Elaboration in Expository Essays

Prompt and Thesis• Write an essay explaining what thrill-

seeking activities appeal to your sense of adventure.

• Thesis Option #1—Traveling by cruise ship and paddling a kayak are two thrill-seeking activities that appeal to my sense of adventure.

• Thesis Option #2—Whether paddling a kayak or aboard a cruise ship, traveling the world by boat is a thrill-seeking activity that appeals to my sense of adventure.

Historical Examples

• I’ve always wanted to travel across the ocean from Europe to the United States like America’s forefathers did on the Mayflower. While they came to create a new colony, I would simply like to explore the world by boat.

Historical Examples

• Traveling from Spain to the Americas like Christopher Columbus did on the Santa Maria would be an adventure. I love the feel of the wind in my face and the movement of the waves under my feet as the ship plows through the water.

Movie or Book Examples

• Watching the movie Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World intrigued me as a world traveler. In the movie, Russell Crowe plays a ship’s captain who travels to the Galapagos Islands to explore the plant and wildlife there. It has always been my dream to travel to the Galapagos Islands and see for myself the place that Charles Darwin called a wonder of the world with animals and plants like nowhere else on earth.

Movie or Book Examples

• I loved watching the water scenes in the movie Titanic and the grandeur of that ship that cruised from England to the U.S. As in Titanic, boat travel today is luxurious with housekeepers who clean your rooms; waiters who bring you breakfast, lunch, and dinner; and entertainment every night. Who hasn’t wanted to climb to the highest part of a cruise ship and yell—“I’m king of the world?”

Movie or Book Examples• I always thought that Mark Twain’s description of

Huck’s adventures on the Mississippi River was an extreme exaggeration until I took my own vacation on a steam boat up the Mississippi River. Although it may seem sedate, traveling up the Mississippi was one of the most exciting adventures I’ve ever had. My vacation was filled with lazy days reading books, watching the river traffic pass by, racing other steamboats, and listening to an historian’s stories about the area of the river we were passing—stories of earthquakes, floods, and even the greatest maritime disaster of all time—the explosion of the steamboat Sultana

Sports and Pop Culture Examples

• As a child, I watched a television show where sports figures and television personalities would compete against each other in various activities, such as foot races and obstacle courses. In one event, teams of competitors would race each other in kayaks. I always thought the competitors were silly because they couldn’t easily maneuver around the buoys in the water. Now, I know better because I own a kayak and it isn’t as easy as I thought. Some of my best experiences exploring the outdoors, however, have occurred in that kayak. I can get up close to cranes and ducks on the lake; I can observe turtles swimming around; I can even see jumping fish. These are some of the wonders I see while traveling by boat.

Sports and Pop Culture Examples

• When I was younger, I often saw outdoorsmen on television paddling their kayaks. They would roll over in the water and manage to right themselves. I was intrigued by their wild maneuvers. Now as a kayaker, I have been able to explore the waterways near my house. I have yet to fall out of the kayak or roll over, but the experience of paddling through rough waters and observing wildlife up close is thrilling nonetheless.

Current Events Examples

• Last year Laura Dekker, a 14-year-old Dutch girl, became the youngest person to sail solo around the world. Although I don’t want to sail alone, I would love to travel the world by boat.

Current Events Examples

• I was enthralled by a reality television show on the National Geographic channel entitled Ultimate Survival Alaska. Eight men trekked thousands of miles through the rough terrain of Alaska. On several episodes, the adventurers traveled by boat through the waterways of Alaska. They fished for fresh salmon, observed bears from near and afar, and kayaked rough rapids. I may not be as brave as these eight men, but I would love to travel Alaska by boat exploring the plant and wildlife and enjoying the beauty of the great state.

Someone You Know (Personal) Examples

• One of the most beautiful sights I’ve ever experienced came while I was aboard a cruise ship traveling through a fjord in Alaska. I’ll admit I was somewhat intimidated by the icebergs surrounding the ship, but the reflection of the glaciers on the calm waters of the fjord was breathtaking.

Someone You Know (Personal) Examples

• I’ve traveled all over the world by boat from the Caribbean to the Mediterranean Sea. I love the feel of the waves hitting a ship, especially during storms and rough seas. Hearing the waves hit the sides of the ship and feeling the spray of water hit your face are especially invigorating.

Someone You Know (Personal) Examples

• As a little girl, my father told me about his trip through the Panama Canal on his way to work on off shore gas wells. As an adult, I wanted to experience the Panama Canal like my father did, so I took a cruise that gave me that opportunity. The process of awaiting passage through the canal and being raised and lowered through locks was an event like no other in my life.

Materials provided by Lisa Rowlette, Carolyn Wright,

and Cathy Kahlig

Hurst-Euless-Bedford ISD