BY P H I L I P H A A S

FINAL PORTFOLIO

INFORMAL PIECES

• I chose topics that I found interesting and relatable to my personal life• Topics include:• Technology• Buffalo current events• Funny Youtube videos

STRENGTHS

• I was able to find ways to connect to the topics given.

• I was able to relate a movie I had seen to the topic provided by one of my classmates.

WEAKNESSES

• I had trouble creating transitions between ideas. At times I am unsure when to create a new paragraph. I also need to work on my conclusion sentences. I tend to end paragraphs with just a regular sentence.

ANALYTICAL ESSAY

• From the first draft to the final draft, I corrected:• Intro paragraph and thesis statement• Information and content• Transitions of paragraphs• Including sources

First Draft:

Final Draft:

• I refined my thesis to be more specific in what I am analyzing• I narrowed my topic to include information a reader would be

interested in. It allowed me to have a better conversation with the listener

My weakness is listing information that only add to the bulk of the essay but does not further give substance to the piece as a whole. I need to work on explaining why information like this is important.Final Draft:

Final Draft:

I improved my conclusion paragraph but need to additionally work on explaining the importance of the topic.

ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAY

• From the first draft to the final draft, I corrected:• Citations and sources• Strengthening my argument by using more details• Conclusion paragraph• Transition of paragraphs

Second Draft:

Final Draft:

I included more about how piracy is hindering the advancement of knowledge and information. By using examples of books, it shows that piracy isn’t just used for music and movies. It strengthens the argument further.

First Draft:

Final Draft:

I added to the conclusion in a way to make it emphasize the implications of my argument. It explains why the information I provided matters.

OVERALL STRENGTHS• I am good at listing data that can support my

essay. I find that listing facts makes my essays more convincing.

OVERALL STRENGTHS

• I am also good at explaining definitions and terms that the readers may not understand

OVERALL WEAKNESSES

• I need to work on transitioning my paragraphs better. I tend to jump around with my ideas.

You recommended that one paragraph belonged with another paragraph because it flowed ideas better.

OVERALL WEAKNESSES

• I have trouble summing up my information in the conclusion to discuss the overall importance and implications. I have been working on fixing this in my Argumentative and Analytical essays. • I also need to work on citing my sources when I

find the information. In my early drafts, I would use information I found and forget to cite it. This would cause complications later when I had to search to find the source again.