Repetitive Ignorance

Dear Mr. Beale,

I am glad you have brought this to my attention. I do not blame you; I do not eat the food on my airlines either. Here is my recommendation, do as I do and bring something else to eat (I like subway). Since you are curious about dinner around my house, I would like to invite you over (I have a five star chef). If you follow my advice, your next flight should be a good one. Remember to always fly Virgin.

Take Care,Richard

Dear Oliver,

I pity you in more ways than one. I pity your lack of thankfulness for never enduring true hunger, and lack of gratitude for a safe, timely flight. Having to look at the seat in front of you during a flight is a cruelty in itself, and for that I pity you even further. The hardships you experienced on that flight resemble those of a POW camp, and Virgin Airlines will happily cover the cost of any psychiatric care you deem necessary. For future flights my recommendation would be flying Wolf Gang Puck Airlines, but dont forget your camera; their food may be more photogenic than ours.. My condolences go out to you Oliver, I hope you can overcome this traumatic flight.

Sincerely, Richard We are sorry about your recent experience and so we are offering you a free flight* aboard our airline.

We hope you enjoy your flight!

*Flights are limited to one person, must be redeemed within five days of this letter, may not be transferred to a third party, traveler must fly in cargo hold of plane, no meal will be served, Virgin is in no way responsible for loss of life or limb due to frost bite or asphyxiation.

To whom it may concern,Thank you for your complaint. I am currently struggling to find a solution to your problem. Solving world hunger will have to wait

Sincerely,

Richard Branson

P.S. Your right, that was not custardRepetitive Ignorance

its in custard Richard, custardIts mustard Richard. MUSTARD.Look at this Richard. Just look at it: Which one is the starter, which one is the desert?

Ray Liotta says Lifes Not FAIR!

Its your hamster Richard. Its your hamster in the box and its not breathing.

6

Dear Mr. Beale,

We are sorry to hear that from you, we apologize for having you going trough that bad experience. All our customers are extremely valuable to us. However, dont forget that this is an airline not a buffet or prestigious restaurant. All I can say is... please call Angelina Jolie ASAP!

Sincerely,

Dear Mr. BealeI am Richard Branson, and I am super bad ass. While you have nothing better to do than take pictures of food you dont eat I am busy selling records, building personal islands, and flying to the moon. Go Beavs, and Seacrest out.Yours SincerelyRichard Branson