Discovering that in you which never goes

Q & A with Enza Vita, author of Always Already Free – Recognizing the natural wakefulness that you were born with

Q: Sometimes I try so hard to be aware of awareness I get a headache

• ENZA: If you are “trying” to be aware of awareness, you are making it into a practice. Remembering our original nature is not holding the idea of awareness in mind; and neither is it the forced attempt to feel awareness. Neither of these is going to help. It’s more like seeing what is already here and relaxing into it without losing awareness.

• Efforting, as you have already found out, simply doesn’t work. Anything that is achieved and maintained through effort is not our original nature, because that is something that does not come and go. A state in which thoughts have subsided, and which feels very clear and still, is just a mind state that has been deliberately kept through mental effort. Once the effort slackens off, all the thoughts will push in once again and nothing will have been achieved

• Mind-made states, including stillness and peace produced through some meditation practices, are not your original nature. All states are products of the mind.

• Original nature is totally open awareness that doesn’t stick to anything. Free flowing and alert, it doesn’t hold anything and doesn’t dwell anywhere. It is not a thing to be seen, if it were, it would be a product of the mind.

• A practice with a goal is nothing more than a mind-generated concept. Ultimately you will have to stop searching in your mind for the answer because you will never find it there. Thinking that this is some kind of process is so subtle and habitual that you are hardly ever aware that this is what you’re doing.

• Awareness is not something you can find because you cannot find what you already are. Step-by-step instructions to try to get you to your own true essence will fail every time. It is simply a matter of becoming still and noticing your already present awareness and then just relaxing into that noticing.

• Nothing needs to be reached, attained, or enhanced, since that which you believe you haven’t attained is in fact who you already are. Your attention has simply been misdirected.

• The key is to stop seeing yourself as this separate individual who believes he needs something that he doesn’t yet possess. You will never find the answer in mind-generated beliefs, thoughts, and concepts. Refuse for a moment to be entertained by thoughts, and then attention will be swallowed by awareness and only awareness is

• Awareness is not an object that has an existence outside of yourself. Being/awareness is not somewhere over there. It is simply being yourself, who you truly are, as awareness itself. Who you truly are is not some thing separate from awareness. Beingness/awareness can never be separated out from who you are because it is who you are.

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