses. These were

a bit harder to find. We spent a full hour in there, squeezing and pulling the materials over us.

Since we had to share a dressing room, Ashley once again saw my bruises. They healed slightly,

but even faded, the angry purple finger imprints showed. She picked up my arm and examined

me.

"Did you figure it out yet?" Ashley asked softly. She didn't need to specify.

"My step father" I said, and covered my mouth in automatic surprise. I hadn't even thought

I knew it. My eyes welled up with tears, for a reason I'd never be able to explain. Ashley changed

the subject before I had the chance to cry.

"Here, try this one" She said, digging through a mountain of slips and sequins to retrieve a

smooth short red dress. I immediately tried it on. Ashley gasped. "It's PERFECT" she said, her

mouth turning into an O. She dragged me to a mirror to see.

It was perfect. Not only did it fit better than any other dress, but it looked fantastic. The

strapless dress clung to me from my chest to my waist, then loosened at the bottom half, which

sluck out a tiny bit, ending at about an inch above my knee. This was my dress. "But what will


40/46

you-Ashley?" I couldve sworn she was just behind me. Suddenly, she whipped open a

curtained changing stall, revealing a dark blue sparkling dress. She struck a pose

"Looking for...me?" We laughed and marveled over our new dresses. From the corner of my

eye I caught Ashley holding her stomach, rubbing the scratchy dark blue material with a faraway

look in her eyes.

"Are you okay? Does your stomach hurt or something?" I asked, concerned.

She laughed lightly "I'm fine. Better than fine. Can you keep a secret?"

Whoa. This did not seem like the goofy confident Ashley I've been shopping with all day.

"Yeah. I mean, who would I tell?"

Her face tightened "No seriously, Jason can't even know right now. You have to swear you

won't tell anyone.

This was definitely weird. What's wrong with her? "I won't. What's going on Ash?" I know I

haven't known her long enough to be on a nickname basis, but at this point I didn't really care.

She smiled and patted her stomach. "Theres a little Dune coming our way." I got it

immediately.

"Oh my gosh! Congratulations! That's Great!" I hugged her, our dresses awkwardly

meshing. We laughed at the strange noise the material made, and I continued. "Who knows? You

know, other than me?"


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"Just my mom. She's pretty thrilled, I thought she'd be mad, but I guess not. I graduated last

year, me and Dune are both turning twenty in March, and I figured I would just run one of my

dad's shops, I could watch the baby while Dune went to college, he wants to be a contractor. We

planned all of this before, well you know, minus the little one. But I'm keeping it, you know?

Why not?"

Sounded good to me. I mean, I didn't even know what I was doing later on tonight, Ashley

had her whole life happily planned out. I had to admit, I was pretty jealous. "When are you

telling Dune? How far along are you?"

"I just found out a few weeks ago. I think I'll tell him at the party. My mom says I won't get

really big until I'm about seven months pregnant, and I'm only about five right now." She

shrugged it off. This was life for her. Ashley seemed like that kind of "roll with the punches"

person. An optimist. Strong. I decided then that she was my best friend. But what did that make

Jason?

"Come on" She said, pulling my lesser bruised arm, let's go eat. I'm starving...eating for two

and all" We laughed, changed, and got out of the store after buying our beautiful dresses. "To the

California pizza kitchen!" she screamed, even though it was just across the isle.

We left the restaurant an hour later, our stomachs full of pizza and our hands even fuller

with shopping bags. It was dark when we left the mall, just as it closed at 10:30. After driving me

home and unloading the bursting car, I gave her a hug goodbye. I was about to walk away when

she stopped me. "Dee." She said, using my name for the first time. "Just because you don't have

a past doesn't mean you can't make a future." And with that Ashley drove away.


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I climbed up the stairs and collapsed on Jasons bed. I didnt even bother changing out of

my new sundress. All I did was think about what Ashley said. Ive been here for almost two

weeks and havent done anything with my life except mope and cry. I could get a job and

apartment. Just start over. I cant expect Jason to take care of me forever. I keep thinking that my

life is a curd, but what if it wasnt so bad. What if I had dreams about my future, and what I

wanted to be. An artist, of a writer, even a musician. I wonder if I had this whole future with

Chase, just lyk Ashley and Dune. Somewhere in between I drifted into sleep.

I hopped onto his queen size bed, that took up most of his room space. His dark blue

blankets were strewn across the unmade bed. I looked at Chase and waited for him to play.

Come on baby, he wined, you know its not finished.

I smiled, you cant just say your writing a song for me and expect me to wait patiently.

I knew I convinced him when he grabbed his guitar and sat on the bed next to me. He started

playingthe lovely tune as I layed on the bed and closed my eyes. He kissed me lightly when he

finished and told me how I was everything he wanted. I was drifting then and the scene started to

change. I was in the woods running, the warm trees hiding the sunset and protecting me from the

outside.

I heard a boys voice in the distance. He was calling my name.

Dee! Where are you? his voice made my heart skip and I ran toward him.

Im over here! I called back, my voice high pitched and childlike.


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A twelve year old Chase jumped out of a tree behind me. I laughed with him as we collapsed

under the tree together. He held my hand and I began to think about all the days we would have

just lyk this. All the futures we could have.

Chase? I asked, grabbing his attention.

yea, he mumbled.

What do you want to do when you grow up.

He thought for a second, I want to be with you.

I laughed, and how do you plan to do that?

He gave me a mocking smile, Ill show you if you close your eyes

I played along with his game. I heard him shuffling around.

okay, open your eyes, I did. I saw Chase, his eyes gleaming. He held out my hand and gave

me a small ring. It was beautiful. The ring was silver and it had a small intricate design

wrapping around the silver promise. I realized Chase was waiting for me to say something.

This is a good plan, I said softly. He laughed

I hope so. Look on the inside.

I flipped over the ring and put it close to my face, but the ring disappeared. I looked at Chase to

for an explination but he was gone too. i called out his name but no one answered.


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I woke up to find myself on the edge of Jasons bed. It was just a dream. Right? I looked

down at the ring. I thought about the dream and what Chase said about the inscription. I was

about to take off the ring to look inside, but I was too afraid. Im not sure about what though.

Maybe its the truth that could be in the ring. For all I know Im married. I decided to drop the

subject. I wasnt ready to find out anything more.

I went looking for Jason, but he wasnt home. I was sort of happy about that, I wanted

some time for myself. I looked trough my many bags of clothes. Most of them were too nice for

an in the house day. After looking through the third bag, I found a pair of jean Capris and an

of the shoulder sweatshirt. I slouched down the stairs and grabbed the notebook on the table. I

flipped through my list and wrote about the new things I learned about the dream. I didnt really

need to write the list anymore, everything new was already burned into my mind. I closed the

book, humming the familiar tune from last nights dream.

I knew it was going to be a slow day. Ashley was probably with Dune and Jason was at

work. I suddenly remembered what I promised yesterday. I was going to get a job. No one was

home, but I didnt need them. From now on Im going to be independent, I didnt need Jason and

Ashley babying me and watching me all the time. With my new found confidence, I slipped on

my new pink flip flops and flew out the door. I basically knew the way to the beach. I figured Ill

get a job as a life guard, or work at one of those little stands on the beach. I began my walk of

pride under the warm friendly sun, waiting for the responsibility.


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Chapter 5

Beginning


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I reached the beach at around lunch time. I headed toward the life guard stand, squinting

in the sunlight as my feet dragged on the hot sand. I passed a few couples lying on the blanket

together, little boys huddling around a pile of sand, and even a cute little four year old girl with a

pink hat patting the sand with a shovel. Everything here was picture perfect, something you only

saw in movies. Everything except me. Maybe on the outside, with my California clothes, I would

blend into the background; but my problems would consume anyone of these calm happy people.

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