Excuses Begone!

How to change lifelong, self-defeating habits…forever!

Old habits die hard…

Or do they?"Never underestimate your power to change yourself; never overestimate

your power to change others."Author: H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Your two minds

“If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place.” -Lao Tzu

Some common excusesIt will be difficult

I’m not smart

enough

I’m not strong

enough

It has never happened

before

No-one will help me

It’s going to be risky

I can’t afford it

It’s not my nature

I don’t deserve it

There will be family

drama

It will take a long time?

I’m too busy

It’s my personal

family history

I don’t have the energy

It’s too big

The rules won’t let

me

I’m too old (or not old

enough)

I’m too scared

Dan Caro

The Paradigm shift

• "A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time."Mark Twain

Pick an excuse

This is for you and you alone. You don’t have to share your thoughts

with anyone.

A reminderIt will be difficult

I’m not smart

enough

I’m not strong

enough

It has never happened

before

No-one will help me

It’s going to be risky

I can’t afford it

It’s not my nature

I don’t deserve it

There will be family

drama

It will take a long time?

I’m too busy

It’s my personal

family history

I don’t have the energy

It’s too big

The rules won’t let

me

I’m too old (or not old

enough)

I’m too scared

1. Is it true?

Is it really true?

• Can you be 100% certain that your excuses is true?

• Could it be that the opposite is true? 100% sure?– So, if you believe the excuse, why not make the

choice to believe the opposite? At least you will feel things are possible?

Whoever believes in Allah - He will guide his heart. Allah has knowledge

of all things. (64/11)

Whoever puts his trust in Allah - He will be enough for him. (65/3)

2. Where did the excuses come from?

Diagnosis 101

• Describe how you feel when you have the excuses bug?

• When did the symptoms first appear?• Who were you with?• Did the people you were around have similar

symptoms? Were they contagious? • Were you exposed?

The key:

Assume total responsibility. I made the choices to adopt those thoughts.

God is all forgiving!

3. What’s the pay off?

i.e. why would your ego want you to stay that way?

Common payoffs

• Avoidance• Safety/Easy way out• Manipulating others to do things for you• Wanting to be right• Blaming others except yourself• Protection• Escaping the present moment

4. What would my life look like if I couldn’t use these excuses?

“An infinity of forests lies dormant within the dreams of one acorn.”

Visualising your life without excuses

• Take a few seconds:– What would life without excuses look like?– How would it feel?– Hanging onto that feeling, picture yourself day to

day – what kind of thoughts would you have?

• Do this before bed rather than going to bed on a negative thought as your subconscious keeps working at night.

5. Can I create a rational reason to change?

A reason that makes sense to you and you alone!

• Need to step it up a gear to cement the change.– Must make sense to you.– Must be realistic– Must allow you to feel good when thinking about

making the change.– Aligned with Allah and your higher purpose.

6. Can I access Allah’s help to shed these habits?

Accessing the spiritual dimension

• When we are dominated by excuses, we are dominated by our ego (or false self).

A set of principles

• Doesn’t Allah say in the Qur’an that if we take 1 step to him, he will come running to us?– Awareness– Alignment– Now– Contemplation– Willingness– Passion– Compassion

7. How do I continuously reinforce this new way of being?

Practice, practice, practice

• When you find yourself making excuses, have a dialogue with yourself by asking the seven questions.

• Tasbih or Affirmations.

Some affirmationsExcuse Affirmation

It will be difficult I have the ability to accomplish any task I set my mind to with ease and comfort.

It’s going to be risky Being myself involves no risks. It is my ultimate truth and I live it fearlessly.

It will take a long time I have infinite patience when it comes to fulfilling my destiny.

There will be family drama I would rather be loathed for who I am than loved for who I am not.

I don’t deserve it I am a divine creation, a piece of God. Therefore I cannot be undeserving.

It’s not my nature My essential nature is perfect and faultless. It is to this nature that I return.

Some affirmationsExcuse Affirmation

I can’t afford it I am connected to an unlimited source of abundance.

No one will help me The right circumstances and the right people are already here and will show up on time.

It has never happened before. I am willing to attract all that I desire beginning now.

I’m not strong enough. I have access to unlimited assistance. My strength comes from my connection to Allah.

I’m not smart enough I am a creation of the Divine mind; all is perfect and I am a genius in my own right.

I’m too old or not old enough I am an infinite being. The age of my body has no bearing on what I do or who I am.

Some affirmationsEscuse Affirmation

The rules won’t let me I live my life according to Divine rules

It’s too big I think only about what I can do now. By thinking small, I can accomplish great things.

I don’t have the energy I feel passionately about my life and this passion fills me with excitement and energy.

It is my personal family history I live in the present moment by being grateful for all of my experiences as a child/

I’m too busy As I unclutter my life, I free myself to answer the callings of my soul.

I’m too scared. I can accomplish anything I put my mind to because I know I am never alone

One final thing to ponder

What would have happened if Imam Hussein, Imam Sajjad or Bibi Zainab

made excuses?