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| DOINGS OF THE VAN LOONS—That Wasn’t Just the Kind of Loving Mr. Van-der-Wurst Was After By F. Leipziger JI'M wot C{DIM£; To

fc^ive. up *so EA5V.’ I'u. TAKE. UP SOME-

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\ PERHAPS I WILL EVQ’I \ REWAHPEO W/ITMJ

A Kiss! /

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Jses HOW HE loves vou

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DAY BY DAY WITH THE DEYS By Clare Victor D Wiggins

fNDW RA6Sv YOU stay risht BY TRAT T CRIB AND V/ATCR TRe BABY TiLL. we get Back! Donr you DARG.

j TO LEAVE TRaT-$ A GboD DOQSlE. / r~z ;■—r/—-

‘j! EXCUSE ME '

By Myer F111 —- .. --

^

jTHAT INTERNATIONAL KA&'AG* AG !'. ^

I’M THE PIANO TUNER

| I didn't send for. —/ A PIANO TUNEP.!

i'VE COMETOTUNE) YOUE PIANO IT r

WON'T COST YOU /

AjCENT^f-^^V^

(how kind of

) YOU COME IN! --

ARE YOU JUST \ TUNING PIANOS FOE PRACTICE? )

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(nope! i'll get T S PAYED FOR THIS \

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WHAT* YOU’LL GET ) ( THE

PAYE£>, £>Y WHOM?) (NEIGHBORS!) GOOD MORNINO ) f EXCUSE 1 I'M THE VOICE < '—7 Mp| J

-7CULTURIST !!

AND

THEr^

Evening Star Astrologer

COPYRIGHT 1913. "The stars Incline, but do not compel.'’

FRIDAY, MARCH 0. I0H.

Weak is the sway Of stars this day.

Astrologers find this rather an un-

important day in which the planetary Influences are not strong.

While Jupiter is mildly adverse Neptune is in a friendly aspect. It is a day In which commercial enter- prises should be conducted with care, even though shipping interests have rather a fair omen.

Under this rule athletes should conserve their strength and care should lie taken to guard against errors In Judging their power*.

It is a day when the wise should shun speculation. Kign no bonds, guarantees or securities of any sort.

While this configuration prevails diseases of the liver are common and for that reason diet is recommended to those who are subjects of the planet.

Neptune's kindly influence is held to be beneficial for psychic develop- ment and inspirational writing.

This planet in the ninth house points to religious and legal scandals. Troubles in connection with litiga- tion which involves big interests in the financial world are foretold.

There is a sign which Is interpreted as indicative of sensational events In which royalty is concerned. Visits of distinguished persons who will come to the United States next sum- mer are said to be unusually signifi- cant.

Places of amusement have the aug- ury of possible accident Danger from lire is foreseen in a largo city,

Mexico has an evil star still in tlie ascendant. The murder of a promi- nent American again Is prognosti- cated. This will precipitate diplo- matic action, the seers predict.

Increase of crime is prophesied. Suicides will be so numerous within the year that widespread discussion of causes and prevention will take place.

Mercury is In an aspect read as favorable for aviation. There will be an astonishing growth in Interest In the aeroboat, which will become a much-patronized vehicle within a short time, if the stars are read aright.

Persons whose birthdate it is are warned against speculation or in- vestments in which there is any risk.

Children born on this day probably will have careers that are devoid of spectacular features. Much will de- pend on the hour of birth. Girls should be guarded against unfortu- nate marriage,

PAYING TIIR PKNAGTV. "Whatever became of that friend of

yours who used to have money to burn?”

"U*'» sifting tbo ashes."

It’s an Absent-Minded World r*“‘n —

[officer THIS man V /WELL, DONt| /WELL YOLTsEiTl ORDERS *7.10 WORTH j SIT THERE \ S OFFICER, ORDIW- OF NOURISHMENT, TO- LOOKING UKE\(aR1£t 1 CARRY / OETHER WITH TWO \ A CHEAP LAUM)) LARGE SUMS BOTTLES OF ETHEREAlV WHAT HAVE YOufjOF MONEY ON \ FLUID, AND 4 CIGARS'lGOT TO SA^?//MY PERSON, WHEN THE WAITER /-^-BUT UPON ENT- PRESENTED HIM THE V J X ERING HERE X CHECK, HE COOLY SAtb,\ ' S' OVERLOOKED THE 1 FORGOT TO TELL FACT THAT I WAS THE

02“ A ««■ broke! f FOUR O'CLOCK THISJ

i V. MORNING.

\VK NKKU 'KM. I*y Jim 'lam*<*.

We might get along without airships, We might do away with balloons; Perhaps we could do without autos Hy golly, just think If our tunes Of raggyfled music and waltzes Were taken away—goodness knows, 'Twould make us all lazy—we suro

would go crazy; We can’t get along without those.

P. S.—Music is so popular Every- body’s doing it.

THE CHAUTAUQUA FEE

Apropos of the Mr. Bryan s popular- ity as a lecturer, they are telling in Washington a story that is, no doubt, quite false.

"I lost $250 last night.” So Mr. Bryan is said to have com-

plained to one of his secretaries the other morning.

"Lost $2501 Not speculating. I hope, chief?"

No," said the secietary. "Talking in my sleep.’*

I ADS CAN COME BACK tt'a funny how a craze will come,

Then turn around and go Roller skating hit this town

’Bout twenty years ago, And then tho habit up and died,

It calmly passed away; And after twenty years the skates

Came back on us, full sway.

P. S.—There is another kind of a "skate” wp know of; but that’s no fad—it’s a habit with a of people. Oh, j'ou Saturday

SH—TIIKV’BR ItEAE. ~

A well-known theatrical manager was watching his stage manager drill some “supers" who were to rep- resent an army.

“Not a bit like it!” he exclaimed. “Why don’t you try to look like real soldiers?”

The stage manager approached him.

“They aro rea) soldiers straight from the barracks!” he whispered.

Johnny Writes Today

n. y., fridy—i herd a storey about an awful mean man the uthor day.

sumthing ought to happen to a guy liko that

the storey is this, there Is H a doz- en fellers up in harlem gets together every 3 or 4 evenings for a game of cards and a little chat, in a room back back of a caffay

well, one night not long ago they was talking about their wives, and most of them had hard-luck tales

it appeared they dident none of them count for mutch around the house

there was just one feller that was different

he said, aw you guys make me sick

belcavo me, i don’t let no woman walk over me 1 am boss around my place, and what 1 say goes

and a lot more like that some of the fellers had seen his

wife, arid they thought it was kind of funny, but. nolioddy said a word

about 3 nights later this sanio duck showed up. and he was a site

ho loked like he had went 3 rounds to a decision with a grizzly bare

he gazed at the bunch for ininnlt, and then he said

if 1 knew which of you guys it was that called my wife up on the fone and told her what i Haid the uther night, his life, would not be worth a plugged nickel

i alnt had nuthing to cat sinse 1 am sleeping on the poarch, and look at my mug

then he give them another sorrow- ful look, and slipped silently Into the night agen johuy

THIS FUNNY AUK. Crawford—What's the matter with

that follow who is holding onto the lamp post and shuffling Ills feet?

Crabshaw—There was a time when I'd have said ho was drunk, but per- haps lie’s practising a new dance.— Judge.

WHY? Apropos of an inefficient manager's

resignation, George Gould said to a

New York railroad reporter: "It's every man's desiro to wabble-

round in a big lob rather than to fill a small one. and that's why so many resignations are by request."

JUST HUNGRY., "I've tried all kinds of health

goods, but none of them seem to cure my case.”

“What is it you are troubled with?”

“An appetite."

now str.yngb: Some people have an idea that the

world owes them a living, with a

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