ETI 305Introduction to Literary Translation

Editing and Revising for Translators

Shift of Expression-Popovič

• “All that appears as new with respect to the original or fails to appear where it might have been expected may be interpreted as a shift.”

Shift of Expression-Popovič• Obligatory shifts (rule-governed) can arise from

following differences.– Structural-syntactic– Semantic– Phonological – Cultural

• Optional shifts (determined by translator’s norms) may take place without any linguistic or cultural necessity.

• Non-shifts are part of the text where no shift takes place.

Possible translation problems• Overall comprehension of the ST• Terminology/Word Choices• Grammatical Choices/Syntactical Choices (producing

more or less distortion to the meaning)• Omission/Addition (affecting accuracy) • Misspelling • Punctuation/formatting errors• Appropriateness for Target Audience• Readability/Idiomatic correctness• Function/Completeness

Revising

• Revising is the function of translators in which they identify features of the draft translation that fall short of what is acceptable and make appropriate corrections and improvements.

• (See Revising and Editing for Translators by Brian Mossop, Units 9-14)

Revision Parameters• Problems of meaning– Accuracy: Does the translation reflect the message of the

ST?– Completeness: Have any elements of the message been

left out?

• Problems of content– Logic: Does the sequence of ideas make sense? Is there

any nonsense or contradicton?– Facts: Are there any factual errors?

Revision Parameters• Problems of language and style– Smoothness: Does the text flow? Are connection between

sentences clear? Are the relationships among the parts of each sentence clear? Are there any awkward, hard-to-read sentences?

– Tailoring: Is the language adapted to the users of the translation and the use they will make of it?

– Sub-language: Is the style suited to genre? Has correct terminology been used? Does the phraseology match that used in original target-language texts on the same subject?

– Idiom: Are all the word combinations idiomatic? Does the translation observe the rhetorical preferences of the target language?

– Mechanics: Have rules of grammar, spelling, punctuation, house style and correct usage been observed?

Revision Parameters• Problems of physical presentation– Layout: Are there any problems in the way the text is

arranged on the page: spacing, indentation, margins, etc.?– Typography: Are there any problems of text formatting:

bolding, underlining, font type, font size, etc.?– Organization: Are there any problems in the way of the

document as a whole is organized: page numbering, headers, footnotes, table of contents, etc.?

Self-Revision

• Self-revision is the translator’s own check of the draft translation.

• It’s an essential part of translation procedure; skipping it is simply unprofessional.

• The minimum acceptable is a full unilingual reading of the translation.

• If time permits, a comparative re-reading should also be done.

Self-Revision: Order of Operations• Do an initial Spellcheck to remove any annoying

typographical errors.• Read the entire translation for Logic, Smoothness,

Tailoring, Sub-language, and Idiomaticity, and those aspects of typography and punctuation that are important for meaning.– “I don’ think I know.” vs “I don’t think; I know.”

• Do a comparative check for Accuracy and Completeness. If the client wants the translation to follow the Layout of the ST, check this at the same time.

• Read the entire translation from start to finish for Mechanics and consistency.

Self-Revision: Order of Operations• Do a separate check for numbers if they are important

to the message.• Check the document’s Organization• Run Spellcheck again in case you have introduced any

errors.• Press Control-S to make sure you have saved all your

changes

Revising the Work of Others• No passion in the world is equal to the passion to alter

someone else’s text. (H. G. Wells)

• The main mistake new revisers make is over-revising.• The interpersonal aspect of revising the work of others

makes this task quite different from self-revision, where making unnecessary changes merely wastes time.

• The more revisions you make, the greater the risk that you will introduce error and make the translation worse.

Revising the Work of Others• To avoid making unnecessary changes you should:– recognize the validity of approaches to translation other than

your own;– bear in mind that the translator knows more about the text

than you do;– make sure that you can justify any changes you’d like to make.

• Remember, when you’re revising other people’s work, a simple “it sounds better my way” is not a satisfactory explanation for any changes you have made.

Revising the Work of Others

• How can you know when to make a correction to a draft translation?

• A correction is definitely needed:– if you can’t understand the translation without

consulting the ST;– if you have to read a sentence twice to understand it

correctly.

Revising the Work of Others• On the other hand:• Avoid perfectionism. Don’t ask yourself “Can I improve

this?” but ask “Do I need to improve this?” There are not just two degrees of quality – excellent or dreadful. There are in fact many degrees of acceptable quality depending on the brief.

• Don’t retranslate. Whenever possible, make small changes in the translation. Don’t restart the drafting process by working from the ST and inventing a whole new translation of a sentence.

Revising the Work of Others• Don’t accidentally introduce errors. When making

changes to achieve accuracy or completeness, you may intoduce language errors. When making corrections for language, you may introduce transfer errors. Also when you make a language change, you may have to make other changes elsewhere in the same sentence, or in the preceding/following sentence(s).

• Minimize corrections of features you are not currently checking. (i.e. if you are checking for completeness, don’t get diverted by a language problem)

Check out the following• Little Mrs. Sommers one day found herself the unexpected

possessor of fifteen dollars. It seemed to her a very large amount of money, and the way in which it stuffed and bulged her worn old porte-monnaie gave her a feeling of importance such as she had not enjoyed for years.

• Küçük Bayan Sommers bir gün kendini beklenmeyen bir 15 doların sahibi olarak buldu. Bu ona çok büyük miktarda bir para olarak gözüktü ve paranın yıpranmış eski çantasında yarattığı dolgunluk ve kabartı ona yıllardır eğlenemiyor olmasının ne kadar önemli olduğu hissini verdi.

Check out the following• The question of investment was one that occupied her

greatly. For a day or two she walked about apparently in a dreamy state, but really absorbed in speculation and calculation. She did not wish to act hastily, to do anything she might afterward regret. But it was during the still hours of the night when she lay awake revolving plans in her mind that she seemed to see her way clearly toward a proper and judicious use of the money.

• Parayı nasıl harcayacağı sorusu onu en çok meşgul eden şeydi. Bir veya iki gün sanki rüyalar aleminde dolaştı, fakat gerçekten spekülasyon ve hesaba dalmıştı. Daha sonra pişman olabileceği bir şey yapmamak için aceleyle hareket etmek istemedi. Fakat gözüne uyku girmeden aklında planlar çevirirken parayı mantıklı ve münasip şekilde harcama yoluna karar verdiğinde henüz gecenin durgun saatleriydi.