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By: Tripp Taylor

Step One: Take a photo of a broken Valentine’s day heart-

shaped lollipop.

Step Two:Run over the picture of the crushed lollipop with my 4WD truck

in order to crush it even more

Step Three:Spill some beer on my broken heart and step on it with the cold

mud of winter .

Step Four:Fold my broken-hearted lollipop picture into a guitar pick, write “Cherub” on it, and play a mushy Cherub love song with it. (aka

“Chocolate Strawberries”)

Step Five:Make my crushed-hearted lollipop photo into an iPod and play the Cherub song on it that I had just previously played on the

guitar. (“Chocolate Strawberries”)

Step Six:Spill some chocolate on my new iPod and stop the song.

Step Seven:Regret ruining my iPod and try to wipe off the iPod with a paper

towel, unfortunately destroying the iPod.

Step Eight:Make the best of the tragic situation and turn my glob of heart-brokeness, candy crushed, chocolate-covered paper towel into a baseball. (Then proceed to throw the baseball through the

window of the person who made me feel this way.)

Step Nine:Find my amazing baseball the next day in the street crushed

and broken, just like the heart candy. Next, cross out the “RUB” from the “Cherub” guitar pick and form the “C” into an “S”, therefore constructing the word “She”. Proceed to write a

sappy, cheesy line about broken-heartedness.

Step Ten:Show a fellow and un-amused roommate the line I had just

written and not receive any pity or condolence .

Step Eleven: Have the paper snatched from my hand by my roommate as he

proceeds to vomit all over it due to being grossed out and annoyed.

Step Twelve:Once again, try to make the best of the situation by

remembering I had another lollipop! However, this other lollipop had lost its stick. Therefore, I figured why not make this

mess of an experience into something beautiful… Another lollipop stick!

Step Thirteen:Enjoy a delicious treat to where my heart is happy again and

everything is ALL BETTER!!!!