Laoghaire InformerDún

June 2010 • Unit 38, Northwood Court, Santry, Dublin 9 • Tel: 01 813 8786 • Email: info@informer.ie • Web: www.informer.ie

Dún Laoghaire • DaLkey • kiLLiney • Monkstown • BLackrock

15,000 copies DeLivereD MonthLy

terry prone interview

page 10

Ms pr

We may not be a position to score at this World Cup but at least we'll have the comfort of some world class comedy to make up for it.

The team from Après Match, Risteard Cooper, Gary Cooke and Barry Murphy (above) will be playing 'Stan' to Bill, John and eamon's 'Ollie' in RTe's coverage of the six-week tournament, although the three veteran pundits might give them a run for the best comedic moments, both witting and unwitting. Sit back and enjoy.

they think it's all après...

Gormley in particular. The tone of the campaign has been vitriolic, to say the least.

Then there was the collapse in the car market. Anyone with half a brain could see that the drop in sales was a response to the eco-nomic collapse. But some people in the car industry managed to blame the Greens' new carbon-based tax rating regime for the meltdown.

I could go on. The Greens have already suffered an electoral drub-bing at the last local elections. They have seen members jump ship as the crisis afflicting Ireland has deepened.

But I think that history will judge the Green Party kindly. Lampooned as sandal-wearing treehuggers, as simply a party of protest, they struck a bargain and stuck with it. They gave Ireland a steady govern-ment during possibly the worse crisis to hit the country since inde-pendence. They have shown balls.

Greens are being unfairly targeted

LAsT month I wrote a front page opinion piece supporting the introdc-tion of water charges. A lot of people didn't agree.

The response was intense with emails and phone calls denouncing what people saw as a "double tax" and a bogus environmental argu-ment. A lot of the reaction was pretty much venting anger with many people having little to say about the issue of water charges but having a go on the banking crisis, the housing bust and so on.

But what really struck me was the level of animosity some people in this country now hold for the Green Party, most of it irrational.

Firstly, for people who hate Fianna Fail (and there are a lot of them), the Greens deserve a special place in hell for keeping Bertie's lot in power. Never mind that the Greens had nothing whatsoever to do with the economic meltdown, they are getting the blame anyway.

Then there is the various issues that the Greens get over-the-top condemnation for. Take the ban on

stag hunting, for example. This is the only animal welfare measure that the Greens are responsible for in five years of coalition (if it lasts). A new organisation called RIsE! (Rural Ireland says Enough) have targeted their campaign at the Greens in general and at John

Front Page OpinionBy Niall Gormley

l Blamed for everything

Pic:

Cia

ran

Finn

water wars - to pay or not to pay?DuBLin chaMBer vs Joe higgins - page 3

2 The Informer

The Drift

Free insulation for the elderly

Dublin Informer Dublin

by

Numbers 448,206This is the number of people liv-ing in County Dublin on census night 1901. All of the records for the census of 1901 (& 1911) are available to the public online at www.census.nationalarchives.ie

in 1901 Antrim had nearly 100,000 more inhabitants than Dublin but now it has less than half Dublin's population0.

EnErgy Action Ltd was established in 1988. The key objective of the organisation is to alleviate fuel poverty in Dublin by provision of insulation in the homes of older people and needy people including all who receive fuel allowance from Department of Social Welfare. In order to qualify for the services, the recipients must be in receipt of a fuel allowance, blind pension or referrals from bona fide organisations; for example, MABS, St. Vincent De Paul, Age Action, Alone or from a gP or health professional.

Energy Action provides a free insulation service in the homes of the elderly and dis-advantaged. The pensioners are befriended and given practical advice as well as being issued with a leaflet on energy saving and a thermometer card.

In 2009, 1,592 houses in the greater Dublin City area received attic insulation, energy advice, energy-saving light bulbs, draught-proofing and other services. The primary benefit to the community is increased comfort due to greater heat reten-tion in their homes. Added to this, however,

is the fact that older people often appreciate being visited by the Energy Action crews, thus helping to combat the sense of isola-tion in the home.

Almost 3,500 households in Dublin 7 postal district and over 1,500 households in Dublin 15 are in receipt of fuel allowance. Energy Action is currently running a pilot project to upgrade many of the qualifying homes in these areas.

Energy Action takes previously long term unemployed people, provides work oppor-tunities in the domestic energy sector and trains them in various skills to enable them gain productive full time employment.Energy Action creates work opportunities for the long term unemployed that are crea-tive, sustainable and ecologically sound.

To ensure delivery of this, they have developed a suite of energy efficiency train-ing modules, including a FETAC Level 5 Installing Insulation module and FETAC Level 5 Energy Management in Domestic Buildings module. In addition, the organi-sation developed an expertise in Building

Energy rating training.Energy Action is currently running the

first dedicated energy efficiency Local Training Initiative on behalf of FÁS, which targets 'green Energy' training modules, providing trainees with a range of skills required to progress into employment in the Domestic Energy Efficiency Sector.

Energy Action has mentored and helped establish 22 Community Based Projects in across Ireland. There are now over 600 people employed in these projects.

Energy Action has also be the forerunner of publishing research reports that included in 1995 "Energy Conservation and Job Creation in The Domestic Sector", followed by "Homes for the 21st Century - a Cost & Benefits of Comfortable Housing for Ireland" in 1999. This was the forerunner of the recent published greenprint for a national Energy Efficiency retrofit Programme.

Contact: Charles Roarty • Tel: 01 4545464Email: manager@energyaction.ie

Campaign Dublin Energy Action

Quotes of the monthThey attacked us in international waters. That was a pure act of piracy in international waters on a peace fleet.Shane Dillon who was on the flotilla of ships bound for Gaza

I deeply regret that the statement I made in Seanad Éireann was not sufficient and with hindsight I would have handled that opportunity differently. I did not furnish enough information and I apologise for that.From Ivor Callely's second statement on his expenses controversy

The greatest environmental disaster of its kind in our historyBarak Obama on the Gulf of Mexico oil leak

Editor: Niall Gormley Unit 38, Northwood Court, Santry, Dublin 9 • info@informer.ie

01 813 8786 • sales@informer.ie • www.informer.ie

Sales Director: Declan Keane • Mobile: 087 9145073

For Advertising Enquiries, please contact Gerard Mobile: 086 021 9625 • Email: gerard@informer.ie

Survey carried out on Tuesday 4th and Wednesday 5th May 2010. This is a “door step” survey. Total number of people interviewed is 200 with 20 residents being interviewed in their homes in each of the areas shown by The NRBI on behalf of Informer

Newspapers. Results published do not reflect the views or the opinions of The Informer Newspapers or any of its employees

Yes noDo you think

politicians are, in general, honest?

Do you think TD’s are worth the money they

are paid?

The Informer Poll

santry

85% 15%

Dublin Total

90% 10% Dublin Total

85% 15%

Lucan

95% 5%

Blanchardstown

95% 5%

Raheny

90% 10%

swords

85% 15%

Rathmines

80% 20%

Rathfarnham

95% 5%

Dún Laoghaire

95% 5%

Dundrum

90% 10%

sandyford

95% 5%

santry

95% 5%

Lucan

90% 10%

Blanchardstown

75% 25%

Raheny

80% 20%

swords

90% 10%

Rathmines

85% 15%

Rathfarnham

85% 15%

Dún Laoghaire

75% 25%

Dundrum

80% 20%

sandyford

95% 5%

The Informer

Dialogue & Debate

The defeat and subsequent abolition of water charges in 1997 was a massive victory for working-class people against an attempt to introduce 'double taxation' in the form of a water tax. There is no doubt that the provision of water costs money but we already pay for this provision through central taxation.

The re-introduction of water charges is not about reducing waste, as Minister Gormley claims, but about foisting the burden of the economic crisis onto house-holders. It is blatantly hypocritical of this Fianna Fail / Green Party government to claim that conservation is their motivation for these charges.

As far back as 1995, the Federation of Dublin Anti-Water Charges Campaigns called on the Government and the County Councils to introduce changes in the Building Bye Laws insisting on the installation of mandatory water saving fea-tures in new homes as well as providing assistance to existing home owners to make modifications. But to this day, despite the fact that up to half of our existing housing stock was built in the past 15 years, the Government has still not taken any measures to introduce mandatory water saving features such as rain and greywater harvesting, dual flush toilets etc.

This time around, in order to offer a thin veneer to their claims of environmen-tal concern, the Government hopes to install water meters in every household in the country and allocate a “free” allowance with charges for exceeding this amount. This regressive taxation will have no impact on the wealthy who made billions in the course of the boom through speculation and the housing bubble. They will remain free to consume as much as they like while ordinary workers, who already face a massive financial burden, will be forced to account for every drop they use.

The Government’s claims that we will only conserve water if we have to pay for it do not stand up to scrutiny. If this is the case, how then can we account for the fact that in the UK, where charges already exist, consumption is actually higher than in Ireland (151 litres per person, per day compared to 149 lpppd)? Or in Denmark, where water consumption is actually increasing despite significant price increases?

The real strain on water resources is not through household wastage but through the vast leakages that exist in our ancient water infrastructure. Average leakage is 41% but as high as 58% in some counties. If the Government was seri-ous about reducing waste, they would immediately create a public works pro-gramme to replace our decrepit pipes which would also provide work for thou-sands of people currently languishing on dole queues.

The introduction of water charges is fundamentally about commoditising water with an eye to the privatisation of this marvellous natural resource as the Socialist Party and others pointed out in the mid-1990s and during the campaign against the bin charges. If the Government proceeds with its plans, the Socialist Party will once again be to the fore in resisting the introduction of this double tax and will mobilise with communities to resist the installation of meters and support a mass non-payment campaign.

Joe Higgins MEP is leader of the Socialist Party

No

3

The winter of 2009/2010 will be remembered as one of the harshest winters in decades. In addition to significant snow fall, we faced severe water shortages that caused months of misery for domestic and business users. Unlike the snow, this was a predictable problem, and one which needs a long-term solution.

The 1.5 million people in the Dublin Region consume 550 megalitres per day (one megalitre would fill one Olympic size swimming pool). By 2031, this is expected

to grow to a demand of 800 megalitres per day. Although the Government invested e3.75 billion on

water treatment schemes between 1994 and 2006, Ireland still faces significant water supply challenges in the medium term. Forfás projections indicate that many cities and towns will be unable to meet demand from as early as 2013. The National Development Plan (NDP) allocated e4.75 billion for water treatment schemes throughout Ireland. however, this investment may be subject to budget cuts.

Government needs a twin-track strategy of continued investment to meet future needs, while measuring water use to incentivise conservation. The winter's water crisis highlighted the need for water meters for all users - both domestic and commercial - and charges must be intro-duced as a matter of urgency.

'Free' water supply for domestic users actually costs e1.2 billion annually. By introducing water meters peo-ple will become conscious of water use and will avoid

wastage. The introduction of the plastic bag levy had a significant impact on the levels of litter on streets in Dublin and other cities and towns across Ireland in a very short space of time. By measuring and paying for water usage we will cut unnecessary waste of valuable water supplies.

A water metering system would also make it easier to detect leaks and enable more targeted investment in the core infrastructure. This is a major issue, as an alarming 43% of treated water is currently lost through leakage in our nine regional gateways and hub towns.

The winter freeze caused a massive spike in water demand due to burst water pipes. Other contributing factors included people leaving taps running to "pre-vent" pipes freezing or people stocking up on water unnecessarily. Many local authorities were forced to reduce water pressure and in some cases cut it off all together leaving many people without any running water as reservoirs were at a critically low level. Furthermore,

businesses ranging from food processors through to restaurants and cafés were forced to close their doors to their customers because they had no water.

The revised Programme for Government commits to the introduction of water meters, and it is vital that this issue is remains a high priority for Minister Gormley. The e2 billion investment programme would also pro-vide much needed stimulus to the construction sector while also being entirely self-funding.

There are no quick fixes to meeting Dublin's water needs. We must fund new investment, and contain demand. International experience shows that applying fair user charges is the best means of delivering this agenda. Without action we will not meet the water requirements of citizens, businesses and our tourist industry in the future. We forget the lessons of the past winter at our peril.

Gina Quin, Chief Executive, Dublin Chamber of Commerce.

Water ChargesYes or No?

Yes

Green Scene4 The Informer

BAD news this week for pro-ponents of organic gardening as the OPWs gardeners in the Phoenix Park decided the only way they could save their pota-to crop was to spray it with chemicals.

The problem seems to have arisen because the OPW gar-deners are new to organic gar-dening and didn’t choose the right potato varieties to resist the blight. They grew British Queen, which is particularly prone to blight attacks, so when warm wet weather arrived it was pretty much guaranteed that their spuds would get sick.

On top of that they thought that organic growers are no longer allowed to use copper based sprays. So they went out and sprayed all their potatoes

with dithane, a chemical which is extremely toxic to aquatic organisms – we hope they’ll be careful with it.

In fact organic growers are still allowed to use copper sul-phate to control blight so long as they are careful to use it at low levels that will prevent build up in the soil.

However, most of Ireland’s organic potato growers, both in home gardens and commercial-ly, seem to be able to manage without sprays, choosing blight resistant varieties, early varie-ties which set their crops before the blight arrives, or by simply cutting off the foliage at the first sign of blight and remov-ing it, thus ensuring that the spores don’t travel down into the soil.

Does it take chemicals to grow spuds?

So did we halt the loss of biodiversity by 2010?MAy 22nd was Un International Day for Biodiversity. And this year the day was even more spe-cial because at the 1992 rio Earth Summit it was decided that 2010 would be International year for Biodiversity, a landmark year when plans made in rio to halt the loss of biodiversity would come to fruition.

By Kathy Marsh, Sonairte

Alas the Un’s ‘Biodiversity Outlook 3’ shows that not one single country globally has met its target.

Ireland signed the Convention on Biological Diversity at rio and produced its first 5-year national Biodiversity Action Plan in 2002. This finished in 2006 and the follow up action

plan, 2008 – 2012 has nearly run out of time... even though it still has not been published! research carried out by the Irish Wildlife Trust shows that most of the actions in the original plan have not been carried out.

Under that plan every Local Authority to have its own Biodiversity Officer but today there are only four, down from the six who were in post two years ago. Furthermore, eight years into the scheme only 12 counties have signed of on their local Biodiversity Action Plans while many have yet to even start the process.

This comes against a back-ground in which Ireland’s habi-tats and species are growing less with every passing year. In 2007 the Department of Environment, Heritage and Local government reported to Europe that only 7% of the most important habitats, and 39% of species had ‘good’ status, while in 2010 the poison-ing of birds of prey is on the increase.

At sea over 80% of our fish stocks are ‘beyond safe biologi-cal limits’ and familiar food spe-

cies such as cod and skate are practically extinct in Irish waters.

On land only 1% of our coun-try is covered with native forest while only 18% of the original peatland cover is of any conser-vation value, with less than 1% of blanket bog remaining.

Does it matter?In a time of financial hardship

should we worry about biodiver-sity?

Ireland’s biodiversity is esti-mated to be worth at least €3 billion per annum to our econo-my for the services it carries out such as water purification, flood control, soil fertilisation, pollina-tion and maintaining air quality.

Biodiversity is the basis of our tourism, fisheries and food indus-tries – likely future growth sec-tors that will provide jobs and bring vitality to local econo-mies.

nature is a hidden asset for the Departments of Health and Justice as studies show that con-tact with the outdoors has direct benefits for public health and social order.

Garden Growing6 The Informer

Gerry Norton, Living Landescapes, 97 Church Avenue,

Drumcondra, Dublin 9Tel: 087-2462724

or emaillivinglandescapes@eircom.net

Finally folks, if you need any information on gardening or if you have any tips or suggestions which I can pass on, please send them to me at livinglandes-capes@eircom.net.

I would be delighted to quote for any/all of your garden require-ments from set-up organic vege-table plots to restoration of neglected gardens, design, plant-ing and maintenance. no charge for initial visit and I will travel within reason.

WELL folks, at last the summer has arrived, and as gardeners, the living is anything but easy! The recent weather has brought eve-rything on so well and this month we can start to enjoy the fruits (and vegetables) of our labours.

Summer tasks for gardeners

tip of the moNthFor a lawn with weeds spray with D50 a herbicide used by farmers and sold in most garden centres. Kills the weeds, not the grass.

It won’t be long before I’ll pick and enjoy my second early pota-toes which have started to flower. It’s best to leave them alone until the flowers, small white clusters, start to fade which will be mid June or thereabouts. Otherwise in

the veg bed we have started to enjoy the wonderful 'cut and come' varieties of lettuce which seem to last forever. The rocket is flourishing in containers and the herbs are adding delicious flavour to our meals. Don’t forget to keep sowing rocket seeds to ensure that you will have more though the summer. My other peas, beetroot and onions are all thriving.

Even though the sun has been shining don’t forget to keep snails and slugs at bay by whatever means you use. They haven’t gone away, though people associ-ate them with damp weather.

This year I have planted some fennel and asparagus at the back of my herbaceous border for effect. Just leave them alone and they produce lovely foliage.

Elsewhere in the garden now is a good time to prune early Clematis such as the Montana. Once they have finished flower-ing they send out masses of shoots which should be cut other-

wise they will take over, unless you want it to cover a bare wall.

The pond is in great shape at the moment. Don’t forget to thin out plants such as oxygenators and lilies otherwise the pond may get stagnant.

Watch out for pests on roses, the usual suspects like green and black fly. There are many ways to get rid of these guys, but person-ally I prefer the method used by one of Ireland's best gardeners Helen Dillon. Helen puts on her rubber gloves and ‘Squishes the blighters’! I don’t like using sprays as they can damage the leaves. Another way is to spray the leaves with soapy water but it’s not very effective.

June is a good time to tidy up spring flowering plants and bulbs.

Also lift and divide overgrown clumps. The country seems to be alive with hanging baskets and windows boxes. Always remem-ber to keep dead heading and feed every two weeks to ensure flowering for months to come.

Lawns at this time of year need a lot of watering and now is a good time to give faded lawns a liquid feed but don’t over do it as you could scorch the grass.

While driving around the city and county as I do on my way to different gardens, I have noticed a vast amount of waste land, land which could be used to grow vegetables or simply transformed into a nice space for locals to enjoy. Have a look around your neighbourhood and I bet you will see what I’m talking about. get together with some of your neigh-bors and see if you can get per-mission from the council or own-ers of the land to set something up. It will mean hard work, but it could be the start of something wonderful in your local area.

With Gerry Norton

The Informer

Garden Growing www.WebDesignIreland.biz

Your Website Ready:✔ Proven Quality✔ 100s Of Happy Users✔ Used By World Brands✔ Full Of Features✔ Uniquely Designed✔ Great Value For Money✔ 10 Page Website €256 €496✔ Designed And Installed

01

-44

33

84

1WeBsItes FOR All neeDs: family blog, small business,

e-commerce or corporate website

CLAIM YOUR DISCOUNT TODAY WITH A CODE “INFORMER”

ONLY 20 CUSTOMERS!Email: office@webdesignireland.bizl Roses need attention, mainly deadheading. Roses also enjoy a good fertilizer, one high in potash but

not a nitrogen based one as this will result in sappy growth which is prone to pests and diseases

APArT from all our wonderful veg, gardens are at their very best right now and there are lots of things to do to keep us busy. Deadheading can be tiresome, but it's important as it means you may get a second flush on certain plants and it encourages flower-ing to continue. you can also prune any shrubs that flowered in late spring or early summer.

It's also a good time to gently trim conifers, but try to make sure that there are no nests in the hedge or tree as the birds may

desert the nest. now is the time to plant autumn flowering bulbs such as autumn flowering crocus and nerines which are originally from South Africa but will flow-er very well here especially if the weather continues to be sunny in late summer and autumn.

Keep a very close eye out for pests and diseases at this time of year. green and Black fly multi-ply very fast and I find the best way to get rid of them is with your hands, with rubber gloves simply squish them.

you can also spray soapy water

on the leaves. Do try to keep away from chemical sprays, they do more harm than good in my mind. Insect, fungal or bacterial attack may well be a symptom of other underlying problems with a plant.

roses need attention now also, mainly deadheading, as this will prolong their display.

roses also enjoy a good ferti-lizer, one that is high in potash but not a nitrogen based one as this will result in sappy growth which is prone to pests and dis-eases.

Personal Finance8 The Informer

Andrew Russell is a Qualified Financial Adviser and Managing Director of squaremile Financial Consultants Ltd. he provides financial advice to private sector employees and the self employed. in addition to this he specialises in assisting public sector employees improve their retirement benefits.

Contact:Andrew Russell, Managing Director, squaremile Financial Consultants. T: 087 287 5256 • E: andrew@squaremile.ie • W: www.squaremile.ie

Choosing the right health insurance for you In recent weeks the well document financial troubles of one of the countries largest insurers has thrown the spotlight on health insurance. Worried policyholders who have been busy searching for alternative plans have found it difficult to make the right decision as there are now over 190 products on sale in the country.

There are a few key facts about health insurance that everybody should know. Firstly, you have the right to change your health insur-ance plan or insurer at any time and your age or your health will not

affect your premium. If you have served your waiting period with your existing insurer you will not have to serve a further waiting period with your new insurer, unless you have chosen an increased level of cover under your new plan.

One little known fact that can make a huge difference to the quality of your cover is that an insurer must sell you any product that is cur-rently being marketed. This means that an individual can purchase any company or business plan that is available even if you are not a mem-

ber of a company scheme.This opens up an avenue to some fantastic products. For example,

my family and I chose a business plan which provides e40 back each time one of us visits a doctor or dentist with just a e1 excess on these benefits.

This plan suits our current needs but wouldn’t necessarily be right for another family. There are key questions you should ask yourself before selecting a plan. Firstly do you want cover for a public hospital or a private hospital? Do you want money back when you visit a doc-tors, dentist, physiotherapist etc? And finally are you willing to pay a lower premium subject to having certain excess amounts on your policy?

This will help you cut through the myriad of plans to be able to compare just a few. Alternatively of course you can consult a broker specialising in this subject. not only will they be able to help guide you through the maze to the type of plans that suit your needs, they should also be able to inform you of the ‘tricks of the trade’, such as how to get free cover for two years for a newborn.

I’d be delighted to visit you at home to help you review your health insurance and the options available to you. There is no fee for this service and a consultation can be arranged by contacting me on 087 287 5256 or by email at andrew@squaremile.

Thinking of Extending or Building a New Home...

or converting your attic?

Please call

085 2862987or 087 7580438

for a freeQuotation

Extending Your HomeA well designed and built extension provides you with extra living space that blends seemlessly into your house and directly increases its value.

PlanningPlanning permission is only required if your extension is greater than 40 square metres.

Complete ServiceW&R Construction is a registered general contractor specialising in providing build services for custom home, residential remodeling projects and external improvements.

The company has a solid reputation based on the principles of integrity, commitment, and innovation and has a proven track record in the construction industry.

We base our homes around the things that matter to you, combining value with attention to detail. Honest, reliable, and professional, you can count on W&R Construction and its team of skilled workers to help you build the home of your dreams.

If you are considering building or remodeling your home we believe we can assist you removing the stress, uncertainty and expense of your construction venture and would welcome the opportunity to visit you and provide you with a free quotation for your project.

W&R Construction 73 Hunterswood, Osberstown,

Naas, Co. Kildare Phone: 085 2862987 or 087 7580438

Email: wandrconstruction@gmail.com

w&rcon_259x155.indd 1 09/06/2010 15:19:50

Informer Interview10 The Informer

Are you married, children?Very much so. godalmighty, 35 years. One son. Anton Savage. My boss.

Where did you grow up?Clontarf, Dublin 3.

First paid-for job?Panellist on Teen Talk, a TV programme presented by Bunny Carr. I was thirteen years old. The money was stunning - just for having opinions.

What made you interested in getting into a life of PR?I was never interested in getting into Pr. I was going to be a stunning actor with the Abbey Theatre. Became a member of the Theatre com-pany in my teens. Then went into radio/TV. Then started to write books. Then moved into media training. Then into communications consultancy.

Who was your first major client as a PR Consultant, explain?Two of my favourite clients I’ve worked with for thirty years. A pharma company which demands secrecy and KPMg. I wouldn’t call them Pr clients, though - much broader communications brief.

In your own opinion, why do you think it is important for a com-pany or someone in the public eye to have a PR consultant looking after their affairs, what are the benefits, explain?Let me get picky with your question. It’s not just companies or people in the public eye who need communications experts advising them. Most of the Communications Clinic clients don’t want publicity and aren’t ever likely to do something bad enough to need Pr rescue from.

All companies need to constantly improve their internal and exter-nal communications – how they deal with customers and staff. What their building says about them. The way their phones are answered. The kind of letters they send. Their web-site. Who, in political terms, they might have to influence. How to communicate their philan-thropic moves.

Internal communication is by a country mile more important than getting your name in the paper. Companies that communicate well with the people that matter to them are better places to work, make profit, survive downturns and are admired by customers. you don’t do that by press release.

Do you ever get nervous when speaking in public?More nervous with every passing year. In the early days I was less nervous, because I didn’t care as much.

When you know the livelihood of a sizeable company of good peo-ple could be adversely reflected by you making a public disaster of yourself, you get more scared. night before any speech/conference I have nightmares.

What was the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you in your career?The day I got mad with a CEO in my office, said “Bloody nonsense” to him and shot the crown off my front tooth at him. He ducked and it went over his head. When, with a mouth like a witch, I leaped up to retrieve it, my half-slip fell off. He stayed a client. (I suspect in the hope something that like might happen in later meetings.) I gave up crowns (David Harris at the Blackrock Clinic does mighty implants) and half-slips.

Which clients do you, or have enjoyed working with the most?Clever, open, funny people who don’t think success requires them to

Ms PR

become pompous or to sit back with a 'prove it to me' expression on them. People who listen and learn. People who are honest and don’t need to be flattered. People who read or have some absorbing hobby other than making money.

What are the strengths of this government?Experience. Knowing the system inside out. Doing the best they can.

What do you think are the weaknesses of this government?Been there a long, long time. Opposition isn’t The End. It’s the begin-ning of a refreshed new phase.

Terry Prone has become an icon of the modern

communications industry. Kevin O'Brien talked to her

about her work in PR.

Do you think any of the opposition parties would make a good replacement for the current government? yes. Fine gael and Labour have a rake of bright people and a lot of energy.

Do you think there should be a general election now?There’s never a good time to have a general election. In theory, now would be a good time, because it might provide a final lancing of the boil of rage/betrayal/frustration. Or it might not.

Have you ever considered running for government, explain?never. Would rather be dead. I think the job of a TD is the job from hell, and the job of a Minister, while better paid (and you get better wheels) is worse, because everybody blames you for everything, you never have a minute to yourself and everybody thinks you have more power than you actually have.

Politicians are the most under-appreciated professionals in Ireland and I have no desire to join them. I would love to be a Senator, before Enda Kenny closes the Seanad down. Lovely job, lovely setting, lovely title.

What’s the most memorable thing to ever happy to you?Meeting and marrying Tom Savage. Changed everything for the bet-ter.

What annoys Terry Prone?Very little. I have to work up to getting annoyed for radio programmes and columns, because am disgustingly happy/content/grateful with and for my lot. get a bit floored by interviewers who, when a politi-cian has been discovered to have done something complicated and disastrous, ask me: “How would you advise Minister X?” As in: “you have 30 seconds to sum up what might take a day to achieve...”

What are the benefits to any company looking to hire a PR con-sultant?If the company picks right, every aspect of their business will be improved. Communications is not a soft-and-fuzzy extra pasted on at the end. It runs through everything.

There are lots of public relations companies who claim to be the best at what they do. What sets your company, the Communications Clinic apart from these?We never go for awards or any of that stuff, and we never get into claim and counterclaim.

Here’s the facts. We set up two years ago, in the teeth of a recession. We didn’t market. We didn’t have to. Old clients followed us, unasked. They told other companies about us. The other companies came to us, too. We had to recruit staff earlier this year. We work like dogs at a job we love and our building is always awash with laugh-ter.

Lots of small Irish businesses are struggling to survive, what advice would you give to them to help them get through this cur-rent economic climate?One day at a time. Hope. Denial. And hang around with optimists. Any fool can look at your balance sheet and give you the bad news.

What you need is someone who sees impossible possibilities and doesn’t bore the arse off you telling you cutting the bill for your inkjet cartridges is vital for the future of your business.

If you could have lunch with three people, past or present, who would you chose and why?you have to let me do couples. Enda Kenny and Fionnuala, Padraig Flynn and Dorothy and Anton Savage and Cathy.

"What you need is someone who sees impossible

possibilities and doesn’t bore the arse off you telling you

cutting the bill for your inkjet cartridges is vital for the future of your business"

All About Dublin (1)12 The Informer

A place in the cityCruagh Watchtower

THE locality of Cruagh was described by Lewis as follows:

'This parish is situated on the river Owendugher, a branch of the Dugher or Dodder river, by which it is sepa-rated from the parish of Whitechurch,. and comprises 4,762 statute acres, of which 2,400 are mountain, includ-ing 400 acres of good acres. Killakee, the residence of S. White Esq., is a spacious mansion, situated in a tastefully embellished demesne, with a well-wooded glen through which a mountainous stream rushes with great force over its rocky bed,. and surrounded by a winding road, several miles in cir-cuit commanding some magnificent views of the City and bay of Dublin, with the hill of Howth, Ireland's Eye, of the mountain of Mourne in the distance which are distinctly visible in clear weather... '

The watch tower, a grim reminder of the past, stands partly on the site of the church on a steep slope surrounded by a high wall, which encloses the old ceme-tery of over ninety headstones. There is a chamber below ground-level with access to the upper chambers. The openings on the upper part of the outer wall gave a wide view of the surrounding country-

side -vitally important given that the function of this tower was to protect the cemetery from body snatchers.

Prior to the Anatomy Act of 1832, there was a serious shortage of human bodies for dissection both here, and in the UK. The only solution to make up for this shortfall was to go out in the dark of night and dig up a hopefully fresh corpse. This was carried out by either medical students or by professional body snatch-ers who were known by various names like resurrectionists, sack-'em up men' or stiffy lifters. The Dublin gazette carried various reports of such incidents in the 1750s.

This page was researched with the help of

BEAUTY PACKAGE 110Facial, back massage with pedicure and manicureMini Microdermabrasion 50Full Microdermabrasion 85GEL TOES (lasts all summer!!) 35MINI SPA PACKAGE 65Pedicure, manicure and eyebrow shapeTAN 25

TAN & NAILS �35

Summer Specials

25% OFF ALL WAXINGPurchase any treatments over €100

AND RECEIVE FREE BODY SCRUB!

MALAHIDE 01 8283901PORTMARNOCK 01 8038592

MONDAYS 50% OFFALL REGULAR PRICED TREATMENTS

EXCLUDES VOUCHERS AND SPECIAL OFFERS

oceana_127x165.indd 1 01/06/2010 13:32:22

Edited by Zoz

Dublin: A Historical Sketch Of Ireland's Metropolis (1853). Published by the Religious Tract and Book Society.

THE earliest authentic notice of Dublin occurs in the geography of Ptolemy, who flourished in the second century. He marks "Eblana" just where Dublin at present stands, and he describes it as a city. The people inhabiting the range northward as far as the river Boyne, including part of Meath, he calls "Eblani," probably as belonging or subject to "Eblana," though some conjecture that the place took its name from the people, not the people theirs from the place.

That the words "Dublin" and "Eblana" were at first one, is obvious. Indeed, it has been more than sup-posed that a letter has been lost from the original, and that Ptolemy wrote "Deblana."

"Dublin" is composed of two Irish words - "Dubh," black, and "Linn," water - the river which here empties itself into the sea being of a dark col-our from its flowing over a bog.

The city was otherwise called "Ath-Cliath," the "Hurdle-Ford," and "Bally

Ath-Cliath," the "Town of the Hurdle-Ford." Both names indicate that a pas-sage was here made or marked by "hurdles" across the stream. Tradition reports that it was constructed for more safely conveying sheep from one side to the other; but whether it had at all the form of a "suspension-bridge" the account does not explain.

"A fourth name given to the city in olden time, was "Droom-Choll-Coil," the "Brow of a Hazel-Wood," from its occupying the upper front of a rise of ground, other parts of which were covered with a wood of the kind men-tioned.

"Dublin must have been in Ptolemy's day, by report at least, a place of some size and importance, or he would not have styled it a "city." We should, however, greatly mistake if we con-ceived it to have been then an aggrega-tion of houses, streets, and public buildings, such as the word suggests to us now.

"The ancient Irish were at no trouble in providing for themselves habita-tions of solid and lasting materials. Their houses were built of twigs and hurdles, and covered with sedge or straw."

Buildings of stone and mortar are believed to have been unknown in Ireland before the sixth century. For the introduction of what we call " architecture," the country is indebted to Christianity.

The population . . . were unacquaint-ed with our often costly and trouble-causing superfluities of boarded floors, glazed windows, paved ways, gas-lights, scavengering, sewerage, and police, matters which we moderns are apt to reckon among the necessaries of life.

Let the reader, for a moment, in his conception sweep away the present "Dublin;" then group, without much regard to order, a few hundred "cab-ins," some of them larger than the rest, along the upper part of the range front-ing the Liffey, from Cork-hill to Bridge-street; next, clothe the top and southern descent of the ridge with a hazel-wood, which he may also carry round the eastern and western sides of the "city," and along between it and the river; finally, let him place a "hur-dle-ford" where Whitworth Bridge now stands; and he will perhaps have a correct an idea of Ptolemy's "Eblana".

How Dublin got its many names...

Course Director: Tony Hynes MBS, B.Comm., FCIPD, FCILT, FIITDContact: 087-6363003; 086-2458379; tony@cpc.ie

CPC.IE"A Career in Transport"

Transport Management CPC - Weekend CourseGreen Isle Hotel, Dublin • Starts 9th July

Now Booking - Places Available

FREE Drive CPCDriver CPC - 30 Venues Nationwide

In these very challenging times, transport and logistics offers many excellent opportunities for those wishing to access employ-ment in this fundamentally important economic sector.

The Certificate of Professional Competence (CPC) in Transport Management (which is obligatory if you want to put your own truck or bus on the road) is increasingly becoming a prerequisite to pursuing a career in transport.

As well as enhancing your career, qualifying you as a Transport Manager and up-skilling, it is also an internationally recognised qualification for life. If you are unemployed or facing the loss of your job you may be entitled to funding for the course from your local FAS, Local Employment Offices (Obair) or Social Welfare.

Certified by the Chartered Institute of Transport & Logistics the subjects covered in the course include: setting up and managing a transport business; effective marketing techniques; employ-ment, health and safety and contract law; costing/pricing and financial management; tachograph and hours of driving legisla-tion; national and international documentation etc. Approved CPC courses in Transport Management are run at weekends by Tony Hynes who has successfully put thousands of students through the CPC exam by using his own specially developed materials and his unique dynamic delivery style.

Tony runs his “nationally acclaimed” CPC Course at weekends and he has only a few places left on his next courses which are commencing on 2nd July at the County Arms Hotel in Birr and on 9th July at the Green Isle Hotel, Clondalkin.

If you wish to obtain further information you can contact Tony at 086-2458379, tony@cpc.ie or visit his dedicated website at www.CPC.ie.

Certificate in Transport

Management

The Informer

IF you are seriously interested in the history of Glasnevin Cemetery the new Museum there is not for you (it's all bells and whistles and little snippets of juvenile information).

However, if you have kids who are into everything macabre (body-snatching, rats, decay etc.) there is probably no better place to bring them on a wet afternoon.

The main attractions are in the basement which has lots of screens to touch, various gloomy exhibits, and the man-datory slide show (which, among many other pieces of trivia, notes that in the early days of the cemetery the gravediggers used shovels with long handles!).

A side room houses a bland display concerning cremation. Skipping the ground floor which contains a shop and a cafe, the first floor is currently showing an exhibition "Robbery on the Road - the Post Office in Ireland," which sounds more interesting than it actually is. Here, too, is a chance to identify various graves (including that of the original Zozimus!) and, with the help of lots of technol-ogy, a chance to find out something about their lives.

You can also do a computer search for those buried there - there is an additional charge. For a better understanding of the cemetery, check out 'Glasnevin, Ireland's necropolis,' by Shane Mac Thomáis (the cemetery's resident historian and a tour guide there) - it is available from the shop, priced e15.

The Museum is open 10am-5pm Monday to Friday, and 11-6pm on other days. Admission is e6 (family tickets are available).

Glasnevin Cemetary Museum Review by ZozHow Dublin got its many names...

All About Dublin (2)14 The Informer

Silver from the Devil?

In a memoir of the late Dr. Adam Clarke, published in 1833, by "A member of his Family," there is a very curious transaction recorded respecting alchemy.

Dr. Clarke was distinguished both for learning - he was a keen scientist and experimenter - and piety. He was an influential mem-ber of the body of Christians denominated Wesleyan Methodists. During his engagement in his min-isterial duties at Dublin, he became acquainted with a gentleman named Hand who had been for many years engaged in the study of Alchemy; trying every experi-ment, which the various books he could obtain on the subject, and his own active imagination, suggest-ed.

Mr. Hand now sought an intro-duction to Mr. Clarke, and the result was, that an intimacy was established, which soon ripened into friendship; and as the alche-mist possessed a good laboratory, he and Mr. Clarke were frequently engaged in making experiments

together. After Mr. Clarke had left Dublin, Mr. Hand continued to correspond with him. Among those letters is one dated Dublin, Dec. 2, 1792. He says,:

On the 2nd of november last, came to my house two men; one I thought to be a priest, and yet believe so; the other a plain, sedate-looking man. As soon as I went to them, the last-mentioned person said he had called to see some of my stained glass. After much conversation, he began to speak of metals, and their proper-ties, and of Alchemy, asking me if I had ever read any books of that kind (but I believe he well knew that I had).

After some time, and many com-pliments passing on my ingenious art, they went away. At noon the following day, he came back alone, and told me he had a little matter that would stain glass the very colour I wanted, and which I could never get, that is, a deep blood-red.

Entering my laboratory he said: "Sir, do not deceive me, you are an alchemist." "Why do you think so?" said I. "Because," he replied,

"you have as many foolish vessels as I have seen with many others engaged in that study." "I have," I answered, "worked a long time at it, it is true, without gain, and I should be glad to be better instruct-ed." " Do you believe the art?" said he. "yes, sir." He smiled. "Will you have this air-furnace lighted?" "yes, sir."

I did so, and he then asked for a bit of glass, opened a box, and turning aside, laid a little red pow-der on the glass with a penknife. He then put the glass with the powder on it into the fire, and when hot, took it out, and the glass was like blood. "Have you scales?" said he. I got them for him, and some lead, of which he weighed two ounces. He then put four grains of a very white powder in a bit of wax, and when the lead was

melted, put this into it, and then raised the fire for a little while, then took it out, and cast it into water: never was finer silver in the world!

"Shall I show you something wonderful?" he inquired. Taking a glass of clean water, he pulled out a bottle, and dropped a red liquid into it, and said something I did not understand. The water was all a blaze of fire, and a multitude of little live things like lizards, mov-ing about in it.

"now, sir," said he, "if you will enter into a vow with me, as I see you are an ingenious man, I will let you know more than you will ever find out on your own. This I declined, being fully convinced it was the work of the devil. After some little time, he said he must go, and would call again, when I should think better of his offer. He left me the two ounces of hina (the alchemical name for silver), and I have never since seen nor heard from him.(An adapted extract from "An account of the infan-

cy, religious, and literary life of Adam Clarke," edited by the Rev. J. B. B. Clarke M.A. Published

by B. Waugh and T. Mason, New York. 1833)

FIRST HAND HISToRyWrITEr Paul Hiffernan was born in Dublin in 1719, received the first part of his education in the city, before being packed off to a college in the south of France from where, it was planned, he would emerge a roman Catholic priest. Instead he took a degree in medicine before returning to Dublin after 17 years. He had, however, no interest being a doctor, being "possessed of an unconquerable love of indo-lence and dissipation."

Instead he took to writing, in particular for 'The Tickler', a Dublin political paper. Those he praised looked after him, and those he denounced were powerless against him for a time.

But times change and Hiffernan was forced to move to London, the alternatives being injury or burial. There he made a hand-to-mouth living by writing pamphlets, doing a bit of translating, and even though the term was unknown then, a bit of Public relations for upcoming painters and actors.

He enjoyed temporary success with his book "Dramatic genius," and then promptly ruined his chanced of further literary success with "The Philosophic Whim," - described by one critic as "the man must be mad or drunk who wrote it."

He had several eccentricities, one being that he never revealed his lodgings (in fairness, he appears to have been homeless some of the time and spent his nights in The Bedford coffee-house or some other all-night establishment.

He died in London in June 1777. He had many friends and just as many enemies - his main crime in the eyes of those who loathed him was that he rather enjoyed wasting his time.

Lesser known Dubs

Edited by Zoz

Paul Hiffernan

16 The Informer

Health & Beauty

Beauty Ideas With Linda Mullenof Oceana Health & Beauty

Phone: 01-8283901

for any beauty and product info email linda@oceana-spa.com and i will get back to you with what to do and where to buy!!!

No problem too big or too small!!

Dealing with hyperpigmentationHyPErPIgMEnTATIOn occurs when patches of skin become darker than the surrounding areas. Sun spots are one of the most common forms of uneven skin tone and there's no hiding, they are ugly.

How does Microdermabrasion get rid of Hyper Pigmentation?

From what I understand, une-venly pigmented skin cells are stuck on the skin's surface which means skin resurfacing proce-dures can easily get to and

remove them to uncover normal-ly pigmented skin underneath. Of all these treatments for getting rid of uneven skin tone, microderm abrasion is, without a doubt, the least invasive procedure. What microbrasion does is peel off a very fine layer of skin by sand-blasting it with a flow of alumi-num oxide micro crystals.

you wouldn't think that would be enough to even out skin tone but it does help. In some cases, though, these cells are deeper in the skin and not so easily removed with microderm abrasions.

My darker sun spots, for exam-ple, saw an improvement but did not fade completely. If you have severe hyper pigmentation (and by that I mean darker patches) you may have to look at other treatments.

Microdermabarasion also improves cell turnover which helps with the irregular pigmen-tation (so long as it's the superfi-cial kind). The quicker old, une-venly pigmented cells are shed, the quicker they are replaced by

new, normally-pigmented skin cells.

Many people try micro derma-brasion once and give up in dis-appointment. Because this exfo-liation is so superficial you can expect to see results after 10-12 abrasions.

Treatments for Hyperpigmentation RemovalI really thought I'd need laser

to get rid of my sun spots but, fortunately, they were very small and faded away nicely with microdermabrasion. you, how-ever, may have other, more seri-ous forms of uneven skin tone so here's a short list of available treatments:➢ Laser resurfacing - normal

laser skin resurfacing works

by evaporating the first few layers of damaged skin to leave behind a fresh, evenly toned skin. Hydroquinone or mild chemical peels are often recommended before laser resurfacing for best results.

➢ Intense Pulsed Light - IPL is a type of laser that leaves no scars, can sometimes heal freckles or other mild sun spots without using peels or hydroquinone creams before-hand.

➢ Hydroquinone Creams - They bleach the skin by slowing down the production of melanin. Dark spots fade in a few weeks. They are usually used for hyper pig-

mentations which are not caused by hormonal changes.

➢ Hydroxy Acid Peels - They increase cell renewal rate and correct hyperpigmentation marks. Alpha Hydroxy Acids (AHAs) are water soluble acids and can help remove hyperpigmentation, while Beta Hydroxy Acids (BHAs) are lipid soluble acids and increase the rate of exfolia-tion but are not particularly known to remove hyperpig-mentation.

➢ Physician Formulas - These are more expensive skin pig-mentation treatments but are very effective (Kinerase, retin A, renova, Avita etc).

See Directory of Drivers on our web site

www.angelcabs.ieCall our Drivers Direct!

See Directory of Drivers on our web site

www.angelcabs.ieCall our Drivers Direct!

Female Taxi Drivers

Female Taxi Drivers

Beauty this summer

Microdermabrasion e70

Shellac Manicure (with free cuticle oil) e30

Fake Bake Spray tan e35

Beauty salon requires a

BEAuTy THERAPIST

Min two years salon experience is essential

••••Fully qualified in all aspects of beauty

••••Dermalogica and

advanced waxing a plus

Send cv to info@oceana-spa.com

have you got news

for us?Have you got a local

news story you would like covered?

Email the newsdesk:

news@informer.ie

17 The Informer

Family FocusWhat are the best foods for my child?

THErE’S a lot of talk these days about childhood obesity being linked to inactivity and children eating the wrong foods. So what should we be giving our children to eat?

To satisfy the appetites of chil-dren, parents need to have a con-stant supply of foods that are packed with energy and high in nutrients. The average child’s diet should include:n Plenty of fruit and vegetables.n Plenty of carbohydrates like

breakfast cereals, potatoes, pasta, rice and bread.

n Plenty of milk and dairy prod-ucts.

n Some protein-rich foods like meat and fish, beans, nuts and seeds.

n Few sweets and crisps – only as a treat.

Big breakfastFor good learning capacity and

concentration right through the morning make sure children have breakfast. This will top up the body’s blood sugar after an over-night fast, and many breakfast

foods are packed with vitamins and minerals. Try cereal and milk, boiled eggs, toast and jam, bread and cheese, beans on toast, pancakes and butter, yoghurt and fruit.

Lovely lunchMake lunchtime fun by pack-

ing interesting sandwiches in children’s lunchboxes. Try differ-ent types of bread such as whole-meal, baps, bagels, pittas and French stick and vary healthy

protein-rich fillings. Tinned tuna with tomato and onion, grated cheddar with cucumber, egg and onion, cheese and pickle and are all good combinations and easy to make.

For added calcium include a yoghurt or fromage frais in their lunchbox and fruit for a sweet treat. Fruit juice is another good food to add to a lunchbox, but go for those that are 100% fruit juice with no added sugar added.

After-school snacksParents often find that kids are

very hungry when they get home from school, but they don’t want to ruin their apetite for dinner. Try a small portion of the follow-ing which are quick to make – cereal and milk, soup, toast and cheese or beans.

Healthy choicesTry to reduce children’s salt

intake by cooking fresh foods at mealtimes and limiting sweets and crisps to treats.

Make sure kids get enough fibre in their diet to prevent con-stipation and keep away hunger

By Lucy Taylor pangs. go for the wholegrain and wholewheat versions of cereals, bread, pasta. give them plenty of fruit and vegetables like jacket potatoes and cook with more pulses like baked beans. For a snack go for wholewheat biscuits and muesli bars.

Children who partake in sport will need plenty of fluids such as water, milk and juices to keep hydrated and high carbohydrate snacks such as sandwiches, scones and fruit cakes, cereal and milk, yoghurt and fromage frais and fruit.

Coping with faddy eatersIf you child is picky and sometimes refuses food, follow these tips:

n Stay cool. If your child refuses to eat, just say OK and give them nothing till their next meal. If they're hungry, they will eat. Don’t panic and offer alternatives.

n Examine their eating over time. It's normal for a young child to eat very little some days and more on others.

n Make it easy. Leave healthy snacks where your child can access them easily. A bowl of cut up fruit and vegetables they can reach is a good idea.

n Give them time. Some children are just very slow eaters and putting them under pressure could actually worsen the situation.

n Keep it simple. Don’t exaggerate your existing frustrations by spending hours preparing complicated meals. Simple things like cheese and tomato on toast, beans on toast, mashed potato are just as healthy.

n Don't worry. Faddy eating is usually a phase your child will grow out of. However, if you are concerned that your child is not getting enough nourishment or is losing weight, see your GP.

18 The Informer

Dublin Sport

1. Duffing Chips (hitting the ground before the ball)?There is nothing more annoying than planning a chip shot to the hole only to hit the ground first and see the ball travel only a few inches! If this is familiar, follow these golden rules for setting up to a chip shot and you will never duff again…• Position the ball back in your stance ie,

towards your back foot.• Lean towards the target.• Push your hands ahead of the ball.

These three little checkpoints ensure you hit the ball with a descending blow and so long as you don’t panic or flick with your wrists, you are on to a winner.

2. Iron shots coming up short?Surveys have shown that 80% of iron shots come up short of the flag.

This has nothing to do with your swing, or your strength, or dodgy golf balls! This, has to do with a tactical error that nearly everyone makes. You’re taking the wrong

club! When you play your next round of golf, resolve to take an extra club for each iron shot, ie. a 5 iron instead of a 6 iron. I GUARAnTEE you will lower your scores.

3. Bunker shots inconsistent? Greenside bunker shots demand that you open the clubface and hit the sand an inch and a half behind the ball making a full follow through.

Presuming you do this already, I am about to give you an unbelievably simple tip that will make a huge difference to your game.

I have discovered that nearly everyone moves their gaze, during the swing, between the ball and the part of the sand that they intend to hit. This leads to inconsistency and variable results. Focus your eyes on a grain of sand behind the ball and keep your gaze fixed on it throughout your swing. Your shots will seriously improve.

Robert Hogan PGA

Golf Lessons 085-1698340

hitting the fairways WitH RobERt HoGan

three common faults that stop you from playing great golf

Parnells’ get permission for new €20m project

PArnELLS’ gAA club in Coolock has gained planning permission for a state of the art sports facility in Coolock village.

The e20M development includes two all weather pitches as well as a full size sand-based grass pitch, a sports hall with a championship-sized basketball court, a fully equipped gym, a sports therapy centre as well as a new modern clubhouse with a flexible function room facility.

Club Chairman Frank gleeson said everyone in the club was overjoyed at the decision. “Parnells’ was established in 1893 and this fantastic project

must be seen as a key development in our proud history. This club draws its strength from that proud history and the support of the local commu-nity” he said.

It is estimated that 200 people will be employed during the construction phase of the project while it will generate up to €5 million in wages for the local community. On completion the club will employ 10 staff full-time and 20 part-time. As part of the arrangement between Parnells’ and the Marists, pupils at Chanel College will have use of the new facilities.

More Laffs

19 The Informer

Dublin DistractionsCrossword1 2 3 4 5 6 7

8 9

10

11 12

13 14 15 16

17 18 19 20

21

22 23

24 25

Across1 - Always in similar role (8)

6 - Settee (4)

8 - Bubbles (6)

9 - Word that qualifies (6)

10 - Very cold (3)

11 - Fresh water (4)

12 - County in SE England (6)

13 - Rigid bars (6)

15 - Unit of capacity (6)

17 - Hoarding bird (6)

20 - Bree (anag) (4)

21 - Mother of the ancient Irish gods (3)

22 - Food accompaniments (6)

23 - Chest (6)

24 - Comes together; coheres (4)

25 - Formal meal (8)

Down2 - Distance (7)

3 - Consumed (5)

4 - Aids (7)

5 - Shallow carrying containers (5)

6 - More than two (7)

7 - Asset (5)

14 - Anticipates (7)

15 - Jelly substance (7)

16 - Aromatic herb (7)

18 - Rouse (5)

19 - Tripod for artist (5)

20 - Voting compartment (5)

suRRogaTe FaTheR

THE Clancy’s were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.

On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr Clancy kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon". Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hop-ing to make a sale.

Good morning madam. I've come to...." "Oh, no need to explain. Come in," Mrs. Clancy cut in.

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, my specialty is babies."

"That is what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat."

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

Photographer - "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too. You can really spread out!"

Wife - "Bathtub, couch, bed, living room floor? no wonder it didn't work for my husband and me."

Photographer - "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time." But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

Wife - "My, my, that's a lot of...."Photographer - "Madam, in my line of

work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."

Wife (muttering) - "Don't I know it."The photographer opened his briefcase

and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pic-tures. "This was done on the top of a bus."

Wife - "Oh my!"Photographer - "And these twins turned

out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

Wife - "She was difficult?"Photographer - "Yes, I'm afraid so. I

finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."

Wife - "Four and five deep?" (Eyes wide in amazement).

Photographer - "Yes, and for more than three hours, too. The mother was con-stantly squealing and yelling - I could hard-ly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equip-ment, I just packed it all in."

Wife (leaning forward) - "You mean they actually chewed on your ...equipment?"

Photographer - "That's r ight. Well ,

madam, if you are ready, I will set up my tripod so that we can get to work"

Wife - "Tripod?"Photographer - "Oh yes, I have to use a

tripod to rest my Canon on. It is much too big for me to hold very long. Madam? Madam? Oh no,she's fainted!"

BaBY TRouBLePETER and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural part of Carlow with no running water, no electricity, etc. One night, Peter’s wife begins to deliver the baby. The local doctor is there in attend-ance. "What d'ya want me to do, Doctor?" "Hold the lantern, Peter. Here it comes!" the doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see. "Peter, you're the proud father of a fine strapping boy." "Saints be praised, I..."

Before Peter can finish the Doctor interrupts, "Wait a minute. Hold the lan-tern, Peter." Soon the doctor delivers the next child. "You've a full set now, Peter. A beautiful baby daughter." "Thanks be to..."Again the Doctor cuts in, "Hold the lantern, Peter , Hold the lantern!" Soon the Doctor delivers a third child. The doc-tor holds up the baby for Peter's inspec-tion. "Doctor," asks Peter, "Do you think it's the light that's attracting them?"

Are Ya Havin' A Laff?

aCRoss 1 - always in similar role (8) 6 - settee (4) 8 - bubbles (6) 9 - Word that qualifies (6) 10 - Very cold (3) 11 - Fresh water (4) 12 - County in sE England (6) 13 - Rigid bars (6) 15 - Unit of capacity (6) 17 - Hoarding bird (6) 20 - bree (anag) (4) 21 - Mother of the ancient irish gods (3) 22 - Food accompaniments (6) 23 - Chest (6) 24 - Comes together; coheres (4) 25 - Formal meal (8)

DoWn 2 - Distance (7) 3 - Consumed (5) 4 - aids (7) 5 - shallow carrying containers (5) 6 - More than two (7) 7 - asset (5) 14 - anticipates (7) 15 - Jelly substance (7) 16 - aromatic herb (7) 18 - Rouse (5) 19 - tripod for artist (5) 20 - Voting compartment (5)

G U A R D I N G B O W SN E N I O E

S W E E T S B E T R A YO D I C E T R

P U N S P D E L A Y SN I E

A D O R E D D I S H E SE O M

T H I N G S O C A B SI T T A R A L

A R C A N E W I N T E RE L M A A M

A D D S S P Y G L A S S

1 8 2 7 9 3 4 5 66 3 7 5 4 8 9 2 14 5 9 6 1 2 7 8 35 2 8 4 3 6 1 9 79 6 4 1 7 5 2 3 87 1 3 8 2 9 5 6 43 4 5 2 8 7 6 1 98 7 6 9 5 1 3 4 22 9 1 3 6 4 8 7 5

Solutions For last Issue

Sudoku Solution next issue.

1 6 37 8 9

8 5 49 4 3

6 2 7 5 88 3 65 1 9

1 2 72 8 5

Scribble Box

The solution to this crossword will appear in the next issue.

I'm InnocenTAS the crowded lift descend-ed, Mrs. McCann became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gor-geous young blonde woman.

As the lift stopped at the main floor, the blonde sud-denly whirled, slapped Mr. McCann, and said, "That will teach you to p inch! "Bewildered, Mr. McCann was halfway across the car park with his wife when he choked, "I ... I didn't pinch that girl."

"Of course you didn't," said his wife, consolingly. "I did." mIsTaken IDenTITYST. PETER was guarding the gates of heaven. One day he needed to pee so he asked Jesus to guard the gates and Jesus said he would.

After a whi le a man appeared. When the man got to the gates Jesus thought he looked very familiar. He was on old man with a beard. Jesus asked -"I don't mean to be nosey sir, but did you have any children?" The man replies - "Yes, one son, but he died, he had nails put through him." "And what did you work as?" "I was a carpenter" Jesus says -"Father?" The man says -"Pinnochio?".

20 The Informer

Dún Laoghaire NewsDun Laoghaire Rathdown County Council, in collaboration with local residents, business owners and the Institute of Art, Design and Technology, have turned Dun Laoghaire into a multicultural hive of artistic action with the DL 5-8 Project.

Every Thursday up to June 17th, the programme will present a series of film screen-ings, public talks and improvised music gigs featuring a host of national and international artists and musicians.

Arts projects and performanc-es by naomi Sex and Sinead

McCann will be held every Thursday evening in the artists studios on Lr. Georges St.

The late section of the pro-gramme starts at 10pm with an eclectic live mix of world music featuring artists Koshka, Passer Bem, Cafe Orchestra, the north Strand Kontra Band and invited guests.

The DL 5-8 Project culminates on June 17th with an interna-tional conference on artistic development and arts policy and practice.

Creative Policies Programme Director, nollaig Ó Fiongháile, aims to “make things happen”

using the DL 5-8 Project. Richard Shakepeare, Director

of the Council’s Environment, Culture, and Community Department, hopes “to facilitate a unique partnership between artists, the public and local busi-nesses in such a way that will encourage engagement in Dún Laoghaire town centre, and in so doing, improve the quality of life in the town.”

All events are free of charge and the organizers encourage all those with an interest in the arts to come along and be a part of this artistic extravanganza.

DL 5-8 turns Dún Laoghaire into a hive of artistic actionBy Graham Connors

e100 Off with this Coupon for

June and July