Eve Rabi - You-Will-Pay for Leaving Me

7/22/2019 Eve Rabi - You-Will-Pay for Leaving Me

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YOU WILL PAY

She Left Her Abusive husband, He Took Revenge

By Eve Rabi

~~~

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2013 Eve Rabi. All rights reserved.

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$able o% Contents

%rologue&hapter ne&hapter Two

&hapter Three&hapter (our&hapter (ive&hapter Si)&hapter Seven&hapter Eight&hapter Nine&hapter Ten&hapter Eleven&hapter Twelve&hapter Thirteen&hapter (ourteen&hapter (ifteen&hapter Si)teen&hapter Seventeen&hapter Eighteen&hapter Nineteen&hapter Twent&hapter Twent"ne&hapter Twent"Two*here to find Eve +abi online

ooks b Eve +abi


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4/71

Chapter one

Sdne, /ustralia2342

The first time Tom hit me, # was eight months pregnant. Slapped me across the face. So hard, #

saw tin white stars even though # was indoors.# was twent"two, he was thirt"five.# was eight months pregnant and waddling like a duck, he was ninet"one kilos and took part in

triathlons, ran ten kilometers almost ever da, had wheat"grass and =uinoa for breakfast, a greensalad with no dressing for lunch, and lean meat and three veg for dinner.

Throughout m two ear of marriage #$d seen bursts of his rage towards me, towards othersand his road"rage, that was the worst > it terrified me. Especiall since he liked to take on trucks.7uge trucks.

eep down, # guess # did fear being hit b him one da, but # didn$t e)pect it thatda > the daof m second wedding anniversar.

# was so stunned b the slap that # didn$t move awa or tr to defend mself. # !ust stood andgaped at him, one hand on m cheek, one hand on m swollen bell.

6# take care of everthing how hard is that, huh89

To celebrate our wedding anniversar, Tom had invited eight couples to a four course, sit"down dinner at our house, located in the upscale suburbs of St #ves, in Sdne.

7e had hired caterers, wait"staff and a barman. 1ike all of Tom$s parties, it promised to beinteresting, e)cessive and show.

#t was true, all # had to do was chill the ?ristal, as he took care of everthing, withoutconsulting me once, or asking what # would like to serve our guests.

# didn$t mind though, as Tom was e)tremel capable, highl efficient and he had flair. # didn$t,

so if # did make a suggestion of !ust about anthing, he$d usuall scoff at it and shred it to bits,making me feel the hillbill that # was. So over time, # stopped suggesting or contributing and lefteverthing to Tom.

*ith pregnanc hormones, m brain sometimes became a pile of mush and # tended to forget alot of things. # would walk into a room and forget wh # was there.

#t annoed the hell out of Tom as he didn$t suffer fools gladl, and !ust about everthing # didwas foolish to him. #rritated him.

6See what ou do to me


5/71

have it out with him and call the cops if # needed to. # ma have been twent"two ears"old, but #wasn$t stupid enough to let him hit me.

# scrambled up from the bed and walked over to a mirror where # eed m face, red from hisslap.

# picked up some concealer and dotted it over the redness. idn$t work. 7is imprint on mcheek showed through the concealer.

# picked up some green concealer > that worked > m redness disappeared. That was the firsttime # learned that green concealer covers redness better than ellow or beige concealer.

ver the ears # used a lot of green concealer.1uckil, m hair was in a bob, deep mahogan and fell in a sharp point two centimeters below

m ears and covered most of m face. B/s instructed b Tom, who wanted me to wear m hairexactlythat wa.C

# decided that if for an reason, someone en=uired about the marks on m face, sa theconcealer faded or something, # would simpl sa that # had an allerg >a new facial that didn$t=uite agree with me. Bver the ears, m friends were surprised at how man facials didn$t agreewith me.C

Still dazed, # ad!usted m clothing, darkened m lipstick, put on the chunk gold necklace and

waddled downstairs. /s instructed.*hen # reached the last stair of the spiral staircase of our D4. million dollar home, # plastered

a smile on m disappointed lips and greeted our guests.(rom the corner of m ee, # noticed Tom eeing me, waiting to see if # would tell on him, or

indicate in an wa the discord in our supposedl perfect marriage.# ignored him and focused on our guests. # would deal with the bastard later./fter a while, he moved towards me and, as if nothing had happened, slipped his arm around

m waist. # casuall tried to shrug it off, but he held on, his fingers digging into m side./fter our last guest arrived, he rattled a knife on a crstal goblet. 61adies and gentleman, it is

now time for me to give m beautiful wife her anniversar gift.9*ith a fake smile plastered on m lips, # watched him in silence.7e led us all outside, where # gasped at the sight of a silver F* G3i EH@ in our drivewa

with a huge red bow on it. # knew that it cost more than a hundred and fift thousand dollars, as #had gone car shopping with him weeks ago.

/ll ees were on me, most of them filled with env.7e pinched m waist.6#t$s beautiful,9 # murmured =uickl, forced to sa something. #t trul was a lovel vehicle,

although the one # was driving, a Fercedes four"wheel drive, was !ust as beautiful. # looked at him.6ut, # didn$t get ou anthing, Tom.9 F voice felt strained and high"pitched.7e hugged me. 6-ou are m gift alone, /rena. -ou bring me so much !o, m love.96/aaawwww likesucking on raw steak. # felt awkward an uncomfortable and # wanted him to stop the roadwashow.

*hen # !erked slightl awa, his fingers gripped m hair and pulled hard, a silent warning >ou$d better pla along or else.

7aving no choice, # became a supporting act in his show and # felt like the phon # was.


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Then the doorbell went.6*ill ou get that, darling89 he said to m surprise.# did.#t was a florist delivering the biggest bou=uet of roses # had ever seen.6(or Frs /rena otha,9 the deliver man said, struggling to even carr the roses.# was not impressed with an of this.

Sure his gifts were lovel, but # would have preferred if he gave me the gifts that morningwhen it was !ust the two of us or sent me the roses during the da. #t was obvious that all this wasabout him > 61ook at me. 1ook how successful # am. See what # can give mywoman. on$t ouwish ou were married to me instead of our husband89

# didn$t leave Tom that night, instead # went into earl labour and had to have a caesariansection si) hours after our last guest left.

/ll thoughts of leaving went out the door and # continued living with Tom, starring in hisshows and buing copious amounts of green concealer.

ur son *arren, a beautiful blue"eed bo became m silver lining.ne word to describe Tom > suffocating. Ever time he was around, # felt like # had a pillow

over m face. # dreaded the hour when he would walk through that door and when he left the house,

# felt like the pillow had lifted from m face.


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Chapter $wo

The second time Tom hit me, *arren our bab was eight months old. Tom grabbed me b thehair and smashed the side of m head against a door. # la dazed on the floor while m babscreamed his head off. There were no tell"tale signs of the assault > no blood, no marks, !ust searing

pain.#t took me more than an hour to function normall and to see one of everthing.*e had been arguing about m famil. *hen # left South /frica, he had promised that # could

go home ever four months to visit m mother and siblings, or that he would send them planetickets to visit us in Sdne.

Now that the wanted to see m bab, m mother$s first grandchild, Tom wouldn$t let me goto South /frica and he refused to send m mother a plane ticket.

F mother could not afford to pa her wa to /ustralia and Tom knew that.6-ou want to go to South /frica, go


8/71

To keep the peace, # did everthing # possibl could to please Tom. ut his beatings, verbaland phsical, took its toll on me.

a b da, m spirit was slowl eroded, # became reall unsure of mself and # lived under acloak of shame.

Shame that # was the kind of woman who allowed a man to walk all over me and to beat me.Shame that # wasn$t strong enough to tell him to take a hike.

F confidence was almost non"e)istent and # felt worthless.7ow did # get to be like this, # kept asking mself8/s for se) > # hated se). #f # never had se) again in m whole life, # would be the happiest

woman alive.;ust about ever woman # know would hate it if their husband had an affair, a mistress.

Not me. # praed that he$d find someone, have a torrid se)ual affair so that he could leave methe fuck alone.

/ll # wanted was to be a mum to m bab and to not to live in a state of constant stress.There were so man other things # hated about Tom. # despised him and all that he stood for.

ut # had no mone to leave, no support in /ustralia and # had a bab to think about. # knew thatthe moment # left, he would cancel m credit cards. # had signed a prenup, so # knew # would get

little from him. F future seemed so uncertain and # lacked the energ to do something.-et, in spite of all the uncertaint, # knew one thing for certain> # didn$t want to be married to

Tom anmore.(rom Iod knows where, # eventuall plucked up the courage and =uietl made plans to leave

him.


9/71

Chapter $hree

# tried to save some of m housekeeping mone, but # guess # was too transparent > Tomsmelled a rat and probed me about it, watched me like a hawk, monitored ever cent # spent.*anted to see whatever # bought. 7e had no problem with me buing stuff using the credit cards, it

was !ust cash he didn$t want me to have access to.#n fact, he loved it when # went shopping with m friends and bought tons of e)pensive and

unnecessar stuff.*hen # returned home, he$d post"mortem m shopping e)pedition.6*ho$d ou go with896id she see what ou bought896*hat did she sa about it8 *as she impressed896id she bu one too89/s # said before, we had to have bigger, better, shinier, newer or he wouldn$t be happ.Env, Tom$s best friend, dwelled in his heart./nd he was a mean drunk. *henever he got drunk, which he did after !ust two ;ohnn *alker

blue label because he hardl ate, he would lecture me on how fortunate # was.6-ou are so luck to have a husband like me. /ll our friends, the wish the had married

me.96#f # were a woman, #$d be attracted to me cos # am a great catch. No reall, # am.97e was right, m superficial circle of friends thought he was something > man"e)traordinaire,

doting father Bcos he was wonderful to *arren in front of peopleC, loving husband Bcos he alwasheld m hand, looked deep into m ees when we talked and cozied up to me in publicC, successful

businessman Bcos he flaunted his moneC and a super"fit athlete, an iron man Bcos he had a ton oftrophies to prove itC.

on!t you wish your husband was hot like mine"

F freedom eluded me. /fter much thought, # realized # needed a credit card. ne that Tomdidn$t know about.ut # was not gainfull emploed, so # couldn$t get one. # needed to find a wa to get one.ut of desperation, # lied on an application form about m emploment status and :#

managed to secure mself a credit card almost twent grand worth of bags, !ackets, shoes, dresses, make"up, tos, soft furnishings

etc. /ll designer.# would probabl get half of what the were worth, but it would have to do. 0ntil *arren was

old enough for me to hold down a full"time !ob.


10/71

See, # knew that # couldn$t leave the countr with *arren, or Tom would, without hesitationsend the police after me. # would have to live in Sdne so # needed to survive.

Each time # took a step towards m freedom, # got more energized and life became morebearable. The pillow moved further and further from m face.

# thought about talking to m friends about m plans as # desperatel needed support. ut Tomwanted me to associate with selected people, people who # never cared for because of their

shallowness and mean"spiritedness.*henever a friend of mine got e)pensive !ewelr, # made a point of telling Tom how

wonderful her !ewelr was and how much # admired it.1o and behold, m !ealous and vain husbandJabuser would get me a betterone > more

diamonds, more gold, more e)pensive. # would smile and store it awa, then stash the bo) and pricetags in m storage facilit.

The onl hope # had in m life was m storage locker. #t was like a shrine of freedom to me./fter # visited m locker, m spirits alwas soared.nce, # was driving back from m precious storage unit when Nick Fina!$s#reedomplaed

on the radio. # pumped up the volume, opened the sunroof of m F* and sang along to thechorus. # didn$t mind the rap and profanit > # !ust loved the chorus where she said that she felt free.

/lread # was feeling free. Somewhatfree./t the thought of being completel free of Tom, tears ran down m cheeks. ne da # would

taste, feel and be completel free like she was. # would fl like a bird and soar with m bab on mback.

#reedombecame m theme song and whenever times were rough, # hummed it.F song of hope. There will come a da.


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Chapter *o+r

&ouple of times, # de"cluttered > cleared out m cupboards and *arren$s. Konated$ stuff tocharit. Fade a huge noise about it. 0pdated and upgraded stuff around m house.

ut it wasn$t for charit. F clothes were carted off to m storage locker. # even Kgave awa$

TL$s, cd plaers, bedside lamps, kitchen utensils, furniture, soft furnishings and all the stuff #would need in m new home. F nest was growing and freedom was within reach.

Tom did not want me on birth control, but Iod forbid # got pregnant while # was tring toescape his clutches. Muietl, # took a contraceptive in!ection.

ut a hitch > # re"acted badl to the contraceptive in!ection and had to stop. ack to the pillwhich # shoved into m freezer among the frozen russels sprouts and cauliflower. The freezer wascoming in prett hand these das. *ho knew frozen vegetables could mulit"task8

F fear that he would find out about m plans paralzed me with fear at times. # knew that forsome reason and fuck knew wh > Tom didn$t want to lose me. 7e couldn$t live without me forlong.

Never once did # kid mself that it was because he loved me too much.7e onl loved himself. #t was the control that he needed. *ithout that control he floundered.7e was a closed book, so # didn$t know much about his childhood. ut # knew that he had a

long time ago severed all ties with his famil. #t became obvious that he was e)tremel !ealousabout the close relationship # had with m mom and m three siblings. That was the reason he luredme to /ustralia where it was !ust him and me.

/nwa, back to m fear about Tom finding out > had no choice, it was a chance # was willingto take. ften # thought about sitting down and talking to Tom about how # feel, but # feared that hewould get angr and take it out on *arren, so # didn$t.

Then disaster. F worst fears were realized. # fell pregnant.# was so devastated b the news, that after staring slack"!awed at m doctor for a few moments,

# broke down and cried in his rooms. SobbedJ7ow could # possibl bring another child into this marriage, into the midst of a trant8*arren was alread terrorized b his father > when Tom came home ever evening, *arren

was so =uiet, ou$d forget that there was a three"ear old in the room. There couldn$t be tos lingaround > everthing had to be in its place. No terrible twos or tantrum threes for poor *arren > hehad to grow up prett fast or face Tom$s wrath.

#n hindsight, # shouldn$t have had children with Tom. 7orrible thing to sa, but :F doctor was confused at m re"action and =uizzed me about it. # longed to tell him the truth

> tell him everthing. ut how could # > he plaed s=uash ever (rida with Tom867ormones,9 # muttered and hurriedl left his rooms.ut Tom was happ about the pregnanc and threw a lavish part, then threw oodles of !ewelr

at me. /ll of which # accepted with a smile. *hen # look back, # think Tom liked the idea of morekids as the were nooses around m neck which kept me dependent on him.

#t wasn$t alwas like that. *hen Tom met me, # was carefree, but =uiet sure of mself. 7e hadto work reall hard to get me, so it baffled me as to wh he treated me the wa he did.

#t was a difficult pregnanc > several miscarriage scares and # was admitted to hospital atvarious stages of m pregnanc. No wa could # leave Tom now. The noose tightened and deepdown # resented this bab who brought the pillow closer to m face.

Then, on a cold ;ul morning, a beautiful, bounc, blue"eed angel, with lips like rosebuds,was placed in m arms. She was angelic and the image of me and # !ust melted.

She was so soft and delicate that # vowed to mself that # would never let Tom harm her.Tom named her Sasha. B# had no sa in the naming of both m kids whatsoever.C

7e didn$t hurt Sasha, but he grew increasingl impatient and mean towards *arren for noapparent reason. *hen *arren would cr he would call him dumb and siss and stupid.


12/71

*hen # intervened, he would get furious, accuse me of taking *arren$s side and terrorized*arren even more.

ne night, # was reading a bedtime stor to *arren when # stopped and whispered, 6*arren,soon ou, me and Sasha, we$re going to leave this house and live awa from dadd.9

7is ees lit up. 6+eall mum8$# nodded and put m finger to m lip. 6on$t tell dadd, oka89

7e took m finger from m lips and put it to his. 6-ou promise mum896# promise. /nd #$m even going to allow ou a dog. / teen one. Not right awa, but soon

after we settle down.97is ees filled with delight.6*hen dadd is mean, !ust remember that soon we are going to leave him and live !ust b

ourselves.96Then can # run around the house and pla hide"and"seek896/bsolutel.96&an # ell896/bsolutel.96&an # eat in the TL room89

6/bsolutel.96&an # :can # walk around without m shoes896/bsolutel she lost the bab within weeks. *h can$t ou89

67ow man children has /ngelina got8 7er own children89erated, belittled and beaten, # could no longer bear it.


13/71

Sasha was three months old, *arren was four ears"old > it was time to leave this to)icenvironment.

Muestion was, when8 7ow8o # !ust walk out and leave him a note8o # talk to him and sa goodbe8# didn$t know !ust how to do it, so # floundered a bit.


14/71

Chapter *ive

# had gone shopping one Saturda morning with !ust Sasha. 0nable to handle two children, #left *arren with Tom. 7owever, # rushed back home before an drama could take place.

*hen # arrived home to find *arren sitting on a chair, facing the wall, his chin buried in his

chest, each time he sobbed, his bod !erked, # went beserk.6*arren8 *hat$s wrong, hone89*arren put a shaking hand to his lips, his ees as wide as saucers, as if to sa, 6Fum be =uite.

on$t talk or ou$ll get into trouble.9(urious at seeing m son so broken b his father, # pulled his hand out from his lips, then

hugged him.Tom entered the room. 6Iet awa from him


15/71

# didn$t answer.6# will hurt ou in such a wa, ou will never recover from it. -ou will never be the same.96*hat, ou want to kill me, Tom896Nope. *ant ou to live. (eel ever da. 7urt ever da. *ait and see, /rena.9# looked at him. 7is ees were like granite and a chill ran through me.Faim me, perhaps8 0nhinged b his cold threats, # grabbed m stuff and moved awa from

him.nce # had all the essentials # needed, # bundled m kids into m car and drove to a women$s

shelter.# could afford a hotel room for the night, but # had read somewhere that to show real abuse, a

woman should tr to spend a night in a shelter. #t strengthened her case of abuse later on. idn$tknow if it was true, but # did it.

/s # drove to the women$s shelter, with the cops following me, # looked back at *arren.6This is it, *arren. *e are going on a little holida first, then on Fonda, we are going to find

an apartment and then we are going to :96:live happil, ever after, mumm89# laughed although tears ran down m face. 6E)actl, m bab.9

/t the traffic light, # leaned back and put out m hand. 67it me


16/71

Chapter Si,

/s e)pected, Tom cancelled all m credit cards the afternoon that # left him. ut # wase)pecting that and that$s where m plan came in > m storage unit, the ten grand # had in m braand the five grand that m credit card would allow me.

7e also cancelled m phone contract. # was e)pecting that too, and alread had another phonein m storage unit with all m contacts backed up. So far # was ahead of him and that gave meconfidence.

# was scared at times # have to admit. ut m inner strength and the desire to protect m babieswas so strong, that it overrode all m fears and it propelled me along.

n Fonda morning, # dropped off *arren at his school which was paid for for another threemonths, and with Sasha in a stroller, # set about finding an apartment.

#t was e)hausting, but b 2 %F that afternoon, # had found one with the securit # needed. #twas e)pensive > wa more than # e)pected. *ith the rental bond and the first month$s rental, # wasdown five grand > a massive hole in m cash reserves. ut securit was something # !ust had tohave because of Tom$s threats. So # had no choice but to accept it. The building had swipe cardentr to everythingand floor restriction too, which made me feel reall safe.

# moved in twent four hours later, and the first night, we slept on the floor. ut that was oka.Soon # would have all that # needed.

F laptop, i%ad and i%hone came in hand. # found a website which supported abused womenand made contact with them. /fter interrogating me to ensure # wasn$t !ust some abusive husband$ssnitch, a lad b the name of (atima paid me a visit.

She gave me names of other women in the area who were in the same situation, who couldsupport me and # guess, become friends. -ou know, same boat :

She also sent me some students to help me move m stuff from the storage unit into mapartment.

F apartment was, as *arren put it, looking cool. *e assembled beds and packed awakitchen utensils and although # was dropping with e)haustion, # was high on m new life.# immediatel made contact with other abused women referred to me b (atima. To m

surprise and delight, one of them lived in the same building as me.Soong +ichardson Bes, +ichardson was her surnameC was a beautiful mail"order bride from

Thailand who decided to flee her abusive fift"nine ear"old husband with her five"ear"old son,&harlie.

She$d been in the countr for si) ears and her English was fairl good. /round twent"five,prett and streetwise, Soong made no bones about the fact that she was raised in a brothel and put towork from the tender age of four. # learned that she was sub!ected to horrific abuse in the hands ofher emploers and her tales made me cr > like the time she got pregnant from a client, was taken

for an abortion and within twent"four hours was made to work again. ecause she was stillbleeding from the abortion and weak, she was made to give oral se) to customers.

*hen a fift"something man asked her to be his wife and promised her a wonderful life in aland called /ustralia if she did, she thought she$d hit the !ackpot and readil accepted.

Turns out he was a se)ual deviant. *anted her to wear a leather mask, chains and wanted tostuff things into ever orifice of hers. /t the same time.Allthe time.

She e)plained that even thought she had been a prostitute, after she had a bab, she no longerwanted to do all those things, and she had seriousl believed that she had put her past behind her.

67one,9 she said in broken English, 6he give me#ifty Shades of $rey and he sa, ou mustread it and do me like that.9

# laughed out loud.

6# sa, K(aaark ou. # know more than that book, then # leave.9


17/71

Soong was taking control of her life and with the help of &entrelink, was currentl studing tobecome a beaut and massage therapist. She offered to take me to &entrelink and appl forgovernment financial assistant.

# ma laugh at her stor, but m situation was not that much different from hers. BE)cept thatm English was perfect.C # too was a mail"order bride, # understand that now.

Tom came all the wa to South /frica, wooed me into marring him at the tender age of

nineteen and fresh out of high school, then enticed me to /ustralia, promising that together, we willpave the wa for m famil to come to /ustralia.

0ntil # met him, # had never travelled and was prett green about :everything, for that matter.7e promised to sponsor m entire famil Busing his businessC so that we could all be together. utlike all abusers, # understand now that he !ust wanted to isolate me from everone, leaving mewithout support, alone, defenseless and totall reliant on him.

7e succeeded at everthing. ut that was Tom, he finished what he started./s for#ifty Shades of $rey, mine was slightl different > %amela and Tomm 1ee, remember8/s # said, !ustslightly.Even though Soong constantl called me K7one$ and out of habit talked to me like she was

talking to a past client, # reall liked her warmth and caring nature. She was rough, a fighter, a real

loudmouth, but her heart was in the right place.# think she pitied me because she became ver protective towards me. # was reall grateful for

her friendship and big heart.*e soon became firm friends and :a huge bonus > our bos loved plaing together. # watched

her son and she watched mine.ften she would show up at m apartment after m kids had gone to bed, clutching her te)t

books and with tears in her ees. She didn$t understand so man aspects of her studies because ofthe language barrier and it frustrated her to tears. # readil helped her understand and at times, evendid her assignments for her, then e)plained it to her like # was talking to *arren.

/t times like that, # was reall grateful that # was fluent in English.#n fact # had so man things to be grateful for that # kept a gratitude diar and counted m

blessings on a dail basis. Especiall when # became an)ious. *hich was often. Two children underthe age of four, one a bab, no famil or close friends to support ou > # challenge anone womenin m position not to have bouts of an)iousness and self"doubt.

*ith regards to m financial situation > a =uick calculation revealed that # could be home withSasha for about four months if # am frugal. +eall frugal. # was happ to do that, as the thought ofleaving Sasha all da with a da mother was not something # wanted to do. She was so little and sheneeded me so much.

F apartment was tin > one bedroom, a kitchenette, a tin loungeJdining area and a narrowbalcon. ut it was secure, centrall situated and :# did # mention that # was free8

# was so head with e)citement, that # couldn$t stop smiling.

6*arren,9 # said, 6this is now our home honebee< -ou will visit dadd sometimes, but ouwill live here with me.967e$s never going to visit us here89 *arren asked, a hopeful look in his ees.6Nope.96-ou promise, mum89# hugged to me. 6# promise, m darling.9*e had the music on !ust about all da. %op, countr, rmb and boom"boom music too. Even

rap. Even head"banging rubbish as the called it> we plaed it all. Tom onl wanted us to listen toclassical music and he literall banned all modern music from our house. Now we rebelled > we

plaed absolutel no classical music. /ll our music had words.# would put on the music and dance with *arren while Sasha cooed in her bab cradle.

*e were e)cited. *e were happ. 1ife was good.


18/71

Even though we had meager meals and # wasted nothing, and even though we had the barenecessities in our apartment, even though we never had take"out, even though there was no monefor new tos, no mone for Fconalds, we were happ.

The onl thing # splurged on an on"line accounting course. # figured accounting # could dofrom home.

F Eba business cruised along, but since a lot of m stuff was designer, sales were slow.

# didn$t mind. # worked hard with the intention of making it.The amounts # was offered for m !ewelr b pawn shops were ridiculous so # decided to sell

them on"line. There too sales were slow.*hen Sasha was si) months old, # secured a work"from"home !ob from a print shop. Even

though 1aura, the owner had wanted someone to work from her shop, # convinced her that # couldbe !ust as efficient working from home and that if she didn$t like it, she didn$t have to pa me.

She too had a si) month"old bab, so # guess she understood cos she agreed.*hen she saw how and what # had done a week later, she was thrilled and kept me on. #n fact,

she even paid me to watch her child some das, which added to m income.To cope, # woke up at @ /F and worked till H53 /F uninterrupted. Then # worked when

Sasha napped and late at night when the kids were asleep.

# was e)cited about the stead income and scouted around for more !obs. # landed anaccounting !ob at a swim school for three hours a da, two das a week. /nd:the allowed me to

bring m bab to work se) a prostitute.

6*hat ou think so89 she asked, turning around slowl, an e)pectant look on her face. 6*hatou think so89

*hat could # sa8 She was feeling great and she was comfortable in her skin of magenta.6-ou look great,9 # lied.She frowned at me. 6*h ou no read, /rena89# looked down at m black !eans and black strapp top, m stilettos and shrugged. 6*hat$s

wrong with ..896Nah, nah, nah,9 she said. 6-ou look fift"ears"old. 7one must get se)ified.9 She circled her

boobs, then stuck out her butt.# sighed and fished into m cupboards for a top that showed cleavage so that # wouldn$t look

fift. / silver and black top which bunched under the breasts.She gave a thumbs"up to the top, but she shook her head at m !eans.6ka, fine,9 # said and went in search of a black mini.

*hen she saw me in the mini, she clapped her hands. 67undred percent. 7one get husbandtonight.9

6h, no,9 # said as # grabbed m purse and followed her out. 6# do notwant a husband.9


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6r se) then,9 she said. 6&asual se).96h, no


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# made a mental note not to walk alone at night. This homeless gu or whoever he was hadfreaked me out something terrible. /lso made a mental note to get some mace.

Soong probabl spent the night with the gu she met, because at 44 /F the ne)t morning, shewas still not home.

# decided to take the kids to the park. *hen we got into the lift, # was horrified to see thehomeless gu enter the lift. F mouth went dr, m legs went weak. *as he going to rob me8 Steal

m wallet8 rag me awa from m kids and rape me somewhere in dark corner in the building.67ello


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Chapter Eight

7one and # were standing outside m door talking about Files, the gu she was now seeing,when we saw the homeless man, eh, the plainclothes cop. /fter throwing me a dirt look, hesmiled at Soong. 67e Soong< 7ow did our last assignment go89

6#s fucking shiiiit,9 Soong said with a laugh. 6(ift"five percent onl.96/w, that$s too bad. ut ou passed right896ut # pass, so is good.97e put out his hand. Soong high"fived him.To m surprise, he opened the door of the apartment :across me.# looked at Soong with big ees. 7e wasn$t following me, he was returning to his apartment if things weren$t perfect for our guests, Tom wouldget furious and worked up, so much so, that ever time we entertained, # used to be terribl stressedand simpl dreaded entertaining.

Now # was in control and loving ever moment of it.ecause # had two kids under five, # had to prepare well in advance and # did. # actuall started

earl that morning. the time m guests arrived, # was almost done. ;ust the salad left toassemble.

*hen # caught mself belting out#eel This %oment with&hristina and %itbull, # stopped mdicing, put down m knife and smiled. This moment needed to be savoured like fine wine. /nd #did. # cracked opened a 7eineken, took a huge gulp and smiled.

eer was significant at that moment. Tom liked beer but never drank it in public > didn$t wantto come across as a beer"drinker, so he onl drank ;ohnn *alker lue 1abel around friends. -ouknow to impress them further.

# liked beer too, but of course, # wasn$t even allowed to even bu it. 7ad to drink champagne ina long"stemmed crstal glass in front of people.

ut in m teen kitchen, # was drinking beer in a can > tack and # loved it what a delightful thing to be able to do what ou like.

Never again would # give it to a man.Talking about man:if # had to be reall honest, #$d sa that # was looking forwards to seeing

ear, m homeless"man"cop again.# had some serious making up to do and # was going to do it tonight.Files and Soong arrived bringing a ton of food and drink, for which # was grateful.ear was the last one to arrive and he$s brought starters, deserts, wine and beers and goodies

for the kids.6*ow, Santa


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Soong$s !aw drop. 6# :not :a :lie. 7e ask so muuuuuch. *h she leave her husband8 Shesee anbod right now89

/lcohol, when it came to Soong doubled as truth serum.ear scratched his head. 6/nbod got duct tape8 # need to gag Soong


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Chapter #ine

To m disappointment, # didn$t see ear again all week. # found mself craning m neck andlooking around for him, but # assumed that he was out working somewhere.

*hen # did see him at m door on Saturda night, # gasped. 7e was clean shaven, his

moustache was gone, his hair was cut short and neatl stled. 7is clothes > dark pants, blue andwhite striped shirt and black shoes.

7e looked so handsome, # couldn$t believe it was the same homeless"man creature. #n front ofme was a hunk. Totall.

K*ow


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apartment parking lot, then turned to me and kissed me. Slowl at first, then urgentl and # couldn$tbelieve how turned on # was. This was so unlike me. # mean # hated se), # hated intimac, et #wanted ear. adl. So much so that we necked for almost half an hour in the car in the dark.

7e wanted me, # could tell, and # liked howhe wanted me.6# have something to tell ou,9 he said between kisses.#mmediatel alarm bells gonged in m head and # tried to pull awa, but his face staed put,

anchoring mine. 6*hat is it896# have to go awa for si) weeks.9# stared at him in the dark. 6Si) weeks8 *h89Slowl, he ran his fingers through his hair.6/re ou : please tell me that ou$re not still married, ear897e moved awa, back into his seat.%lease don$t let him sa Kes,$ # silentl praed.6#$m like ou, /rena > separated. No chance of reconciliation whatsoever. ut that$s not it >

#$m going on assignment.9(or some reason, # didn$t believe him. # straightened up m top, pulled down m skirt,

smoothed down m hair, with him watching all the while.

6(ine.9 # opened the door and let m disappointed self out.67e, wait it was more spacious than # thought it was, and it was full

furnished in modern black leather couches and black and white striped cushions. ig TL, lots ofaudio stuff and gadgets. / bit untid too > a real man cave for sure./ peak into his bedroom from where # stood revealed his unmade bed. /s # said, a manl

apartment, but comf. 7e slipped his arm around m waist again and crushed me to him.6-ou said ou wasn$t going to :97e gave me a naught smile. 6ne li$l kiss,9 he whispered and captured m mouth with his.Trouble was, # liked his kiss far too much. /fter allowing him to kiss m lips, m neck and m

shoulders, # reluctantl pushed him awa and # have to tell ou, it took ever ounce of willpower todo that.

6ka,9 he said, getting out wine glasses and pouring us a glass of red each.7e sat me on the couch, then sat ne)t to me, once again our bodies touching.

6#$m not !ust plainclothes > #$m undercover as well. # en!oed m work until # got married andhad a bab. Then it didn$t work. ut # wasn$t able to !ust walk awa from m !ob, and Sarah, mwife, well :let$s !ust sa # didn$t blame her. 6


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# took a sip of m wine.6# plan to =uit as # want a normal life. #t was unfair to bring a girl into m life with m !ob, so #

didn$t date. Then ou came along and ou were all over me.96*haaat8


29/71

Chapter $en

The ne)t morning, we awoke to persistent knocking.6/rena


30/71

# wrapped m arms around tighter around his neck and angled m head for more of his kissesand # was amazed at !ust how turned on # was b him. *hen it came to Tom, # was never everturned on. Not once, or # would have remembered it. 7e alwas led and # followed. 1et me rephrasethat > he dictated and demanded and of course, # did as he ordered.

ut now, # have the urge to drag ear into the bedroom and fuck the dalights out of him.*ell, it was night time so it would be nightlights.

/s his tongue probed m eager mouth, his eager hands moved to m breasts. # sighed andslipped m hands under his t"shirt and stroked his muscular back. 7is response was to groan intom mouth and press his hips to mine. 7e was such a se) man that # was embarrassed to feel asilkiness between m thighs almost immediatel.

#t had been a while since # had been with a man and # felt untouched. So to have him touch methat wa was pleasant and # wanted more.

Turning off the stove, # took his hand and led to m diml lit bedroom.Slowl, # removed his shirt and tossed it behind me. # kissed him broad chest, his neck and his

soft mouth.7e moved to take off his belt, but # stopped him.67ere, #$m in charge cop"man,9 # whispered. 6-ou do as # sa or # will handcuff ou to that

bedrail, hear me897is ees lit up.Slowl, with m ees on his, # undid his belt. Then, with m tongue in his mouth, # slowl

unzipped his !eans and pushed it down his long muscular legs. Ientl, # caressed his hips, histhighs, his butt but stopped short of his erection which was huge and ding to be sprung.

# must sa, this power that # was fle)ing right now, made me feel, well, powerful. (or the firsttime # was in control and # found it a huge turn"on.

7is groans spurned me on even more.6ab, please:9# smiled. 6%atience :97e didn$t do patience, evidentl > he grabbed me, tore off m top, unhooked m bra and freed

m breasts into his waiting hands. 6(uck< -ou$re beautiful,9 he whispered.7e kneaded them softl before he sucked on them, one at a time. *ith a deep sigh of pleasure,

m head fell back. 7is flaming kisses travelled all over m breasts, m neck, down m stomach andon m thighs. # caught m breath when he kissed me between them, the flims fabric of m silk

panties and shorts offering little protection from the heat of his urgent kiss. # didn$t want him tostop, but he did, onl to ank down m shorts. 7e pushed me onto the bed and climbed over me.

6(uck, # want ou,9 he whispered. 6Now, please importantshit as et, so it was all causal,something foreign to me. -et, # didn$t care > # wanted him and # was taking him because # felt likeit.

1iberating much8 -ou bet.7e withdrew from me, then turned me around and took me from behind. /s he thrust inside of

me, he reached around to grab m swinging breasts.

6Fan, ou$re beautiful


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7e was in control for sure, but it was different from Tom. 7e was firm and loving, giving, and# welcomed his moves, loved ever moment of it.

/s he twitched inside of me, # felt a million tin bubbles e)plode inside of me. # grabbed ontohis shoulders and let out a long sigh as m bod shuddered with relief. F first orgasm during thedeed. # was surprised that # could actuall orgasm with a man. # never thought it was possible.

Then those firm muscular thighs took over and rocked m bod till he e)ploded deep inside of

me.Slick with sweat, we la in each other$s arms and grinned.6(uck didn$t want a womanto pa.

7e even gave me a credit card and insisted # use it. # did, because # had to./m$s mother was dating a ounger gu who wasn$t into kids. This bothered ear, so /m

spent more and more time with us and that made ear feel complete. # of course, welcomed her

with open arms > she became one of m children and we became a famil of five.*e were driving the kids to the beach and at a red traffic light, ear stopped and looked at me.6*hat897e took m hand, kissed it and placed it on his chest. 6# love ou,9 he whispered.6# love ou,9 # mouthed as tears of happiness filled m ees.7e smiled and leaned in for a tender kiss. The lights changed so we pulled awa and drove on./t the ne)t traffic lights, he leaned towards me again. 6on$t ever go awa, /rena. Sta with

me forever.9# smiled and hugged him.#magine, a few months on m own and # was alread in love with a wonderful man./nd :a wonderful man loved me.

Ever da with ear was better than the last.


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Seemed like m life had finall come together. # had lived through a terrible storm for earsand # had managed to survive it onl to find m rainbow. 7ow cool was that. 7ow luck was #8

1ife was good.Strike that, life was simpl great.


33/71

Chapter Eleven

Still no word from Tom about seeing our kids. 7is silence made me uneas, # had to admit. utit was better to let the dog sleep, so # did.

/s for Files and Soong > the moved in together shortl after Soong graduated from beaut

school.Files set Soong up in her own beaut and massage studio and :the ask me to do all their

accounting< f course # was thrilled.# helped Soong out a lot with &harlie so that she could work the e)tra hours and build her

business. She in turned babsat for me when # needed to run errands.Sometimes, # helped out at reception while Sasha plaed on the floor with her tos. # got her an

advert in the local newspaper and a little free editorial which got Soong$s phone ringing. She wasthrilled.

# reall loved Soong and # would have done anthing to help her succeed.

OOOO

6This will be m last assignment, # promise,9 ear said to m morose face.The da had finall come and he was leaving. # was close to tears at the thought of being

without him for si) weeks. 7ow would # manage8 7ow would # sleep without him when we sleptentwined in each other for the last four months8 *hat do # sa to m kids when the ask for him8The had grown so fond of him and wouldn$t allow him out of their sight. 7is bond with *arrenwas particularl strong.

7e placed his palms on either side of m face and looked into m tear"filled ees. 6#$ll ask fora transfer, we$ll get married, we$ll bu a house, and bab and, we will be happ. Trust me. # don$twant to fuck up what we have. # haven$t been this happ and complete in ears. # need ou,

understand8 # need ou all. # like this Kus$. # don$t wanna come home if there is no Kus$.9# nodded, then hugged him. 6# love ou, ear,9 # whispered. 6%lease come back to me. on$tlet anthing happen to ou. # couldn$t bear it.9

6Nothing$s gonna happen, bab, but if anthing does, ou contact &aptain *arner, oka8 7e$lltr to get word to me. on$t talk to anone else about me, !ust him.9

%arting was trul sweet sorrow > # hugged him and cried buckets as we said goodbe. *hen heleft, the apartment felt empt and # felt an overwhelming sense of loss. #t was a light had gone out.

# could hardl wait for his return.

OOOO

/bout a week after # said goodbe to ear, Sasha, who was almost a ear, had developed anear infection and although she was on antibiotics, she was unable to sleep at night and thereforecrank as hell.

# drove her to the doctor, who immediatel referred me to an ear specialist.Sasha cried all the wa to the ear specialist and all the wa back home. ;ust screamed her lungs

out in the back of m car.6Sasha, mumm is going to stop the car !ust now, darling,9 # chanted, as # navigated m F*

through school"hour traffic to pick up m *arren.The heat didn$t help > a scorching thirt"five degrees. # was hot and e)hausted from not

sleeping for three nights and # had dark rings around m ees to prove it.6Fumm is going to carr ou !ust now, m bab. ;ust hang in there.9

She continued screaming.


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(eeling rattled b her screaming and close to tears mself, # turned m car into *arrimoo/venue, St #ves, the Suburb of *arren$s school, the suburb # fled months ago. To avoid moreturmoil in his life, # had kept *arren in his pre"school.

1ess than five blocks down from his preschool was a small string of shops which # needed tovisit to get milk, bread and a bottle of cold water for *arren. #t was a routine for me to stop at theshops before # picked up *arren.

# pulled into the parking lot onl to find that there was no parking. amn she screamed louder so # shut up. (razzled, # drummed m fingers on the steering wheel while #waited for someone to pull out of a parking space.

6;ust now, m darling, hang in there.9/ long five minutes, mercifull, a Ferc pulled out directlyin front of the little grocer # needed

to visit. +elieved, # maneuvered m F* into the cramped parking space. # cut the engine,scrambled out of the car and opened the back door to take out Sasha. # balked when # saw her fastasleep.

(or a few moments, # stared at m bab who hadn$t slept all night. F dilemma > if # got her

up, she would scream her head off again. #f # let her sleep, # wouldn$t be able to get m bread, milkand water. &ould # possibl leave her in the car while # ran in8

# looked at the supermarket > it$s entrance was about ten feet awa from m car. (rom wherethe e)press till cashier sat, she had a clear view of m car. The milk fridge was right ne)t to thecashier. The bread shelf was opposite the cashier.

# gauged and calculated > # would be able to dart into the supermarket, grab bread and milk,pa for the stuff, all the while, never taking m ees off the car. %robabl all in si)t seconds8

The searing heat forced me to make a =uick decision. # turned on the ignition, which turned onthe aircon and shut the car door. %urse in hand, # raced up to the shop, grabbed the milk and water,scooped up a loaf of bread and in less than si)t seconds, was in line at the cashier. # looked at mcar again. /ll was oka. So far so good. #t was a =uiet neighbourhood and nothing bad everhappened there.

F mone was in m hand to speed up pament, and there were onl two people in front ofme standing in line to pa. This should go =uickl, # thought.

The old woman in front of me holding a can of cat food turned and smiled at me. # smiled backat her before m ees shifted back to the car. # would have to wake up Sasha again when # went to

pick up *arren, a thought # dreaded. # e)pected her to be furious at me for getting her up, but #would have no choice but to wake her up then.

67ot, isn$t it89 cat food lad said.6-eah,9 # said in a tone that did not encourage conversation. # !ust wanted her to pa for her

stuff and move out of the wa.

She did, to m relief. Took her cat food, her change and shuffled awa.# paid for m bread and milk and took a step forward./t that particular moment, the old woman with the cat food lost her balance and stumbled

backwards into me, dropping her cat food and her loose change that she held in her hand.Normall # would not hesitate to help, but # glanced at m car and decided, not toda > let

someone else do it.Nobod did.She was so old > how could # possibl not help her8 Sighing, # turned back and scrambled to

pick up the cat food and change for the lad.6Thank ou so much,9 she gushed. 6Thank ou, thank ou.96-ou$re welcome,9 # mumbled as # picked up her coins from around her feet.

# stuffed them in her hands and turned back to m car.#t was gone.


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# blinked rapidl. The parking space directl outside the grocer where # had parked m car wasempt.

# looked around, craning m neck for a silver F* G. Nothing.6h Iod work from home.9 # looked at him with pleading ees. 6%lease

look for m bab. %lease


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6/ll m famil is in South /frica. %lease call Soong and Files. The$re m friends. # gavethem m phone to get Soong$s number.

6/none else # can call89# gave them (atima from the support group number and the called her too.6o ou have a bofriend896-es, but he$s awa.9

6/wa89# nodded. 67e$s an undercover. ear Shaw. /ctuall, his real name is Shane Shaw. # don$t

know where he$s right now:he couldn$t tell me but :ou gus will know.96ka, we will look into it.96Tell him # need him please.9She nodded.# grabbed her arm. 67e did this. F e) Tom, he vowed that he was going to hurt me because #

left him. 7e promised on the life of m children that he would. Swore.9She nodded slowl, then gentl e)tracted m arm off her arm./bout thirt minutes later she returned to me. 6-our e)"husband is in South /frica, /rena. 7e

left two das ago and he$s due back tomorrow on the 2%F flight.9

# looked at her in disbelief. 6That can$t :96*e contacted his offices, confirmed that he did indeed board a flight to South /frica. Even

obtained footage of him boarding the plane. *e checked his credit card with the bank > showed astring of activit in &ape Town over the last two hours.9

F head lolled. 7ow could that be8 # was so sure it was him.67e$s ruled out as a person of interest, /rena. Now #$m taking ou home.9 She gets to her feet.6No< # wanna sta here


37/71

Chapter $welve

To m disma, # cried so much at the press conference, that # was convinced # had done a bad!ob with m appeal. Talking about Sasha was so painful that # broke down at the ver beginningofthe conference and could barel string sentences together.

6#$m so sorr,9 # said to the cops after the press conference.6No, ou$re alright,9 the said. 6-ou$re human. #t$s understandable. 1et$s get ou home.9n m wa home, in the back seat of a patrol car, m mind drifted to Tom$s parting words, 6#

will make ou pa for this, /rena,9 he had said in a clear concise and meaningful voice. 6#n theworst possible wa. -ou will live to regret this. ;ust ou wait and see. Nobod crosses me.

Nobod.9*orst possible wa...7e was behind this. 7e had to be. Nobod could tell me differentl, # knew it for a fact.# closed m ees and leaned m wear head against the window. #mages of Sasha$s beautiful

face, her charming smile flashed in m mind and despair washed over me. # tried so hard not tothink of her in the dark somewhere, cring, calling for me.

Sta strong, sta calm, positive thoughts > when she sees ou again, she will forget her scarordeal, # told mself.

*e arrived at m apartment in 7ornsb where Soong, Files, (atima and some other residentsfrom the building # had befriended awaited me, all with worried looks on their faces.

# held onto Soong and Files and wept.

OOOO

# was unable to eat, unable to sleep and simpl unable to concentrate. Two female cops staedbehind in case it turned out to be a kidnapping and ransom became an issue. The sent everone

home e)cept Soong who did her best to comfort me.6Iet some rest while ou can,9 the officer said.# tried but # could not sleep. #nstead # la in bed with *arren and thought about Sasha.# managed to dose for about twent minutes, then # was up again to give *arren his breakfast.*hen # saw the two detectives saunter into m apartment at around P /F, unshaven and

looking like the$ve been up all night, # knew it was news.# threw down m dishtowel and rushed up to them. 6id ou find:89etective Tims nodded slowl. 6Fa$am, we found :we found the car and Sasha :ma$am she

was in :96h thank Iod< # have to give her an antibio:96Fa$am, #$m afraid, she didn$t make it.9

6*ha:89 *hat on earth were the talking about86Fa$am, Sasha didn$t make it.6*hat do ou :89 # threw out m palms. 61ike, what do ou mean89/s he e)plained, # heard a deafening roar in m ears, like that of a waterfall.# got onl parts of what the are saing.6:theor:thief realized :bab in the car:abandoned :heat :too much in the car :so

sorr:9Someone in the room was screaming hstericall.Fe.


38/71

Chapter $hirteen

The sa words cannot describe the pain ou suffer when ou lose a child.# believe that words can, so #$m going to tr.#t$s like shards of broken glass, !agged pieces surrounding our heart and ever time ou

breathe, the stab viciousl at our heart.#t$s like ou are constantl swallowing sea sand. -our throat is dr as the Sahara and almost

swollen.#t$s like everone is talking at once but no sound escapes their lips.#t$s like being on a carousel at the fair and it$s spinning at 433 kilometers an hour, almost out

of control.# wanted to die, curl up and !ust let the life ebb out of me.ut # had *arren to think about.F life became a blur and # welcomed it. # didn$t want clarit now, it was !ust too painful.ut unfortunatel m blur didn$t last. nce the cloak of numbness deserted me, a Niagra of

tears prevailed. Even when # was asleep, tears cascaded down m cheeks.# wanted m mother > but she couldn$t get a visa due to her health.# wanted ear, but :

OOOO

# was a suspect in the death of m child.# understood this, accepted it and answered all the ridiculous =uestions the asked over and

over again.# accepted blame for m part in Sasha$s death. *hat # did was stupid, careless and fatal. # was a

bad mother, an unfit one who deserved to be punished. 7urt me, # deserve it.

f course # consented to a polgraph > # had nothing to hide, and all # wanted was for them torule me out as a suspect, so that the could go after the monster who stole m car, then abandonedthe car in a =uiet side street and left m child to bake in it.

Fultiple organ failure was the cause of her death. 7er tin bod was too delicate to handle theoven she was left it.

n top of all of this, # worried about Tom. *as he going to take awa *arren8 eclare me anunfit parent and petition the courts for full custod8 Then punish me b never allowing *arren tosee me again8

*hat do # do if that happens8The thought freaked me out further and # kept *arren close.*hen a policewoman visited, she said, 6-ou husband has arrived in Sdne and he would like

to see both of ou to discuss funeral arrangements.9# nodded and bit m nails. # was so not looking forwards to seeing him and e)pressed m fears

to the policewoman.6*e can do this at the police station if ou$re not comfortable here,9 she said.6# don$t want him to know where # live.9ecause Sasha died in m F*, the police took m car for evidence and forensics, so # no

longer had a car.ut the police were more than happ to drive me to the police station for m meeting with

Tom. #n fact, the police were wonderful in ever sense of the word.Tom was at the police station when *arren and # arrived. Taking a deep breath, # braced

mself for the finger"pointing from him.

raced mself for the barrageof accusations coming m wa56-ou reall fucked things up didn$t ou896This is what ou do when #$m not around89


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6So much for independence and all that shit ou wanted.96This would never have happened if # was in control.96(reedom8 +eall8 This is what it brings896*hat a neglectful mother ou are.96-ou killed our bab. -0


40/71

Fost alarming was fficer Smith > she appeared to be hanging onto his ever word. She$s theone who talked to me earlier on about how a women with a bab and a toddler won$t leave a lap oflu)ur unless there was a real problem.

6F wife is a great mother,9 # heard Tom sa, loud enough for me to hear. / small chucklefrom him. 6$cuse me if # still sa KF wife.$ #$ve never dated another woman, so in m mind, she$sstill m wife and the$re still m famil. Sill, # know.9

6h, no, no, we understand,9 Sargent Smith said.# was prett sure that after the policemen and policewomen met Tom, the thought differentl

of me > that # bullshitted them about Tom. %robabl thought that # left him because # wanted to plathe field. 7ow =uickl did # get a bofriend8

*hat the saw was a man broken over the loss of his child, et he treated me his errant andneglectful wife with utmost love and respect. *ho wouldn$t gravitate towards him8

# heard a detective ask him to take a lie detector test. *ould he8# held m breath as # waited for his answer.6Sure. /bsolutel.9# couldn$t believe how readil he agreed to take the test. *as # so wrong about Tom8The police thanked him and arranged it that same afternoon.

/nwa, # was hopeful > the polgraph would show deception > if he was involved with thedeath of Sasha. ecause deep down, # knew that he was.

To m utter astonishment, he passed the test.# was floored.7ow was that possible8 # no longer knew which side was up.Even more confusing, Tom went on TL and offered a hundred thousand dollar reward for

information leading to the arrest and conviction of the murderer of our bab accusing an innocent father of a most

heinous crime ever > murdering his child. &alling him a monster.#magine if # was accused of killing Sasha8 # was a suspect, true, but imagine if # was

wrongfull chargedwith Sasha$s death8 7ow would # feel8So, if Tom wasn$t responsible for the death of our bab, then who was8#f it was someone else, then # had one more person in m life to hate, but m gut told me

otherwise >nagged me like a persistent gastric ulcer. #t was Tom.ut that was onl mysuspicion.Everone else$s ees were now on this bofriend of mine who couldn$t be found and the

=uestions darted at me, fast and furious.7ad ear and # been fighting recentl87ad he ever been abusive towards me87ad he been abusive towards m children8

7ad # known ear before # left Tom8ear was still married8id he resent m children, felt that the were in the wa8id he ever threaten to hurt them867e$s not like that,9 # e)plained. 67e loves m children and he loves me. 7e$s a wonderful

man.9The e)changed Keah"right$ looks.


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Chapter *o+rteen

# became concerned when # heard that nobod could locate ear./fter a few das, # asked to see &aptain *arner. 7e, for some reason was reluctant to see me.

ut # persisted and eventuall # was ushered into his office.

6Frs otha, #$m reall sorr for our loss.96Thank ou.96-ou mention a ear Shaw.9# nodded. 6ShaneShaw.960nfortunatel, we don$t have anone b that name, #$m afraid.96That$s$ because he$s an undercover. %robabl has a different:96# know all the undercovers, Frs otha, and # know nobod b that name, Fa$am.9# frowned and scratched the back of m neck. &ould ear have given me the wrong details8

*hat the hell was going on86# can show ou photos of all our undercovers and mabe ou can identif him896Sure.97e pulled out an album full of photos and presented them to me. # scanned them all, but none

of them were ear.# placed a hand on m forehead as confusion reigned over me. 67e has a daughter, /m:896o ou have a vehicle registration, perhaps89 he asked in a smpathetic voice.# shook m head, feeling the fool that # was.6# will look into it, check out his apartment and get back to ou. &an # ask that ou please don$t

pursue this8 # don$t want to alert this person in an wa.9/lert him in an wa8 This person8 *hat the hell was going on86Sure.9The had ear wrong. 7e wasn$t the fraud the were making him out to be.

7owever, b the time # left the police station, # felt somewhat duped b ear. 7ow did # evenknow that he was a policeman8 # !ust took his word for it.ut he had given me &aptain *arner$s name8Fabe he gave me the &aptains name not realizing that # would actuall needto contact him.7ow stupid was #8 7e was probabl married to someone in another state and lead two lives. /

candidate for prah.Even though # doubted who ear reall was, # didn$t believe that he would hurt Sasha. #

remember how he held her and how he would kiss her and cheek when she slept and how man softtos he bu her. 7e adored her. That # believed.

/nwa, what does it matter that ear was a fraud8 # can$t even think about him with Sasha onm mind right now.

# stowed ear in the attic of m mind. 1ater, ear whoever ou are.7ow do # describe the funeral87eartbreaking.# wanted it to be over. # never wanted to remember Sasha like the wa # saw her > ashen and in

a tin white coffin.#t changed me and part of me died with m bab that da. # would never be the same.# remember feeling rage > # wanted to hurt someone. adl.

Faim, in!ure, slash at them. # !ust wanted to fight.# stood at her grave and closed m ees. Sasha my baby, mummy is so sorry to have hurt you& '

promise you darling, that one day ' will find the person who did this to you and ' will hurt them like

they hurt you& ' promise my darling baby& ' love you forever&

OOOO


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(or three weeks Tom was consistentl wonderful to *arren and me. Sometimes # had towonder if this was the same man who abused and mistreated both me and m son.

*ho grabbed me b the throat and s=ueezed till # saw tin black dots in front of m ees.*ho towered over *arren and smashed a & with his bare hands, scaring *arren into wetting

his pants.*ho mocked *arren and called him names because *arren wore a pull"up to bed.

*ho grabbed m phone out of m hands and dropped it into the toilet once, because # was toolong on the phone with m mother in South /frica, who had !ust undergone chemotherap.

*ho threatened to put *arren out of the balcon in dark if he didn$t stop cring./s # said, it came to a point that # had to =uiz mself as to who # was. # felt like # was going

mental.Tom was alwas helpful, eager to make us happ and he spent like craz on *arren and me.

ought us stuff we didn$t ask for and didn$t even need.7e had passed the polgraph, he defended me like craz and most of all, he made no attempt to

take awa *arren.61osing Sasha has been a wake"up call,9 he said to me. 6# know that # have done and said some

things that were trul :9 he dropped his head in shame. 6# didn$t want to see the kids because #

feared that # was too weak to give them back to ou. # needed the time to do some soul"searchingand # did, /rena, # did. Iod, # did > realized !ust how much # loved ou and m kids. *ithoutou, /rena, # am incomplete. #$ve been in therap and # have tackled demon after demon. Trust me,it has reall helped me see where # went wrong.9

6ka.96Everbod deserves a second chance, /rena. # need one too. &ome home. #t$s where ou both

belong. # miss m son so much. 1osing Sasha has changed me. # can$t bear to think somethingcould happen to *arren.9

6# will think about it,9 # said. 6(or now, # have too much on m plate to consider anthingdrastic. %lease understand.9

6/bsolutel. Take all the time ou need.9/ wonderful changed man or a con artist8 # had to wonder as # was so damn confused.

OOOO

&ulpable homicide.That was the charge. # nodded and pled guilt.# had this incessant need to pa for m negligence. F wa of writing m horrendous wrong. #

was responsible for m bab$s death and # wasn$t shirking that.# neededto pa.# needed to bleed, then onl would Sasha be avenged for m part in her death. Twisted wa of

thinking but :F dilemma was *arren. #f # went to !ail, what would become of him8 7e was !ust five and abattered five"ear"old at that, thanks to his authoritarian father who ruled with an iron"fist and ironfoot.

/fter Sasha$s death, he became ver cling and slept in m bed.Tom said that he$s changed, but # knew that nobod changes overnight. # worried about *arren

> stressed about leaving him with Tom.*hen Tom heard that # was being charged with culpable homicide, he rushed to the police

station, appearing distraught as hell. 7e secured me a lawer right awa > one of Sdne$s best.6She$s a good mother,9 he protested. 6She wouldn$t have done anthing to harm her kids.

ka, sure we had our problems, but as a mother # cannot fault her. 7e went on to urge the police

not to charge me.


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6# know ou gus have a !ob to do and # respect that, and man, ou gus found the car in lessthan twent"four hours so:# mean, # applaud ou gus, but m wife: ou have to have a heart.She$s a mother who has suffered.9

Even though he was saing all the right things, # wished he wouldn$t call me his wife./s he ranted and raved about me and what a wonderful mother # was, # watched detectives and

attorne$s defenses slowl disintegrate.

/nwa, due to mitigating circumstances, # was sentenced to two ears imprisonment, but :with no!ail time, !ust probation.

# could be with *arren.# cried with relief.


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Chapter *i%teen

# found life unbearable. The pain of losing Sasha coiled around m heart and threatened tos=ueeze the life out of me. # wanted numbness. # wanted drugs, # wanted darkness.

# withdrew from everbod and everthing and no longer left m apartment, unless it was

absolutel necessar.Soong and Files were wonderful > the took care of *arren the das when # couldn$t get out of

bed, the das when # staed up all night, all da and then became a zombie who sat in a chair andstared out of the window at nothing.

# forgot to eat, forgot to shower, forgot to take *arren to school some das, forgot to pick himup from school. #n short, # had lost m marbles.

Tom had been working hard on his relationship with *arren and slowl, # saw *arrenwarming towards his father. # was relieved. *ith ear the bastard out of the picture, he needed afather figure, and who better than Tom, his biological father8

6# want to take him to &anberra,9 he said. 6;ust for a week.96o ou want to go, *arren89 # asked, e)pecting him to sa KNo.96-es< add is taking me to the monster truck show.96:ka, then.96*h don$t ou come with89 Tom asked.# gave a dismissive wave.6#t$ll do ou good.96#$m not in the mood.96#$ll get ou a separate bedroom:896# need to be alone, Tom9 # said. 6esides, # need permission to leave the state. %arole,

remember896ka, if ou change our mind, # will arrange permission for ou with our parole officer.9

/ da later, # called and talked to *arren.6Fum8 &an :can ou come over8 %lease8 Fum8 Fum89ing< ing< ing< /larm bells went on in m brain. Something wasn$t right with *arren.6*hat is it, *arren896Nothing mum, # !ust :# !ust need ou, that$s all. %lease mum.9#t was %F. No time to get permission to leave the state.6%ut dadd on the line, *arren.967e$s missing ou, that$s all, Tom said in a causal voice. 6&ome on over.96# don$t have permission, Tom.96The won$t know. ;ust get into the Ferc and drive down. on$t break an speed limits and

ou$ll be fine. &$mon, he misses ou< 7e$s been through a lot > let$s give him a break.9

*ithout thinking, # got into m car and drove to &anberra. #t was a four hour drive so # coulddrive there, pick up *arren and drive back b morning and nobod would know.

# was careful with m speed limit and followed the rules of the road so as not to be stopped bthe cops.

-et, five minutes after # arrived in &anberra and !ust si) minutes awa from Tom and *arren,# was pulled over b the cops it gave mea thick skin. # wanted to be removed from societ so that # didn$t have to interact with anbod.

The onl thing that reall affected me was *arren > he was now with Tom.# felt helpless and # was furious with mself over that.


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To keep Tom happ, # was ver nice to him, saing all the right things and giving him hopethat # ma go back to him. #t worked, *arren whispered that his father was nice to him.

OOOO

Silverwater &orrectional &entre was where # was to serve m sentence.

Finimum securit, but a !ail nevertheless.Tom, of course, automaticall got full custod of *arren. 7ow could # possibl fault him8 #t

wasn$t like he petitioned the courts for custod. # had stupidl brought this on mself.1osing custod of *arren made me once again think of suicide.#$ve basicall lost both m kids because # chose freedom. (uck this freedom shit. # had it all

wrong. # was a nut !ob who messing up at ever turn.7owever, Tom brought *arren to see me ever Sunda. 7e usuall brought tons of gifts, food

and chocolates, most of which # gave awa to other inmates and some to the wardens.To m utter relief, *arren didn$t look too sad or distressed and for that # was grateful and

relieved. %erhaps Tom had changed after all. # so much wanted to believe it.# was a model prisoner hoping to get earl release from prison. # staed out of fights, did what #

was told and spent m spare time sleeping.*hile incarcerated, # had plent of time to think and # thought about ear. *hat a

disappointment he was to me. / con artist who preed on gullible, need women like me. *hat asucker # was to believe all that he told me.

# mean it was almost three months since he left, so he was definitel not coming back. *as hewining and dining some other sucker while # la in prison8 *as he laughing his arse off at mtrusting self8

# worked out what # would sa to him if ever # saw him again. #f he was fortunate enough toencounter me. #t wasn$t going to be prett.

ut after a bout of unbridles anger, # thought about ear in a different wa > his arms aroundm naked bod, his muscular thighs over mine, his smiling cobalt ees, the wa he held m facewith both his hands when he kissed me, that night at the restaurant with a fireplace, the wa he

plaed with *arren and Sasha, the da he told me that he loved me, our favorite waterfall picnicspot :

# ached for him. #n spite of everthing that he did, # wanted him to hold me and love me thewa he had. *hat a pit that he knew e)actl how to love me.

(ool that # was.

OOOO

Then two months after # was in prison, # had a visitor.

Thinking it was Tom, # made m wa to the visitors room and balked. #t was ear. 7air,disheveled and looking like the disgusting piece of crap that he was.# hesitated, then walked slowl towards the man # once loved with all m heart. The dog who

promised me the earth onl to let me down like Tom did.6/rena, #$m so sorr, bab,9 he said. 6Sasha:# loved that child, # reall did.9

Really now, you rotten piece of crap"

6-ou should have said twelve weeks, not si), ear"whoever"the"fuck"ou"are.6 itternessoozed out of me. 6#f # could, #$d take one of these guards weapons, shove it into our mouth and

blast ou to smithereens, ou disgusting piece of shit. *ho the fuck are ou8 r have ou forgottenwho ou are with all the arns ou spin89

(or a moment, he stared at me, then slid over his police #.

# sneered at it. 6Fade in &hina. -ou should have got some for the children too, ou arsehole. 96/rena, stop< # am who # sa # am, for fuck$s sake


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6# was delaed, oka8 The assignment took longer than # e)pected, /rena.96+eall 33H8 7e can # be Fonepenn896/rena, contacting me would have compromised our investigation that took months to set up. #

returned this morning and #$m here now. on$t do this.9# stood up. 6(or the record, # reall fell in love with ou. # didn$t e)pect to fall in love with

another man after what # had been through, and # didn$t want to. ut ou : ou plaed me and #

fell hard. #t hurts so much. ut he, # learned m lesson.96/rena, listen :96?eep the beard, it suits our real character.96/rena


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# didn$t need a car anwa, so # didn$t ask Tom about the Ferc sitting in our three"car garagein St #ves, and this time, he did not offer it to me. 7e was guarded and reserved these das > #attributed it to the fact that ear was around.

7owever, being the proud peacock that he was, he never once mentioned ear, as if to sa thatear did not feature or was wa too insignificant to even worth a mention.

Sometimes, when # needed to see *arren, # used ear$s ;eep to travel to them.

Tom eed the ;eep with a slight sneer on his face, but said nothing.# was relieved that he wasn$t badgering me into coming back to him.To keep mself bus, # started working full"time at Soong$s. F aim was to build a solid life

with a proper income so that when # petitioned the courts for custod of *arren, # would get it. #wanted full custod, but was happ to allow Tom as much visitation as he wanted.

ear and # saved most of our mone for the attorne we planned to get. Each time he had goneon assignment he had received a huge pacheck, and he had all that mone saved. #t was for asecurit"related business he planned to open one da when he resigned from the %olice force.

Now he was more than happ to give it all to me for attorne$s fees.60se ever penn, bab,9 he said, giving me his bank card. 6*arren$s worth it.9# was moved to tears > he was prepared to forgo his dream for me. *hat more could # want in a

man8


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Chapter Si,teen

*hen ?obus$s girlfriend, 1anita, called me, # was surprised. # had met 1anita once when sheand ?obus came to dinner. She was a sweet girl and # wondered wh she would hang with a thuglike ?obus who disrespected her something terrible in public.

67e was involved in a car crash and he wants to see ou,9 she said in a tearful voice. 6Sa$she$s gonna die.9

6*haaaat8 skulls and snakes and blood drops :

7is fre=uent visits to the bathroom and the wa he alwas wiped his nose, made me suspectthat he was a cokehead.

*hen # mentioned it once with Tom, he told me to keep m trap shut and mind m ownbusiness. So # did.

# looked at the time > %F. ear was working the night shift. Fabe # should go tomorrow, #thought. ut 1anita$s words about not telling Tom sparked m interest, so # got dressed and headedoff to 7ornsb 7ospital.

# was shocked when # saw ?obus > he had a huge bandage on his head and was hooked up toabout four machines. 7e had three intravenous lines, and urine bag and he was on o)gen. 7is facewas bloated and almost unrecognizable. *hen he saw me, he flicked his finger at me.

# walked closer to him. 67e ?obus< -ou look like shit, man.9 # smiled tring to make light ofthe situation.

7e didn$t respond to m !oke. #nstead he sent 1anita out of the room and began babbling. /she did, # clamped m hands across m mouth to prevent mself from screaming.

7e told me that Tom wasn$t in South /frica during the time of Sasha$s death. 7e was inSdne ling low. ?obus had assumed Tom$s identit and travelled to South /frica, where hecarefull established a paper trail on behalf of Tom.

Feanwhile, Tom had stalked me for das, sat outside m apartment and watched me and earon the balcon, watched us dancing with his kids, watched us at the waterfall picnic spot with ear,saw us kiss and make out and was livid. 7e told ?obus that he couldn$t rest until he destroed mefor taking up with another man.

Tom got his chance outside the shops. Stealing the car was his plan all along, but he planned tohave both the children in the car when he did.

1uckil for *arren and unfortunatel for Tom, *arren wasn$t in the car that da.7e had wanted to frame me for their deaths and send me to !ail, but things didn$t go according

to plan and all # got was probation.isgusted8 There$s more > he went one step further > enticed me to &anberra, causing me to

violate m parole, then called the cops anonmousl and informed them that # was violating paroleb leaving NS*.

7is aim from the ver beginning was to send me to prison. Take awa from freedom that #craved.

7e had hoped that, now that he had custod of *arren, # would move back with him, but since# refused to and was with ear, he was livid and was planning something big where ear would be

blamed and go to prison for life.Then # would go back to him. 7e wouldn$t stop unless # did.?obus wasn$t sure what he meant b Ksomething big,$ but he suspected it involved *arren.

/ll Tom$s niceness after Sasha$s death was !ust an e)cuse to get closer to me and win me back.*hen that failed, he moved to plan b, c and d.

7is words to ?obus about this new plan of revenge, 6lood. Ler blood.9


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?obus warned me not to approach Tom right now, as nothing he said could be proven and Tomma hurt *arren if # make him mad. 7e suggested that # take *arren and disappear. #t$s was theonl wa, he said, or he was coming after me with all guns blazing.

67e$s got a %.#. on ou all the time.96*h ou telling me all this89 # asked.6ecause # am going to die and # want to tell ou before # do. # didn$t e)pect him to kill his

child. # thought he was taking them out of the countr to hide them or something896*h didn$t ou go to the cops896Skeletons,9 he said. 6Too man in m closet.9/s he was talking, a machine started beeping, so nurses and doctors kicked me out of the ward.# stood in a daze as all that # heard minutes ago reverberated in m brain.#f ?obus lived, # was oka. # could go to the cops and tell them all of it. ut what if ?obus

died8 /ll proof died with him8 *hat do # do then8

OOOO

# raced back to Soong$s house and threw up.

Fainl out of absolute fear. 7ow could # possibl leave *arren with Tom after hearing what #!ust heard8 # need to do something to keep *arren safe and # needed to do it now.

ut what8F mind raced > Tom killed Sasha because # left him. 7e ma now go after *arren and ear

if # did not to back to him. #t$s me he wants, simple.# felt trapped. # felt imprisonedactuall. eing in !ail was nothing like # was feeling at that

moment when # realized that # was trapped > return to Tom or lose ear and *arren.# accused Tom of a heinous crime. # was right. Tom was a monster who thought nothing about

killing his own child.*hen # think of the tears he shed over Sasha$s death, the wa he looked broken and like a man

grieving:7ow could he be this wa8 ?ill his own child8 *ho does that8 / pschopath8 / sociopath8

The thought sickened me.ut in a wa, # was relieved > m gut wouldn$t be fooled and kept nagging me that it was Tom.&lever Tom > he hoodwinked police and passed a polgraph.rilliant Tom.Evil Tom./fter a lot of thought, # came to a conclusion > the onl wa # would be free was to kill Tom.Then we$d all be safe and at peace.That was a solution, but long"term one at that. # needed to diffuse the situation, calm Tom

down right awa. 7e wanted me and if # ac=uiesced, everone would be safe. # needed to go back to

Tom until # killed him.F calm at such a terrible thought surprised me. ut # had been through so much that # too hadevolved > # thought nothing of murdering a man.

#n all fairness to me > a man who thought nothing of murdering a beautiful bab. 7is ownbab.

The thought of living with Tom in that suffocating environment sent me fling back into thebathroom to throw up again.

#t was b far the second worst thing # would have to do in m life. B#dentifing Sasha$s bod inthe morgue was the worst.C

ut it was something # had to do > submit to Tom.ear > how the hell do # tell him that # was going back to Tom8 # couldn$t. # didn$t want to hurt

him. 7e didn$t deserve it. ut # had to do it.# couldn$t !ust leave without an e)planation > the man gave me everthing he had, he loved me

to bits and # owed him answers. 7e was at work and would be back in the morning, so # wrote him a


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long, length letter e)plaining ever little thing. #n hindsight, # shouldn$t have done that, but # wasso unhinged after what # had heard, that # was not thinking clearl.

/fter # wrote it, # left it on m bedside table./s # dressed, # realized that ear might decide to take matters in his own hands after reading

the letter. *hat if, while he was doing that, Tom shot him or hurt him reall badl8 *hat if hehurtTom, then went to !ail8 # couldn$t risk that. +ather hurt ear and e)plain later.

# rushed over to the letter, picked it up and tore it up into tin pieces and threw it into therubbish bin.

onning on a red mini, a I"string, a push"up bra and stilettos, # got into ear$s ;eep and droveto St #ves.

6/rena


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# absolutel did not want to get into the hot tub with the murder of m child, but # had toremind mself wh # was there. # give mself to him and everbod is safe. # could do that.

6ut, but, # don$t have a bikini, Tom,9 # said in a girlish voice.6-ou don$t need one,9 he slurred. 6Iod, # love it when ou sa m name.9# was aware that a ton of m clothes were probabl still in this house, so clothing wasn$t an

issue.

6&$mon


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7e was behind me in an instant, pressing is hot dick against m butt.7is hands reached behind, grabbed m breasts and s=ueezed. 6Iod, # want ou< So badl.96*h me8 There are so man other girls:96Nah. -ou do it for me. (rom the da ou first re!ected me.96+e!ected ou8 *hen did # do that896That da at the part, when we first met8 -ou were the onl girl who wasn$t interested in me.

*hen # looked back and saw ou looking bored and unimpressed, # knew ou were the girl for me.96Fm.9 True # wasn$t interested with him.6Then wh the fuck did ou treat me like shit896#$ll change. # promise. # alread have.96+eall896%lease< &ome back. # need ou. Tomorrow. Everthing else:bgones.9# turned around and faced him. 6#$ll give it a trial. ut # want more freedom and ou better pla

nice.97e responded b kissing me wildl.# managed to leave without getting fucked b him. ut # knew that # had him hankering after

me which was what # wanted.

# felt better and safer now that # knew he wasn$t mad at me. # knew that he wouldn$t hurt*arren or ear as long as he had hope.

ear< h Iod, how the hell do # tell him that #$m leaving him8 F heart broke at the thoughtof not seeing him again, not holding him, not kissing him.

ut # had to do what # had to do, so # forced ear feelings out of m thoughts.


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Chapter Seventeen

6*hat the fuck are ou saing, /rena89*e sat across each other at his dining table.6ear, remember when ou asked me to trust ou8 ecause ou had a good reason89

7e didn$t answer.6# need ou to trust me, bab. # need to do :.96-ou need to go back to him8 /fter what he did, /rena8 /re ou fucking mad896:this. ear, please, #$m not saing goodbe to ou. #$m saing for a while. Trust me. # will

e)plain later.97e !erked to his feet, knocking the chair back and making me !ump.6# fucking love ou. 7ear that8 # love ou. # wanna help ou. o what needs to be done. #

know something is up and # want ou to tell me what it is.9 7e wagged his finger at me. 6# will killfor ou, /rena. ?ill for *arren too. #t$s not new to me, bab. -ou don$t know me. -ou have noidea who # am. # don$t want to tell ou because # don$t wanna scare ou off, don$t wanna lose ou.ut if ou walk out the door, we$re done. 7ear me89

#t was so tempting for me to tell him everthing, but # worried that he$d go after Tom.6# need ou to trust me, ear,9 # said as # picked up m bag.ear looked at me with tears in his ees. 6# gave ou everthing # could, et ou do this to me,

to us, /rena89 7e grabbed his kes and stormed out of the apartment.*ith a heav heart, # called a cab and went to the hospital to see ?obus.?obus was sitting up in bed, looking much better and # was certain he wasn$t going to die.6So, tell me more, ?obus,9 # said.7e gave me a blank stare. 6$bout :what896Sasha > Tom$s involvement with her death.96*hat the fuck are ou talking about89 he snarled.

7is reaction took me b surprise. 6F bab. -ou said that Tom stole the car with Sasha in it.-ou said that ou helped him.9?obus$s ees bulged with what looked like fear. 6/re ou fucking high8 Iet the fuck out of

here. # never said those goddamn things.9# stared at him in disbelief. 6-es, ou did the other da, ?obus.96# must have been drunk and talked shit. None of it was true, oka8 Now get the fuck out of

here, ou cheating whore< # know all about ou and our cop bofriend > the cunt ou left Tom for.6

6*hat8 about the waterfall at the picnic spot, us dancing in m apartment :

/s # stormed out of the hospital, # vowed to kill ?obus one da. 7ow and when # had no idea, #!ust knew that # would.

OOOO

(ucking Tom was the worst part of this whole peration ?ill Tom.The onl wa # could suffer his tongue in m mouth and his dick inside of me and the

marathon se) was to pretend that it was m handsome hunk called ear.


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Tom was on top of the world at our reconciliation, as he called, and went out of his wa to benice to *arren and me. 7e bought me a huge diamo

Eve Rabi - You-Will-Pay for Leaving Me

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Transcript of Eve Rabi - You-Will-Pay for Leaving Me