Developed by - Division of Extension...Taking Care of You: Body, Mind, Spirit General Program...

Developed by:

Molly Vetter-Smith, PhD, MPH, RD State Health Education Specialist

Vera Massey, MS Regional Nutrition and Health Education Specialist

Revised by:

Candance Gabel, MS, RD, LDExtension Associate Professor

Susan Mills-Gray, MSExtension Professor

Taking Care of You: Body, Mind, Spirit

F301 New 4/2011; Revised 9/2016

An EEO/AA employer, University of Wisconsin Extension provides equal opportunities in employment and programming, including Title IX and the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) requirements.

La Universidad de Wisconsin-Extensión, un empleador con igualdad de oportunidades y acción afirmativa (EEO/AA), proporciona igualdad de oportunidades en empleo y programas, incluyendo los requisitos del Título IX (Title IX) y de la Ley para Americanos con Discapacidades (ADA).

Persons with disabilities who require alternative means for communication of program information (Braille, large print, audiotape, etc.) should contact the (program coordinator) or (list the office giving program).

Las personas con discapacidades, que requieran medios alternativos para la comunicación de la información del programa (Braille, materiales impresos con letra grande, grabación en cinta, etc.), deben ponerse en contacto con el (coordinador del programa) o (dé el nombre de la oficina que ofrece el programa.)

University of Missouri Extension 1


General Program Information for Program Facilitators

“Taking Care of You: Body, Mind, Spirit” was developed by a University of Missouri Extension team of faculty led by Molly Vetter-Smith, PhD, MPH, RD, state health education specialist and Vera Massey, MS, regional nutrition and health specialist. Other team members included Regional Nutrition and Health Specialists Linda Rellergert, MS, Lynda Johnson, MS, RD, Mary Wissmann, MS, RD, Susan Mills-Gray, MA, and Regional Human Development Specialists Jane Hunter, MA, and Angie Fletcher, MEd. This version has been updated by Candance Gabel, MS, RD, MU Extension associate professor and Susan Mills-Gray, MS, MU Extension professor.

“Taking Care of You: Body, Mind, Spirit” is a four-session, community-based group program that meets 11⁄2—two hours per week. The program is designed for adults of any age and involves discussions, experiential exercises and mini-lectures. It is not designed as a group therapy program for people with clinical mental health conditions.

A group of 10 to 20 participants is ideal for facilitating “Taking Care of You: Body, Mind, Spirit.” The program has been successful in both rural and urban areas, and in various community-based settings such as community centers, faith-based centers and employee worksites.

“Taking Care of You: Body, Mind, Spirit” integrates various research-based principles and techniques from the field of positive psychology and the scientific study of what causes optimal functioning, with an emphasis on mindfulness. Concepts and strategies from the evidence-based, mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) program by Jon Kabat-Zinn (1990) are included, but adapted for better acceptance in community-based settings, rural or urban. In addition, concepts from wellness experts such as Bill Hettler (1976) and John Travis (2004) are incorporated throughout the curriculum.

2 University of Missouri Extension


Overall program objectives include:

Increasing our awareness of how stress affects our body, thoughts, emotions and behaviors

Learning to manage how we respond to stress with our thoughts, emotions and behaviors

Cultivating positive emotions to improve our resiliency to life’s challenges

Nurturing ourselves to improve the health of our body, mind and spirit

Learning from and finding opportunities in life’s challenges

Living life in line with what we value; recognizing the interrelatedness of the various dimensions of our health and achieving a healthier balance between them

Program outcomes:

Learning outcomes (short-term):

y Participants will increase their awareness of how stress influences their body, emotions, thoughts and health behaviors

y Participants will increase their knowledge of healthy strategies and skills to manage their stress levels

Action outcomes (intermediate term):

y Participants will apply the strategies and skills learned in the program into their daily lives to better manage their stress levels

y Participants will improve their lifestyle behaviors

y Participants will be better able to take care of their overall health, including mental, physical and spiritual health

Conditions (long-term):

y Improved participant stress levels will lead to improved management of current health conditions



y Improved participant ability to take care of mental, physical and spiritual health will prevent future health conditions, reducing health care use, lowering health care costs and improving community well-being

Research by Vetter-Smith provides evidence of the effectiveness of “Taking Care of You: Body, Mind, Spirit” in reducing participants’ perceived stress levels and improving healthy lifestyle behaviors. For details, see the 2011 University of Missouri dissertation by Molly Vetter-Smith, “An Evaluation of a Community-Based Stress Management Pilot Program.”

The curriculum contained within this manual provides the following for each of the four program sessions:

Materials list

Overview of session topics

Key concepts taught within each session

Recommended preparation readings for facilitators

Session content (including the facilitator script and directions)

We strongly recommend the preparation readings listed within this manual to help facilitators fully understand the curriculum’s content and effectively lead this program. These readings include:

y R. Foster and G. Hicks with J. Seda, Happiness & Health: 9 Choices to Unlock the Powering Connection between the Two Things We Want Most (New York: Penguin Group, 2008).

y J. Kabat-Zinn, Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness (New York: Delta Trade Paperbacks, 1990).

y S. Lyubomirsky, The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want (New York: Penguin Group Inc., 2008).

y The Hawn Foundation, The MindUP Curriculum: Grades 6-8 (Scholastic Inc., 2011).

y The Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley, http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/mindfulness/definition.



In addition, the following books are recommended as additional optional resources to help facilitate the program:

y S. Albers, Eat, Drink, and Be Mindful (Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, Inc., 2008).

y M. Boroson, One-Moment Meditation: Stillness for People on the Go (Port Jefferson Station, NY: Winter Road Publishing, 2009).

y J. W. Travis and R. S. Ryan, Wellness Workbook: How to Achieve Enduring Health and Vitality, 3rd ed. (Berkeley, CA: Celestial Arts, 2004).

References:

Beck, J.S. 1995. Cognitive therapy: Basics and beyond. New York: Gilford Press.

Hettler, B. 1976. Six dimensions of wellness. http://www.nationalwellness.org/?page=Six_Dimensions.

Kabat-Zinn, J. 1990. Full catastrophe living: Using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain, and illness. New York: Delta Trade Paperbacks.

Travis, J. W. and R. S. Ryan. 2004. Wellness workbook: How to achieve enduring health and vitality. 3rd ed. Berkeley, CA: Celestial Arts.



Table of Contents

General Program Information for Program Facilitators

Session 1: Dimensions of Wellness and Mind-Body Connection

Session 2: Happiness, Learning to Practice Self-Care and Living in the Moment

Session 3: Freeing Yourself From the Constraints of Time and Dealing With Life Changes

Session 4: Coping with Stressful Situations You Can’t Control and Moving Forward

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7

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Materials needed: � Sign-in sheet

� Cardstock and markers for participant name tents

� Writing utensils for participants

� Folders for all participants

� Envelopes (legal-size)

� Music player and the song “Respect,” by Aretha Franklin

� Glass or bottle of water for “Water Glass” story

� PowerPoint slides:

y “Taking Care of You”

y “What Do You Find Stressful?”

y “What Do You Find Stressful?—Expectations”

y “This Program Will Help You…”

y “Iceberg of Health”

y “Spirit Health Qualities”

y “Filing Stress Away”

y “All Is Well”

y “Triangle of Awareness”


y “Gas Tank Gauge”

y “Dimensions of Wellness Wheel”

y “Dimensions of Wellness Discussion”

y “Body Scan”

y “Taking Note of Stressful Situations”

y “As a Result of This Program…”

� Handouts

y “We’re Just Asking for a Little RESPECT”


y “Dimensions of Wellness”

y “Taking Note of Stressful Situations”

y “At the End of This Program, I…”

� Evaluation forms

y Class roster

y Pre-program survey

� Resources

y PowerPoint handout with notes for presenter

Session 1: Dimensions of Wellness and Mind-Body ConnectionTaking Care of You: Body, Mind, Spirit




Overview:1. Introduction

2. Guiding principles of the program

3. Evaluation, pre-program survey

4. Program overview

5. Iceberg of health

6. Spirit health qualities

7. Water glass activity and setting stuff aside

8. Triangle of awareness

9. Gas tank analogy

10. Dimensions of wellness

11. Spirit health qualities

12. Discussion activity

13. Body scan meditation

14. Take-home assignment

• Taking note of stressful situations

• Program goals

Key session concepts:1. Introduction of key program concepts

2. Setting goals for the program

3. Mind-body connection

4. Mindfulness and awareness

5. Dimensions of health and interrelatedness

Preparation readings:1. “Full Catastrophe Living,” by Jon

Kabat-Zinn

a. Introduction (Pages 1-14)

b. Chapter 5

c. Chapter 15

d. Chapter 16

e. Chapter 20

f. Chapter 21

2. “The How of Happiness,” by Sonja Lyubomirsky

a. Chapter 9

3. Optional: “Wellness Workbook” by John Travis and Regina Sara Ryan

a. Introduction (Pages xvii-xxxiv)

b. Chapter 1: Sections 1.5, 1.7 and 1.10

c. Chapter 11: Introduction and Section 11.3




Session content

1. Introduction

As participants arrive, provide each with cardstock and marker to make a name tent

Remind participants to turn off cell phones

Welcome participants and introduce yourself

Introduce University of Missouri Extension and briefly explain what extension is; mention other programming you offer

2. Guiding principles of the program

Play short segment of the song “Respect,” by Aretha Franklin

Give participants “We’re Just Asking for a Little RESPECT” handout

Explain that handout is to help get everyone on the same page, so we can have the most productive program possible

Summarize key points

Ask for questions or comments

3. Evaluation, pre-program survey

Give participants a pre-program survey. Tell participants:

y In order to measure the effects of this program and see how we can improve it, I would like to ask you to take time to complete this program’s evaluation.

y The purpose of the program evaluation is to provide University of Missouri Extension with feedback about the program’s effectiveness, what participants gain from it and how it could be improved. Ask participants to sit in a different chair each week, so they can meet someone new




4. Program overview: What’s in it for me?

Referring to PowerPoint slide “Taking Care of You,” tell participants:

y Today we have many demands on our time, and we are expected to do everything well—for example, balancing work and family time, caring for a parent or running kids around. Life can be hard. Life can be unfair; and life can be wonderful! Regardless of the stress in our lives, it can all be overwhelming.

y All too often we overextend ourselves to meet the demands of life.

Referring to “What Do You Find Stressful?” PowerPoint slide(s), discuss:

y There are exciting and good things that happen in our lives that cause stress, and then there are events and situations that cause bad stress.

y How does it make you feel when you overextend yourself?

Referring to “What Do You Find Stressful?—Expectations” PowerPoint slide, tell participants:

y This program will not solve all of your problems. It will help you explore strategies to better deal with life’s demands. No one’s life is ever “balanced.” Finding a way to a healthier life lies within you.

Referring to “This Program Will Help You...” PowerPoint slide, tell participants:

y This program might have you do things that may be a little out of your comfort zone and possibly challenging for you. We encourage you to keep an open mind and give them a try.

Share what others have said they gained from this program:

y “It is OK to say ‘No.’ We have to think about ourselves more than others sometimes. It is also good to have fun, or ‘play.’ Even adults need fun in their lives.”

y “How to think about what is important in life.”




y “Increased my awareness of my reactions to stressful situations and how to remain calm.”

y “To slow down. One step at a time can make a difference.”

y “It helped me focus on what matters and not worry about the things I have no control over.”

y “I’m calmer and feel I can handle my daily life in a better way. It has motivated me to take care of myself and to take more time to get healthy.”

Summarize overall program sessions:

y The program will include discussions, hands-on activities and short take-home activities.

y The take-home activities will help you work on skills between sessions to get the most out of the program.

Explain purpose of today’s lesson:

y Our focus will be on the dimensions of wellness, mind-body connection and working through stressful situations. Provide highlights of subsequent sessions:

y Referring to “This Program Will Help You…” PowerPoint slide, tell participants they’ll have opportunities to learn strategies on how to:

º Take better care of all aspects of your health.

º Become more aware of how stress affects you.

º Deal with stress in your life over which you may or may not have control.

º Learn from and find opportunities in life’s challenges.

º Bring more joy into your life.

º Each session you are investing in “you!”




5. Iceberg of health:

Give participants the “Iceberg of Health” handout

Display the “Iceberg of Health” PowerPoint slide for reference

Tip of an iceberg—our state of health. Tell participants:

y Let’s think of our health as being like an iceberg. The tip, or the part showing above water, is our “state of health” at this moment.

y This layer is a result of the layers beneath. It represents the part of our health and well-being that is evident to ourselves and others through signs and symptoms.

y Discuss: What are signs and symptoms of stress, or signs and symptoms that our body, mind or spirit are not well?

º Examples include illness, such as cold or flu, pain, fatigue, heartburn, tense muscles, eye twitch, headache, depressed mood, low energy levels, not smiling or laughing easily, crying easily, feeling nervous or anxious or having trouble sleeping.

y This layer represents the sum, or the outcomes, of the layers beneath. The “Taking Care of You” program will focus on these layers underwater, the aspects of our health that we often do not acknowledge.

Explain physical health:

y The top layer is supported by the layers beneath, or the layers underwater. The first layer underwater represents our physical health, which is often a result of our genetics and, importantly, our lifestyle behaviors.

y Eating and physical activity habits, stress relief, sleeping patterns and substance use (alcohol, tobacco, drugs) all play a role in our well-being.

y Our lifestyle behaviors most directly affect our physical health, which affects our current state of health or the tip of the iceberg.




y Many of us struggle with maintaining a healthy lifestyle! For example, we struggle with eating healthier, engaging in regular physical activity or getting enough sleep. Often we are initially successful when we try to change these lifestyle patterns, but eventually fall back into our old habits.

y Have you ever wondered why it is so difficult to make such lifestyle changes in your life?

Explain mental health and social health:

y To understand this we must look deeper into the next layer of the iceberg: our mental health and social health.

y This layer influences our lifestyle behaviors and subsequently our current state of health.

y Our mental health and social health are difficult to completely separate because they overlap in some ways. For example, having meaningful relationships with others helps us cope with our emotions better.

y Discuss: When you think of mental health (not mental illness), what comes to mind? You may think of:

º Intellectual health: The performance of mental functions or activities such as reading, writing, communicating, learning new things, creating new ideas or ways to do things, solving problems, planning, analyzing situations or engaging in challenging mental activities.

º Emotional health: Expressing emotions, coping with emotions in a healthy way, adapting to change, dealing with life’s adversity or challenges, having a positive attitude most of the time and a positive self-concept.




y Discuss: What does social health mean to you? You may think of:

º Having fulfilling relationships with other people, having people to express emotions with, people to share life’s joys and letdowns with, enjoying doing things with other people, listening to others and having others listen to you.

º If we are mentally healthy, we are more likely to be socially healthy.

º Social and emotional health support physical health changes you may want to make.

Explain spirit health:

y The bottom layer of the iceberg is known as the health of our spirit. It influences every layer above it.

y Often we think of religion when we think of spiritual health. Practicing a religion is a way to nurture our spiritual health, but there are many other ways as well.

y Before we can identify other ways to nurture the health of our spirit, we need to first understand what spiritual health really is.

6. Discuss “Spirit Health Qualities” PowerPoint slide with participants

Having a healthy spirit entails:

y Living a life with meaning and purpose (a fulfilling life).

º Living your life in harmony with core values, guiding principles, beliefs, and ethics, and

º Feeling good about and caring for yourself and others.

y If we are struggling with this layer—such as living life out of harmony with our values—struggles in other layers of the iceberg are likely.

º For example, this may result in less-than-ideal mental well-being and lifestyle choices that likely lead to a less-than-ideal state of health.




Referring to the “Iceberg of Health” PowerPoint slide, tell participants: Our environment and culture affects our health

y The environment we live in and the culture we are part of can affect all the dimensions of health or layers of the iceberg.

y Our environment involves our surroundings, like our community, climate and neighborhood, and where we spend time, such as our home and workplace.

y Our culture involves the groups of people we surround ourselves and identify with, such as family, friends and co-workers. This includes group norms, beliefs, behaviors and values.

y Both our environment and culture strongly influence all aspects of our health.

y Discuss: Can anyone give me an example of how our environment or culture can affect our lifestyle behaviors?

º Examples include access to healthy and unhealthy food, parks or safe places to exercise.

º Or family members who value healthy eating, spending time with friends who engage in heavy drinking, co-workers who work long hours or a workplace that offers flextime.

Summary of iceberg concept

y This iceberg model shows how every aspect of our health is connected.

y It is difficult to change a lifestyle behavior without first digging deeper to find out what causes you to struggle in adopting a healthier behavior or what draws you to a less healthy lifestyle.

y The goal of this program is to help you learn how to take better care of yourself to lead a healthier life. We will focus on the deeper layers of the iceberg and how they impact your overall health and quality of life. Break

Optional: Have music playing as participants come back from their break. Suggested songs: “Here Comes the Sun” by The Beatles or “A Beautiful Morning” by The Rascals




7. Water glass example; setting your “stuff” aside activity; “All is Well” PowerPoint slide

Activity: Water glass or bottle of water

y Raise a glass of water and ask participants: “How heavy do you think this glass of water is?”

º Give participants time to answer.

º Tell participants: “The actual weight does not matter. It depends on how long you hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it is okay. If I hold it for an hour, my arm will ache. If I hold it for a day, I may have to call the ambulance. It is the exact same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later we will not be able to carry on. The burden becomes increasingly heavier. What you have to do is put the glass down and rest for a while before holding it up again.”

Activity: Setting your “stuff” aside. Refer to “Filing Stressors Away” PowerPoint slide

y Provide each participant with a blank, half-sheet of paper and a pen or pencil. Lead the activity by telling participants:

º This example illustrates how we have to set aside our responsibilities or all the stuff going on in our head periodically, so that we can be refreshed and able to carry on. I am going to ask you to let go of all your stuff for the next hour, whatever that may be for you.

º Take this moment to think about what is on your mind right now: thoughts you have about things you need to do, worries you may have or whatever is bugging you. Write it down on the piece of paper in front of you. This will not be shared with anyone, so write down what you are really thinking.

• Give participants time to write something on their paper.

º Now, take this piece of paper, turn it over and set it aside. You can pick it up later, if you want, after today’s session. Or you may decide to not pick it up later.




º Wouldn’t it be great if we could deal with stress like this? Let’s give this a try. Remember, it is there for you to pick up later, so try to leave it alone for the next hour and bring your full attention to the present.

Referring to “All is Well” PowerPoint slide, tell participants:

y All is well in this moment. Not thinking about everything else going on in your life, but being here, right now, in this class, all is well.

y This is your opportunity to let that stuff go for now. It doesn’t mean that what you wrote down is gone — it means you’ve put it aside for now, allowing you to open your mind to see things differently. Each week you come, you have the opportunity to put aside the demands in your life, relax and enjoy your time here. All is well while you are here.

y Now we are going to discuss the different aspects of health and how each one affects the other. You will have an opportunity to try a strategy you can use to help you become more aware of how your body responds to stress.

8. Discuss “Triangle of Awareness” PowerPoint slide with participants

Let’s take a look at this triangle of awareness. Our thoughts lead to emotions; both our thoughts and emotions can lead to body sensations

We all have different reactions to stress. If I get upset sitting in traffic I may become irritated, and my blood pressure may rise or my face become flushed. Of if my thoughts lead to something sad in my life, I become depressed and my body in general will have a heavy, downtrodden feeling

These responses are all connected...

9. Referring to the “Gas Tank Gauge” PowerPoint slide, tell participants: (Can also use a cell phone battery as an example) Compare your life to driving a car: When the gas gauge is running on

empty, it is difficult or impossible to keep going. Just like when we’ve been stressed for a period of time, we begin to feel drained and worn out. Makes it difficult to keep going




We notice our energy levels or “gas gauge” going down, but we keep pushing. The longer we go feeling stressed without taking time to “fill up,” the harder it is to keep going. Our bodies, emotions and thoughts are telling us to “Stop!” and take time to “fill up”

We would never criticize our cars for dropping to empty, so why criticize ourselves for becoming drained emotionally or physically?

It is time to “fill up” on things that bring us positive energy such as joy, peace or comfort, so we can go again. What you need to fill up may be as simple as taking time to appreciate things in life, such as playing with kids or pets, listening to music, spending time with a friend who makes you laugh, spending time in nature or doing something nice for someone else

Once we “fill up,” we are better able to deal with life’s challenges and live with more enthusiasm

How can we identify when our gas tanks are running on empty?

y Some of us notice stress first through sensations or symptoms and signs our bodies send us; others have changes in thoughts or emotions.

y We all have our unique patterns when we are stressed.

y Noticing your own patterns is the first step.

Discuss common physical, mental and emotional responses to stress:

y What does your body feel like when you are stressed? Example responses: Stomachache; heartburn; eye twitch; trouble falling asleep; clenched fist; change in appetite; lip biting; racing heartbeat; flushed skin; pain feeling more intense; exhausted.

y How does stress affect your thoughts? Example responses: I worry more; I think things will turn out badly; I think I’m failing others; I daydream about unrealistic things (for example, quitting my job and living on an island far away); I think everyone has it easier than me; I have unrealistic expectations; I take things personally; I jump to negative conclusions.




y How does stress affect your emotions? Example responses: I get sad or angry easily; I feel like my life is out of my control; I feel guilty or like a failure; I am anxious, easily annoyed and jealous of others; I feel depressed or resentful.

When we are stressed we often go on autopilot. This means we’re not aware of what we are doing or feeling or what messages our bodies are trying to send us. In other words, we are not fully present for much of our lives while we do tasks such as brushing teeth, putting on makeup, shaving, fixing a bowl of cereal or driving

y By being more aware of our thoughts, feelings and body sensations, we allow ourselves the opportunity to respond to situations with choice, rather than by reacting automatically. Let’s start today by being more aware of the sensations or messages our bodies are sending, and how we can use these messages to bring awareness to the moment.

Discuss these messages that physical reactions send during stressful situations

y For example, you may be in a hurry but wind up standing in a long line, stuck in traffic or behind a slow vehicle on the road. Does this situation sound familiar?

º How does your body react to this type of situation? What messages does your body send you? (For example, you may respond with tense muscles, increased heart rate, rapid breathing, sweaty palms, clenched fist, etc.)

º What thoughts and emotions do you think and feel?

y Next time you find yourself in a stressful situation, bring your attention to the messages your body sends you. Notice how these messages change your response to the situation.

y If we are aware, we have an opportunity to do something different. It is about responding with choice instead of reacting automatically.




10. Dimensions of wellness

As I mentioned earlier, our health has many aspects, including physical, mental, emotional, social and spiritual. Remember the iceberg of health?

Referring to the “Iceberg of Health” PowerPoint slide and handout, tell participants:

y The bottom layers affect the layers above, resulting in lifestyle behaviors and our ultimate state of health. Now we are going to talk more about each of these layers of the iceberg. When we think about our health, we often think of our physical health—but we are more than our physical health. Our health is made up of all of these dimensions: physical, mental (including both the emotional and intellectual dimensions), social and spiritual.

Referring to the PowerPoint slide “Dimensions of Wellness Wheel,” tell participants:

y Another way of thinking about these dimensions of wellness, or dimensions of health, is to look at how they are interrelated.

y If we ignore one or more of the dimensions of our health, our life becomes unbalanced. Think of it as a bicycle wheel: When one of the spokes in the wheel is missing, the wheel begins to wobble.

y Look outside of the circle and be aware of how your environment and your culture influence each of these dimensions. This awareness affects your overall health.

y For example:

º If you take care of your physical health by eating well and exercising but neglect your social well-being, your physical health may suffer. You may get sick more easily, have higher blood pressure or sleep poorly.

º If you have a job or career path that is not fulfilling, it can affect your mood, which can affect your relationships—ultimately affecting your physical and spirit health.

y Discuss: What are some other examples of how not doing well in one dimension affects other dimensions.




y Tell participants that being unaware of or not taking care of each of these dimensions can lead to mental or physical illness, problems in your relationships with others or cause your spirit to suffer.

y Taking care of all of your dimensions is critical!

Give participants the “Dimensions of Wellness” handout and explain:

y This handout provides examples of how to nourish and cultivate each one of the dimensions of health.

º Physical dimension: This handout gives ideas for improving or maintaining your physical health. Also, focusing on your breathing calms your body and helps lower blood pressure.

• Read a few examples aloud from the handout of ways to improve one’s physical health.

º Mental dimension: Mental health includes intellectual and emotional wellness.

º Intellectual dimension: You don’t necessarily have to go to work or take a class to cultivate your intellectual wellness. Traveling someplace new or trying something new will nourish and help preserve your mind. Taking this program improves your intellectual wellness.

• Read a few examples aloud from the handout of ways to nourish one’s intellectual wellness.

º Emotional dimension: Emotional wellness is about dealing with negative feelings in a healthy way, appreciating yourself, feeling good about who you are and talking or thinking positively to yourself.

• Read a few examples aloud from the handout of ways to nourish one’s emotional wellness.




º Relationships or social dimension: This aspect of health is about having people you trust to talk to, enjoy life with, share feelings with and listen to. Being with other people is what makes life a drama; it makes us feel part of something and makes life worth living.

• Read a few examples aloud from the handout of ways to cultivate one’s social wellness.

º Spirit dimension: This involves getting in touch with your core, otherwise known as your spirit or soul. The word “spirit” means “to inspire.” So when you are doing things that inspire you, you are nurturing your spirit.

Spiritual health is about getting to know who you are, where you are going in life, your purpose, values, beliefs and guiding principles for living.

11. Referring to PowerPoint slide “Spirit Health Qualities,” review the following points with participants:

Tuning into your spirit side can be a very powerful resource for dealing with stress and physical health problems

y It can also be a source of great distress, if you are not in touch with your values and beliefs. For example, if you are the type who always says “yes” when someone asks you to do something, this may prevent you from living out your core values, like spending time with your family.

y Read a few examples aloud of ways to cultivate one’s spirit wellness.

Throughout this program we will discuss and conduct various activities that will help you work on your spirit dimension

You may feel stressed when you think about taking time out to work on a dimension of health you are neglecting. You may feel like you are adding yet another thing to your life that you should be doing. If this is the case, you may be expending too much time and attention on one dimension. You may need to take time to assess your life to determine which dimension you are focusing too much time and attention on, so you can open up time to take care of the dimension you are neglecting




Ask yourself:

y Am I being a perfectionist in one area of my life that is taking up a lot of my time and attention? For example, working long hours, spending a lot of time with friends, going to the gym for many hours each day?

y Am I neglecting other areas because of this?

y Is there any way I could spend less time and attention in the dimension that is taking too much of my time and attention?

You may have to make compromises and let yourself know that sometimes “good enough” just has to be “good enough.” For example, working an eight-hour day versus a 10- to 12-hour day may just need to be “good enough;” spending time with friends once per week instead of two or three times per week may just need to be “good enough;” working out for 45 minutes instead of 11⁄2 hours every day may need to be “good enough”

12. Have participants pair up. Ask them to refer to the “Dimensions of Wellness Discussion” PowerPoint slide and discuss the following questions for the next five minutes:

Which dimension are you struggling with the most or neglecting?

How does this affect other dimensions of your health? Is there a dimension taking up too much of your time and attention?

What compromise could you make to focus a little less time and attention on this dimension?

What is something you could do to improve or nourish the dimension of health and wellness that you are neglecting?

Use “Dimensions of Wellness” handout for ideas




13. Experiential activity: Body scan meditation

Referring to “Body Scan” PowerPoint slide, tell participants: We will now provide an opportunity for you to experience a strategy you can use every day

y This activity will help increase your awareness of your body’s messages. People say this strategy can help them fall asleep at night, deal better with pain or anxiety and control negative thoughts.

y This activity may be easy for some and difficult for others. Approach it with an open mind about what it might do for you.

y This activity may be relaxing. Don’t feel guilty if you start to fall asleep.

As we go through this activity, you might find it difficult to keep your mind from jumping to different things or wondering when this will be over

y When you catch yourself thinking about something else, simply note it and bring yourself back to the moment.

y Try to avoid thinking that there is a right or wrong way of doing this.

y Let go of any critical judgments you may have about your body, pain you are having or what this activity will do for you. Try to maintain awareness of your body’s sensations without judging the sensations—stay in the moment.

º OK, let’s begin. In your chair, find a comfortable position. Comfortably rest your hands in your lap. Place both feet flat on the floor. Allow your eyes to close. Take a few seconds to feel your whole body at once from head to toe. (Pause five seconds.)

º Start by bringing your attention to your breath. Notice your lungs taking air in, and moving air out. Don’t try to control the rhythm of your breathing. Let your body do what it knows how to do all by itself. (Pause 10 seconds.)

º Each time you breathe in, think of this bringing energy and life to your body. Each time you breathe out, think of this as expelling the tension and worries you have inside of you. Fall into a deeper state of relaxation each time you breathe out. (Pause 10 seconds.)




º Bring your attention to your feet. (Pause three seconds.) Feel how they are making contact with the floor. Feel the sense of touch or pressure. Imagine your breath traveling to your feet. (Pause 10 seconds.)

º With the next “out” breath, let go of your attention from your feet and bring your attention to your lower legs. (Pause three seconds.) Feel the sensations of the muscles of your lower legs. With each inhale bring energy to these muscles, and with each exhale think of these muscles becoming more relaxed. (Pause 10 seconds.)

º Next, bring your focus to your thigh muscles, noticing what is present in this part of the body. (Pause three seconds.) Feel your breath going to these muscles, and relax them with each exhale. (Pause 10 seconds.)

º Direct your awareness to your lower back. (Pause three seconds.) If this is a place of discomfort for you, try not to judge it or make it any different—just be aware of it. Use your breath to bring life to this area. As you breathe out, let go of any tension you may feel in this part of your body. (Pause 10 seconds.)

º Bring your attention to your shoulders and your neck. (Pause three seconds.) This is an area where we often hold tension. Try to feel the sensations deep in those muscles. For each out breath, try to relax these muscles more and more. (Pause 10 seconds.)

º Finally, bring your attention to your forehead and other muscles in your face. Notice any sensations you may have in this part of your body. Take a few breaths with full awareness and relaxation. (Pause 10 seconds.)

º Now, bring your attention back to your body as a whole. Think of your breath moving through your entire body: In through your feet and out through the top of your head, with all of your muscles in a state of relaxation—being aware of the moment in stillness and peace. (Pause 10 seconds.)

º When you are ready, slowly bring your attention back to the room and gently open your eyes.

º Take note of how you are feeling at this point, without judgment. Briefly discuss: How was this experience for you? Was it challenging, enjoyable or relaxing?




º This is a great strategy to use if you are feeling anxious or having trouble falling asleep. Even a brief body scan or a few deep breaths can be helpful. Next week, we’ll talk about a one-minute breathing exercise that can help you relax and get your mind off things that are bothering you.

14. Take-home assignments: Taking note of stressful situations and participant program goals

Referring to the “Taking Note of Stressful Situations” PowerPoint slide and distributing the “Taking Note of Stressful Situations” handout, tell participants:

y As you go through the next week and find yourself in a stressful situation, take a moment to notice sensations in your body. What are the messages your body is sending you? On this handout, write down the situation and your body’s responses. Notice how this awareness changes your reaction.

y Also, try doing a body scan sometime during the day this next week. Pick a time of day that will work for you every day. For most people, it is easiest to do either before you go to sleep or right when you wake up. Do it for however long or short of a time you want—it may be for only minute, or you might want to spend half an hour. Either way is fine. Just try to bring your attention to each body part; and when you find your mind wandering, just bring focus back to your body.

Give participants the handout, “At the End of This Program, I…”

Give each participant an envelope and ask that they write their name on the front of the envelope, telling them:

y I want you to take a few minutes right now to think about where you want to be at the end of this program.

Referring to the “As a Result of This Program…” PowerPoint slide, review with participants:

y What is it you want to change about yourself? What are you hoping to achieve as a result of this program? What are you hoping to be doing differently at the end of this program? Why are you here?




y Take some time to think about this and write your answers on this handout. You do not need to answer to all of these questions.

y If you need more time to complete this, work on it during the week and bring it to the next session.

y When you are done, place this paper in your envelope and seal it. Please write your name on the envelope. I will not read what you write on this paper. These are personal for you. During the last session, you will get these back in the sealed envelope.

References:




Tubesing, D. A. and N. L. Tubesing. 1991. Seeking your healthy balance: A do-it-yourself guide to whole person well-being. Duluth, MN: Whole Person Associates.

University of Missouri Mindfulness Practice Center. https://www.umsystem.edu/totalrewards/wellness/mindfulness/mindfulness_practices.


Taking Care of You: Body, Mind, SpiritSession 1: Dimensions of Wellness and Mind-Body Connection




� Name tents and markers


� Music player

� Song for before class begins (optional)

� Song for play activity

� PowerPoint slides

y “Review: Taking Note of Stressful Situations”


y “Say ‘Yes’ to You”

y “What I Value in My Life”

y “Learning to Play Again”

y “Just Breathe”

y “Joy List Activity”

y “Living Your Joy List”

y “Monkey Mind”

y “Your Brain”

y “You Always Have Your Breath”

y “Mindlessness”

y “Mindfulness”

y “Mindfulness” waterfall


y “Why Practice Mindfulness”


y “With Awareness Comes Choice”

y “Mindful Eating”

y “Learning to Live in the Moment”

� Props for the learning-to-play-again activity (e.g., Frisbees, foam balls, bubbles, scarves, balloons)

� 2-liter bottle filled half way with water, sand and glitter to represent a stressed mind

� Tennis ball for dropping in

� Additional items used for refocusing

� Food for mindful eating activity

y Something salty or savory (e.g., chips, nuts, crackers)

y Something sweet (e.g., chocolate, fruit)

y Napkins

� “I’ll Take Mine Hand Cranked” article from http://blog.kevineikenberry.com/uncategorized/ill-take-mine-hand-cranked/


� Handouts



y “My Joy List”

y “Responding Versus Reacting”

y “Living in the Moment”

Overview:1. Review take-home assignment from

previous week

2. Introduction

3. Self-care as part of the dimensions of wellness

4. Activity: Life is too short to…

5. Activity: Learning to play again

6. One-minute breathing

7. Joy list

8. Activity: Bringing more joy to your life and review

9. Introduce mindfulness

10. Your brain

11. Mindlessness

12. Defining mindfulness

13. Why we need mindfulness

14. Living in the moment

15. Mindful eating activity

16. Take-home activity: Learning to live in the moment

Key session concepts:1. Self-care through identifying and

engaging in things that bring positive emotions

2. Using positive emotions to bring you into the moment

3. Mindfulness/awareness/monkey mind/mindlessness

Preparation readings:1. “Happiness & Health,” by Rick Foster

and Greg Hicks, with Jen Seda

a. Chapter 1

b. Chapter 3


a. Chapter 1

b. Chapter 7

3. “Full Catastrophe Living,” by Jon Kabat-Zinn

a. Chapter 1

b. Chapter 2 (Pages 33-40)

c. Chapter 3 (Pages 51–58)

d. Chapter 9

e. Chapter 20

f. Chapter 31

4. The MindUP Curriculum: Grades 6-8, by the Hawn Foundation

a. Importance of Using Your Breath (Page 43)

b. Joy List (Pages 118, 119 and 123)

c. The Stressed Brain (Pages 9, 10, 25, 27, 30, 35 and 77)

5. The Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkley

a. http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/mindfulness/definition

6. Optional: “Eat, Drink and Be Mindful,” by Susan Albers

a. Chapter 1

b. Chapter 3


Taking Care of You: Body, Mind, SpiritSession 2: Happiness, Learning to Practice Self-Care and Living in the Moment


Taking Care of You: Body, Mind, Spirit Session 2: Happiness, Learning to Practice Self-Care and Living in the Moment

Session content

Before class starts:

Optional: Have music playing as participants enter the room. Play a happy, upbeat song such as “Don’t Worry Be Happy,” by Bobby McFerrin; “Happy,” by Leona Lewis; or “Joy to the World,” by Three Dog Night

Remind participants to turn off their cell phones and sit in a seat different than previous week

1. Review take-home assignment from previous week: Taking note of stressful situations

Referring to the PowerPoint slide “Review: Taking Note of Stressful Situations,” have participants pair up and discuss the following:

y Share with each other at least one stressful situation you were in last week. What did you notice about your body during the situation? What were your thoughts and emotions? Did you notice any patterns or triggers to certain body sensations, emotions or thoughts? Did you notice if you changed how you responded once you were aware of your body’s signals?

Tell participants that becoming aware of their reactions to stressful situations is the first step toward change. Often we find ourselves in situations that we cannot change. We have two choices:

y We can either react automatically, which might cause us to get

increasingly worked up, or we can…

y With awareness, choose to respond in a way that can calm us down. We will discuss how to do this in more detail later in the program.

2. Introduction

Highlight today’s class topics:

y Today we are going to focus on happiness, self-care and mindfulness, important elements to add quality to our lives. One leads to the other, and vice versa.

y Doing something to bring happiness to your life and taking care of yourself are two ways to help you deal with stress.



3. Self-care as part of the dimensions of wellness

Referring to “Dimensions of Wellness” handout and PowerPoint slide, tell participants:

y This handout provides ways we can take care of ourselves in each dimension. One thing that can prevent us from taking care of ourselves is saying “Yes” to too many demands, causing us to compromise taking care of ourselves.

Referring to the “Say ‘Yes’ to You” PowerPoint slide, tell participants:

y When life is most demanding, stressful or challenging, we need—more than ever—to take care of ourselves.

y Discuss: What is one thing you can do to take care of yourself during stressful or challenging times? Examples include taking a bath, going for a walk, listening to music, sitting on the porch or enjoying your favorite hobby.

º What are barriers to saying “Yes” to taking care of yourself when you are stressed? How can you overcome these barriers?

y It is important to not feel guilty when taking care of yourself. You must take care of yourself to be able to take care of others and to stay physically and emotionally healthy.

y Saying “Yes” to you means doing things that are nurturing and enjoyable to you. But you need to know what is important to you—or what you value—to do this. This next activity will help you identify your values.

4. Activity: Life is too short to…

Referring to the “What I Value in My Life” PowerPoint slide, give participants the “What I Value in My Life” handout and a writing utensil. Tell them:

y On the left side of this handout, list the things that you feel life is just too short to waste your time doing. For example, for me, life is too short to read junk mail, watch commercials or wear shoes that don’t fit.



y Be honest with yourself. I will give you two minutes to write, so write what comes to your mind first.

º Allow two minutes for participants to write.

y Discuss: Would anyone like to share what they wrote?

y Now, on the right side of the handout, list the things that life is too short to not spend your time doing. Think about all the big and little things that make you feel alive, make life fun or rewarding. For example, for me life is too short not to spend time with friends, watch birds, travel, play with my pets, spend time in nature, etc. Again, I’ll give you two minutes to write.

º Allow two minutes for participants to write.

y Discuss: Would anyone like to share what they wrote? Do you notice any common themes in your lists? For example, things related to people, nature or family?

y What you can gain from these two lists is a sense of the things that you value, as well as the things that are not important to you. What is not worth taking the time and energy to continue doing? Life is too short to not do the things you really value. Happiness isn’t a destination. We need to enjoy the journey to have a meaningful life.

y Referring to “Say ‘Yes’ to You” PowerPoint slide, tell participants: These lists make you more aware of what you say “Yes” to and what you need to say “No” to. Start saying “No” to things that you do not value, and start saying “Yes” to things you do value.

º It’s normal that we create “self-imposed” stress.

º Take a moment to circle two items on the left side of this worksheet that you could stop doing, and two items on the right side you could start doing more often. This is one way to support what you say is important.

y Stress is sometimes a result of not doing the things we value, and spending too much time doing things we don’t value. If everything is important, than nothing is important! Change your thoughts from “I have to,” to “I get to.”

y Use these two lists to provide “boundaries” to promote your values.



y One thing I value in life is taking time out once in a while to be goofy, laugh and have fun. Having fun is one way to nurture the spirit dimension of our health.

y The findings of researchers in the field of psychology seem logical: Cultivating happiness in our lives has myriad benefits emotionally, socially and physically. We relate to others better, we treat ourselves well and we are more likely to adopt healthy habits and avoid destructive behaviors when we’re happy.

y Remember, the spirit dimension has a powerful effect on the other dimensions, but it is often the one most neglected because we are not clear about ways to work on this dimension. We are now going to take a few minutes to nurture our spirits by having fun.

5. Activity: Learning to play again

Referring to the “Learning to Play Again” PowerPoint slide, tell participants:

y When we think of “playing” we may think it is something only children do. As we get older, we play less and may stop playing altogether.

y We don’t stop playing because we grow old, but rather, we grow old because we stop playing. We lead busy, demanding lives and we worry we will appear lazy.

y But it’s been proven that as leisure time increases, so does life satisfaction. We forget that life should include time to just have fun.

y Discuss: What does it mean to “play”? What are some ways that adults can play? Some examples include dancing to music, being silly with friends, playing with a pet or child, knitting, working with clay, painting or participating in a sport? Play is anything you do that makes you feel happy or content, and brings you into the moment

y Do you notice that when children play, they are in their own world—often talking to imaginary people and things? They are fully in the moment and are not thinking about the past or future. Self-observation goes away, and we become free.

y Laughter can benefit you by increasing your pain threshold, decreasing blood glucose and increasing blood flow.



Activity: Let’s try some laughter yoga! It may feel ridiculous, but let’s give it a try anyway. Say what I say…

y Now that we have taken some time to have a little fun, we are going to try out another activity that can help you take care of yourself, nurture your spirit and bring peace into your life. In Stephen Covey’s “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” self-renewal was one habit required to execute the other six habits. Playing is about the experience, not the outcome.

y Turn on chosen song for this activity. Use an upbeat song such as “Shout,” by The Isley Brothers, “Celebrate,” by Kool and the Gang, or “YMCA,” by The Village People.

y Give props to the participants, like Frisbees, foam balls, scarves or balloons. Take part and encourage the participants to play and have fun for three to five minutes.

Debrief by asking: How did it feel to play for a few minutes?

6. One-minute breathing

Referring to the “Just Breathe” PowerPoint slide, lead breathing technique:

y Throughout this program, you will notice that we keep coming back to the breath as a way to calm us, bring us peace and help bring us back into the moment. The breath is one of the best ways to bring us back to the present because the body may move about and the mind may wander, but your breathing is always right where you are.

y For the next minute, I’m going to ask you to bring your full attention to your breathing. Think of this next minute as an opportunity to take a break from your thoughts about the past, the future or even thinking about anything. Consider it a break from doing and thinking. In a way, it is a break from being “you.”

y Do not think of this as “focusing on your breathing.” Instead think of it as letting your mind settle into your breathing (or this could be said as “resting your mind in your breathing” or “immersing yourself in your breathing.”) When your mind wanders (and it will), gently bring it back to your breathing.



y I will time you for one minute, and I want you to count your breaths for this minute. In your chairs, uncross your legs, sit up and place your hands in a comfortable position. Gently close your eyes. I will tell you when the minute is up. Now go ahead and allow your mind to settle into your breathing.

º Allow one minute to pass (be precise in timing).

y Gently open your eyes when you are ready. Remember the number of breaths you took in this minute.

y Briefly discuss: Do you feel any different now? Was it difficult for you to keep your mind from wandering to other things?

y If you struggled with keeping your mind from wandering, don’t be frustrated. Some of you might have had a few breaths where you felt a sense of peace, and were able to escape constant thoughts. Others might have felt you were resisting other thoughts from flowing into your mind the entire time, and that is OK. It takes a lot of practice.

y This technique doesn’t take much time, and is something you can do just about anywhere. It can help calm you down when you feel stressed, angry, frustrated or anxious. It also is a good bedtime technique to calm yourself and get your mind off those things that are bothering you.

y Throughout this next week, try doing this one-minute breathing break throughout the day. Instead of timing yourself, use the same number of breaths you took today. All you need is a minute to refocus.

We are now going to do another activity that I think you will enjoy. It introduces a strategy you can use to bring more happiness into your life



7. Joy list

Referring to “Joy List Activity” PowerPoint slide, tell participants:

y Remembering a happy memory releases in our brain the same “feel-good” chemicals that flooded it at the time of the actual experience. We can practice mindfully recalling favorite memories as a strategy to achieve a variety of goals, including:

º Cultivating optimism

º Alleviating negativity (e.g., boredom, sadness, worry)

º Priming our brain for:

• Learning new material

• Generating ideas from past experiences

º Boosting our physical health

Give “My Joy List” handout to participants, and tell them:

y The purpose of this activity is to help you identify things that make you happy, that you are passionate about, that bring you joy, that give you energy and that inspire you and elevate your mood.

y We call this a “joy list,” or a summary of our love-to-dos rather than have-to-dos. Some of what you write may be similar to what you listed for the things you value in life. However, this list is different in that it should be actual behaviors, or those things you could see yourself doing.Before we start, take a slow, deep breath and clear your mind.

y When I say “Begin,” we are going to write for two minutes. List those things you love to do. Include everything—for example, things that have brought you joy both in the past and the present, and things you want to do in the future that will bring you happiness. Include big things, like a yearlong vacation, and small things, like your favorite foods. Ask yourself what you would do if you had no obligations today.



Start your watch for two minutes, and tell participants to begin. Ask them to stop after two minutes

y Discuss: How do you feel after doing this? Why? (Expect participants to respond that they feel good, happy or in a better mood after doing this activity, because they are imagining themselves doing the things that bring them joy.)

y This may have been difficult for some of you, and that is OK. If you struggled with this, you may just need more time to reflect. Take time later to add to this list.

y The point of this activity is that taking time to list what brings you joy can make you feel happier, because you are visualizing yourself doing those activities. When you are feeling stressed, anxious or sad, take a look at this list. If you can’t do anything on this list at that moment, visualizing or picturing yourself doing the things you love can make you feel better.

y As you savored your memory, how did your brain feel? How did your body feel?

y What do you think was happening in your brain and body during the memory? How is that similar to or different from the play activities we did?

y This experience of being flooded by warm emotions from a memory proves that you can affect your own thoughts and feelings, even if you can’t always control what happens around you.

8. Activity: Bringing more joy to your life

Take a look at your joy list

y Circle one to three things on your list that you are confident you can do in the next week.

º Allow a minute or two for participants to do this.

Now pair up with someone new, and refer to the “Living Your Joy List” PowerPoint slide

y Share with your partner what you plan to do during the next week that will bring a little happiness to your life.



y Also tell your partner how you are going to fit this into your schedule—specifically when and where you’ll make time for your activity.

Break

Optional: Have music playing as participants return, such as “Beautiful Day,” by U2 or “What a Wonderful World,” by Louis Armstrong

Tell participants the second half of this session is about learning to live in the moment, and how this can reduce how much we internalize stress

9. Introduce mindfulness

To be present in the moment, we have to learn how to stop the “monkey mind”—our thoughts jumping from one thing to the next. Has anyone ever felt this happen, where your mind seems to have a life of its own? Often most noticeable when we are trying to fall asleep and can’t stop our thoughts

Referring to the “Monkey Mind” PowerPoint slide, tell participants:

y When we are stressed or overwhelmed, our minds look like this bottle. (Shake a bottle filled with water, sand and glitter to show a stressed “monkey mind.”) When we are calm, our minds settle down just like the ingredients in this bottle. (Set the bottle down and let the contents settle.)10. Refer to the “Your Brain” PowerPoint slide:

Refer to the “Your Brain” PowerPoint slide:

y Three important parts of your brain help you think and react to everything that happens around you: the prefrontal cortex, the amygdala and the hippocampus. The prefrontal cortex uses important information to focus, decide, compute, analyze and reason. Here’s the catch: The prefrontal cortex gets information only when the amygdala is calm. Then it passes on to the hippocampus any information worth remembering.

y Feeling frightened? Upset? Your amygdala is on alert! It regulates and blocks information from going to your prefrontal cortex, so you can react in a flash. When you feel safe and happy, the amygdala will pass information on to the prefrontal cortex so you can think.



y The hippocampus creates, stores and processes all important facts and memories the prefrontal cortex passes on to it, such as birthdays, your friend’s email address and the brisk, salty smell of the ocean.

y Referring to the “You Always Have Your Breath” PowerPoint slide and link, tell participants:

º Anytime you’re stressed out, breathing can come to the rescue. Deep, full breathing calms your amygdala and helps you think and remember clearly.

Referring to “Mindlessness” PowerPoint slide, tell participants:

y Mindlessness is like being on automatic pilot. It can be a sense of living mechanically, living in the past or the future—or living in the present, but struggling with what is here—a separation from self or a sense of sleepwalking through life.

º Share Leonardo da Vinci’s quote from PowerPoint slide.

y We are going to learn a bit about how to stop this “monkey mind,” start living more in the now and get the most out of life by being more mindful.

10. Defining mindfulness

Referring to “Mindfulness” PowerPoint slide, tell participants:

y Mindfulness means paying attention to, or being aware of, the present moment, in a purposeful, nonjudgmental way.

y Mindfulness takes awareness to the next level; it is being aware purposefully, without judging yourself or the situation. In other words, mindfulness is intentionally being fully present in the moment without criticizing what is going on in that moment. Unawareness keeps us from noticing body signals, which leads to physical and mental challenges.

y When we are only partially conscious of our thoughts, they are likely to wander about from one thing to the next, often with no particular direction. We refer to this “monkey mind.”



y Take eating for example. When we eat, how often do we actually think about the taste, texture and aroma of the food? Maybe we do this for the first few bites and the last bite, if at all?

y Unless we are doing a challenging task, we spend a lot of our time only partially focused on one particular thing, allowing our thoughts to have a “mind of their own.” Our minds wander, thinking about the past or planning for the future. When we are stressed, these thoughts are often negative, which make us feel even worse.

y Mindfulness helps us take some control of our thoughts. It purposefully directs our awareness toward something in particular. In doing this we escape the “monkey mind,” or what seems like uncontrollable thoughts. It brings more calmness and peace to the mind.

y Mindfulness helps us learn to practice “being,” rather than practice “doing.” Its helps us to build muscles of concentration, observation and relaxation.

y Referring to the “Mindfulness” waterfall PowerPoint slide, tell participants: Mindfulness is about being aware of our thoughts, emotions and sensations, and accepting them as they are without criticizing or judging them. Our thoughts are like a waterfall and we are standing on the outside of the waterfall, just looking. We are aware of our thoughts, but they do not define who we are.

y By not judging or trying to change our thoughts, emotions or sensations, we are able to fully face and examine them. We can view them more as an outsider. For example, we can accept our fear of something without criticizing it in order to face and overcome it.



y Take pain, for example. Those of us who have a condition that causes chronic pain know how much it can ruin your mood, bring you down and depress you. Mindfulness is the practice of noticing the sensation of pain but not attaching negative thoughts and emotions to it. Notice the sensation as a sensation and nothing more. It is taking the “I,” “me” and “my” out of it. Don’t allow your mind to jump to such thoughts as, “My pain is so horrible, I don’t know if I can keep going like this. My life will never be the same!” Instead, direct your thoughts to the sensation itself. Do not attach negative thoughts and emotions to it because this will likely make your pain seem worse. You may be amazed by how this can help lessen the intensity and duration of pain. The same can be done with emotions and thoughts.

y It takes a lot of practice to fully understand what mindfulness is, and to be able to embrace it.

11. Why we need mindfulness

Referring to the “Why Practice Mindfulness” PowerPoint slide, tell participants:

y Mindfulness can help us get out of automatic pilot mode

º In other words, it can help us respond to stress with choice, instead of reacting with our usual habits. When we live in the past or future, it robs us of the now and it robs us of choice.

º It is these automatic reactions to stress that often lead to unhealthier lifestyle choices. For example, we may react without thinking to stress by grabbing junk food or comfort food after a hard day, skipping a workout, smoking or drinking more than usual, zoning out in front of the TV or computer, going on a shopping spree, not sleeping well or losing our tempers. We tend to react in a negative way, searching for instant gratification to “feel better.” Mindfulness gives us an opportunity to make healthier choices.

Referring to the “Triangle of Awareness PowerPoint Slide,” give participants the “Responding Versus Reacting” handout and refer to its left side



Discuss how stress can be caused by things happening externally or internally

y External stress is caused by things outside of ourselves, such as things that happen to us due to others, the environment or life situations. For example, someone accusing you of something, a fire in your house, too much work and too little time, a sick loved one or losing your job would be external stressors.

y Internal stress is caused by our own thoughts and emotions, caused by our reactions to external stressors. For example, worrying, feeling jealous of someone, feeling anxious, blaming yourself and making yourself feel guilty or creating unrealistic expectations for yourself would be external stressors.

It is how we internalize or react to an external stressor that makes a stressor stressful

y We often react to both internal and external stressors automatically with a fight, flight or freeze reaction.

y A brief fight, flight or freeze reaction is a normal physiological response to stress. However, internalizing stress, or carrying the stress with you and letting it fester, causes short-term and long-term health problems.

y This is what happens when we are experiencing fight, flight or freeze reactions: Cortisol increases, which limits access to the part of our brain that allows us to think rationally. Our blood flow is diverted to the muscles, heart and brain from other organs, and gives us energy to run or fight.

y It’s our reactions to internalizing stress that’s hard on us, not the stressor itself. Stress reactions happen anytime, even if the stressor isn’t real—for example, even if the stressor is a scary movie.

Referring to “Reacting to Stress” section of “Responding Versus Reacting” handout, discuss:

y What are the physical health problems caused by internalizing stress? Refer to examples listed on the handout. Referring to the “Negative Ways of Coping” section of the handout, say:



y When we’re stressed or when things are not going right, we often feel that we deserve a treat or indulge in something we enjoy.

y Discuss: What unhealthy behaviors do we use to cope with stress?

º Refer to examples listed on the handout.

y Are they helping you deal with the stress or are they covering it up?

y These coping strategies may provide immediate gratification, but in the long run may worsen stress by making us feel guilty, causing the problem to grow by avoiding it, making us sick or so tired we can’t do what we need to do or causing us to miss out on things in life that could bring us happiness. Many times they become habits we ultimately will want to change.

y Discuss: What outcomes can these reactions to stress and unhealthy ways of coping cause in the long run?

Referring to the “Breakdown” section of the handout, say:

y Over time, these reactions and unhealthy ways of coping can lead to a breakdown of our bodies.

º Refer to examples listed on the handout.

º These challenges become internal stressors and make our worries worse.

Referring to the “With Awareness Comes Choice” PowerPoint slide, tell participants:

y Learning to deal with stress in ways that will help you in the long run and not cause additional stress starts with knowing how you currently react to stress.

y Mindfulness, or being aware, allows you to respond to stress consciously and without judgment. This can help you think more clearly and make a deliberate decision about how you deal with the stress.

y You might say, “With awareness comes choice.”



y Having control = power. Really being aware is difficult. Old behavior patterns come to mind immediately.

Referring to right side of the “Responding Versus Reacting” handout, remind participants:

y Remember that it is our reactions and how we internalize stress that is hard on our bodies, NOT just the stressor itself.

º We will always have some type of stress, but being aware may reduce its effect on us.

y Without awareness, we prevent ourselves from seeing the problem clearly, solving the problem, communicating effectively or expressing our emotions in a way that can help us. Ultimately, these reactions prevent us from getting over stress and achieving peace of mind.

Responding—rather than reacting—to stress involves:

y Being aware of stress and how it makes us react: our body sensations, thoughts and emotions. This awareness allows us to respond to a situation with choice.

y Although your body will still have some type of reaction, you can use awareness to calm down.

º Tactics for calming down include taking a deep breath, closing your eyes for a moment or stepping away from the situation briefly to see more clearly what you are doing or what is happening.

º This allows you to make a conscious response, instead of reacting without thought.

y Awareness allows us to make a conscious choice about the extent to which we internalize the stressor and how to cope with or deal with the stress.

Discuss: What are some positive, healthy ways of coping with stress? Refer to examples on handout

Referring to the “Improved Health and Well-Being” section of the handout, tell participants:

y If we use a positive means of coping, we are more likely to recover quickly from the stressor.



y This leads to feeling happier again sooner, and we are less likely to have illness or health problems caused by stress.

12. Living in the moment

Give participants the “Living in the Moment” handout, and tell them:

y These are things you can do daily that take little to no time at all.

Review strategies provided on this handout

y You can bring awareness to any task in your daily life—doing the dishes, brushing your teeth, working out or taking a shower. Don’t think about the past or the future, just be present.

y By being in the moment, you are temporarily freeing yourself from the baggage in your life. It allows you to stop the monkey mind and focus on the task at hand. This can be very powerful in getting more enjoyment out of any activity.

y Try this the next time you shower: Take in all of the sensations of the warmth of the water on your skin, the warm moist air going into your lungs, the smell of soap, etc. See how this makes you feel. Even something as simple as a shower gives you the opportunity to live in the moment.

y It takes a conscious effort to do nothing else but the activity at hand, because our mind naturally wants to jump around and think about other things. In reality, there is nothing you can do about these other things, because you are in the shower! Notice how easy or difficult it is for you to keep your mind focused on taking a shower.

y Learning to absorb yourself in the moment with full awareness takes practice, but the more you do it, the easier it gets.

13. Mindful eating:

Referring to the “Mindful Eating” PowerPoint slide, tell participants: When life gets tough or we get really stressed, it often shows in our eating and other habits—for example, we indulge in alcohol or smoking, skip workouts or change our sleep patterns



y Such reactions to stress can make the stress worse or lead to other unhealthy behaviors. For example, not sleeping can lead us to crave sweets, feel too tired to work out or feel we deserve a drink or a cigarette. Eating junk food can make us feel guilty, which can lead to overeating, which can lead to not working out and wind up affecting our mood and sleep.

y We rarely take the time to be present and enjoy the food we eat, because we are thinking about other things. That’s especially true when we are stressed. Eating is one thing we do regularly that can be very enjoyable if we are fully aware of the taste, aroma, texture, satisfaction and enjoyment food can bring us.

y Eating without awareness can lead to overeating, cravings and overindulging in our comfort foods.

y Discuss: How many times do we eat without paying attention to the fact that we are eating? For example, we pass by a candy bowl, grab and eat a piece, and before we even realize it the food is gone from our mouth; or we pay no attention to what we eat while working, reading or watching TV.

y Multitasking while eating makes it impossible to get full enjoyment and satisfaction from the food we eat.

y Often we are disconnected while eating: One moment our plate is full, and the next moment it is empty. Tuning in to the tastes of food can help us feel more satisfied.

y We can turn off this mechanical way of eating by being more mindful while we are eating. Bringing your full attention to the tastes, textures and aromas of food brings an awareness of the food choices we make and how food satisfies us in both body and mind.

y Mindful eating is eating while paying full attention to the food and the experience of eating it. Mindful eating is another strategy for bringing us into the moment. It helps create more awareness of the food we eat and the satisfaction we derive from our food.

y Taking the time to stop doing other things and sit down to just eat may change what you choose to eat, how you eat and how much you eat. Eating is something we do three times or more a day, so this gives us several opportunities to be present and enjoy our food.



Activity: Practicing mindful eating

y Tell participants you are providing two foods. Passing around napkins and the food, ask participants to take one or both of the foods but to not eat any of it yet.

º Tell them to take as little or as much as they would like.

y Decide with which food you will have the group start. Have everyone eat the same food first, unless they are allergic to it or don’t like it.

y Tell participants: Let’s start with the (specific food). Pick it up, look at it, smell it and observe it as if you have never seen this food before. Does it look and smell like something you would like to eat?

y Tell participants: Take a bite of the food and hold it in your mouth.

º Notice how the food feels in your mouth.

º Notice the initial taste and aroma of the food.

º Start to chew the food and notice the texture or any taste changes as you chew (salty, bitter, sweet, sour).

º Notice the flavors and how your smell affects the taste.

º Swallow the food and notice any residual tastes, aromas or sensations.

y Discuss: Participant thoughts or realizations from this experience.

º There are no right or wrong answers, just personal interpretations.

y Tell participants: Take another bite of food and eat it at a normal pace, but eat it mindfully. Notice all the flavors, textures and aromas.

y Tell participants: This is a way to both appreciate the different flavors of foods we know we like, and to experience new and different foods. Eating mindfully may help you feel more satisfied from the food you eat.

y Repeat Steps 1-4 for the other food you provided.



y Sometimes we eat foods that taste good but to which our bodies don’t react well. For example, fried food, dairy food or spicy food may taste good, but may make our body feel bad (low energy, stomachache, gas, etc.). Sometimes we ignore the messages our bodies send us about certain foods.

y Eating mindfully involves noticing the food’s smell, taste and texture as well as how it affects your body—your stomach, digestive system, energy levels—and your mood or your health. Being aware of these things can help us choose our foods more mindfully and take care of ourselves.

14. Take-home activity: Learning to live in the moment

Read “I’ll Take Mine Hand Cranked” article. Share how this is an example of living in the moment

During the next week, I encourage you to try some strategies to help you live more in the moment. You can come up with your own strategies, choose some from the “Living in the Moment” handout or eat at least one meal per day more mindfully

Ask participants to: Think about what you would like to focus on during the next week. To what situations in your life would you like to bring more awareness? Try to come up with one situation

y There might be a situation that makes you feel stressed or tense in which you can use awareness to calm you. For example, standing in line, being late for something, arguing with someone, dealing with a difficulty at work, with family, etc.

y There also may be a situation that brings you joy to which you want to pay more attention, like watching the sunset or being with a friend.

y It could be something neutral to which you want to bring more awareness, like eating, engaging in physical activity, showering or doing the dishes.

Ask participants to pair up with someone new and discuss the following: Tell this person what situation you want to bring more awareness to and what strategy you will use to do so. You’ll report back to your partner next week on how this went for you



References:

Boroson, M. 2009. One-moment meditation: Stillness for people on the go. Port Jefferson Station, NY: Winter Road Publishing.

Foster, R., G. Hicks, with J. Seda. 2008. Happiness & health: 9 choices to unlock the powering connection between the two things we want most. New York: Penguin Group.

The Hawn Foundation. 2011. The MindUP curriculum: Grades 6-8, Scholastic Inc.



Lyubomirsky, S. 2007. The how of happiness: A scientific approach to getting the life you want. New York: Penguin Group Inc.

Segal, Z. V., M. G. Williams, and J.D. Teasdale. 2002. Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy for depression: A new approach to preventing relapse. New York: Guilford Press.


Session 3: Freeing Yourself From the Constraints of Time and Dealing with Life Changes



University of Missouri Extension





� Music player


� Tennis ball for dropping in

� “Happiness & Health” (formerly “Choosing Brilliant Health”) book, by Rick Foster and Greg Hicks with Jen Seda


y “Take-Home Assignment Discussion Questions”

y “Sarah’s Story”

y “Freeing Yourself From Time Stress”

y “Freeing Yourself From Time Stress: Live More in the Present Moment”

y “Freeing Yourself From Time Stress: Take Time Each Day to Just Be”

Session 3: Freeing Yourself From the Constraints of Time and Dealing With Life Changes

y “Refocus”

y “Freeing Yourself From Time Stress: Simplify Your Life”

y “Physical Activity”

y “From the Heart”


y “Three-Cycle Breathing”

y “Recasting”

y “Finding Meaning”

y “Recasting a Story”

y “Forgiveness”

y “Take-Home Activity”

� Handouts:


y Ways to Simplify Your Life”


y “Dealing With Life’s Challenges”


Taking Care of You: Body, Mind, SpiritSession 3: Freeing Yourself From the Constraints of Time and Dealing with Life Changes

Overview:1. Review take-home assignment from

previous week: Living in the moment

2. Introduction

3. Freeing yourself from time stress

4. Choosing physical activity that meets your needs

5. Introduction

6. Story from “Happiness & Health” (formerly “Choosing Brilliant Health”) book, by Rick Foster and Greg Hicks with Jen Seda: “From the Heart: Impressions of a Transplant Nurse”

7. Experiential activity: Three-cycle breathing

8. Recasting

9. Forgiveness

10. Take-home activity: Dealing with stressful situations

Key session concepts:1. Increasing awareness and mindfulness

2. Identifying life priorities

3. Connection between stress and physical health

4. Self-care

5. Recasting—cognitive restructuring



Kabat-Zinn

a. Chapter 26

b. Chapter 7

c. Chapter 3

d. Chapter 20

2. Optional: “Wellness Workbook,” by John Travis and Regina Sara Ryan

a. Chapter 5: Sections 5.1, 5.7 and 5.8

b. Chapter 11: Introduction and Section 11.3

3. Optional: “One-Moment Meditation,” by Martin Boroson

a. Perception of Time (Pages 58-63)

4. “Happiness & Health,” by Rick Foster and Greg Hicks with Jen Seda

a. Chapter 5


a. Chapter 6

6. “The MindUP Curriculum: Grades 6-8,” Hawn Foundation

a. “Recasting,” (Pages 103 and 28)




Session content


Optional: Have music playing as participants enter the room. Play a song such as “Turn, Turn, Turn,” by The Byrds; “Under Pressure,” by David Bowie; “Days Go By,” by Keith Urban; or “Upside Down,” by Jack Johnson

Remind participants to turn off their cell phones and sit in a seat different than previous week

1. Review take-home assignment from previous week: Living in the moment

Referring to “Take-Home Assignment Discussion Questions” PowerPoint slide, have participants pair up with last week’s partner to discuss their living-in-the-moment homework assignment

Ask participants to discuss the following:

y Were you able to bring more awareness to the situation you specified last week?

y Did you use the strategy you circled on your “Living in the Moment” handout?

y What did you notice about yourself after doing this? Any changes?

2. Introduction


y Today we are going to discuss many concepts, including time, physical activity, recasting and forgiveness. Let’s begin with time, because time is one of our biggest stressors.

y Just thinking about not having enough time to do something increases our stress level.

y Today we will discuss strategies for how to free ourselves from our obsession with time. This will help decrease our stress level and enable us to spend more time engaged in the things that are important to us.




3. Freeing yourself from time stress

Referring to “Sarah’s Story” PowerPoint slide, read Sarah’s story (attached at the end of Session 3)

y You know we often get so caught up in all the things we think we have to do that we ignore the messages our body, thoughts and emotions are trying to send us. Even when we notice them, we push them away and tell ourselves that everything is fine and we’ll get a break from this all “someday.” Or maybe we feel stuck in the situation we are in, and are afraid to make a major life change—such as changing jobs or getting a divorce—for fear of what might happen.

Discuss: What could Sarah (from the story) have done differently at any point in time to prevent her stroke?

y Example answers include:

º Set boundaries between work and home by not bringing work home with her.

º Taken time for herself to do things she likes to do.

º Taken a midday break for a short walk.

º Listened to her body when she felt stress or tension and taken a minute to focus on her breathing to relax.

º Done a body scan or a one-minute breathing break, or journaled before going to bed to help her fall asleep.

º Made time to go in for yearly medical exams.

º Done active things with her family on weekends.

º Listened to what her thoughts and emotions were telling her, and talked to her husband about them.

º Noticed thoughts of anger and frustration, and taken a few deep breaths to take note of emotion before responding.

y Referring to the “Freeing Yourself From Time Stress” PowerPoint slide, tell participants:




º As this story exemplifies, time can be a major stressor for us. Do you ever feel like your life revolves around the clock? We get so caught up with what we have to do and when it needs to be done, that time has become one of our biggest stressors.

Discuss: What are some time stressors for you? Examples of time stressors include getting to work on time, meeting work deadlines, picking someone up on time, getting bills paid on time, too much to do, too little time, waiting to find out important news or waiting for a significant life event

Ask: Is stressing about time worth increasing your blood pressure, causing yourself headaches or sleep problems or increasing your likelihood of getting sick?

Time really is just a product of our thoughts. Minutes and hours were developed to make communication and travel easier, but actually have no absolute meaning. In other words, time is relative to what we are doing. If we are doing something pleasurable, time goes by quickly. But if we are bored with what we are doing, have too little to do, are depressed or are waiting anxiously for something, time seems to last forever

y Time affluence: Feeling we have sufficient time to pursue activities that are personally meaningful.

y Time poverty: Feeling constantly stressed, rushed, overworked and behind.

y Material affluence: Isn’t a consistent indicator of well-being—in contrast to time affluence, which is a consistent indicator of well-being.

It is how we view time and what we do with it that determines whether we think we have too much or too little of it

Referring to “Freeing Yourself From Time Stress: Live More in the Present Moment” PowerPoint slide, tell participants:

y For those of us who feel we don’t have enough time, perhaps we do not really want more time but crave to be free of time. We want to experience life outside of time, stop noticing time or live life without time limits.




y The same goes for those of us who are bored with our lives or jobs and wish time would move more quickly. We may not really want time to move quickly, but actually wish we could free ourselves from thinking about time.

y In either case, we may try to temporarily satisfy the craving to be free of time constraints through vacations we take once or twice per year. But we may still feel we need more “time off” or “time away” from our regular lives. How can we have more time off without taking time to get away on a vacation?

y One way to free ourselves at least temporarily of time constraints is to learn how to absorb ourselves in the moment, to be present and fully engaged in the now.

y We can waste a lot of time worrying about the future, rehashing the past, stressing about whether we are getting enough done with what time we have or thinking about how slowly time is moving (constantly checking the clock).

y These thoughts prevent us from being in the moment; they prevent us from truly being present, or engaged, in the now. Trying to multitask also prevents us from being fully in the moment. In essence, we are wasting moments by not being in the moment.

y We often think we do not have enough time to practice living in the moment because we are in a hurry to get something done.

y However, it doesn’t take extra time to be aware of what you are doing while you are doing it—eating, showering, driving, walking, working, etc.

y Even if you are in a hurry, you can still be in the moment and not think about time. Pay attention to your breathing and movement; when you get to where you are going, relax. When you feel strung out, stop, and, with awareness, ask yourself if it is really worth it.

y You temporarily free yourself from time stress when you are in the moment, because you are thinking about nothing other than what you are doing in that moment. Also, you will get more enjoyment out of what you’re doing if you are fully engaged in it.




y If you want to reminisce about the past or plan for the future, do it consciously and without regret. Tune into your emotions without judgment or criticism.

y Let’s review the strategies from the “Living in the Moment” handout. Will any of these strategies help you with living in the moment more often?

Referring to “Freeing Yourself From Time Stress: Take Time Each Day to Just Be” PowerPoint slide, discuss taking some time each day to just be

y One of the best ways to learn how to live more in the moment is to take a little time each day away from “doing” to just “be.” Taking time to just “be” is another strategy for freeing ourselves from time stress.

y It is common in our culture to hold the belief that being busy is a sign of success. We value being busy, or having something to do all the time. Some of us even feel guilty when we are not busy, so we find something to do to feel better about ourselves.

y We have become human “doings” instead of human “beings.”

y The bottom line is: We need to be more aware of what we are trying to accomplish with our time and if it is worth it. Ask yourself:

º Do these things I think I need to do really need to be done now (for example, cleaning the house, buying certain things or doing an aspect of your job)?

º Can I still feel good about myself when I am not busy?

y If you struggle to stop “doing,” think of taking time out for yourself to just “be” as a way of doing something to take care of yourself.

Referring to “Refocus” PowerPoint slide, discuss:

y How do you refocus?

º Use your breath º Meditate º Listen to music º Trace or color º Go for a walk




y There are a variety of ways to refocus and take the time to “just be.”

º What ideas do you have?

º Record ideas

Discuss concept of “dropping a tennis ball” at this moment

y Let’s take this opportunity to just “be” by dropping into our breathing for a few moments. Using our breath as an anchor to bring us back to the now can free us from our thoughts about what is going on in our lives. It provides a brief break from life. So far, we have used one-minute breathing by counting our breaths. We are now going to take this a step further, and have you fully absorb yourself in the moment by counting your breaths down from 10 to zero.

y Find a comfortable position in your chair and gently close your eyes. Slowly inhale and exhale with full awareness of your breath, counting down from 10 to zero with every inhale and exhale counted as one.

º Allow time for participants to do this.

y While that was brief, it can make a big difference if you do it regularly throughout the day. I encourage you to do the 10-breath cycle during the day when you feel stressed, frustrated, angry or when you just want to take a break from your thoughts or emotions. Try to find time to do this 10-breath cycle at least once a day during the next week.

It may seem counterproductive to spend time not doing or thinking about anything. However, this non-doing helps us step out of the flow of time and relax

y Importantly, a small amount of time spent non-doing allows us to be in the moment when we return to doing again.

y Consider taking time to incorporate some non-doing into your life. It can be as simple as paying attention to your breath when you wake up for one minute, doing a five-minute body scan, doing a 10-breath cycle during the day, watching the sun set or rise, fishing, taking a bath or bird watching.




y It may seem contradictory to include activities where you are actually “doing” something. But these activities can provide “quiet time” and a way for you to refocus. Never forget you can always take a breath!

y I think you will be surprised at how a little non-doing can go a long way in bringing you more awareness and peace throughout the day.

Referring to the “Freeing Yourself From Time Stress: Simplify Your Life” PowerPoint slide, discuss:

y We often feel that there is not enough time to do what we need to do because we are trying to do too much. It might be time to take an honest look at our lives and assess what we really don’t need to spend our time doing. Take a moment to assess your life and how you live it.

y Distribute handout “Ways to Simplify Your Life” and discuss: What could you do to simplify your life?

º Ask participants to share ideas of how they would simplify their lives at their table.

º Have someone record the ideas and share back with the larger group as time allows. Participants can take the handout home and make their own lists of ways to simplify.

4. Choosing physical activity that fits your needs

Referring to “Physical Activity” PowerPoint slide, tell participants: Physical activity can help you live in the moment

y Most of us are aware of the many benefits of physical activity, such as its role in helping you be more alert and improving your mood, health and quality of sleep. You may not realize that it also provides an opportunity to bring you into the moment by paying attention to your breathing, your heart rate, feeling your muscles, the warmth of the sun and the smell of fresh air.

y Unfortunately, physical activity is one of the first things to go when we get stressed. We feel we don’t have the time, are too tired, or we view it as “another thing we should do” and don’t feel like doing it because we don’t find it enjoyable.




y If any of these are barriers to you, one way to approach the idea of being active is to try to change the rules you may have about physical activity.

º For example, try to let go of your rules about how long you need to be physically active for it to “count.” Any amount of activity is better than none, even if it is just for a few minutes. Also, let go of your rules regarding what physical activity is. Any type of movement can count as activity and is beneficial.

º Physical activity does not have to be intense. A little vigorous physical activity can go a long way. Less-intense activity, such as stretching or walking, is also beneficial. Other things like swimming, jogging, cycling, playing Frisbee, gardening, playing with a pet, doing housework or lawn work are beneficial.

º Losing these rules may help you make small changes towards fitting some activity into your life. Do simple things that fit your lifestyle, your mood and energy level that day. Also choose an activity that fits other needs of yours in addition to movement.

Choosing a type of physical activity that fits your needs is important

y Ask yourself whether you prefer being physically active alone or with a partner. Do you prefer something more intense or relaxed? It may differ depending on your mood.

y Look back at exercise plans that have not worked for you. What were you trying to do?

y Did the type of exercise and the environment fit your physical, social and spiritual needs? For example, I need my time outside because I’m inside working all day. I crave fresh air and sunshine, so joining a gym doesn’t fit my needs. So when I’ve tried going to the gym for exercise, I don’t look forward to it and I make excuses about why I can’t go. But I look forward to activities outside, because it fulfills my need to be connected to nature, breathe fresh air and see natural sunlight. In other words, it helps me nurture my spirit as well as take care of my body. What examples do you have?

y Choose a type of physical activity that fits all of your needs, considering where you do it, who you do it with and its intensity. This may change day-to-day based on your mood and energy level.




y Ask yourself what you need—to be outside in nature, to spend time with someone else, to spend some time alone or something else. Again, this requires you to tune in to yourself and be aware of the needs of your body, mind and spirit.

y Whatever you choose, try to do it with full presence and awareness.

y Briefly discuss: What type of physical activity do you most enjoy? What type of environment fits your needs? Do you need to engage in physical activity with other people, or do you need alone time? Do you need music or nature?

y Remember that small amounts of activity over time can make a big difference. These activities could be as simple as taking a short walk during the day, playing actively with your kids or pet, cleaning, pulling weeds, taking the stairs, parking farther away, getting up during commercials and doing something—even if it is marching in place—or taking your bike or walking somewhere instead of driving.

y Beyond physical activity, start with small changes in other dimensions of wellness: mental, social and spiritual health. For example, you can give someone a hug, take a few deep breaths, call a friend once a week, listen to music, smoke one less cigarette, drink one less drink, eat one more piece of fruit next week, buy a can versus a bottle of soda, go to bed 15 minutes earlier or take a minute a day to appreciate things in your life.

Optional: Recommend the book “One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way,” by Robert Maurer, and tell participants:

y This book suggests how to start making those small changes, and discusses how slowly adding to these small changes over time leads to significant changes in your life.

Break:

Optional: Have music playing as participants return, such as “Let It Be,” by the Beatles; “Express Yourself,” by Charles Wright; “Funny the Way It Is,” by the Dave Matthews Band; or “Life Goes On,” by LeAnn Rimes




5. Introduction

During the rest of our class, we will explore ways to deal with stressful situations over which we have no control

y Those situations may be big or small, including events such as illness, injuries, death in the family, job loss or car breakdowns as well as daily hassles like running late, providing care for someone else, traffic, lacking money until payday or having a boring or demanding job.

y We will provide a couple of strategies to help you work through those types of situations, and find ways to use the tough situation to your advantage.

6. Referring to “From the Heart” PowerPoint slide, discuss the “From the Heart: Impressions of a Transplant Nurse” story

I am going to read a short story from the book “Happiness & Health,” by Rick Foster and Greg Hicks, with Jen Seda. Some of the activities we do in the program are from this book. This book is about how our attitudes, happiness and emotions affect our body’s physical health. I highly recommend this book as a resource

Read story from “Happiness & Health” titled “From the Heart: Impressions of a Transplant Nurse,” (Pages 56-58) and discuss:

y This story shows that you can choose to not be a victim. You have a choice as to how you respond to something in life over which you have no control. And your response—or attitude toward the situation—can affect your physical and emotional health.

y What about this story made an impression on you?

y It is our reactions and how we internalize stress that is hard on our bodies, NOT the stressor itself.

Refer to the “Triangle of Awareness” PowerPoint slide and the “Responding Versus Reacting” handout y Remember our earlier discussion about responding rather than reacting to stress? This story is an example of how outcomes can differ, depending on whether we react to a stressor without thought or respond to a stressor with awareness.




y Responding instead of reacting is not easy to do. It takes practice, and is something of which you always have to be conscious. Taking care of yourself—in all your dimensions—makes it easier for you to respond rather than react. Let’s revisit our breathing as a way to bring us more awareness.

7. Experiential activity: Three-cycle breathing, referring to the “Three- Cycle Breathing” PowerPoint slide

Introduction: Have you ever noticed how your breath changes with your emotions? If you are tense, afraid or angry, you breathe faster. If you are content and calm, your breathing slows down. As we discussed earlier, because your breath is with you all the time, it can be used as an anchor to help ground you and bring awareness to what is going on in your body and mind.

y Focusing on your breathing can help you relax your muscles, slow your mind and heart rate and calm your emotions. Earlier we practiced the 10-breath cycle to calm us and bring us into the moment.

y We are going to take this one step further now by reducing it to a three-breath cycle, with every inhale and exhale counting as one. Try to fully absorb yourself into your breathing for this short period of time.

y Find a comfortable position in your chair and gently close your eyes. Slowly inhale and exhale with full awareness for three breaths. OK, go ahead.

º Allow time for participants to try the three-breath cycle.

y A three-breath cycle is even more portable than the minute or 10-breath cycles; it is easier to do without others noticing. Feel free to do this anywhere.

y Start with your eyes open. Then try doing the cycle in other ways besides sitting and lying down; try doing it while standing, walking or doing some other physical activity.

y Use this practice throughout the day as a way to respond to stress or emotions—perhaps to take in a moment you want to remember and appreciate sights, smells or sounds—or just use it for no reason whatsoever but to bring you back into the present.




y Try to do the three-breath cycle at least once a day during the week. But for the greatest benefit, I recommend doing it several times throughout the day.

8. Recasting

The story I read a few minutes ago is an example of how responding to stress with awareness in a positive way can be helpful. That said, it is not necessarily always healthy to try to immediately flip a negative emotion to a positive one—or as the saying goes, make lemonade out of lemons. Other adages expressing that perspective include “Look for the silver lining,” “God only gives you as much as you can handle” and “Everything happens for a reason.” But sometimes life throws things our way that just are “lemons,” and we are forced to work through them. We are going to go through a strategy you can use to deal with life’s most difficult challenges.

y This activity may bring about some emotional discomfort for some of you. Feel free to step out if you need to.

Referring to the “Recasting” PowerPoint slide, explain the “feeling” phase of recasting:

y We cannot, and should not, feel positive all the time. When dealing with a challenging life situation or problem, we often go through different phases. The first one is the feeling phase. This is the time when you embrace your emotions and feel them completely. In our rush to make our pain or problems go away, few of us explore the potential of accepting those thoughts and feelings.

y Try to become aware of how you normally react to strong feelings. Denying, ignoring or numbing strong emotions only makes them fester and grow. We need to feel them to deal with them. When we acknowledge our feelings, it may lead to other emotions such as failure, loss and just being unsettled.

y Do you push strong feelings away, numb them with alcohol, TV, sleeping or just staying busy doing things? Be honest with yourself here!

º Pause for a few seconds.




y Feelings or emotions motivate us to act, and give us feedback on what has happened. Think of strong feelings as emotions that exist to move us to a better place.

y There are four primary emotions: sadness, fear, anger and joy. For example, guilt can be a combination of sadness and fear. All other emotions you feel are secondary or a combination of these primary emotions.

y In this stage, it is important to first give yourself permission to feel whatever emotion you are having—fear, jealousy, anger, etc.—even if your brain is telling you that you should not feel this way. Criticizing or judging your thoughts or emotions will shut down this process. Everyone has defining moments in their lives.

y Next, try to identify and name the feelings you are experiencing. If you do not give yourself permission to fully feel an emotion, you will struggle with identifying it. I recommend journaling or talking to someone you trust to help you identify your feelings, if you are struggling with this.

y Do not underestimate the potentially powerful benefit of talking about the situation with someone you trust—someone who you know will listen and make you feel better. Sharing your situation with a close friend or family member can help you feel as though you are not alone, and may help you see the situation from a new perspective.

y Be careful, as co-ruminating with a friend can actually make you sadder and possibly angrier. This can cause a physical increase in cortisol and stress. Focusing on ruminating or rehashing the situation is mentally distructive. We rarely find answers when we do that, just more pain. This process causes us to recall all sorts of negative events in our life.

y Depending on what the situation is, you may need weeks or months in this stage of sitting with your emotions and fully feeling them. You will probably notice that these feelings change as time goes on. For example, you may find that anger turns into sadness or vice versa.




Referring to the “Finding Meaning” PowerPoint slide, discuss the “finding meaning” phase of recasting:

y Certain situations can leave us thinking, “Why me?” Things happen to us that make us question our assumptions about life—for example, the death of a child, losing a job. Sometimes life just isn’t fair; sometimes bad things happen to good people. To overcome such situations, we have to make sense out the senseless.

y Our toughest life situations can teach us something. It is often during our times of greatest hardship that we learn the most about ourselves. The next step in recasting helps guide us through finding meaning in our life problems.

y Ask yourself these questions:

º What were the causes of the problem? What things were out of my control, and what things were in my control?

º What things could I have done differently?

º What are my feelings or instincts telling me?

º What can I learn from this?

y These are tough questions to ask yourself, but they will help you in moving forward. The answers may change over time, so keep asking yourself as long as you feel troubled. Denying your role in creating a difficult situation (a mistake, for example) takes a lot of personal energy.

y Sometimes when something bad happens, we interpret it as a sign to change our own behavior. For example, having a relative die of a heart attack may prompt us to start taking care of ourselves.

y Searching for meaning in hard times allows us to cope better. It helps us learn from the situation, grow from it and learn more about ourselves. It opens up the opportunity for change.




y Think outside the box. Realize the benefits of having a “beginner’s mind,” seeing things as if for the first time. Among other things, a beginner’s mind allows you to take a larger perspective, to acknowledge that you could be wrong. And when a situation arises that tempts you to become disturbed, remind yourself that there is another way of looking at it.

y Finding meaning in a situation leads to the next phase—recognizing an opportunity that arises as a result of a situation. It gives us an opportunity to grow.

Referring to the “Recasting” PowerPoint slide, discuss the “recognizing opportunity” phase of recasting

y Ask yourself: What opportunities exist for me, based on what I’ve learned from this? Finding new opportunities is what changes our future and helps us grow.

y This phase is about identifying actions you can take, not necessarily to change the situation, but to use the situation to your advantage—to help you in some way.

y For example, such opportunities when you have lost a job may include the possibility of taking the time to get in touch with yourself and find a new career path that better suits you; spending more time with your children; finding a new hobby; or volunteering for a cause that will make you feel good.

y Let’s practice using this strategy. I am going to read another story from the book “Happiness & Health” as an example of how to use this strategy.

º Provide the practice example through the “Send in the Clowns” story (Pages 130-132) from the book “Happiness & Health” (formerly “Choosing Brilliant Health”) by Foster, Hicks and Seda. You also may use one of the optional stories located at the end of this session.




Referring to the “Recasting A Story” PowerPoint slide, read the “Send in the Clowns” story.

y Discuss Phase 1: Put yourself in this situation. Pretend this has just happened or is happening to you. (Pause for five seconds.) What feelings are you having? How are you expressing them? Refer to some of the feelings that the main character in the story had.

y Discuss Phase 2: OK, now find meaning in this situation. Refer to our PowerPoint. Ask yourself:

º What were the causes of the problem? What things were out of my control, and what things were in my control?

º What things could I have done differently?

º What are my feelings or instincts telling me?

º What can I learn from this?

y Discuss Phase 3: What opportunities exist? What actions could you take? Would you have done the same as the character in the story?

9. Forgiveness

Referring to the “Forgiveness” PowerPoint slide, tell participants:

y In order to recast or fully work through a situation, we need to make sure we are not holding a grudge. This means forgiving those on whom you have placed blame for being involved in causing a challenging situation. Sometimes this means forgiving ourselves, which can be tougher than forgiving others. Recasting can help you with forgiveness.

y Forgiveness is tough. However, we expend an immense amount of energy holding a grudge or feeling vengeful toward someone. We are hurting only ourselves by holding a grudge.

y If you hope someone “pays for what they have done” or are purposely avoiding someone or acting as though they don’t exist, you have not forgiven them.




So, how do we forgive?

y First, keep in mind that forgiveness is not something you are doing for the other person, but something you are doing for yourself.

y Think of a time that you forgave someone for something either small or large that they did, such as something your child, sibling, spouse or friend did that upset you. How did you feel after you forgave this person?

y Finally, remember times when someone like your parents or a friend forgave you for something you did. Did they benefit from forgiving you? Did it help your relationship? Did the experience teach you anything?

y Some people find it helpful to imagine a conversation in their minds in which they forgive instead of blame the people who have upset them. If you try that, make sure to note your thoughts, emotions and behavior in detail.

y You may want to write a letter of forgiveness to the person who upset you. Even if you cannot get yourself to send the letter, it is still beneficial to write it. When you are ready, make contact with the person. Give them the letter or talk to them.

y Forgiveness is not easy. It does not mean that you excuse or tolerate the offender’s behavior. Forgiveness is for you; it helps you grow from the situation and move on with your life.

10. Take-home activity: Dealing with stressful situations

Referring to the “Take-Home Activity” PowerPoint slide, give participants the “Dealing With Life’s Challenges” handout and tell them:

y Let’s apply the recasting strategy we’ve been discussing. Try to identify a situation in which you often find yourself and you feel this strategy may be helpful. This could be a daily hassle, or something major going on in your life right now.

y Use this handout to help you do this on your own during the next week. You may need to get help by talking about this with someone you trust. This activity can be a powerful tool to help you stop internalizing stress and start responding with choice.




Try this during the next week with the situation you identified, or other stressful situations that come up

References:

Babauta, L. 2009. The power of less: The fine art of limiting yourself to the essential…in business and in life. New York: Hyperion.

Boroson, M. 2009. One-moment meditation: Stillness for people on the go. Port Jefferson Station, NY: Winter Road Publishing.






Maurer, R. 2004. One small step can change your life: The kaizen way. New York: Workman Publishing Company, Inc.




Sarah’s story

Sarah is married, a mother of three children, ages 4, 6 and 11, and a manager of a small business in her town. She works at least a nine-hour day only to come home to cooking, laundry, cleaning, hurrying the kids to bed and then working some more before going to bed after midnight. She wakes up before dawn to start it all over again. The following describes her life and relationships just before her 40th birthday. She describes in her words….

“I felt like I was on a treadmill that I couldn’t get off. I was drowning in my work. No matter how much I worked I could never get everything done I felt I had to do. My body screamed stop, and my heart yearned for a different way of life. I don’t remember the last time I really laughed, much less smiled without faking it. I hardly ever took the time to really talk to my children. I just bossed them around to do this or that. If I spoke to my husband it was only about what needed to be done around the house or what the kids did or didn’t do. I had no time to relax with my family or friends. I sometimes wondered if I had any friends anymore. I was becoming such a cold person. I knew I couldn’t keep going like this, but I just couldn’t stop. I needed to stay in this job to make enough money for my family.”

Sarah continued on this path of working herself sick, literally. She was always getting a cold and had a headache that never seemed to go away. When she finally did lie down to go to sleep she could not stop her mind from thinking and would lie awake for hours. Sarah continues…

“I was so tired all the time, but knew I couldn’t take a break, so I’d put the tiredness out of mind with the help of coffee and soda. I became dependant on caffeine to get through the day.

My husband bought me a treadmill for my birthday one year because I was complaining about not having enough time to get to the gym and gaining weight. Instead of thanking him for this thoughtful gift, I yelled at him: “When do you think I am going to have a free moment to use this thing?!” Then I blamed him for not doing enough around the house to help me. Looking back at my life over the past decade is a blur. I did not have memories of happy moments…just doing, doing, doing. I was missing out on my kid’s childhoods, and they were missing out on time with me.




I wasn’t worried about my health because I was not that overweight, didn’t smoke, and ate pretty well most of time. I rarely ate fast food. I hadn’t been to the doctor in years because I didn’t have the time, and I hadn’t felt sick enough to go. I didn’t know it then, but my body was slowly breaking down from all of the stress and non-stop doing. My body was giving me signs, but I wasn’t paying attention. Then it hit me just a few weeks after my 40th birthday.”

Sarah suffered a stroke which temporarily affected her ability to swallow and speak, which terrified herself and her family. With the help of months of physical and speech therapy she is almost fully recovered physically from the stroke, but it has changed her life, forever. She realized all of this doing was not worth dying for. Life is much too short. Sarah decided her life had to change. After much thought and after talking to her husband and the owner of her store, she decided to take a different position within the store that would not be so stressful. The pay was slightly less, but with some modifications in her family budget she and her husband decided they could afford it. She promised herself and her family to not bring work home with her, take better care of herself and spend more time relaxing with her family.




Optional story No. 1 for recasting: Divorce

Marie knew in her gut something about her marriage wasn’t right. Over the years, things slowly seemed to head south. It was subtle changes. They seemed to laugh less together, have fewer conversations, spend less time together and seemed be getting on each other’s nerves more often.

Marie tells what happened.

“We were growing apart and deep down in my heart I knew it, but I kept denying it and telling myself I just needed to try harder. For a while I made attempts to revive the marriage by going on weekend trips to spend time together and talking to him about it. Neither of these strategies seemed to help. In fact, I think they made things worse. So, over time I started trying to just cover up my feelings about the marriage by staying busy doing things I was interested in and not spending much time alone with him. We were basically living separate lives. Just two people co-habiting under the same roof.”

Then the time came when she knew it was over.

“I was sick and tired of feeling dead inside, emotionally and sexually. One day I woke up and just knew it was time. It was time to end this stage of my life and start a new one. I wanted out. I wanted to feel joy and I wanted to feel loved, but most importantly, I wanted to feel alive again.”

Marie spoke to her husband that evening about how she felt and that she wanted a divorce. It was after this conversation she was overcome by a flood of emotions.

Feeling phase:

“I felt extremely guilty at first for doing this. I was the one who ended it; I felt like the cop-out; I was the one to give in. I felt like a failure. I knew deep down that I was doing the right thing for me and him, but that didn’t change how horrible I felt. I felt like crawling into a hole and staying there. I did just that. I allowed myself to feel my feelings completely. I cried for days, if not weeks on end. I felt like I was living a bad dream. I’m not sure how long this went on, but it seemed like an eternity.”




Finding meaning in our feelings phase:

“After much time, I finally was able to reflect on the situation. I had a moment of clarity. It was like I was seeing the situation for the first time, but this time from the outside looking in. I realized that perhaps I had something to do with this marriage failing. Maybe I could learn from all of this misery.”

After several weeks, if not months, of thought, Marie figured out that she had actually given up on the marriage a long time ago and that maybe giving up led to some of her behaviors.

“I have always been one to give up early if I felt like something isn’t going the way I want it to. Maybe we could have revived our marriage had I not given up so long ago. I realize now that I started pushing him away a long time ago. This led him to change how he acted towards me and it spiraled downward from there over the years.”

Given some time and reflection, Marie realized that she could learn from all of this. She realized that she gave up on friends for little things as well and held grudges too often. While her marriage was over, she knew this was something she needed to change about herself, for her friendships and future relationships.

Recognizing opportunity phase:

She decided to work on this aspect of herself.

“I decided I needed to let go of some grudges I had been holding a long time.”

She did so by writing a letter to two friends in her life that she had held a grudge against for too long. Just writing the letters made her feel better, but then after sending them, those people contacted her and her friendships were renewed.

“I knew deep down I needed to do the hardest thing of all and that was to forgive my ex-husband for things he had done over the years. I contacted him and we talked. While this didn’t change the fact that our marriage was over, it changed so much for me. I finally stopped ruminating over the things he did over the years. I finally was able to move on. For the first time in years, I felt at peace.”




Optional story No. 2 for recasting: Loss of a job

Life was going pretty well for Robert. He had a sales job and he felt he was making decent money for his level of education. He could not afford everything he wanted, but he had what he needed and a little extra for his family of four. This peace of mind was worth the long hours, stress and the fact he really didn’t feel fulfilled by his work.

Without notice one day his supervisor called him into his office and explained to him that he was being “let go.” It wasn’t anything he had done or not done, but that the company was “cutting back” because of the economy.

Feeling phase:

“At first I was just so stunned I couldn’t think. Then the anger began to flood over me. First, I began to feel extremely mad at the company for doing this to me and my family after being a loyal hard-working employee for over ten years. About an hour later I began to feel terrified of what I was going to tell my wife and kids. They depended on me for my salary. My wife was working part-time and her salary only covered half of the monthly bills.”

Robert went home earlier that day and luckily no one was around the house for a few hours. He used this time to get a hold of himself and prepare how he was going to explain the loss of his job to his wife. When he got home he crumbled. He told her the news.

“I was so angry at the company for betraying me. After a week or two of feeling angry, I began to feel down and out. This lasted for weeks as I searched for work. I had submitted my resume to over 30 companies and had not even gotten a call back by one for an interview. We were quickly eating through the savings we had worked so hard to save over the last 15 years. I felt hopeless and depressed.”

Finding meaning in our feelings phase:

During one of those long days at home alone, Robert decided to pull himself away from the computer to reflect on things. Looking back, Robert became aware that his boss did make attempts to give him signs that things were really not going so well for the company.




“I know what happened was not my fault, but there were lots of signs that the company was going to have to downsize. I just never thought that I would be a part of the downsizing! I had worked there so long and had such a good record of sales that I thought I wouldn’t be cut. I should have paid more attention to the signs, so I could have better prepared myself emotionally and financially. I definitely would not have purchased that new car!”

Robert realized that he needed to stop being angry and blaming the company and start taking some of the responsibility on himself for not paying attention to the signs that his company was struggling.

Recognizing opportunity phase:

“After months of searching for a job and no luck, I realized I had to switch gears. I was so tired of applying for jobs that I didn’t even want in the first place. I always felt that everything happens for a reason. I decided I needed to find that reason. I was pretty sure that I was not going to find that answer through my endless computer searches.”

Robert decided it was time for change in life and this was his once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make this change. He decided to take advantage of his situation and do something he was passionate about, music. His wife was able to start working full-time, so he didn’t feel the pressure to make as much money as he did in his sales job. He decided he would start teaching guitar lessons in the evenings and then he soon landed a job during the day at a musical instrument repair shop. While he didn’t make as much money as he did before, he was much happier.




� Music player


� “Happiness & Health” (formerly “Choosing Brilliant Health”) book, by Rick Foster and Greg Hicks with Jen Seda (Pages 160-161)


y “Review Take-Home Assignment”

y “Appreciation”

y “Overriding Hurt Story”

y “Thoughts That Stress Us Out: Thoughts Are Not Equal to Facts”

y “The Cognitive Model”

y “Thoughts That Stress Us Out: Unrealistic Expectations”

y “Thoughts That Stress Us Out: Overthinking”

y “Breaking Free From Thoughts That Stress You Out”

y “Thought Patterns”

y “We Can Always Have Hope!”

Session 4: Coping with Stressful Situations You Can’t Control and Moving Forward

y “Breathe”

y “An Attitude of Gratitude”




y “Mindfulness”

y “Recasting”

y “Finding Meaning”


y “Freeing Yourself From Time Stress”


y “Freeing Yourself From Time Stress: Simplify Your Life”

y “All Is Well”

� Handouts:

y “Thoughts Aren’t Facts”

y “Breaking Free From Stressful Thoughts”



Taking Care of You: Body, Mind, Spirit Session 4: Coping with Stressful Situations You Can’t Control and Moving Forward

� Handouts to refer to:




y “My Joy List”

y Post-program survey

Overview:1. Review take-home assignment

2. Introduction

3. Appreciation: A strategy for resiliency

4. Thoughts aren’t facts

5. Hope

6. One-moment breathing

7. Review key program concepts

8. Sharing: What did you gain from this program?

9. Post-program evaluation

Key session concepts:1. Increasing resiliency and ability to

cope through hope, appreciation, cognitive restructuring and humor

2. Mindfulness and awareness

3. Cognitive restructuring

4. A review of all program concepts


Taking Care of You: Body, Mind, SpiritSession 4: Coping with Stressful Situations You Can’t Control and Moving Forward Taking Care of You: Body, Mind, Spirit


Kabat-Zinn

a. Chapter 15 (Pages 199-204)

b. Chapter 25 (Optional)

2. “Happiness & Health,” by Rick Foster and Greg Hicks, with Jan Seda

a. Chapter 7


a. Chapter 4

4. “The MindUP curriculum: Grades 6-8,” by The Hawn Foundation

a. Attitude (Pages 111-113)

b. Gratitude (Pages 127-129 and 133)

5. Optional: “Wellness Workbook,” by John Travis and Regina Sara Ryan

a. Chapter 7: Sections 7.1, 7.2, 7.3, 7.4, 7.5, 7.9, 7.12 and 7.13



Session content


Optional: Have music playing as participants enter the room, such as “That’s Life,” by Frank Sinatra, “Don’t Stop Believing,” by Journey or “Hope,” by Jack Johnson

Remind participants to silence their cell phones and sit in a different seat than previous week

1. Review take-home assignment from last week: Dealing with stressful situations

Referring to “Review Take-Home Assignment” PowerPoint slide, discuss:

y Would anyone be willing to share their take-home assignment and how it went for them?

y What did you learn?

y What opportunities did you discover as a result of this?

Remind participants that this may be a very tough process to go through. If this was difficult for you, you might start by recalling a past situation and thinking about what you learned from it and opportunities the situation might have presented

2. Introduction


y Today we will continue to explore more ways for better dealing with stressful situations that are out of your control.

y We may feel trapped with no options, but there are things you can do to help deal with the situation.


Taking Care of You: Body, Mind, SpiritSession 4: Coping with Stressful Situations You Can’t Control and Moving Forward

3. Appreciation: A strategy for resiliency

Referring to the “Appreciation” PowerPoint slide, tell participants that appreciation serves as a strategy for coping with stress

y The idea of appreciation is something we have not mentioned yet, but it is closely related to one of the major topics of this program: awareness. We need to practice noticing and appreciating our good fortune. The ordinary good fortune in our lives makes it hard to catch. We tend to take for granted the simplest yet most important things in our world.

y Using appreciation strategies gives us a new perspective. When we take the time to appreciate something, we focus on something positive and make our brain less able to focus on the negative.

y Appreciation helps us cope and deal with stress, worry, challenging situations, sadness and other distressing thoughts and emotions. It elevates our mood and helps us gain a more positive outlook on life, preventing negative thoughts and emotions. It even helps prevent depression. Think of appreciation as taking a vitamin—it gives us energy and better health overall.

y Appreciation, or gratitude, also is a strategy that helps keep us living in the moment. For example, it’s helpful for us to take time to appreciate those we love and those things we are able to do.

y Appreciating things in life through our five senses—sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch—brings us into the moment as well. For example, we can appreciate the beauty of nature, sounds such as laughter or music, sensations such as a warm breeze as well as the smell and tastes of good food.

y Taking time out to appreciate things in life is another part of taking care of yourself. This is yet another strategy you can use in your daily life to deal with stress, and it takes no time at all. Take in moments with all five senses. It will help you capture a memory. You can keep a journal, a list or a jar with notes of the best moments you experience.

Referring to the “Overriding Hurt Story” PowerPoint slide, tell participants: I am going to read a short story that will show you how powerful appreciation can be from the book “Happiness & Health,” by Rick Foster and Greg Hicks, with Jen Seda



y Read story from “Happiness & Health” titled “Overriding Hurt,” and also the debriefing paragraph (Pages 160-161)

º If time allows, ask for feedback on the story.

y I encourage you to use appreciation when a stressful or challenging situation comes up in your life. Think of appreciation as medicine: It helps you feel better and it works almost immediately.We often have the tendency to make a situation worse in our heads by overthinking or changing the situation in our minds for the worse. The next strategies we are going to discuss can help us take control of thought patterns that cause us stress.

4. Thoughts that stress us out

Referring to the “Thoughts That Stress Us Out: Thoughts Are Not Equal to Facts” PowerPoint slide, tell participants:

y Sometimes our thoughts make things worse than they actually are. Thoughts are mental events; they are not always reality. Thoughts can feel like they have a mind of their own—once triggered, they can set off a series of other thoughts.

y Although thoughts exist only in our heads, they can be very powerful and affect how we feel and what we do. We must put our thoughts on trial and challenge their accuracy.

y Being aware of our thoughts as something separate from what is actually happening can help us deal with them and the tough situations that are creating the thoughts.

y Learning how to get some distance from our thoughts helps us to view our thoughts as only the beginning of a new perspective on things.

y This can help in freeing us from the old thought patterns that automatically come to mind.

y There are times when we think of our thoughts as reality, like when we assume others think poorly of us or we assume we know something will turn out badly.



y For example (see below or use your own example):

º I have a thought pattern that gets out of control. Every time I drive in bad weather, my fatalistic thoughts get out of control. I think of all the bad things that could happen. This makes me nervous, which makes me more likely to get in an accident. It is important to recognize that these are just thoughts and not reality, before they sink in and become who we are.

y Unrealistic expectations are thought patterns that can hurt us by making us more stressed or by making the situation worse.

Referring to “The Cognitive Model” PowerPoint slide, tell participants:

y Take a look at this overview of the Cognitive Model developed by Judith Beck. First you experience a situation or circumstance that triggers “automatic thoughts.”

y These automatic thoughts, based on what you believe to be true at the time, cause a chain reaction in your brain. This reaction includes emotional, behavioral and physiological responses.

y If we take a deep breath and think through the facts of the situation, we might find that our initial thoughts were inaccurate. It could be time to recast the story that is going through your mind.

Referring to the “Thoughts That Stress Us Out: Unrealistic Expectations” PowerPoint slide, continue:

y This thought pattern is common in situations in which you are being a perfectionist, holding extremely high expectations of yourself or when you’ve taken on too much and can’t do it all.

y For example, statements such as “I have to…,” “I must…” or “I should…” are common in this thought pattern.

y Your thoughts can be filled with criticism and judgment toward yourself and others. The resulting emotions often include guilt, worry, fear and frustration.

y This thought pattern is often associated with constant doing, because you don’t feel you deserve to relax.



y With this thought pattern, it is common to push yourself harder in the face of signs telling you to stop pushing and do something different.Provide examples and request additional examples from participants (for example, striving to get straight As, working long hours trying to be the best employee, attempting to keep the house looking perfect, etc…)

Referring to the “Thoughts That Stress Us Out: Overthinking” PowerPoint slide, tell participants:

y Another thought pattern that can make a stressful situation more stressful is overthinking, or ruminating, about the situation.

y Overthinking is endlessly, needlessly and excessively pondering the meaning, causes or consequences of a situation. It is obsessing about the whys, hows and “what ifs” surrounding problems.

y Often when we feel down, we think that analyzing the situation will be helpful. It does help some people for a short time, when they use the time to solve a problem, find meaning or learn from the situation. But it becomes harmful after a point.

y Overthinking can drag out negative emotions and actually make it more difficult to solve a problem and concentrate. Most importantly, people who ruminate often believe they are gaining insight into their situation when in reality they are developing a more biased, negative perspective.

Referring to the “Breaking Free From Thoughts That Stress You Out” PowerPoint slide, give participants the “Thoughts Aren’t Facts” handout and summarize

y The bottom line is that all of these unhealthy thought patterns end up bringing more stress into our lives and bring on more negative emotions.

y Finding ways that enable you to disengage from these different types of thought patterns will help you reduce your stress levels and bring you peace. I will provide some examples, but you’ll have to try things out and figure out what works best for you.



y Referring to “Thought Patterns” PowerPoint slide, tell participants: One way to break these thought patterns I’ve described involves recognizing that sometimes we are not aware we are falling into these patterns.

º One way to deal with negative thoughts is to become aware of them, which allows you to get a different perspective on them.

º Notice how these thoughts affect your feelings, bodily sensations and behavior. You can use this awareness to take your thoughts in another direction.

º Awareness leads to the opportunity to make a choice in how we respond.

y Doing things that engage your mind—such as the things you listed on your Joy List in a previous session—also can help break the cycle of overthinking and negative thoughts. Or do something that is mentally challenging, even something as simple as reading a good book. Choose mind activities that are engaging, not mind-numbing like TV or alcohol.

Referring participants to the “Breaking Free From Stressful Thoughts” handout, summarize the information

Activity: Have participants get into groups of two or three. Ask them to share the following with each other for the next five minutes:

y What are common negative thoughts you may have? How do these thoughts make you feel and act?

y Using your handout, talk to each other about ways you could break free from these thoughts in the future.

We are now going to discuss another way of dealing with challenging situations in life, one that you all have the ability to use anytime, anywhere and in any situation

5. Hope: When we don’t have options, we don’t have hope

Referring to “We Can Always Have Hope!” PowerPoint slide, tell participants:



y Hope is another strategy for coping with stress or problems that are out of our control. Hope is not simply about being optimistic about the future. It is about being realistic but open to a pleasant surprise.

y Sometimes we are in situations where we don’t have options—or we feel that we have no options—such as when a loved one dies or we’re diagnosed with a chronic illness.

y Being hopeful means that you are open to the possibility that a bright-er future lies ahead—that you are open to the surprise of life when everything turns out better than you thought it could. In other words, when a situation seems hopeless, there is always room for surprise. Being open to this allows for a hopeful reality. This hopeful reality may just become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

y We may not have control over the situation, but we have control over our response. We always have options, even if we can’t see them in our intense pain. Choosing to be hopeful is one response that will help you deal better with a situation.

y No matter how dire the situation, we can always be hopeful about something. Hope is a powerful tool to get through tough situations.

y We need hope to be able to cope when we feel trapped or out of options. Hope allows for inner peace, and opens up the possibility for options and control over our happiness.

y This class is all about helping you to explore new ways to see things and to think about things that can give you hope for the future. Hope is the feeling that gives us the strength to persevere. Small changes build up like sand.

6. One-breath cycle

Throughout this program, we have worked on using the breath as a way to bring us back into the present and bring about a sense of calmness and peace. We started with one minute, and we have been working down from there

y Referring to the “Breathe” PowerPoint slide, tell participants: Last week we dropped it down to just a three-breath cycle. I hope some of you found the time to fit this into your days over this past week.



y This week we are going one step further— to a one-breath cycle. This makes it usable in any situation to calm you, bring you back into the moment or to treasure the moment.

y The one-breath cycle is short, but can be extremely valuable. Never try to do it quickly. Make sure to exhale completely.

y OK, let’s give it a try. Find a comfortable position in your chair and gently close your eyes. When you are ready proceed with full awareness, take one full inhale and exhale slowly.


y If you find you are not getting as much out of the one-breath cycle as you were getting from the three-breath or the one-minute cycle, add breaths to it. You may want go back to the one-minute cycle if you feel you need it.

y Even though the one-breath cycle is short, it requires your full attention to be effective.

7. Experiential activity: An attitude of gratitude

Referring to the “An Attitude of Gratitude” PowerPoint slide and distributing the “An Attitude of Gratitude” handout, tell participants:

y Let’s take the next few minutes to reflect on those things in your life that you appreciate, and write them down on this handout.It can be simple things that make you happy, like a warm breeze or a good cup of coffee. Or it may be something bigger, like your family or a close friend who always makes you laugh. Don’t forget the little daily things, like something a family member does for you or the fact that your car started today. Whatever it is you appreciate in your life, take time to write it down on the handout.

Break:

Optional: Have music playing as participants return, such as “You Can’t Always Get What You Want,” by the Rolling Stones, or Come Sail Away, by Styx



8. Introduction

During the second half of class today, we will review some of the major topics we have covered in this program. Then I will return your handouts stating where you wanted to be after this program in their sealed envelopes. We’ll have some time to share what you’ve gained from this program, and then we will complete post-program surveys

9. Review key concepts of the program

Referring to the “Iceberg of Health” PowerPoint slide, tell participants:

y This program has provided strategies for you to take better care of yourself, particularly in the lower layers of the iceberg.

y Let’s review key concepts.

º Summarize the iceberg of health: This iceberg model shows how every aspect is connected. It is difficult to change a lifestyle behavior without first digging deeper to find out what is causing you to struggle in adopting a healthier behavior or what is drawing you to a less healthy lifestyle. The goal of this program has been to help you learn how to take better care of yourself to lead a healthier life.

Referring to the “Dimensions of Wellness” PowerPoint slide, tell participants:

y Taking care of all of these dimensions leads to a healthier you and helps you manage your stress. Being aware of the different aspects of your health and identifying areas where you excel as well as areas where you need to improve leads to a healthier, more balanced life.

y Refer to the “Dimensions of Wellness” handout and review a few examples of ways to support each dimension.

Referring to the “Triangle of Awareness” PowerPoint slide, tell participants:

y Becoming more aware of the body-mind connection—sensations or messages our bodies send us but which we often ignore, or are too busy to notice—helps us become more aware of how stress affects us.



y Paying attention to these body sensations or messages can help bring awareness to our thoughts and emotions. This awareness brings us back into the moment, and allows us to choose our response instead of reacting without thought.

y Sometimes all it takes is one deep breath to bring us back to the moment.

y Let’s do a one-breath cycle now. This time let’s try it with our eyes open. Remember to do it slowly and with full awareness. OK, go ahead.


Referring to the “Mindfulness” PowerPoint slide, tell participants:

y Mindfulness is simply bringing your awareness to the present moment and accepting whatever is happening in that moment. That is, accepting the situation even if you do not like what is happening.

y Refer participants to the “Responding Versus Reacting” handout

y Mindful awareness can bring more peace to our lives by freeing us from “monkey mind,” or constantly thinking about the past, future or what we need to do.

y Also, mindful awareness gives us the opportunity to appreciate things in life. Most of all, it allows us to “take it all in,” or live life to the fullest.

y What are some strategies you can use to help bring you back to the moment, or bring more awareness to your life?

y Refer participant to the “Living in the Moment” handout for more examples.

Refer participants their “Joy List” handout, and discuss engaging in things that bring joy

y Don’t forget about your joy list. Keep it and add to it. This list reminds you of what you value most in life, what makes you happy and what makes life worth living.



y Taking the time to do or even imagining yourself doing these things will elevate your mood, and make stress more manageable.

y It is important to do things on your joy list when life is most challenging.

Referring to the “Recasting” PowerPoint slide, tell participants:

y Sometimes life throws you issues that you can’t change. Remember the recasting strategy as one way to help you work through the situation and use it to your advantage.

y First take the time to really feel your feelings. Try to identify them. Remember the four basic feelings: sadness, fear, anger and joy.

y When you are ready, search for meaning in your feelings and ask yourself the following questions:

º Refer to the “Finding Meaning” PowerPoint slide.

º Review the four questions.

y Finally, look for opportunities as a result of the situation you’re in, based on what you’ve learned.

Referring to the “An Attitude of Gratitude” PowerPoint slide, discuss using appreciation:

y Take a moment every day to notice what you really appreciate in your life. Is it the blue sky, a friend or family member, the taste of food? Appreciation can be a powerful to improve your mood and change your outlook on life.

y You need appreciation the most when things in life are not going your way.

Referring to the “Freeing Yourself From Time Stress” PowerPoint slide, discuss ways to reduce time stress:

y Just a little bit of non-doing can go a long way toward bringing awareness to your life. Non-doing can be as simple as a few minutes of paying attention to your breath before going to sleep, or doing a short body scan when you wake up.



y We can create stress for ourselves by not doing the things we value. Take a look at your life to see if you are spending your time, energy and resources on what is really important to you.

y Referring to the “What I Value in My Life” PowerPoint slide, tell participants:

º Remember your list of things you value in your life. Could you stop doing some of the things you don’t value and start doing more of the things you do value?

Referring to the “Freeing Yourself From Time Stress: Simplify Your Life” PowerPoint slide, tell participants: Don’t forget about the “Ways to Simplify Your Life” lists you made

y Try to simplify your life by eliminating things that are not important to you. For example, maybe you could eliminate something from your morning routine so you don’t feel so rushed. Or maybe you should not purchase that extra ? Before taking on another responsibility or making a large financial commitment to something, ask yourself if it is really worth it to you.

10. What did you gain from this program? Share participant successes

Make sure group is sitting in a circle for this activity

Pass envelopes out to participants and have them read what they wrote four weeks ago

Ask participants to share what they wrote and whether or not they achieved these things, as well as what they gained from this program. Or have them share things they have changed since the start of the program

Note: This activity helps participants see patterns of change and realize changes they have not noticed in themselves

Ask participants whether they have questions or other things they would like to share. If not, conclude program and proceed to evaluations



11. Post-program survey

Please fill out post-program evaluation

y Your participation is voluntary.

References:






Segal, Z. V., M. G. Williams, and J.D. Teasdale. 2002. Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy for depression: A new approach to preventing relapse. New York: Guilford Press.


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