I am a woman.

I am a wife.

I am a mother.

I am a daughter.

I am a sister.

I am a friend.

I love coffee.

I love chocolate.

I love chocolate with my coffee.

I love the occasional glass of wine....

....or three.

I love Autumn and Winter.

I play AC/DC when I do yoga.

I love the smell of the air just after the rain.

I smile.

I laugh.

I tell really bad jokes.

I dance to my own rhythm.

I find beauty in the small things.

I have Dysautonomia.

Standing up is often a challenge.

My blood pressure goes up.

My blood pressure goes down.

My heart goes, blah.........blah..........blah.

But some days...

...it beats like I am running a marathon.

Simply because I stand up.

I am always dizzy, or feel faint.

On bad days I pass out.

My blood doesn't like to go to my brain.

But it is really loves to sit in my feet.

I live in a permanent brain fog.

I shake.

I am often weak and fatigued.

I am always nauseous.

And have a close personal relationship with my toilet.

I have headaches daily.

And migraines on a regular basis.

I wear shorts and t-shirts in Winter,

As I am constantly hot.

I can't work.

I am often unable to drive.

I don't go out much.

Some days I can barely walk.

I take multiple medications,

to try and control the symptoms.

Sometimes the side effects

Are worse than the disorder.

I have no known cause for my Dysautonomia.

There is currently no cure.

But I am still a woman.

I am still a wife.

I am still a mother.

I am still a daughter.

I am still a sister.

I am still a friend.

I still like coffee, chocolate, and wine.

I still love Autumn and Winter, and the smell of rain in the air.

I still do yoga whilst listening to AC/DC and tell really bad jokes.

I still smile and I still laugh.

I still find beauty in the small things.

Dysautonomia is only a small part of the picture.

I am all this and more.

But mostly,

I am me.

Dysautonomia may one day have a cure.

It may not.

Either way I'm going to give myself permission to breathe,

and just be.

Video by:Living with Bob (Dysautonomia)

http://bobisdysautonomia.blogspot.com/

Music;“Today I'm a Daisy” - Deborah Conway