Fighting for Joy Cover - Redemption Hill...

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Fighting for Joy

March 11-‐12, 2016

Redemption Hill Church Richmond, VA

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About Heart Song Counseling

Heart Song Counseling’s mission is to assist and equip churches in the care of their congregation and community by providing theologically sound counseling to those in need of emotional, spiritual and relational health. Heart Song achieves that mission through three main activities: direct counseling, coordination and consultation with pastors, and class and seminar offerings. About the Speakers Jason Hsieh is a Biblical Counselor and Registered Dietitian with Heart Song Counseling, serving the Richmond, VA, and Washington, DC areas. His counseling includes helping those struggling with broken relationships, marital conflict and intimacy, depression, obsessive-‐compulsive disorder, loneliness, being single, and pornography. He has taught classes and seminars on a variety of topics, including unity in Christian households, addictions, helping others change, and the basics of biblical counseling. Jason obtained his Master of Arts in Biblical Counseling from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, a Master of Public Health from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, and his Bachelor of Science in Clinical Nutrition from the University of California at Davis. He enjoys travelling, listening to Bach and Handel, watching Downton Abbey, reading the Bible in nature, following the NBA, and partaking in the performing arts. He has been a member of Capitol Hill Baptist Church since 2004. Patty Ahearn recently joined Heart Song Counseling as a Biblical Counselor and serves the Richmond, VA, Northern Virginia, and Maryland areas. For many years, Patty has served in ministries that disciple, care for and encourage women, including prayer and counseling ministries. Having experienced the grace of Jesus Christ and desiring to share His life transforming work through counseling, Patty attended Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. She took the opportunity to work part-‐time while pursuing an MA in Biblical Counseling and was then certified through the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC). Prior to becoming a biblical counselor, Patty worked in the Information Technology field providing software solutions predominately in the business sector. She received a BS in Business Administration, Management Information Systems from Old Dominion University, in her hometown of Norfolk, VA. Patty enjoys getting together with family and friends. Some of her interests include the beach, hiking at Great Falls, biking, visiting historical sites and museums. She has been a member of Cherrydale Baptist Church since 2003. Special Thanks A special thank you to Chris DeRoco, Shelby Miller, and Ryan Burns of Redemption Hill Church for their support and assistance in getting this weekend together. This would not have happened without the three of you!

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Fighting for Joy Agenda

Friday, March 11, 2016 6:00 PM Registration and Doors Open Light refreshments served 7:00 PM – 7:15 PM Worship, Welcome, Introductions, and Preliminary Remarks 7:15 PM – 7:45 PM How to Fight for Joy in a Fallen World John 16:16-‐24 7:45 PM – 8:00 PM Break 8:00 PM – 9:30 PM Weapons in Our Fight For Joy

• Weapon One: Draw from the Right Foundations • Weapon Two: Engage Your Entire Being • Weapon Three: Apply the Right Foundations Specifically

Saturday, March 12, 2016 8:15 AM Registration and Doors Open Coffee and light refreshments served 9:00 AM – 9:15 AM Worship and Testimony: Patty Ahearn 9:15 AM – 10:30 AM Using Our Weapons to Defeat Specific Kill Joys, Part I

• Ingratitude and Criticism • Depression

10:30 AM – 10:45 AM Break 10:45 AM – 12:15 PM Using Our Weapons to Defeat Specific Kill Joys, Part II

• Anxiety and Worry • Addictions and Escape

12:15 PM – 12:30 PM Wrap Up and Next Steps

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Contents

Introductions and Preliminary Remarks 6 How to Fight for Joy in a Fallen World: 7 A Message from John 16:16-‐24 Weapon One: Draw from the Right Foundations 10 Weapon Two: Engage our Entire Being Daily 26 Weapon Three: Apply the Right Foundations Specifically 31 Using Our Weapons to Defeat Specific Kill Joys: 38 Ingratitude and Criticism 39 Depression 41 Anxiety and Worry 43 Addictions and Escape 45 Worksheet A: Must Have/Nice to Have 47 Worksheet B: What Shapes You? 48 Worksheet C: Anxiety and Worry 53 Worksheet D: But I Have to Do It 54 Resources 55

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The Solid Rock

Verse 1 My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness; I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

Verse 2 When darkness veils his lovely face, I rest on his unchanging grace; In every high and stormy gale, my anchor holds within the veil.

Chorus On Christ, the solid rock, I stand; all other ground is sinking sand,

All other ground is sinking sand.

Verse 3 His oath, his covenant, his blood support me in the whelming flood; When every earthly prop gives way, he then is all my hope and stay.

Verse 4 When he shall come with trumpet sound, O may I then in Him be found, Clothed in his righteousness alone, faultless to stand before the throne.

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Introductions and Preliminary Remarks 1. Christian joy is rooted in relationship with God, not temporary circumstances, self-‐

esteem, or positive thinking (Jeremiah 20: 7-‐18; Habakkuk 3:17-‐19).

2. Christian joy comes from obedience to God and promoting his purposes (Psalm 112:1). 3. Even so, joy isn’t our main purpose (2 Peter 1:3-‐4).

4. Christian joy must be fought for on a daily basis; it doesn’t just happen (Ephesians 6:10-‐18).

5. Seek specific guidance for the specifics of your life (John 4:16-‐18). 6. Joy, happy, or glad? The importance of definitions and means. 7. When circumstances may need to change. 8. Joy and sadness can be influenced by various factors, all under God’s designs.

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How to Fight for Joy in a Fallen World A Message from John 16:16-‐24

1. Seek the right perspective (:17-‐18).

2. Trust that Christ knows what troubles us (:19). 3. Be sad, not happy, when Christ is out of the picture (:20).

4. Remember that mourning is temporary and produces joy (:21).

5. Root your joy in something powerful and permanent (:22).

6. Align yourself with God’s purposes (:23-‐24).

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Weapons in Our Fight For Joy Have you ever said or thought the following?

• If I could just have…..then I would be…. • If my boss were just more….then…. • I’m just not wired like that • Why bother? • What do I get out of this? • I know it’s wrong, but it feels so right….. • It’s my body – I can do whatever I want

What are we expressing with those statements?

• Hope and trust in circumstances • Us on the throne • What others can do for you • Change is not possible

What are we up against in our fight for joy?

• Our enemy is dangerous (1 Peter 5:8)

• Our enemy uses deception (Genesis 3)

• We want to be on the throne and establish our purposes (Daniel 4:28-‐30; Matthew

20:20-‐28)

• Sin and worldly joy can be easier than faithfulness (Proverbs 20:17a; 1 Peter 1:13)

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• Sin and worldly joy can seem so much more tangible (Jonah 4:5-‐11)

• Our fight is against more than what we can see (Ephesians 6:12) So what do we fight with? (2 Corinthians 10:3-‐5)

• Not the weapons of this world

• Something powerful enough to break down strongholds and lies In our fight for joy, we have three main weapons (with plenty of sub-‐points):

Weapons in Our Fight for Joy

1. Draw from the right foundations

2. Engage our entire being daily

3. Apply the right foundations specifically

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Weapon One: Draw from the Right Foundations

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The Right Foundation: God’s Character, His Word, and Purposes The foundations for our joy from God’s character, His word, and His purposes: God’s character: grace, faithful, good, just, trustworthy, and more! God’s Word: Scripture, bible study, sermons, biblical counsel God’s purposes: His own glory, salvation, relationship, forgiveness, repentance, community, growth through trial, and more!

Eight ways to draw from the right foundations:

1. Delight in God Himself 2. Delight in the Gospel 3. Delight in your relationship with God 4. Delight in trials 5. Delight in putting others first 6. Delight in fellowship and community 7. Delight in repentance and obedience to God 8. Delight in the eternity to come

Start each of the eight sections with The What – the doctrine, the truth. Then ideas for application – in light of the doctrine, what are the implications, what are we called to do, what is our reasonable act of worship, to paraphrase Romans 12:1. Many of the points to come will include verses to point you in the right direction. Please do consider the context and passage in which those verses are found for a fuller understanding.

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1. Delight in God Himself

The What • God’s power (Job 40-‐41) • God’s wisdom (Psalm 104:24; 1 Corinthians 1:18-‐31) • God’s reign (Psalm 11) • God’s character (Psalm 22:24-‐25) • God’s disclosure of His plans (Jeremiah 29:10-‐14) • God’s disclosure of Himself through Christ (Hebrews 1:1-‐3) • God’s holiness (Revelation 4:1-‐11) • God’s sovereignty (Ruth 4:18-‐22) • God’s omnipresence (Psalm 139) Ideas for Application1 • Privately and publically praise Him for all He is

o Not just for what He does for you! • Read Psalms like 145-‐150 • Remember God’s character when tempted with sin (Genesis 39:9-‐10) • Include worship songs and hymns in your daily devotionals (Ephesians 5:19-‐20) • Host/participate in praise and worship nights • Thank him when you realize you are not like Him (Psalm 89:8) • Trust God even when life does not go your way (Philippians 1:18-‐19) • Think great thoughts about your God (Psalm 40:5) • Surround yourself with friends who love the Lord

1 There will of course be overlap between the what and the application. Some of these are commands from Scripture, others exhortations, still others some ideas. Applications will be numerous and are not limited to what is listed here. Weapon Three will provide ideas for how to apply specifically to yourself or your friends. As is said during the conference, do apply, but base it in the context of your relationship with the Lord and sound doctrine. Return to that relationship and that doctrine to remind yourself why you are doing something when it gets hard.

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2. Delight in the Gospel The What • We are forgiven for our sin (Isaiah 5:6-‐7; Psalm 32:2)

• There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ (Romans 8:1-‐2) • Nothing outside of unbelief is unforgivable (Mark 3:28-‐29; Romans 8:1)

• We can have a relationship with God (Psalm 51:12; Hebrews 10:19-‐22)

• We can get out of the pig pen of sin and say no to sin (Luke 15:16-‐18; Titus 2:12) • No further sacrifices are necessary for your standing before God (Hebrews 10:10) Ideas for Application • Converse and dialogue about the Gospel (Colossians 3:16) • Pray for conversions through your conversations • Look for ways to hear about local and international evangelism • Don’t dwell long on your sin; remember you’re forgiven! (Matthew 5:4) • Read through the Gospels slowly • Host local and international ministry workers (3 John 8) • Faithfully and joyfully attend baptisms • Tell others that forgiveness of sin is possible! • Tell others that a relationship with God is possible! (Psalm 73:28) • Encourage others (and yourself) that change is possible! (2 Corinthians 10:3-‐5) • Be a member of a Gospel preaching church • Hold your pastors accountable for preaching and living the Gospel • Consider leaving your church if the Gospel is not preached • Leave your church if the carpet or cookies aren’t good (J/K)

o Give generously to legitimate ministries (2 Corinthians 8:2)

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3. Delight in your relationship with God The What • God invites you to a relationship with Him through Christ (John 14:6)

• He has revealed to you what his great plans are (John 15:15)

• He invites you to participate in His purposes (John 17:21-‐23)

• There are no barriers to accessing your relationship (Hebrews 10:19-‐22) Ideas for Application

• Drink deeply from His word (Psalm 119:11; Acts 17:11) • Express your confusion, questions, and doubts to him (Psalm 13; Jeremiah 20:7-‐18) • Give thought to your ways (Haggai 1:5-‐7) • Go to God boldly in prayer, confession, and worship (Hebrews 10:22; Psalm 51) • Go to God in prayer….whether for the 10th or 1,000th time…. • Love others as God has loved you (Ephesians 4:25-‐5:2; 1 John 4:7-‐11) • Make choices that reflect your relationship (Genesis 39:9; Jeremiah 20:8-‐9; Daniel 3:16-‐

18; 2 Corinthians 6:14; Ephesians 4:3-‐6)

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4. Delight in trials The What • Our trials do have a purpose (James 1:2-‐3, 12; 1 Peter 1:6-‐9; 2 Timothy 4:6-‐8)

• Christ was acquainted with grief; he was a man of sorrows (Isaiah 53:3) • Our trials do have an expiration date (John 16:21-‐22)

• We can bear whatever trial God gives us (1 Corinthians 10:13)

• We are not alone; friends have also been tested (1 Corinthians 10:13a)

• Trials show God’s love for us (Proverbs 3:11-‐12; Hebrews 12:6) Ideas for Application • Comfort others as you have been comforted (2 Corinthians 1:3-‐5) • Be hospitable and serve, even during trials (1 Peter 4:9) • Rejoice with those who rejoice (Romans 12:15) • Tell others the Gospel • Continue to believe (Hebrews 10:32-‐36) • Rejoice amidst persecuted (Philippians 1:12-‐14) • Ask for spiritual, physical, mental, and practical help (2 Timothy 4:13; 21) • Exercise, eat well, get rest • Remember previous trials

o What did you do that was helpful? o Looking back, how have you grown? o What did you do that lessened your joy? o Recount your growth during and after previous trials o Remember joy that arose during and after previous trials

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5. Delight in putting others first The What • God has designed us to find joy by putting others before ourselves (John 15:10-‐14)

• Be gracious with your preferences (Philippians 2:3-‐4)

• Jesus serves as the supreme example of putting others first (Philippians 2:5-‐11)

• By putting our own wants first, we are guaranteed conflict and strife (James 4:1-‐2) Ideas for Application • In the next week, without telling them, for 2-‐3 days…

o Take a fast from criticizing a spouse, co-‐worker, pastor, or friend (See Worksheet D: But I Have to Do It)

• Watch someone else’s favorite program or sport with them • Do household chores or maintenance according to someone else’s preferences • Do something that would be meaningful for someone or an obvious way to grow for you • Rejoice when others do well, especially if you wanted what they got (Romans 12:15) • Consider both practical and spiritual needs of others (Philippians 2:20-‐21) • Remember any sacrifice is temporary • Love others by telling them the Gospel • Consider what informs your preferences (See Worksheet: What Shapes You) • Think of the last three times you put yourself first – what happened?

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6. Delight in fellowship and community The What • Christians delight in the presence of other Christians (2 John 12)

• Christians delight in the growth of other Christians (1 Thessalonians 2:17-‐3:10)

• Christians delight in the unity of believers (Psalm 133; Philippians 2:1-‐2) Ideas for Application • Consider how you can prioritize household devotions, community group, and Sunday

services • Inconvenience yourself to be with other Christians (2 Timothy 1:16-‐18) • Persevere in meeting with other believers (Hebrews 10:25) • Engage in deep relationships so you can get a front row seat to God’s work • Speak truth to one another in love (Ephesians 4:15) • Remind each other about the Gospel • Base your unity and fellowship on God’s character, Word, and purposes • Practice hospitality in light of God’s grace to you (Romans 12:13b)

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7. Delight in repentance and obedience to God

The What • We are guaranteed sadness if we continue to sin (Psalm 32:3-‐5) • We are made to worship God -‐ not sin, not our culture, upbringing, gender, or any other

affiliation (Philippians 3:4-‐11)

• Sin tastes sweet at first, but the check comes due big time (Proverbs 20:17) • Obedience is hard at first, but sweet later (Hebrews 12:2)

• Joy = obedience

o Right now, what are 1-‐2 ways you joyfully obey?

o Right now, what are 1-‐2 ways in which it’s hard for you to joyfully repent and obey? Ideas for Application • Turn regularly from sin (Colossians 3:5-‐10) • Turn thoroughly from sin -‐ thoughts, desires, actions (Ephesians 4:22-‐24, James 4:1-‐2)

o Aim to understand the desires, demands, and lies about God that drive your sin • Find a few trustworthy and gracious people to help you fight • Understand the circumstances in which it is harder for you to be faithful

o Plan your days and ask for prayer accordingly • Tell others the Gospel to remember who’s side you are on • Reflect on whether your sin actually gave you what you thought it would • Stop going to a church or counselor that isn’t serious about sin and repentance (2 Timothy

4:3; 1 John 1:8, 10)

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8. Delight in the eternity to come The What • Recognize we’re just pilgrims (1 Peter 1:11)

• Be dissatisfied with this world so that you can be fruitful (Philippians 1:21-‐26)

• Persevere amidst weariness and groaning knowing we are bound for eternal worship of God (Romans 8:23-‐25)

• Recognize hardships are just temporary (Romans 8:18)

Ideas for Application • Steward your time accordingly (Ephesians 5:15-‐16) • Steward your money accordingly • Steward your conversations accordingly (Ephesians 5:19-‐20) • Steward your affections accordingly (Ephesians 5:20) • Center your life around intake of God’s word and fellowship with others • Judgment awaits: tell others the Gospel (Luke 16:19-‐31)

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To recap, we want to draw from the right foundations in our fight for joy. We draw from the right foundations when we :

Eight ways to draw from the right foundations:

1. Delight in God Himself 2. Delight in the Gospel 3. Delight in your relationship with God 4. Delight in trials 5. Delight in putting others first 6. Delight in fellowship and community 7. Delight in repentance and obedience to God 8. Delight in the eternity to come

No limits There are no limits to joy in any of the above eight areas. Draw liberally from them. Hold tightly to those sources of joy. Remember them and pursue them. In contrast, a second foundation for joy is God’s creation and non-‐salvific gifts, should be enlisted in our fight, but has its limits. Let’s explore further how we can use God’s creation and non-‐salvific gifts within appropriate limits in our fight for joy starting on the next page.

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A Second Foundation: God’s Creation and Non-‐Salvific Gifts God’s creation – Romans 1:20

• Woods, canyons, mountains, oceans, people, animals, food, and more! • Points to God and shows us truths about Him and ourselves • But not God Himself, does not save us, not to be worshiped

God’s non-‐salvific gifts

• Relationships, work, money, architecture, sports, the arts, sex, literature (Genesis 2:15; Colossians 3:17; 1 Timothy 4:8

• Also points to God and shows us truths about Him and ourselves • Also not God Himself, does not save us, not to be worshiped

Work

• Use and cultivation of our talents • Fruit of hard work and creativity; a job well done (Proverbs 14:23)

Pleasure

• Pure pleasure in sex within marriage (Song of Songs) • Great tasting food (consider that OT feasts point towards Christ) • Music and the arts; laugher

Friendship and community

• A romantic date • Hospitality and service of others (Romans 16:23) • Milestones • Marriage • Respect, admiration, oneness, affirmation (1 Samuel 18:1-‐4)

Security

• Good authority and rule (Proverbs 29:2) • Shelter, peace, and physical security

Family

• Obedient children (Proverbs 23:24; Proverbs 29:17) • Successful children

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How Can We Enjoy God’s Creation and Non-‐Salvific Gifts? 1. Enjoy with thanksgiving rather than entitlement

• Everything God has made is good (Genesis 1:31; Acts 10:15; 1 Timothy 4:4-‐5)

• Recognize what we truly deserve, yet what we have in Christ (Hebrews 9:27-‐28) 2. Enjoy with a sober and alert mind

• Recognize limits (Ecclesiastes 2:10)

• Possessions, experiences, or acceptance from others are not the apex of our existence (Luke 12:15)

• Possessions, money, and status are meaningless when we die (1 Timothy 6:6-‐7) 3. Enjoy with a purpose

• Recognize the purpose of creation and non-‐salvific gifts (Romans 1:20) o How does what I’m enjoying point towards God’s character, purposes, and

promises?

o What does God communicate to me through this?

o What does what I’m enjoying show me specifically about myself?

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o Be in control over how much you think about and participate in something

• Use creation and non-‐salvific gifts to rest, build community, and advance the Gospel (Genesis 1:28)

4. Enjoy without demand • Have a take it or leave it attitude (Matthew 5:5; Philippians 4:10-‐13)

• Keep obeying and trusting if you do not get something (Matthew 26:39)

• Treat others well even when you do not get something (1 Peter 3:7) Take Stock Take a moment and assess how you’re doing in fighting for joy by drawing from the two foundations covered here in pages 11-‐23.

• Circle 2-‐3 of any of the bullet points or main points from pages 11-‐23 where you think you’re seeing fruit and doing well

• Put a star next to 2-‐3 of any of the bullet points or main points where you need to work on

• Keep these in mind when we get towards the end of Weapon Three: Apply the Right Foundations Specifically

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Figure One: Sources of Biblical Joy

Biblical joy keeps God’s character, His word, and His purposes as the foundation. Those are all drawn from liberally, remembered frequently, and held to tightly. Creation and non-‐salvific gifts are enjoyed with thanksgiving instead of demand, held loosely. A biblical joy shapes and molds God’s creation and non-‐salvific gifts and uses it for godly purposes.

Creacon and non-‐salvific gies -‐

enjoy, give thanks, shape it, but hold loosely

God's character, word, and purposes -‐

draw from liberally, remember, hold lghtly

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Figure Two: Sources of Worldly Joy

Worldly joy promotes your own wants and purposes as a foundation – drawn from liberally, remembered constantly, and held very tightly. Creation and non-‐salvific gifts are worshiped rather than stewarded. They shape you more than God’s word and when you don’t get it, you demand it.

Creacon and non-‐salvific gies -‐

worship, shapes you, demanded

My wants and purposes -‐

draw from liberally, remember, hold lghtly

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Weapon Two: Engage Your Entire Being

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Figure Three: Engage Your Entire Being in the Fight for Joy

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What Do We Engage In Our Fight for Joy? Romans 6:13

• What we want – our hearts and what we value and think we need • What we think about – our minds and what we believe • What we talk about – our mouths and what they say to ourselves and others • The choices we make – our eyes and feet and where they take us

Redefine What You Think You Need Ephesians 4:22-‐24 The what

1. Jesus Christ redefines what you think will make you happy (Matthew 5:3-‐12)

2. Our life is about serving God and others, not God and others serving us.

3. Our hearts can deceive us (Jeremiah 17:9).

4. What you place before yourself will impact what you want.

5. Good feelings are not our goal (John 16:33).

6. Sadness is actually more appropriate than joy at times (1 Samuel 15:35 – 16:1; Ecclesiastes 3:4).

Application

• Reach out to those on the fringes of the church, not just those in the center (Luke 14:1-‐14)

• Choose faithfulness even if its costs you money, time, status, and joy • Pick a beatitude to understand well and apply (Matthew 5:3-‐12) • Find a Gospel centered church and make life decisions (work, school) accordingly, not

the other way around • Engage in activities like evangelism and hospitality that remind you how little you are in

control and your time is not your own • Go through the Worksheet: What Shapes You

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Engage Your Mind 2 Corinthians 10:5 The what

1. We are to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ

2. What we think, assume, expect, and perceive influences how we feel Application

• Remind yourself regularly of God’s character, His word, and His purposes. • Examine your assumptions, expectations, and perspectives (See Worksheet A: Must

Have/Nice to Have) • Examine what influences your thinking (See Worksheet B: What Shapes You) • Live in a reality authored by God and not your own made up world • Dwell less on your hardships and more on God’s purposes • Do give thought to how to repent, but remember you are forgiven • What are you worried about? (See Worksheet C: Anxiety and Worry)

Use Your Speech Ephesians 5:19 The what 1. What we say reveals what rules us (Luke 6:45)

2. What and how we talk with others impacts our unity and joy (Ephesians 4:29) 3. When we speak of how we feel, we are speaking truth and we are to be people of truth

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Application • Express your pains, hopes, and hurts honestly (Psalm 61, 63, 64; Matthew 27:46) • Preach truth to yourself (Genesis 39:7-‐10) • Watch the content and manner of your speech (Ephesians 4:29-‐32) • Be thankful for anything and everything • Tell others the Gospel

o When we speak of how we feel, we are speaking truth and we are to be people of truth

Make the Right Choices Matthew 6:33

• Make choices in light of your relationship with Christ • Steward your finances, talents, sexual passions, and interests accordingly • Repent regularly and thoroughly • Don’t be a sitting duck – fellowship with other Christians (2 John 12) • Don’t be a sitting duck – join a Gospel centered church • Be sober minded and alert of how God has made you (Romans 12:3) • Tell yourself “no” more often rather than “yes” (Romans 6:15-‐23; Titus 2:12)

Take Stock God has given us desires, the ability to think, speak, and do. Take a moment and assess how you’re doing in fighting for joy by engaging your entire being.

• Circle 2-‐3 of any of the bullet points or main points above where you think you’re seeing fruit and doing well

• Put a star next to 2-‐3 of any of the bullet points or main points above where you need to work on

• Keep these in mind when we get towards the end of Weapon Three: Apply the Right Foundations Specifically

Go back to page 12, Delight in God Himself. Which of the application ideas is about redefining your desires? Or about engaging your mind? Ask yourself the same questions for some of the other eight points on drawing from the right foundation, pages 12-‐19.

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Weapon Three: Apply the Right

Weapons Specifically

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For the previous weapons, much of the content applied to broad audiences. Now it’s time to take all that and drive it down to you, specifically. Your responses and applications within this section will likely look different than others. Find trusted and gracious friends who can help you through this section and apply it. Why Fight Specifically? Doing the work of applying God’s word to yourself in your fight for joy is hard, hard, hard. Here are a few reasons why you should. 1. For thorough and deep understanding of what drives your lack of joy. 2. For sustained, long-‐term change and joy. 3. To deepen relationship with the Lord and others. Use Your Natural Inclinations 1. Being naturally more joyful, sad, or neither isn’t the point…

2. What does matter: See the role and importance of all those

Use your natural inclinations to serve others

Sanctify your weak area – be joyful when you should be; mourn when you should; be indifferent when you should

3. Be aware of your natural inclinations and how it can make it harder to be genuinely,

biblically joyful.

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Know Your Traps Let’s get even more specific and take it down to particular days, events, challenges, or moments. 1. What people, times of the day, or circumstances make it harder to trust, fight, be joyful2, and make wise choices?

Not excuses……

Just trying to be aware and alert to prepare. Assess What Shapes You Let’s go a step further beyond circumstances and examine the deeper influences of your obedience and joy. This will be hard but doing so can lead to longer-‐term change and genuine heart change. 1. What are your go-‐to actions, thoughts, and wants when life gets hard? 2. What are you hoping to achieve through those go-‐actions, thoughts, and wants? 3. What biblical or non-‐biblical influences drive those desires? 4. What truths or lies about God are at the core of those desires? For a much more thorough self-‐examination, see Worksheet B: What Shapes You?

2 Or perhaps be too joyful in the wrong things!

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Take Control Over What Shapes You with the Weapons In your fight for joy, it is possible to be reshaped by God rather than something else. Take a look back at what you wrote for Questions 1-‐4 under “What Shapes You” above, or for the braver souls, Worksheet B: What Shapes You.

1. For the un-‐biblical responses, or the “neutral” ones that nevertheless make it harder to be joyful in Christ, write a brief summary of each in the table below. This may seem tedious, but doing so can help you further understand, remember, and begin to repent and turn from any un-‐wise, worldly, or sinful influences and wants that take you further from your relationship with the Lord and therefore your joy.

And how can you turn from them?

2. Next write a “counter” to your sinful or unwise thoughts, wants, and actions. A counter is any truth about God’s character, His word, and His purposes – the first weapon! You know, the one about drawing from the right foundations, particularly “The What” parts found throughout Weapon One. You’re now countering any lies or un-‐biblical wants with truth.

What’s next?

3. If preaching truth to yourself and reminding yourself of God’s character, His word, and His purposes is enough to lead you towards joy, then you can stop! But for some areas, it may be harder and you have to actually do (or not do) something different to taste and see that the Lord is good and to take hold of truth.

So for next steps, you choose applications that have been highlighted throughout the three weapons, or something you or a friend prayerfully and creatively comes up with. Write those next to the Counter column in the Application/Action of Counter section.

See the progression? You have a faulty or sinful way of thinking or some un-‐biblical or un-‐wise desire that saps your joy, identified through Weapon Three. You counter that with truth from God’s character, His word, and His purposes (Weapon One). And the natural response that flows out of that truth and relationship with Him, are applications and actions which require you to engage your entire being (Weapon Two) in a specific way, tailored to you (Weapon Three). Sinful/un-‐wise wants and lies à Counter with truth about God à Implication/action

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1. Do something that actually addresses and counters the your responses to Questions 1-‐4 under “What Shapes You.”

2. Go gradual. It would be great to change 4-‐5 things about you overnight, but it takes time.

Think of a few low hanging fruits and 1-‐2 ideas that you know will stretch you.

Summary of Responses from “What Shapes You”

Counter Application/Action of Counter

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Five Points on Application 1. Always root your application, your fight, your “how” in your relationship with the Lord

2. Do as the Psalmists do

• Ask God for help • Acknowledge God’s character and His greatness • Give thanks and praise to God for who He is and what He has done

3. Draw from commands and exhortations

4. Go to specific parts of Scripture that do the heavy lifting (Romans 12-‐16; Ephesians 4-‐6)

5. Know yourself and what kind of application would stretch you most Cautions in Application Getting the right doctrine is hard enough, but at least there are some pretty well known “right answers.” There may be one meaning of a text, but many applications. Here are a few ways to be careful as you and your friends consider how to fight for joy specifically, customized to your natural inclinations, influences, and context. 1. Having a rigid way of application. 2. Forgetting the purpose of right doctrine. 3. Being self-‐righteous. 4. Confusing the feeling of joy with faithfulness.

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It Is Well (With My Soul)

Verse 1 When peace, like a river, attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, thou has taught me to say, "It is well, it is well with my soul."

Verse 2 Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,

let this blest assurance control: That Christ has regarded my helpless estate, and hath shed his own blood for my soul.

Chorus It is well (it is well) with my soul (with my soul);

It is well, it is well with my soul.

Verse 3 My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought! My sin, not in part, but the whole, Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more; praise the Lord, praise the Lord,

O my soul!

Verse 4 And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,

the clouds be rolled back as a scroll; The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend; even so,

it is well with my soul.

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Using Our Weapons to Defeat Specific Kill Joys

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Ingratitude and Criticism Common experiences

• Hard to satisfy • Bored • “There’s got to be more” • Bitterness • Nothing is ever good enough

• Looking for the next hit, the next big thing

• Bias towards finding fault • Focused on the here and now

Impact on life

• Grass is greener on the other side mentality • Lash out at friends and family when they don’t meet our needs • Stalled relationships • Stalled joy

Potential drivers

• Lack of humility and appreciation and respect for someone • Lack of appreciation for God’s provision and non-‐salvific gifts • Easily forgets God’s blessings • Other people need to serve me • I know what’s best; I’m on the throne; I decide what’s good or not • Life is supposed to be easy and comfortable to my liking; it’s about my agenda

Why ingratitude kills joy

Gospel centered Joy Ingratitude and Criticism Remembers God’s blessings Forgets God’s blessings Life is about God and serving others Life is about what pleases me Joy even in the small things Nothing pleases Perseveres in relationships, work, church When can I move on? Stewards possessions and relationships Immediately finds fault Willingness to admit fault or error Rarely admits fault

Objectives – fill out as groups share their case study responses

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Case Study: Ingratitude and Criticism Frank, a 31 year old who lives with three other men from his church, has been in a community group that you lead for about three years. He’s asked to meet with you to talk about some concerns he has about the church as well as how much he dislikes his job. “The elders of this church never seem to have enough time for me. When I grew up, my parents and I went to our pastor’s house to play games and fellowship a few times a month. I don’t think I’m asking for much.” Frank goes on to say he thinks that the church should do more to help the poor and that when he tried to get people to go help out at a local shelter, no one responded, proving that there must be something wrong with this congregation. He likes the preaching but thinks the sermons aren’t long enough, since his college church had a pastor who regularly preached for an hour. As a result of all this, Frank, while faithful in coming on Sundays, typically doesn’t like to stay too long to engage in conversation. He recognizes this isn’t good and wonders what he should do. Given his frustration with church, Franks’ own devotional times have been lacking. You remember from previous conversations that Frank, while having been promoted several times, isn’t too happy about his work as a mediation lawyer. “You try being in a profession where all day you’re dealing with two warring parties blaming each other and going at each other’s throats.” In some ways, you sympathize with him. He goes on. “My boss is great, but my co-‐workers are always angling to get ahead and to still my thunder. I don’t see why they can’t be more supportive. I’ve done my fair share to help them and give them pointers. I’ll be honest, we’ve gotten into some heated arguments about people stepping on each other’s toes.” When you gently point out that it seems like he is complaining a lot, Frank acknowledges it, but doesn’t think there’s much he can do. He says his father and mother both raised him to just be honest with his thoughts, because honesty is the best policy and it doesn’t do anyone any good to keep what you feel inside.

1. What assumptions and expectations does Frank have about his church, his work, and his life? How does that shape his response to church, work, and life?

2. Using the three weapons as a guide and with the information above in mind, how would you steer Frank towards fighting for joy?

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Depression Common experiences

• Difficulty getting out of bed • You want to die, but aren’t dead • The sadness doesn’t stop • Nothing matters • Inexplicable and torturous bouts of

tears and crying

• Emptiness • Doom is on its way • Loneliness, even with many people

around • Everything is hopeless (or most things) • Not knowing why you even feel bad

Impact on life

• Poor sleep • Loss of appetite • Hard to tell difference between good

and bad news • Difficulty making decisions

• Numbness to work, relationships, life, intimacy

• Inability to derive meaning from life

Potential drivers

• Organic and inorganic drivers • What you value and how you interpret trials and circumstances • Assumptions, expectations for life, and perspectives • How others have treated you • What others have said to you

Why depression kills joy

Gospel centered Joy Depression Meaning and hope in trials Trials have no meaning or reason,

no hope Able to discern right from wrong and choose wisely

Hard to have discernment

Enjoy relationship with God and others

Hard to work on relationships or even want them

Knows trials have an end date Seems like the sadness will not stop; change is not possible

Driven by love for God’s word and for others

Nothing really matters; hard to have passion

Objectives -‐ fill out as groups share their case study responses

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Case Study: Depression

Sally is a 32 year-‐old woman who works as a physician assistant. Growing up, her father and mother were both very kind and gracious to each other and were faithful in teaching their daughter the Bible. She met her husband, Phil at church and they married five years ago. They do not have any children, though their friends tease and occasionally pressure them about starting a family. For the last several years, Sally has had on and off bouts with depression. “Sometimes it’s after an argument with Phil, other times I’ll be driving along the road and it comes out of nowhere.” Sally knows she should read the Bible and does about once every two weeks. “But it just seems like I’m in a cloud. I read it, I might even understand what it says, but it doesn’t do anything to me.” Phil and Sally have tried to pour into their church to develop good relationships. Sally’s interest has been unpredictable – some weeks she cannot wait to go, and still others she dreads the idea of being with people. Phil typically understands, and when they do not go to community group, he tries to read the Bible with her at home. About three months ago, the hospital where Sally works went through a merger with another one, meaning Sally would have to adjust to different co-‐workers and work styles. Her father also began experiencing some health problems. And Phil was offered a higher paying job in California. The increase in salary would help if they wanted to start to have kids, and Phil and Sally had always talked about moving out west for a new adventure. Phil ended up declining, because he couldn’t get a read on what Sally’s opinion was of the move. He wanted it badly, but she seemed relatively numb to it all. “I don’t get it. We’ve talked about California for years, and now you just seem like you’re not in it. It’s like you couldn’t care less. What am I supposed to do?” Phil has grown frustrated with her. The more he gets frustrated, the more depressed Sally gets, thinking she’s ruined what should be a good marriage. So they feel they are caught in a cycle and that cycle has dampened intimacy with each other. Last week, Sally caught him watching pornography on several occasions. In response, he told her he felt like they were growing apart. They’ve now come to you for help. 1. What assumptions do Phil and Sally make? How do those impact their relationship and their joy?

2. Where would you begin to help her and Phil?

3. Using the three weapons as a guide and with the information above in mind, how would you steer

Sally and Phil towards fighting for joy?

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Anxiety and Worry3 Common experiences

• Extreme, time draining concern about something other than God’s kingdom • The worse case scenario can and will happen • Intense dwelling and focus on your role or someone else rather than God’s role • Memories are sad, horrible, draining, and to be avoided • The future is sad, horrible, draining, and to be avoided • Because I thought it, I did it; because someone said it, it’s true • Since something happened in the past, it could and probably will happen again • Seemingly harmless triggers (music, smell, sight, food) set off deep fears • Constant doubt -‐ has God really forgiven me? Can what I did really be overlooked? • Worry and fear become a system to actually feel comfortable

Impact on life

• Double, triple checking if you did something • Checking in with people • Escape and retreat • Aim for control -‐ restricting what kids can do; restricting what you do • Stunted growth in fighting sin • Hard to sleep, loose appetite, heart racing • Strained relationships, hard to engage in community

Potential drivers

• Concern about security and future, or thinking only about the here and now • I or someone or some event defines reality, not God • I or someone or some event defines me, not God • My actions (or no actions) can lead to more certainty; I can ensure a good outcome • I can’t do anything about my thoughts or what leads me to worry, so why bother? • Placing too much power in circumstances, events, people, outcomes • God’s grace is not greater than my sin, or my circumstances, or other people

Why anxiety and worry kill joy

Gospel centered Joy Anxiety and Worry Obeys God Obeys whatever you fear Shaped by God’s character, word, promises Shaped by what you, others, or a circumstance

can achieve Confidence in your forgiveness Unsure or certain you can’t be forgiven Rejoices in eternity to come Dreads the future Stewards God’s non-‐salvific gifts Time spent worried about what you can’t control

Objectives -‐– fill out as groups share their case study responses 3 During the live recording, it is mentioned several times worry can be good. The more accurate thought would be that having concern can be good, rather than worry, as Christ exhorts us to not worry (Matthew 6:34).

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Case Study – Anxiety and Worry You’ve been married to Thomas for 40 years. Thomas works as a high school math teacher. Earlier in your marriage, he worried about whether you two would have any kids. You encouraged him to trust in the Lord and prayed with him regularly. After a few failed attempts, you two had three children (two sons and a daughter), starting in year 10 of your marriage. When your children were young, Thomas worried about whether they would be picked on at school since he was bullied. When they were in high school, he worried whether the sons would get their girlfriends pregnant and about the safety of your daughter. While none of his fears came to pass, Thomas did fear that he wouldn’t be able to help pay for the kid’s college education and that if he couldn’t the children would see him as a failure. He was able to pay a good amount for the first two, but when it came to the youngest, your daughter, he couldn’t contribute much. That fractured their relationship, as she felt she didn’t get a fair deal and had to take out loans and work through school. She called him a failure multiple times. Thomas saw that his fears were realized and you blamed him for poor financial planning. Fortunately, in the past year, Thomas and your daughter have begun speaking again. However, he constantly fears that he will mess things up again. As a result he constantly checks in with your daughter to be sure things are all right, which ironically makes her more annoyed. “I’m a failure, dear. Our own daughter has said so,” he says. Up until the fallout with your daughter from several years ago, Thomas was pretty faithful in attending church and fellowshipping with others. More recently, he has been worried that due to his age, he will be laid off, despite earning rave reviews at work. To deal with his anxiety, Thomas occasionally prays, but more often than not he’s become withdrawn from you for the last six months. Watching tv and surfing the internet have become his ways of drowning out his worries. While Thomas had his faults and dealing with his anxieties over the years has been hard, he has always been fairly emotionally connected with you, so you’re concerned at this turn in him. 1. Thomas clearly has several issues going on. As his wife, which ones would you personally want to

focus on first? Why?

2. What are Thomas’ assumptions? What impact do they have on his joy and relationships? 3. Using the three weapons as a guide and with the information above in mind, how would you help

Thomas address his anxiety and worry in a God honoring manner?

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Addictions and Escape

Common experiences • Desire to be numb to, escape from, or manage the hardship in life • Typically starts small, innocently, without intent to become an addict • May not even be anything sinful • Initially, feels very good – feel more alive, in control, away from the hardship • Then, just numbness and you increase dose and frequency • Eventually, the substance consumes you -‐ you go to it to celebrate, to mourn, to get away • You may want to change or say no, but think you can’t • You may be blind to the severity of the addiction • Willing to harm relationships to get your fix

Impact on life

• You lie or blame others who get in the way • You try to deceive or try to hide evidences • Relationships suffer; you get more aloof and distant • Hard to enjoy emotional or sexual intimacy • Serving others is the last thing on your mind • Health could be impacted depending on the addiction

Potential drivers

• I’ve got this under control; just one more won’t hurt; after one more, then I’ll stop • This substance, person, experience, or activity will provide the solution to hardship • It’s my body; I get to do with it whatever I want • Pleasure is king; escape is king; I am king • People, substances, experiences were made for me to enjoy and for me to shape and have

dominion over Why addictions, pleasure seeking, and escape kill joy

Gospel centered Joy Addiction, Escape, Pleasure Seeking Serve others How can others give me what I want or get out

of the way? Uses creation and God’s non-‐salvific gifts for His purposes

Uses creation and God’s non-‐salvific gifts for your purposes; perverts and distorts

Obeying God as ultimate purpose, even if you suffer

Escape, numbness, pleasure as ultimate purpose; escape suffering

Can take or leave things Demands things Engages in and grows in community and intimacy with others

Aims to avoid transparency and closeness

Objectives -‐ fill out as groups share their case study responses

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Case Study: Addictions and Escape Two years ago, you discovered your 15 year-‐old daughter Mary had been regularly drinking and smoking with her friends. She promised she wouldn’t do it again, but a few days later, you smelled alcohol on her. “How could you do this to me!,” you tell her. You thought you raised her to be a God fearing young woman. You wonder if you should call up the youth pastor, the pastor, or someone, anyone, to get help. But you and your daughter both agree: this isn’t that big a deal, you guys can handle it internally, no need to get outside people involved. You establish a curfew with your daughter, have her text you wherever she is, and tell her that you love her and do not want her to become an alcoholic. And you’re surprised. Mary actually complies and for the year, she actually stops drinking and smoking. And then last week, you get a call from the police. Mary had been caught stealing from a local drug store. At first, you were concerned. Was it beer? Was it cigarettes? Something worse, like prescription pain-‐killers? The good news: neither of those. The bad news: a seemingly silly carton of ice cream (your favorite dessert). At first you’re relived. Mary did not slide back into drinking and smoking. But you ask her, why the ice cream? Mary confides that ice cream actually for her has been something she’s eaten a lot of since she stopped drinking and smoking. “I knew the beer and the cigarettes were wrong, but the ice cream seemed harmless. It’s how we celebrated when I was a little girl. And it’s just all over – at parties, at restaurants, at every corner store, and I knew you wouldn’t get mad at me for it. Eventually, I kept going to it, for anything and everything that bothered me. I had to have it. And today, at the store, I forgot my wallet, but I just had to have the ice cream.” 1. As her parent, how would you approach Mary’s addiction to ice cream differently than her addiction

to drinking and smoking?

2. What has shaped Mary’s actions and desires?

3. Using the three weapons as a guide and with the information above in mind, how would you steer Mary towards fighting for joy?

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Worksheet A: Must Have/Nice to Have

Our expectations for relationships, church, work, and pretty much anything else can go a long way in impacting our faithfulness to God. This tool is designed to help assess where you may be mixing up what you must have versus what would be nice to have.

Take a moment to honestly assess yourself. What do you think you must have in your life? Your job? Your church? Your relationships? That is, these are non-‐negotiables, core aspects, what you can’t do without. Don’t give the “Sunday school” answer here but rather what you really think, want, and live out. There may be plenty of “Sunday school” answers and if so, that’s great!

Must Have

Nice to Have

Anytime something that legitimately should be a nice to have becomes a must have and we become upset or sad, thinking we’re cheated out of something, we know we are worshiping something. Conversely, when something that should be a must have is placed in nice to have, our relationships and walk with God suffer. Either way, it’s important to calibrate our must have and nice to have boxes to be more aligned with God’s purposes and character.

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Worksheet B: What Shapes You? We worship what we place in front of us. And what we worship will impact our obedience to the Lord and our joy. So we need to be proactive in taking stock of what influences us. Throughout the day and week, we have ample opportunities to allow something of this world or God’s character, His word, and His purposes to influence and shape us. What influences and shapes us often will show itself in how we respond to life’s difficulties. We may say we believe a particular doctrine, but our actions may prove otherwise. For those instances, understanding those influencers is crucial. What influences and shapes us can be anything, from what we watch to what we value to our culture, gender, particular people, and our upbringing. The following worksheet aims to help you understand what influences you. It assesses both daily habits and foundational influences. The right answers are the honest answers. Whatever it is that you typically do, think or want, write them down. Don’t worry about whether they are “right” yet. Some of this will be easy and others will take more time and be more difficult, but if you want to really understand why you do what you do, you need to know what shapes you and where your allegiances lie. The aim here is not to create a to-‐do list, but rather help you consider whether your relationship with God or something else most deeply influences you.

Regular Habits Our regular habits can reveal the state of our relationship with God. Whether it is in the normal patterns of our day or the hard parts, what we do with our time has a big impact on whether we remember, obey, and trust God’s Word and His purposes. 1. When I first get up, I typically

• think about….

• read…

2. During the stress of a big project or problem, I... Follow-‐up question: What are you hoping to accomplish with your go-‐to de-‐stressor?

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For questions 3-‐6, consider the following questions for each

What values and priorities do my regular habits promote?

In what ways are those values consistent with Scripture?

In what ways are those values not consistent with Scripture?

How do my regular habits influence my interest in…

• Obeying God • Reading the Bible or talking about it with others • Going to church • Loving others

3. The type of youtube clips/movies/tv shows I watch most often include… 4. Whenever I have leisure time, I typically…

5. The last hour and a half before I got to bed, I usually… 6. What are two to three things your friends would say you talk about the most?

Foundational Influences 1. What are your goals for the next 3-‐5 years? 2. There could be many things you write down as your goals. Why those particular goals?

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3. We have a lot of foundations that influence and shape us, such as culture, gender, upbringing and more. Consider how the following foundations specifically shape you.

What values and priorities do the following foundations promote?

In what ways are those values consistent with Scripture?

In what ways are those values not consistent with Scripture?

How do those foundations influence my interest in…

• Obeying God • Reading the Bible or talking about it with others • Going to church • Loving others

Foundations Your country/culture

Upbringing and region where you grew up Your gender Your race Your age/generation Your vocation All of the above factors can be good, God honoring things. They can also, if we’re not careful, influence us more than God’s word. They can seem so much more real and tangible.

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Let’s apply all this to some specifics. List 3-‐5 things that influence your thinking and actions for the following. These could be any of the factors from question 3 above, or anything else. 4. What a good marriage should be (or if single, what to look for in a spouse) 5. How I should be treated by others… 6. How a household should be (upkeep, interactions, conflict resolution, etc.) …

7. What to look for in a church…

8. Possessions and spending habits… 9. All it takes is one word, one look, one memory from X person(s) and I’ll…

(List 2-‐3 people for each of the following if you can)

• Do anything for them/listen to them

• Feel better about myself

• Feel worse about myself

• Be encouraged spiritually

Take Stock We’re all influenced by more than just Scripture, whether we want to or not. So now let’s summarize as to how your regular habits and foundational influences match up with Scripture. Take a glance back at your responses.

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1. In what areas are the wordlviews that your regular habits and foundational influences promote consistent with Scripture (or Scripture itself)?

2. In what areas are they contrary to Scripture?

3. In what ways are the worldviews that your regular habits and foundational influences promote not contrary to Scripture, but something that saps your joy in Christ or numbs you to needing to fight for joy?

If you’re not sure, jot down notes the next few times you think or engage in something or with someone. Are you left more refreshed spiritually, or less joyful and more desiring of the world?

4. If giving up, modifying, increasing, or reducing a particular influence is difficult, what is it about

that influence that makes it hard to submit under the Lordship of Christ? Perhaps identity? Pleasure? Money? Time? Pride?

• What about God’s character, His word, or His purposes would help?

• What might you need to fast from, perhaps temporary, to grow in your primary identity as a Christian, in relationship with God and for His purposes? Notice in your fast you don’t need what you think you need after all. But notice what impact that made on your relationship with the Lord, your joy, and your love for others.

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Worksheet C: Anxiety and Worry 1. Think back to your most recent fears. How many of them actually came true?

If your fears did not come true, how can you take that reality and shape how you respond next time you are worried about something?

2. If some of your fears did come true, was the experience as bad as you thought it would be?

If your experience was not as bad as you thought it would be, how does that shape how you respond to something in the future?

3. If your fears came true and it was as bad as you thought it would be, what might God be showing

you through this?

Is He still who He says He is? If so, how does that impact how you suffer?

How does the Gospel offer hope in this situation, the here and now? Look back at Weapon One: Draw from the Right Foundations.

4. What are some events, people you will meet, or life stressors that you need to be on the lookout

for in the next two weeks? In the next few months?

How can you prepare to fight for joy and counter your typical anxiety? Look back at any of the three weapons for ideas and the Anxiety and Worry section.

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Worksheet D: But I Have to Do It

Criticize someone. Lust and watch pornography. Overeat. Withdraw. Harshness. That evil glance. Some o those are sin that definitely need to be repent of, others are unwise. Whatever outward behavior or sin it is, we may give in to them because we think we have to do it. That is, the bodily or emotional desire to do it is so strong, how could it be denied? 1. Where are you getting the idea that you have to do something?

2. If you do not do what you feel you have to do, what are you afraid will happen? How does that

match up with reality?

3. Read Romans 6:15-‐23 and Titus 2:11-‐14. How do these passages offer an alternative to your way

of thinking?

4. Take a fast for just two days from something you think you have to do. Feel free to extend it more,

or if it’s really bad, try it for a day or even a few hours. The longer the better, but start somewhere that’s realistic yet challenging. As you fast, be sure to draw on your relationship with the Lord to remember why you are doing this. It is not primarily about getting along better with someone else or feeling less guilty; it is to show you do not need to do whatever you think you must.

What impact did the fast have on your joy? Your relationship with others?

Whatever you wrote in Question 2, did it really happen?

What did you learn about what you need or do not need to do as a result of this fast?

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Resources Organizations Your own local church you go to if it’s Gospel centered in its preaching, governance, and relationships Heart Song Counseling: http://heartsongcounseling.org Biblical Counseling Coalition: http://biblicalcounselingcoalition.org Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation: http://www.ccef.org 9Marks: http://9marks.org -‐ helps you find a Gospel centered local church Mini-‐Books, Booklets http://www.ccef.org/resources/minibooks Books Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave, Edward T. Welch, 2001, P&R Publishing The Addictive Personality, Craig Nakken, 1996, Hazelden Anxious for Nothing: God’s Cure for the Cares of Your Soul, John MacArthur, 1993, Victor Crossroads: A Step-‐By-‐Step Guide Away from Addiction, Edward T. Welch, 2008, New Growth Press The Dangerous Duty of Delight, John Piper, 2001, Multnomah Depression: Looking Up from the Stubborn Darkness, Edward T. Welch, 2011, New Growth Press Good Mood Bad Mood: Help and Hope for Depression and Bipolar Disorder, Charles Hodges, 2013, Shepherd Press Happiness, Randy Alcorn, 2015, Tyndale Knowing God, JI Packer, 1973, Intervarsity Press Learning to Be Happy, (abridged version of The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment), Jeremiah Burroughs, 1988, Grace Publications

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Look and Live: Behold the Soul-‐Thrilling, Sin-‐Destroying Glory of Christ, Matt Papa, 2014, Bethany House Publishers The Mortification of Sin, John Owen, 2004, Banner of Truth Trust Putting Your Past in Its Place: Moving Forward in Freedom and Forgiveness, Steve Viars, 2011, Harvest House Publishers A Quest for More: Living for Something Bigger than You, Paul David Tripp, 2007, New Growth Press The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment, Jeremiah Burroughs, 1964, Banner of Truth Trust Relationships: A Mess Worth Making, Timothy S. Lane and Paul David Tripp, 2006, New Growth Press Spurgeon’s Sorrows: Realistic Hope for those who Suffer from Depression, Zack Eswine, 2014, Christian Focus Publications The Suffering Letters, Charles Spurgeon, 2007, The Wakeman Trust When I Am Afraid: A Step-‐By-‐Step Guide Away from Fear and Anxiety, Edward T. Welch, 2008, New Growth Press When I Don’t Desire God: How to Fight for Joy, John Piper, 2013, Crossway When People Are Big and God is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man, Edward T. Welch, 1997, P&R Publishing

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