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2

In August 2012, I hosted a Mommy Time Facebook Party for mothers to

come and ask their questions related to discipline and behavior. This

book includes the conversations from that night.

To the sponsors, I offer my gratitude for your willingness to donate

products that encourage and inspire family unity.

To my readers, I hope you know how special you are to me.

To my Mommy Time Facebook Party co-hosts, you ladies ROCK!

To my family who lets me sit at the computer for hours without

interruption, you are my gifts from God and I don’t deserve you.

Thank you to everyone who makes these Mommy Time Facebook

Parties a smashing success!

~ Tabitha

www.MeetPenny.com

NOTE: The opinions expressed herein are that of the person who

commented and not necessarily the opinion of those who host and

sponsor Mommy Time. Some editing has been made for grammatical

purposes.

For more information regarding Mommy Time Facebook Parties, please

visit MommyTimeParty.com.

Copyright ©2012 Tabitha Philen of Meet Penny

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be duplicated, republished,

hosted, or distributed without written permission.

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Contents

Lacey asked: What is the best way to teach your kids the value of trust

and telling the truth? .............................................................................. 5

Dylan asked: What is a good punishment for mild offenses, like lying

about having eaten candy? ..................................................................... 6

Mindy asked: How do you train in behavior without encouraging a child

to think their behavior is what makes them godly (vs. their heart

attitude)? ................................................................................................ 8

We had a few readers ask about sibling rivalry. How do you stop the

battles? What discipline ideas do you have for eliminating fights,

agitating other siblings, and such? .......................................................... 9

Betti just asked: Our special needs heart 2 year old daughter has been

having trouble when waking up. She wakes up kicking and screaming

and most of the time yelling, "Stop! Ouch! Don't hurt me!" etc. I know

it's common for heart babies to have flash backs from surgeries/waking

up after surgeries. It usually takes over 30 minutes to get her to calm

down while she is bucking and screaming. Any suggestions on how to

get her to snap out of it quicker?? Thanks! ........................................... 11

Several readers asked about WHINING. How do you deal with it?........ 11

Jessica asked: What are some good time-out alternatives? I have a 4

year old who used to listen, obey and do great. We just got a 3-year old

who has no respect for women and who doesn't seem to care if she

goes to time out. I'm worried her disrespect is rubbing off on my other

daughter. .............................................................................................. 14

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4

Erika asked: How do you get your child to want to do what you ask

without yelling? .................................................................................... 14

Chrissy asked: I feel as if my children do not listen to me. Is this just a

teen thing?............................................................................................ 17

My 4 year old is so fun and adorable and cute and funny but- She does

not listen! And she's a screamer. What to do? So far the only thing that

works is an immediate negative consequence, but it's exhausting when

the naughtiness never ends (or feels that way). Help! .......................... 19

Karman just asked: What are some good ways to continually build your

daughter's self esteem and not let her get discouraged by the media's

perception of "beauty". ........................................................................ 20

Shanna asked: All four of my kids seem to be so disloyal to each other

and relish in tattling on each other. How do I combat this behavior? ... 22

We had several questions about disciplining teenagers. What are some

ways that you can discipline your teen? How do you discipline in a way

that will help them grow up to be the people God has for them to be? 26

Anita asked: What are some tips on implementing discipline and curbing

naughty behavior without mommy "losing it" in the process? ............. 29

What about children with special needs? Do you have the same

discipline for your autistic child as your other children? How do you

handle the emotional behavior that they sometimes cannot seem to

control? ................................................................................................ 31

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5

Lacey asked: What is the best way to teach your kids the value of

trust and telling the truth?

Be honest and tell the truth. Watching a parent is getting the front row

seat on behavior and etiquette.

Red C

Model it, praise it. When you say they can trust you, be trustworthy.

When you say they can come to you with any problem, don't blow them

off. When you say they can tell you anything, listen. They'll learn what

trust and honesty is through your relationship.

A Classic Housewife in a Modern World

Use songs, stories, role play, and Bible verses on honesty and lying.

Ron N Heather

In our home, we are loving and open with each other and starting to

build the bridge of trust at an early age. We do what we say and say

what we do!

Laura Hertzfeld Katz

Lead by example but also explain to them how they would feel if they

could not trust me or how they would feel if I lied to them and that I

expect the same from them. Only treat others how you want to be

treated.

Julie C

www.MeetPenny.com

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Dylan asked: What is a good punishment for mild offenses, like

lying about having eaten candy?

In our house, lying about ANYTHING is a major offense. For small things

we just bring it to their attention and explain why it isn't appropriate or

acceptable (unless they do it over and over, THEN it becomes a

problem).

Also, lying is an automatic doubler... If you were going lose your cell

phone for a week for not answering the first time we called, you will lose

it for 2 or more if you lied about why you didn't answer.

Fantacy B

In our home, lying is a MAJOR offense.... Zero Tolerance! Whether about

something small or large... for other mild offenses ... I usually do not

punish... but we have a talk about why that behavior/quality is not

wanted.

Amy K

Time out

Lysska B

Lying breaks trust between a parent and child. Probably should be

Doorposts offers a set of Biblical Parenting Charts that

help you set rewards and consequences for your child’s

behavior, simplifying the discipline process. {Read More}

www.MeetPenny.com

7

treated more seriously.

Proclaiming God's Faithfulness

Lying is deceit and should be dealt with as other sins are in your home or

they will believe that it is not that bad of a sin.

Sidetracked Sarah

We use Proverbs 6:16-19 NIV:

There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to

him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent

blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to

rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who

stirs up conflict in the community.

These are the things that we spank for. We also do NOT spank if they tell

the truth, but they will still have consequences for what they did.

Valerii

Lying is not a minor offense in our home. We deal with it swiftly and

firmly. It's not the fact that the candy was eaten, it is the fact that they

deliberately defied your command to NOT eat the candy and then tried

to cover it up with deceit. We want our children to always tell us the

truth even if the consequences aren't ones they will like. Being a man/

woman of your word is important in all areas of life, ESPECIALLY as you

get older.

Jennifer G

www.MeetPenny.com

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Lying is serious in our home too. Honesty is rewarded. If a child is asked,

"Did you do THIS?" and they confess, we give grace but tell them if the

offense is repeated during the day, they will be punished.

Meet Penny

Mindy asked: How do you train in behavior without encouraging

a child to think their behavior is what makes them godly (vs.

their heart attitude)?

GREAT question. Especially for people pleasing kids motivated to do

things for praise. I guess the answer would be that when you see them

behaving well for wrong reasons, you still need to address the heart

issues - not to criticize, but to get them to think, evaluate their motives,

grow closer to God.

A Classic Housewife in a Modern World

I think using a LOT of Scripture is helpful. But, we also have to rest in

knowing that there is no mistake we can make in our parenting that will

place our children outside the reach of God's grace.

Sometimes, children have discipline problems when they cannot

communicate what is upsetting them. Reading books with your

child is an excellent way to break through those barriers. For

instance, if your child is anxious about wearing glasses, Laura

Hertzfeld Katz has a great book for your family. {Read More}

www.MeetPenny.com

9

We also practice grace in our home. Sometimes, we will tell the children,

"You deserve to be punished but I am going to show you some grace just

ask God gives us." We don't do this often but try to make a big deal out

of it when we do.

Meet Penny

We had a few readers ask about sibling rivalry. How do you stop

the battles? What discipline ideas do you have for eliminating

fights, agitating other siblings, and such?

I have our kids hug each other.

Courtney D

Make them sit on the couch and hold hands for 30 minutes.

Blessed Beyond a Doubt

When my kids are fighting, especially when they are supposed to be

doing something, they have to work together...When they couldn't

seem to communicate I actually put a belt around each child, then a

We Choose Virtues offers excellent resources

for building character in children. They have

kits appropriate for faith-based families,

public classrooms, and churches. {Read More}

www.MeetPenny.com

10

third belt looped between those two belts so the kids couldn't move

around without communicating with each other. It took the a LONG

time to figure it out, but once they did, they finished the project and

were laughing and giggling with each other and I wasn't yelling or any

other negative discipline.

Suz N

My great grandmother used to tie the hands of her children together

until they could get along.

Sidetracked Sarah

I just heard a great way to deal with this. The offender must in some

way serve the other child. It is humbling and reminds the children how

much they do really love each other.

Julie C

I have Making Brothers & Sisters Best Friends book too. I also love Lisa

Whelchel's book called "Creative Correction" for everyday discipline

issues. It has a lot of creative suggestions.

Laura B

~*~ Problems with sibling rivalry? ~*~

Check out these two great books:

Siblings Without Rivalry

Making Brothers & Sisters Best Friends

www.MeetPenny.com

11

Betti just asked: Our special needs heart 2 year old daughter has

been having trouble when waking up. She wakes up kicking and

screaming and most of the time yelling, "Stop! Ouch! Don't hurt

me!" etc. I know it's common for heart babies to have flash

backs from surgeries/waking up after surgeries. It usually takes

over 30 minutes to get her to calm down while she is bucking

and screaming. Any suggestions on how to get her to snap out of

it quicker?? Thanks!

It sounds like Night Terrors, maybe? They're not really awake but they

look awake. It can be very hard to wake them out of it, but the good

news is they usually outgrow it quickly. Watch her and see if that's what

you think it is. I know it's very frustrating, our second had them. Take

deep breaths and be patient with her. Prayers and blessings to you!

A Classic Housewife in a Modern World

It does sound similar to Night Terrors. Our oldest who is now 14 had

those. He would stand in his crib or later next to his bed screaming and

crying. We couldn't comfort or console him. He would just stiffen up if

you tried to pick him up. He did eventually out grow it but it made for a

lot of lost sleep for us. Prayers for you.

Barbara D

Several readers asked about WHINING. How do you deal with it?

I tell my children that I don’t speak Whine-ese and if they want me to

understand and answer, they need to speak to me in a normal voice.

www.MeetPenny.com

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Then, I ignore them. {blush}

Meet Penny

We tell our kids we do not understand that language. If they wanna talk

they have to talk like big girls. I don't answer them till they do. We are a

no whining house. Whining will get them NOTHING.

Lysska

I send/put them to their rooms and tell them once they are done then I

will listen to them but not until then. They normally stop after being in

there for a minute or two.

Nicole K

I do the same thing...... I tell them I can’t hear them till they can talk like

a big boy/girl.

Courtney D

I tell him that I can't hear him when he whines. If he'd like me to talk to

him, he needs to talk to me and not whine.

Kate P

I put a stop to it IMMEDIATELY! I cannot stand whining. I have friend

whose child is a whiner and when she is at my house, I put a stop to her

whining as well. I just calmly and politely say that "We do not whine is

my house". No arguments, just that and it's over.

Valerii

We have a NO-Whining Tolerance in our house. We put a stop to it

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RIGHT AWAY! If it does not stop immediately, time out is a given.

Amy

Whining? I just don't hear it, don't reward it with my attention, and

discipline it by removing privileges. If they are going to act like babies, I'll

treat them like babies. I have a zero-tolerance whining policy. LOL It is

one of my BIGGEST pet peeves. That and tattling, which I treat with

similar vigor.

Christine

Ignoring is the best option for whining. You also need to teach them the

right way to speak so they can be heard. When they speak in the right

way, you definitely have to answer/acknowledge them. If not, you're

showing your child that what he/she says doesn't matter.

Katie D

Our house is a whine-free zone!! But if they need to whine (or throw a

fit ha) they are allowed to go to their room and whine and can come out

when they're done. The end. ;) We also can't hear them unless they're

using their big girl/bog voice.

Betti

Did you know your child’s behavior is directly related

to his or her personality and learning style? Kidzmet

offers a free assessment to help you decode your

child’s personality. {Read more}

www.MeetPenny.com

14

Jessica asked: What are some good time-out alternatives? I have

a 4 year old who used to listen, obey and do great. We just got a

3-year old who has no respect for women and who doesn't seem

to care if she goes to time out. I'm worried her disrespect is

rubbing off on my other daughter.

gentlechristianmothers.com has so many great ideas & links for time out

alternatives. Wait, I need to go over there and read those again! LOL

Ron N Heather

I do reading! Sometimes just distracting him long enough away from

what he was doing is what he needs most! ♥ Good luck.

Amy S

If you can take just the younger one for a walk to talk about things. I

have found this works for my youngest when she is one of her bad

moods. Sometimes, a little alone time where you can bond and build

trust and respect helps a ton!

Nicole

Tomato staking. Have them stay with you at all times. There's a book on

the subject, that I haven't read yet called Raising Godly Tomatoes.

Sidetracked Sarah

Erika asked: How do you get your child to want to do what you

ask without yelling?

My 6 year old is like this. He does not respond well to me yelling at him,

www.MeetPenny.com

15

but a gentle touch on the shoulder and a sweet soft voice asking him to

be my helper gets the job done.

Valerii

Explain why it needs to be done, such as because they are part of the

family or to get a certain reward

Danielle

Consistently require respect and obedience, with appropriate

consequences. They will push you as much as they know they can get

away with. Take action when they don't comply the first time, BEFORE

you feel like yelling. =)

A Classic Housewife in a Modern World

What are you asking them to do? Do they understand WHY you are

asking them to do it? (And, it depends on age. Younger kids will not

understand direct commands without guidance and example.)

Aadel

For my young children, I try to offer consequences and then give them

control of their own decisions. "You can choose to disobey, but then this

will happen...It's your choice."

This Reading Mama

It's your choice A-help or B-do not help but there are consequences with

both choices.

Aimee

www.MeetPenny.com

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I also do the choices, rewards, consequences, and lots of hugs,

distraction ideas, and sometimes a good ole belly laugh! LOL for

everyone involved

Amy

Also, I have learned that boys tend to tune out and need that touch to

bring them back to reality.

Valerii

A lot of praise like… who wants to be my big helper? My oldest doesn't

want to be outdone by the little ones. When that isn't enough I remind

(my older ones) about certain things they want and how everything has

to be earned and worked for.

Nicole

There are times that I have to be "involved" with what I've asked the

children to do. I'll offer to help them with what they are suppose to do

or I'll be near them to chat while they are doing their chore. I try to keep

the conversation on something that interests them. When I'm doing my

chores, company helps me keep my mind of the drudgery and onto to

something interesting. It works for kids too. I hope that makes sense. :)

Pam B

Parenting Teens? Check out these awesome books:

•Getting to Calm: Cool-Headed Strategies for Parenting

Tweens + Teens

•Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens,

Second Edition (Resources for Changing Lives)

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17

Chrissy asked: I feel as if my children do not listen to me. Is this

just a teen thing?

My poor kids do not get the "it’s a teen thing" pass. It is "normal" for

them to push their boundaries and to try to play it off like they are

grown enough to not listen, but there are reactions for every action (or

lack thereof). LOL So yes and no: yes, mine do it too, but no, I don't let

them get off by thinking "it’s a teen thing" because nowadays

EVERYTHING from being rude and disrespectful to promiscuity is

considered "a teen thing" and "they'll get past it"....doesn't work for our

family.

Fantacy

My son doesn't listen and he's not even close to being a teenager!

Kate P

Ummm. Yes. (LOL, 3 teens myself and they are a little spacey and need

lots of grace.)

Ron N Heather

Yes, grace. Sometimes if we just keep talking, they keep "not listening" I

am surprised when days later I find that they did hear me.

Diana D

My husband and I have worked with teens a lot, including leading our

youth group at our former church. With teens, it is hard to get them to

listen but they complain of the same thing with their parents. We found

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if you start grabbing those small moments where they let you in even

just a little, it is reciprocated. It's funny with teens because their

moments of opening are hard to recognize.

Jeanna A

My son and I have always taken car rides every couple of weeks to talk.

He sometimes listens to me, but often not. But if I say it often enough

without nagging, I find out later that he did indeed hear me and actually

abided in what I've said. They are finally at an age with much more

freedom than they've ever had before. It's only natural to test just how

far that freedom can take you.

Patty H

My kids haven't made it to teenage years yet, but I remember my teen

years. My dad would always give unwanted advice and "just be

annoying." I am very blessed that I can still call my dad and say "I

remember you saying such and such, and you were right." They hear,

even if they don't act like it. Keep on talking!

Nicole C

Maybe just a difference in communication styles. Have them look you in

the eye when you speak, have them repeat it in their own words for

understanding, etc. I have a highly visual learner and we keep a shared

journal to "talk."

Royal Little Lambs

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19

My 4 year old is so fun and adorable and cute and funny but- She

does not listen! And she's a screamer. What to do? So far the

only thing that works is an immediate negative consequence,

but it's exhausting when the naughtiness never ends (or feels

that way). Help!

You might need to explain to them what listening looks like to you, and

what you expect. Is it looking at you when you speak, responding to

what you say right away, etc.

Grapevine Bible Studies

My kids would often be listening but also be in constant motion. Once I

understood this, life was much easier.

Heather F

Selective hearing is very popular in our home. I will call his/her name,

turn off any media that is on, state what I want to say and ask, "What

did I just say to you?"

Lori M

It takes us being consistent with a "yes mom" or "yes dad" to confirm

they heard us! CONSTANTLY CONSISTENT!

Nickie H

Need suggestions for how to discipline your child while

avoiding the tantrums and meltdowns? Elizabeth

Pantley’s No-Cry Discipline Solution can help. {Read more}

www.MeetPenny.com

20

Karman just asked: What are some good ways to continually

build your daughter's self esteem and not let her get

discouraged by the media's perception of "beauty".

Tough one! They are bombarded so much. Of course, we limit what they

see. And we discuss what they do see. I praise good choices and ask

them why they make others so they can think through them. I bear in

mind that this is a marathon!

A Classic Housewife in a Modern World

I struggle with what I'm about to say, but if I say things, like "I'm so fat"

or "I hate the way I look", then my daughter might pick up on that same

self image. I have to choose, every day, to see myself through God's

eyes, because I am so beautiful to Him!

Valerii

Make sure you, YOU, can identify her strengths, because often she

cannot see them herself. Remind and praise her strengths without

coming off too strong, because she'll detect it

Jennifer P

My biggest thing is to instill that external beauty is not what is

important- it is how beautiful our heart is that is important. I just had

this talk with my 4 year old a little bit ago.

Julie C

I think it is important to define self-esteem and self worth with your

www.MeetPenny.com

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daughter. Beauty is so much more than the physical. I would encourage

any age girl to take on challenges in their lives that would build their

self-esteem. As mothers, we are models for our daughters. They copy us

in many ways. I think if we live our lives consistently valuing ourselves

they will follow our footsteps.

Laura Hertzfeld Katz

I always emphasize with my daughter (age 4) that she is beautiful inside

AND outside. And that the inside is the part that truly matters. Because

women can be beautiful in appearance but ugly on the inside. Plus, I just

don't watch the latest shows that emphasize a certain size or look for

that person to be beautiful. I try to example what true beauty is for

her...and sometimes I fail, but I get up and try again. :)

Jennifer G

I too am concerned about this. I really don't know the best way to

handle this but so far what I'm doing seems to be working. I do what I

can to make my 7 year old feel beautiful with modest clothes and sweet

little girl hairstyles. I tell her she looks pretty when she does but I think

more important than that, I constantly teach my kids that people are

important, not things. I think it helps to cause them to focus on others. I

think they gain a lot of self confidence when they feel they understand

what's really important. What you focus on you get more of.

Amy G

www.MeetPenny.com

22

Shanna asked: All four of my kids seem to be so disloyal to each

other and relish in tattling on each other. How do I combat this

behavior?

Maybe implement a "tattle jar" or something... :) where every time they

tattle, they have to put something in the jar .... or take a chore out ???

Hope that helps!

Amy S

Black and Red rule: unless someone is bruised or bleeding, you better

not be tattling.

Kelly H

Don't reward the tattling unless it is absolutely something you need to

know. You reward the tattling by addressing the issue they are tattling

about.

Danielle G

We do our best to NIP IT and NIP IT quick... HONOR is a big deal in this

house - at all ages!

Nickie H

Make tattling extremely unpleasant for them all ;) Such as group

punishment (privileges removed, special outings postponed or

cancelled, etc.)

Jennifer G

I guess just don't reward or give in to the tattling...but honestly, my

www.MeetPenny.com

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brother and I tattled on each other all the time when we were little and

some of those stories are the funniest and favorite ones our parents like

to tell...it's normal, don't freak, and it will pass

Jennifer P

If they tell something on someone else, they have to "confess"

something they have done...

Lori M

My kids like to ACT like they are NOT tattling when in fact, they are. I

point out the tattling and we address the heart issues behind why they

felt so compelled to get their sibling in trouble. Are they angry? Jealous?

And yes, don't reward it. Praise honor and respect, etc.

A Classic Housewife in a Modern World

Have them "write sentences" ... I will honor my family and others by not

fighting or tattling always works too!

Lori M

We also talk about the difference in "telling" and "tattling"!

Nickie H

I like to respond with "so & so needs to tell Mommy that herself, can

you encourage her to do that?"

Ron N Heather

Also by Shanna's own words they "seem to be disloyal to each

other"...believe me, they aren’t Shanna...I'm sure there is more loyalty

www.MeetPenny.com

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among them then you could even imagine! :)

Jennifer P

I always tell them, "Unless someone or something is getting hurt." I

don’t want to hear about it.

April S

I have 7 children and we have our kids write loving letters about their

brothers and sisters, then when they start tattling we remind them why

they love their brother or sister....... if fighting starts we have the two

fighters stand in the living room (where everyone can see) they have to

hug each other

Courtney D

We defined the difference between tattling and informing. Tattling is

telling so the person will get into trouble. Informing is when someone

needs help.

Cheryl S

Proverbs 18:17 - two sides to every "tale".

Phyllis S

We also say "You only tell the wrong things YOU'VE done & let others do

the same." :)

Ron N Heather

I like using Tattle Reports when the tattling gets out-of-control. If it's not

an emergency and no one is getting hurt, then I ask them to fill out a

www.MeetPenny.com

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Tattle Report. I like to require that the report is at least a paragraph

long. They almost always decline.

Courtney W

My kids (boy 17 1/2, boy who will be 14 in a little over a week, and girl

who will be 8 in a month) do the same thing STILL, but I have noticed

that when push comes to shove outside of the safe confines of our

home, they are fiercely loyal to one another. I would love to see them

act like they love each other more here at home (although all 3 still hug

one another goodnight & tell one another they love each other)!

Fantacy

I make them do chores together. Or, they are not allowed to talk until

they come up with two nice things to say about each other. The first

tactic works because they know they can go play when they're ready to

get along. The second works because they get into the mindset of

thinking nice thoughts about the other. Tattling only works if you

respond to it. Sometimes it is worth it to let the other kid get by with

something to make a point that you can't do anything about it because

of the tattling.

Amy G

My parents always made it clear that "nobody likes a tattler" but this

just caused my older sister to get away with a LOT because I felt I

couldn't go to my parents when she mistreated me... When my kids

tattle I always call both parties into the room and then ask the original

www.MeetPenny.com

26

tattler to start her story over, but this time to begin with what SHE did

wrong in the situation. I have them both confess their own wrongs

instead of each others. Often it's easier to solve this way (and makes

them take ownership of their wrong actions that they may have felt

"justified" in beforehand) or they will mutually agree it's not worth

discussing and go happily play with each other again...

Paula R

I think this is being a kid with so many siblings. There were 4 of us. They

are vying for their position. It will pass, I think. Just keep punishing them

(not bad) for doing it and let it go. They will work it out between

themselves. Tattling would get on your nerves… just say, “I don’t want

to hear it. Work it out.” See what happens.

Jeanne J

We had several questions about disciplining teenagers. What

are some ways that you can discipline your teen? How do you

discipline in a way that will help them grow up to be the people

God has for them to be?

What works for us is denying privileges.

Amy D

Tired of a tattle tale? Try these books:

• Don't Squeal Unless It's a Big Deal: A Tale of Tattletales

• A Bad Case of Tattle Tongue

• My Mouth Is a Volcano!

www.MeetPenny.com

27

Restrict them on the things they care about the most. Talk about why

they're being disciplined, not just "because I said so."

Sandy N

My hubby did something I thought was wonderful with our 14 year old.

He had disobeyed with his phone, which had happened before. Walter

had Ian think about and choose what should happen to him. Ian did NOT

like this task. He really took it seriously. He also realized through the

process that it wasn't about "what will not be such a bad punishment if I

do this again" but it WAS about, "it won't matter the punishment if I

DON’T do this behavior again!"

Lori M

I have 3 teens and all I can say is, with teens you have to be real.

Authenticity is the only accepted route with them. Discipline at this age

for us is mostly natural negative consequences and natural positive

outcomes of whatever it is they're doing.

Ron N Heather

I think communication is the key.

Julie C

Explain to them that I do not appreciate the disrespectful behavior and

how would they feel if others treated them that way... if the behavior

persists throughout the day they loose privileges

Krystal D

I think it depends on your teenager. Honestly, you can take away

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privileges and cell phones but at that age, if they set their mind to

breaking the rules, they are going to. I have 4 sons and my oldest is 21.

What works best for me is being consistent. Mean what you say and

follow through. The boys know that Mom always means what she says.

Tracy H

I talk a lot with my daughter (17). I've been talking with her for a long

time now. I say "with" her because I think as a child enters teenager-

dom, it's important to listen as much as we talk. It's important to share

with your teen your own experiences as a teen and realize that they are

going through the same things and more as we did as teens.

Karmen P

I think parenting teens is a whole other world than younger children.

This is such an important time of necessary separation and individuation

that is rarely smooth and easy. Teens are wanting more independence

physically and emotionally and intellectually. They are struggling at the

same time with defining themselves and dealing with all the insecurities

of adolescences. Consistent structure is important, with clear guidelines

about behavior is important with consequences. They also need to know

that you are valuing their tasks at hand.

Laura Hertzfeld Katz

Trying to get your family talking around the dinner table?

Try TableTopics. These conversation starters will

eliminate the awkward silence and help you learn more

about one another. {Read more}

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29

Anita asked: What are some tips on implementing discipline and

curbing naughty behavior without mommy "losing it" in the

process?

Unless it is something that definitely warrants time out to think about

what he has done, then I do distraction method, which also gives

momma some time to be distracted without losing it.

Amy S

Deep breaths! Pray before you respond. It's HARD, I KNOW. But I can

usually avoid totally "losing it" if I can remember to do that!

A Classic Housewife in a Modern World

I know we all tend to "loose" it, but there has to be some creative ways

to demonstrate the lessons. I'm waiting for the answers too! Can't wait

to hear!

Nickie H

For my son, when he is losing it, if I look at him as a hurting little guy

that needs help it's very helpful. Also, he responds really well to touch

when he is losing it - hugs, holding his hand, putting my hand on his

shoulder, etc.

Kate P

Choose your battles and be consistent. I also find it helps to give a

warning first to give them a chance to fix their behavior. In the warning,

state the punishment and then follow through with it if they do not

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correct the behavior.

Danielle G

Be sure to take care of yourself and know those times during the month

when you are going to be at a low point. Get enough rest, eat well, etc.

Those things go a long way to helping respond correctly.

Grapevine Bible Studies

For younger children- involvement with them and redirecting their focus

works well. For older children, we use a more democratic method.

Logical consequences and family discussions. And lots of prayer!

Sometimes when I get upset I have to step away and pray first, calm

myself and remind myself of God's grace in the situation.

Aadel B

Redirecting works well for us with our young children. Deep breaths,

praying works for me.

Kelly H

I think most of us could use help here!! I do try to remember to pray

before I respond... when I get quiet and just kinda sit and close my eyes,

it tends to get pretty quiet and "back on track"...

Lori M

I think it’s good for the kids to know the structure first. What are the

consequences for certain naughty behaviors? Take a step back and

breathe. Then try to be as clear as you can in the moment and make

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sure they understand what the right thing to do is.

Laura Hertzfeld Katz

What about children with special needs? Do you have the same

discipline for your autistic child as your other children? How do

you handle the emotional behavior that they sometimes cannot

seem to control?

We took a parenting class when our special needs child was very young.

We use discipline methods that are appropriate for each child while

treating them as equally as possible.

Aimee S

We have a little boy in our Sunday school class that is Autistic. We just

try to redirect his attention to something he likes to do such as singing

or dancing around. When it comes to other children, we tell them what

to do rather than redirect them. When he does get upset, we sit on the

floor with him and talk in a quiet voice so he will stop and listen.

Nicole K

My 4 year old son has Apraxia. We have been teaching him sign

language so that he can express his wants, needs and emotions. This has

Do you struggle with Mommy Rage? Need

some help with managing your anger?

{Read more}

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32

helped. I try to treat him just as I do my other children but I also have to

keep in mind sometimes that his behavior is related to his difficulty in

expressing himself.

Barbara D

We redirect by going outside and try to remember he has a hard time

expressing himself, which makes him upset and frustrated.

Jessica F

I think it really depends on their understanding. It would be much too

broad to lump all children with special needs or even all children on the

Autism Spectrum into the same boat. For us, Lira completely

understands right from wrong so we can discipline her like the others.

However, when she loses control, we restrain her. (She is in my lap with

my arms and legs wrapped around her.) I tell her, "When you can

control yourself, I will let you go. It is up to you. I will let you go anytime

you want. You just have to control yourself."

Meet Penny

I try not to treat my son drastically different than my other children. He

has mild autism, and understands when I tell him “no.” But when he is

having a bad day and has his kicking and screaming spells (which have

been known to last 6 hours +) I just let him be. I know he doesn't do it

on purpose. I have 4 children older than him and 1 younger than him, so

we all just "go with it."

Brandi H