Feedback for Shrek essays

Don’t limit yourself with your topic sentence.

Ex. “Shrek is a character who experiences injustice from the villagers.” This topic sentence limits your paragraph to only talking about the villagers.

Better= “Shrek is a character who experiences injustice.”

Present a point…develop the point with a quote or example…and then link the quote or example back to the point.

• Ex. Shrek is impacted by injustice when people think he is some awful creature based solely on his appearance. He is clearly upset with this as he says to Donkey, “They judge me before they even know me.” This demonstrates that Shrek not only recognizes the stereotyping he undergoes, but also proves that he is hurt by it.

Use transitions to move from paragraph to paragraph You should clearly demonstrate to the

reader that you are moving on to a discussion of a new character. “Another character who experiences

injustice is…” “Shrek also experiences injustice.” “While Fiona has these terrible acts thrust

upon her, she is not the only character in the movie impacted by injustice. Shrek is also…”

Use transitions to go from point to point WITHIN a paragraph• Ex. Shrek is impacted by injustice when

people think he is some awful creature based solely on his appearance. He is clearly upset with this as he says to Donkey, “They judge me before they even know me.” This demonstrates that Shrek not only recognizes the stereotyping he undergoes, but also proves that he is hurt by it. Another example of injustice that Shrek experiences is…