Entry Name: WAAAGH! Screwbitz - Variance Hammer...Entry Name: WAAAGH! Screwbitz There was a low...
Transcript of Entry Name: WAAAGH! Screwbitz - Variance Hammer...Entry Name: WAAAGH! Screwbitz There was a low...
EntryName:WAAAGH!Screwbitz
TherewasalowringingthroughthehallsoftheWingsofJustice.Thesoundoftheklaxon
fadingandbeingreplacedbythegeneralhumofthewarpdrive.Unsureofwhatcausedthe
alarm,InquisitorJa'Quinnchosetoignoreit.Tallandpreciseinmovements,Ja'Quinnstrode
withhastetowardthere-purposedconferenceroom.Goldenhairwithastrongjaw,the
Inquisitorwouldbecalledhandsomeifnotbeautiful.Ja'Quinnabsentlythumbedtheholsterof
hislas-pistolashetriedtomakesenseofhis...“guest's”story.Thenavalcrewhepassed
salutedhimalthoughothersturnedtoavoidhimwhentheysawhimcoming.Everyoneaboard
knewthathewaswiththeInquisitionandtheywereunderstandablyuncomfortable,worried
thatanymisstepwouldcauseJa'Quinntodenouncethemforheresy.Ja'Quinnignoredtherude
behaviortoo,moreconcernedwiththeproblemathand.Therewasapuzzlehere,reminding
himofthetwistedpuzzlesthathisfathermadefromscrapmetalintheunder-hiveon
Armageddon.Hefeltthatwiththerightpull,everythingwouldbecomeclear.Hejustneededto
findtherightpiece.
Enteringtheconferenceroom,Ja'Quinnsawthathisguestwasstillbeingentertainedby
Groomp.Theogrynwasloyalbeyondmeasureandequallyasstupid.Groomphadamechanical
eyethatreplacedtheonehehadlostinservicetoJa'Quinnwhichtheogrynfeltmadehim
smarter.Still,GroompwouldonlyfollowordersfromJa'Quinnhimselfandthatmadehim
reliableenoughtowatchovertheguest.
GuardsmanLeothGreywasdressedinplainworkclothes,gatheredfromthecrewoftheWings
ofJustice.Shortcroppedbrownhair,andatooyouthfulface,Greywasthepieceofthepuzzle
thatJa'Quinnneededtotwisttoday.AstheInquisitorentered,Greyrosetohisfeetand
saluted.Groompwithdrewtoacornerandbegantoeatsomethingsmellyfromhispocket.
“Guardsman,Iamfeelingtalkativetoday.IhavereviewedyourstatementsfromearlierandI
feelthatthereissomethingmissing,maybeintentionally,ormaybenot.However,Ifeelthat
givenyourintimateknowledgeofthe...incident,acertainamountofhistorymighthelpyou
remembertheseomissions.”TheInquisitorstudiedGrey,waitingtoseeifhis
speechchangedthesoldier'sdemeanor.“Yes,sir.”wasGrey'scurtreply.“Guardsman,whatI
amabouttosharewithyouissealedtothe
InquisitionandtheEmperor,mayheliveforever.Thisinformationwaspiecedtogetherwith
recordsfromtheMinistourumandfromdata-slatesthatwererecoveredfromthemoon.”
Ja'QuinnremovedaholocubefromhispouchandopenedthefiledepictingtheplanetGanesha.
TheimageprojectedfromthecubewashedtheroominorangelightcausingGroomptoglance
upfromhissnack.Thethreedimensionalimagewasnotstationary.Themoonwasslowly
orbitingtheplanet.“ThisplanetwaslosttotheImperiumforanumberofyears.Warpstorms
madethisareaofthesegmentumunreachable.Beforethat,Ganeshawasalushworldwitha
favorableclimateforcolonization.Inadditionthemoon,FMS-4711,wasripewithmineralsthat
wouldbebeneficialtotheImperium.Itwastenyearsafterthefirstcolonistsweresettledthat
thesinisterEldarbegantheirattackontheworld.Usingthelargelyignoredmoonasitsbasefor
counteroperations,theAstraMilitarumfoughttheEldartoastandstillfornearlytwentyyears.
MostoftheinitialcoloniesweredestroyedbytheXenos,butwestillhadastrongpresenceon
thesouthernhemisphereand,ofcourse,onthemoonFMS-4711.”
GreylistenedwithapparentinterestastheInquisitorrecountedthestory.Ja'Quinnhadto
believethateithertheGuardsmanhadnoknowledgeoftheseeventsorthathewasverywell
trainedindeception.“Afterthisperiodoftwentyyears,theEldarbegantoreceive
reinforcementsfromsomewhereunknownandbegantoturnthetideofthisengagement
againsttheImperium.Allseemedlost.Therecordsshowthatviciouswarpstormsoriginated
aroundthistimepreventingassistancefromtheAstartesortheImperialNavy.However,
recordsfromthemoonthatwehaverecentlydiscoveredshowthatanothersignificantevent
occurredatthesametime.AnImperialcruisercrashedintothemoon-base.Shortlyafterthis
event,Orksappearedenmasse.ThiseventruinedanychancefortheMilitarumtocontinue
operationsagainsttheEldar.Thosethatwereonthesurfaceoftheplanetwerelikelyoverrun.
TotheknowledgeoftheImperiumitself,GaneshaandFMS-4711werelost.”Greyswallowedat
thispoint,andtheInquisitornoticedatwitchinhisbluelefteye.“Lost.Until,thatis,we
receivedthedistresscall...”
*****
Deepwithinthemines,Screwbitz,theMadMeksmiled.Hehadrebuiltthehumansignal
device.StaringattheunfamiliarcharactersthatflashedacrossthescreenScrewbitzknewthat
theywouldcome.Itdidn'matterwho.Theonlythingthatmatteredwassomethingwould
come.TheKlanzgrewrestless.Krumpingthelasthumansandsmashingtherobotdefensesof
thisoldplacehadhelpedforatime,buttheMadMekknewthathisboyzwantedaproper
scrap.Thepansiesquitcomingawhilebackandthespikypansieshadrunoff.Moremachine
thanOrk,Screwbitzfilledthecontrolchamberwithhisimmensebulk.Hisnewbodywasa
visionfromGork.Builtfromsomesortofwalkingvehiclethattheboyzhadblownup,Screwbitz
nowhadfourpowerfullegstogoalongwithhisgiantKlaw.
“Impressive,greatleader.YourknowledgeofthemachinesofManisamazingtobehold...”
Screwbitzturnedtowardthespeaker.Thisraggedyhuman,withhisbigblueeyespretendedto
grovel.Heusedbigwordstotryandconfuse.TheMadMeksawthroughhisdissembling.
Suppressingtheurgetoripthespeakerinhalf,Screwbitzspoke.
“Oomie,yerwalkin'alineyadonsee.We'zalreadyfoun'darestofyerboyz,an'meladzbled
'emnice.Iwan'anserzfromye.QuestshunsIgotfo'ye.O'lyrezunyer'livenow.”Therumbling
voicesoundedliketheengineofoneofthegreatearthmovingmachinesthatthehumanshad
leftbehind.ThevoiceoftheBigMekalmostseemedtoshaketheentirechamber.Thebigblue
eyeswidened,butthegazeremainedfirm,givingawayhispretense.
“Mercy,ohGreatOne!Icanbeveryvaluable.Ihaveintimateknowledgeofthismine.Iwasa
partofthecrewhere.”
Screwbitzturnedtofacethehuman.Withaloudburstofsteam,hisKlawmovetowardthe
humandeftlygrabbingthefrontofthehuman'sshirt.Pickingthemanupwaseffortlessasthe
MadMekdrewhimtowardshismetallicface.
“Mercy?Never'erdof'im.Yergonnaansermyquestshuns.Doitrightlikeandquick,an'I'll
smashyefast.Messwifmean'I'lltossyetodasquigz.”Stillnofearintheeyes.
“Y-yes,MyLord!Ask!Please.YouwillseehowusefulIam.”“WerdarestuvdaDemonzat?”
Screwbitzsmiledagain–therewas
thefearthathadbeenmissing.“D-Demons?Id-don't...”Screwbitzhurledthehumanacross
theroom
intoastandofunknownequipment.Ashowerofsparksfannedacrosstheroomfromthe
brokenmachinery.Bloodpooledoutfromagashontheman'shead,furthermattinghisclose
croppedbrownhair.
“Notgonnabefastnow.”Screwbitzbegantoadvanceuntilmovementfromtheentryway
distractedhim.Hugebat-likewingswerevisiblefromthedoorway.Themanbegantolaugh
thoughbloodclenchedteeth.
“Nowyouwillsee!FilthyOrk!Youruinedit!Allofitwasgoingaccordingtoplan!Mymasteris
herenow...”Thehumanrosetohiskneesandstoppedashetookintherestoftheform.
Demonichornsthrustfromalargegreenface,thewingsgreenaswell.
“Boss,hetellzus?”Thecreaturespoke.Greenenergyroseoffofhisbodylikefluidfalling
upward.Hisskinseemedtoglowwiththisgreenenergy.Aredpulsingwasnoticeableinafew
spots,cracksamongstthegreen.
“Almost,”theMadMekturnedagaintowardthekneelinghuman,“Werdarestat?Me
weirdboysuriz'ungry.”Blueeyesbulgedinthehuman'sface.Hismouthseemedtobetryingto
formwords.Screwbitzlaughed,thesoundofmetalgrindingbonestodust.“Can'tfin'yer
wordz?Li'loomie.DaBludDrinkaluvseatin''arts.Demon'artsizdabestfer'im.We'zfoundda
firs'unz.Weknowzderzmore.”
“Imp-No!Youspeaklies,Ork!Theritualwillbefinished!Greenskinbloodwillsufficeformy
masters.”Thehumanroseunsteadilytohisfeet.“Ihavepower,ohyes,Ihavebeenmarkedby
mymasters.Iwillbringyoutoheel!”Themanrippedopenhisshirtrevealingastrangemark
brandedintohischest.Energybegantopulsefromtheimage.Theroombegantogrowcold.
Screwbitzlaughed.Darkpsychicenergymanifestedintoawrithingwhipthatlashedoutatthe
BigMek.Itcollidedwithagreenforce,ashieldofenergycreatedbythewingedweirdboy.The
manshriekedinfrustrationandrage,hedoubledhisefforts.Screwbitzadvanced,laughing,
enjoyingthefutilespectaclebeforehim.“Deffwillbeslowferye.”HisKlawlashedoutwith
incrediblespeed,connectingwithasquelch.Blacknesstooktheman.Thelastsoundheheard
wasScrewbitzinanalmostwhisper–“Slow.”
*****
“WhatcanyoutellusoftheOrkleader?Fromyourreport,youhaveencounteredhim?”
Ja'QuinnsawthathewasmakingGreyuncomfortable.Anothermighthavemissedthesigns.
Greywasanexcellentliar.
“HecallshimselfScrewbitz,sir.AsillynameintheOrkfashion.Hehasaugmentedhimselfwith
machinestakenfromtheEldar.Itwouldseemthathisknackforre-purposingtechnologyiswhy
hetookthemoniker.However,heisextremelydangerous.Mostofwhatwasleftbehindatthe
maindigsiteonthemoonhasbeenfashionedintoOrkweaponry.”
“Hardlyunusual,Guardsman.Orksarenotoriouslooters.”
“Indeed,sir.Thescaleatwhichhedoesthisiswhatisremarkable.Hehas...”
“Thatisnotwhatisimportant.Thequestionofhowhereplicatedthedistresssignalis.Wehave
detectedthissignalonmultiplechannels.Theauthorizationcodesneededforthiswouldbe
beyondtheunderstandingofanyOrk.”Ja'Quinnletthatsinkin.HecouldseeGrey'smind
workingfuriously,asinglebeadofsweatbegantoformabovethetooblueeyesofhisguest.
“Inquisitor,areyouimplyingthatsomeonegavehimthecodes?Thatwouldseemlesslikely
than...well,thananythingelse.ThisScrewbitzisamaniac,sir.Humanlife,oranylife,means
nothingtohim.”
“So,Guardsman,youwouldratherIassumethatthisOrkfromaback-watermoon,managed
tointerfacewithandcrackanencryptedcodesequenceusinghis...what?Luck?Superior
intellect?No,Grey.Thereisatraitorhere.Thatistheonlyexplanation.Someonebetrayedthe
ImperiumandtheEmperor,mayheliveforever,justtosavetheirownsorryskin.”
Greywasstill.HecouldseewhatJa'Quinnmeant.“Sir.Siryouaremistaken.I...survivedmy
encounterwiththatbeastbyluck.Idon'tknowthecodesneededtosendthesignal.I...Iam
not...”
“Enough.Youaregoodatthegameofsecrets,Grey.Iambetter.”Ja'QuinngesturedtoGroomp
andtheogrynmovedfromhiscorner.“ThereissomethingyouarehidingfrommeandImean
tohaveit.”
Grey'sheadswiveledbetweentheInquisitorandGroomp.Hismovementswerethoseofa
corneredanimal.“Sir.Sir...youmust,Sir!”Theklaxoncametolifeagain,itssounddrowning
outGrey'spanickedbreaths.Suddenlytheshiplurched.Gravitychangeddirectionandthe
Guardsman
wasflungtowardtheroof.Groompputoneofhismassivehandsagainsttheceilingandstayed
put,bracinghimselfandgrabbingJa'Quinnoutofmidair.Justasabruptlygravitywasrestored
andGreywasslammedbacktotheground.
“Itappearsourfriendhasfainted,Groomp.Tiehimup.Ifhespeakstoyouwithoutmehere,
knockhimoutagain.Ineedtoassesthesituation.”
*****
“Itissomesortofmassivetractorbeam,Inquisitor.Comingfromthemoon.Itisnotstrong
enoughtopullusin,butifwemaintainourcurrentdistance,thingscouldgetbumpy.”The
Captainwasresplendentinhisuniform.Hissnowwhitehairwasperfectlymanicuredforhis
rank.MoredirectthanmostwhendealingwithanagentoftheInquisition,CaptainEdwards
wasaseasonedveteranwiththeNavy.Asiftopunctuatehisstatementstheklaxonflaredto
lifeoncemore,abriefwarningbeforethetractorbeamshooktheship.
“Well,Captain.Iwouldnotliketoseeanysignificantdamagetoyourvessel.Iwillneeda
shuttle.Youwilltraveltoasaferdistanceandbroadcastamessageforme.”Ja'Quinnhanded
Edwardsadata-slate.
“Youaregoingdownthere?Howmanyofmymendoyouneed?”
Ja'Quinnsmiled.ThisEdwardswasabrightspotinthismess.Acommendationletterwouldbe
required.“Onlyone.Asecondarypilotfortheshuttle.Ihavemyowntoassistwitheverything
else.Makesureheissteady,Captain.”
CaptainEdwardssaluted,“I'llhaveone,Inquisitor.”*****
“Wakeup,heretic.”Greyopenedhiseyes.ThefamiliarbrownishblueoftheskyonFMS–
4711greetedhim.Theconstantduststormswereblowinginfull.Grimewascakedtohiseyes
andlips.Greylookedaroundandnoticedtheshuttle.The
largeogrynwasnearbywatchinghim.TheInquisitorwasdiscussingsomethingwithacrewman.
“Youmissedplanet-fall.Sleptlikeababyrightthroughit.Mustbenicetohavesuchaclear
conscience.Orisitaconcussion?”
Thespeakerwasawoman.Dressedingrayandbrownfatigues,shealmostseemedtoblend
intothesurroundingwithouttrying.Nohairwasvisibleunderhertightwrappedheadgear.
Goggleshidhereyesbutherskinwaspalearoundhermouth.Despitethecamogearshewas
wearing,thefigurewasdistinctlyfemale.Onlyafoolwouldfailtonotice.Greydecidednotto
answer.Bidinghistimeseemedbest.
“Mostlikelyaconcussion,”Ja'Quinncalledoverhisshoulder.“Wehavenotimeforhisinjuries
now.Hehasoneroletoplay.”
Grey'smindspun.Role?Whatisthisdamnedfooltalkingabout?TheInquisitorhadnoidea
howfaroffthemarkhewas.ThosedamnedOrks!Theyruinedeverything.Thegatewasclose,
hisbrothershadturnedthemajorityoftherankstotheircause.TheEldarandtheirDark
brethrenhadtheforcesonGeneshaallbutdefeated.Theritualtosummonthewarpstorms
hadbeenasuccess.Thenoutofnowhere,theseOrksattackedthemoon.Yearsofplanning
destroyedbythesefilthyaliens.
“Youhavesecretsstill,Guardsman.Iseethepanicinyourface.Youarewelltrained.However,
thispuzzleisgettingmoreinterestingthemoreIdig.”Ja'Quinnpulledarolled-upparchment
fromhisbag.“ThisIreceivedasagift.Itwasstrangetocomeacrossitonmyfirstvisittothis
moon,whenIscoopedyouup,Grey.MyfirstvisitIwasgiventhisandIhadnoideawhatitwas.
Well,Iknewwhatitwas,justnotthecontext.”TheInquisitorbegantounrollthebundle.It
lookedmorelikethinleatherthanparchment,cracksanddriedbloodalongthebackside.Ashe
finished,Ja'Quinnshowedhimtheskin.ThemarkofChaosbrandeddeep.
Greyclutchedhischest.Impossible!ThewomanreachedoverandtoreopenGrey'sshirt
revealingthescarredflesh.ThedeepwoundswherehehadbeenskinnedbyScrewbitznow
visible.Thepainandmemoriescameback.Thestrangelaughingmedic,keepinghimawake
whilethemonsterdidhiswork.Greyfeltthemachineinsidehim.Themechanicalheartthat
Screwbitzhadplacedinsidehisbodytokeephimaliveburned.HerememberedtheBludDrinka
laughingwhileitatehisrealheart.“NomorDemonzlef,yurz'illdo.”HowcouldthisInquisitor
havegottenthatskin?
Footstepslikethunder.Overtheridgehesaw.ScrewbitzfollowedbyahostofOrks.His
machinebodyspewingsmokeandsteam.Theogryngrewtense.Thecrewmanrushedback
ontotheshuttle.Ja'Quinnwasunfazed.
“SoyouaretheBoss,then?Screwbitz?”Ja'Quinnaskedofthemassivemetalmonster.
“Dazright,IbeDaMadMek,Screwbitz!”HundredsofOrkvoicestookuptheenergy,
“Screwbitz!Screwbitz!”Afewshottheirweaponsintotheair.“Gotmepresent?Good.Inew
uzeoomieswudlikedatone.I'adfunmeself.”
“Whygivemethis?Whydidyouletthisonelive?”
“EezaDemonluvin'oomie,datone.Planin'tobringallsortsof'em'ere.Gotzhiztemple,hiz
ladz,evenacoupleactualDemonz!Deylivin'inmecaveztillmyladzsmashed'em!,”More
cheersandgunfire.“Datone,Isayzhegonnadierealslow.Iskinzhim.Itakezhiz'art.DenIfix
'imupgud.Eezaliar,gudun.Isayztomehowtamake'imreallyreallysuffa?Give'imbackto
daoomies!”HideouslaughterechoedfromahundredOrkvoices.
“Onemorething,Screwbitz,howdidyoucrackthecodesforthedistresssignal?”
Thelaughterstopped.Amechanicaleye,akintotheoneGroompwore,whirredandrefocused.
ScrewbitzmovedhismassivebulktowardJa'Quinn.Quietly,likethehumofthewarpdriveback
ontheWingsofJustice,“Iizvery,verysmart,Ja'Quinn.YougotBigBossBludFisttocome'ere.
Youwasplannin'onusladzkrumpindeesDemonluvas.BludFistgotKrumped.Screwbitzizda
bossnow.Yewashopin'myboyzwouldbuyyetime.Well,wesmashedyerproblem,andden
wegotbored.Daplanetdowndereizfulluvscrappinan'Iwantin.SozIsayz,ifnoonecomez
'ere,wecan'tgofightdere.SoIneedshipztocome'ere.”Screwbitzsmiled,ahorridrictuswith
hismassivemetaljaw.“Urdone'ere,Ja'Quinn.Gitoffmemoon'lessIchangememine.”
Greywasstunned.TheOrkswerebroughtherebyJa'Quinn?TheInquisitionknewtheirplan?
“Wait!Thiswasplanned?Youknewallalong?”
Ja'Quinnturnedbacktotheshuttle,“Thewarpstormspreventedthearrivalofthefleetmeant
todestroyyourattemptedincursion.Ihadtoseekothermethodstosavethisarea.”
“Save?Youdoomedthissystem!Doyouseethemonsteryoucreated,Inquisitor?Xenos?You
areasmuchofahereticasI!You...”Ja'Quinn'slas-pistolsilencedGreyforever.Screwbitz
laughed;alandslide.
“Iwuzwantin''imtosuffamor!”
Ja'Quinn'sretinueboardedtheshuttle,“Screwbitz.TheMadMek.Afittingname.”
*****
Transmission: Inquisitional report from Ja'Quinn of the Ordo Xenos
Betram. A new player in the game. FMS – 4711 a moon orbiting the disputed planet Genesha, is now home to a gathering force of Orks. Their leader calls himself Screwbitz. He is very cunning for his race and is determined to leave the moon and become entwined in the battle for Ganesha. Looks like it could be the start of something big. This Ork is responsible for the activation of distress beacon 93- 1979. Also, it would seem that these Orks dealt with the other issue for us. I would advise avoiding the area for the time being. Other Xenos will likely be drawn to the signal as well as rogue traders in the area looking for wealth. We still need to observe. Also recommend written commendation for Captain Lucas Edwards of the Wings of Justice. Praise to the Emperor, may he live forever.