Developing Your EIDeveloping Your EIhttp://eqi.org/summary.htmhttp://eqi.org/summary.htm

Developing EIDeveloping EI1. Become emotionally literate 1. Become emotionally literate

• Use three word sentences beginning with “I feel”Use three word sentences beginning with “I feel”• Label Feelings NOT people or situationsLabel Feelings NOT people or situations

• ““I feel impatient” – NOT “This is ridiculous”I feel impatient” – NOT “This is ridiculous”• ““I feel hurt and bitter” – NOT “You are an insensitive I feel hurt and bitter” – NOT “You are an insensitive

jerk!”jerk!”• ““I feel afraid.” – NOT “You are driving like an idiot.”I feel afraid.” – NOT “You are driving like an idiot.”

2. 2. Distinguish between thoughts and Distinguish between thoughts and feelings.feelings.• Thought: “I feel like …”Thought: “I feel like …”• Feeling: “I feel…”Feeling: “I feel…”

13A, 1D, 3D

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Developing EIDeveloping EI3.3. Take more responsibility for your feelings. Take more responsibility for your feelings.

• Avoid the “you” wordAvoid the “you” word• ““I feel jealous” NOT “You are making me jealous”I feel jealous” NOT “You are making me jealous”

4.4. Use feelings to help make decisionsUse feelings to help make decisions• How will I feel if I do this?How will I feel if I do this?• How will I feel if I don’t do this?How will I feel if I don’t do this?• What will make me feel better?What will make me feel better?

5A,11A,7D

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Developing EIDeveloping EI

5.5. Set feeling goals Set feeling goals • How do you want to feel?How do you want to feel?• How do you want to make others feel?How do you want to make others feel?

6.6. Feel energized, not angry. Feel energized, not angry. • Turn what others call “anger” into energy for Turn what others call “anger” into energy for

a productive actiona productive action

10D,12D

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Developing EIDeveloping EI7.7. Validate other people’s feelings Validate other people’s feelings • Accept the individuality of othersAccept the individuality of others

• Do NOT ignore, judge, or rejectDo NOT ignore, judge, or reject

• Show empathyShow empathy• Put yourself in the other person’s placePut yourself in the other person’s place

8.8. Use feelings to help show respect for othersUse feelings to help show respect for others• How will YOU feel if I do this?How will YOU feel if I do this?• How will YOU feel if I don’t do this?How will YOU feel if I don’t do this?• What will make YOU feel better?What will make YOU feel better?

4A, 6A, 2D, 4D

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Developing EQDeveloping EQ9. 9. Don't advise, command, control, Don't advise, command, control,

criticize, judge or lecture to others. criticize, judge or lecture to others. • Listen and Show Empathy insteadListen and Show Empathy instead

10.10. Avoid people who invalidate Avoid people who invalidate you. you. • spend less time with themspend less time with them• try not to let them have psychological try not to let them have psychological

power over you. power over you.

8A, 9D

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1.1. Which one of the following is Which one of the following is NOT an example of being NOT an example of being emotionally literate?emotionally literate?

I feel sadI feel sad

You are making me sadYou are making me sad

I feel unhappyI feel unhappy

I feel all alone in thisI feel all alone in this

B.C.D.

A.

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2.2. Which word should you avoid Which word should you avoid in order to take more in order to take more responsibility for your responsibility for your feelings?feelings?

I I FeelFeelYouYouSadSad

B.C.D.

A.

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3.3. When setting goals for your When setting goals for your feelings consider what you feelings consider what you wantwant

To feelTo feel

Others to feelOthers to feel

For supperFor supper

Both A and BBoth A and B

B.C.D.

A.

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4.4. Try to change anger intoTry to change anger into

WordsWords

FeelingsFeelings

EnergyEnergy

Both A and BBoth A and B

B.C.D.

A.

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5.5. Which is the best example of Which is the best example of turning anger into productive turning anger into productive energy. Your friend lies to you…energy. Your friend lies to you…

Complete a math work sheet in record Complete a math work sheet in record timetime

Tell everyone about itTell everyone about it

Lie about your friendLie about your friend

Let your friend know just how angry you Let your friend know just how angry you areare

B.C.D.

A.

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6.6. How can you validate another How can you validate another person’s feelings?person’s feelings?

Expect them to act like you and your Expect them to act like you and your friendsfriends

Ignore people you don’t know or likeIgnore people you don’t know or like

Reject a suggestion or idea they Reject a suggestion or idea they expressexpress

None of the aboveNone of the above

B.C.D.

A.

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7.7. You can use feelings to show You can use feelings to show respect to someone by respect to someone by considering considering How will the person feel if I do thisHow will the person feel if I do this

How will the person feel if I don’t do How will the person feel if I don’t do thisthis

What will make the person feel betterWhat will make the person feel better

All of the aboveAll of the above

B.C.D.

A.

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8.8. Remembering how you felt in Remembering how you felt in a given situation before a given situation before taking action is an example oftaking action is an example ofExpectancyExpectancy

EmpathyEmpathy

ExperiencingExperiencing

ExcitementExcitement

B.C.D.

A.

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9.9. Criticizing, judging, lecturing, Criticizing, judging, lecturing, ignoring are all examples ofignoring are all examples ofValidationValidation

Victimization Victimization

InvalidationInvalidation

EmotionsEmotions

B.C.D.

A.

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10.10. If someone is invalidating If someone is invalidating you by criticizing, judging, you by criticizing, judging, lecturing, or ignoring you, you lecturing, or ignoring you, you shouldshouldTry harder to please themTry harder to please them

Spend less time with themSpend less time with them

Practice not being influenced by themPractice not being influenced by them

Both B and CBoth B and C

B.C.D.

A.