Honors Biology Ch. 17 Organizing Life’s Diversity Organizing Life’s Diversity.
Finding&Inner&Resilience&to&Face&Life’s&Challenges&princetonumc.info/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Karin-Mens-breakfas… ·...
Transcript of Finding&Inner&Resilience&to&Face&Life’s&Challenges&princetonumc.info/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Karin-Mens-breakfas… ·...
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Finding Inner Resilience to Face Life’s Challenges
Karin Brouwer, March 7th 2015, PUMC – Men’s Breakfast
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Finding Inner Resilience to Face Life’s Challenges
• My background
• CBT (Cogni3ve Behavioral Therapy)
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CBT Model
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Thoughts
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Thoughts
• Our thoughts aren’t facts! • I might think the sky is pink but that doesn’t mean it really is
• We can see how our thoughts are powerful and can be the start of a vicious circle
• We can learn to iden3fy, challenge and update our thoughts
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Thought Challenging
• When you no3ce a change in your emo3ons, backtrack and try to iden3fy the thoughts that went before
• Think about these thoughts – are they helpful and realis3c?
• Did I fall into a thinking trap? • Update them to make them more realis3c/helpful
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Unhelpful (self defea3ng) Belief
• Rigid and Absolute Must’s, Should’s, Have To’s, Ought’s
• + 1 or more Deriva3ves – The end of your personal world – ‘I can’t stand it’ – I am worthless, you are no good
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Helpful ( ra3onal) Belief
• Flexible Wishes, Wants, Preferences and Desires
• + 1 or more Deriva3ves – BaTered but not ShaTered – I can stand it but I don’t like it – Never rate yourself or others, only behaviors or traits
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Emo3ons
Feelings are like waves. You cannot stop them from coming but you can decide which ones to surf.
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Nega3ve Emo3ons
Unhealthy • Anxiety • Depression • Guilt • Shame • Hurt • Anger (at a person)
Healthy • Concern • Sadness • Remorse • Disappointment • Sorrow • Anger (at behaviour)
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Emo3ons
• Reduce vulnerability to distressing emo3ons with “PLEASE”
• These act as your “baseline” to wellbeing
treat PhysicaL illness balance EaGng
avoid mood-‐Altering drugs balance Sleep get Exercise
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Helpful Hints
• Try to get some fresh air every day • Exercising 20min every day is just as effec3ve as an3-‐depressants
• Make 3me for sleep (don’t nap during the day and avoid “screen 3me” 1 hour before bed)
• Avoid caffeine and alcohol • Don’t have lunch at your desk • Regular breaks (10 mins every 2 hours) are beTer than fewer longer breaks
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Behaviour
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Ac3vi3es • When we are stressed our ac3vi3es tend to be just
achievement and rou3ne based – but that’s no fun and makes us feel worse!
• Make sure each day has a balance of the following:
Pleasurable AcGvity (Favourite TV programme, get a massage, go shopping.)
Achievement AcGvity
(Doing the weekly shop, paying the bills, wri<ng a birthday card)
RouGne AcGvity (Shower, brush teeth, collect the mail)
Interpersonal
(Phone a friend, go out for dinner)
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Physical
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Self-‐Soothe
• Be kind to yourself using your senses when under extreme stress
• Vision – holiday photos, favourite movie • Hearing – happy music, sound of nature • Taste – a piece of chocolate • Touch – stroke the cat, hand massage • Smell – favourite perfume, fresh bread
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Be in the present (mindfulness) • Try no3cing the things we don’t normally no3ce because our heads are in the future or the past
• We might go into the garden and think “I should have cut that grass last week”, “those hedges need to be trimmed back”
• A key skill is learning to control our focus of aTen3on
"Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery,
Today is a Gift, That’s why it's called the
Present"
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What I have learned as a counsellor
• People can learn at every stage of life that they can change their thoughts and thereby change the outcome of a situa3on
• It is empowering to know that you have that choice, that you are not depending on circumstances, other people or previous experiences
• CBT offers you tools and techniques to ‘break the cycle’
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Other Reading / Sources
• Boundaries – McCloud and Townsend
• Asser3veness – Chris Williams Workbook
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Boundaries
• ‘When to say yes, when to say no’, to take control of your life
• They are personal property lines that define who you are and who you are not, they influence all areas of your life (physical, mental, emo3onal, spiritual boundaries)
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AsserGveness
• The difference between being passive, aggressive, asser3ve
• Being asser3ve helps to stand up for who you are in a healthy way without pugng others down