Email Marketing Mad Libs5 Things All Email Marketers Want

May 2011

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“The Challenge”

On April 28th, 2011, “The Challenge” was proposed. In the Email Marketing Mad Libs blog post, we asked readers to submit the following:

6 Nouns8 Verbs3 Adjectives1 Adverb

The Replies

13 people decided to play along

The next 14 slides include the original (as intended) as well as the 13 entries.

Smile. Laugh. Have fun. Enjoy.

The Original

All marketers are looking for ways to improve their email marketing. We are all looking for more audience, more delivery, more opens, more actions, and more metrics (or something like that).

• More Audience: We want bigger email lists. We want more opt-ins. We want more people to email to. More audience = more eyeballs. More eyeballs = more reach. More reach = a better chance of more subscribers clicking through and taking an action (converting).

• More Delivery: If your emails aren’t reaching the intended audience, not much of the other stuff really matters. Inbox delivery is critical to achieving more opens and more actions. One way to accomplish this is to practice permission-based email marketing as well as to send timely, targeted, valuable emails.

• More Opens: Similar to delivery, if your emails are not getting opened, it becomes hard (impossible?) for a subscriber to take an action. There are many factors that play into whether or not your emails will be opened. Two of the keys are subject line and from name. Are you testing combinations that return the best results?

• More Actions: Most emails (should) have an intended goal. Whether it be to read the content, click-through to a landing page, or convert (sign up for an event, buy a product, share with your network, etc), getting your subscribers to take action is critical. Be sure to test various components of your email copy to determine what works best.

• More Metrics: In order to optimize your email marketing campaigns, it's critical to have sound reporting and metrics. More importantly, you need to understand what the data is telling you and adjust accordingly. Adapt or die!

So there you have it - the 5 things all email marketers want.

Do you agree?

5 Things All Email Marketers Want

Submitted by Amy Garland of Blue Sky Factory

All honey badgers are looking for ways to spit their email marketing. We are all looking for more audience, more delivery, more opens, more actions, and more metrics (or something like that).

• More Audience: We want green email lists. We want more opt-ins. We want more Vanilla Ice’s to email to. More audience = more egg salad. More egg salad = more badminton. More badminton = a lumpy chance of more subscribers clicking through and taking an action (hopping).

• More Delivery: If your emails aren’t reaching the intended audience, not much of the other stuff really matters. Inbox delivery is critical to achieving more opens and more actions. One way to accomplish this is to practice Baltimore-based email marketing as well as to send gladly, tweeted, freckly emails.

• More Opens: Similar to delivery, if your emails are not getting opened, it becomes hard (impossible?) for a subscriber to take an action. There are many factors that play into whether or not your emails will be opened. Two of the keys are subject line and from name. Are you barfing combinations that return the best results?

• More Actions: Most emails (should) have an intended goal. Whether it be to giggle the content, click-through to a landing page, or type (sign up for an event, buy a product, share with your network, etc), getting your subscribers to take action is critical. Be sure to test various components of your email copy to determine what works best.

• More Metrics: In order to talk your email marketing campaigns, it's critical to have sound reporting and metrics. More importantly, you need to understand what Greg Cangialosi’s glasses are telling you and adjust accordingly. Swim or die!

So there you have it - the 5 things all email honey badgers want.

Do you agree?

5 Things All Email Honey Badgers Want

Submitted by Ann Garrison of iContact

All email lists are looking for ways to send their email marketing. We are all looking for more audience, more delivery, more opens, more actions, and more metrics (or something like that).

• More Audience: We want faster email lists. We want more opt-ins. We want more customers to email to. More audience = more customers. More sales = more servers. More servers = a stronger chance of more subscribers clicking through and taking an action (receiving).

• More Delivery: If your emails aren’t reaching the intended audience, not much of the other stuff really matters. Inbox delivery is critical to achieving more opens and more actions. One way to accomplish this is to practice template-based email marketing as well as to send swiftly, read, cleaner emails.

• More Opens: Similar to delivery, if your emails are not getting opened, it becomes hard (impossible?) for a subscriber to take an action. There are many factors that play into whether or not your emails will be opened. Two of the keys are subject line and from name. Are you opening combinations that return the best results?

• More Actions: Most emails (should) have an intended goal. Whether it be to click the content, click-through to a landing page, or download (sign up for an event, buy a product, share with your network, etc), getting your subscribers to take action is critical. Be sure to test various components of your email copy to determine what works best.

• More Metrics: In order to buy your email marketing campaigns, it's critical to have sound reporting and metrics. More importantly, you need to understand what the email is telling you and adjust accordingly. Call or die!

So there you have it - the 5 things all email lists want.

Do you agree?

5 Things All Email Lists Want

Submitted by Deborah

All apples are looking for ways to toss their email marketing. We are all looking for more audience, more delivery, more opens, more actions, and more metrics (or something like that).

• More Audience: We want kinder email lists. We want more opt-ins. We want more drawers to email to. More audience = more carrots. More carrots = more lint. More lint = a more innovative chance of more subscribers clicking through and taking an action (cruising).

• More Delivery: If your emails aren’t reaching the intended audience, not much of the other stuff really matters. Inbox delivery is critical to achieving more opens and more actions. One way to accomplish this is to practice park-based email marketing as well as to send gently, interrupted, sleepy emails.

• More Opens: Similar to delivery, if your emails are not getting opened, it becomes hard (impossible?) for a subscriber to take an action. There are many factors that play into whether or not your emails will be opened. Two of the keys are subject line and from name. Are you licking combinations that return the best results?

• More Actions: Most emails (should) have an intended goal. Whether it be to skip the content, click-through to a landing page, or sigh (sign up for an event, buy a product, share with your network, etc), getting your subscribers to take action is critical. Be sure to test various components of your email copy to determine what works best.

• More Metrics: In order to vibrate your email marketing campaigns, it's critical to have sound reporting and metrics. More importantly, you need to understand what the begonias are telling you and adjust accordingly. Yell or die!

So there you have it - the 5 things all email apples want.

Do you agree?

5 Things All Email Apples Want

Submitted by William Burch

All blueberries are looking for ways to run their email marketing. We are all looking for more audience, more delivery, more opens, more actions, and more metrics (or something like that).

• More Audience: We want boisterous email lists. We want more opt-ins. We want more dirt to email to. More audience = more wire. More wire = more noses. More noses = a glowing chance of more subscribers clicking through and taking an action (typing).

• More Delivery: If your emails aren’t reaching the intended audience, not much of the other stuff really matters. Inbox delivery is critical to achieving more opens and more actions. One way to accomplish this is to practice movie-based email marketing as well as to send everywhere, talking, fragile emails.

• More Opens: Similar to delivery, if your emails are not getting opened, it becomes hard (impossible?) for a subscriber to take an action. There are many factors that play into whether or not your emails will be opened. Two of the keys are subject line and from name. Are you sweeping combinations that return the best results?

• More Actions: Most emails (should) have an intended goal. Whether it be to shout the content, click-through to a landing page, or stare (sign up for an event, buy a product, share with your network, etc), getting your subscribers to take action is critical. Be sure to test various components of your email copy to determine what works best.

• More Metrics: In order to hunt your email marketing campaigns, it's critical to have sound reporting and metrics. More importantly, you need to understand what the fork is telling you and adjust accordingly. Eat or die!

So there you have it - the 5 things all email blueberries want.

Do you agree?

5 Things All Email Blueberries Want

Submitted by Elena Hekimian of Blue Sky Factory

All interwebs are looking for ways to fly their email marketing. We are all looking for more audience, more delivery, more opens, more actions, and more metrics (or something like that).

• More Audience: We want green email lists. We want more opt-ins. We want more “you” to email to. More audience = more ISPs. More ISPs = more Blue Sky Factory. More Blue Sky Factory = a stinky chance of more subscribers clicking through and taking an action (sending).

• More Delivery: If your emails aren’t reaching the intended audience, not much of the other stuff really matters. Inbox delivery is critical to achieving more opens and more actions. One way to accomplish this is to practice boss-based email marketing as well as to send magically, thrown, hard emails.

• More Opens: Similar to delivery, if your emails are not getting opened, it becomes hard (impossible?) for a subscriber to take an action. There are many factors that play into whether or not your emails will be opened. Two of the keys are subject line and from name. Are you receiving combinations that return the best results?

• More Actions: Most emails (should) have an intended goal. Whether it be to gain the content, click-through to a landing page, or flop (sign up for an event, buy a product, share with your network, etc), getting your subscribers to take action is critical. Be sure to test various components of your email copy to determine what works best.

• More Metrics: In order to buy your email marketing campaigns, it's critical to have sound reporting and metrics. More importantly, you need to understand what the money’s is telling you and adjust accordingly. Explode or die!

So there you have it - the 5 things all email interwebs want.

Do you agree?

5 Things All Email Interwebs Want

Submitted by Joanna Lawson-Matthew of Blue Sky Factory

All frogs are looking for ways to skip their email marketing. We are all looking for more audience, more delivery, more opens, more actions, and more metrics (or something like that).

• More Audience: We want greener email lists. We want more opt-ins. We want more umbrellas to email to. More audience = more scissors. More scissors = more grass. More grass = a horrible chance of more subscribers clicking through and taking an action (dancing).

• More Delivery: If your emails aren’t reaching the intended audience, not much of the other stuff really matters. Inbox delivery is critical to achieving more opens and more actions. One way to accomplish this is to practice joy-based email marketing as well as to send nervously, poked, fluffy emails.

• More Opens: Similar to delivery, if your emails are not getting opened, it becomes hard (impossible?) for a subscriber to take an action. There are many factors that play into whether or not your emails will be opened. Two of the keys are subject line and from name. Are you galloping combinations that return the best results?

• More Actions: Most emails (should) have an intended goal. Whether it be to eat the content, click-through to a landing page, or cough (sign up for an event, buy a product, share with your network, etc), getting your subscribers to take action is critical. Be sure to test various components of your email copy to determine what works best.

• More Metrics: In order to swallow your email marketing campaigns, it's critical to have sound reporting and metrics. More importantly, you need to understand what the alligator is telling you and adjust accordingly. Scratch or die!

So there you have it - the 5 things all email frogs want.

Do you agree?

5 Things All Email Frogs Want

Submitted by Stefan Eyram of ClickMail Marketing

All sailboats are looking for ways to sail their email marketing. We are all looking for more audience, more delivery, more opens, more actions, and more metrics (or something like that).

• More Audience: We want happier email lists. We want more opt-ins. We want more flags to email to. More audience = more voices. More voices = more content. More content = a weirder chance of more subscribers clicking through and taking an action (waving).

• More Delivery: If your emails aren’t reaching the intended audience, not much of the other stuff really matters. Inbox delivery is critical to achieving more opens and more actions. One way to accomplish this is to practice hockey-based email marketing as well as to send interestingly, spoken, cooler emails.

• More Opens: Similar to delivery, if your emails are not getting opened, it becomes hard (impossible?) for a subscriber to take an action. There are many factors that play into whether or not your emails will be opened. Two of the keys are subject line and from name. Are you reading combinations that return the best results?

• More Actions: Most emails (should) have an intended goal. Whether it be listening to the content, click-through to a landing page, or sharing (sign up for an event, buy a product, share with your network, etc), getting your subscribers to take action is critical. Be sure to test various components of your email copy to determine what works best.

• More Metrics: In order to enjoy your email marketing campaigns, it's critical to have sound reporting and metrics. More importantly, you need to understand what the media is telling you and adjust accordingly. Play or die!

So there you have it - the 5 things all email sailboats want.

Do you agree?

5 Things All Email Sailboats Want

Submitted by Jason Keath of Social Fresh

All nuns are looking for ways to birth their email marketing. We are all looking for more audience, more delivery, more opens, more actions, and more metrics (or something like that).

• More Audience: We want rotund email lists. We want more opt-ins. We want more guns to email to. More audience = more mangos. More mangos = more dirty martinis. More dirty martinis = an enormous chance of more subscribers clicking through and taking an action (savoring).

• More Delivery: If your emails aren’t reaching the intended audience, not much of the other stuff really matters. Inbox delivery is critical to achieving more opens and more actions. One way to accomplish this is to practice paintball pistol-based email marketing as well as to send dramatically, shouted, brief emails.

• More Opens: Similar to delivery, if your emails are not getting opened, it becomes hard (impossible?) for a subscriber to take an action. There are many factors that play into whether or not your emails will be opened. Two of the keys are subject line and from name. Are you evading combinations that return the best results?

• More Actions: Most emails (should) have an intended goal. Whether it be to capture the content, click-through to a landing page, or promise (sign up for an event, buy a product, share with your network, etc), getting your subscribers to take action is critical. Be sure to test various components of your email copy to determine what works best.

• More Metrics: In order to hurdle your email marketing campaigns, it's critical to have sound reporting and metrics. More importantly, you need to understand what the Empire State Building is telling you and adjust accordingly. Lie or die!

So there you have it - the 5 things all email nuns want.

Do you agree?

5 Things All Email Nuns Want

Submitted by Karen Talavera of Synchronicity Marketing

All princesses are looking for ways to marry their email marketing. We are all looking for more audience, more delivery, more opens, more actions, and more metrics (or something like that).

• More Audience: We want elegant email lists. We want more opt-ins. We want more churches to email to. More audience = more hats. More hats = more rings. More rings = a royal chance of more subscribers clicking through and taking an action (kissing).

• More Delivery: If your emails aren’t reaching the intended audience, not much of the other stuff really matters. Inbox delivery is critical to achieving more opens and more actions. One way to accomplish this is to practice wedding-based email marketing as well as to send enthusiastically, waving, young emails.

• More Opens: Similar to delivery, if your emails are not getting opened, it becomes hard (impossible?) for a subscriber to take an action. There are many factors that play into whether or not your emails will be opened. Two of the keys are subject line and from name. Are you laughing combinations that return the best results?

• More Actions: Most emails (should) have an intended goal. Whether it be to drink the content, click-through to a landing page, or dance (sign up for an event, buy a product, share with your network, etc), getting your subscribers to take action is critical. Be sure to test various components of your email copy to determine what works best.

• More Metrics: In order to eat your email marketing campaigns, it's critical to have sound reporting and metrics. More importantly, you need to understand what the church is telling you and adjust accordingly. Party or die!

So there you have it - the 5 things all email princesses want.

Do you agree?

5 Things All Email Princesses Want

Submitted by Chrissy Coleman Mills

All windmills are looking for ways to shellac their email marketing. We are all looking for more audience, more delivery, more opens, more actions, and more metrics (or something like that).

• More Audience: We want analog email lists. We want more opt-ins. We want more leis to email to. More audience = more recession. More recession = more motion. More motion = a nefarious chance of more subscribers clicking through and taking an action (ambushing).

• More Delivery: If your emails aren’t reaching the intended audience, not much of the other stuff really matters. Inbox delivery is critical to achieving more opens and more actions. One way to accomplish this is to practice grammar-based email marketing as well as to send owlishly, hammered, solar emails.

• More Opens: Similar to delivery, if your emails are not getting opened, it becomes hard (impossible?) for a subscriber to take an action. There are many factors that play into whether or not your emails will be opened. Two of the keys are subject line and from name. Are you texting combinations that return the best results?

• More Actions: Most emails (should) have an intended goal. Whether it be to speed the content, click-through to a landing page, or mollify (sign up for an event, buy a product, share with your network, etc), getting your subscribers to take action is critical. Be sure to test various components of your email copy to determine what works best.

• More Metrics: In order to roast your email marketing campaigns, it's critical to have sound reporting and metrics. More importantly, you need to understand what the syntax is telling you and adjust accordingly. Pedal or die!

So there you have it - the 5 things all email windmills want.

Do you agree?

5 Things All Email Windmills Want

Submitted by "Nil8r"

All creatures are looking for ways to obfuscate their email marketing. We are all looking for more audience, more delivery, more opens, more actions, and more metrics (or something like that).

• More Audience: We want outrageous email lists. We want more opt-ins. We want more flies to email to. More audience = more tea. More tea = more flags. More flags = a blue chance of more subscribers clicking through and taking an action (crawling).

• More Delivery: If your emails aren’t reaching the intended audience, not much of the other stuff really matters. Inbox delivery is critical to achieving more opens and more actions. One way to accomplish this is to practice reaction-based email marketing as well as to send spryly, confused, lovely emails.

• More Opens: Similar to delivery, if your emails are not getting opened, it becomes hard (impossible?) for a subscriber to take an action. There are many factors that play into whether or not your emails will be opened. Two of the keys are subject line and from name. Are you decreeing combinations that return the best results?

• More Actions: Most emails (should) have an intended goal. Whether it be to measure the content, click-through to a landing page, or squeak (sign up for an event, buy a product, share with your network, etc), getting your subscribers to take action is critical. Be sure to test various components of your email copy to determine what works best.

• More Metrics: In order to license your email marketing campaigns, it's critical to have sound reporting and metrics. More importantly, you need to understand what the trust is telling you and adjust accordingly. Encourage or die!

So there you have it - the 5 things all email creatures want.

Do you agree?

5 Things All Email Creatures Want

Submitted by "1dumay"

All horses are looking for ways to eat their email marketing. We are all looking for more audience, more delivery, more opens, more actions, and more metrics (or something like that).

• More Audience: We want fat email lists. We want more opt-ins. We want more cows to email to. More audience = more men. More men = more baseballs. More baseballs = a happier chance of more subscribers clicking through and taking an action (talking).

• More Delivery: If your emails aren’t reaching the intended audience, not much of the other stuff really matters. Inbox delivery is critical to achieving more opens and more actions. One way to accomplish this is to practice airplane-based email marketing as well as to send easily, stalked, bluer emails.

• More Opens: Similar to delivery, if your emails are not getting opened, it becomes hard (impossible?) for a subscriber to take an action. There are many factors that play into whether or not your emails will be opened. Two of the keys are subject line and from name. Are you sitting combinations that return the best results?

• More Actions: Most emails (should) have an intended goal. Whether it be to dance the content, click-through to a landing page, or fall (sign up for an event, buy a product, share with your network, etc), getting your subscribers to take action is critical. Be sure to test various components of your email copy to determine what works best.

• More Metrics: In order to stalk your email marketing campaigns, it's critical to have sound reporting and metrics. More importantly, you need to understand what social media is telling you and adjust accordingly. Swim or die!

So there you have it - the 5 things all email horses want.

Do you agree?

5 Things All Email Horses Want

Submitted by Katrina Wagner of Graphic Beans

All depictions are looking for ways to invent their email marketing. We are all looking for more audience, more delivery, more opens, more actions, and more metrics (or something like that).

• More Audience: We want stupendous email lists. We want more opt-ins. We want more creations to email to. More audience = more art. More art = more design. More design = a marvelous chance of more subscribers clicking through and taking an action (producing).

• More Delivery: If your emails aren’t reaching the intended audience, not much of the other stuff really matters. Inbox delivery is critical to achieving more opens and more actions. One way to accomplish this is to practice pièce de résistance-based email marketing as well as to send dexterously, sketched, exemplary emails.

• More Opens: Similar to delivery, if your emails are not getting opened, it becomes hard (impossible?) for a subscriber to take an action. There are many factors that play into whether or not your emails will be opened. Two of the keys are subject line and from name. Are you inventing combinations that return the best results?

• More Actions: Most emails (should) have an intended goal. Whether it be to execute the content, click-through to a landing page, or describe (sign up for an event, buy a product, share with your network, etc), getting your subscribers to take action is critical. Be sure to test various components of your email copy to determine what works best.

• More Metrics: In order to arrange your email marketing campaigns, it's critical to have sound reporting and metrics. More importantly, you need to understand what the construction is telling you and adjust accordingly. Accomplish or die!

So there you have it - the 5 things all email depictions want.

Do you agree?

5 Things All Email Depictions Want

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