Federal Aviation Administration Plain Language Briefing: NHCFAE Bruce Corsino FAA Plain Language...
Transcript of Federal Aviation Administration Plain Language Briefing: NHCFAE Bruce Corsino FAA Plain Language...
Federal AviationAdministration
Plain Language
Briefing: NHCFAE
Bruce Corsino FAA Plain Language Program Manager
Federal AviationAdministration
2Principles of Plain Language
This is a short briefing.
It is NOT the
FAA Plain Language Course.
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3Principles of Plain Language
What Is Plain Language?
Helps Users:Find what they need;
Understand what they find
the FIRST time they read or hear it;
Use what they find to meet their needs;
Federal AviationAdministration
4Principles of Plain Language
What Is Plain Language?
Is NOT a solution to every problem
Don’t write for everyone --
Write only for your READER
Federal AviationAdministration
5Principles of Plain Language
Reader-Focused Writing
It’s not what you write---it’s what your reader UNDERSTANDS!
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6Principles of Plain Language
How long has some of the world been asking
for plain language??
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8Principles of Plain Language
“The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do…”
Thomas Jefferson
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9Principles of Plain Language
False Assumptions
More words are better
Bigger words are better
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11Principles of Plain Language
WWII Air Raid memo from U.S. Gov’t:
“Preparations shall be made as will completely
obscure all Federal and non Federal buildings
occupied by the Federal Government during an
air raid for any period of time from visibility by
reason of internal or external illumination. Such
obscuration may be obtained either by black-
out construction or by termination of the
illumination.”
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12Principles of Plain Language
President Roosevelt’s revision:
“During an air raid, put something over the windows in buildings where they have to keep the work going.
In buildings where they can let the work stop for a while, turn out the lights.”
Federal AviationAdministration
13Principles of Plain Language
Grade Level and Readability Checks
• Reader’s Digest = 65
• Time Magazine = 52
• Harvard Law Review = 30
Microsoft Word Document
Microsoft Word Document
Federal AviationAdministration
14Principles of Plain Language
Why use plain language?
• Saves Time, Staff and Money
• Improves Compliance
• Affects Customer Satisfaction
• Prevents Lawsuits
• Saves Lives
• Policy, Law and a Civil Right!
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Saves Customer and Staff Time
Old letter New letter
Calls per month (per counselor)
9.4 1.6
Calls per year (10 counselors)
1128 192
Department of Veterans Affairs form letter: Customer Calls after Plain Language revision (See: VA Regional Office, Jackson, MS, Jan 1999)
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16Principles of Plain Language
FAA Broadcast
“Automated Transit Benefits Application System”
vs.
“Your transit benefits will stop unless you…”
+50%
C:\Users\Bruce Corsino\Desktop\PLProjects
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17Principles of Plain Language
Plain Language Prevents Lawsuits
1. Dept. of Health and Human Services
2. Federal Aviation Administration(Airworthiness Directives)
3. Customs and Immigration Service
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18Principles of Plain Language
Where should an applicant submit his or her application to re-register, late initial register, or renew
temporary treatment benefits?
If you are re-registering and have previously filed with the Vermont Service Center, the Form I-821, Form I-765, fees, and all supporting documentation should be filed at the USCIS Chicago Lockbox at: U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services, P.O. Box 6943, Chicago, IL 60680-6943.
Or, for non-United States Postal Service (USPS) deliveries: U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services, Attn: TPS/VSC, 427 S. LaSalle--3rd Floor, Chicago, IL 60605.
If you are re-registering and have previously filed with either the California Service Center, Texas Service Center, or Nebraska Service Center or if you are filing a late initial registration, the Form I-821, Form I-765, fees, and all supporting documentation should be filed at the USCIS Chicago Lockbox at: U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services, Attn: TPS El Salvador, P.O. Box 87583, Chicago, IL 60680-0583.
Or, for non-United States Postal Service (USPS) deliveries: U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services, Attn: TPS El Salvador, 427 S. LaSalle--3rd Floor, Chicago, IL 60605.
Please note that this is not the location where you have submitted your forms during previous re-registration periods. Also, there are two different P.O. Boxes listed. Failure to use the appropriate P.O. Box may delay processing your TPS application. Aliens re-registering or late initial registering for TPS under the designation of El Salvador should not send their TPS forms and fees directly to a USCIS Service Center or district office. Failure to follow these instructions may delay processing of your TPS application.
Aliens re-registering for TPS under the designation of El Salvador during the re-registration period from January 7, 2005, to March 8, 2005, may file the Form I-821, I-765 and fees electronically by using E-filing at the USCIS Web site, http://www.uscis.gov. In order to properly re-register using E-filing, aliens must start the electronic filing with Form I-821, and the system will then link the alien to Form I-765 once Form I-821 is complete. Aliens re-registering for TPS after March 8, 2005, or aliens late initial registering may not file electronically, and must send their application materials to the USCIS Chicago Lockbox. Failure to follow these instructions may result in an incomplete filing and delay processing of your TPS application.
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19Principles of Plain Language
Where should I submit my application for TPS? Table 3 - Application Mailing Directions
If Then Mail to Or, for Non-United States Postal Service
(USPS) deliveries, Mail to
You are applying for re-registration or applying to renew your temporary treatment benefits
U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services Attn: TPS El Salvador P.O. Box 8635 Chicago, IL 60680-8635
U.S. Citizenship and Immigration ServicesAttn: TPS El Salvador 427 S. LaSalle--3rd Floor Chicago, IL 60605-1029
You are applying for TPS for the first time, as a late initial registrant, or you were granted TPS by an Immigration Judge or the Board of Immigration Appeals
U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services Attn: TPS El SalvadorP.O. Box 8670 Chicago, IL 60680-8670
U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services Attn: TPS El Salvador[EOIR/Additional Documents] or [Late Initial Registrant]427 S. LaSalle--3rd Floor, Chicago, IL 60605-1029
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Federal Requirements
1. train all agency employees
2. insure each covered document you issue or revise complies with the
Federal Plain Language Guidelines
3. create a plain language website
4. appoint a plain language official
5. report to Congress
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How do you learn Plain Language?
Plain Language Course
Plain Language Tool Kit
Practice and vigilence
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Plain Language Desktop Toolkit
Contains:• Word Tools
• Formatting Tools
• General Guidance & References
Adobe Acrobat Document
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Plain Language Format ToolsUSE:
Headings
Bullet Lists
Illustrations
Q & A formats
Blank Space
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Use Headings and Lists
Each map must be based on assumptions regarding numbers of aircraft, aircraft types and mix, nighttime operations, airport layout, runway use, flight tracks, operational data, and compatible land uses.
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Use Headings and Lists
Map Instructions
Your map must include:• number of aircraft
• aircraft types and mix
• nighttime operations
• airport layout
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Use Headings and Lists
Statement Headings:
Your map must include:
Topic Headings:
Map Instructions
Question Headings:
What must my map include?
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30Principles of Plain Language
Use Chunking for Long ListsHow to make an apple pie:
Dry Ingredients
--
--
Wet Ingredients
--
--
Cooking Instructions
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Why Chunking Matters
Adobe Acrobat 7.0 Document
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Use “Q & A” or “If-Then” Formats
We must receive your completed expense form on or before the 15th day of the second month following the month you are reporting if send your form by mail or fax, or the 25th day of the second month following the month you are reporting if you submit your form electronically.
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Use “Q & A” or “If-Then” Formats When do I send my completed form?
IF you send your form:
THEN we must get it by:
electronically the 25th day of the second month following the month you are reporting.
By mail or fax the 15th day of the second month following the month you are reporting.
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34Principles of Plain Language
Use Tables
Ferrier has 11 years of experience, has
bid $29 million, and estimates completing
the work in three years. Sokol has 5 years
of experience, bid $27 million, and
estimates completing the work in 30
months. Crane has 8 years experience,
bid $28 million, and estimates completing
the work in three years.
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35Principles of Plain Language
Use Tables
CONTRACTOR EXPERIENCE BID PRICE COMPLETION
Ferrier 11 years $29 million 36 months
Sokol 5 years $27 million 30 months
Crane 9 years $28 million 36 months
Contractor Comparisons
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Plain Language Word Tools
Everyday Words
Verbs
Pronouns
Contractions
Active Voice Sentences
“Must” vs. “Shall
Federal AviationAdministration
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Most Important
Word Tools
--Use Pronouns--Use Active Voice--Free Your Verbs
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Use Pronouns
• Identify who is acting
• Eliminate words/reduce time
• Makes your writing relevant/personal
The Agency =
The Reader =
The Writer =
We
You
I
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No Pronouns
This form must be completed by anyone
requiring a badge and submitted to the
security office. The badge applicant,
sponsor (manager), and ACE-700 must
complete it prior to issuance of any
badge. POC: Bldg Mgr x3127.
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41Principles of Plain Language
With Five Pronouns
If you need a badge, you must
fill out this form. Your manager
and ACE-700 must also fill it
out. Submit your form to the
security office. If you have
questions, call the building
manager on ext. 3127.
Federal AviationAdministration
43Principles of Plain Language
Free Your Verbs
Utilize =
Use
Promulgate =
Issue
Implement =
Start
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44Principles of Plain Language
Free Your Verbs
give a description of =
describe
provide assistance with =
assist / help
do the construction of =
construct / build
Federal AviationAdministration
46Principles of Plain Language
Passive Voice
is NOT
Past Tense!
Use past tense!
Don’t use passive voice!
Federal AviationAdministration
47Principles of Plain Language
What is Passive Voice?What is Passive Voice?
The person doing the action follows the verb.
A form of the verb “to be” is combined with the past participle of another verb.A form of the verb “to be” is combined with the past participle of another verb.
The fish was swallowed by The fish was swallowed by JohnJohn..
John swallowed the fishJohn swallowed the fish..
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48Principles of Plain Language
The Weakness of Passive Voice
“Financial compensation will be provided.”
-Do I get the money??
-Who gives it to me??
We will pay you.
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The Weakness of Passive Voice
“Safety Instructions Must Be Given.”
-Does it say who gives the instructions??
-Does it say who gets them??
“You must give safety instructions to your passengers…”
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50Principles of Plain Language
Use ACTIVE voice & Pronouns
Rebates are to be mailed to all taxpayers.
You will get a rebate.
A day-off will be granted by the agency.
We will give you a day-off.
Federal AviationAdministration
51Principles of Plain Language
Change Passive to Active Voice
A pieman was met by Simple Simon.
Simple Simon met a pieman.
The candlestick was jumped over by Jack.
Jack jumped over the candlestick.
Federal AviationAdministration
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Use Active Voice
“Mistakes were made.”
“I made mistakes.”
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53Principles of Plain Language
Change Active to Passive Voice
An old lady lived in a shoe.
A shoe was lived in by an old lady.
“Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers”
“A peck of pickled peppers was picked by Peter Piper.”
Federal AviationAdministration
54Principles of Plain Language
Why Passive Causes Pain
Microsoft Word Document
Microsoft Word Document
Federal AviationAdministration
58Principles of Plain Language
Use Everyday Words
interface =
be with—talk to
clearly necessitates=
needs
expeditious =
fast
Federal AviationAdministration
59Principles of Plain Language
Free Your Verbs
I made a choice to =
I chose
I’ll be facilitating the process =
I will facilitate / help
we’ll conduct an analysis of = we will analyze / study
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• shall deliver• is delivered• is delivering • may deliver
Which is passive?
--is delivered.
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61Principles of Plain Language
• will write• is writing• has written • was written
Which is passive?
--was written.
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62Principles of Plain Language
The boy was bitten by the dog.
What’s the Active Voice Version?
--The dog bit the boy.
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63Principles of Plain Language
Notification was made to the public by the FAA.
What’s the Active Voice Version?
--The FAA notified the public.
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64Principles of Plain Language
The small stuff does not need to be sweat.
What’s the Active Version?
--Don’t sweat the small stuff…
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65Principles of Plain Language
The attendees will be entertained by us.
What’s the Active Version?
--We will rock you.
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66Principles of Plain Language
Hollywood: Plain Language Tactics
The Schwarzenegger tool:“I’ll be back.”
The Clint Eastwood tool:“Make my day.”
The Nicholson-Cruise tool (A Few Good Men):“You can’t handle the truth!”
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True or False?
Is this Plain Language?
“—a sudden, unauthorized descent to an altitude below that of the runway.”
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68Principles of Plain Language
You be
the
Plain Language Expert
For: The FAA
Federal AviationAdministration
69Principles of Plain Language
“Elevators shall not be used in case of fire or electrical emergency.”
“Use designated exits”
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70Principles of Plain Language
“If there’s an emergency in this building, don’t use these elevators.
Use the exits.
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71Principles of Plain Language
You be
the
Plain Language Expert
For: The Bus/Metro System
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72Principles of Plain Language
Bus Sign:
“These seats must be vacated for seniors and disabled persons”
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73Principles of Plain Language
Bus Sign:
“You must give these seats to seniors and disabled persons”
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You be
the
Plain Language Expert
For: NASA
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75Principles of Plain Language
NASA: “O-Ring” Memos
“—O-ring temperature limits have been achieved.”
VS.
“—If you launch below 32°, the O-rings will fail!”
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78Principles of Plain Language
Aircraft Exit Row Instructions
Microsoft Word Document
FAA Webpages
FAA Advisory CircularAdobe Acrobat
Document
Adobe Acrobat Document
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U.S. Postal Service
Microsoft Word Document
Adobe Acrobat Document
Adobe Acrobat Document
Netflix
Adobe Acrobat Document
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80Principles of Plain Language
PLAIN LANGUAGE GIVES YOU:
• Saved time and money for customers and staff
• Better comprehension, safety and compliance
• Improved customer satisfaction
• Is a Civil Right! May be the Law!