Discipline and the Discipline and the Child with ASDChild with ASD

Alicia HartAlicia HartECIASGECIASG

Feb. 19Feb. 19thth, 2009, 2009

What other parents are doingWhat other parents are doing

SpankingSpankingTime OutsTime OutsRemoving favored objects / activitiesRemoving favored objects / activitiesGroundingGroundingGo to your room!Go to your room!YellingYellingIgnoringIgnoring

Why donWhy don’’t these work?t these work?

Autism is a neurologically based Autism is a neurologically based developmental disorder. developmental disorder. –– Child may not understand the languageChild may not understand the language–– Child may not understand the repercussionsChild may not understand the repercussions–– Child may not be able to Child may not be able to ‘‘think aheadthink ahead’’ to to

know when or when not to do something.know when or when not to do something.–– Child may not care / issue has no meaningChild may not care / issue has no meaning–– Child may just ignore youChild may just ignore you–– Child will argue with you till kingdom come Child will argue with you till kingdom come

about why you are wrong.about why you are wrong.

SpankingSpanking

Hyposensitive child (i.e. wonHyposensitive child (i.e. won’’t feel it wont feel it won’’t t matter anyway) versus the Hypersensitive matter anyway) versus the Hypersensitive child (experiences the pain much child (experiences the pain much stronger).stronger).

Child who is selfChild who is self--injurious may LIKE it, injurious may LIKE it, which is exactly the opposite of what which is exactly the opposite of what parents are trying to accomplish with parents are trying to accomplish with spanking.spanking.

Time Out!Time Out!

Time is an abstract concept. Children on Time is an abstract concept. Children on the spectrum donthe spectrum don’’t often understand t often understand abstract language or concepts.abstract language or concepts.

DoesnDoesn’’t tell the child what TO do.t tell the child what TO do.

Removing objects and activitiesRemoving objects and activities

THE WIITHE WII——DonDon’’t t touch the WII!!! touch the WII!!!

GroundingGrounding

The phrase, The phrase, ““YouYou’’re groundedre grounded”” has a has a whole different meaning to a literal whole different meaning to a literal thinking child on the spectrum. He / she thinking child on the spectrum. He / she is probably thinking something about is probably thinking something about electricity when you say this!electricity when you say this!

Might be too abstract and too long of a Might be too abstract and too long of a time. If you ground a child for a month, time. If you ground a child for a month, theythey’’ve forgotten what they did in the first ve forgotten what they did in the first place.place.

Go To Your Room!Go To Your Room!

ItIt’’s probably what the child wants s probably what the child wants anyway!anyway!

The room is the safe zone for most kids. The room is the safe zone for most kids. A king in his castle!A king in his castle!

ItIt’’s more of a reward than a punishment.s more of a reward than a punishment.

YellingYelling

Stop it! Would you quit? DonStop it! Would you quit? Don’’t do that! t do that! What were you thinking? What is wrong What were you thinking? What is wrong with you? with you?

WhatWhat’’s wrong with these phrases?s wrong with these phrases?

If you yell, the child will yell. If you curse If you yell, the child will yell. If you curse when angry, the child will too.when angry, the child will too.

IgnoringIgnoring

DoesnDoesn’’t solve anything!t solve anything!DoesnDoesn’’t model the behavior you want!t model the behavior you want!DoesnDoesn’’t teach the child anything at all!t teach the child anything at all!

When it might be appropriate is with When it might be appropriate is with repetitive questioning.repetitive questioning.

ModelingModeling

Small stepsSmall stepsRepeat repeat repeatRepeat repeat repeatSometimes may need to use hand over Sometimes may need to use hand over hand, or guide the child to what they hand, or guide the child to what they should be doingshould be doingRole playing / drama / practice Role playing / drama / practice appropriate behavior when NOT angryappropriate behavior when NOT angry

Use Positive LanguageUse Positive Language

Never say no, donNever say no, don’’t, cant, can’’tt——realistically realistically speaking of course!speaking of course!

If you have visual rules, make sure you If you have visual rules, make sure you have the rules for what you CAN do!have the rules for what you CAN do!

Give choicesGive choices——you can do this or that.you can do this or that.

I need you toI need you to……

The most powerful phrase in the world!The most powerful phrase in the world!

Used in the Child Development Lab at EIU Used in the Child Development Lab at EIU with enormous success!with enormous success!

Tells the child what you expect of them Tells the child what you expect of them and what they should be doing. Not what and what they should be doing. Not what they shouldnthey shouldn’’t!t!

Make it visual!Make it visual!

When in doubt, write it out! Schedule it!When in doubt, write it out! Schedule it!Describe what they should be doingDescribe what they should be doingCircles Technique / Have Dreams usesCircles Technique / Have Dreams usesWrite a contractWrite a contract——seriously some of our Aspie seriously some of our Aspie kids would find this to be just the right kind of kids would find this to be just the right kind of ‘‘concretenessconcreteness’’ to understand the problem!to understand the problem!Take pictures of the appropriate behavior.Take pictures of the appropriate behavior.Social stories can workSocial stories can work——but leave out the but leave out the inappropriate behavior, it just puts ideas in their inappropriate behavior, it just puts ideas in their head!head!

Find the goodFind the good

As Georgia Winson (TAP) says, As Georgia Winson (TAP) says, ““Catch Catch ‘‘em being em being good!good!””

Reward good behavior when you see it! Reward Reward good behavior when you see it! Reward charts are useful but doncharts are useful but don’’t make the child wait t make the child wait till the end of the week or month for till the end of the week or month for somethingsomething——thatthat’’s too long and too abstract.s too long and too abstract.

Use praise when you see good behavior! Be Use praise when you see good behavior! Be specific in your praise, donspecific in your praise, don’’t just say good job. t just say good job. ““I like how youI like how you…”…”

Pick your battlesPick your battles

Everything cannot be a struggle, some Everything cannot be a struggle, some things you have to let go.things you have to let go.

You cannot win every battle, you cannot You cannot win every battle, you cannot only have your viewpoint. You cannot be only have your viewpoint. You cannot be as inflexible as the child with ASD.as inflexible as the child with ASD.

Listen to and observe what the child has Listen to and observe what the child has problems with and work with that in a problems with and work with that in a positive way.positive way.

ConsistencyConsistency

DonDon’’t change the rules midt change the rules mid--game. game.

Keep with a system that BOTH caregivers Keep with a system that BOTH caregivers are on board with. If one parent does one are on board with. If one parent does one thing and the other parent is drastically thing and the other parent is drastically different, the child is simply confused different, the child is simply confused about what to do!about what to do!

What if nothing is working?What if nothing is working?

Start at the beginning and think it through Start at the beginning and think it through using the frame of autism!using the frame of autism!

DoesnDoesn’’t have to be anything as fancy as a t have to be anything as fancy as a functional analysis, but keep a behavior functional analysis, but keep a behavior diary.diary.

CATCAT--Kit!Kit!

What if nothing is working?What if nothing is working?

Look for other components such as:Look for other components such as:IllnessIllnessSensory problems (is this a canSensory problems (is this a can’’t issue?)t issue?)Communication problems (can he / she truly Communication problems (can he / she truly express the problem or is anger all that comes express the problem or is anger all that comes out?)out?)Executive dysfunction playing a role?Executive dysfunction playing a role?Is this an obsession that we canIs this an obsession that we can’’t control but we t control but we can redirect, shape, and mold to something more can redirect, shape, and mold to something more positive?positive?

Last but not leastLast but not least……

SEEK SUPPORT!SEEK SUPPORT!

From From Blind Children in the Family and CommunityBlind Children in the Family and Community by by Marietta SpencerMarietta Spencer

““The question in the art of discipline is really not how and The question in the art of discipline is really not how and when to punish a child but rather how to help him be when to punish a child but rather how to help him be cooperative, constructive, and responsible. Any parent cooperative, constructive, and responsible. Any parent tries to teach his child what is expected of himtries to teach his child what is expected of him——willingly, willingly, at the right time, and at a reasonable speed. As the at the right time, and at a reasonable speed. As the child learns to think and do things for himself, and child learns to think and do things for himself, and becomes willing to assume responsibility for his actions, becomes willing to assume responsibility for his actions, parents can relax and begin to relinquish controls. parents can relax and begin to relinquish controls. Turning over controls to the child is naturally a gradual Turning over controls to the child is naturally a gradual process. Reminders and words of guidance will still be process. Reminders and words of guidance will still be needed, even though a child has succeeded in taking needed, even though a child has succeeded in taking over responsibility for a certain part of his daily routine. over responsibility for a certain part of his daily routine. But such reminders can be positive, supportive words But such reminders can be positive, supportive words rather than tense, critical, or angry ones. Experience rather than tense, critical, or angry ones. Experience clearly shows that a thoughtful, firm, and supportive clearly shows that a thoughtful, firm, and supportive approach will bring the best results in the long run.approach will bring the best results in the long run.””