En 06 Between Life and Death eBook

7/29/2019 En 06 Between Life and Death eBook

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Jozef Rulof

Between

Life and Dead

www.TheAgeOfChrist.com


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Between Life and Death

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Jozef Rulof


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Picture on the cover is a painting received by Jozef Rulof from theBeyond: The Temple of Isis.

From the original in Dutch: Tussen Leven en Dood.In the Netherlands the first edition of this book was published in1941.

Copyright 2008. Reserved for the Society for Spiritual ScienceFoundation The Age of Christ, Apeldoorn, the Netherlands.www.TheAgeOfChrist.com

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system,or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical,printing, photocopying, microfilm, or be translated into any otherlanguage without prior written permission from the publisher.

Between Life and Death

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CONTENTS

Page

My parents and my youth on earth. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

7Possession . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17The death of my parents . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32My preparation for priesthood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48My first lessons in concentration . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58My unconscious other self . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71Lessons in concentration . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 74The first test . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76

My Mother . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 88Sleep . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99Our spiritual wall . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 104My first conscious disembodiment by concentration of will . . . . . 111My first conscious spiritual walk at Isis . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 116Dectars yearning, My mother . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119The second test . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 133

The secret powers of Isis . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 137Dectars many lives . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 148My leader . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 154The astral walls of Isis I received my weapon . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 159Dectars lame wing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 167My previous life. Lyra and Lecca. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 173My Father and Mother . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 186In the darkness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 196Dectars great healing gift . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 213My physical gifts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 225Great healers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 232I got to know death . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 236In the darkness again, my consciousness was tested . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 256

At the court of the Pharaoh . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 272Lyra. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 279

The meadow . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 288My physical gifts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 296The psychic sessions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 305New sessions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 328

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The new laws of Isis . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 334The death of Iseues . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 336The end of the Temple of Isis . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 339

New lives. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

346My reincarnation on earth . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 348My yearning for the invisible life . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 352The mystery of life and death . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 358My father . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 360

A leader . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 368My death, Carma. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 386

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CHAPTER 1

My parents and my youth on earth

It was bestowed on me to tell you about my parents and my lifeon earth. To this end, I take you to ancient Egypt, to thesurroundings of Memphis. It is a lovely place and nature is beau-

tiful there. I would like to show you the house of my parents where Iwas born and invite you to come with me.

My father loved nature very much and was fond of everythingbelonging to life. He was a man of sentiment, convinced of the mira-

cles and forces in creation, besides, he was a naturalist and a verypious and sensitive human. What he observed in nature meant aprayer to him; that is what he felt and experienced in the plant worldand animal kingdom. Our home was like a paradise. In every cornerof the house there were plants and flowers which he cultivated.Moreover, there were many cages with beautiful birds.

When he was caring for his children, as he called them, he some-

times spoke very earnestly to me and told about the miracles ofnature, now and then he descended with me into that wonderful

world. Then he tried to explain to me how flowers and plants awak-ened and grew, and every species was created. But above all, hepointed out how mighty nature is, and how he himself spoke to theinner life of animals and plants.

You see, Venry, I speak to my children and they listen. I feel theirdesire to live and grow, but I must know and be able to understand

when they are hungry and thirsty, or they will return to their ownFather, whom they love more than me.

How are you so sure that they have got a Father too?Do you think, he answered, that anything is born without His

help?Whom do you mean, Father?Then, full of happiness and like a grown-up child he said to me:

I mean Amon-R, our God, the God of all life, of the sun, themoon, the stars, of trees, flowers and animals, but especially yourGod, mine and your mothers. The smallest insect to the wildanimal, the God of light and darkness, of stillness and thunderstorm,

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of the glorious heaven and of the earth we live on, who knows andloves us and who will call us to Him one day. Then, dear Venry,I shall humbly bow before Him and He will ask, Did you, Ardaty,

give My life to which it is entitled? That is why I do my best, Venry,to nourish all this life and to tend it so that the Gods will be mercifulto me.

I looked up at my Father and asked: You talk of one God and ofGods?

Yes, my boy, I know Amon-R and there are Gods. I do notknow how other people feel about this.

I bowed my head for his eyes were shining with a strong light,

which I could not bear.After a little while I dared to look at him again and he smiled at

me, but I went to my beloved Mother. I asked her sternly becausefeelings of rebellion, impotence and misunderstanding came intome: Who is my Father, Mother? He speaks of one supreme Godand of Gods.

But, Venry, how can you ask such pointed questions? Why are

you so short-spoken? You look hot-tempered.I meant no harm, Mother, but Father just told me of his God.

Do you know his God, Mother?My Mother looked at me very seriously and said: The things,

dear Venry, your Father talks about are deep in his soul. It is a voice,which comes to him from stillness and far regions. He hears andknows that voice. I know, my boy, that your Father is blessed by thatpower. He calls it his God. His God, dear Venry, can bring ussunlight, make the wind blow, and irrigate our gardens and fields.

Your Father sees that power grow and flourish and it lives in him, inyou and in me, in animals, plants, and everything alive. He hasknown for a long time how flowers awake, why birds sing when theirlittle stomachs are filled so that their singing rises to higher regionsand even to where the Gods are.

I thought all this over for a long time and asked: Is God visible,

Mother?He certainly is, Venry, and you will learn that, for all people will

get to know Him. You must be very attentive, maybe you will seeHim very soon.

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You talk like Father, but who taught you both to speak the way youdo?

Listen, dear Venry. In this beautiful country, there was once a

priest who taught people about invisible things. He told about natureand the workings of God and from him your Father learned a lot.And did Father also learn from writings?No, dear Venry, from nature and nature alone and from the

miracles belonging to life.But did the priest also know why birds mostly sing in the morn-

ing and the evening, Mother? Would Father know this?You may ask him, he will no doubt answer.

Do you believe in that priest and Fathers God?Dear Venry, why should I not? Are not the wonders of God in

ourselves?I reflected on all this and asked: You love Father very much, do

you not, Mother?Yes, Venry, and you must love him very much too.I went back to my Father.

Mother says that you spoke with a very learned priest and thatyou were allowed to ask him questions. Did you ask him why birdssing so much in the evening and in the morning?

My Father looked at me with his shining eyes and said: You see,dear Venry, that is very simple. Birds sing in the morning becausethey slept well that night and are still alive; but in the evening, theysing in gratitude because they had so much food that day. Then theyare happy and gay and thank God for everything.

Then, Father, do they know there is a God? Are they able tothink and feel the way we do and thank and pray?

My Father looked very seriously at me and answered:Considering your age you are very wise, Venry, but listen: all life onearth belongs to the Gods, however, it lives in its own world from

which each life thanks its own God. The birds and all other animals,the flowers and plants, as well as the fishes you see here, belong to it.

In their own way they thank God. The birds sing and in this singinglies their prayer.

And the flowers and plants, Father?I told you, they all pray and thank. You cannot hear the flowers,

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and you will only learn that when you are older.Have they got ears like we have, Father, and can you hear them speak?

Again he looked at me in a loving way.

Come over to me, Venry, and listen.He held a flower close to my ear.Do you hear anything?I listened very carefully.No, Father, I hear nothing.Listen well, Venry, and wait till it starts talking to the other flowers.I waited but heard nothing.Can fish talk, Father?

Certainly they can, he answered.Do they talk when we cannot hear them or do not pay attention?Yes, Venry, precisely when we do not pay attention.And do they also listen to what I want, Father?Now he looked into my soul.What do you mean, Venry?I asked whether they listen to me, Father, to what I want.

He made no reply and went to my Mother.When he had apparently finished talking something over with my

Mother, he came back to me.Now did you hear the flowers talk, Venry?I pretended that I had not heard him and asked: When fish jump

out of the water, Father, are they happy and is that their singing,thanking and praying?

He smiled at me.Yes, it usually is.And are the fish older than the flowers and birds?No, he said, they are equally old.Now I asked him very sternly again: How can you be so sure of

that?Without answering, he went over to my Mother, as if he had

something to do and spoke to her.

I flew into a rage because he did not answer. I went out into thefields and stayed away for quite some time. My wrath subsided.

Another time I asked my Father questions about other subjects andsuddenly I became so angry that he looked at me in bewilderment

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and asked: What is the matter, Venry, did I do or say somethingwrong?

I did not reply and ran out of the house. Only late in the evening

did I come home. My Father wanted to know why I had suddenlyrun away but I could not answer him, as I did not understand myselfwhy I flew into a rage, time and again.

I growled at him: I dont know. Leave me alone.Again he was startled, for this was not the way a child should

answer, and I really never did. He gave me a long and searching look,but let it pass. The next day I was myself again and forgot about it.But whenever I asked him a question, I flew into a rage, for I felt that

he did not give me a clear answer.And so my first years passed and I grew up. Time and again,

I asked other questions and tried to speak with nature, as Father did.I got to know various particulars about nature until my youth wascruelly disturbed.

One day I walked with my Father in our gardens and asked allsorts of questions, and once again, I got unsatisfactory answers.

At the same moment an unknown power which was much strongerthan I, forced me to go away.

I ran away as if something terrible was hot on my heels. Whatspurred me on I did not know but it came from within me like aterrible temper. These inexplicable feelings tore me away from myparents whom I loved very dearly.

Then I wandered through the fields and repeatedly tried to speakto life in nature. But the language I spoke did not seem to be theright one, for life did not hear me or, apparently failed to understand

what I meant, however hard I tried.I had caught beautiful little fish and I played with them in my own

way. I picked out some of them, I wanted them to obey me andaccept that I was their master. And however strange it may seemI could often do with them what I wanted.

For hours I practised and forced them to do something or other.

If I wanted them to lie still they were not able to move a fin andstayed where they were.

I showed this trick to my friends, for I wanted to know whetherthey could do it, too, but they could not. However hard they tried to

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achieve this, they failed.What this meant, and why I could do it, I was quite unable to explain.

I did not feel like talking it over with my parents. There were other

powers in me and I kept them scrupulously for myself.When I had fallen asleep, I departed from my material body. I wasthen able to speak to nature, and I was as it were one and united

with it, living at the same time in another world. From that world Iwalked in my Fathers gardens and felt the life of flowers and plantscome over me. In that world I could go where I wanted. My materialbody was asleep and I was outside it. Because of this I understoodthat I really possessed two bodies, and that the one I now used

belonged to that other world.I floated through the mighty universe and there, in that space or

world, I saw people who lived there and who were like the materialhumans on earth, but they were all winged.

Some of them were shining and probably belonged to the Gods.I just did not understand why other people like my Father andMother did not tell me about them. However, I also understood that

it meant something particular, which I alone experienced and knew;but only when I was asleep could I depart from my body. Moreover,I knew exactly when this would happen. Curious feelings troubledme beforehand. I felt a cold stream, which made my whole bodyquiver and then I fell asleep out of tiredness.

When I was very tired these feelings were not so intense and I wassoon able to start my nocturnal journey. The very first journey Imade was departing from my body and entering it. When I experi-enced this wonder I was wide-awake in the spirit, in that other worldand looked into that mighty space where I found that it was alwayslight. I left and entered my body and could clearly observe it.Carefully I went higher and higher, right through the roof of myparental home and into space. After a longer or shorter period Ireturned to my material body and knew where I had been.

After these nocturnal journeys and experiences, I did not feel

anything unusual for a length of time. I had got to know that otherworld. Then I began to yearn for being allowed to go far away, farfrom my surroundings, through the material things on earth. Noman on earth can penetrate through material objects and do what I

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could. When I experienced all these strange and curious things I veryoften spoke with my Father. Through these discussions I learned,young as I was, that even he did not know everything about life.

One day I said to him: You talk about the wonders of God butare you convinced that that is all?Of course, he looked at me in amazement and went away again.

I did not dare to follow him, but guessed where he went. He lookedfor my Mother and I presumed that he told her of my question, butI could not understand what they were talking about and that mademe very angry.

These strong feelings always came quite unexpectedly and sponta-

neously, whereupon I acted. Now I looked for a possibility to over-hear their conversation should this happen again.

Our home was detached; and around it there was a large gardendivided into many small ones. There were several kinds of flowersand a great many herbs and trees which meant very much to myFather. Because of his knowledge of nature, he tended the gardens ofthe Temple of Isis, which he supplied with plants, herbs, flowers,

and fruits. He was a master in horticulture.It was my intention to eavesdrop on them behind the house, to the

left and to the right and from the place where I slept. But thesethoughts too had recently and quite unexpectedly come to me, as

well as a lot of other thoughts and feelings.I felt that I hated them, however young I was. I really did not

know why I did so. Sometimes a terrible force and rage beset mewhen my Father talked about his own God, the things and wondersin nature, the fruits and flowers and the vigour of herbs or when hedid not give me a satisfactory answer.

His confidence in respect of all these natural wonders urged me onto hate him even more. As I grew older and we clashed repeatedlymy feelings of hatred became stronger and more intense.

When this hate entered me I at once felt that cold stream passingover me, it was as if a force beyond my control urged me to hate my

parents. In view of my youth, those feelings and terrible thoughtscould not emanate from my inner life. I had reached the age of four-teen, within me there was a deep and natural feeling, and I oftenunderstood what my Father was talking about.

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Then I figured it out. I had thought everything over, compared itwith my own experiences and felt that he spoke like an earthly being,and, it is true, he had a highly developed feeling and a strong faith,

but knew nothing of my own experiences. I began to feel and under-stand why I could suddenly hate as only fully conscious grown-uppeople can.

Sometimes I could hate and even curse what belonged to them,their inner life and their love. It arose suddenly in me and becameconstantly stronger. In feeling one thought after another entered meand dominated mine. I had to feel, follow and listen to them,

whether I wanted to or not. On the other hand, I began to under-

stand why I obeyed them. Those thoughts gave me power andstrength, which was quite clear to me. Yet, I did not want to have allthese terrible feelings for they frightened me.

How all these devilish thoughts came to me I did not learn untillater, when I got to know myself and the forces of my hatred, alsomy disembodiment. My parents fell victim, for it was endeavouredto destroy their happiness and even their lives by making me revolt;

my gifts were operated on their feelings of love.When I asked my Father: You talk about the miracles of your

God, but are you sure that is all? he instinctively felt what I meant,though he thought this and all the other questions strange, particu-larly, because I repeatedly came to him with such questions.

However, when he came to me and said: Come on, dear Venry,we are going to gather fruits and you may pick out the nicest foryourself, my feelings of hatred and rage disappeared instantly; I wasa normal child again. His words of open-heartiness and loverepressed the horrible thoughts I suffered and made me a normalchild again. We were entirely one and nothing then disturbed ourharmony; I fully understood my parents and was as other childrencan be, obedient and devoted to my parents.

Sometimes weeks and months passed when I was peaceful; mysleep was quite normal and I stayed in my own body. How these

feelings of hate suddenly came over me remained a mystery to me; itwas as if a flash of lightning from the sky hit me.

When I followed my Father when he sent my Mother his deepfeelings I was first overcome by an unnatural warmth, but after that

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warmth I became cold as ice. Subsequently that terrible hatred camein me so that I had to bite my lips to stop the words, feelings, andthoughts arising in me, for I would have called them all sorts of

names. If they let me have my own way, however, that hatred,warmth and cold subsided in me, and I became my normal selfagain.

When he did not answer me or was busy with his animals hebrought me into that unnatural condition, and it made my hatredflare up, as a result of which I ran out of the house into the open.

After hours and sometimes even at night, I returned home. In theend my Father talked the matter over with the High priest who sent

for me.In the Temple of Isis I was taken to a room and told to rest. What

the priests did to me I do not know. I soon fell asleep and experi-enced a new journey. After I had departed from my body I walkedaround the gardens, picked flowers, and spoke to the birds and otheranimals, which were walking around in the open field. Some of themcould see me in that other world and I found that my love for all that

life remained unchanged in that respect. Next I went into the othergardens, for there were many near the Temple of Isis. The priestscultivated their herbs, plants and fruit trees.

While walking around, I saw a girl coming up to me who wasstrolling about in the same condition. I asked her where she camefrom and what she was doing near the Temple and she replied:I have come to greet you and tell you my name. I am Lyra. What isyour name?

I am Venry, I said. Suddenly an enormous power entered me, Iwas lifted into a quite different consciousness, and I asked: Do youfeel, Lyra, how I am now? That I have been waiting for manycenturies? Am I allowed now to see you?

When I wanted to take both her hands into mine and kiss her shesaid to me: You are now speaking as if you are very old and old youare indeed, but you may only see me. The consciousness in which

you live now has been awakened for I know that you are muchyounger. You can speak now as a grown-up human and I also knowthat you belong to me; we are both one in everything and well meetagain, for he says so.

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When I wanted to ask her who he was, she faded away before myeyes and disappeared. The situation I lived in also faded; and when I

woke up a priest stood beside my bed. He invited me to follow him

and took me to my parents.I was not allowed to be present during their conversation, but Inow knew a place where I could listen in on them.

The priest said to my parents: Believe me, dear Ardaty, your childis highly gifted. In due time we shall come to fetch him and teachhim the things he needs. We were able to follow his spirit anddiscovered gifts in him, which will give your son the great wings. Ihave freed him from the evil influences and you must take good care

of him. In a years time he can be trained for priesthood and we shalldevelop his gifts.

This was not all he said, but I could not understand it, and then hewent away. I also left and only returned to my parents hours later.Now I was myself again.

Months passed. My Father told me about nature, but I did not tellhim anything about my own secret. I noticed, however, that my

parents talked about it, but in a whispering voice since they hadcaught me eavesdropping.

After some time I made nocturnal journeys again. I had a vaguerecollection of meeting that girl and it was as if I had dreamt it. Onenight, however, I met him who urged me on to do all these terriblethings and who caused my hatred against my parents. The priestshelp turned out to be inadequate.

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CHAPTER 2

Possession

One day I went along with some boys to the Nile to bathe.

We played in the water all afternoon until sundown. Thenwe went back home and I had to answer the many ques-

tions my parents asked. After dinner, they went for a walk in thegardens. On their return, I was put to bed and that very moment Ifelt something strange coming over me, as a result of which I fell fastasleep and no longer was aware of anything.

After a while I began my journey to that other world. Soon I wasfar away from my material body and drifted again in that mightyspace. My rested body was fast asleep, but I was fully conscious andlived in another world. I met many people, who had wings like me. Iheard them speak, they even smiled at me, which did me good andmade me happy, but they went their own way.

When I departed from my material body and travelled, I felt

grown up, because a higher consciousness entered me, and I couldthink and feel like adult people. My youthful age dissolvedcompletely.

I fully understood the naturalness of this phenomenon and I wasconvinced of the possibility; it was wonderful. However, I did notknow yet why I so suddenly accepted that grown-up condition or

where it came from. Also in my material body, in which I was still achild, that power sometimes manifested itself and forced itself on meas the awareness of an adult. I got to know that force, it was apersonality.

While floating on I suddenly felt something nearing from behind;turning around I saw a human being who said to me: Hello,Venry.

At once I asked: Do you know me and who are you?I am your friend, Venry, and have known you for a long time.

Where do you know me from?From this world, from where you live now and from the past.I looked at him but felt that he deceived me and I answered:

I hate you for youre lying. I hate you and your thoughts. It was you

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who turned me into an unnatural child.I did not immediately understand the strange phenomenon I

experienced, but I read this knowledge from his soul and being.

It however did not disturb him in the least.Is it not great, Venry, to be able to think and feel as an adultperson? Come on, Venry, you should not be angry with me for I giveyou the strength to understand a great many things you can notunderstand yourself. You should not talk to me the way you do, youare very ungrateful.

As he talked to me, I understood the meaning of his entire beingand the purpose of his coming. In my mind, one scene followed the

other and I saw what he wanted. At this moment I saw who he was;he had been a priest and had loved my Mother. He wanted topossess that love from his world, if necessary by force, and he tried toachieve this through me. I felt even more in him, but that remainedinvisible to me. Then I saw my parents past.

My Mother had been a priestess. Through him I came to myparents, but around them lay a dense haze. This concealed a big

secret, which I clearly felt. However, I could not see through it.In this dense haze I saw three people. He apparently felt this andsmiled. He who had come to me had something to do with myparents. As a priest he had known my parents and loved my Mother,but his love was not answered. She despised him. In My Father shehad found a good and honest husband.

This terrible man, who had come up to me and under whoseinfluence and will I had been for a good length of time, who hadturned me into what I now was on earth, wanted to destroy thehappiness of my parents from his world. I saw all this quite clearly,but I despised and hated this human being and wanted him to go.I heard his howls of derision.

You see, Venry, I permit you to know everything about me.The gifts you have I should have had on earth, then, believe me,everything would have been different. They would not have been

ahead of me and I would still be living there. Perhaps I would havebeen allowed to take her, who is now your Mother, into my armsand enjoy the caresses your Father now receives.

As he talked about my Father, he uttered a satanic laughter, which

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hurt me deeply.Why do you scoff at my Father?He ignored my question and went on: I will break those hearts;

I shall teach your Father to deceive me, for here I am as free as a birdin the air. And you see, Venry, that I can find and reach you, besidesI can do what I please.

I cursed him and looked at this terrible man. I defied his look andfelt he had no power over me any more; there was another power inthis space, which guarded me and was stronger than he; although hecould still reach me. I had to experience all this. Maybe this occur-rence was of great importance. Silently I prayed and hoped to receive

help, I called for my Father. He felt it, what then happened to mewas so terrible and hideous that it sent me down to my material bodyas fast as greased lightning. I plunged back into my body with aswiftness of a star shooting through space, and I woke up.

When I opened my eyes my parents stood beside me. My heartleapt into my mouth and my whole body shivered and trembled

with horror. I felt very sorry for my parents, but a moment later this

feeling faded away. Now I was myself and not myself, I felt outsideand within my own body. I never experienced anything similar.

Yet, I was able to observe everything, watched my own body, andsaw that my eyes were searching my Fathers and he apparently couldnot resist mine. I now lived in an inexplicable condition. We kept onlooking at each other. My Mother followed what happened.

I saw that my face was like a mask. My own face seemed to havepartially dissolved. Now I came under the influence of a strange will,

which was terribly strong. It wanted me to hate my Father andwould submit him to my will.

If I submitted willingly, though I strongly resisted, this power didwith me what it wanted and could reach my Father. I was aware ofall these powers, and still felt myself. My Mother felt this terriblefight and collapsed. My Father carried her away and then returned tome. He took a cloth, moistened it, and wrapped me in it. Why he

did so I did not understand, but I felt that he had prepared himselffor this event and had been warned by the priest. I heard him speakto the other human being within me: You rascal, stealer of happi-ness, thief of vitality, defiler of priesthood, you dark soul, demon,

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leave this child, get out or I will call God.I, who witnessed all this, underwent his curses and profanities only

partly. I was present and yet so very far away, though I could hear

my Father speak quite near me. The person I had spoken to in space,whose life I had got to know, and who seemed to possess powersunknown to my parents, I did not see, though he was present.

The day on earth went by, night had come. While my Fathercursed him again, which confirmed what I knew, that is, that heknew this human being, I passed through the walls and to the roomof my parents. Apparently my Mother had been resting all the time.I saw that she recovered consciousness, got out of bed, and began to

pray. From that other world I looked down at her and perceived howgreat she was. She left and went to my Father. My Father had mean-

while stopped cursing, and I approached them. I descended into myMother, she felt her heart beat violently and a quiver seized her.She cried for help and collapsed again. It startled me in my world,and a strong sense of compassion drew me into my own body. MyFather took her away again.

I heard a terrible laughter, and a demonic voice uttering curses,which only I heard, but which were meant for my Father. However,he did not hear them.

Then I heard a voice which penetrated deep into my soul say:I will be back, I shall keep coming back, for I do not give up.She belongs to me, Ardaty, only to me.

Again I heard his demonic laughter, which subsequently died awayand I fell into a deep and natural sleep. Shortly after, my souldeparted from the earthly body once more, and I moved.

I heard my Father say: Venry is quietly asleep now. Today I shallgo to Dectar and tell him everything. Go to sleep now, I will stay

with our Venry for a while. Pray for him, Mother, your ardentprayer has freed him.

My Mother was conscious again. I departed from my body andthese surroundings and floated towards a region I knew well. It was

as if someone called me. I saw myself transferred to a peaceful andbeautiful green lawn, in a wonderful landscape, and there I met Lyra.Really, I thought, Lyra called for me. When she saw me she jumpedup and greeted me.

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From afar she called: Hello, my dear Venry, as you see, when weare in trouble another power brings us together. Just now you werein the hands of a devil.

Who told you that?He told me, Venry, he who helps me and will help you too.We are spiritually connected and will remain so for a good length oftime, but then our ways will part, he said. I see and know now what

we once did.Who gave you this truth and who is he?The same way you receive it.And do you see this human being, Lyra?

No, I cannot see him, all I have to do is to implore and callhim and he will come.

Is he a man?I think so, Venry, and a good man; he says he is my leader.Can you rely on that?Yes, certainly, for he is coming for me in my dreams. I then

disembody as you experience and float through this space. In this

place, he made me familiar with the flowers, the colours, and every-thing for these surroundings. From him I learned that there isanother world in which people live who died on earth. Where allthese people are I dont know, so far I have not met anybody.Nevertheless, there are lots of them here. Maybe I am not yetallowed to see them.

Oh, I said, I have met a great many people. But tell me, Lyra,how do you know me so well?

I know through him that you were my master sometime, andalso my lover. You are mine and belong to me forever. I know, dearVenry, that we belonged together once.

Do you know all this from him?When I have disembodied I become aware of it as a matter of fact.Are you old or young?Very old, Venry. Our bodies are both very young, but this

wisdom descends from our deep inner life, though we are still chil-dren. Those who cannot experience this, Venry, do not believe it.These feelings tell me that I was once your wife. We were torn apart,tortured, and cursed, but we also killed others. I do not know

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whether it is His will that we now meet again; it is not clear to me.Neither do I know whether we get this love back. However, there is afeeling in me, dear Venry, which tells me that we shall meet again.

We shall then receive the mightiest love our heart will be craving for.It will be wonderful like the depth of the space we are now in.Have you been able to ask more, Lyra?Yes, Venry, I asked him why he brought me to you.And what was his reply?He said: I am your leader and will be so for the time being.

You should know, Lyra, that I know both of you. I guard and will goon doing so. The one whom you will meet will become a priest and

you a priestess. The two of you are one and will remain one. I cannottell you anymore yet. No harm can be done to you or to him, dearLyra, do not ever forget that.

I got to know all that, Venry. Now I know that you will soonbecome a priest and I shall also follow priesthood and ask him

whether we may meet again. He explicitly says that we cannot with-out his help, but that the Gods are well-disposed towards us.

Do you think that other people have the same gifts, Lyra?I do not know, Venry, but I feel now that we must go back to our

body soon. I live in a different region. He added that we were bornon the same day, that we have the same gifts and that our souls arefully matched in feeling. Maybe we will find out what happened tous in bygone centuries.

Well, dear Venry, I have come to help you and to tell you all this.I now hear him say: Did you not forget something, Lyra? Can youhear it too, Venry?

I listened and heard a soft voice say: Take everything in well,some day you will return here and must recognize this spot.

Did you listen, Lyra?Yes, Venry, but I heard nothing.I told her what I had heard.I do not know when we will meet again, Venry. In case of need,

however, you must long for me. Put this longing deep into yourheart so that you feel it. You are young on earth and do not possessthis wisdom. You will receive the great wings, Venry, I feel what thatmeans. I dont know all about it yet, but what you will be doing is

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magnificent. Even now we have wings and can float in space,far away from our material body, but those other wings, dear Venry,

will make you very great. I see beautiful things, far, very far ahead,

which make me fall silent. I shall patiently wait in love.Hand in hand we walked in these beautiful surroundings. We didnot speak a word, we saw that day would dawn soon. We under-stood that this meant awakening on the world where our materialbody was. I looked up at Lyra.

How beautiful you are, Lyra. How beautiful are your face andeyes. A statue of the Temple of Isis cannot be more beautiful, for I

was allowed once to see them.

Go now, dear Venry. We were brought together but now wemust part. We must go back to the temple of our soul, the body welive in. Look there behind that bluish haze, there is the one who tookme here to you, for I begin to feel him. My dear Venry, he tells meto come to him. It is time for me to go. I must be back in my bodybefore sunrise. Could you hear him?

No, Lyra, I heard nothing, maybe it is only meant for you, like he

told me a minute ago what was only intended for me. Is that possi-ble?

She nodded that she endorsed my feelings.Farewell, my dear friend, goodbye.I saw her leave and dissolve before me. Tears were rolling down

my cheeks. As she disappeared in that twilight I hurried back to myearthly home and descended into it. I had forgotten to ask Lyra

where she lived, which I deeply regretted. I was conscious of what Ihad experienced and I opened my eyes. My Mother sat beside mybed and caressed me.

How are you, my dear boy, a little better?She was crying.Do not cry, dear Mother, but listen to me. When the powers of

your God in heaven are not clear to you, I can explain them. It isanother world between light and darkness, from which all life is born

and as a result of which we as well as the animals, the trees and plantsexist, and by which the birds sing. Those who live in this world canbe forced to do something they do not want. However, betweenlight and darkness there is another light, dear Mother, which can

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help you. It sees, feels, and knows very much about us humanbeings. Those who follow it have no fear, are no plaything for them-selves, and know what they want. It can only bring you rest and still-

ness, a quietude which is not of this earth, and equals sunrise whenthe night makes way for the day. That is why a bird sings and thanksthe Gods for what it received that day and why the snail carries itsshell.

That light, dear Mother, is in all of us, we can feel and see it if itawakens in us.

Suddenly, I realized through whom and why I said all this. I beganto understand what Lyra had told me. The power, which was her

leader, gave me rest, through him I descended into myself, andthere, very deep in my inner life, lay all this wisdom. That is why Iasked my Mother to listen. However, it frightened her and she leftthe room. Presently she returned, knelt down, and prayed. She sentan ardent prayer to her God and I followed her. What happenednow brought us close together. Then I saw it occurred quite unex-pectedly to me that I would soon lose her.

I lay there fully conscious and saw one vision after another; onevision connected me with the next. In one vision I saw myself as ahigh priest; I saw the robe I was wearing and Lyra who was mysweetheart. We both loved, but lied and deceived. We had defiledpriesthood. These qualities were still present deep within me. Inaddition, there were other qualities and feelings and if they wereawakened by higher powers, these could reach me and I would becapable of great achievements, which, however, could only be devel-oped through the higher powers.

I adored Lyra, but both of us had committed murder after murder.We had made an untimely end to one life after another. I had forcedher to do that; Lyra obeyed my will and we both experienced allthese terrible things. Horror and terror entered my soul.

My Mother was still praying. When I thought of her I couldfollow her, and I could also look into the past. In the stillness in

which I now lived I beseeched my Mother to go on imploring herAlmighty to give me power and mercy, to help me and to indicatehow I could make up for all these terrible things and be freed of mysins. Then I began to see again.

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Lyra and I belonged together and we were one; but at the time wehad stolen our love and burnt alive the one to whom she belonged.

An inhuman deed performed by passion and driven by our own

desires to satisfy the greediness of our feeling and thinking.I observed scores of false events and saw that I had deceived her aswell as others, and that I had even violated children.

In and around me all these mistakes and sins lived, deep in mysoul, and even though I now felt different and sought the higher, thisreality which formed part of my inner life existed. Because of the factthat I went back to the past I felt very old; the inherent feelingsforced themselves upon me and I had to accept them.

Lyra saw me as her master and I saw her as my wife; at thatmoment she also lived in her own past and saw, what she sometimesfelt in a condition of day-consciousness, and found, like I now did,the many mistakes and sins which once ruined her.

I was greatly interested in my own past, for that age yielded thisknowledge; the scenes confirmed its truth and I felt them awakenand become conscious within me. I saw all this surprisingly quick,

and now I concentrated on my Mother again. The life I was now inand what I had seen a minute ago sank down within me.

My Father entered, and with him the same priest who had helpedme before.

He looked into my eyes and said to my Father: Go and fetch theblowpipe, Ardaty, be quick and darken the room.

My Father hurried away, fetched a blowpipe used for raking upfire, and darkened the room. The priest told him to leave.My Mother prayed for me, her ardent prayer would help me.

The priest blew into my nostrils, turned me on my back, andtapped the vertebrae. He subsequently turned to the nervous system,felt the muscles, tapped and touched my back at various places, andrubbed me with olive oil. Now he waited for a while.

I observed everything and was quite conscious. There were stillrebellious feelings in me, which I could clearly distinguish from my

other feelings. They smirked at me so that I understood that I wasnot yet free from all these influences. They would no doubt disap-pear as a result of his drastic action, because this priest was known asa great healer.

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When he had reached this stage, he breathed on me. Thishappened at several places of my body. I felt that my lungs wouldstart working again if he went on. However, I could not yet breathe

adequately, such was the power of that other influence.I even appeared to be able to influence him and I sent him mydesires, because I liked him to go on. How happy I was when thepriest picked up my feelings. This treatment had a beneficent effecton my organism. Again he waited a moment, put his left hand onmy forehead, held my left hand in his right one, and sank into deepthought. I felt and perceived that he began to see now; probably hefeared a new attack.

He concentrated for a good length of time, looked into my eyesagain, and said to my Mother: Dear Mother, we have got Venryback. Get up now, your prayer has been answered. Venry will live;the Gods want him to. His gifts transmitted to me what I needed;these powers supplemented mine, otherwise, we would have had to

wait for the solution. The Gods sent us their help, and look, yourchild is well. I am grateful to this life, for his gifts will bestow the

highest wisdom on us in future.I could not quite open my eyes yet, but by a weak light, which illu-

minated the room, I saw my mother and the priest. He looked at herin a strange and searching way. My Mother went for my Father andthey knelt down.

In the meantime I returned to my body more and more and whatI had seen as well as those other influences sank down deep withinme. However much I concentrated, it was like a recollection ofcenturies ago.

Now I opened my eyes wide, a minute ago they were like those ofa dead person, but through my vitality they were bright again likethose of a living being. When I tried to move it was impossible,although my body was recovering.

Suddenly I felt that terrible hatred rise in me again. I violentlyresisted for I perceived that he wanted to speak.

However, those powers were stronger than mine, and my mouthsaid: I thank you for your help. It would have been better, however,if you had practised your tricks on other people. Damn, MasterDectar, and all those who are with you.

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The priest concentrated intensely. After a while I said to myparents: You, my Mother and you too, my Father, I should thank.Continue your way, your days are Again that other power over-

took me and I sank into an unfathomable depth, whereupon thepriest brought me around again the way he had done before. When Iopened my eyes, he smiled at me.

Now it is all over, is it not, Venry?I only nodded, for I did not want to talk, because I was afraid to

land in the same situation again and say terrible things, which I didnot really want. After having drunk some refreshing juice, thistension left me and I was completely myself again.

The priest asked: Can you answer me, Venry?I said: What do you want to know?I will only ask you one question. Do you know, Venry, what situ-

ation you were in?Yes, I know everything.Oh, how nice, how wonderful, he said to my parents, and that

all by himself, it is almost unbelievable.

Then he addressed me: I shall come back, dear Venry; now keepquiet and do not be afraid, everything is over now.

He formed a wall of power around me in which I was to live.He then left, and I fell into a deep sleep. My spirit remained freefrom all strange influences. At sunset I woke up, I felt buoyant andrested, and opening my eyes, I saw three people beside me, whom Irecognized as my parents and the priest.

Did you have a good rest, Venry?Yes, but I am still sleepy. Could you let me have some more sleep

for a while?I will give you something, Venry, so that you can go to sleep

again.The priest administered something and I slept until the next day

when the sun was high in the sky. I saw my parents and the priest.The high priest was also present.

He smiled and asked me: Rested, Venry?I nodded.You are entirely free now, Venry.I looked at him and it was as if I could see through him too.

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His thoughts came to me and I said: Are you going to take me tothat room again?

He understood that I had read his thoughts and nodded full of

meaning.No, not for the time being, later. First you must regain yourstrength a little and then you will come to us. Master Dectar willcoach you. Would you like that, Venry?

I shall be very pleased.In the meantime I saw something most remarkable. When the

high priest asked me questions I saw that there was another power inthis room, which closed him off completely, like Priest Dectar had

done to me. Through this power, that suddenly manifested itself andenveloped him as a dense haze, I understood that it would now beimpossible for him to pick up anything from me or the others whoare present. This power closed his inner life off completely and alsothe gifts he possessed. As a result my parents, Priest Dectar and I

were pushed into the background.Our inner life faded away by this invisible occlusion, and it seemed

to me that the object was to preserve us, though it was not clear tome from what. The high priest saw and felt nothing, apparently itonly concerned me.

After they took leave of my parents I saw that my parents were alsoenveloped in a dense haze. Then they looked at each other meaning-fully and my Father became nervous, I kept following this very curi-ous phenomenon.

My Father walked to and fro and gave a wrong reply to myMother, which I had never heard him do before.

When they both observed me and felt that I followed them, myMother said to me: You were possessed, dear Venry, but now youhave recovered.

Yes, Mother, I have, but I kept looking at her.Are you going to rest for a while, Venry?Yes, Mother.

But I kept observing the haze around her, which was now rapidlyfading away. Hardly audible and under my breath I said: Strange, itis all very strange, and not clear. I would like to see it again, it wasmuch clearer a minute ago.

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Apparently she had understood my muttering and asked: What isstrange, Venry, and what do you want to see.

The haze, Mother, it is fading away.

You should rest, Venry. Do not start seeing again, go to sleep orelse the priests will come back.I kept looking at her and saw the dense haze had disappeared

completely. My Mother was startled and I understood why.Oh no, Mother, not for that reason. I see your beautiful face and

you are not old to me, Mother. To me you are very beautiful, oh sobeautiful.

My dear Mother began to cry and went away. She had understood

me, however. Her face was quite deformed, it was deeply furrowed,young as it was and looked very old now. Even as a child I lookedthrough this mask and behind it, I saw a completely different being.The well-shaped lips, the beautiful, clear skin, her high brow, andshining eyes were clearly visible. To me she was like the Lotus in themoonlight. Around her head I saw a halo of light where I recognizedthe stillness, which I had been allowed to experience only recently.

She lived in it and remained there. When, as a child, I once askedher why she was so ugly and disfigured, she burst into tears andcollapsed. Now she left me and I fell fast asleep again.

Soon I had fully recovered and was again healthy. My organismwas so weakened by the events that I hovered between life and death,as Priest Dectar told my parents.

An astral entity had not only taken possession of my inner life, thesoul, but of my body as well; that is the deepest and worst form ofpossessiveness. Consequently, the vitality of the material humanbeing is destroyed within a very short period of time. A demonsucked these forces away and because this being controlled all vitalorgans the organism collapsed. But the human being who was orcould be attacked in this way had to be gifted, otherwise, such aconnection and taking possession would not be possible, for theinner life could not be reached.

Naturally gifted persons were therefore invariably exposed to seri-ous dangers if someone from that world wanted to live it up on earththrough them. If this connection was possible, it irrevocably resultedin possession. The priests knew these powers and forces, and had been

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able to set me free again. As a result of their actions the possessiondissolved and the other personality was removed from my inner life.

Priest Dectar had closed me off and I would live in this enclosure

henceforth. Because of all my experiences and influences they hadbeen able to find that I was highly sensitive, which could mean that Ihad gifts. When I would have reached the proper age, they wouldstart to develop these gifts. I was told to go to the Temple of Isisevery morning. I was allowed to walk around freely and I felt why.In this way, they were able to check their seclusion and take action ifI would be attacked again.

Priest Dectar asked me questions, which I was to answer the way I

felt. At first I did not quite understand why he did so, but I gaveanswers that pleased him well.

He subsequently asked me: Can my young friend feel where helives in?

In space.Very good, dear Venry, excellent indeed. But you must try to feel

where you live in, here, around your body in this small circle.

He drew a circle around me. I noticed however that he began tosee, for the light in his eyes faded away and they became entirelyempty.

I said however: I cannot answer you.That is also very clear, dear Venry, very good, I thank you.He knew however that I could answer him, but did not want to.

He felt what I felt; that could not be expressed in words. I saw, felt,and understood that he looked into me to check my answer.This was very simple for him because this priest was a great seer.

You will soon be trained for the highest priesthood, Venry, andthen we will spend a lot of time together. Would you love that?

Yes, I would.This is for those who are naturally gifted, Venry, and you are.He subsequently left.I walked through the gardens, my memory went back to what I

had experienced, and I found the place where I had met Lyra.I found this so natural because I had not changed at all in that other

world. In the life I was now in I had to follow the material laws, butin that other life I could go through all the material objects, though

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the material world had not changed as seen from that world.On this spot I had met Lyra. It meant that I had not imagined

things and that it really was reality. When I tried to return to it I

suddenly could not think anymore and what I felt faded away. Thiswas very plausible and I understood that I was well closed off, for Iremained quiet and could not depart from my body anymore.Months went by.

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CHAPTER 3

The death of my parents

During that time I neither felt nor heard anything from myinvisible enemy, for I was protected by many. The priestsguarded and the other power who took me to Lyra and who

was her leader turned out to be a great help for me. As a result, thedemons impotence seemed complete. I did not even think of himanymore.

My parents were very happy; I was quite different now, as a child

of my age should be. I remained very quiet, but I could sometimesthink deeply and give intelligent answers like grown-up people.These feelings emanated from my inner being and I found that quitenormal. Because of these wise feelings within me all these formerevents faded away and there was rest and an unexpected quietude

within me. One day, however, I perceived other phenomena withinme, which could not be suppressed.

It started with a peculiar feeling that I lived on earth and yet I didnot. It was as if I lived between two worlds, so that I was partly onearth and partly in that other world, and in that situation those curi-ous phenomena occurred. In order to control this, I chastised myown body, but I did not feel pain at all. When I cut my finger orsome other part of the body it bled just for a moment, and it stoppedimmediately, however deep the cut might be. I showed my friendsand they also tried. The results were such that they did not do itagain. Next, I experienced other things.

However bright the sun was, whether it was day or night, I couldsee that other world constantly. Even by day this world shonethrough the sunlight and laid, so to speak, a dense haze of purple andviolet colours over this life. When I told others about this phenome-non, I found that nobody saw anything and they were very surprised.

My eyes hurt and my Father consulted Priest Dectar. I was given

powerful herbs to dab my eyes with, which I should do after sunset.However strange it was, I understood why I should apply this treat-ment at that time. I got the feeling that the sunrays had a predomi-nating effect on these herbs, however powerful they were.

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After sunset these powers dissolved spontaneously. I was also of theopinion that these herbs would not be of any help because seeingoccurred from within, so that I could observe a change in nature.

I pretended to obey, but did not use the herbs. The meaning ofthe treatment did not dawn on me. However, when these thoughtsoccurred to me I felt that there was something wrong with my wayof thinking and feeling, and that it might be completely incorrect.

Priest Dectar knew what I was feeling and thinking, so that Iunderstood that my doings were even remotely controlled. He cameto me because I did not go to the Temple anymore.

Why do you not obey my orders, Venry?

I looked at him in surprise and did not answer.Come on, Venry, are we not friends? Why do you not use the

herbs? They serve to strengthen your eyes and nerves. You are look-ing too much at the sun and you should not do that.

The priest knew everything about me.You see, Venry, we are entirely one and that is why I know what

you are doing. You must listen to me for your own thoughts are not

pure. Why did you not follow those feelings? Those thoughts werevery good and correct. Will you henceforth duly note whichthoughts come to you from afar and which belong to yourself? Youcan feel that, Venry, for you possess these powers. However, theseare experiments, Venry, and that is why we are one. You will under-stand this later on. Presently you will come to me, we shall walk alot, and I will teach you many things. Now do tell me, Venry, whyyou did not use the herbs.

You know why I did not do it, correct?Yes, that is right, but I want to hear that from you, Venry.I felt that the herbs would be of no help, because this came to me

from within and I lived in that other world.Very good, Venry, but you know now that you should have

followed those other feelings, for your eyes have suffered. Whatmade you feel this so clearly, Venry? Just think calmly, we have got

time.I now felt that he helped me.Thoughts came to me and I answered: It is quite natural.

That other world is becoming ever clearer.

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When I wanted to go on telling him everything I suddenly couldnot, and he said: You must answer my question, Venry, only thatquestion, nothing else.

Now I understood our being one and I told him how I had felt it.Very good, Venry, and very clear, and now the rest of yourknowledge.

When I see in that world the sunlight loses power and cannotpenetrate that other light. Next I see colours, very beautiful coloursthat merge. I told my friends, but they cannot see anything, though Ican all the time, even at night.

Well, well, and what else do you see, Venry? Other things, for

example?A great many other things can be seen, but I cannot distinguish

them very clearly. But, in this light or behind it something is alive,for there is movement and I feel rest and quietude, it is as if someonecalls me.

The priest was very happy.It is coming, oh, it is coming, Venry. Do you love being granted

to see?No, I am accustomed to it.That is alright, Venry, do not desire, my boy, for then your vision

will not be clear, everything must come to you as a matter of course.You must keep very calm.

I know why you approve of it. I can also speak to you withoutusing my voice, with my mouth shut.

Splendid, dear Venry, but that is for the future too. I shall comefor you soon and call you beforehand as you want to talk to me now.

Yet, you will hear me all the same and come immediately. It may benight, or in the evening shortly after sunset, but you must comestraightaway. Will you come, Venry?

Shall I hear you?But of course, dear Venry, you will hear me very clearly and come

to me at once and know where I am.

Why not take me with you now?He smiled and I felt very clearly that from now on I would be

under his control. Instead of answering he had connected himselfwith me.

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Why do you commit yourself to me?I will call you, Venry.He greeted me and left. Now we were completely one. When he

looked at me, I thought I would shrink into insignificance. Myconsciousness sank away within me and I was now an instrument inhis hands.

Dectar, Dectar, I repeated his name several times as if that namewas known to me. Though I understood this human being, muchwas not yet clear to me. I loved him very much and I already knewthis very moment that one day I would be superior in thought andfeeling, although his great gifts, his ability and wisdom were highly

praised. I would become aware of that. I would get to know his deepwisdom and he would learn from me, because my gifts developed.There were sentiments in me, which told me to love him deeply andto trust him like my parents.

I had promised to use the herbs until I would feel that it was notnecessary anymore.

Suddenly, these thoughts came to me and I heard him say in a soft

whisper: Stop now, dear Venry, go to sleep calmly, but stop.I sent to him: I will follow your advice.I still heard him say: Thank you, dear Venry, many thanks.

Again, I understood a little more of him. This repetition of myname and his soft speech, I became highly aware of it and I had toobey whether I wanted to or not. Many thoughts arose in me andhowever improbable it sounds this was nothing new to me, for Iknew these powers. The more I thought of him the clearer my ownlife became. I now lived under his will, feeling and thinking; he onlyneeded to attune himself to me and I had to listen. He undeniablypossessed peculiar powers, but these wonders, which only fewpersons knew about, were also present in me.

It was a long time that I no longer had to go to the Temple;I followed my Father in the gardens or helped him feed the birds.I talked a lot with him but kept quiet as to what I knew about the

two of them. I had great respect for their love towards me.My Mother kept finding ways to spoil me and one pleasant eventfollowed the other. I perceived a curious, almost fascinating atmos-phere around her and saw that she became very silent.

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My Father seemed to feel that too.When we were together in the garden one afternoon I said to my

Father: Do you know the silence in Mother and which she is aware

of, Father?Dear Venry, there are feelings which are sacred to others and forwhich we bow our heads. Surely Mother knows why she prefers thesilence and we ought to leave her to it, should we not, Venry?

You deceive yourself, I suddenly said and felt those feelings ofhatred rise in me again.

Remember your Master, Venry, be quiet, very quiet, for your lifeis only about to begin. I do not deceive myself, my dear boy, I could

not, but, there are other laws which can change into forces andpowers which we cannot stop.

I thought of him, followed his thoughts, and I understood what hemeant.

So you surrender entirely?He looked at me and said: So young, my dear Venry, so young

and yet so wise, so deep and natural. Oh, if only I could live and

listen to what you will proclaim, to what your mouth will say, andthat will be heard and read far beyond this country, so that Pharaohafter Pharaoh will accept what you will then have given, and which

will be spiritual food of men. You are very dear to me, my boy, Iwant to thank the Almighty that you, Venry, are my son, eventhough we shall only be together in these splendid surroundings for ashort time.

Do you know what it is, Father?We have got to follow what the Gods say and want, dear Venry,

but particularly listen to what He says and will say.He continued his work and at the same moment, I saw a silver-

white line going through the earth. It proceeded in a twisted patternand pushed its way through the core of the earth. I kept looking atthis mysterious line for quite some time, I stared into a tremendousdepth, where I could follow this remarkable phenomenon.

What do your eyes see, Venry?When I wanted to answer him, I heard a voice within me say:

Keep quiet, dear Venry, be very quiet and do not see yet, be your-self. Do you hear me? This is Dectar speaking, your Master!

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Nothing, I see nothing, I told my Father.He shook his head. My vision dissolved. I was myself again and

went to my Mother.

She saw me come, took my right hand in hers, and said: My dearchild, come, sit down beside me and let us talk a while.She avoided looking at me and it was a little while before she

spoke.Once you said that things may happen which we people do not

want, but must happen all the same.Did I? I asked, but she went on.When these things happen, dear Venry, they are beyond our

control, but the higher powers and maybe the Gods know about it.Sometimes we are informed, but often we are not. And when we areinformed it is not by words, my boy. These feelings are thenimprinted on us and are very clear. Where they come from probablynobody knows, yet we can rely on them and we are sure that what

we feel will happen.Whether they come from far away or nearby we do not know, but

one voice within us tells us to do as we feel and to listen to that oneonly.

When she stopped speaking and plunged in thoughts, I said: Youspeak like Father, but you feel something, Mother, and I know whatyou feel. So do not hide it from me, for I know, I repeated emphati-cally.

She looked at me and her eyes were full of tears.Then my Mother said: You read in my soul, Venry. And what

you read there you kept to yourself all the time, and if only becauseof this, I am grateful to God. I thank you, my child, that you kept allthis wisdom to yourself, although you are still a child. You were toldbetween life and death, but not all of it is true. Remember us when

we are no longer here, and know that we enjoyed happiness.You are very old, dear Venry, for wisdom is written on your face,

in your eyes and in your whole being. Heaven knows that I was not

aware, that I suffered, and yet I understood everything and acceptedthose pains.

A crown is of no significance, dear Venry, only what your Fatherpossesses.

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You know everything, Mother?Yes, my dear. The Gods willing, you shall know everything too.

When you feel the light in you, Venry, it is the sign that you are

allowed to know everything. I learned the laws of heaven, seethrough things, and know you, dear Venry, for are you not like me?Is not that what is within you also in me? Did I not also attend thatschool? I know, dear child, you came to us with a certain purposeand you will attain it.

I shall pray for you, Venry, and ask the Gods to give you a mightyweapon, one which none of them possesses. However, you shallserve, Venry, only serve the Gods.

What I taught you is nothing in comparison with all that you willsee behind the veil. That is where God lives. You will see the originof heavens, man, and animal. You have got within you what none ofus possesses, which are the greatest treasures for this and the nextlife.

Where do you get all this wisdom from, Mother?But again she did not reply and went on: It was revealed to me

through your Father, Venry, and you will also be opened.Again she waited a moment and said: You will not tell anybody

what I said, will you, Venry?I solemnly promise, Mother. Can you tell me something about

my education, Mother?Master Dectar will tutor you, you can put yourself in his hands.

What you know now you have got from me, from your Father andyourself. In your Fathers gardens lives natural wisdom, the origin of

which you will see and perhaps experience.You did not want me to study, did you, Mother?When you were born, dear Venry, my mother who has been

living behind the veil for a long time now was with me. She broughtme spiritual flowers and said: Only in the gardens of Ardaty residesthe secret of life.

I understood my Mother and she went on: On your forehead,

dear Venry, is the star of our house. Those who possess this symbolof wisdom will proclaim where we go and how things were created.They will see what our life will be like after this life. They know whythe birds sing with joy and the flowers radiate light. They are allowed

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to see many wonders, because they see and have received the greatwings.

I took her hands in mine and kissed her ardently. I had known for

a long time that we were to part and therefore I intended to talk withher often.My Father came in and brought flowers for my Mother, one of

them of rare beauty which he called love, and which he had calledafter my Mother. My Mother thanked him, and a deep love shoneover these lives.

After dinner we stayed together for a long time and Mother talkedto me. Next we went for a walk in the gardens and admired what my

Father had grown and extracted from the soil. We accepted thebeauty of life on earth, and were grateful for the mighty gifts sent usby the Gods.

My Father looked at all his treasures and I saw tears rolling downhis cheeks. I understood this too for I felt his deep love for all thislife.

I heard him say: Now you are grown up and one day you will

return to the Gods, for they call us, my children.He broke away from all this beauty, and we returned home.

When the birds had been tended, the mangers filled and the flow-ers arranged, so that we could begin our hour of rest, we still stayedtogether. It could not be more beautiful in heaven. The silence,

which came up from our inner lives, had united us and we under-stood each other.

I felt the urge in me to ask questions and I asked my Mother:Why, dear Mother, if you know that we shall lose each other, do wenot leave here?

They both looked at me and Mother answered: You cannot runaway from these laws, dear Venry. The power which makes stars andplanets shine, to which they owe their creation and which makesfruits grow and blossom and makes our life a law, is borrowed prop-erty and belongs to the Gods. Everything, my boy, will happen the

way the Gods have ordained.And my Father added: Then the palms will wave us goodbye and

greet those who feel and understand God, because life knows who isawake and conscious, like all my children sing the song that only the

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Sower of Life knows and understands.Only because of my particular way of feeling and thinking could I

understand them, for which I was very grateful. My parents had

awakened and were conscious and their love had blossomed.They understood all these natural phenomena. To them these werelaws, I would have to learn and acquire during my life.

Then my Mother said to my Father and me: Do you feel thisheat? When this goes on and the heavens tear open so that rain willbe pouring down, the waters will rise and overflow their banks andfields and all life will be killed, we go in. Do you feel the heat?

We also felt the heat of which she spoke. It became ever more

oppressive.Believe me, she continued, dear Venry, whatever collapses, the

Temple of Isis remains, it must and will remain for the Gods sowish. You too will stay on earth, my boy. In the Temple you will getto know the wonders of the universe. You must stay to see all those

wonders, which are only known there; you can observe them behindand in space. The Gods want you to stay. Where should we go if all

ways are blocked? I see that the gates of heaven will open and thatmy Mother calls and waits for me. You will stay, my boy, to learnand to perceive all those wonders. That is not granted me, however,you will receive them and will be able to go where you want.The power by which you will float in space is present in your innerlife. Perhaps you will come to us and admire your Fathers gardens,

which he will have there too. In his garden we shall live, eternity willenter us, and the knowledge why we must leave presently. One dayyou will see us as we are within ourselves. You will see us as you donot know us. Then we shall come to you to assist you if your heartbelongs to us. That love, my boy, will be the light, which will showthe right way.

How quiet it now is around us. The mistakes and sins I commit-ted were forgiven as I infer from the many things life gave me, sothat I am ready.

I am greatly indebted to your Father, dear Venry, he restored myown self, so that I could enter the gardens of life. As you sow you willreap and he who follows what grows and was planted by lovinghands suffers no pain, misery, or sorrow.

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Those who want to see will discover that all sorrow disappears.Growth can be followed from life, but those who go in experience

what is present deep down in their inner life. My temporary feeling

fades away, the ultimate is now in me like a soft whisper. Yet, myquivering and pounding heart comprehends. Therefore, I shallfollow the voice of my heart, dear Venry, you should too, whatever

way it will speak to you. When you feel that you will perish, soperish. When the voice tells you to absorb in love, then do so, and

when it orders you to descend, then descend, my boy, it meansfollowing the way the Gods show you and have set for you.

You cannot run away from it, dear Venry, for you cannot proceed

otherwise when this feeling is in you, when it demands and calls inyou, when it burns in you and urges you on.

Should you live, you cannot die and if you must die, you cannotgo on living.

Ah, my boy, when stillness is around and in you do not look for itand wait until you are sure of yourself. Between life and death is thesecret and that secret you carry within you. It will develop and

become conscious and you will translate it into words. Between lifeand death is the why and what for and the answer to all questions,but you will be there and live in the wonders, because you willpossess the great wings. Only there, dear Venry, is wisdom for all ofus. Something miraculous is also in me, my boy. Therefore, whenthe voice says come, we shall both go to the place where we areawaited, and where many will sing for us when we arrive there.

You are different from other children, dear Venry, for you under-stand all these things. If there had not been wise men on earth, we

would not have known anything about it and our thirsty souls wouldhave perished. However, our thirst is quenched by what we feel andsee, and by what has already been granted us. There is food on earthnow, but it came from and through them. I am greatly embarrassednow that I feel that a great many years passed during which my souldid not feel thirsty. What was granted me, dear Venry, could unde-

niably have been greater and mightier, but my desire for earthlythings bereft me of pure inspiration, which is heavenly only. Still Iam very content and am allowed to be as the Gods want to see meand I may enter.

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Around us was breathless silence. Suddenly she jumped up,fetched her instrument, and sang her favourite song. In this melodylay her feeling and thinking, and her great love for him who lay knelt

down beside her.I have a healthy respect for their closely being one, and I under-stood these beings as humans and as souls, to which end I could usemy inner seeing. Both went in into that which we belong to and

which is space. They felt the silence, which was not for me, however,for I could not yet feel it and which could only be experienced bytwo souls. But I understood everything.

When the last cords and the sound of her beautiful voice had

faded away in this sacred silence they left me and admired thegardens. Nothing seemed to come of sleep today. There wasquietude in us, a quietude called silence.

I had understood her, however deep her words were. Now I knewher who was my Mother very well. I granted them this great happi-ness and I felt that I was part of it. She saw behind things and experi-enced them, as in a dream. But she knew that I would stay behind

alone, that certainty was her own property. She was one, one ineverything, with the very last one, for both dying on earth.

We stayed together until late at night. Mother supplied refreshingdrinks and my Father talked to the birds, which could not sleep.The flowers hung their heads, nature was intoxicated, for densevapours ascended from the waters and remained suspended abovethe earth. We were sitting behind the house under the fruit trees, myparents to the left and right of me and they held my hands tightly.

We felt perfectly at ease and no word was spoken. We wouldcertainly have fallen asleep, which was however not possible now.

We were living in a consciousness touching life and death, betweenpowers and forces representing a supreme power beyond this life.

We intended to stay together until sunrise. My Mother lived inperfect peace; and also my Father was quite himself.

He mumbled, but apparently my Mother understood every word

and said to him: Dear Ardaty, just leave everything we do not needon our heavenly journey. All children belonging to this life who arenot yet prepared will stay here. The other life will await us there.

But if your love adores temporality, why should you prepare yourself?

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Dear Ardaty, are you actually willing? It is true that the attractivethings you have here, and which were created by your mastery, are

worthwhile possessing.

It is understandable that your attentive life feels this depth. Thesefeelings are also in me. An enchanting beauty through which tempo-rality passes into eternity and from which this silence emanates, irra-diates our lives and our unity. My inner contemplation bridges thisand the other life and I see immutable laws, which mean powers andforces.

One emotion after the other overwhelms me when my inner eyessee the light in which the Gods live.

The temporary release of my soul touches the life you love, but thelaws demand complete surrender and going in into reality.Such feelings cannot ruin you. Rebellion against this and the follow-ing life is linked with your own personality, but life demands fullconfidence, for a stubborn refusal may break our hearts. Whofollows this passes into an improbability in feeling and thinking anddiscards full consciousness. It banishes everybody from what should

be fully experienced.Believe me, dear Ardaty, I shall not allow despondency to over-

come me, now that the laws change into powers and forces. If youfeel this breathless silence in which we live right now, then carefullyfollow the lighted path the Gods prepare for you. I do know thatmany questions now arise in you, but the direct threat also rushes upto you causing a gap between life and death.

Misleading desires may cause your downfall, your soul passes intotheir accumulation and rejects what is perfect. What is in you nowradiates far ahead and connects you with this and the next life. In oursouls reside the origin and new birth, but you must be prepared toreceive infinity. If you want to live then go in, Ardaty, and die.

When inner and worldly desires attract you and you feel a shudder, itis your own ignorance of what is behind it. Everything we possess onearth, dear Ardaty, is only borrowed.

Venry will get to know Ardaty, assuming that the Gods regard ituseful. Look at it, that red sky, it is like blood. It illuminates thedarkness. It is a sign, but only for those who accept.

I looked into the darkness but saw neither light nor blood-red

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coloured sky. Although I had often observed light, which was invisi-ble to others, I could not perceive anything my Mother saw. The lastfew days my Mother had spoken more than she had done in all her

life. Quietly, very quietly and withdrawn into herself she had livedher earthly life and kept her secret.Now her inner being was opened up and every word she spoke

came from the depth of her soul and touched eternal life. When myMother fell silent my Father jumped up and opened the cages.

The birds were still awake and he spoke to his children and urgedthem to keep quiet. He subsequently returned to my mother.

Suddenly she rose, took my Fathers hand in hers and they both

looked at me. My Mothers eyes looked into my soul like nightmakes way for day and life awakens. My young life passed by andagain I experienced her great love. Our souls were one and wouldremain so forever. Then, as if inwardly shocked, she freed herselffrom me and I descended into my Father. A grateful probing andfeeling and the happiness of a grown-up child came over me.

They said in unison as if their being one was also perfect in this

respect: Goodbye, dear Venry, goodbye, my boy.They walked into the gardens and I remained alone. In my mind I

worked out everything she had said to my Father and me. Her feel-ing and thinking were immensely deep and yet I was able to under-stand her. When I descended deep down into myself, I understoodher perfectly.

Would I get to know Ardaty? Did I not know my Father suffi-ciently? As I thought of him the birds flew away and disappeared.This was of perfect moment, for it was still night, though a fainttwilight was breaking through, announcing the new day. The verymoment the birds flew up, a dull rumbling sound emanated fromthe interior of the earth, immediately followed by a second and thirdone and a deep red light broke the twilight. A sultry atmospherenearly made me choke and far away, I heard the roar of wild beastscoming gradually nearer. Immediately thereafter, I heard Dectars

voice in me.Come, dear Venry, come quickly, will you? Do not look for

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