Deep-London February 09

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Transcript of Deep-London February 09

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GET YOUR EVENT LISTED:e-mail: ANGELA@

DEEP-LONDON.CO.UKwhat’s on listings are

absolutely free!

Last date forinclusion in

March issue - 23 February

Ding Dong......and welcome to issue 68. Blimey charlie, January, eh - that was a hell

of a month wasn’t it? No? Must’ve just been me then - it was in factpossibly the worst month of my life whilst also being probably the jammiestand also rather nice and yet a tad frustrating, all in various turns. God is inthe detail, and he can keep ‘em as I’m saying nothing - those who know memost likely know all about it, and those that don’t, well, you really don’tneed to. Now that’s enigmatic - that’s textbook enigmatic that is, oh yes.

But enough of that, and on to this issue. It’s 8am on the day before wego to print and my internet connection and e-mail and everything has gonedown in flames quite spectacularly so Christ knows what we’re going to putin the mag this month. I look forward to finding out with a livelyanticipation. Hmm, given the absence of technology, and therefore access todownload the cover picture (can I just say, in a ‘Carry On’ fashion: AidenTurner - phwoar, crikey...), the listings and a lot more besides there’s not agreat deal more I can do at the moment, after writing this bit, so just talkamongst yourselves. Dum de dum...

Ok, I suppose really, seeing as though it’s February, we should mentionsomething about Valentine’s Day. It’s on the 14th. There you go, job done.Actually I’m not as down on it as usual this year and am in fact quitelooking forward to it because, as opposed to hiding under the duvet until itall goes away please, a load of us who are flying solo have decided to ruin itfor the rest of you smug bastards by getting together and taking over arestaurant in the centre of town, hopefully drinking them out of house andhome and generally annoying any couples who happen to be in the vicinity.Serves you right, and I’m not telling you which restaurant either, so there.Not that I’m bitter - LOL - which I’m told by someone substantially youngerthan me is the relevant terminology.

2pm - still no internet... So, anyway, how are your new year’s resolutionsgoing? Oh wow, that’s great / Oh dear, that’s a shame, at least you gave ita go / No, me neither / You did WHAT!?! (delete as appropriate). I myselfdidn’t bother with any resolutions this year, which turned out to be quitehandy given the stressful ghastliness, but I have nothing but the utmostadmiration for all the ex-smokers, clean and sober livers, new gymmembers, hamster-molesting refrainers and anyone else who’s given upenjoying themselves for the new year - kudos to all of you!

Hold up, stop everything, it’s 5pm and my mac’s just gone ‘ding’ - itdoes that when there’s stuff... Oh yes, we’re back online baby, and I cannow crack on with it - wahey! Better stick that bottle of wine back in thefridge then - boo! Every silver lining has a cloud...

On which note, that’s about it from me for this bit - only the rest of themag left to write - easy innit - and strangely, as these things go, it nowlooks like it might be panning out to be an alright one this month, if a tadslimmer than usual. I shall have some words with my hub thingummyjig forbeing temporally vexatious and wasting many, many hours of my time bybeing an arse, then conclude my stomp around Deep Villas in a big old sulk,

then get on and write the rest of this cra...marvellous stuff. And then I might go downthe pub. I know you like to be kept informedof my movements, presumably so you can goelsewhere...

Anyway, ta ta for now, stay safe, have agood Valentine’s day - but not that good(remember kids - disease!) and until nextmonth; feel the love, avanti and indeed allons-y! Angela xx Your Jammy Bonsai Editor

Contact Us:editor: angela ferrara tel: 07910 506197 / 020 8680 3558e: [email protected]

staff & contributors: mystic mike, auntie may, lazy-boy, nick booth,geoff lyons, amanda cook,

advertising sales:call angela on 07910 506197 or e-mail [email protected]

publishing & graphic design: deep-london

web design: neil williams, [email protected]

web hosting: europahost, 94 southbridgeroad, south croydon, CR0 1AF, tel: 0845 644 1484. www.europahost.net

thanks to: jean, tony, marie, jamie; twocroydon coppers; one croydon bus driver; nick,other nick, rob, john, dean at the rsc, james,sam, wendy, ferg, mat, dawn, stewart, kenny.

happy birthday: marie, bob, barry, graham, jo,juan, dave, kamilla, ricky, linda, andy, wendy,patrick, anthony

r.i.p: tony hart

Feb 2009Issue Sixty Eightdeep online at: www.deep-london.co.uk • www.issuu.com •

facebook • www.myspace.com/wiredmag • http://sk.im

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LISTINGS:

THIS MONTHSFEATURES:

What’s On Guide 19

Pubs, Clubs, Bars 33

Restaurants 36

Cabs / Hotels 38

Music 38

Cinema / Theatre 38

Adult 38

Being Human 4

Whitechapel 8

Midsummer Night’s Dream 12

Testing 123 14

Auntie May 40

Speed-Dating 42

Lazy Boy 44

Wrong Way Round 46

Can You Help? 50

Stars 52

FEBRUARY 2009

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12

14

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If you didn’t manage to catch the firstepisode of comedy drama ‘BeingHuman’ on BBC3 last Sunday then

we reckon you missed something of atreat. Written by Toby Whithouse(Torchwood, Doctor Who) as a six partseries after his hugely popular pilotepisode last year, the show follows thelives of three house sharing twenty-somethings and their secret double-livesas a vampire, a ghost and a werewolf,and it’s really rather good.

Deep caught up with this month’scover star, the easy on the eye andvelvety of voice Irishman Aidan Turner,who plays cool and laid back vampireMitchell, along with fellow supernaturalbeings Lenora Crichlow (Sugar Rush,Doctor Who, Kiss Of Death) who playsAnnie, the insecure and desperatelylonely ghost and Russell Tovey (LittleDorrit, Doctor Who, The History Boys)who plays neurotic werewolf George,and asked all of them: Er, the whatnow?!?

Aidan: "From the first episode itreally works. It's a great premise, it's allin the title really - it's very realisticsituations and deals with tons of realissues. It's dark and witty - Toby is afantastic writer."

Lenora: "It was pitched to me bymy agent and I thought 'that's a bit outthere!' I thought it was really funny andit was a script with heart. It's reallyquirky and light in some places, but it'sgot quite a dark undertone. It's just areally fresh take on dealing with life."

Russell: "There's so many layers to it- it's not just about a vampire, werewolfand ghost - it's about three peoplestruggling with life and trying to cope,which everybody can relate to. I woulddescribe it as a kind of This Life/ColdFeet/Buffy. With Toby's writing you'recompletely like 'wow, where did thatcome from?!' Everything is just brilliant;when it comes down to one-liners, or asituation and everything is just off-centre and quirky and suits the piece."

Aidan: "When tackling a

supernatural subject I sometimes find itdifficult to invest in the charactersbecause they don't really exist - butthere's so much heart to this story, somuch reality to it, it's easy to relate tothe characters.

"Certainly George, Annie andMitchell because they are three normalguys, which is evident from the firstepisode. They're not flying aroundputting spells on people - they work inthe hospital, live in a flat together,watch TV and go to clubs. I hope thatpeople watching think, 'I'd like them tobe my friend.' I think that's important."

The series follows the trio as they dotheir best to live their lives as normally

as possible despite their strange anddark secrets. But with unwelcomeintruders into their world, rumblingsabout an impending revolution from thevampire underworld and constantthreats of exposure - on top of theusual issues faced by everyonesurrounding love, work and mates - theonly thing they can really rely on is eachother.

For Aidan, the fact that Mitchell is avampire was a big attraction to the role.

"Everyone wants to play a vampire -it's something I've always wanted toplay! It's just one of those parts.Everyone has a dark side that they don'texpose too often - but when they do,you know about it.I look a bit like avampire, I think someone might havesaid that to me before. Also when youresearch into vampires there are allthese cults around the world that areinfluenced by them one way or another,so that was a really interesting aspect todiscover.

"Mitchell is 118 years old and to playsomeone like that is brilliant. With his

maturity he has a certain kind ofresponsibility and a worldly experiencethat not all people have. He's notbothered by a lot of things - that side ofhim I aspire to be like.

"He's also like a father figure in someways. I certainly think he's a fatherfigure to Annie. He's the more matureperson in the three-way relationship.Mitchell is the one where if somethinggoes wrong, the others talk to him. Ithink he's just a cool guy."

In stark contrast to which is Georgethe werewolf, neurotic, jumpy, unableto talk to women without ‘weeping orsetting fire to yourself’ and desperate tobe normal;

Russelll: "He's a screwed up fellowbut he's also got a heart of gold, he's asweetheart and he doesn't want to hurtanyone. I think people will find him abit odd but he's a very endearing,loveable guy.

"He just wants to be normal, and Isuppose a lot of people in life strugglewith this if they're somehow different.They just want to be the norm but thepoint is, what is the norm?

"He loves Mitchell to pieces – but hehas a problem with him in the fact thatMitchell seems to be sorted and cooland calm and collected, whereas Georgeis this neurotic Jewish, slightly camp attimes, guy! They have a kind of oddcouple relationship.

"It's complete sods law to George,moving into a house to be normal andthen there's a ghost there! So I think forGeorge his relationship towards Annie isslight resentment and a slightannoyance. He's always battling againsther being around because it doesn't fithis quota of what he wants to be thenorm."

“George, Annie and Mitchell are normal guys.They’re not flying around putting

spells on people...”

So there’s this vampire, awerewolf and a ghost,

and they walk into the

pub...

HumanNature...

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And while Aidan gets to be all cooland saucy, and Lenora is always in theclothes her character died in, Toveyappears to have drawn the short strawin having to be transformed into ahowling beast on a regular basis - amulti-stage process involving Russellgetting his kit off on camera, a sevenfoot animatronics werewolf, twoprosthetic heads and a prosthetic torso.

Russell: "It starts off with me, thenme with fake teeth and contact lenses,then I've got hair laid on to make myface look hairier. The next stage is mewith a prosthetic neck, then there's twodifferent prosthetic heads and aprosthetic torso. It's mad, when wewere watching a playback of it Ithought 'is that me? Oh no that's thehead!' because it looks incredibly real!

"I'm naked a lot so you're runningthrough the woods and there's a 20strong crew watching you and it's cold!I'm playing a Jew in this but I'm notJewish so I don't think they'll ever beshowing any full frontal shots – I'm notthat method!

"Once you've been filmed nakedonce you become normal with it. Ifilmed one scene and they gave me theoption to film it with my clothes on andI just said 'Let's do it with the clothesoff, eh?'"

Completing the flat-share trio isAnnie, played by Lenora Crichlow, a

talkative ghost lacking in self-confidenceand desperate for company. Annie is stillpining after her fiancé, whom she wasdue to marry before the fatal accidentthat left her with her ghostly affliction –and who happens to be the landlord oftheir flat.

Lenora: "Annie's very unsure whenwe first meet her. She's confined byroutine and other people's approval,and she's quite insecure and vulnerable,and a little bit needy because she's atthe whim of so many things outside ofherself.

"But slowly as the story unfolds shehas to start to toughen up and proveherself. It's a really nice journey and oneI think a lot of women will relate to.

“All the characters' unusual qualitiesare grounded in real stuff - addiction,self-esteem, anger, love – all of themare dealing with being human just on areally extreme scale.

“Mitchell is the father figure or olderbrother of the house, he's kind of incharge and Annie looks to him to makesure everything's ok. He gives her a lotof reassurance and she feels safe in hispresence. He's so old, he's been there,done it all, he seems to be a bit moreknowing. He's there for Annie, he's herrock.

"Annie's relationship with Georgestarts off a bit tetchy – if there was afamily dynamic they would be brother

and sister. There's some bickering at firstand they're sussing each other out.Then I think there's a pivotal scenewhere they are there for each other andput their differences aside – they find acommon ground and can just relate toeach other. They need each other nowbecause no one else really gets it orunderstands."

Off camera though, it appears therewere no such problems getting on;

Aidian: "It's been brilliant workingwith Russell and Lenora, it's been anabsolute joy. We got to a stage veryquickly where we couldn't do a scenewithout bursting out laughing in therehearsal! That's a good point to be at,we were really comfortable with eachother straight away. I think everyone isperfectly cast – Jason who plays Herrick,Annabel who's Lauren, Dylan who playsSeth – everyone, it's all spot on."

Lenora: "They're wicked! I couldn'task for two better guys to be workingwith. We spend time together off setand on set – they're both brilliant and Ilove watching their work. I think wereally have a lovely chemistry – I'mgoing to stop gushing now!"

Being Human BBC3 Sundays 9pm(rptd Mondays 10.30pm). Missed the

first one? Catch it again on bbc i-playerwww.bbc.co.uk/iplayer

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“I am down on whores and Ishan’t quit ripping them till I doget buckled..."

It’s stange how things work outsometimes isn’t it? For example, friendof the mag John ‘Creepy’ Chambersstarts doing dead cheap but marvellous,dramatic and theatrical Jack The RipperTours around the streets of Whitechapel,scene of the grisly murders and threeweeks later a major new drama pops upabout that very thing, called simply‘Whitechapel’. Serendipity it is, and ithappens to us quite a lot. A nice sitdown and a chat to stars of the newthree part series, Rupert Penry-Jones andSteve Pemberton might be in order. Herewe go then.

Set against the contrasting facades ofWhitechapel, London, a series of bloody,tragic and impossible crimes suggestsomeone is carrying out copycat Jack theRipper murders 120 years after the killerfirst struck. In a city under the constantsurveillance of CCTV and safe in theknowledge that DNA evidence helpscatch even the most dangerous criminal,this modern day Ripper still manages torecreate the slaughter with alarmingaccuracy while mirroring the red herringsand twisted idiosyncrasies connected tothe original case.

The murders are investigated by threeunlikely heroes: Joseph Chandler (Penry-Jones), a fast-tracked, media savvy DI onhis first big murder case; Ray Miles (PhilDavis) and Edward Buchan (StevePemberton), the expert on myths andlegends behind unexplained or violentdeaths: an eccentrically brilliantRipperologist.

Rupert Penry-Jones is quick to pointout that DI Chandler, his character inWhitechapel, is no hero.

“He doesn’t have all the answers. He

doesn’t know how to fix everything. Hedoesn’t kill the bad guy and saveLondon like Adam in Spooks, he’s a bitless of an action man and a bit morecerebral. He doesn’t really like the sightof blood. Chandler is the total oppositeto Adam in that way; he finds the wholething quite scary. It was actually reallynice to play someone who was not anaction man for a change. He is a slightlyobsessive, compulsive, asexual guy. Youget no insight into his personal life at all.It is all work with him.

“Whitechapel starts with him beinggiven his first murder case which allconcerned think is going to be a simpledomestic. But of course it turns out to bea serial killer. So he ends up on this

investigation having to muck in a lotmore than he expected and realises heenjoys policing rather more than justsitting behind a desk.

“The first thing that hit me was thescript - a real page turner. I was totallygripped by this modern telling of theJack the Ripper story. And I loved therelationship between Chandler andMiles. Even more so as Phil is an oldfriend from when we made NorthSquare together, so that was an addedbonus.”

What wasn’t a bonus, however, wasthat Penry-Jones knew nothing aboutJack The Ripper coming into the project;

“To be honest I didn’t even realise hehadn’t been caught! I thought theycaught the suspect in top hat and tails. Inever realised that there was this hugeconspiracy story going around.

“I found the research very interesting.I didn’t realise how gruesome it all wasthough. They really were the most awfulmurders. He did terrible things to thosewomen, even eating bits of their bodies.He was the original serial killer.”

Many of Whitechapel’s pivotal sceneswere filmed at night. Rupert recalls:

“You can’t get very close to many ofthe original murder scenes but what wasstrange was while we were filming thesebig scenes we would see the actualRipper tours walking past the sights. Itwas a bit surreal.”

“The night shoots were extremelygruelling on everybody. All the Londonboroughs have different curfews so wewould only be allowed to film up to acertain time – some would be 10pm,some midnight and so on. It meant youcouldn’t get a good run at the nightshoots and we were always having tochange our hours.”

But perhaps the toughest part of therole for Rupert was remembering thedialogue littered with names and datesand locations…

“When I was discussing all the victimsI had the art department put up a bigstoryboard behind me. I used it as aprop to emphasise my speech but also asa prompt for remembering the names ofthe women who were killed. I had it allup there behind me to reference if I gotlost.

“I find all that line learning rathertiresome but lines are easy to learn if thedialogue is good. And this wascompelling.”

MEanwhile, someone who has noproblem with the names and dates (aswell as our very own Creepy) isRipperologist and bona fide expertEdward Buchan, played by the League ofGentlemen’s Steve Pemberton;

"People like Buchan, who are wilfullyeccentric, can be hard to portray onscreen, His language is very fruity andheightened so, alongside the director, Iwas really looking for ways of bringingthat down and puncturing that. I didn'twant him to be dislikeable oroverbearing so we worked hard to findhis particular journey through the threeepisodes. I was very conscious that Ididn't want him to stand out like acharacter from a sketch show mixingwith these characters from a dark drama.

“When we were filming these big scenes we’d seethe actual Ripper tours walking past the sights. Itwas quite surreal...”

It’s the East End of London, 120 years after Jack The Ripper and, asthey say in Taggart, ‘There’s been a murrrder...’

White Heat

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Hopefully we all inhabit the same worldin the end.

"There is real progression for thischaracter. He does get close to Chandler,in fact Chandler lets him into theinvestigation too much and it backfireson him.

"Ripperologist is a word I had neverheard before I did this job. Then Irealised there is still a thriving industry inRipper books, tours and memorabilia, sowhen Buchan sees the location and thetiming of the first murder heimmediately has an inclination that thiscould be a copycat killing - it is exactlythe day and place where Jack theRipper's first murder occurred.

"I think Buchan would be a quite abig fish in a small pond within the worldof Ripperology. Almost world-renowned.So when he presents himself to thepolice he really thinks they need him. Asthe story progresses he actually becomesinvolved in a real life investigation asopposed to an academic one.

"But we see him crack a bit as hebecomes heavily involved. I think if youstudy something that happened 120years ago it is very different to suddenlybeing confronted by the reality of thesegruesome murders.

"I think he was fairly cocky when he

started liaising with police but whenBuchan sees photographs of the victimswho have recently been killed he startsto realise that perhaps some of hisactions may have contributed to themodern murders."

Steve admits that his knowledge ofthe multitudinous Ripper theories comesfrom old movies.

"I'd never read up on the subject butthere is a film starring Michael Cainecalled Inspector Abberline that I used towatch with my friends from The Leagueof Gentlemen. It's one of those filmsthat's so bad it is good. Every ounce ofknowledge I have is from fictionalisedaccounts. Luckily I had on my shelf apocket guide to Jack the Ripper whichsomeone had given me as I didn't havemuch time to gen up before I got therole and started filming.

"A lovely touch was being givenBuchan's own Ripper book at the end offilming. My picture was on the flyleaf."

One of the most useful pieces ofresearch for Steve was taking part in anorganised Ripper tour, (unfortunately notrun by Creepy);

"Our Ripperologist told me it was avery competitive world and as suchmany friendships are made and lost.There are constant accusations and

counter accusations being made aboutstealing research and so on. He wasfascinating but very respectful that thiswas an investigation of crime and not asensationalist account. He did justenough storytelling but I think Buchan isfar more theatrical; he does love thedrama of it."

Steve found filming in the East End atall times of the day and night incrediblyatmospheric. He says:

"You have the authentic Victorianarchitecture, gas lamps and cobbledstreets then as you look around you seeyou are surrounded by these high risebuildings and neon lights. It is a greatjuxtaposition of then and now.

"When you look down some of theseshadowy, damp and dingy alleys, thatlook as though they haven't changedsince Jack the Ripper's day, you can startto understand just how these murderstook place outside in the capital city ofLondon. And you start to get a pictureof what it must have been like."

Whitechapel starts on ITV1 in earlyFebruary.

See the what’s on pages for dates ofCreepy’s Ripper Tours.

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Right in the middle of thispunishing winter, the RSC’sMidsummer Night’s Dream

arrives in London from Stratford - andmuch needed it is, too!

Gregory Doran’s energetic yetenchanting production enthralls fromthe moment Egeus barges in on KingTheseus demanding the king force his(Egeus’s) daughter, Hermia (a spiritedperformance from Two Pints of Lagerand a Packet of Crisps’ KathrynDrysdale), to marry someone with

whom she is not in love, Demetrius(briskly played as a sort of YoungConservative drone by the promisingEdward Bennett). She prefersLysander (Tom Davey), who isamusingly played as a hippy stoner.

Before long, they are all off in theforest, which is seething with fairiesand moonlit magic. Oberon andTitania (strong and sensualperformances from Peter De Jerseyand Andrea Harris), king and queenof said fairies are having a falling outover possession of Titania’s page boy,

here played by a small puppet (whosepenis drew unintentional laughterfrom the front rows). Oberon employsPuck (played as a humorous, hornylittle devil by Mark Hadfield) to workmagic on his behalf, and before longTitania is in love with a man with anass-head and thus the plot thickens…

Meanwhile, the famous RudeMechanicals, all dressed for some kindof cyberpunk dystopia and led in ashow-stealing comic performance byJoe Dixon as obese, Brummie-

accented Bottom, rehearse their play-within-the-play, The Tragedy ofPyramus and Thisbe.

Francis O’Connor’s ingeniousdesign and Tim Mitchell’s atmosphericlighting sets all this off enchantingly,with mirrors, mist, moonlit clouds anda forest of fairy lights.

What with Bottom having his headturned into an ass and magic potionsand hallucinogenic evenings inarcadian forests, you have to think –was Shakespeare fond of getting offhis face in the countryside? This

prince of poets certainly could writeabout altered states of love andnature like no other.

Paul Englishby’s music perfectlycomplimented the play. Beautiful,playful and other-worldly, the RSCcould do worse than put it out on CD- I’d buy it.

Apart from the minor niggles ofhaving the King dressed as a fascistdictator (some RSC ideas arebecoming a little shopworn andrepetitive) and the final Pyramus andThisbe sequence needing somecutting to prevent audienceexhaustion, the whole production isperformed Shakespeare at its best.

If you fancy some respite leavefrom weather-lashed, credit-crunchedBritain, the RSC’s Dream willtransform a dowdy January eveninginto one of love, magic - and fairies.As Puck advises at the end of theplay, ‘trip away’!

A Midsummer Night’s Dream playsat The Novello Theatre, Aldwych,

London, until 7 FebruaryTickets priced from £5 - £40

To book visit www.rsc.org.uk orcall 0844 482 5135

An enchanting evening at the theatre with The Royal Shakespeare Company and writer Johnny Argument...

The RSC’s Dream will transform a dowdy Januaryevening into one of love, magic and fairies.

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Singer / Songwriters:Jon Hart Music:Having battled with obstacles bothmusical and personal, Jon’s music hastaken a daring and individual twist sincemoving to the mainland from the Isle OfWight. He has a degree in music anddescribes his music as funky, individualmusic and heartfelt honest stories.www.jonhartmusic.com General Paulus:General Paulus is Croydon circuit regularGregg Kelly (vocalist and guitarist) who’sjoined by Joe Flynn (bass / guitar) andCraig Foster (drums) and whose groupstyle has been compared to The Stooges,Nirvana, Late Of The Pier, The Kills,Captain Beefheart and PJ Harvey. Blimey.www.myspace.com/generalpaulus Peter Walsh:Peter competed in last years ‘Testing123’ and in the spirit of ‘If at first youdon’t succeed, go back for morepunishment’ he’s back again, definitelyolder but probably not much wiser.

Peter started his musical careerplaying in various bands in his nativeYorkshire and during this time heenjoyed the collaborative process ofwriting songs.

He has always enjoyed singing aneclectic range of styles, from soul andfunk numbers to the timeless classicsmade famous by Sinatra and the legendsof early jazz.

In late 2006 hisattention reverted tosong writing. Testing123 was the first timePeter had sung hisown songs in publicfor 13 years. Thefeedback given wasencouraging and he’sspent the last yearrefining. Peter hassettled on afolky/ambient/poppy- God knows whatreally - style of music,but is having a lot offun and hopes toshow the judges what

progress he’s made.www.myspace.com/peterwalshsongs De’Borah:De’Borah is another returning entrantwho believes singing and songwriting isher gift, along with playing the guitar.She enjoys sharing the comfort she findsin music because ‘it’s so moving and sopowerful’ De’Borah started with musicat age 11 and has written many songsand is currently studying at the BritSchool. She says her influences are Sting,John Mayer and Joni Mitchell. Shewasn't to inspire people with songs oflove hop and truth through indie, folkand soulful vibes.Zara Kershaw:

Sixteen year old Zara grew up inManchester and started rebelling againstwhat the charts made her listen to assoon as she could. She’s interested in thelegends of music like Sinatra, RayCharles and Stevie Wonder, althoughrecent artists like Christina Aguilera playa part in creating a crossover of old andnew influences which play a part in herunique ‘soulful and jazzy with a popedge’ sound. Zara finds basic keyboardskills help her when writing music andshe ‘truly believes anything is possible,and that we can all achieve our owndesire if our mind is set to it’. You gogirl.

STIX:Stix learnt piano at primary school,appeared in many concerts singing soloand with a choir, and wrote his firstcomposition while still there. He tookGCSE music two years early and got anA* for the song ‘Stormbreaker’ inspiredby the Alex Rider books by AnthonyHorowitz. He now spends most of hisspare time composing not just songs butorchestral pieces too and performswhenever he can. He sings solo or withothers and composes in several differentstyles, with his favourite being thepower ballad! He also enjoys takingsongs and arranging them in his ownstyle. This year he’s taken part in ‘Liveand Unsigned’ in Croydon and played to1000 people in Japan. He’s been told hewill ‘go far’. We shall see, and from hispicture (not shown) he looks about 12,so good luck!

Hip Hop / R’n’B:Yookay:Are a 6 piece hip hop band who’ve beentogether 6 years. With Mark on rappingduties, Ben and Russell creating beats‘Lax Lacky’ on phat bass, Dave on keysand Titch on Trumpet they create lyricaltunes with an irresistable head-noddingtempo.Big In Da Game:Are another a six piece band made up of

It’s that time again, the annual musical bun-fight that is Testing 123at The Clocktower. Let’s have a look at the runners and riders...

Testing It...

skarab

peter walsh

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Lucky, Humuh, Hassin, Nathan, Christianand Jermain who formed at CroydonCollege and have since played manyshows at the college at at the Herne HillHalf Moon. They describe their music asHip Hop and RnB, but they also dofunky house and garage. G. Rosa:Italian born G.Rosa is a hopeful pop rnbsinger who after performing in severalbands as well as dancing and acting, isnow pursuing a solo career. Herinfluences include Rihanna, Beyonce,Whitney, Duffy, Wino and Leona Lewis,although she listens to lots of differentgenres. She describes herself as a fighterand has a powerful yet smooth voicewhich she hopes will allow here to makeher musical dreams a reality. FlowVocal:Are Dale L. Prime aka Maveriq and DaneR. Cole aka Mysterious Ace who met atCroydon College. Former members of anRnB collective, the two now go it alonewith Ace provides the hard hitting,metaphor induced flow while Maveriqcontributes with his soft, soulful,melodious vocals The King of Dance:Is a a young man with a lot going on,he’s made an album called Dance Kings,has two tracks released for download,has written, directed, produced andstarred in some low budget horror andsci-fi feature films which are available fordownload from a website calledwww.lulu.com (type in King Of Dance tolocate these films on the website), he’written a book called-DEADLANDS:TALES TO TERRIFY THESOUL (a collection of short horrorstories) also available on www.lulu.comand he’s entered the BRITAIN'S GOTTALENT competition, passed theproducer's audition stage and is nowthrough to the theatre 'buzzer'stage.He’s due to appear in front of the3 judges at the alexandria theatre inbirmingham at the end of the month.Not sure what he’s going to do on the

night then...The Trio: Who we don;t seem to have any infoon. Enigmatic...

Bands:In The Long Run:In The Long Run were formed in 2008and consist of Diego Albano (vocals andguitar), Matt Smith (bass), Tome Eales(lead guitar) and Dan Spry (drums).Created from the debris of a formerband, they describe their music as punkpop beats with chunky guitar riffscreating a sound not so common on theBritish music scene. After a first gig atThe Brief, In The Long Run have sincesupported Goldilocks and Lethal Bizzle,and have an EP out called ‘These Years’released in September. From months ofwriting and performing they’ve got ahost of songs boasting all the elementsof punk/pop rock, and we look forwardto seeing what they’ll do with this yearsmandatory cover tune. Good luck lads. Sugar Stone Feat. Jaz Ellington:Sugar Stone is a collective of singers andmusicians whose passion is music,bringing songs alive through pulsatingbeats and honey sweet harmonies.They’ve played the Jazz Cafe and theCroydon Summer Festival and continueto grow in numbers but whatever thesize of the band, the sound is big. JazEllington is an alto/tenor soul singer andsongwriter whose influences includeStevie Wonder, Aretha Franklin, LutherVandross and more and as well assinging with Sugar Stone, is pursuing asolo career.Testing Flaws:Testing flaws, aka Chris French, ElliasGhazouani and Chris Dixon met 20 yearsago in primary school and after variousoutings in various bands got together acouple of years ago. Their music isdescribed as ‘most certainly of a rockvariety’ with influences from LedZeppelin to Muse, Audioslave to JeffBuckley with a few covers of Destiny’s

Child and Ray Charles thrown in just forthe hell of it. Black Krash:Are yet another 6 piece outfit (Scarlett -lead vocals, Ruby - vocals and guitar,Anthony - keyboard, Kriss - guitar,Chipo - bass and Sam on drums) formedout of Croydon College. They began asrock but as ideas progressed they havenow evolved into metal, and Testing 123wouldn’t be the same without a goodold metal band, so hurrah for that!www.myspace.com/blackkrashSkarab:Skarab is a dub fusion band fromCroydon, formed in September 2008 ata table on the ground floor of the GreenDragon pub. A diverse mix of influencesand characters now combine to create acompletely unique and evolving sound inthe band, with members often swappinginstruments and places within the group,and the band learning multiple versionsof the same songs in different styles.Periodic guest appearances fromsaxophonists, percussionists and rappershelp to keep things fresh.

Since that fortuitous meeting in thepub the band had been practising everyweek, building up a repertoire of musicfor gig work in the new year.

The future is bright for Skarab, withSummer festival appearances in Europelined up and new material being workedon every week.

Testing 123 Singer/Songwriter heat 17th Feb

Hip Hop heat 18th FebBand heat 19th Feb

Grand Final 20th Feb

All at The Croydon Cloctower - for moredetails visit the box office.

black krash testing flaws

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CENTRALCROYDON:• All Bar One• Bar Red Square• Bar Se7en• Beanos Records• Bedford Tavern • Black Sheep Bar • Brief • Bull’s Head• Clocktower

(Tourist Info) • Dog & Bull• Eagle • Fairfield Halls• Goose on the

Market• Gun Tavern• Green Dragon • Half and Half

Lounge Bar• Loop Pool Bar• Milan Bar • Mojama• Natterjacks

(St George’s Walk)

• Royal Standard • Ship • Spreadeagle• Steelpoint Tattoo• Strictly UK

(Tramms)• Surrey Cricketers• Tiger Tiger• Timebomb

Clothing• Walkabout • Yates’s Wine

Lodge

EASTCROYDON:• Builders Arms • Glamorgan • Orchard • Oval • Porter & Sorter • Tramlink Info

Centre• Warehouse

Theatre

ADDISCOMBE:• Alma Tavern • Claret Free Hse• Cricketers

WESTCROYDON:• Bird in Hand • Bodyworks

Whitehorse Rd• Davys Wine Bar • Forbidden Planet• Fox and Hounds• Windmill

SOUTH END &SOUTHCROYDON:• Bodega• Croham Arms • Crown & Pepper • Crown & Sceptre • Earl of Eldon• Edge • Folly • Jalalis • Kays Off Licence• LA Fitness

(Royal Oak)• La Spezia Deli

(Old Pharmacy - Swan &

Sugarloaf)• Laithwaite’s

Wines (opp. Windsor Castle)

• Peking Tasty • Purley Arms • Rail View• Red Deer • Rupali• Ruskin House • Sackville Gallery • Scream Studios• Stag & Hounds• Sth Croydon BR • Swan &

Sugarloaf • Txt Bar• Treehouse• Unwins (Swan &

Sugarloaf)• Wheelwrights

Arms • Windsor Castle• Woodman • Zizzi

PURLEY:• Baan Thai• Brass Monkey• Coffee Bay

(by Purley BR)• Elliott’s• Jolly Farmers

• Las Fuentes • Rectory• Purley BR• Purley Pool• Purley Oaks BR• Station Cars

(Purley BR)

PURLEY WAY:• Gipsy Moth• Premier Travel

Inn Hotel• Green’s Gym

SANDERST’D:• Sanderstead BR• Stones Hair

Salon• Wine Cellar

SHIRLEY:• Cricketers• Crown• Sandrock • Shirley Inn • Surprise Inn

FORESTDALE:• Forestdale Arms• McDermott’s

Fish Restaurant

SELHURST:• Clifton Arms• Pepperton UK• Selhurst Arms• Two Brewers

THORNTONHEATH:• The Lord Napier

WOODSIDEGREEN:• Beehive

SOUTHNORWOOD:• Portmanor

KENLEY:• Kenley Arms

WHYTELEAFE:• Whyteleafe

Tavern

Deep-London AdvertisingRate Card:

eighth page: £50quarter page: £100half page: £175full page: £300- cover prices on request -

all prices are per month, full colourdiscounts available for block booking etc

FREE advert design service

To advertise please call Angela the Editor on:07910 506197 / 020 8680 3558e-mail: [email protected]

Got something going on?We’re not psychic, people - let usknow! What’s on listings are FREE!

Call Angela on 07910 506197 or 020 8680 3558 or e-mail:[email protected]

What’s on? 19full weekly and daily guide

Pubs, Clubs, Bars 33

Restaurants 36

Cabs / Hotels / Music 38

Cinema / Theatre 38

Adult 38

All our information was correct at the time ofgoing to press, but as the only certainty inlife is change, we suggest you check beforeheading out. The opinions and reviews whichfollow are those of the Editor and staff - ifyou have an issue to raise about them, pleasering us, rather than the venue.

Listings Index:Pick up your copyof Deep from any of these lovelyplaces:

Stockists:

Deep-London Readership:25,100 monthly

plus online at www.deep-london.co.uk

on facebook (deep-london),www.myspace.com/wiredmag,www.issuu.com, http://ski:im

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Book Now For:• Comedy: Totally LoopedTOTALLY LOOPED is a hilarious film-themed show featuring Britain's topcomedians. After taking Hollywood bystorm, TOTALLY LOOPED comes to theUK for the first time. Sparked byaudience suggestion, our comedians dubimprovised dialogue over ever-changingfilm clips, as well as playing a range offilm-themed comedy games. So join thecream of Britain's improv talent for anight at the movies. Only, not quite asyou remember them! ‘The only thingmore fun than performing in TotallyLooped is watching Totally Looped andlaughing myself silly!'--Dan Castellaneta (The Voice of HomerSimpson)Looping in the UK will be:Phill Jupitus, Marcus Brigstock, SanjeevBhaskar, Hattie Hayridge, Joe Liss,Toby Hadoke, Pippa Evans, The PennyDreadfuls, Natalie Haverstock, TomWateracre. The show will run 2 Feb - 15March at 22 top-flight venuesthroughout the UK. For dates and placesvisit www.totallylooped.co.uk• Theatre: FrankensteinEXIT THEATRE CO-OP Proudly presentsFRANKENSTEIN 1930. Adapted fromMary Shelley’s book by Fred Carmichaelat the Charles Cryer Studio Theatre39 High Street, Carshalton SM5 3BBThurs.12th, Fri.13th & Sat.14th February2009 7.45pm + Matinee Sat.14th at2pm. BOX OFFICE TEL: 020 8770 6990Tickets £9.50/£7 concs.

Every Day:• Theatre: Yound Dick BartonUntil Sunday 22nd February - NOTMONDAYS.This new episode takes Dick back to hisearly days travelling from stiff upper lip1930s Britain to Australia via Arabiatrying to unravel the decipher and foilanother evil plot. A legendary tweed suitpromises its wearer ultimate power.Dick must scour the globe to reunite thepieces of the mysterious suit, to stop itfalling into the wrong hands - and towin the girl of his dreams. With non-stop action The Devil Wears Tweedfeatures new songs, brings backfavourite characters and introducesfamiliar faces from the past - fromHollywood's Irving Berlin to cricket heroDon Bradman. "An energetic and

talented cast tell this tale of derring-dowith great aplomb.As well as delivering virtuoso comicperformances, they also sing withvigour,and even double up as the band for themusical numbers - such dashed goodfun!' The Times on a previous episode.Various times and prices. Please call 020 8680 4060or visit the websitewww.warehousetheatre.co.ukThe Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road, Croydon• Event: Ice SkatingThe glorious Somerset House Ice Rinkstays open until January 25th.“Open all day and into the night sevendays a week until the end of January,Somerset House Ice Rink is a treat forevery Londoner. Friends can celebratethe festive season at moonlitLate Skate sessions, or skate to London'ssharpest DJs at DJ Nights in January.Everyone can hone their skills atJanuary's Skate School.The Skate Café and Bar is open frombreakfast to late evening daily with atempting selection of quality comfortfood and hot drinks. Spectators arealways welcome to come along andwatch, so bring friends and relax in thecafe after your skate or round off thenight with a glass of bubbly. Ticketsfrom £10.50 - £15. Family ticketsavailable.Somerset House, Strand, LondonWC2R 1LABooking: 0844 847 1520 (booking withTicketmaster)www.somersethouse.org.uk• Exhibition: Statue PhiliaUntil 25 January 2009The British Museum has one of theworld’s most celebrated and diversecollections of sculpture, dating fromprehistory to the present day. Since itsfoundation in 1753, the Museum hasconsistently engaged with thecontemporary world, both in itscollecting and its displays. These twothemes are brought together inStatuephilia, for which five of Britain’sleading artists have contributed asculpture responding to these world-famous collections. Renowned Britishsculptor Henry Moore spoke of ‘thedelight, the excitement, the inspiration’he received from his visits to the BritishMuseum, and this remains true for thesculptors of today. Antony Gormley and

Ron Mueck are represented here bymonumental sculptures, Marc Quinnpremieres a dazzling gold statue of KateMoss, while Damien Hirst and Nobleand Webster have created provocativenew works inspired by the Museum’scollections. These five installations showhow our understanding of modern artcan be deepened by placing it in anhistoric, global context and reveal justhow relevant the art of the past is totoday. Statuephilia encourages us tolook afresh at both modern and ancientart, to explore the similarities as well asdifferences between eras and cultures,and to remind ourselves of the perennialpower of sculpture.FREE ADMISSIONThe Museum is open daily, 10.00–17.30The British Museum, Great RussellStreet, London WC1B 3DGwww.britishmuseum.org

Every Monday:• Market: Surrey StreetLondon’s oldest continuously runningmarket since 1276, with fruit and veg,bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food,all sorts. Monday - Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydonwww.surreystreetmarket.com• Music: Free Your VoiceWorld a capella singing drop-in.Beginners 6.30pm, intermediate 7.45pm.Workshop rooms at The Clocktower,Katharine Street. For more details phoneCate on 020 8683 4737 or [email protected].• Music: Folk and Blues ClubFrom 8pm. Prices vary depending onartist. Call Brian on 0208 698 5322 forfurther info. Licensed bar. RuskinHouse,Coombe Road, CRO. • Music: Big Beer BandThe 8 million Big Beer Band musiciansdo their big-band thang at the Brief.From 9pm ishTheBrief, George Street, Croydon• Games: Free PoolEvery Monday at The Alma.The Alma Tavern129 Lower Addiscombe Rd, CR0, 020 8654 5842• Lifestyle: Croydon Life ClubEvery Monday 7.30-9.00pm £15.00 perworkshop (Concessions given)Croydon Life Club, St Mildred’s Centre Bingham Road, Addiscombe, CR0 7EBMore info visit: www.lifeclubs.co.uk

what’s on Something to do every night of the week, Yay!

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• Dance: Ballroom & LatinAmericanBallroom and latin American classes withstars from BB1 show “Strictly ComeDancing” Fairfield Halls Croydon onMonday evenings for all abilities. 8 week course. Booking essential.Telephone 07944 931130,www.karenhardystudios.com

Every Tuesday:• Market: Surrey StreetLondon’s oldest continuously runningmarket since 1276, with fruit and veg,bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food,all sorts. Monday - Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydonwww.surreystreetmarket.com• Fitness: Yoga ClassesEvery Tuesday from 7.30pm-9pm. £5 aclass for 6 sessions. Beginners welcome. 140 Brighton Road, Purley.0208 763 2629• Dance: Belly DancingCome and join the fun every Tuesday.Classes are for women only andsuitable for all ages, sizes and levels ofability. Make sure you wearcomfortable clothing and bring a scarfto tie around your hips to really getyou in the mood!Open level - suitable for all 6pm-7.15pmIn depth class - suitable forexperienced dancers only: 7.30pm-8.45pm. £7 per class. Call Charlotte Desorgheron 01342 850423The Green Room, Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG.Box Office: 020 8688 9291www.fairfield.co.uk• Dance: CerocLearn to Ceroc every Tuesday in theArnhem Gallery. Ceroc is an excitingand stylish modern partner dancewhich can be performed to all types ofmusic. It’s very easy to pick up, nospecial clothes are required and youdon’t need to bring a partner as wemake sure everyone mixes together. Beginners: 8pm; Intermediate: 9pmFreestyle: 9.30pm-11pmMembership £2, Admission £6For further info tel: 020 8466 5030or visit: www.cerockent.comFairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR91DG. Box Office: 020 8688 9291www.fairfield.co.uk

• Quiz: The Builders ArmsGeneral knowledge quiz, always wellsupported, from 9pm.The Builders Arms• Quiz: The SandrockMusic/general knowledge quiz from8.30pm every Tuesday.The Sandrock, Upper Shirley Rd, Shirley,CR0. 020 8662 1931.• Quiz: The CrownFrom 8.30pm The Crown, 28 Wickham Road, Shirley,020 8662 7801• Quiz: Dog and Bullfrom 9ish. The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street,Croydon• Club: Beautiful PeopleBeautiful people is on every Tuesdaynight. This long running alternative nightcontinues to leap ahead having beenahead of the pack in the past playingnu-metal and screamo we are nowmoving into playing a majority of emo.Our recent celebrity visitors haveincluded My Chemical Romance (wewere first UK club to play them) andAlkaline trio alongside them wechampioned FalloutBoy and Panic at the Disco. Resident DJZoe Urchin also blends in ska (MadCaddies to Specials to Desmond Dekker)and punk ( Undertones to Afi to Greenday to Minor Threat) some new schoolrock (Trivium to Queens of stone age)and a pinch of hip hop and dance(Pendulum to Kano). Drinks deals are anunbeatable £2 for Jack daniels and coke,£1.50 for house spirits and two bottledbeers for £311pm-3am. £3 flyer/conc beforemidnight £5 after or otherwise all nighttheres a full listing, downlaodable flyer,photo gallery , Djs picks and links to ourmy space page www.wolfshead.co.ukMetro, Basement 19 Oxford StreetLondon W1, www.wolfshead.co.uk• Club: Common People The best indie night in your life! EVER!£1 entry before 10pm, £2 after, £1drinks till 11pm!Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233.www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Every Wednesday:• Market: Surrey StreetLondon’s oldest continuously runningmarket since 1276, with fruit and veg,bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food,all sorts. Monday - Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydonwww.surreystreetmarket.com• Event: Pool Competition NEW!The weekly pool competition returns tothe Oval, from 7pm. £2 in, cash prizes.The Oval Tavern, Oval Road, EastCroydon.

• Gay: Club Camp GAY night at the sheep with cabaret at11pm + electro, sleeze and cheese tilllate from Linton. Doors at 8pm, £5 after9pmwww.blacksheepbar.com/clubcamp.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233.www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Gay: Camp Bingo - NEWhosted by Miss Isla Blige. Starts 8pmwith various prizes. Happy Hour Drinkswhen you buy your books until the firstnumber is called.The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.net

Every Thursday:• Market: Surrey StreetLondon’s oldest continuously runningmarket since 1276, with fruit and veg,bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food,all sorts. Monday - Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydonwww.surreystreetmarket.com• Music: Live JazzEvery Thursday lunchtime from12.30pm. FREE! Cafe Opera, CroydonClocktower, Katharine Street, CR0. 0208253 1030.www.croydon.gov.uk/clocktower• Music: The New Delta Big BandFrom Ellington to Herman, big band jazzat its best! 8.15pm to 11pm. FREE!Every 1st and 3rd Thursday of themonth.The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road,Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286• Music: The Brian HetheringtonJazz Band Listen or jive to the authentic rythyms ofNew Orleans. 8.30pm-11pm. FREE!Every 2nd and 4th Thursday of the

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month.The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road,Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286• Music: Open Micat The Good Companions, HamseyGreen, South Croydon, every Thursday8.30 p.m. Musicians ( Guitarists orothers with any ‘reasonable’ instrument), Duo’s, Trios, Singers, welcome Tel:0208 6576655.wwwthegoodcompanions.com The Good Companions, Hamsey Green,South Croydon• Club: XplosiveThe Wolfshead alternative mafia try anew night at this poular South Londonbar known up until now for its danceevents just around the corner fromBrixton tube. Into its plush surroundingswill come DJ Zoe Urchin and guestscunningly blendingly together an eclecticromp through the alternative genrefeaturing indie (Arctics to White Stripes),emo, (My Chemical Romance to Panicat the Dsico), alternative rock ( Systemof a Down to Green Day), punk (Misfitsto Blink 182) ,ska ( Specials to Less thanjake)and alternative dance (Pendulum toKanye). Drinks deals are Jack daniels andcoke £2.50, house spirits and mixer£2.00 and 2 selected beers for £3.10pm- 3am£3 before midnight, £5 after less forstudents/flyers/members. flyer todownload at websitewww.wolfshead.co.ukTongue and Groove, 50 Atlantic RoadBrixton• Gay: DiscotekMidweek gay music club with worldclass music. Two rooms of music everyThursday with 'The Phunked Up Disco'in the lounge and pumping house vibesin the main room. Resident DJs Femi B,Jeffrey Hinton, Luke Hope, GuyWilliams, Paul Heron, Tom McMillan,plus international and UK guests.Weekly pre-party @ The Edge andCandy Bar (from 2100) The End, 18West Central St London WC1A 1JJ. 0207419 9199 www.endclub.com• Club: Rock NightSouth London’s biggest and best rocknight. Live music every Thursday from8-9.30. FREE before 10pm and mostdrinks are at happy hour prices till9pm...what more do you want?! Bandsare followed by DJ Tony X.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233.

www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Dance: Salsa De Cubawith Leo & Co. Classes from 8pmfollowed by club salsa until 1am.The Norbury Complex, 1300 LondonRoad, Croydon. 020 8679 0632.• Dance: Simply SalsaLearn to dance salsa every Thursday.Beginners welcome. No partner required.Classes from 7.30pm, club til midnight.Admission £7.00 class and club, £3.00club only. It’s fun and friendly, monthlySunday’s also!! For further [email protected] 07957 431216 or 07759 584591The Treehouse, South End, Croydon• Dance: Clog DancingFree taster sessions for newcomers to tryout some lively N.W. English clog teamdances - wear trainers or similarfootwear. Musicians with portableacoustic instruments always welcometoo. PLEASE CALL BEFORE HEADINGOUT, as some Thursdays this night is noton. 8.30 pm. FREE! Call 020 86545211/020 8657 4056 (eves.) for detailsUnited Reformed Church Hall, cornerEnmore/Cobden Road, S. Norwood• Dance: Morris DancingNorth Wood Morris Men are teachingMen's Morris to complete beginners onThursday evenings at the Scout Hut inPurley Park Road at 8.15 pm andnewcomers are welcome(first call 020 8668 1830) seewww.northwoodmorris.org.uk• Dance: Soca / CalypsoBeginners welcome and rum punchserved! The Newton Arms, 175 QueensRoad, Croydon, 020 8684 7654• Dance: The South East LondonLindy Hop Club Come and learn to dance Lindy Hop(Jitterbug) like they did in the 1940's.No partner required and Caron andSteve specialise in helping those withtwo left feet get together with thosewith two right.Doors open 7.30pmBeginners Class 7.45pmIntermediate Class 8.30pmFreestyle (practice) 9.15pmThe Royston Club, 85 Royston RoadPenge, London, SE20 7QWwww.52ndstreetjump.co.uk• Karaoke: Arkwrights WheelAll together now... Arkwrights Wheel,151 North End, CR0. 020 8649 8638.

• Karaoke: Selhurst ArmsThursday night would appear to bekaraoke night bleedin’ everywhere...From 8pm. Selhurst Arms, Selhurst Rd, SE25.• Quiz: Purley ArmsQuiz-a-rama, every Thursday from8.30pm, £1 in for cash prizes + othergoodies. Purley Arms, 345 BrightonRoad, South Croydon, 020 8686 3792• Quiz: CricketersGeneral knowlegde quiz with £50 prize.The Cricketers, 47 Shirley Rd, CR0 7ER020 8655 3507• Music: BoulevardLive music while you eat. Boulevard, 7-8Ruskin Parade, Selsdon Road, SouthCroydon. 020 8649 9990.• Music: Open MicQuiz Night at The Good Companions 8.00 p.m. ww.thegoodcompanions.comLimpsfield Road, South Croydon0208 657 6655• Quiz: The ValleyFrom 9.00pm Mike K’s generalknowledge quizThe Valley, 76 Croydon Road, Caterham

Every Friday:• Market: Surrey StreetLondon’s oldest continuously runningmarket since 1276, with fruit and veg,bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food,all sorts. Monday - Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydonwww.surreystreetmarket.com• Photography: Camera ClubCamera Club meeting in West Croydonevery Friday night welcomes visitors andnew members. Full programme ofevents including print/slide talks, portraitevenings, competitions, etc.Ample parking.Contact Colin on 020 8665 1678. Visitwww.thorntonheathcameraclub.co.uk• Club: DJ Night Every Friday.Pistols, Brighton Road, Coulsdon• Club: UpstairsDJ's including Louis from Choice FM.Drink promotion from 9pm - 11pm withall house spirits £2. The only club inCroydon licensed until 3am. Entry £3before 11pm and £5 after. Free entry todiners of the restaurant. Guest list andvenue hire available, please contact 0208688 9837 for details.www.treehousepeople.comUpstairs, above Treehouse restaurant

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78 South End, CR0020 8688 9837• Music: DJ Party NightThe Newton Arms, 175 Queens Road,Croydon, 020 8684 7654• Karaoke: Karaoke MadnessSingalong fun with Jerry Baker & Co inthe bar from 9pm.The Norbury, The Norbury Complex,1300 London Road, Croydon. 020 8679 0632.• Club: Club Zonefollowing on from Karaoke Madness isClub Zone @ The Edge Nightclubplaying club & party classics with guestDJs, open til 3am. The Edge Nightclub,The Norbury Complex, 1300 LondonRoad, Croydon. 020 8679 0632.• Club: Dj Steve Mapp in themain room Dj Mark B in SurfersAll Drinks £1.50 5pm to 9pmDress code: Smart casual.Walkabout, Crown Hill, Croydon• Karaoke: Forestdale ArmsFeatherbed Lane, CR0. 020 8651 1260.• Karaoke: Swan & SugarloafSwan and Sugarloaf, 1 Brighton Rd,CR0. 020 8686 2562• Karaoke: The NorburyFrom 9pm. The Norbury Complex, 1300London Road, Croydon. 020 8679 0632.• Music: Alma TavernLive music. Alma Tavern, 129 LwrAddiscombe Rd, CR0. 020 8654 5842.• Music: Jolly FarmersLive music every FridayJolly Farmers, 7 High Street, Purley (onPurley Cross) 020 8660 2076• Singles: Swan & SugarloafOver 30 single’s night in the functionroom. Swan and Sugarloaf, 1 BrightonRd, CR0. 020 8686 2562• Music: Mama K’s Blues BarMama K's blues bar, run by localblues/rock musicians, open jam from 8pm, full backline provided. Main band10pm. Licensed bar. £2 entry. Ruskin House,Coombe Road, CRO. 020 8661 0183

Every Saturday:• Market: Surrey StreetLondon’s oldest continuously runningmarket since 1276, with fruit and veg,bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food,all sorts. Monday - Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydonwww.surreystreetmarket.com

• Dance: Bollywood Groove &BhangraFunky and energetic dance class.Beginners and improvers welcome.Come along and bring your friends.From 12.30pm – 1.30pm. £5 a class.Free parking available. Ground Floor, Dance & Drama StudioArchbishop Lanfranc, Croydon,Surrey, CR9 3AS.Tel: 020 8776 1717 or 07932 530 370• Games: Pool CompetitionFrom 3pm. Old Derby, 44 Pitlake, CR0. 020 8688 5674.

• Games: Pool / DominoTournamentsin the afternoon - call for more details.The Newton Arms, 175 Queens Road,Croydon, 020 8684 7654• Music: DJ Party NightThe Newton Arms, 175 Queens Road,Croydon, 020 8684 7654• Music: Jolly FarmersLive music every SaturdayJolly Farmers, 7 High Street, Purley (onPurley Cross) 020 8660 2076• Club: Saturday Night WithLinton and Friends A plethora of musical carnage from thebeast of butch and his followers…Dance floor fillers, cheese and sleaze.Open til stupid-o’clock in the morning.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233.www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Club: The Big DoubleClassic hits in the bar from 9pmfollowed by guest acts and DJs at TheEdge, open til 3am. The Norbury & TheEdge Nightclub. The Norbury Complex, 1300 LondonRoad, Croydon. 020 8679 0632• Club: Dj Andy B in the mainroom & Dj Randy T in surfersAll drinks £1.50 7pm to 9pmDress code: Smart casual.Walkabout, Crown Hill, Croydon• Club: UpstairsSee ‘Every Friday’ for full details.Upstairs, above Treehouse restaurant78 South End, CR0, 020 8688 9837• Music: Live Music - NEWEvery Saturday.Pistols, Brighton Road, Coulsdon

Every Sunday:• Music: Open MicAcoustic ‘ Open Mike’ night at The JollyFarmers, Purley, every Sunday 8.45 p.m.Tel: 0208 6602076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk The Jolly Farmers, on ‘Purley Cross’,Purley• Quiz: Good CompanionsQuiz Night at The Good Companions 8.00 p.m.www.thegoodcompanions.comLimpsfield Road, South Croydon0208 657 6655• Music: Open MicAll welcome! The Newton Arms, 175Queens Road, Croydon, 020 8684 7654• Karaoke: Karaoke MadnessWith Jacko and Co + DJ in the bar til1am. The Norbury Complex, 1300London Road, Croydon. 020 8679 0632• Club: Disco GoldUntil 1am. FREE! before 10pm.The Edge Nightclub. The NorburyComplex, 1300 London Road, Croydon.020 8679 0632• Club: Croydon BackgammonClubSundays from 8PM.Ruskin House, Coombe Road, Croydon• Quiz: Forestdale ArmsWeekly music quiz. Forestdale Arms,Featherbed Lane, CR0. 020 8651 1260• Quiz: The CrownFrom 8.30pm The Crown, 28 WickhamRoad, Shirley, 020 8662 7801• Quiz: The Rail View Every Sunday from 8.30pm.The Rail View188 Selsdon Rd, CR2020 8688 2315• Quiz: The Kenley HotelFrom 9.00pm Mike K’s generalknowledge quizThe Kenley Hotel, 68, Godstone Road,Kenley CR8 5AA• Music: Live New Orleans JazzEvery Sunday 12.30 - 2.30pm at TheLord Napier Jazz Pub. Entry £2, dancefloor, raffle, great atmosphere at one ofthe longest running Jazz Pubs in GreatBritainThe Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road,Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286

Got something going on? Let us know -

e-mail: [email protected]

what’s on

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Sunday 01February 2009• Music: Live New Orleans JazzEvery Sunday 12.30 - 2.30pm at TheLord Napier Jazz Pub. Entry £2, dancefloor, raffle, great atmosphere at one ofthe longest running Jazz Pubs in GreatBritain The Lord Napier, 111 BeulahRoad, Thornton Heath. 020 8653 2286• Music: Dave Briggs BandRunning man with Scotty Moore bringshis rocking blues to the Oval.Live blues every Sunday and Thursday - Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023www.ovaltavern.co.uk• Music: Live JazzLunchtime Jazz - act tbc, 1pm start.FREE! www.jazznet.co.ukThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Quiz: Wheelwright’s ArmsFrom 8pm. Wheelwright’s Arms,126 Southbridge Road,Croydon, CR0 1AF• Quiz: Two BrewersFun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm.Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon, 020 8684 3544• Music: Open Mic SundaysLive music every SundayThe Brief, George Street, Croydonwww.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon• Music: Open Mic The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road,Purley, CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Music: Open MicJam evening, acoustic open mic. Allwelcome..The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street,Croydon• Event: Whitechapel’s Trail OfTerrorJack the Ripper Walk from our friendCreepy Chambers. 6pm outside theBlind Beggar pub in Whitechapel. £5 (£3conc.) For more info visitwww.myspace.com/whitechapelstrailofterroror [email protected]• Theatre: A Midsummer Night’sDreamRoyal Shakespeare Company. From 15thJan - 7 Feb. Booking line:

0844 482 5135. www.rsc.org.ukThe Novello Theatre, Aldwych, London, WC2B 4LD

Mon 02• Music: Croydon Jazz BandBig band jazz - 1st Monday of everymonth Botley Hill Farmhouse,Limpsfield Road, Warlingham Surrey,CR6 9QH. Phone: 01959 577154email: [email protected]• Music: The Big Beer BandLive big-band music. Every Mondayfrom 9ish. FREE!The Brief, George Street, Croydonwww.myspace.com/the_briefwww.bigbeerband.org• Gay: The Big Fun Gay QuizNightfun and general knowledge quiz.Questions from all categories, gamesthat everyone can enjoy. Start the weekoff with a bang! Starts 8pmThe Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.net• Club: Monday Club half price drinks until 12pm, with musicfrom The Katie and Alex Show. Doors7pm, free before 10pm.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233.www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Club: Blue MondaysFree Pool all day or all night if you worklocally in Croydon* Every Monday all ofour members who work in Croydon, canenjoy the pleasure of free pool all day &night, so long as you buy a minimum oftwo drinks from the bar. It's as simple asthat! So if you feel the itch to play aframe, but not to feel it in your pocket,get down to Loop on Mondays!* How to claim your free pool onMondays - Free pool if you work inCroydon and buy 2 drinks. If you workin Croydon and are a member of LoopLounge, bring down a payslip or similarproof of where you work. Then buy aminimum of two drinks from the barand you can play pool for all day or allevening at Loop Lounge. If you are nota member you can join up at receptionfree of charge if you bring some IDalong. More about free membership..Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com

• Theatre: A Midsummer Night’sDreamRoyal Shakespeare Company. From 15thJan - 7 Feb. Booking line: 0844 482 5135. www.rsc.org.ukThe Novello Theatre, Aldwych, London, WC2B 4LD

Tue 03• Event: Anna’s Cocktail NightThe Oval does kitsch! Great housecocktail menu complete with twiglets onthe bar. Watch out for Djs and guest livemusic slots.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023www.ovaltavern.co.uk• Quiz: The Dog and BullFrom 9pm-ish, a quiz, a game of playyour cards right and a sing-song.Mental. 50p in including sarnies.See article, April issue.The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street,Croydon• Games: Poker NightEvery TuesdayWalkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown HillChurch street, Surrey, CR0 1RZTel: 0208 680 5559www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydonwww.walkabout.eu.com• Club: Common People cheap drinks till 11pm with pure Indieand dancefloor tunes from The Spiv's.Doors 7pm, £1 entry.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233.www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Club: Cocktail TuesdaysEvery Tuesday night Loop gives ourmembers and guests a opportunity tosample our new range of cocktails. If thecocktails get their seal of approval wegladly introduce them onto our existingcocktail list. Buy two cocktails for only£6, with this fabulous offer. Come ondown every Tuesday and go cocktailcrazy!.Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com• Pool: Pool Competitiondownstairs. 8pm startThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Theatre: A Midsummer Night’sDreamRoyal Shakespeare Company. From 15th

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Jan - 7 Feb. Booking line: 0844 482 5135. www.rsc.org.ukThe Novello Theatre, Aldwych, London, WC2B 4LD

Wed 04• Music: Zag and the ColouredBeadsUpstairs - FREE!The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Pool: Oval Pool CompetitionEvery Wednesday from 19.30 hrs.Balls and banter - a textbook night inthe pub. £2 to enter, with cash prizes.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023www.ovaltavern.co.uk• Music: Guitar-OffCome and watch a load of would-beSteve Vai’s twang their six-strings in thehope of swaggering off with the grandprize. 8pm. FREE entry.The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/theshipofcroydon• Dance: DancerciseKeep fit and meet new people at thisfun and friendly beginners dance class.Come and join the fun every

Wednesday. 7.30pm. £3.50.Central Court, Croydon Clocktower,Katharine Street, Croydon www.croydonclocktower.org.uk• Quiz: The EdgeWeekly quiz: gen knowledge / music /sport / missing link / mystery year. £50bar tab to the winner. 8pm. £1 per person entryThe Edge, 1 South End, Croydon• Club: 2 Hours Free PoolMembers-only offer. If you are amember of Loop Lounge and spendmore than £8 on drinks at the bar youwill receive two hours of pool for free.If you are not already a member,membership is free but must be appliedfor in advance. Admission Midday untilmidnight Free admissionLoop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com• Gay: Camp Bingohosted by Miss Isla Blige – drinks atHappy Hour Prices from when you buyyour books until the first number iscalled.The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.net• Dance: Salsa LessonsEvery Wednesday from 8pm. £3.

The Brief, George Street, Croydonwww.myspace.com/the_brief• Theatre: A Midsummer Night’sDreamRoyal Shakespeare Company. From 15thJan - 7 Feb. Booking line: 0844 482 5135. www.rsc.org.ukThe Novello Theatre, Aldwych, London, WC2B 4LD

Thu 05• Music: Roland ChadwickThe antipodean classical ace goes downhome with an effective Delta andflamenco fusion - and a bit of banterthrown in.Live blues every Sunday and Thursday - Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023www.ovaltavern.co.ukwww.rolandchadwick.com• Music: The New Delta Big BandFrom Ellington to Herman, big band jazzat its best! 8.15pm to 11pm. FREE!Every 1st and 3rd Thursday of themonth.The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road,Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286• Quiz: Two BrewersFun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm.Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon, 020 8684 3544• Quiz: JF Big QuizFrom 8pm.The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Quiz: Crown and SceptreFun general knowledge quiz. EveryThursday from 9pm.Crown and Sceptre, 32 Junction Road,South Croydon, 020 8688 8037• Music: Pistols at DawnWinners of the recent Battle of theBands. 8pm. FREE entry.The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/theshipofcroydon• Club: ALT X South London's biggest rock and metalnight with DJ Tony X. Doors 7pm, freebefore 10pm www.blacksheepbar.com/thursdayBlack Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233.www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

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• Theatre: A Midsummer Night’sDreamRoyal Shakespeare Company. From 15thJan - 7 Feb. Booking line: 0844 482 5135. www.rsc.org.ukThe Novello Theatre, Aldwych, London, WC2B 4LD

Fri 06• Poetry: Poets AnonymousNew Year’s Resolution - Friday Poetry atthe Dog and Bull, Surrey Street,Croydon, Surrey. Floor spots. From8pm. £2 waged, £1 unwaged. ContactPeter for further details;[email protected],

020 8645 9956• Music: Friday DJsThe regular Oval faves, plus guests,keeping Fridays funky.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023www.ovaltavern.co.uk• Karaoke: Wheelwright’s ArmsFrom 8.30pm every Friday night.Wheelwright’s Arms,126 Southbridge Road,Croydon, CR0 1AF• Club: WTF with DJ Zoe Urchin serving up the bestIndie, Pop and Alternative all night long.guitar party night playing a wide rangeof music crossing genres and time lines :from cutting edge new stuff like MGMT,Vampire Weekend via indie superstarsStone Roses, Primal Scream throughelectro like Justice, Does It Offend YouYeah and Pendulum to more well knownretro guitar stars like Blondie, Buzzcocks,Specials, Beatles and alternative rocktunes like Biffy Clyro, Foo Fighters andFallout boy.Doors 7pm, free entry before 10pm.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233.www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Comedy: Croydon Comedy ClubLive stand-up at the Fairfield, everyfortnight. 8.30pm - £9.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon,020 8688 9291www.fairfield.co.uk• Theatre: A Midsummer Night’sDreamRoyal Shakespeare Company. From 15thJan - 7 Feb. Booking line: 0844 482 5135. www.rsc.org.ukThe Novello Theatre,

Aldwych, London, WC2B 4LD

Sat 07• CHARITY: Rock For CLICAn all dayer of Rock music at The Briefwith 2 stages and some great bandsDoors 1pm till lateEntry £6 all proceeds go to the CLICSargent charityBands include 23 Enigma, Shivery, TheLoudness, Kitty Lipps and many more!Great prizes to be had including a JackDaniel's Fender Guitar.For more info visitwww.myspace.com/franticpromotions orcall 07766 294855The Brief, George Street, Croydonwww.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon• Music: DJ Rob Delta1st Saturday of the month. Funk, blues,soul and psychedelia.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023www.ovaltavern.co.uk• Club: DJ LInton Dance bombs. Funk Rockets. Beat-seeking missiles. Never outgunnedThe biggest dancefloor monsters from DJ LINTONBecause it's war on the dancefloor.

Doors 7pm, £5 after 10pmBlack Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233.www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Music: Live Rock BandsEvery SaturdayThe Gun Tavern, Crown Hill, Croydon• Music: Live Rock BandsEvery SaturdayPortmanor, Portland Road, SouthNorwood, SE25 4UF• Music: DJ NightPantera Gary and Steve The Ears present“Fear and Loathing in the Ship”. Notfor the fainthearted. 8pm. FREE entry.The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/theshipofcroydon• Theatre: A Midsummer Night’sDreamRoyal Shakespeare Company. From 15thJan - 7 Feb. Booking line: 0844 482 5135. www.rsc.org.ukThe Novello Theatre, Aldwych, London, WC2B 4LD

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what’s on

Sun 08• Music: Live New Orleans JazzEvery Sunday 12.30 - 2.30pm at TheLord Napier Jazz Pub. Entry £2, dancefloor, raffle, great atmosphere at one ofthe longest running Jazz Pubs in GreatBritain The Lord Napier, 111 BeulahRoad, Thornton Heath. 020 8653 2286• Music: Paul Lamb’s Easy RidersAcknowledged UK harp maestro comesblowing into the Oval - with a KingSnake or two (Ryan and Chad).Live blues every Sunday and Thursday - Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023www.ovaltavern.co.ukwww.paullamb.com• Music: Live JazzLunchtime Jazz - act tbc, 1pm start.FREE! www.jazznet.co.ukThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Quiz: Wheelwright’s ArmsFrom 8pm. Wheelwright’s Arms,126 Southbridge Road,Croydon, CR0 1AF• Quiz: Two Brewers

Fun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm.Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon, 020 8684 3544• Music: Open Mic SundaysLive music every SundayThe Brief, George Street, Croydonwww.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon• Music: Open Mic The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road,Purley, CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Music: Open MicJam evening, acoustic open mic. Allwelcome..The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street,Croydon

Mon 09• Music: The Big Beer BandLive big-band music. Every Mondayfrom 9ish. FREE!The Brief, George Street, Croydonwww.myspace.com/the_briefwww.bigbeerband.org• Gay: The Big Fun Gay QuizNightfun and general knowledge quiz.Questions from all categories, gamesthat everyone can enjoy. Start the weekoff with a bang! Starts 8pm

The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.net• Club: Monday Club half price drinks until 12pm, with musicfrom The Katie and Alex Show. Doors7pm, free before 10pm.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233.www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Club: Blue MondaysFree Pool all day or all night if you worklocally in Croydon* Every Monday all ofour members who work in Croydon, canenjoy the pleasure of free pool all day &night, so long as you buy a minimum oftwo drinks from the bar. It's as simple asthat! So if you feel the itch to play aframe, but not to feel it in your pocket,get down to Loop on Mondays!* How to claim your free pool onMondays - Free pool if you work inCroydon and buy 2 drinks. If you workin Croydon and are a member of LoopLounge, bring down a payslip or similarproof of where you work. Then buy aminimum of two drinks from the barand you can play pool for all day or allevening at Loop Lounge. If you are nota member you can join up at receptionfree of charge if you bring some IDalong. More about free membership..Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com

Tue 10• Music: Open Mic NightSimon's blues and acoustic open OpenMic nights. We let you entertain us!From 8.30pm. FREE!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023www.ovaltavern.co.uk• Quiz: The Dog and BullFrom 9pm-ish, a quiz, a game of playyour cards right and a sing-song.Mental. 50p in including sarnies.See article, April issue.The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street,Croydon• Games: Poker NightEvery TuesdayWalkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown HillChurch street, Surrey, CR0 1RZTel: 0208 680 5559www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydonwww.walkabout.eu.com

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Page 29: Deep-London February 09

• Club: Common People cheap drinks till 11pm with pure Indieand dancefloor tunes from The Spiv's.Doors 7pm, £1 entry.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233.www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Club: Cocktail TuesdaysEvery Tuesday night Loop gives ourmembers and guests a opportunity tosample our new range of cocktails. If thecocktails get their seal of approval wegladly introduce them onto our existingcocktail list. Buy two cocktails for only£6, with this fabulous offer. Come ondown every Tuesday and go cocktailcrazy!.Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com• Pool: Pool Competitiondownstairs. 8pm startThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub

Wed 11• Pool: Oval Pool CompetitionEvery Wednesday from 19.30 hrs.Balls and banter - a textbook night inthe pub. £2 to enter, with cash prizes.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023www.ovaltavern.co.uk• Music: Bad SignLive music. 8pm. FREE entry.The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/theshipofcroydon• Dance: DancerciseKeep fit and meet new people at thisfun and friendly beginners dance class.Come and join the fun everyWednesday. 7.30pm. £3.50.Central Court, Croydon Clocktower,Katharine Street, Croydon www.croydonclocktower.org.uk• Quiz: The EdgeWeekly quiz: gen knowledge / music /sport / missing link / mystery year. £50bar tab to the winner. 8pm. £1 per person entryThe Edge, 1 South End, Croydon• Club: 2 Hours Free PoolMembers-only offer. If you are amember of Loop Lounge and spendmore than £8 on drinks at the bar youwill receive two hours of pool for free.If you are not already a member,membership is free but must be applied

for in advance. Admission Midday untilmidnight Free admissionLoop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com• Gay: Camp Bingohosted by Miss Isla Blige – drinks atHappy Hour Prices from when you buyyour books until the first number iscalled.The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.net• Dance: Salsa Lessons

Every Wednesday from 8pm. £3.The Brief, George Street, Croydonwww.myspace.com/the_brief

Thu 12• Music: Dave Peabody and ColinEarlClass guitar and piano duo, featuringfounder member of Mungo Jerry on theivories. Yer know: witty too.Live blues every Sunday and Thursday - Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and

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what’s on 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023www.ovaltavern.co.uk• Music: The Brian HetheringtonJazz Band Listen or jive to the authentic rythyms ofNew Orleans. 8.30pm-11pm. FREE!Every 2nd and 4th Thursday of themonth.The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road,Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286• Quiz: Two BrewersFun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm.Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon, 020 8684 3544• Quiz: JF Big QuizFrom 8pm.The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Quiz: Crown and SceptreFun general knowledge quiz. EveryThursday from 9pm.Crown and Sceptre, 32 Junction Road,South Croydon, 020 8688 8037• Club: ALT X South London's biggest rock and metalnight with DJ Tony X. Doors 7pm, freebefore 10pm www.blacksheepbar.com/thursdayBlack Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233.www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Fri 13• OooOOH!• Music: Bash The Bishop’sValentine’s SpecialSwoon to the romantic sounds of deejayheartthrobs JONNNY BOLAX, KAPTKWIRK, BISHOP OF KROYDON &SPECIAL GUESTS. WE DO ACCEPTLOVE VOUCHERS. *pm -midnight.FREE entry.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023www.ovaltavern.co.uk• Karaoke: Wheelwright’s ArmsFrom 8.30pm every Friday night.Wheelwright’s Arms,126 Southbridge Road,Croydon, CR0 1AF• Event: Whitechapel’s Trail OfTerrorJack the Ripper Walk from our friendCreepy Chambers. 6pm outside theBlind Beggar pub in Whitechapel. £5 (£3

conc.) For more info visitwww.myspace.com/whitechapelstrailofterroror [email protected]• Club: WTF with DJ Zoe Urchin serving up the bestIndie, Pop and Alternative all night long.guitar party night playing a wide rangeof music crossing genres and time lines :from cutting edge new stuff like MGMT,Vampire Weekend via indie superstarsStone Roses, Primal Scream throughelectro like Justice, Does It Offend YouYeah and Pendulum to more well knownretro guitar stars like Blondie, Buzzcocks,Specials, Beatles and alternative rocktunes like Biffy Clyro, Foo Fighters andFallout boy.Doors 7pm, free entry before 10pm.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233.www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Sat 14• Event: Valentine’s DayYeah, whatever... • Poetry: Poets AnonymousSaturday Poetry in the Primary Room,United Reformed Church, AddiscombeGrove, Croydon, Surrey. 2.30-4.00pm.£1.50. Bring your poetry to read andshare. Contact Peter for further details;[email protected],

020 8645 9956• Party: DJ LInton Valentine’s Special. Dance bombs. FunkRockets. Beat-seeking missiles. NeveroutgunnedThe biggest dancefloor monsters from DJ LINTONBecause it's war on the dancefloor.Doors 7pm, £5 after 10pmBlack Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233.www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Party: Valentine’s NightDJ Justified Egomaniac brings his usualSaturday cocktail of alternative rock,metal and punk and adds a dash of love,2 measures of hate and six drops ofangostura bitters. 8pm. FREE entry.The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/theshipofcroydon• Party: Anti-Valentine’sDetails tbc.The Green Dragon,

58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Event: Speed-Datingdetails tbc, please visit the pub for moreinfo.The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street,Croydon• Party: Black and White Ball Single? Hate Valentines Day? Fed upwith mushy couples? Or just all LOVEDup and want somewhere to party......Then come and party with the sexiestcrowd in South London! 8pm - 2am.Walkabout, Crown Hill Croydon

Sun 15• Music: Live New Orleans JazzEvery Sunday 12.30 - 2.30pm at TheLord Napier Jazz Pub. Entry £2, dancefloor, raffle, great atmosphere at one ofthe longest running Jazz Pubs in GreatBritain The Lord Napier, 111 BeulahRoad, Thornton Heath. 020 8653 2286• Music: David Raphael BandExpect meaty harp-driven Chicagosounds from another Oval debutant.Live blues every Sunday and Thursday - Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023www.ovaltavern.co.ukwww.davidraphael.co.uk• Music: Live JazzLunchtime Jazz - act tbc, 1pm start.FREE! www.jazznet.co.ukThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Quiz: Wheelwright’s ArmsFrom 8pm. Wheelwright’s Arms,126 Southbridge Road,Croydon, CR0 1AF• Quiz: Two BrewersFun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm.Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon, 020 8684 3544• Music: Open Mic SundaysLive music every SundayThe Brief, George Street, Croydonwww.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon• Music: Open Mic The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road,Purley, CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Music: Open MicJam evening, acoustic open mic. Allwelcome.. The Dog and Bull, SurreyStreet, Croydon

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what’s on

Mon 16• Music: The Big Beer BandLive big-band music. Every Mondayfrom 9ish. FREE!The Brief, George Street, Croydonwww.myspace.com/the_briefwww.bigbeerband.org• Gay: The Big Fun Gay QuizNightfun and general knowledge quiz.Questions from all categories, gamesthat everyone can enjoy. Start the weekoff with a bang! Starts 8pmThe Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.net• Club: Monday Club half price drinks until 12pm, with musicfrom The Katie and Alex Show. Doors7pm, free before 10pm.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233.www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Club: Blue MondaysFree Pool all day or all night if you worklocally in Croydon* Every Monday all ofour members who work in Croydon, canenjoy the pleasure of free pool all day &night, so long as you buy a minimum oftwo drinks from the bar. It's as simple asthat! So if you feel the itch to play aframe, but not to feel it in your pocket,get down to Loop on Mondays!* How to claim your free pool onMondays - Free pool if you work inCroydon and buy 2 drinks. If you workin Croydon and are a member of LoopLounge, bring down a payslip or similarproof of where you work. Then buy aminimum of two drinks from the barand you can play pool for all day or allevening at Loop Lounge. If you are nota member you can join up at receptionfree of charge if you bring some IDalong. More about free membership..Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com

Tue 17• Event: Anna’s Cocktail NightThe Oval does kitsch! Great housecocktail menu complete with twiglets onthe bar. Watch out for Djs and guest livemusic slots. The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023www.ovaltavern.co.uk• Quiz: The Dog and Bull

From 9pm-ish, a quiz, a game of playyour cards right and a sing-song.Mental. 50p in including sarnies.See article, April issue.The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street,Croydon• Games: Poker NightEvery TuesdayWalkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown HillChurch street, Surrey, CR0 1RZTel: 0208 680 5559www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydonwww.walkabout.eu.com• Club: Common People cheap drinks till 11pm with pure Indieand dancefloor tunes from The Spiv's.Doors 7pm, £1 entry.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233.www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Club: Cocktail TuesdaysEvery Tuesday night Loop gives ourmembers and guests a opportunity tosample our new range of cocktails. If thecocktails get their seal of approval wegladly introduce them onto our existingcocktail list. Buy two cocktails for only£6, with this fabulous offer. Come ondown every Tuesday and go cocktailcrazy!.Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com• Pool: Pool Competitiondownstairs. 8pm startThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub

Wed 18• Pool: Oval Pool CompetitionEvery Wednesday from 19.30 hrs.Balls and banter - a textbook night inthe pub. £2 to enter, with cash prizes.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023www.ovaltavern.co.uk• Dance: DancerciseKeep fit and meet new people at thisfun and friendly beginners dance class.Come and join the fun everyWednesday. 7.30pm. £3.50.Central Court, Croydon Clocktower,Katharine Street, Croydon www.croydonclocktower.org.uk• Quiz: The EdgeWeekly quiz: gen knowledge / music /sport / missing link / mystery year. £50bar tab to the winner.

8pm. £1 per person entryThe Edge, 1 South End, Croydon• Club: 2 Hours Free PoolMembers-only offer. If you are amember of Loop Lounge and spendmore than £8 on drinks at the bar youwill receive two hours of pool for free.If you are not already a member,membership is free but must be appliedfor in advance. Admission Midday untilmidnight Free admissionLoop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com• Gay: Camp Bingohosted by Miss Isla Blige – drinks atHappy Hour Prices from when you buyyour books until the first number iscalled.The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.net• Dance: Salsa LessonsEvery Wednesday from 8pm. £3.The Brief, George Street, Croydonwww.myspace.com/the_brief

Thu 19• Music: Shakey Vic BandHarp veteran Graham Vickery and hisblues crew knock out rough, ready androcking Chicago sounds.Live blues every Sunday and Thursday - Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023www.ovaltavern.co.ukhttp://shakeyvick.com• Event: Wine Tasting7.30pm - 9.30pm. Taste 10 differentwines have a light snack all for £15 perperson. For more info visitwww.halfandhalf.uk.comHalf and Half Lounge Bar,282 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NG020 8726 0080 • Music: The New Delta Big BandFrom Ellington to Herman, big band jazzat its best! 8.15pm to 11pm. FREE!Every 1st and 3rd Thursday of themonth.The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road,Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286• Quiz: Two BrewersFun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm.Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon, 020 8684 3544• Quiz: JF Big QuizFrom 8pm.

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what’s on The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Quiz: Crown and SceptreFun general knowledge quiz. EveryThursday from 9pm.Crown and Sceptre, 32 Junction Road,South Croydon, 020 8688 8037• Club: ALT X South London's biggest rock and metalnight with DJ Tony X. Doors 7pm, freebefore 10pm www.blacksheepbar.com/thursdayBlack Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233.www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Fri 20• Music: Friday DJsThe regular Oval faves, plus guests,keeping Fridays funky.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023www.ovaltavern.co.uk• Karaoke: Wheelwright’s ArmsFrom 8.30pm every Friday night.Wheelwright’s Arms,126 Southbridge Road,Croydon, CR0 1AF• Music: Hellfire FestivalA 3 day metal fest with 2 stages andfeaturing bands such as Overkill,Exodus, Gama Bomb, Annotations of anAutopsy, Malefice, Ted Maul, Firewind,Godsized and many moreFor information on ticket prices and thefull line up visit www.hellfirefestival.comor www.myspace.com/franticpromotionsSEE YOU IN THE PIT!Carling Academy Islington• Club: WTF with DJ Zoe Urchin serving up the bestIndie, Pop and Alternative all night long.guitar party night playing a wide rangeof music crossing genres and time lines :from cutting edge new stuff like MGMT,Vampire Weekend via indie superstarsStone Roses, Primal Scream throughelectro like Justice, Does It Offend YouYeah and Pendulum to more well knownretro guitar stars like Blondie, Buzzcocks,Specials, Beatles and alternative rocktunes like Biffy Clyro, Foo Fighters andFallout boy.Doors 7pm, free entry before 10pm.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233.www.blacksheepbar.com

www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Comedy: Croydon Comedy ClubLive stand-up at the Fairfield, everyfortnight. 8.30pm - £9.Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon,020 8688 9291www.fairfield.co.uk

Sat 21• Club: DJ LInton Dance bombs. Funk Rockets. Beat-seeking missiles. Never outgunnedThe biggest dancefloor monsters from DJ LINTONBecause it's war on the dancefloor.Doors 7pm, £5 after 10pmBlack Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233.www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Music: Live Rock BandsEvery SaturdayThe Gun Tavern, Crown Hill, Croydon• Music: Hellfire FestivalA 3 day metal fest with 2 stages andfeaturing bands such as Overkill,Exodus, Gama Bomb, Annotations of anAutopsy, Malefice, Ted Maul, Firewind,Godsized and many moreFor information on ticket prices and thefull line up visit www.hellfirefestival.comor www.myspace.com/franticpromotionsSEE YOU IN THE PIT!Carling Academy Islington

Sun 22• Music: Live New Orleans JazzEvery Sunday 12.30 - 2.30pm at TheLord Napier Jazz Pub. Entry £2, dancefloor, raffle, great atmosphere at one ofthe longest running Jazz Pubs in GreatBritain The Lord Napier, 111 BeulahRoad, Thornton Heath. 020 8653 2286• Music: The RazersSteve Matthews's powerful all-star lineup returns with innovation and soul.Featuring Neil Crowley.Live blues every Sunday and Thursday - Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023www.ovaltavern.co.ukwww.razers.org• Music: Hellfire FestivalA 3 day metal fest with 2 stages andfeaturing bands such as Overkill,Exodus, Gama Bomb, Annotations of an

Autopsy, Malefice, Ted Maul, Firewind,Godsized and many moreFor information on ticket prices and thefull line up visit www.hellfirefestival.comor www.myspace.com/franticpromotionsSEE YOU IN THE PIT!Carling Academy Islington

Mon 23• Music: The Big Beer BandLive big-band music. Every Mondayfrom 9ish. FREE!The Brief, George Street, Croydonwww.myspace.com/the_briefwww.bigbeerband.org• Club: Monday Club half price drinks until 12pm, with musicfrom The Katie and Alex Show. Doors7pm, free before 10pm.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233.www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Gay: The Big Fun Gay QuizNightfun and general knowledge quiz.Questions from all categories, gamesthat everyone can enjoy. Start the weekoff with a bang! Starts 8pmThe Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.net

Tue 24• Music: Open Mic NightSimon's blues and acoustic open OpenMic nights. We let you entertain us!From 8.30pm. FREE!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023www.ovaltavern.co.uk• Quiz: The Dog and BullFrom 9pm-ish, a quiz, a game of playyour cards right and a sing-song.Mental. 50p in including sarnies.See article, April issue.The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street,Croydon• Games: Poker NightEvery TuesdayWalkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown HillChurch street, Surrey, CR0 1RZTel: 0208 680 5559www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydonwww.walkabout.eu.com• Club: Common People cheap drinks till 11pm with pure Indieand dancefloor tunes from The Spiv's.

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what’s on Doors 7pm, £1 entry.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233.www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Pool: Pool Competitiondownstairs. 8pm startThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub

Wed 25• Pool: Oval Pool CompetitionEvery Wednesday from 19.30 hrs.Balls and banter - a textbook night inthe pub. £2 to enter, with cash prizes.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023www.ovaltavern.co.uk• Dance: DancerciseKeep fit and meet new people at thisfun and friendly beginners dance class.Come and join the fun everyWednesday. 7.30pm. £3.50.Central Court, Croydon Clocktower,Katharine Street, Croydon www.croydonclocktower.org.uk• Quiz: The EdgeWeekly quiz: gen knowledge / music /sport / missing link / mystery year. £50bar tab to the winner. 8pm. £1 per person entryThe Edge, 1 South End, Croydon• Club: 2 Hours Free PoolMembers-only offer. If you are amember of Loop Lounge and spendmore than £8 on drinks at the bar youwill receive two hours of pool for free.If you are not already a member,membership is free but must be appliedfor in advance. Admission Midday untilmidnight Free admissionLoop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com• Gay: Camp Bingohosted by Miss Isla Blige – drinks atHappy Hour Prices from when you buyyour books until the first number iscalled.The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.net• Dance: Salsa LessonsEvery Wednesday from 8pm. £3.The Brief, George Street, Croydonwww.myspace.com/the_brief

Thu 26

• Music: Steve MorrisonHaunting slide, slick guitar and greatsongs from this Oval fave.Live blues every Sunday and Thursday - Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023www.ovaltavern.co.ukwww.bluesabuse.com• Event: Belgian Beer Tasting7.30pm - 9.30pm. Learn more about thedifferent styles of Belgian Beers from anexpert. Taste 10 different Belgian Beers,light snack, £15.00 per person.. For more info visitwww.halfandhalf.uk.comHalf and Half Lounge Bar,282 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NG020 8726 0080 • Music: The Brian HetheringtonJazz Band Listen or jive to the authentic rythyms ofNew Orleans. 8.30pm-11pm. FREE!Every 2nd and 4th Thursday of themonth.The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road,Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286• Quiz: Two BrewersFun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm.Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon, 020 8684 3544• Quiz: JF Big QuizFrom 8pm.The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Quiz: Crown and SceptreFun general knowledge quiz. EveryThursday from 9pm.Crown and Sceptre, 32 Junction Road,South Croydon, 020 8688 8037• Club: ALT X South London's biggest rock and metalnight with DJ Tony X. Doors 7pm, freebefore 10pm www.blacksheepbar.com/thursdayBlack Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233.www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Fri 27• Music: Friday DJsThe regular Oval faves, plus guests,keeping Fridays funky.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023www.ovaltavern.co.uk

• Karaoke: Wheelwright’s ArmsFrom 8.30pm every Friday night.Wheelwright’s Arms,126 Southbridge Road,Croydon, CR0 1AF• Club: WTF with DJ Zoe Urchin serving up the bestIndie, Pop and Alternative all night long.guitar party night playing a wide rangeof music crossing genres and time lines :from cutting edge new stuff like MGMT,Vampire Weekend via indie superstarsStone Roses, Primal Scream throughelectro like Justice, Does It Offend YouYeah and Pendulum to more well knownretro guitar stars like Blondie, Buzzcocks,Specials, Beatles and alternative rocktunes like Biffy Clyro, Foo Fighters andFallout boy.Doors 7pm, free entry before 10pm.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233.www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Sat 28• Music: DJ BennyManyHats4th Saturday of the month. Playing theway only Benny can.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023www.ovaltavern.co.uk• Club: DJ LInton Dance bombs. Funk Rockets. Beat-seeking missiles. Never outgunnedThe biggest dancefloor monsters from DJ LINTONBecause it's war on the dancefloor.Doors 7pm, £5 after 10pmBlack Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233.www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Music: Live Rock BandsEvery SaturdayPortmanor, Portland Road, SouthNorwood, SE25 4UF• Quiz: Two BrewersFun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm.Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon, 020 8684 3544• Quiz: Crown and SceptreFun general knowledge quiz. EveryThursday from 9pm.Crown and Sceptre, 32 Junction Road,South Croydon, 020 8688 8037

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• Addington Village InnBeer garden, parking, bigscreen, food: 12-8pm.36 Addington Village Rd,Addington, CR0 01689 842057• All Bar One2 floors. Decent food all day.Fiendish German beers. Dresscode Fri/Sat: smart casual.10 Park Lane, CR0. 020 8686 1033• Alma Tavern - DSBeer garden at rear, patio outfront, parking, 4 tvs & bigscreen, kids welcome til 8pm,live music at weekends - see‘what’s on’, pool table (FREEpool on Mondays), darts and acashpoint. Food: 12-3pm Mon-Fri. 129 Lower Addiscombe Rd,CR0, 020 8654 5842. • Arkwrights Wheel - DSDecent sized boozer, pooltable, screen for sports, food12-8pm. Karaoke everyThursday. 151 North End, CR0 020 8649 8638• Bar Red Square - DSStylish, light & friendly bar withoutside seating. Happy hour3pm-12am Monday-Saturday:Buy One Get One Free onSmirnoff, Kronenbourg andWine. DJs at weekends. Dresscode: Smart casual - smarttrainers ok. 63-65 High St, CR0020 8688 1020• Bedford Tavern - DSLarge patio garden out front,pool table, bar billiards, tvinside, regular bbqs on thepatio.16 Sydenham Rd, CR0 2EF. 020 8688 2584• Beehive - DSLarge boozer with massive beergarden, right on the green.47 Woodside Green, SouthNorwood, SE25 5HQ.020 8662 1941• Bird in Hand - DSCroydon’s longest serving Gaybar with pool table, FREE AirHockey, FREE Giant Jenga,FREE Giant Connect 4, BigScreen TV, Beer Garden,covered and heated smokingarea. Back Bar Available forprivate hire and functions.291 Sydenham Road, Croydon,London CR0 2ELTel: 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.net We are also on Facebook!

• Bishops Wine BarOnly sell wine. Homemadefood served between 12pmand 2.30pm. Opening timessubject to change. 1129Whitgift Centre, CR0. 0208681 7340Mon-Sat: 11.30am-4.45pmClosed Sunday.• Black Sheep Bar - DSPossibly Croydon’s mostprogressive venue. See what’son for night details.68 High St, CR0 1NA. 020 8680 2233www.blacksheepbar.com• Bricklayers Arms - DS237 High Street Beckenham• Bodega - DSNew tapas restaurant / bar.Civilised atmosphere. Wideselection of meat, seafood andveggie tapas. Spanish beers,exclusive Spanish wines. Buy abottle of our exclusive selectedspirits (complimentary mixers)and gain access to our intimateVIP area. Disabled access.Covered heated smoking area.Sky and Setanta sports.Private parties and corporatemeeting catered for. Over 21s only. Dress code: Nohoodies, tracksuits, caps orfootball shirts. Open 12-11 Sun-Thu12-12 Friday-SaturdayFood served 12-3 and 5-10pmevery day.14 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DL, 020 8680 9728• Brief - DSDecent boozer with screensshowing music videos/freeview,Dress code at weekends -smart casual, no headwear.Door charge at weekends. 48George St, CR0. 020 8686 6878• Builders Arms - DSFriendly Fullers pub withconservatory restaurant area, 2bars, one with 2 tvs. Boardgames available. Generalknowledge quiz night everyTuesday from 9pm. Live musiclast Friday of every month.Large, grassy, pleasant beergarden out back with niceseating, giant Connect 4, giantJenga and giant skittles, Over18s only. 65 Leslie Park Rd,CR0 6TP. 020 8654 1803

• Bulls Head - DSSmall friendly local. Recentlyrefurbed and under newmanagement. All sports &Setanta sports shown. Real alesBar food mon-fri: 12-4pm. 39 Laud St, CR0020 8760 0150• Claret Free House - DSIntimate real ale pub.5a Bingham Corner, LowerAddiscombe Rd, CR0 7AA020 8656 7452• Coombe LodgeLarge pub/restaurant withenormous beer garden,conservatory and outdoordining as well as posh diningroom. Food served all day. Alsoa Travel Inn with rooms around£60. 104 Coombe Rd, CR0020 8686 2030• Crescent Arms323 Whitehorse Road, CR0.020 8684 2310• Cricketers - DSGood food, screens for sports,huge garden, pool table.47 Shirley Rd, CR0 7ER020 8655 3507• CricketersPub grub served weekdays 12-3.30 and Sunday Roast servedSundays 12 ‘til they run out!107 Addiscombe Rd,CR0. 020 8662 1921• Croham Arms - DSCroham Rd, CR2020 8688 7356. • Crown Inn - DSMassive pub with beer garden,parking etc. Good food andweekly quiz nights.28 Wickham Rd, Shirley, CR0 020 8654 8235• Crown and Anchor - DS19 Park Road, Bromley• Crown & Pepper - DSFriendly staff and punters, largepub, nice beer garden / patioat the back heated and litsmoking area, conservatorydining area, car park, sofas,wide range of bottled beers,shots and good food. Dinnertable reservations available.242 High St, CR0 1NF. 0208688 7507• Crown and Sceptre - DSSmall friendly local with outsideseating, parking, screen forsports and top food servedMon-Thu 12-9pm,

Fri-Sun + bank Hols: 12-6pm32 Junction Road, CR2.020 8688 8037• Davy’s Wine Vaults - DSIntimate underground wine bar,tucked away in North End. Bigscreen, comfy sofas andbooths. Excellent selection ofwines. Quiz night first Weds ofevery month at 7.30pm, Salsaclasses and intermediate everySat. Quality food servedeveryday 11am-10pm.122 North End, CR0, 020 8680 2419• Dog and Bull - DSThe Dog comes into its own asthe sun arrives - the best beergarden in Croydon, with al-fresco bar and bbq. Brilliant. 24 Surrey St, CR0. 020 8688 3664• Drum and Monkey7 Gloucester Rd, CR0• Duke of CambridgeSmall pub, popular with footiefans on matchdays.7 Holmesdale Rd, CR0 2LR020 8665 6440• Duke of Gloucester258 Sydenham Rd, CR0 2EB. 020 8684 3971• Eagle - DSUnder new management.52 Tamworth Road (ReevesCorner), 020 8686 7474• Earl of Eldon - DSAll sports shown, big screen,beer garden, occasional livemusic. Food served every day.63 Brighton Rd, CR2. 020 8688 1473• Edge - DSBeer garden, Wednesday quiznight. Weekday food 12-3pm.Live music from rock riotpromotionswww.myspace.com/rockriotpromo1 South End, CR0. 020 8774 9933• Elliott’s - DSFood served Mon-Fri 12-2.30pm. Function room, 42”plasma screen for sports.Occasional Karaoke. Weds: FunBlackjack (£1 entry) and Salsaclasses from 8pm.5 High Street, Purley, CR8 2AF. 020 8668 3361• Fairfield Tavern - DSOnly open to theatre-goers.Fairfield Halls, CR0

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• First BaseCity Limits, The Colonnades,Purley Way• Fishermans Arms78 Windmill Rd, CR0 2XP020 8689 7887• Folly - DSLarge and airy split level pubwith pool table, outside patio,big screen, comfy seats. Foodserved 12-6pm every day.Happy hour 4-8pm every day.DJs from 8pm every Sunday.13-15 Selsdon Rd, CR2. 0208688 3920• Forestdale ArmsNew food menu, massivesmoking tent, karaoke Fridays,quiz on Saturday lunch times.Cricket/ football net. Featherbed Lane, CR0 020 8651 1260• FountainheadLarge pub with large grassybeer garden, kiddie’s slide and,as far as we’re aware, it stillhas a ‘swingball’ out there too.114 Parchmore Rd, ThorntonHeath. 020 8653 4025• FoxPub and restaurant withenormous beer garden setpretty much in the countryside.Nice food last time we visited.Coulsdon Common, Coulsdon,CR3 01883 330401• Foxley Hatch8-9 Russell Hill Rd, Purley,CR8. 020 8763 9307• Freelands Tavern - DS31 Freelands Road, Bromley• George - DSWetherspoons pub with cheapbeer offers running constantly,large restaurant at rear with nosmoking area and disabledaccess. 17-21 George St, CR0020 8649 2944• GeorgeOutside courtyard, insidescreens for sport, live music,quizzes and karaokeoccasionally. Bar food availableall day. 132 Canterbury Rd,CR0 020 8689 7911• Gipsy Moth - DSMassive boozer - kiddies playarea, car park, screens etc.Unit 7, The Colonnades,619 Purley Way, CR0 4RJ020 8686 8923• Glamorgan - DSTop quality food in friendlygastro-pub surroundings. beergarden, pool table, big screens

for sport (not football). SouthAfrican ‘Bunny Chow’ aspeciality.81 Cherry Orchard Rd, CR0 020 8688 6333• Golden Lion144 Stanley Rd, CR0 3QB020 8684 1395• Good CompanionFamily friendly pub on thesouthern edge of SouthCroydon, on the LimpsfieldRoad. Main Bar: large screenTV and additional screensshowing all major sports, pooltable/darts. Live music and DJnights (Includes established‘Open Mic’ night onThursdays, but see the web sitefor details of all events). Nonsmoking Lounge Bar and largeRestaurant. Home preparedfoods inc. kids options availablefrom 12 daily. Special menu onSundays includes a choice ofroasts and other meal options(booking is recommended onSundays). Very large familygardens. Car Parking for 60cars. Private weddings,functions and parties cateredfor. ( no room hire charges ).Open until 11.30p.m.weekdays and Midnight onFridays and Saturdays Limpsfield Road, SouthCroydon. Tel: 0208 657 6655.www.thegoodcompanions.com • Goose on the Market -DSHuge boozer with an eclecticage range of punters and eye-wateringly low prices. 1 Surrey St, CR0 1RG020 8688 4798• Granaries6 Overtons Yard, 020 8667 1000• GrangeBeer garden, screens for sport,pool table. Bar food availableevery day, occasional livemusic, quiz, karaoke. 21 Norbury Rd, ThorntonHeath, CR7. 020 8653 3783• Green Dragon - DS2 pool tables, sports screens,hire-able upstairs bar. Livemusic Mondays, Tuesdays,Wednesdays and Sundays; Djsat the weekend. Quality Alesand Proper Food (big SundayRoast and lots for veggies);table service. Thursday Quiz,Sunday Pub Games night, a

BookSwap scheme and localartist's work for sale.Food served 12-9 daily.Mon-Thurs 12-12Fri -Sat 12-1Sun -12-10.30 58-60 High St,CR0 1NA 020 8667 0684Mon-Thu: 12pm-12 midnightFri/Sat: 12pm-1amSun: 12pm-10.30pm• Gun Tavern - DSLive music venue as well as afriendly boozer. Pool tables,Sky on big screen TV. Church St, CR0 1RN. 020 8667 1472• Gypsy TavernWine bar. 12 Station Rd, CR0020 8688 6750• Half and HalfThe perfect place to chill- out,with cosy sofas, eclectic tunes,basement area for businessmeetings, private parties, meetup with work colleagues orfriends very friendly andrelaxed. Visitwww.halfandhalf.uk.com formore info and discounts!282 High St, CR0 1NG020 8726 0080www.halfandhalf.uk.com• Hare and Hounds325 Purley Way, CR0020 8688 0420• Harvest Home27 Beddington Lane, CR0 020 8688 0813• HorseshoeBeer garden, pool table andscreens for sport. Livemusic/quiz/karaokeoccasionally on Fri-Sun. Kidswelcome until 6pm. Foodderved 12-2pm and 5-8pm.745 London Rd, ThorntonHeath, CR7, 020 8665 6305• HubNew club 80-88 High St, CR0020 8680 5500• Hustler ClubCroydon’s newest (and only)table dancing club. 8pm-3am12-20 Crown Hill, Croydon,020 8633 1621 www.hustlerclubuk.com• Jack and JillLonglands Ave, Coulsdon, CR5• Jolly Farmers - DSGood beers and ales, andcoffees, with home cookedfoods served at lunchtimes. (NoTV screens inside) Seating areas

to the front and side, with carparking to the rear. Live musicon Fridays (rock/blues bandnight), Saturdays (mixed bandsand singers) and Sundays(great ‘open Mic’ nights withdifferent hosts every week)See the Web site for detailswww.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk7 High Street Purley, Tel 0208660 2076• Lion InnSmoking patio, pool table,darts, screens for sport.Occasional live music and DJs.Main and evening menu, barsnacks all day.182 Padsons Rd, CR0020 8684 2978• Lord NapierRenowned Thornton Heathboozer noted for its quality livejazz music. 111 Beulah Rd,Thornton Heath, CR7. 0208653 2286• Loop - DS“Loop is a members-only,award winning (Best New LateNight Venue - Theme), stylishlydesigned club with, impressivecocktail bar, american pooltables and some of Londonstop DJs.” Dress Code varies,check each listing in what’s on.DJs from 9pm.General Enquiries: 020 8760 7000 www.looppoolbar.com12 Crown Hill, CR0• Man on the Moon112 Headley Drive, NewAddington, CR0 0QF01689 847550• Milan Bar / Lloyds - DSHugely popular bar over twofloors. Relatively cheap booze.Food served throughout theday until 30mins beforeclosing. Screens showing musicvideos, 70’s 80’s 90’s nightevery Thursday from 8pm. DJ’sat weekends Dress code: Smartcasual - no hats or trainers. 14-32 High St, CR0, 020 8603 0870• New Inn148 Mitcham Rd, CR0020 8665 1440• Newton Arms175 Queens Rd, CR0 020 8684 1654• Norbury - DSIncorporating The Edge

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nightclub. Sports bar with 3 bigscreens and pool tables.Outside seating area.1300 London Road, Norbury.SW16 4DG.020 8679 0632• Old Derby - DSScreens for sport, pool table,darts, benches outside at front.Quiz every 3/4 weeks, livebands and karaoke every twoweeks. DJ Twinkletoes everyFrdiay and Sunday. Lunchmenu served 11am-2.30pmand a diferent meal every nightfor £1.50. 44 Pitlake, CR0 020 8688 5674• Old Fox and HoundsThai food served Mon-Sat: 12-3pm. Beer garden, pool table,big screen sport, house doublesat £2, function room available.1 London Rd, CR0• Orchard - DSLarge pub with pool table,darts, big screen, beer gardenwith kids play-area. 112 Cherry Orchard Rd, CR0020 8688 3682• Oval - DSOne of our favourite pubs.Brilliantly friendly. Pool table,great beer garden. Real Ales.Food served between 12-3pmevery day and 6-9pm Fridays -new menu and bar menu(nachos, calamari, potato skinsetc). Sunday Roast (2 choices +vege) 12.30-3.30pm. BBQs insummer (available to hire - callfor details). Pool competitionevery Thurs, DJs Fri/Sat,monthly quiz night and liveblues (see what’s on fordetails). 131 Oval Rd, CR0020 8686 6023• Parchmore Tavern 82 Parchmore Rd, ThorntonHeath, CR7. 020 8771 3816• Padson’s ArmsBeer garden, screens for sportand kids welcome until 7pm.69 Padsons Rd, CR0 2QA020 8684 2378• Pitlake Arms73a Waddon New Rd, CR0 1XD020 8688 0428• Pistols - DS208-210 Brighton Road,Coulsdon, CR5 2NF• Plough and Harrow 774 London Rd, ThorntonHeath, CR7. 020 8665 7151• Plough Inn

Croydon Rd, The Broadway,CR0 4QR. 020 8647 1122• Porter and Sorter - DSThe Editor’s local, friendly andlively. Table service, good food- new menu including sarniesand wraps as well as mainmeals. Dining area at rear, 7different real ales, drinks offers,no smoking area, outsideseating, 3 screens. A topboozer! 1 Billinton Hill (formerlyStation Rd), CR0, 020 8688 4296• Portmanor Live bands every Saturday, DJon Fridays - new rock venue inSouth London Portland Road, South NorwoodSE25 4UF• Prince George 2 High St, Thornton Heath,CR7. 020 8239 0029• Purley Arms - DSOutside patio, big screen,cashpoint inside. Food servedMon-Fri: 12pm-7pmSaturday: 12-5pmSunday: 1pm-5pm.345 Brighton Rd, CR2020 8686 3792Mon-Wed: 12pm-11pmThu-Sat: 12pm-12amSun: 12pm-10.30pm• Railview - DSUnder New Management. BeerGarden, Darts, Sky Sports,Parking. Sunday Lunch 1-5pm.11am-11pm Sun-Thu,11am-12am Sat/Sun188 Selsdon Rd, CR2020 8688 2315• Railway Telegraph 19 Brigstock Rd, ThorntonHeath• Randall Tavern Fieldway, New Addington, CR0 9DX, 01869 841476• Rectory - DSHuge barracuda pub in Purley.Loads of seating, booths,wooden floors etc. Pay car parkat rear. Food served 12-10pm.908-912 Brighton Rd, Purley, CR8 2LN. 020 8660 6396• Red Deer - DSUnder New Management.Massive pub in South Croydonwith 2 bars, pool table, 2 bigscreens + 6 smaller ones forsport. Car park. Large functionroom available for hire - call fordetails. Reasonably priceddrinks. DJs every Friday and

Saturday night from 8-midnight playing dance / RnB /Garage etc. 279 Brighton Rd, CR2 020 8688 5599Mon-Thu: 12-11pmFri-Sat: 12pm-12am Sun: 12-10.30pm• Reform Tavern 69 Osbourne Rd, ThorntonHeath, CR7 020 8653 9991• Rileys CroydonPool / Snooker club.1st Floor, 63 Frith Road,Croydon, Surrey, CR0 1TB.Telephone: 020 86497788• Rileys Purley WayPool / Snooker club.31 Imperial Way, Purley Way,CR0 4RR. Telephone 020 8688 3479. • Royal Standard - DSSmall, friendly Fullers pub withbeer garden over the road.Food served Mon-Fri: 12-2.30pm.Dart board. No music. Rugbypub! 1 Sheldon St, CR0 1SS020 8688 9749• Saints and SinnersPleasant little pub with smallbeer patio. 482 London Rd,CR0. 020 8689 3713• Sandrock Hotel - DSRestaurant/pub - patio out theback, parking, good qualitymarket-fresh food served 12noon to 10pm every day.Music/gen knowledge quiz,every Thursday from 9pm.Monthly live music (phone fordate/details). 152 Upper Shirley RoadCroydon, CR0 5HA020 8654 3829• Selhurst Arms Large Palace pub with 2 bars,big screen, pool table, beergarden /patio, car park.Selhurst Rd, SE25• Ship - DSInstitutional alternative pub. Food Mon-Sat: 12-7pm, Sun: 12.30-3pm.47 High St, CR0. 020 8688 2810www.theship.org• Ship of FoolsWetherspoons outfit.9-11 London Rd, CR0 020 8681 2835• Shirley Inn - DSCompact pub with beer

garden, parking, pool table,darts, 4 screens inc big one.Steak-out menu available Mon-Sat 12-6.30pm and Sun 12-2.30pm. Karaoke on someThursdays, and Entertainmenton Saturdays (phone for datesand details).158 Wickham Rd, CR0. 020 8654 1362 • Sir Julian Huxley152-154 Addington Rd,Selsdon, CR2. 020 8657 9457• SkylarkLarge pub spread over twofloors. 34 South End, CR0 1DP. 020 8649 9909• Smugglers Inn320 Chipstead Valley Rd,Coulsdon. 020 8657 9457• Spread Eagle - DSExtensive traditional pub menuserved 12-9pm Mon-Sat and12-5pm Sunday. Real Ales,Cask Conditioned ales. Outsideseating. Sky big screendownstairs, plasma screenupstairs. Function room for hirewith buffets available.39 High St, CR0 1QD020 8781 1134• Stag234-236 Addington Rd,Selsdon, 020 8657 6265• Stag and Hounds - DSLocal pub with beer garden.Friendly atmos. Home cookedfood every Friday 11am-3pm.26 Selsdon Rd, CR2020 8688 1908• Star101 Southbridge Rd, CR0.020 8688 2638• Surprise Inn - DSKaraoke every Sunday eveningfrom 5.30 until closing.107 Upper Shirley Rd, CR0.020 8656 6820• Surrey Cricketers - DSFriendly, triangular shaped pub,seats outside, pool table,screens, darts. 23 West St, CR0 020 8288 1781• Swan and Sugarloaf - DSLarge pub with parking, screenfor sports, pool table and darts.Function room for hire. B&B(room only £20pppn). 1 Brighton Rd, CR2. 020 8686 2562020 8688 7888• Thomas Farley61 High St, Thornton Heath,

pubs, clubs and barsDS indicates DEEP Stockist!

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CR7. 020 8665 7975• Tiger Tiger - DS6 bars, a restaurant: modernclassic food and a club spreadover 2 floors. Happy hour 5-7.30pm. Dress Code: Smartcasual, collared shirts, notrainers.16 Grant’s Building, High St,CR0. 020 8662 4949. www.tigertiger-croydon.co.uk• Tudor RoseCoulsdon Rd, Coulsdon, CR501737 553368• Two Brewers - DSPleasant little Shepherd Neamepub with tables outside front,beer garden out back. screensfor sport, darts. Gets busy withfootie fans as it’s on the way toSelhurst Park, but still managesto stay friendly and welcoming. 221 Gloucester Rd, CR0. 020 8684 3544• Txt Bar - DSNew upmarket bar. Cocktails aspeciality. 73 South End, CR0020 8667 1308• UpstairsGorgeous, grown-up, intimateclub.Thursday - Simply Salsa.Friday & SaturdayClub nights with DJ's includingLouis from Choice FM. Guestlist and venue hire available,please contact 020 8688 9837for details.www.treehousepeople.com78 South End, CR0. 020 8688 9837 • Victoria Cross228 Bensham Lane, ThorntonHeath, CR7. 020 8684 3022• Vintage34 Surrey Street, Croydon CR0 1RJ020 8686 5600www.vintage-bar.com• Walkabout - DSLarge and lively Aussie boozer.Club attached, (open Fri/Sat).Live bands and DJs through theweek. Large portions of food(inc. crocodile & kangaroo)served until 1 hour beforeclosing. 2 big screens for sport,loads of seating and comfysofas. Dress code: smart casual- no trainers.12 Crown Hill, CR0 1RZ. 020 8680 5559mail:[email protected] birthdays special occasions

and guest list.• Welcome Inn300 Parchmore Rd, ThorntonHeath, CR7• WheatsheafLarge and allegedly hauntedboozer on Thornton HeathPond. 759 London Rd,Thornton Heath, CR7. 0208665 7161• Wheelwrights Arms - DS Friendly community local withgood food, karaoke everyFriday night from 8.30pm,Quiz every Sunday from 8pm,occasional live music andcharity nights.126 Southbridge Rd, CR0. • Windmill - DSFriendly local with large grassybeer garden and big screen.Food served Mon-Sat 12pm-2.30pm and Sunday 1pm-5pm.Quiz night at the end of everymonth - phone for details. 224St James Rd, CR0 2BW. 0208684 2272. Mon-Sat: 11am-11pm. Sun: 12pm-10.30pm• Windsor Castle - DS(Toby Carvery and InnkeepersLodge) Pub, restaurant, hotel.Car park. Garden & patio. Foodserved 12pm-9.30pm, setmenu and carvery. 415Brighton Rd, CR2. 020 86804559• Woodman - DSSmall and friendly pub withbeer garden at back, outsideseating at front and screen forsports. Unusual and interestingceiling decor. 36 Upland Rd,CR2 020 8688 4725• Yates’s Wine Lodge - DSNew and vastly improved,friendly, relaxed and with poolhall upstairs. 3-11 High St, CR0020 8681 8219• Ye Olde Clock Tower35 Whitehorse Road, CR0020 8684 0288

AMERICAN• Frankie and Benny’sPizza, pasta & burgers.Valley Leisure Park, PurleyWay, CR0. 020 8760 5021• T.G.I Fridays702-704 Purley Way, CR0.020 8681 1313

ENGLISH• Cockney’s Pie and MashPies, mash, liquor, vinegar inhuge bottles, 82 Church St,CR0 - 020 8680 4512• Coombe Lodge104 Coombe Rd, CR0020 8686 2030• Tree House - DS78 South End, CR0020 8688 9837• Sandrock Hotel - DSGood quality market-fresh foodserved 12 noon to 10pm everyday.152 Upper Shirley RoadCroydon, CR0 5HA020 8654 3829

FISH• McDermott’s FishRestaurantQuality Fish and Chipsrestaurant and takeaway.5/7 Featherbed Lane,Addington 020 8651 1440Tues-Sat 12-2pm & 5-9.30pm((pm on Saturday)

FRENCH• AubergeFrench cuisine.Unit 2153 (third floor) WhitgiftCentre, CR0. 020 8680 8337Sun-Wed: 10am-6pmThu-Sat: 10am-10pm• Boulevard - DSRestaurant, bar, cafe.7-8 Ruskin Parade, Selsdon Rd,South Croy. CR2. 020 8649 9990• Chateau NapoleanUpmarket French cuisineCoombe Wood Hs, CoombeLane, 020 8686 1244, 0208680 6027• Little BayFrench/Italian/English. Smallintimate restaurant. 32 SelsdonRd, CR2. 020 8649 9544• Rayon D’OrFrench/Italian/English.Face painting for kids onSunday, dinner and dancing onSaturday. Airport House, PurleyWay, CR0. 020 8781 1933• Savana222 London Rd, CR0020 8680 7452

GREEK• L’UnicoGreek cuisine.265 High St, CR0, 020 8688 7998

INDIAN• 1860Indian / South African cuisine. 28 South End, CR0020 8688 3839• Anika’sContemporary Indian &Bangladeshi cuisine.4 Selsdon Parade, AddingtonRd, Selsdon, CR2, 020 8651 6602020 8651 6603• Banana LeafAward winning South Indiancuisine. 7 Lower AddiscombeRd, CR0. 020 8688 0297020 8688 9922• Bharat Bhavan10 Lower Addiscombe Rd,CR0.020 8688 6239020 8680 5553• Bombay Blue - DSFine Indian cuisine. 23 High Street, Purley, CR8 2AF. 020 8645 0022• CatamaranSouth Indian Kerala cuisine.Veggie and non-veggie.Takeaways available. 62 South End, Croydon CR0 1DP, 020 8688 6996020 8688 7002www.mcdosa.com• Chat House14 Brighton Rd, CR2020 8688 6327• Depa Indiana5 Derby Rd, CR0020 8688 9695020 8686 4902• Go East212 London Rd, CR0020 8667 1700• India Palace79 High St, CR0020 8686 6730• Kerala BhavanSouth Indian. 16 London Rd,CR0. 020 8688 6216• Mensab39 Stafford Rd, CR0020 8667 9090• Mohini Balti202 Croydon Rd, Beddington,CR0. 020 8686 8700020 8688 5265 • Panahar

pubs, clubs & bars / restaurants DS indicates DEEP Stockist!

restaurants

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316 Limpsfield Rd, CR2020 8651 9662• RoseIndian/Chinese/Sri Lankan305 London Rd, CR0020 8684 1198020 8684 1536• Royal Asia Tandoori91 Lower Addiscombe Rd,CR0. 020 8656 7818• Sanderstead Tandoori5 Station Parade, SandersteadRd, CR2. 020 8651 6489• SangriNew indian - fantastic food!265 High Street, CroydonCR0 1QH• Taste Of Bengal1 Station Parade, SandersteadRd, CR2. 020 8651 5445• Tikka Masala227-229 High St, CR0020 8686 8800• Zafran349 Lower Addiscombe Rd,CR0. 020 8655 0055• Zara’s KitchenQuality Indian, bring your ownalcohol. 60 South End, CR0020 8688 4277020 8688 0782

ITALIAN• Bagatti’s56-58 South End, CR0020 8680 1336• Bella ItaliaLive Opera as you eat.18 George St, CR0, 020 8688 5787• Ciao Bella 38a South End, CR0, 020 8688 8524• Dario248 Brighton Rd, CR2020 8686 2680• Elio17 Limpsfield Rd, CR2020 8657 2953• Il Cavallino89 Lower Addiscombe Rd,CR0. 020 8656 9679• Il PonteGreat food, but a bit crowded.91-101 High St, CR0020 8686 1112• Il TeatroWood oven baked pizza64-66 London Rd, CR0020 8667 1788• La PergolaStreatham Italian withinstitutionally hilarious Elvisshow. 66 Streatham High St,SW16. 020 8764 2646 / 020

8769 2601• Pizza Express3-7 South End, CR0020 8680 0123• Zizzi - DSPasta and Pizza in modernsurroundings with a wood ovenfor pizza. French doors allalong the front, which theyopen up in summer. 57-59South End, CR0. 020 86498403MEXICAN• ChiquitoUnit 3, Valley Park LeisureDevelopment, Purley Way,CR0. 020 8686 8341• Conchitas27/29 South End, Croydon -Tel: 020 8255 8028• Tequila Rock Cafe281 High St, CR0020 8686 8030020 8686 3223

ORIENTAL• Anna’sThai. 1078 Whitgift Centre,CR0. 020 8681 6601• Beijing CottageSuperior Cantonese. 49 South End, CR0020 8688 2046020 8688 1092• Blossom HouseChinese. 340 Limpsfield Rd,CR2. 020 8651 4723• ExcelsiorChinese. 264 Wickham Rd,CR0. 020 8656 1666• KelongAll you can eat Malay/Chinesebuffet. 1b Selsdon Rd, CR0020 8688 0726• Longquan Noodle Bar97 South End, CR0020 8667 9588• Mae PingThai. 16-18 South End, CR0020 8760 0278• Malay House Malaysian BYO alcohol.60 Lower Addiscombe Rd,CR0. 020 8666 0266• MisoNoodle Bar.Geeorge Street, Croydonwww.misonoodlebar.co.uk• New China King6 Beddington terrace, MitchamRd, CR0020 8689 8222• Oriental ExpressGood value functional chinesefood served super-fast. Ideal

for filling up before a night onthe town. 56 George St, CR0020 8681 6598• OsushiCroydon’s first sushi restaurant- sushi, tempura & ramen incontemporary surroundings 47 South End, CR0 1BF020 8681 1166• PaisaanThai. Delivery of food andwines & beers available!13-17 Station Rd, CR0020 8686 6254• Royal GardenUpmarket Chinese. Takeawayavailable. Shirley Hills Rd, CR0020 8654 6491 / 020 86540170• Spicy Penang Chinese / Malaysian cuisine.Restaurant / takeaway / freedelivery (over £15 (afterdiscount) within 3 mile radius.10% discount on all takeawaycollections and deliveries. 49b-49c South End, Croydon, CR0 1BF. 020 8680 2010Lunch Mon-Fri: 12-2.30pmDinner Mon-Thu: 6-11.30pmFri/Sat: 6pm-midnightSun: 12 noon - 11pm.• Tai TungChinese. 550 Purley Way, CR0020 8688 3668 / 0117• Udon Noodle Bar74 London Rd, CR0 020 8686 0602• Welcome FriendsChinese. 4 Bingham Corner,Lower Addiscombe Rd, CR0. 020 8656 9981.

NEPALESE• Gurkha Spice Nepalese cuisine343 Brighton Road, SouthCroydon, CR2 6EQ020 8686 8606020 8667 0711

OTHER• Croydon Steak HouseT-bone steaks from 500g to1500g. 31 South End, CR0020 8688 8422. Closed Sun.• La BrasaArgentinian cuisine - 108a HighSt, CR0. 020 8760 9610• Nando’sPortugese chicken restaurant.26 High St, CR0 020 86813505, 0800 975 8181

• Tiger Tiger - DSClassic cuisine with acontemporary twist, along with6 bars, 2 dance-floors andhappy hour 5pm-7.30pm. 16 Grant’s Building, High St,CR0. 020 8662 4949www.tigertiger-croydon.co.uk• Tree House - DSLarge contemporary restaurantwith bar and garden offeringmodern European cuisine. Mainmeals from £8.95. 78 SouthEnd, CR0. 020 8688 9837

SPANISH• Bodega - DSNew tapas bar / restaurant. Over 21s only. Dress code: No hoodies,tracksuits, caps or footballshirts. Open 12-11 Sun-Thu12-12 Friday-SaturdayFood served 12-3 and 5-10pmevery day.14 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DL, 020 8680 9728• GaliciaTapas Bar and restaurant.269-275 High St, CR0020 8686 0043• La TascaTapas bar and restaurant.38-40 High Street, Croydon,CR0 1YB, 0208 680 3388• Las FuentesTapas bar and restaurant.36-40 High St Purley SurreyCR8 2AA, 020 8763 1983• PicassoTapas Bar and restaurant.910 London Rd, ThorntonHeath, CR7 7PE, 020 86840049

VEGETARIAN • Pepperton UK - DSRelaxed and friendly licensedvegetarian restaurant and artgallery. Open Tue - Thu:5.00pm - 10.00pmFri - Sat: 12noon - 10.00pmSun & Mon: Closed(other than for party/groupbookingsof 10 or more). Pepperton UK25 Selhurst Road, SE25020 8683 4462

restaurants DS indicates DEEP Stockist!

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• A1 Minicabs307 London Road, CR0, 020 8683 3535 or 020 8684 5050• Circuit Cars12 South End, CR0020 8680 4321• Croydon Carriage Co 270 Wickham Road, CR0020 8656 1313• Croydon Central Cars 35 South End, CR0020 8686 4444020 8686 4499• Derby Minicabs1 Derby Road, CR0020 8680 5566020 8680 7799• Kendall Cars11, Epsom Road, CR0 and20 Station Road, CR0. 0208681 3535• Roadrunners174 North End, CR00800 147369020 8681 8700• Station Cars Purley10 Station Approach, Purley,CR8, 020 8660 6000020 8668 8848• Station CarsSandersteadSanderstead BR020 8657 5550020 8657 1110020 8657 5588

• Aerodrome Hotel 3 star. £60-£120Purley Way, CRO020 8680 1999• Coombe Lodge Around £55.104 Coombe Rd, CR0,020 8686 2030• Coulsdon Manor Hotel4 star. £108-£130Coulsdon Court Rd,Coulsdon, 020 8668 0414• Croydon Park Hotel4 star. £125 - £140.Gym and pool. And a baropen to non-residents.7 Altyre Road, CRO020 8680 9200• Express Holiday Inn -WS

Priddy’s Yard, off Frith Road,(behind Debenhams)Croydon• Fairfield Hotel2 star. £60ish.1 Lansdowne Rd, CRO020 8681 3381• Hilton Croydon4 star. £110.Waddon Way (off PurleyWay), CRO. 020 8680 3000• Innkeepers Lodge(Windsor Castle) - WS£70. 415 Brighton Rd, SouthCroydon, CR20870 243 0500• Jury’s Inn3 star. From £69.Wellesley Rd, CR0,0870 907 2222• Kirkdale Hotel£45-£80. 22 St Peters Rd,CRO. 020 8688 5898• Premier Travel Inn£55ish. The ColonnadesLeisure Park, 619 Purley Way,CR0. 0870 990 6554• Selsdon Park Hotel4 star. £100-£175.126 Addington Rd, CR2020 8657 8811• South Park Hotel 2 star. £55-£753-5 South Park Rd, CR2020 8688 5644

• Beanos - WSThe UKs largest 2nd handrecord shop. 3 floors of vinylheaven. Star House, 7 MiddleSt (near Jim Thompsons /Surrey Street market) 0208680 1202• Jonathan Myall MusicEurope’s leading woodwind &brass centre. New & second-hand. Sales, rental, repairs.46 South End, CR0020 8662 8400www.justflutes.com• Livewire RecordingStudios Streatham Ice Arena386 Streatham high roadLondon. SW16 6HT020 8835 9913• Martin Phelps MusicGuitars, amps, digital pianos,keyboards. On site guitarworkshop. Buy and sellinstruments. 9 South End,CR0, 020 8680 9747

• Memory Lane RecordsOld tunes. 55 Frith Road,CR0020 8649 7220• Online Studios2 state of the artsoundproofed, air-conditionedrecording studios with vocalroom. Studio hire, musicproduction, training coursesand DJ recording. Freeparking.Unit 18-19 Croydon House, 1 Peall Road, Croydon, CR0 3EX. Tel: 020 8287 [email protected]• Rockbottom - WSSouthern England’s largestmusic shop - keyboards,electronica, guitars & amps,drums & percussion (drumlessons available), woodwind& brass instruments. Buy andsell, downstairs rehearsalstudios. 68/70 London Road, CR0. 020 8680 1042• Scream Studios - WSOpen 24 hours. 1000w rigwith on board digital effects.Piezo mic recording system,air conditioning. Full backlineavailable. Parking available.Daytime sessions from £18,evening sessions from £25.20c South End, Croydon, CR01DN(next to E-Bar). 020 8686 5788www.screamstudios.co.uk• Swag Records - WSDance music specialists.42 Station Road, West Croydon.020 8681 7735www.swagrecords.com• Vinyl Resting Place -WSNow online only at:www.thevinylrestingplace.co.uk• World DominationMusicCroydon’s newestindependent music publisher.Looking forsingers/songwriters. Alldemos listened to.52 Upper Selsdon Road,South Croydon,CR2 8DE020 8657 5565

• 101 Records2nd hand music.11 Keeley Rd, CR0.020 8681 8282

.• Fairfield Halls - WSTheatre and cinema.Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DGbox office: 020 8688 9291admin: 020 8681 3381www.fairfield.co.uk• Warehouse Theatre - WSTheatre and bar.Dingwall Road, Croydon CR0,020 8680 4060www.warehousetheatre.co.uk• Vue Grants10 screen cinema complex.14 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1GT. bookings and info:08702 406020enquiries: 020 8688 0606www.warnervillage.co.uk• Vue Purley Way8 screen cinema complex.Valley Park Leisure Complex,Hasterman Way, Croydon, CR04YA. bookings, info andenquiries: 08702 406020www.warnervillage.co.uk• David Lean Cinema - WS80 seater cinema & bar -mostly art-house andalternative films.Croydon Clocktower, KatherineStreet, Croydon, CR9 1ET. 020 8253 1030

• Hustler ClubCroydon’s newest (and only)table dancing club. 8pm-3amwww.hustlerclubuk.com 12-20 Crown Hill, Croydon,020 8633 1621 • PrivateDVDs, videos, ‘marital aids’toys etc in a discreetenvironment. Selsdon Road, South Croydon(opposite The Folly pub)

cabs / cinema / music / adult

cabs

music

adult

cinema /theatre

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Hello again to all my friends andaccomplices. Well, it may haveescaped your notice but

apparently Monday January 19th wasthe most depressing day of the year,when you were almost guaranteed to beovertaken by overwhelming despair,depression, doom and gloom. I wasinterested in finding out a bit moreabout this so I consulted Cliff Arnall ofCardiff University who told me that hesettled on Monday January 19th afterusing “an elaborate formula expressingthe delicate interplay of lousy weather,post-Christmas debt, time elapsed sinceyuletide indulgence, failed new year

resolutions, motivation levels, and thedesperate need to have something tolook forward to”. I think we can allrelate to that.

Edith and I were determined not to letBlue Monday get the better of us so wedecided to have a day when we hadmaximum fun but didn’t spend anymoney at all. We spent the morningdancing insanely to Pendulum with thevolume knob cranked up to 11 - untilthe postman peered through thewindow, mistook Edith’s dancing for aseizure and called an ambulance. (Noteto self: dance in the back room nexttime). In the afternoon we treatedourselves to a trip up to Liberty’s wherewe caused quite a kerfuffle in the hatdepartment, were amazed at the price ofa pair of bronze-coloured faux-Converses (£345! – you can get analmost identical pair in Primark at themoment for £4.89) but then sadly gotejected due to an unfortunate episodeinvolving a lift, a small child namedHermione, a brightly lit button and avery loud alarm! From there we paid avisit to the Vault at the Hard Rock Café,Old Park Lane where Edith got veryemotional over Flea’s guitar and I had tobe dragged away kicking and screamingfrom Slash’s November Rain costumeand Keith Moon’s shirt. The evening was

spent drinking snowballs laced withbrandy and watching Acorn Antiquesand Hinge & Bracket on DVD. Wemanaged the whole day without addinga single extra frown line but did have avery slight headache in the morning.

However, for the rest of you whodidn’t manage to get through the daynursing a stitch due to over-laughing,here are some reminders about why lifeis not as bad as the media is making out.

• You’ve got through the worst bit –there won’t be another ‘most depressingday of the year’ this year. And if you’rereading this, you’ve come out the otherside to smile another day.

• The days are getting longer. I know,I’ve timed them.

• Petrol is a bit cheaper than it was. • It’s only xxx days til you see AC/DC

(fill in the blank).• Your letter box is now not crammed

full of junk mail from banks and financecompanies begging you to take outloans and credit cards.

• There are still two cases of St. Louis Kreik

hot cherry beer leftat Half & Half, butif they run out youcan get chocolatebeer in the Dog &Bull. Yum.

• There’s loadsof free live musicaround – check thelistings section.

This month I’mreally lookingforward to the‘Rock for CLIC’Festival at the Brief,George Street onSaturday 7thFebruary which isbeing held to raisemoney for CLIC,the children’scancer charity.

There’ll be two stages, raffles, auctions(personally I’m after the Jack Daniel’sgeeetar) and as much live music as youcan handle in one day (with a surpriseheadline act to be announced). Fulldetails atwww.myspace.com/franticpromotions.

Another event I never miss is the PureRawk Awards Ceremony which this yearis being held at the Purple Turtle,Camden on Friday 27th Februaryfeaturing sets from The Pleasures, Shush,Evil Scarecrow, Noise and a specialacoustic set from Disarm. I hope you’veall got your votes in as the competitionis hot. More info and tickets in advanceat myspace.com/purerawkpromotions.

And finally, Auntie May’s Lesson ofthe Month: Life's journey is not to arriveat the grave safely in a well preservedbody but rather to skid in sidewaysriding a Harley, totally shagged out,shouting “YeeHarr! What a Ride!! Amento that.

Catch up with the action atwww.myspace.com/auntiemay99 or I’llsee you at the bar.

Septuagenarian agony aunt cum rock mutton AuntieMay with reasons to be cheerful, part one...

“The postman peered through the window,mistook Edith’s dancing for a seizure andcalled an ambulance...”

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Speed-freak If you think one first date is bad, try having thirty in one night...

Afew weeks ago, apropos ofonrushing Valentineunpleasantness, someone

innocently asked me if I’d ever triedspeed-dating. ‘Yes, I have,’ I said, athousand-yard-stare settling in my eyes‘I wrote an article on it for our firstissue.’ At which much hilarity wasenjoyed, along with the suggestion Ishould do it again and update thearticle. And then I went home and readthe article and realised I can’t remembera thing about the evening, the men, thevenue, nothing. It was nearly six yearsago but still, you’d think there would besome recognition but no, I’ve repressedit out of existence in my memory banks,much as I did with the infamous MrTennant interview, as some of you willknow, and know why. It was the samesort of excrutiating embarrasment onboth occasions, both eminating entirelyfrom me being something of a pillock,and both best left very well alone alongwith unresolved childhood issues andhummus.

But, psychologists say you should faceyour demons, and David Devant told meto feel the fear and do it anyway, so yes,I shall be apologising for nearly killinghim the next time I see Mr T, and yes, Iwill relive an evening of tiny little threeminute packets of horror for youramusement, filtered through the lens ofsix years, almost in its entireity, buttaking out references to ‘Pals’, ‘cos itaint there no more. Loyal readers will,therefore, have seen this before in 2003,if you can remember that far back (Iobviously can’t), but that was when Iwas willing to put myself through thiskind of thing for the magazine. I’m notany more, and am unlikely to be again,so make the most of it...

It all started innocently enough, witha few drinks, a leaflet advertising speed-dating and the general consensus that Ishould try it, being single, sort of. I’mnot sold; it sounds like my worstnightmare, being a shy and retiring typeas I am. The twin offensives of alcoholand some feverish badgering soon getthe better of me, though, and I’m all butsigned up by the time I stagger home.Logging on to www.speeddater.com, Idiscover they’ve got an event planned

later in the month in Croydon. Being stillquite drunk, I take the plunge, pay my£20 and wait for the big day.

And that’s where it all starts to goawry. A week before the event I get acall from Ben at Speeddater; ‘Therehasn’t been much response to ourCroydon event’, he tells me, ‘So we’recancelling it’. ‘Oh’, I say, ‘How manypeople did you get?’, ‘Er, you’re the onlyone’. Well that’s an ego-boost then,cheers.

Being the helpful types they arethough, they move me to an event atthe achingly fashionable Hydro-Bar inClapham - not too difficult to get to,and, on the up-side, it’s away fromsniggering friends. On the down-side,the promised moral support can’t bearsed to come with me. An enormouslyamused mate also helpfully informs methat the Hydro-Bar has a swimming pool

in it, so I’m left with a image ofeveryone getting their kit off andjumping in the pool. Not the worstimage in the world, but I can’t swim. Iwonder where I can get one of thoseVictorian full body swimming costumes,just in case.

The day of the date doesn’t startwell either - the details I’ve been sentfrom speeddater tell me they start at7.30 sharp and latecomers might not getin. I’m still running up St John’s Hill at 25past, so it’s a panting, bright red anddishevelled sight that greets the otherdaters when I eventually enter the barwith 2 minutes to spare. The sight thatgreets me is of a room full of tall,elegant, well-endowed blonde ladies. Ishould point out here that I’m 5’1”,brunette and, er, shall we say, petite?

The men, meanwhile, are a broadcross-section in suits, smart casual andone horror story. In a fit of dating-panic,I’m on the verge of turning around andgoing home when I’m cornered by theorganiser of the event, signed in, issuedwith a name badge and a number and

sent off to get a drink. A double JD later and it’s dawning

on me that almost everyone else in thebar (30 men and 30 women) have comewith friends, and are happily chattingwith them. I station myself at the barand am soon approached by a nice-looking bloke who tells me not to worry,and that it’s fun. I’m not convinced butok, I’m here now and the JD is helpingimmensely - can’t see a swimming-poolthough. Probably for the best.

The numbers on our badgescorrespond to table numbers, so I’mforced to leave the relative safety of thebar and look for my table, which I findjust in time to see my first dateapproaching. He’s actually really friendly(all names have been changed to protectthe innocent and, in some cases, thevery guilty), and is as nervous as I am.

The allotted three minutes fly by.

He’s never done this sort of thing beforeeither, and we spend the time trying todecide our strategies. At the end of thethree minutes, the woman fromspeeddater rings a bell (not a littlebuzzer, but a huge industrial type ship’sbell) pretty much right in my ear, andthe men have to move on. We wisheach other good luck and he’s off.

At this point you’re supposed to fillin a ‘score-card’ with the bloke’s name,number, comments and a little tick ifyou’d like to see them again.Unfortunately, I’m so flummoxed, andthe next fella is so quick to appear, that Idon’t have time to fill in the last one’sname. I still have no idea who he was.My second date is Mark, from the bar,who, having done this before, spendsthe three minutes giving me helpfulhints, which are duly taken on board.Then there’s Steve, who’s absolutelystunning. There must be somethingwrong with him, I surmise, for that to besingle, but we end up having aninoffensive chat about Chelsea’sprospects, (Chelsea fan - that’s what’s

My next date is a keen cyclist. I ask him,more out of hope than interest, if he’s

ever been knocked off his bike...

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wrong with him. Sorry Dad...) and Phil,who works in TV. It’s going as well ascan be expected so far, but my drink isrunning low and it’s getting a bit warmin the bar.

My next date appears out ofnowhere - a ginger vision in a peculiarly80’s ‘sweater’ and brown cords. He ridesa bicycle. I know this because he tells mein excruciating detail. I ask him, moreout of hope than interest, whether he’sever been knocked off his bike. This is aBad Idea, and he’s halfway through areal-time description of his journey homewhen, thankfully, the bell rings. Possiblythe longest three minutes of my life, sofar.

Next up is a guy I’m sure I know. Igo in with the truly awful openinggambit of; ‘You look really familiar, doyou live in Croydon?’. It’s only later Irealise that he’s a childrens’ TV presenterwho spends most of his time with hishand up a glove puppet. I’m still notsure whether this is a plus or a minus.He was, however, very gracious aboutmy appalling opening line, and anextremely charming man.

And, to be honest, after that it’s all abit of a blur. A procession of threeminutes of varying durations, a couple ofaccountants, media types, a bloke with aface like a bashed crab, the bloody belland me becoming increasingly in need ofa cigarette. It’s stress, you know.

Speed dating, as it transpires, issurprisingly draining, a fact exacerbatedby me having taken some dating tipsand using the cunning ploy of nottalking about myself, but beingincredibly interested in them. It’s not aseasy as it sounds, especially whenthey’re astonishingly posh, work at theBank of England and enjoy talking aboutinterest rates. I kid you not.

A welcome break in proceedings isspent with an amusing middle-aged

Scouse businessman talking aboutfamous Palace v Liverpool encountersand canvassing opinion on the evening.Two girls are hovering by the toilets, andit turns out one of them is a speed-dating regular. She’s a very pretty,animatedly enthusiastic TV executive,and is full of praise for the events. ‘Thetrick’, she says, ‘Is to not take it tooseriously and just enjoy it. After all, ifyour score-cards don’t match you neverhave to meet again. and if you can getpast the nerves, it’s a great way to makefriends, even if you don’t go away withan actual date’. I look at my score-cardand I’ve got six ticks (although I was abit over-enthusiastic at the beginningand was ticking everyone), and another

15 or so dates to go. I’m absolutelyknackered by this point and realise thatmy scoring system has gone right out ofthe window. There seem to be an awfullot of blank spaces on my card. Therapidity of movement between datesmeans I’m not having time to fill indetails, and the speed of the encountersmeans it’s difficult to remember detailsafter the event. And the Jack Danielsprobably isn’t helping.

Eventually, after three hours of non-stop ‘sparkling’, it’s all over. A housesoundtrack kicks in and it’s time tomingle. This is somehow worse than theevents preceding it, but is where I meeta bloke called Andy. It turns out thattime was against us and not everyonegot a chance to do the entire 30prospective dates, so there a few Ihaven’t encountered yet. Andy is one ofthem. We end up having a half-hourchat, and he’s probably the only bloke in

the whole sorry saga I’d call aprospective actual date. But, somewhattypically, we’re not on each others’score-cards, I’m far too tired to befascinating, am completely out of mydepth, and Andy (it turned out) ends upleaving one of the girls I was speaking toearlier.

On the way out one of theorganisers asks me if I’ve enjoyed it,seeing as though I looked absolutelypetrified when I walked in, and I thinkthat on the whole I sort of did in amorbidly fascinated kind of a way.Almost everyone in the bar was anormal human being, with a couple ofnotable exceptions, so yes, it was, in astrange way, a laugh.

I’d definitely advise anyone thinkingof trying it to go with a friend though -a bit of a breather, a friendly face and achance to have a laugh at bike andsweater bloke during the breakswould’ve made it a lot more tolerable. Ifyou’re bubbly and gregarious you’ll loveit, so go for it. If you’re like me it’s abaptism of fire, and is definitely AnExperience. In much the same way asfalling out of a burning aeroplane is anexperience, but an experiencenonethless... So if you’re up for it andlooking for a night out that’s a bitdifferent, visit www.speeddater.co.ukand sign up for something very differentindeed.

Speeddater’s next local event ishappening at the TXT bar on 18th

February and costs around £20. We hear the Dog and Bull are doing

one on Valentine’s Night too - visit thepub for details...

Three minute bursts of varying duration passwith accountants, media types, suits and a

bloke with a face like a bashed crab...

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G'day again, Deep readers! Bythe time you have this in yoursweaty mitts, I'll be

somewhere on a misty mountain top inThe Land Of The Long White Cloud,looking for Mordor, Gollum and abunch of Hobbits, myprecioussssssssss's. I won't be TheScarecrow in Oz anymore, and will bepretending, as best I can with aprevailing Sou'westerly and a helluvalotta luck, that I'm Aragorn from theLord Of The Rings....(well you gottadream, right lads?! ). That's right,New Zealand beckons, and havingbeen there twice before, I'm feelinglike a kid on Christmas Eve beforeSanity Claus rocks up...

Anyway,If you've not beenfollowing these monthly traveloguescribblings over the last six months, I'ma scruffy artist who hails from TheShire Of Croydon, used to DJ in TheShip, and drank cider and tequila invarious pubs in the vicinity. I jacked itin and am now away backpacking fora year.

Arrival and Departure Lounges inCrete, India and Australia have come'n' gone. So if you didn't know whatwas going on, consider yourself up tospeed, and part of the family. It's clear,we're, going to get along...

When I last emailed dispatches toangela at deep last month, my mateand I were in a rented van headed forBroome, and had just been blown intoa town on the north-west coast ofAustralia called Port Headland byCyclone Billy, who left us with a LOTof rain for two days, and then kindlybuggered off out into the IndianOcean and fizzled out to nothing morethan a grasshopper's fart. So we keptgoing north and wondered whyeveryone else was coming the otherway. The effects of Cyclone Billy ?Mebbees a mad mutant roo with anM16 on the highway to hell ?

Nah. But the Wet Season hadkicked-in a fortnight early and those inthe know were heading south. In

retrospect maybe so should have we.Once arrived in Broome and settled

into The Last Resort Backpackers (anomen methought?), Christmas Eve andDay involved drinking lots of grog(booze), watching a wet t-shirtcontest, keeping out of the way ofpissed-up good-ole Aussie boysfighting each other (if you don't wantto bruise your hand punching yourbest mate, use a cricket bat -apparently), and being force-fed NuR'n’B in the only decent bar open intown - it really is shit, that music, eh?!Oh, and playing a very drunk, andverrry ugly bloke at pool in the samebar christmas Eve eve.... He won. Theugly, jammy git. I swear it was lookingat his even uglier wife that put me offmy game. Boy, was she ugly. She had aface like a dog's bum with a hat on.

Anyway. Many thanks for the textsand Facebook messages by the way, itwas lovely to get 'em, and made me

feel a little bit Christmassy, but all in allwe didn't, really. Slade and DoctorWho and getting mashed in The Shipwith your mates - that's Christmas! Ahwell - next year !

Now. There are 2 ways to cure aChristmas Day hangover: One is to liein your bed with a cold turkey andpickle sandwich, Aspro Clear in onehand and the remote in the other,watching 'The Two Ronnies ChristmasCrackers' Show on tv, and re-checkingall the cards and wrapping paper forhidden HMV vouchers andundiscovered money.

The other is to travel from Broomeback to Port Headland in 40 degrees, acan of ice cold Rockstar in your hand(the Aussie Red Bull), dodging theprevious nights' roadkill.

T'was interesting, but by the timewe got back to Port Headland, onpossibly the most boring stretch ofroad in the universe, let's just say that

The latest dispatches from the other side of the world courtesy ofDeep’s very own globe-trotting correspondant Geoff Lyons...

If you don’t want to bruise your handpunching your best mate, use a

cricket bat, apparently

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the 4 litres of water each and our dailyfix of Mrs. Mac's beef pies in aroadhouse hadn't quite done the trick,but the barbee and cold tinnies of EmuBitter that night did. Buggered if Iknow why....

Next day we headed inland in'SMG 826'...(or Smeg, as the vanbecame known..), and down towardsThe Karijini National Park. The lastthing the guy in the Caravan Park saidwas "Take care walking out there mate- it's bloody gorgeous, but yer gonna

need a hat, sunblock and loadsabloody water. And don't leaveanything outside yer van at night.Those dingos are crafty bastards -they'll eat yer camping chair given halfa chance.." He wasn't kidding.

Later, after hiking a few kilometresdown into a canyon, we parked up.Some cans of tuna, Super noodles anda bit of tomato paste, onion and garliclater, we were sat outside, beers inhand watching dusk fall, when the firstdingo came calling. He kept about 12

feet away, but skulked around the van,and showed no fear at all when Ishone a torch towards him, his eyesglittering in the light. Then threestorms decided to collide above us, thesky turned as black as an emu's arseand we had to jump inside the van tododge the rain. Three more cans ofEmu later I needed to water the plants,so slid the van door open. There in thetorchlight was not only our dingo, justa few feet from the door, but also asnake, bright green and slithering

under the van. I was busting for aslash, but waited a wee while (geddit!?Aw, I'm wasted, me). I slept easy thatnight, despite the rain drumming onthe roof 6 inches above my head, butwas woken a few times by a pack ofwild dogs howling somewhere out inthe bush. It was fan-bloody-tastic.

Fourteen days later we were back inFremantle, near Perth, having comedown via Exmouth for New Year, thenMonkey Mia (wild dolphin territory,and they're beautiful), and a few non-

descript towns. After scrubbingingrained, red Outback dust off theoutside of the van, my mate flew backhome and that was that littleadventure over.

Anyway it's now Sunday 11th Jan,and I've just had a drink with BonScott. For those who don't know,heavy rock band AC/DC have beenone of Australia's biggest exports forthe last 35 years, but sadly lost theiroriginal singer Bon Scott back in 1980,at the age of just 33. Being a fan ofthe band, I'd seen the 6ft bronzestatue in Fremantle Harbour, but thenheard about a memorial to him in thetown cemetry. After 30 minutes walkin hot sun today, I found the place.There, amongst the graves andheadstones was a small bronze plaque,festooned with guitar picks, flowers, abadge or two, vodka bottle tops, anda drawing by a 7 year old fan. I'dtaken a 4 pack of cold Jack Daniels andcoke cans. One was drunk on the waythere, another on the walk back. Isunk the third in his honour as I stoodthere. The last one I left unopened,and in the shade next to the plaque. IfHell ain't such a bad place to be, Bon,then have a drink on us dude, fromyour fans in Croydon and the UK.Adeos til next month. Geoff.

There in the torchlight was not only our dingofrom earlier but a snake, bright green andslithering under the van...

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This is an attempt to locate mysister Rosslyn (see picture),who was last heard from in

New South Wales, Australia onNov 6th. She is known to haverecently visited Gerringong, Figtreeand Kiama.

Ross decided to escape Croydonto travel 18 months ago, remainingin contact with friends and familythroughout that time, via phone,text and email. However she hasnot been in touch with her familybefore or during the Christmasperiod, and going forward into theNew Year.

The British police have beeninformed and she is officiallyregistered missing in Australia. Mysister is 5ft 1in tall, blonde hairedwith blue eyes and fair skin. She

was originally from Croydon, butspent time in Runcorn, so speakswith a slightly scouse accent,disguised now by her time spent inCroydon and London, working forthe Home Office. She is an Everton(and Duncan Ferguson) fan.Rosslyn is a popular and vibrantyoung woman, who loves life andalways has time for her friends. Iam her only sibling.

Rosslyn initially went to Australiaon a working visa, taking a numberof jobs throughout her initial stay,including waitressing and workingin an Immigration-related TravelAgency in Brisbane. Her intentionon finishing her time in Australiawas to travel to New Zealand butshe is not recorded by the ForeignOffice as having entered the

country.If you have recently spent time

in Australia, particularly along theNew South Wales coast, areplanning to visit, or havefriends/family out there, pleasegive them these details or ask themto carry a photo. If you know ofanything or anyone that can help,please contact me by the followingmeans, or call the Police.

[email protected]

Facebook groups: ‘Theresa’‘Have you seen Ros Emerson?’

ThanksTheresa Emerson

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This month sees the beginning of Lent, an important time of the year, so I, as your favourite Croydon astrologer cum celebrity, would respectfully ask for your acceptance of me sharing insightinto these times with you. There are key dates within Lent, the period that signifies the 40 days thatJesus spent sitting in a desert, which nobody should be ignorant of. Thanks.

Capricorn Dec 22-Jan 20Now, lucky Capricorn as you seem to havegotten Good Friday which means there’sat least four days this month where youdo alright. Good Friday is of course to dowith the crucifixion and as such shouldnot be used as a route to comedy. What Iwould say though is that not many peoplerealise that the guy who interrogatedJesus, one Pontius Pilate, was apparentlyvery focused on the core postural muscleswhich help keep the body balanced andwhich are essential to providing supportfor the spine.

Cancer Jun 22-Jul 22Mothering Sunday, contrary to popularbelief, is not about being nice to yourMother, it historically marks the halfwaypoint in Lent, which, if you’ve read theintro is the theme of these signs. It is thetime when people go back to their“Mother Church” for a service,sometimes referred to as going a-mothering. Me and a few mates decidedto go a-mothering last Friday night uptown, but I guess what with the passing oftime for us it is a-milfing.

Virgo Aug 23-Sep 22In my experience Virgo is usually the signof the stupid, so I’ll explain further aboutthe intro and the whole Lent thing.Basically some bloke called Jesus H Christwent and sat in a dessert for 40 days,accompanied by Norris McWhirter.Certain countries, faiths religions orwhatever argue about the dessert, Italianssay Tiramisu, the English a trifle, but thepoint is he did it and we should celebratehis achievement. I think he appeared on“The Word” as well but don’t quote meon that.

Gemini May 21-Jun 21Of course, the day before Ash Wednesday(see Taurus) is Shrove Tuesday, or CrepeDay, if you’re French. It’s not abundantlyclear why pancakes are linked to Lent, butI did some research and found out thatbecause Lent is about fasting, a pancakeuses up lots of rich foodstuffs, so it’s like,handy or something. Weirdly enough,when I was In the Canadian province ofNewfoundland, back in 1924 I think, theyactually put household items like rings,thimbles, thread, coins etc in the pancakemix and then serve it up to the family. Wetold the Police when they arrived that wethink Aunt Alice must have got the razorblade.

Pisces Feb 20-Mar 20So, to précis this whole Lent thing (see allstar signs), Jesus was in a desert and was Ithink tempted by Stan. I’m guessing thiswas Stan Laurel but you form your ownopinion. No, wait a minute; that might bea misprint. Who’s Satan?

Taurus Apr 21-May 20Ash Wednesday happens on the 25thFebruary this year and denotes the first dayof Lent. It gets its name from the placing ofsome ash, mixed with oil, on peoples headsby a clergyman, as a sign of repentance. Istuck some ash on a mates head once for alaugh while he was asleep and the weirdthing is that when he woke up and lookedin the mirror he said: “Jesus Christ, whatthe f**k is that on my bonce?” Not sure ifI repented or anything but I suppose ifyou’re reading this now Bazza, sorry geez.Seriously though, oil and ash on the head isreally not big and it’s not clever so if somerobed old man asks if he can do it to you,run away, fast (especially if he asks you inthe underpass).

Aquarius Jan 21-Feb 19The last day of Lent, which is the themeif you haven’t noticed or read any of theother star signs, is Easter Sunday. This isthe day when Jesus is thought to havereappeared after a couple of days playinghide and seek with Ian Brown and theStone Roses – hence them singing I amthe resurrection for a laugh when hecame out.

Aries Mar 21-Apr 20

Sagittarius Nov 22 - Dec 21Following oooh, around about 24 hoursfrom Spy Wednesday (see Scorpio), is ofcourse good old Maundy Thursday. This isthe day where I gather Jesus washed hisfeet and then got a take-away for him andtwelve of his crew. Oh, and they also hadsome wine although again, differentreligions have different theories on this(see Virgo). The Italians claim that theyopted for a nice Chianti for example,whereas the Germans think the big J fellaopted for a blue nun. Or was that thestripper? I can’t remember exactly butbasically Maundy Thursday is a day forthe boys.

Scorpio Oct 23-Nov 21Perhaps one of the lesser known days ofLent, is Spy Wednesday, the lastWednesday before Easter. I think thisone refers to the first day that Judas (a bitlike Jesus only badder), mugged off theJesus dude by selling him some stuff for30 silver coins. This is the first recordeddrug deal and to be honest, if Jesus waslooking for some gear and he’s supposedto be the good guy, I for one am gladJudas done him over by giving himSanhedrine, which as we all know is thelatter day version of Ibuprofen.

Libra Sep 23-Oct 22Unfortunately Libra you get the shortstraw of insight this month because ithappens that you get Palm Sunday andeveryone knows about that. It signifiesthe day when the bearded one came backand everyone gave him five, on the palm,for doing his dessert thing (see Virgo).

Leo Jul 23-Aug 22So as we know, this month is all aboutLent (you know, the 40 day Brian Jesusgetting lost in a desert thing), your lessonbeing on the 5th Sunday in Lent, calledPassion Sunday. Passiontide is the namegiven to the final two weeks of Lent andcoincidentally the name of the horse Ibacked in the 2.45 at Pontefract lastweekend. Yeah, lost by a nose, but thenwho would’ve thought Pinocchio wouldmake such a career move?

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