Find your Shameless Spark!

Denise R. Jacobs Inspiring Women LIVE! Bristol, UK 24 September 2014

Bust Blocks to Shameless Self-Promotion

@denisejacobs

@iwomenlive #iwomenlive

#shameless-spark

Let me tell you a story

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Of how I went from this…

Photo: Denise Jacobs

To this…

Photo: Aarron Walter

To this (!)…

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And this…

Photo: Derek Kearney

And THIS!

http://TheCreativeDose.com/

SQUEEEEEE!!!!!

Photo: Denise Jacobs

February/March

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Upon finishing my first book…

Photo: Dense Jacobs

I had an epiphany

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It’s all about this!

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My book is on web design/development

Photo: Denise Jacobs

Wanted to speak at web design conferences

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Who I was – vs -- Who I wanted to become Photos: Denise Jacobs & http://www.flickr.com/photos/jcornelius/6276948549/

Getting work as a web designer

I practiced Shameful Self-Promotion

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Exactly.

So what changed?

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This.

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“Happiness is not just a mood—it’s a work ethic…..Happiness is actually the precursor to success.” Shawn Achor, The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work

Found the key and opened up

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So, let’s bust through the blocks

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Internalized criticisms + fears

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= The evil voices in your head

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aka The Inner Critic

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The “troll under the bridge”

Mass hypnosis

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Part of your social eco-system

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“Obsessing about preventing bad things from happening also prevents good things from happening, or sometimes prevents anything from happening at all.” Scott Berkun, The Year Without Pants

Physical evidence of fear

http://www.flickr.com/photos/grumpyfeline/4626401443/

Internal manisfestations of Fear

http://brenebrown.com/2014/04/08/daring-interview-series-meet-gavin-aung/

“OMG, I’m SO busy!”

“I should have done more by now…”

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“I don’t know enough”

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“They’ll find out I’m a fraud”

vs. “NAILED IT!”

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Impostor Syndrome Paradox

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“It needs to be PERFECT”

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“I’ll do it tomorrow…”

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“Really, I’ll do it tomorrow.”

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“I will do it tomorrow!”

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Feed each other

Illustration: Denise Jacobs

“I’m afraid to take the plunge”

Photo: Denise Jacobs

“What if I fail?”

http://www.flickr.com/photos/laughingsquid/2717325940/

F.E.A.R. =

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“Fear is not real. It is a product of the thoughts you create. Do not misunderstand me. Danger is very real. But fear is a choice.” - character of Cypher Raige (played by Will Smith), After Earth

Banish Your Inner Critic!

https://www.flickr.com/photos/31505964@N08/4691019168/

Eliminate Should/Must/Ought/Have to

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Realize it doesn’t have to be prefect

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“She could never go back and make some of the details pretty. All she could do is move forward and make the whole more beautiful.” - Terri St. Cloud

Perfection ≠ Excellence

https://www.flickr.com/photos/kaldoche/4771465356

Remember humble beginnings

Twitter, circa 2006

Reframe #FAIL

http://www.flickr.com/photos/laughingsquid/2717326642/

*WHATEVER*

Question “Them”!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/barretthall/3036598475

Cop a Power Pose

Recognize & support your spark

http://www.flickr.com/photos/aguslepe/5512044294/

From Spark to Flame: How to be on Fire

https://www.flickr.com/photos/themeowverlord/15127287270

“The only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” - Steve Jobs, 2005 Stanford Commencement speech

Focus on being “Self-ful”

http://www.flickr.com/photos/siutou_amy/2306794554/

Self-ful-ness: Caring for your own welfare so that you are able to care for the welfare of others.

The Oxygen Mask Theory

Leads to selflessness

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mazgrp/2050810720/

Share of your gifts

https://www.flickr.com/photos/mcgraths/3277839203

Remember it’s about this, and

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R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Recognize your brilliance

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jonathan_hamner/3386076488/

DO NOT focus on your weaknesses

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You will only improve 10-15 %

(and it will be painful) Tom Rath, Strengths Finder 2.0

Be BOLD

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Propose Yourself

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How I got my book deal (in 2 slides)

Photo: Denise Jacobs

Bam!

Reach out

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Yes!

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Value yourself

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WWWGD?

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Learn from them

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Also

Photo: Denise Jacobs

Because it’s magic

Leads to this

https://www.flickr.com/photos/smakula/2278741812

FOWD site March 26, 2010

FOWD site April 15, 2010

Promote

Listen

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No, really listen

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Pair up

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kara_allyson/5358611092/

Many hands make light work

http://thecreativedose.com/#who-we-are

Play!

Photo: Denise Jacobs

Enjoy + Good at + Feeling Empowered

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= Empowered Play

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Get in the Zone

Start reaching for opportunities

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But even better, you’ll also start to

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People will seek you out

Great advice

Photo: Denise Jacobs

And keep remembering that it’s all about

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You’ll light your shameless spark

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And stop feeling like this

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But instead, enter into a special pact

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Photo by Derek Kearney

This significant shift

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Has created AMAZING things for me

Because I am now joyfully shameless!

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My main regret?

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That I waited so long

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What you want wants YOU

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So that you will

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“Have the courage to follow your heart and intution. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” - Steve Jobs

Truth.

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To find your shameless spark!

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And use it to light up your self-promotion

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And change lives for the better

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Thank You!

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Photo used with permission: http://www.flickr.com/photos/aarronwalter/4629078087/

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