Rocky Mountain Hostage Negotiators

3rd Quarter TrainingJuly 14, 2009

“Active Listening Skills – A New Approach” 

Extra Resources for You

http://www.CopsAlive.com/RMHN

Skills Assessment• How Much Do You Remember?• What Are Your Thoughts About Active Listening Skills?

• What Do You Want From RMHN?

Skills AssessmentAre you, or is your department, a member of RMHN? Yes__  No__  Don’t Know__ How many years have you been a commissioned police officer? ______ How many years have you been a negotiator? Have you ever attended an FBI Crisis Negotiations Course? Yes___ No__ 

If Yes, how many times? ___ How long ago? ___ Have you ever been taught the “Active Listening Skills”? Yes___ No__ Do you utilize the concept of “Active Listening Skills” in your negotiations? Yes__  No__ Does you team train and practice “Active Listening Skills”?   Yes___ No__

Skills AssessmentWould you identify the 7 “Active Listening Skills” and Give a brief description: 1. _____________________   =  _____________________________________________________ 2.  __________  __________  =  _____________________________________________________ 3.  __________/__________   =  _____________________________________________________ 4.  __________  __________  =  _____________________________________________________ 5.  __________  __________  =  _____________________________________________________ 6.  __  __________________  =  _____________________________________________________ 7.  ______  ______ ________ =  _____________________________________________________

Un-Scramble to Make a Word

P R M E E I O

The FBI 7 Active Listening Skills1. Paraphrasing

2. Minimal Encouragers3. Reflecting/Mirroring4. Effective Pauses5. Emotion Labeling6. “I Messages”

7. Open Ended Questions

Paraphrasing• Demonstrates Interest• A Summary in You Own Words• Creates Empathy• Builds Rapport Because You Have Heard & Understand

• Checks Perceptions

Paraphrasing

• “Are You Telling Me…?”• “Are You Saying…?”• “Do You Mean…?”

Minimal Encouragers

• Hummmm• Uh Huh• Oh!• Really?• You Don’t Say• Mmmm• Not Z z z z z z z 

Minimal Encouragers• Sounds that let them

know you are listening• Short Questions• Does not interfere

with the flow• Let’s them know you

are there• Encourages them to

keep talkingPhoto: Creative Commons “Listen” by Mika Hiironniemi on Flickr.com

Reflecting/Mirroring• Repeat Back the Last Word or Phrase

• Gives Feedback• Asks for More• Creates New Questions

Photo: Creative Commons “Mirror Egg Reflections” by LollyKnit on Flickr.com

Effective Pauses

Enough Said!

Effective Pauses

• Silence• Can be

Effective• Most People

Will Fill the Void with Talk

Photo: Creative Commons “Sandringham Crossing-Stop, Look, Listen” by ?Redvers on Flickr.com

Uses of Silence

• When you are about to say something important

• When you have just said something important

• When they are trying to psych you out

Photo: Creative Commons “Listen to me…” by Keela84 on Flickr.com

Emotion Labeling• Try This First!• Respond to Emotions Heard, not in Content• Demonstrates Interest• How They Seem or Sound to You• Be Aware of Missing Emotions• Listen for Conflicts between Heard & Expressed Feelings

Emotion Labeling

• You Sound…• You Seem…• I Hear…

“I” Messages

• Let’s them know how they are making you feel

• Non-Threatening• Doesn’t put

them on the Defensive

Photo: Creative Commons “Hand Mirror” By desi.italy on Flickr.com

“I” Messages

I Feel…(Emotion)When You… (Behavior)

Because… (Reason)

Photo: Creative Commons “Listening” By Lanuiop on Flickr.com

Uses for “I” Messages

• Intense emotions directed at you• They are making communication

impossible• They are trying to manipulate

you• To Refocus the Conversation• When you are being verbally

attacked

Open Ended Questions• Cannot be

Answered Yes or No

• Usually start with:– How– When– What– Where

Photo: Creative Commons “What?!?!” By Dizznbonn on Flickr.com

Use Open Ended Questions

• To Help Them Start Talking• To Elicit Examples of Specific

Behavior• To Gather Intelligence• To Focus on their Feelings

Open Ended Questions

• Can you tell me more about that?• What did you mean?• How did that make you feel?• What happened?• What do you think is going to happen next?• What are you planning to do?• Are you thinking about suicide?

How do You Train to Improve Skills?

• Role Playing?• Face/Face or Back/Back?• Single Skill Training?• Games?• Puzzles?• Quiz's?• What do You Suggest?