Bryan L. Viray Despedida (& other forms of ‘pakain’) as Gift

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My attempt to discuss the ‘gift’ of Marcel Mauss is through despedida parties & other forms

of ‘pakain.’ ‘Pakain’ is very evident in everyday ritual of Filipinos, especially when we welcome

visitors. The element of food is somehow the linking factor for us Filipinos to gather and celebrate.

This is usually actualize in our fiestas, reunions, birthday parties, among others. Despedida, I think is

a common form for Filipinos to articulate their happiness and excitement for the one who is leaving

– not because we are saying goodbye forever, but to let him/her feel that we would wait for his/her

return.

I will narrate my own narratives regarding despedida. These narratives are brief accounts set

in a very particular locale, thus, the paper will just present a microscopic instance of a despedida

among Filipinos. Through these narratives, I attempt to pinpoint Mauss’ definition of gift as “total

prestations.i”

Last October 2009, our Theatre Research class together with the System Information Office

(SIO) hosted a despedida party for our adviser-teacher Prof. Sir Anril Tiatco since he has to study in

NUS for his dissertation. I and my classmates brought food – spaghetti, barbecue, buko pie, cakes,

softdrinks, and the SIO staff even rented a videoke, since Prof. Tiatco is into videoke singing. That

day was also our chance to say thank you to our teacher for almost six semesters we have had. We

were saddened because he has to leave UP for five years, hence, we would not hear his lectures

anymore. As a sign of my gratitude and ‘pabaon,’ I gave him a morion mask from the province of

Marinduque. That mask is sort of an additional for his mask collection. I remember, we signed and

gave ‘goodbye’ messages in a tarpaulin with his picture posted in a wall. This was my first

experience hosting a despedida for a very close friend and mentor.

Two of my friends, Lucky and Joseph have to leave for a vacation in Netherlands and a study

tour in Paris, respectively. We again hosted a very simple ‘kainan,’ a sort of despedida. Lucky’s

Bryan L. Viray Despedida (& other forms of ‘pakain’) as Gift

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despedida was celebrated in her place while Joseph’s was in Venetto restaurant in Visayas Avenue.

Same ritual of food preparation and eating, memories recollection, messages of ‘pabaon’ & ‘paala-

ala,’ and wishes for ‘pasalubong’ were done. We even had picture taking for memorabilia. I

remember one of the guests saying, “Oh, wag kakalimutan ang pasalubong namin, kahit isang book

na artsy fartsy…nagdala ako ng ice cream at palaging present sa mga despedida party!”

Last September 2011, the UP Center for International Studies collaborated with Osaka

University for a conference called “Global Collaborations: A Conference on Natural Disasters.” Prior

to this conference, the CIS through the support of the Office of the Chancellor, hosted a welcome

dinner for the graduate students and faculty from the Osaka University. This welcome dinner was

held at the Balay Kalinaw. CIS faculty and friends, some University officials, and students were there

to welcome the Japanese delegates. That welcome dinner provided an opportunity for us to know

the guests, and establish more connection.

At the end of the conference before the Japanese left, CIS again hosted for their despedida -

a ‘thank you’ dinner.

Last week, Prof. Josefina Estrella, together with her team visited UP Los Baños for a meeting

with the Department of Computer Science faculty for a possible collaboration. When we arrived, the

faculty members welcomed us and explained the software that would be used for the production.

We had exchanges of questions and answers regarding the software and program. I even played the

software together with one of the faculty. We were surprised because we did not expect for a lunch,

since, we intended to go there just for a meeting. I remember Prof. Estrella saying, “Nakakahiya

naman, kami na nga ang nang-abala, kami pa ang papakainin ninyo.”“Minsan lang naman po ito,

pero sabihan ninyo kami agad kung bibisita ulet kayo para makapaghanda,” one of the hosts replied.

Bryan L. Viray Despedida (& other forms of ‘pakain’) as Gift

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After the ‘lunch-meeting,’ they even gave us tico berries (rambutan fruits) as ‘pabaon’ and

Kuya Manny (production manager) even requested for different varieties of plant and promised to

the grandmother (the owner of the house) that he would bring another plant when we visit them

again.

Going back to some tenetsii of Marcel Mauss’ gift, we can frame the given narratives as part

of the so called “total social phenomena” in a sense that despedida can be considered as

mechanism for “social integration.” When we say “total social phenomena,” Mauss is offering at

least two objectives: (1) to link the individual and social, specific and general, structure and process;

(2) to analyze diverse but concrete social phenomena. Let me use the first objective to clarify

despedida as a total social phenomena.

Through the elements found in despedida party itself – food & drinks, chit chat & laughter,

memories recollection, wishes & expectations, together with the individuals attending this event,

there is this sense of bond & tie. The despedida is the main process to help individuals in

establishing and transforming their specific agendas into a general and more social schema.

Nevertheless, the establishment of that social schema is examined/tested/evaluated through that

despedida or gift too. For example, our visit to UP Los Baños might give us an impression not only

on the main agenda (which is to see the software) but most importantly, on how they (the faculty

and other individuals) negotiate or transact certain business. And this is the second objective of

Mauss’ gift – studying the dynamics of contracts between groups.

The lunch we had, the gift, is not the main objective of the meeting. Or in Japanese

delegate’s case, the welcome and despedida dinner is not their main agenda. As a matter of fact, we

can even just say or text Prof. Tiatco, Lucky, and Joseph goodbye and ‘ingat.’ Thus, this ‘pakain’

seems like a voluntary deed by the host. The question is, why is it important for the host to offer

Bryan L. Viray Despedida (& other forms of ‘pakain’) as Gift

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this kind of ‘pakain’ or despedida? This is their subtle way of saying that you are obliged to repay or

to give back in exchange of our giving. This is best explained by Mauss’ “triad of obligations:” (1) to

give, (2) to receive; & (3) to repay.

In the event of homecomings or the return of Prof. Tiatco, Lucky, Joseph, the Japanese

delegates, and Prof. Estrella’s company, the host is somehow expecting for another exchanges or

reciprocal gifts, for these individual transactions would be able to be socially integrated. The morion

mask is somehow a sign of another pasalubong; the cake is waiting for a repay through that artsy

farsty book; the welcome & despedida dinner for Japanese is like saying that they are required also

to welcome us when we go to Japan; or the rambutan fruits and plants as ‘pabaon’ would be repaid

through another variety of plant or in fact to push through for that collaboration work. These

exchanges of “pabaon” & “pasalubong” are manifestations of repaying and giving back.

Accordingly, despedida or gift is a “total social phenomena” that is actualized through a

never-ending and obligated exchanges or giving.

i According to Mauss, Gift is a cross-cultural assay of an institution. He calls this as total prestations: exchanges that may appear to be voluntary but in

fact are obligatory and reinforced by recognized sanctions.

ii Basic tenets of Marcel Mauss’ Gift are adopted from Moore, Jerry D. 2009. Visions of Culture: An Introduction to Anthropological Theories and Theorists, Third Edition. United Kingdom: AltaMira Press. pp 121-133.