Enticing Newcomersto Talk at Meetings

Matt Frank

Techniques for Enticing Newcomers to Talk at Meetings(a presentation with partner activites—find a partner you don't know well)

IntroductionIn a meeting: do this italicized thing.For this session: do this italicized thing with your partner to simulate the newcomer experience.

I use these in face-to-face meetings in New York, usually Friday night meetings with 10-12 people.We'll simulate some techniques for:

the opening statementan exercise on the board (e.g. an ABC)a written exercise (e.g. a CBA)

The Opening StatementIn a meeting: each person reads one paragraph of a statement and passes it to the next person.For this session: alternate reading by sentences.We encourage discussion after the check-in has

been completed. Make comments freely, but keep them in line with the topic of discussion.Please be respectful to everyone in the room. If you are under the influence, you are welcome to stay, but we ask that you only observe the meeting.

The Opening Statement –why like this for newcomers?

Let people hear their own voice and other voicesGive people occasion to interact with others near themEstablish ground rules

Exercise on the Board (ABC)In a meeting: ask a newcomer questions C & B; ask other participants question E.For this session: one person answers C & B; one person answers E; then switch roles & repeat.

C: What did you do and then regret in the past week?B: What thoughts were you thinking when you did it?E: What are some alternatives to the beliefs there?

Exercise on the Board –why like this for newcomers?

An ABC is a difficult exercise, and a newcomer is unlikely to do it well without feedback.The D's and E's are the hardest parts of an ABC.This lets the advice come from someone not the facilitator.

Written Exercise (CBA) In a meeting: ask people to fill out a worksheet, then ask if they'd like to share. For this session: write down your answers to these questions, then share if you like.What are/were the costs of giving up your

addictive behavior?What techniques do you have for dealing with these costs?

Written Exercise –why like this for newcomers?

Newcomers may need time to think of what to say.Newcomers may find it easier to talk from a script. ("What do you have written down?")This gives an opportunity to say "who wants to share?" and "who haven't we heard from yet?"

ConclusionThese techniques are good for enticing old-timers to speak too, but that is usually less of an issue.What newcomers say is usually more vivid than what old-timers say, so it can generate good discussion.These are all techniques for the facilitator to talk less, to help participants make their own choices.

Unrelated: new meeting on SMBs!

Meeting with focus on Sexual Maladaptive Behaviors Voice Meeting Room, Sundays 6pm Eastern

People in the SMB forum wanted this kind of meeting – discussing these issues in open meetings can make both the people with SMBs and others uncomfortable.People with other principal issues often appreciate the chance to discuss sexual aspects of those issues.Key topic so far: what behavior is maladaptive?

mattfrank04@gmail.com

Thanks!