!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!

#WKNDGRDY

EDITION

THE

DAILY WEEKEND

APR 2014

! In my short life I have had many different jobs. If I recall correctly my first was doing construction. I worked under the table, mainly carried shit around for the other fellas who actually knew what they were doing. It was super hard work and I sucked at it, luckily my boss agreed and fired me after a week, I was 16. ! My next job was one of janitorial duties at a florist. My main responsibilities there were cleaning out flower buckets, tidying up the shop, changing the billboard sign, and cleaning out old storage shit. It was a decent job, paid minimum, which wasn’t bad. I worked there one day a week during school, usually on Saturdays. I was 17. ! When summertime rolled around they started giving me more work and more responsibility. They even promoted me to be a delivery driver. This paid about 10 an hour and came with tips. Unfortunately I had already taken another job as a bus boy at an Italian restaurant, a friend of the family got me the job so I felt obligated to follow through. Looking back I should have stayed at the florist. Delivering rocked!! ! The Italian place was owned by this old Italian dude, who also used to be the mayor of a local city. My old man told me that he had an affair with his wife and then all of a sudden his girlfriend mysteriously died, no one went to jail. Kinda creepy, he seemed like a mobster to my 18 year old mind. working here was ok, made decent money in tips. After about a year, I got my big break though. ! I got a job there working in Guest Services at Safeco Field, the home of the Seattle Mariners. I was 19. This was a sweet gig. My boss was awesome, her name was Ionia. My main responsibility was pushing old and/or fat people in wheelchairs before and after the game. During the game I would usually just hang around and answer people’s

questions. I worked there for 5 years, and if I ever get the chance to go back I probably will.! During these 5 years of working at the Safe, I also worked at the UW drama department as a House Manger for all of there theater productions. In the summer I also did some landscaping. Landscaping was interesting, worked with some strange people, who said lots of strange things. One dude, could roll a joint with one hand and push a lawnmower with the other, never stopping or nothing... an imperative skill when you’re mowing lawns for 8 hours a day. I was 20.! After that summer, I went back to school and got a job at QFC in the deli. I wont say much about this except that the only perk was steeling cheese and lunch meet. ! I eventually got a job tutoring Athletes in intro Astronomy courses at the UW athletic department. This was the first job that required the physics and astronomy education I was getting. I was 21. It was fun, especially cause I got to work with some sweet athletes. One person of note that I tutored was Jermaine Kearse, who is now a Seahawk, although it’s too bad he’s not a Packer.! I stayed tutoring and working at Safeco until I graduated. I then got a job working at a Intellectual Property Law (Patent Law) office. This jobs was mind numbing. It payed well, but the I hated the work and even worse I thought that the work was somewhere between pointless and a waste of money. I was 23. ! Shortly after I started I decided to apply to Graduate school in Physics, and a year later I started at the University of New Mexico, in Albuquerque. Along with teaching at Green River Community College, this has been my main job ever since. Not many people know this but in all physics graduate schools, you actually get paid, and paid pretty well too. If you include the fact that tuition is payed for you end up making

! In my short life I have had many different jobs. If I recall correctly my first was doing construction. I worked under the table, mainly carried shit around for the other fellas who actually knew what they were doing. It was super hard work and I sucked at it, luckily my boss agreed and fired me after a week, I was 16. ! My next job was one of janitorial duties at a florist. My main responsibilities there were cleaning out flower buckets, tidying up the shop, changing the billboard sign, and cleaning out old storage shit. It was a decent job, paid minimum, which wasn’t bad. I worked there one day a week during school, usually on Saturdays. I was 17. ! When summertime rolled around they started giving me more work and more responsibility. They even promoted me to be a delivery driver. This paid about 10 an hour and came with tips. Unfortunately I had already taken another job as a bus boy at an Italian restaurant, a friend of the family got me the job so I felt obligated to follow through. Looking back I should have stayed at the florist. Delivering rocked!! ! The Italian place was owned by this old Italian dude, who also used to be the mayor of a local city. My old man told me that he had an affair with his wife and then all of a sudden his girlfriend mysteriously died, no one went to jail. Kinda creepy, he seemed like a mobster to my 18 year old mind. working here was ok, made decent money in tips. After about a year, I got my big break though. ! I got a job there working in Guest Services at Safeco Field, the home of the Seattle Mariners. I was 19. This was a sweet gig. My boss was awesome, her name was Ionia. My main responsibility was pushing old and/or fat people in wheelchairs before and after the game. During the game I would usually just hang around and answer people’s

questions. I worked there for 5 years, and if I ever get the chance to go back I probably will.! During these 5 years of working at the Safe, I also worked at the UW drama department as a House Manger for all of there theater productions. In the summer I also did some landscaping. Landscaping was interesting, worked with some strange people, who said lots of strange things. One dude, could roll a joint with one hand and push a lawnmower with the other, never stopping or nothing... an imperative skill when you’re mowing lawns for 8 hours a day. I was 20.! After that summer, I went back to school and got a job at QFC in the deli. I wont say much about this except that the only perk was steeling cheese and lunch meet. ! I eventually got a job tutoring Athletes in intro Astronomy courses at the UW athletic department. This was the first job that required the physics and astronomy education I was getting. I was 21. It was fun, especially cause I got to work with some sweet athletes. One person of note that I tutored was Jermaine Kearse, who is now a Seahawk, although it’s too bad he’s not a Packer.! I stayed tutoring and working at Safeco until I graduated. I then got a job working at a Intellectual Property Law (Patent Law) office. This jobs was mind numbing. It payed well, but the I hated the work and even worse I thought that the work was somewhere between pointless and a waste of money. I was 23. ! Shortly after I started I decided to apply to Graduate school in Physics, and a year later I started at the University of New Mexico, in Albuquerque. Along with teaching at Green River Community College, this has been my main job ever since. Not many people know this but in all physics graduate schools, you actually get paid, and paid pretty well too. If you include the fact that tuition is payed for you end up making

like 40k a year, and when you’re done you have a PhD. My job is basically to discover things. When it all boils down, the Government is paying me to learn new things about the universe and write about it so others can build on it and learn more. My focus is in Low Frequency radio transients... Huh?! Well what we do is basically take a bunch of really fancy car antennas and look at radio waves coming from space... no not aliens. Gas, mainly hydrogen, which is pretty much what the universe is made out of (aside from dark matter and dark energy) and it emits radio waves through a bunch of different mechanisms. We look at this gas. It may not sound too exciting, but it is to me. Its very important because one of the few ways to look back in time and see where the universe came from, what it’s doing now, and make predictions of what it’s going to do is by looking at gas. ! In particular I’m looking for gas explosions. Explosions? Yeah, like a nearby star having a giant flare of hot gas (much like our sun does), or two neutron stars crashing together and forming a black hole and spitting a bunch of hot gas out, or like a black hole forming in the center of a giant star 50 times bigger than the sun and collapsing a large fraction of it into a singularity in the matter of seconds, while the rest of the star gets blown away in the biggest type of explosion since the big bang. ! I look for these things by creating images out of the data from our car antennas and then subtracting one image from another and looking for anything that has changed. I’ve done this for about 8 million images so far (don’t worry I wrote a computer program to do this, it only takes an hour or so). This has yielded 51 significant transients (an object that appears and disappears in some short amount of time). Most of these have proven to be explosions in our own atmosphere... meteors in fact... very very large meteors. Nothing as big as the

recent one in Russia, but large none the less. If our saw one it would be about 10 times brighter than the brightest star (or planet) you’ve ever seen, maybe you have seen one of these before, and were like “Holy Shit!!!” ! We aren’t really sure what is causing them to be so bright in radio frequencies. It might be that a very strong magnetic field forms in the trail of super hot gas left by the meteor, and then the electrons in the gas get all excited by the magnetic field and then radiate, but we don’t really know. ! Hopefully in the next couple weeks we will publish these results in a major journal like Science or Nature. Only time will tell.

- CR

Jess and me front of antennas from two different radio telescopes... can you name them?

like 40k a year, and when you’re done you have a PhD. My job is basically to discover things. When it all boils down, the Government is paying me to learn new things about the universe and write about it so others can build on it and learn more. My focus is in Low Frequency radio transients... Huh?! Well what we do is basically take a bunch of really fancy car antennas and look at radio waves coming from space... no not aliens. Gas, mainly hydrogen, which is pretty much what the universe is made out of (aside from dark matter and dark energy) and it emits radio waves through a bunch of different mechanisms. We look at this gas. It may not sound too exciting, but it is to me. Its very important because one of the few ways to look back in time and see where the universe came from, what it’s doing now, and make predictions of what it’s going to do is by looking at gas. ! In particular I’m looking for gas explosions. Explosions? Yeah, like a nearby star having a giant flare of hot gas (much like our sun does), or two neutron stars crashing together and forming a black hole and spitting a bunch of hot gas out, or like a black hole forming in the center of a giant star 50 times bigger than the sun and collapsing a large fraction of it into a singularity in the matter of seconds, while the rest of the star gets blown away in the biggest type of explosion since the big bang. ! I look for these things by creating images out of the data from our car antennas and then subtracting one image from another and looking for anything that has changed. I’ve done this for about 8 million images so far (don’t worry I wrote a computer program to do this, it only takes an hour or so). This has yielded 51 significant transients (an object that appears and disappears in some short amount of time). Most of these have proven to be explosions in our own atmosphere... meteors in fact... very very large meteors. Nothing as big as the

recent one in Russia, but large none the less. If our saw one it would be about 10 times brighter than the brightest star (or planet) you’ve ever seen, maybe you have seen one of these before, and were like “Holy Shit!!!” ! We aren’t really sure what is causing them to be so bright in radio frequencies. It might be that a very strong magnetic field forms in the trail of super hot gas left by the meteor, and then the electrons in the gas get all excited by the magnetic field and then radiate, but we don’t really know. ! Hopefully in the next couple weeks we will publish these results in a major journal like Science or Nature. Only time will tell.

- CR

Jess and me front of antennas from two different radio telescopes... can you name them?

THOUGHTS FROM THE TOP:!!“If you don’t grow, you die.”!!“People like to say ‘no one told me’ but the real question is, !Did you even ask?!”!!“There’s nothing worse than a page full of words.”!!“We need to know the extent to which we fail.”!!“Anything is a good thing!”!!PHRASES AND WORDS LEARNED:!!“At the end of the day...”!“Don’t you think?”!“Would it make sense if...”!“Bottom line is…”!“Point is…”!“What I’m trying to say is…”!“Touch base…”!“Check in…”!“Circle back…”!“Value-adding”!“Goat Rodeo”!“In the weeds”!“Bandwidth”!“Learnings”!“Endgame!!!!

THINGS MY CO-WORKERS HAVE TOLD ME!!“Well, you’re the manager.”!“I don’t think I’m the manager.”!“Ok, we’re all monkeys. !You’re definitely the head monkey.”!!“I had an insane thought the other day — !it just slapped me right across the face!”!!“My weirdest dream is that the three stooges break into my house and drag me out of bed through a maze in my own house”!!“How are you?”!Says the accountant: “I’m out of balance.”!!“I love art. Lots of art. Especially chainsaw art.”!!

“I Google so well, I switched to Bing just for a challenge.”!!“He doesn’t have a mother - he hatched from an egg!”!!“She’s brilliant. But we can’t all be halogen — besides, everyone looks better in 60 watts.”!!“Life Insurance…how much am i worth dead?”!!

!

THOUGHTS FROM THE TOP:!!“If you don’t grow, you die.”!!“People like to say ‘no one told me’ but the real question is, !Did you even ask?!”!!“There’s nothing worse than a page full of words.”!!“We need to know the extent to which we fail.”!!“Anything is a good thing!”!!PHRASES AND WORDS LEARNED:!!“At the end of the day...”!“Don’t you think?”!“Would it make sense if...”!“Bottom line is…”!“Point is…”!“What I’m trying to say is…”!“Touch base…”!“Check in…”!“Circle back…”!“Value-adding”!“Goat Rodeo”!“In the weeds”!“Bandwidth”!“Learnings”!“Endgame!!!!

THINGS MY CO-WORKERS HAVE TOLD ME!!“Well, you’re the manager.”!“I don’t think I’m the manager.”!“Ok, we’re all monkeys. !You’re definitely the head monkey.”!!“I had an insane thought the other day — !it just slapped me right across the face!”!!“My weirdest dream is that the three stooges break into my house and drag me out of bed through a maze in my own house”!!“How are you?”!Says the accountant: “I’m out of balance.”!!“I love art. Lots of art. Especially chainsaw art.”!!

“I Google so well, I switched to Bing just for a challenge.”!!“He doesn’t have a mother - he hatched from an egg!”!!“She’s brilliant. But we can’t all be halogen — besides, everyone looks better in 60 watts.”!!“Life Insurance…how much am i worth dead?”!!

!

MEDITATIONS ON THE C WORD (career) !The “work-leisure dichotomy” was purportedly invented in the mid-1800s, which means that the project of blurring the boundaries between work and life has been underway for over 100 years. Arguably, this has culminated in the cursed miracle of technology called the iPhone. God only knows where it will take us next.!!Work-life conflict is not gender-specific, say the studies. Yet work conflict is. The ideal worker in the eyes of most employers is fully dedicated to their work. Thus, their work is their life. In other words, they’re an L7 square. They have no real interests. They mourn their college days, rely on alcohol and watch sitcoms. And because they have no time for life enriching activities like hobbies, causes or interests outside of work, they use their earned income to acquire cultural capital, typically in the form of items like shoes and crisp shirts and shiny vehicles designed by esteemed people, with a steep price tag to reflect their “value.”!!When I see these men in the city, I’d like to stop and ask them: What ladder do you climb? What rung do you stand on? What chair do you sit in? What house will you live in? !!But most importantly is: “Sir — where are you headed?”!!I hate to bring this up. I really do. But as a woman - as a straight young woman of marrying age - most of the ruling Boomers who think the world is fully calculable see me and know - they know - that there’s like an 85% chance I’ll get pregnant and step out of the workforce. Whereas my comrade, the L7 square who trips over himself in excitement to iron his

shirts in the morning, will not. In the long run, he’s a better investment than I.!!This is all very pessimistic, but it is the honest reality, which is where businessmen say they dwell. But this isn’t even all of it - it’s just the beginning. For instance, perception is reality, which boils down to this: men are better at bluffing; women show uncertainty; old men prefer to trust confident young men rather than (seemingly) uncertain young women. !!So, I say fuck it. I don’t buy your system, but I’ll learn it. I’ll work harder and smarter because I’m convinced there’s a way to do it better. For starters- I think your L7 square can take a lesson from the pregnant chick, and get out of the corporate environment, be a little uncertain, and contemplate for like 2 seconds the livelihood of future generations. !!But unfortunately, at least at the present moment, these things are setbacks. Extraneous details. Hurdles. !!What’s ironic is, the female (among Others) is the underdog you marginalize yet say you root for. And what’s more ironic is that we’re more opportunistic than you are. Because we play your game and leave it behind. Unlike you, we enjoy our fucking weekends, and can make babies… and get this: bitches raised you motherfuckers!!!I promise you this: change will be bitch. !!!!!

MEDITATIONS ON THE C WORD (career) !The “work-leisure dichotomy” was purportedly invented in the mid-1800s, which means that the project of blurring the boundaries between work and life has been underway for over 100 years. Arguably, this has culminated in the cursed miracle of technology called the iPhone. God only knows where it will take us next.!!Work-life conflict is not gender-specific, say the studies. Yet work conflict is. The ideal worker in the eyes of most employers is fully dedicated to their work. Thus, their work is their life. In other words, they’re an L7 square. They have no real interests. They mourn their college days, rely on alcohol and watch sitcoms. And because they have no time for life enriching activities like hobbies, causes or interests outside of work, they use their earned income to acquire cultural capital, typically in the form of items like shoes and crisp shirts and shiny vehicles designed by esteemed people, with a steep price tag to reflect their “value.”!!When I see these men in the city, I’d like to stop and ask them: What ladder do you climb? What rung do you stand on? What chair do you sit in? What house will you live in? !!But most importantly is: “Sir — where are you headed?”!!I hate to bring this up. I really do. But as a woman - as a straight young woman of marrying age - most of the ruling Boomers who think the world is fully calculable see me and know - they know - that there’s like an 85% chance I’ll get pregnant and step out of the workforce. Whereas my comrade, the L7 square who trips over himself in excitement to iron his

shirts in the morning, will not. In the long run, he’s a better investment than I.!!This is all very pessimistic, but it is the honest reality, which is where businessmen say they dwell. But this isn’t even all of it - it’s just the beginning. For instance, perception is reality, which boils down to this: men are better at bluffing; women show uncertainty; old men prefer to trust confident young men rather than (seemingly) uncertain young women. !!So, I say fuck it. I don’t buy your system, but I’ll learn it. I’ll work harder and smarter because I’m convinced there’s a way to do it better. For starters- I think your L7 square can take a lesson from the pregnant chick, and get out of the corporate environment, be a little uncertain, and contemplate for like 2 seconds the livelihood of future generations. !!But unfortunately, at least at the present moment, these things are setbacks. Extraneous details. Hurdles. !!What’s ironic is, the female (among Others) is the underdog you marginalize yet say you root for. And what’s more ironic is that we’re more opportunistic than you are. Because we play your game and leave it behind. Unlike you, we enjoy our fucking weekends, and can make babies… and get this: bitches raised you motherfuckers!!!I promise you this: change will be bitch. !!!!!

I work 13 hour shifts 7pm to 8 in the morning. I feel like shit 80 percent of the time because I really don’t sleep much at all. I love what I do, but I feel like a shell of who I am because I am an insomniac. Time is now meaningless to me. There is no bed time, there is no wake time. Its just dark and light. Life is just me laying in my bed, hoping for sleep, alone with my thoughts. In fact. That is what is happening right now. I hate it. I want to scream sometimes “PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, BODY GO TO SLEEP.” I wish I was electronic, and could turn on and off with a timer or the flip of a switch. Anyway about work. Sometimes its really busy, and sometimes its not. When it’s not you have to get creative.!!Things I do at work to make it more fun when it is slow//to stay awake:!!Start Normal Saline IV flush wars with my coworkers.!Pop my coworkers zits extracting the core with sterile subcutaneous needles. I am the house facial specialist.!I have started a special nightly BYOC. Bring your own creamer. Everyone brings a different flavor of coffee creamer and we all share. Its kind of fun I guess.!I make food regularly for everyone. This gives me something to do on my nights off and solidifies my popularity amongst the junk food junkies aka everyone. People love food, and the love that I cater to their salty, buttery desires. !I sing songs to the demented patients to help them relax and sleep. They also compliment me on my singing voice which helps me secretly feel good about myself although their creditability is perhaps questionable. !I dream up vacations, goals, plans and scams. Not really scams that just sounds pretty along with the other words. !Sometimes I organize my wedding party which is really fucking weird and a new behavior for me. Its hard to not think about when everyone is waving their rock in your face. I should probably just adopt a cat. I miss KarenO so much. !

!My mom told me I should not be scared to let someone love me. What lovely pressure. I can’t keep a relationship with these death hours. Anytime I am not at work I just want to sleep or be away.!!I rarely make sense anymore and have become frightened of developing relationships. I think this is because I want to leave and it is always 20 degrees. I really feel like I shouldn’t even submit this silly #dark piece. It’s so far from my usual sunny disposition. I am a day lark, shut in a night owl cage. There is no escape. I think my soul is being sucked away slowly. I just want to come home.

I work 13 hour shifts 7pm to 8 in the morning. I feel like shit 80 percent of the time because I really don’t sleep much at all. I love what I do, but I feel like a shell of who I am because I am an insomniac. Time is now meaningless to me. There is no bed time, there is no wake time. Its just dark and light. Life is just me laying in my bed, hoping for sleep, alone with my thoughts. In fact. That is what is happening right now. I hate it. I want to scream sometimes “PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, BODY GO TO SLEEP.” I wish I was electronic, and could turn on and off with a timer or the flip of a switch. Anyway about work. Sometimes its really busy, and sometimes its not. When it’s not you have to get creative.!!Things I do at work to make it more fun when it is slow//to stay awake:!!Start Normal Saline IV flush wars with my coworkers.!Pop my coworkers zits extracting the core with sterile subcutaneous needles. I am the house facial specialist.!I have started a special nightly BYOC. Bring your own creamer. Everyone brings a different flavor of coffee creamer and we all share. Its kind of fun I guess.!I make food regularly for everyone. This gives me something to do on my nights off and solidifies my popularity amongst the junk food junkies aka everyone. People love food, and the love that I cater to their salty, buttery desires. !I sing songs to the demented patients to help them relax and sleep. They also compliment me on my singing voice which helps me secretly feel good about myself although their creditability is perhaps questionable. !I dream up vacations, goals, plans and scams. Not really scams that just sounds pretty along with the other words. !Sometimes I organize my wedding party which is really fucking weird and a new behavior for me. Its hard to not think about when everyone is waving their rock in your face. I should probably just adopt a cat. I miss KarenO so much. !

!My mom told me I should not be scared to let someone love me. What lovely pressure. I can’t keep a relationship with these death hours. Anytime I am not at work I just want to sleep or be away.!!I rarely make sense anymore and have become frightened of developing relationships. I think this is because I want to leave and it is always 20 degrees. I really feel like I shouldn’t even submit this silly #dark piece. It’s so far from my usual sunny disposition. I am a day lark, shut in a night owl cage. There is no escape. I think my soul is being sucked away slowly. I just want to come home.

Whatrya  doin’

Girl?    You  stayin’  busy?

Don’t  look  like  it…

Hey leave him alone

He’s  mine  n  she’s  busy!

Heyyy now easy!

Don’t  look  at  her!

You wanna see a cat fight?

I  like  cat  fights…

Fine take him!

Never liked him anyway

Sucking men always suck.

I feel like my weird as hell haikus need at least a little  explanation…    I  wanted  to  portray  my  workplace  thru the varied fake (on the verge of real??) dramas that take place. You see, the rez has a sense of humor that outsiders  really  won’t  understand  at first!    One  that’s  sometimes immature, sometimes offensive, humiliating, sarcastic but always hilarious, and (I feel) reflective of a history of abuse. Basically, you roll with the punches and you hit right back!

At work there is a garbage man who always flirts(?) with me and my coworker. Question mark exists because  these  interactions  are  some  of  the  weirdest  I’ve  ever  had…  and  that’s  saying  something!    Since  this  coworker  and  I  share  a  belief  that  you  “just  havta  out  crazy  the  crazies”  we  turned  his unpleasant come-ons into  a  game  we  can  at  least  enjoy.    That’s  right,  instead  of  telling our supervisor or turning his unwanted attention into  a  sexual  harassment  case,  we  pretend  we’re  in  a  love  triangle and act out this drama in real life whenever we cross paths with the garbage man.

And he loves it.

Whatrya  doin’

Girl?    You  stayin’  busy?

Don’t  look  like  it…

Hey leave him alone

He’s  mine  n  she’s  busy!

Heyyy now easy!

Don’t  look  at  her!

You wanna see a cat fight?

I  like  cat  fights…

Fine take him!

Never liked him anyway

Sucking men always suck.

I feel like my weird as hell haikus need at least a little  explanation…    I  wanted  to  portray  my  workplace  thru the varied fake (on the verge of real??) dramas that take place. You see, the rez has a sense of humor that outsiders  really  won’t  understand  at first!    One  that’s  sometimes immature, sometimes offensive, humiliating, sarcastic but always hilarious, and (I feel) reflective of a history of abuse. Basically, you roll with the punches and you hit right back!

At work there is a garbage man who always flirts(?) with me and my coworker. Question mark exists because  these  interactions  are  some  of  the  weirdest  I’ve  ever  had…  and  that’s  saying  something!    Since  this  coworker  and  I  share  a  belief  that  you  “just  havta  out  crazy  the  crazies”  we  turned  his unpleasant come-ons into  a  game  we  can  at  least  enjoy.    That’s  right,  instead  of  telling our supervisor or turning his unwanted attention into  a  sexual  harassment  case,  we  pretend  we’re  in  a  love  triangle and act out this drama in real life whenever we cross paths with the garbage man.

And he loves it.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!

#WKNDGRDY

EDITION

THE

DAILY WEEKEND

APR 2014