Deadpool Movie Leaked Script

7/14/2019 Deadpool Movie Leaked Script

1/113

1"'\I t .

DEADPOOLRhet t Rees e &Paul Wer n i c k

Apr i l 12, 2010

_


2/113

FADE UP ON:An EXTREME CLOSE- UP of what l ook l i ke BRI GHT- ORANGE TREE-RI NGS, f i l l i ng t he s c r een.

l

J UI CE NEWTON l i f t s our c ol l ec t i ve s pi r i t s wi t h her powerbal l ad ' ANGEL OF THE MORNI NG' as we begi n our CREDI T SEQUENCE .We s l owl y PUL L BACK t o r eveal t hat t he ' r i ngs ' ar e ac t ual l yt he gl owi ng COI LS of an aut omobi l e' s CI GARETTE L I GHTER.The camer a SW NGS ar ound t he l i ght er t o r eveal t hat i t ' sHOVERI NG, FROZEN, i n MI D- AI R next t o t he f ace of a MAN who appear s t o be v i o l ent l yCOUGHI NG.The FROZEN man i s FLAI L I NG i n m d- s omer saul t . Hi s LOCATI ONi s n' t c l ear unt i l t he camer a pul l s bac k FURTHER, out t he W NDOW of aCADI L LAC ESCALADE, al s o i n MI D- AI R F ROZEN UP SI DE- DOWN, MI D- F L I P .The camer a c i r c l es t he ESCALADE and EXPLORES an out r ageousACTI ON SCENE t hat has been FROZEN I N TI ME.NOTE: OUR CREDITS HANG IN THE AIR, AT ODD ANGLES, THREEDIMENSIONALLY, INTEGRATED INTO THE SCENE.We' r e on a FREEWAY OVERPASS at mor ni ng RUSH HOUR.We SEE:A MAN SMASHI NG t hr ough t he Es cal ade' s SUN- ROOF SHARDS of GLASS enc i r c l i ng hi s head l i ke mos qui t oes and DROPS of BL OOD SPATTERI NG i n CLOSE- UP.ANOTHER MAN cat apul t i ng t hr ough t he ai r ABOVE t he Es cal ade hi s ANKLE ent angl ed i n a SEAT- BELT pr ot r udi ng f r om t heopen pas senger door .A MOTORCYCLE t umbl i ng i n f r ont of t he Es c al ade' s GRI L L E,METAL PARTS expl odi ng OUTWARD, CHAI N whi ppi ng t h r ough s pac e.A mot or cyc l e RI DER s oar i ng t hr ough t he ai r , eyes W DE i ns i dehi s heLmet , s t i l l f i r i ng a SUB- MACHI NE GUN .


3/113

2

FLAME expl odi ng f r om i t s bar r el SHEL L - CASI NGS s pi l l i ng ever ywher e SLUGS whi z z i ng t hr ough t he ai r TOWARD t he Es cal ade, butmor e s pec i f i c a l l y t owar d a t angl ed j umbl e of RED FABRI C i ns i de.The c amer a s woops t owar d t he f abr i c , whi c h c l i ngs t o t hel i mbs of ANOTHER MAN, ASS- OVER- KETTL E i ns i de t he S. U V We s ee hi s ar ms . L egs .And at l as t MASK.Eyes t r i mmed i n BLACK.DEADPOOL.J UI CE NEWTON bel t s out her f i na l hear t f e l t not e, and we END CREDI TS.

DEADPOOL (V.O.)I know, right? You have no ideawhat the fuck's going on right now.So let me take you back t o the de~slopes of

SMASH CUT TO:I NT. / EXT. SUPER- MAX PRI SON - DAYT i t l e : 48 Minutes AqoTi ght on a pai r of bl ac k SHI T- KI CKERS, es c or t ed t hr ough as er i es of CEL L and SECURI T Y DOORS, whi c h SW NG and SL I DE OPENand CL OSED AGAI N.At l a s t , t he bl a c k boot s wal k OUTSI DE i n t o SUNL I GHT.Et ched i n t o t he bl i ndi ng whi t e f or t r es s behi nd:' No puni shment has ever possessed enough power of det er r encet o pr event t he c omm s s i o n of c r i mes . ' - Hannah Ar endt, Unt i l NOW 'The boot s s t r ut t owar d an aut omot i ve buf f et of Es c al a des andDuc at i s i n t he par k i ng l ot al l par t of a CONVOY wai t i ng t opi c k up t hi s V. I . P. PRI SONER on hi s f i r s t day of f r eedom.


4/113

3.

One of t he Es c al a de' s door s s wi ngs open. VELVETUNDERGROUND' S ' I ' M WAI T I NG FOR THE MAN' booms f r om i ns i de.We' r e behi nd t he boot s as t hey s t op wal k i ng. The c amer ar i s es up t he pr i s oner ' s bac k as t he hands of PRI SON GUARDSUNLOCK t he CUFFS r es t r ai ni ng hi s wr i s t s .The c amer a cont i nues t o r i s e, hi gh i nt o t he air. Thepr i s oner STRETCHES hi s ar ms and s t r ut s ac r os s t he l ot TOWARDt he c onvoy.EXT. / I NT. TAXI CAB - DAYA TAXI CAB pr oc eeds al ong a CI TY FREEWAY.I ns i de t he c ab, DEADPOOL , in f u l l DRESS REDS, i s WEDGI NGhi ms el f t hr ough t he P l e x i g l a s openi ng bet ween t he bac k s eatand f r ont .The t wo KATANAS s t r apped t o Deadpool ' s bac k don' t c ooper at e,c at chi ng on t he Pl e x i g l a s , s t al l i n g hi m m d - t or s o.

DEADPOOLUh, l i t t l e hel p her e?The CAB DRI VER gr abs Deadpool ' s hand and pul l s hi m t hr ough t o ~t he f r ont . Deadpool ' s head r es t s ups i de down on t he benchs eat as he maneuver s hi s l egs t hr ough.

DEADPOOLKi n da l onel y bac k t her e.The c abbi e t ur ns t he hel pi ng hand i n t o a HANDSHAKE.

CABBI EDopi nde r .DEADPOOL( s t i l l ups i de- d own)Pool . Deadpool .

Dopi nder l ooks l i k e Az i z Ans ar i ' s and Dev Pat el ' s l ove c hi l d .He i s young, t hi n, bear ded, br own . and t oday, r emar kabl yand i r oni c a l l y UNAFFECTED by t hi s l unat i c in hi s c ab.DOPI NDERWhy t he f anc y r ed s ui t , Mr . Pool ?DEADPOOLChr i s t mas Day, Dopi nder .( g l ances at wat c h)Wai t ed one- t hous and- e i ght - hundr ed-t went y- t wo days f or t hi s s hi t .


5/113

4.

DEADPOOL t ur ns hi ms el f RI GHT- SI DE- UP i n t he f r ont s eat . Hei s YOKED t o t he gi l l s and ARMED t o t he t eet h. TW N KATANAS.TW N DESERT EAGLE . 50 CAL I BER PI STOLS.Deadpool r eaches f o r Dopi nder ' s OPEN BAG of CORN NUTS.Dopi nder r ef l ex i vel y t r i es t o gr ab i t f i r s t and al mos t get si t , but Deadpool pul l s i t away .Deadpool t ur ns up hi s MASK. And we GL I MPSE t he bot t om hal fof a SCARRED f ace. We hol d on i t as he eat s .CRUNCH. CRUNCH. CRUNCH.

DEADPOOL( poi nt s )Ni c e .Dopi nder eyes hi s AI R FRESHENER and t akes a deep br eat ht hr ough hi s nos e.

DOPI NDERSmel l s good, no?DEADPOOLNot t he Daf f odi l Daydr eam ai rf r es hener . The gi r l .

A P I CTURE of an I NDI AN YOUNG WOMAN i s t aped t o Dopi nder ' sdash.DOPI NDERAh yes . Gi t a. She i s qui t el ovel y. She wi l l make me a ver yagr eeabl e wi f e . My par ent s knowhow t o pi c k ' em!DEAD POOLY' k now, Dopi nder , l ove i s abeaut i f ul t hi ng. When i t f i ndsyou, t he whol e wor l d smel l s l i k eDaf f odi l Daydr eam( c l eans i ng br eat h)

Hol d ont o her . Hol d ont o l ove.' Caus e when i t l e aves ? The whol ewor l d t as t es l i ke Ros i e O' Donnel l .DOPI NDERAnd how does Ms . O' Donnel l t as t e,Mr . Pool ?

Deadpool t os s es i n t he f i nal c or n nut of t he bag. CRUNCH.DEADPOOLL i k e your nut s i n my mout h.


6/113

5.

Deadpool c huc ks t he bag out t he wi ndow and pul l s out hi sP I STOLS. He s t ar t s CHAMBERI NG s hel l s i nt o t wo magaz i nes .Suddenl y , he f r ant i c al l y pat s hi ms el f down, l i ke a Hol l ywoodagent who c an' t f i nd hi s phone.DEADPOOLShi i i t . My ext r a mags ! I us ual l yl eave t hem r i ght by t he door s oI ' l l t r i p over t hem! Some~mus t ' ve moved t hem

SMASH CUT TO:I NT. DEADPOOL ' S APARTMENT - MORNI NGA s i ght l es s ol d WOMAN ( whom we' l l l a t er l e ar n i s Deadpool ' sr oommat e, BL I ND AL ) dus t s t he COBWEBS by t he f r ont door ,TRI PS on t he DUFFEL of AMMUNI T I ON, PI CKS UP t he duf f e l , andCARRI ES i t OFF .

SMASH CUT BACKTO:I NT. / EXT. TAXI CAB - DAY

DOPI NDERShal l we t ur n back?DEADPOOLNo t i me.( s l i des i n hi s l as t f ewbul l et s )Si xt een, s event een, ei ght een orb u s t . ( chamber s a s hel l i nt oeac h gun, l o oks up)Ri ght her e!

The cab STOPS on t he s houl der of t he hi ghes t FREEWAY i n amas s i ve I NTERCHANGE of f r eeways at t he cent er of t he c i t y .Dopi nder hal t s t he met er and hands Oeadpool hi.s CARD.My car d .s i x t y .

DOPI NDERThat ' s t went y - s even-DEADPOOL

0000. I never c ar r y a wal l e t whenI ' m wor k i ng. Rui ns t he l i nes of mys ui t . ( MORE)


7/113

6.DEADPOOL ( CONT ' D)( b e a t )How ' bout a c r i s p hi gh f i ve?

Dopi nderDeadpoolbus i nes sAWAY.

s t ar es , deadpan, as he and Deadpool s l a p s k i n .GETS OUT of t he cab. Dopi nder t r i es t o YANK hi sc ar d back and al mos t get s i t , but Deadpool pul l s i t

DOPI NDERBe s ur e t o as k f or me agai n.DEADPOOLMer r y Chr i s t mas , Dopi nder .DOPI NDERAnd a Mer r y Chr i s t mas t o you,PooL Guy.

Deadpool c l os es t he door wi t h a f l our i s h. BoomEXT. FREEWAY OVERPASS - DAYDEADPOOL s i t s on t he edge of t he hi ghes t f r eeway on t heover pas s , l egs dangl i ng over t he s i de l i ke Huck F i nn.

DEADPOOLI hear d t hat you wer e t al k i ng s hi t .And you di dn' t t hi nk t hat I woul dhear i t .ANGLE ON:A di s t ant BI RO' S EYE VI EW of t he ent i r e f r eeway i n t er change:a c r az y, l o opi ng, i n t er woven t angl e of r amps headed t o- and-f r o ever y di r ec t i o n on t he compas s

DEADPOOL ( O. S. )Peopl e hear you t al k i ng l i ke t hat .Get t i ng ever ybody f i r ed up.EXT. FREEWAY OVERPASS - DAYMovi ng al ong t he s econd r amp f r om t he t op i s t he CONVOY f r omthe pr i son: ONE BLACK ESCALADE i n f r ont , t hen TWOMOTORCY CL ES, TWO MORE BL ACK ESCAL ADES, TWO MORE MOTORCY CL ES,and one f i na l BLACK ESCALADE.

DEADPOOL ( O. S. )Thi s s hi t i s bananas .


8/113

7.

EXT. FREEWAY OVERPASS - DAYDEADPOOL wat ches f r om hi s s pot on t he edge as t he c onvoyappr oaches .

DEADPOOLB- A- N- A- N- A- S.He ver y CASUALLY get s up as i f s t andi ng up out of an eas ychai r and DROPS an ent i r e l evel DOWN THROUGH t he W NDSHI E LD of t he f i r s t ESCALADE i n t heconvoy .Ther e ar e f our HUGE BAD- ASSES i n s i de t he S. U. V. , t wo i nf r ont , t wo behi nd. They s t ar e, i n SHOCK, as Deadpool l a ndson t he c ent er c ons ol e i n a HAI L STORM of GLASS.

DEADPOOLHol a ! Me l l amo Gabr i e l a . Dondees t a l a bi bl i ot ec a?( subt i t l ed, i n YEL LOW ofc our s e: )Hello. My nameis Gabriela. Whereis the library?A beat . Then BOOM! MAYHEM ERUPTS as t hes e f our t r y t o beatt he l i v i ng f uc k out of Deadpool but f i nd t hems el ves s har i ng a phone boot h wi t h t heTASMANI AN DEVI L .ELBOWS. FOREARMS. KNEES. CRACKI NG. CRUNCHI NG. SCREAMI NG.F r om BEHI ND, t he r es t of t he c onvoy WATCHES, i n awe, as t heEs c al ade BUCKS and BOUNCES down t he r oad on i t s s us pens i on,a l mo s t CARTOON- L I KE.

DEADPOOL ( O. S. )Tehema ani l i ne l eat her ? Pr em umt r i mBac k i n t he S. U. V. , Deadpool t r ades VI CI OUS PUNCHES wi t h t hepai r i n bac k s eat t hen r eac hes f or war d bet ween t he t wo guys i n f r ont .

DEADPOOL' Sc l l s eand YANKS t he EMERGENCY BRAKE. The S. U. V. DI VES FORWARD.


9/113

8.

One guy FL I ES al l t he way f r om t he bac k s eat THROUGH t her emai ns of t he wi nds hi el d and of f t he HOOD. He EATS t he CADI L LAC HOOD ORNAMENT onhi s way of f t he f r ont . and t hen - THUMP- THUMP - get s RUN OVER by BOTH s et s ofwhee l s .DEADPOOL i ns t a nt l y RELEASES t he EMERGENCY BRAKE agai n. TheS. U. V. r egai ns s peed.Deadpool HURLS hi s next vi c t i m THROUGH t he TAI LGATE W NDOWThe man c l ut ches ont o t he TAI L GATE f or dear l i f e, DRAGGEDbehi nd t he S. U. V.DEADPOOL l eaps bac k i n f r ont . He WRESTLES VI OLENTLY wi t h t heguy i n t he PASSENGER SEAT . s omehow get s t ur ned UPSI DE DOWN

rTRI ANGLE- CHOKES t he guy wi t h hi s l egs . . GRABS t he PASSENGER SEAT- BELT, WRAPS/ T I ES i t ar ound t heguy ' s ANKL E and KI CKS hi m out t he PASSENGER SI DE DOOR.The guy ' s HEAD and SHOULDERS SMACK pavement , wher e he' sDRAGGED mer c i l es s l y by hi s ANKLE - a moder n COWBOY whos e bootj us t got s t uc k i n hi s hor se' s STI RRUP.Deadpool ' s head i s s t i l l down i n t he wel l under t he GLOVECOMPARTMENT.The DRI VER s t ar t s BOOT- STOMPI NG hi m i n t he head.

DEADPOOLYou wi t h t he mas s i ve head t r auma!Deadpool s omehow RI GHTS HI MSELF and gr abs t he dr i ver by t heHAI R on t he BACK of hi s HEAD.

DEADPOOLTwo can pl ay!Deadpool begi ns BEATI NG t he dr i v er ' s FOREHEAD i nt o s hi t ashar d as he can:The hor n. HONK. HONK. HONK.The s i de m r r or . BASH. BASH. OBJ ECTS I N MI RROR ARE CLOSERTHAN THEY APP EAR.


10/113

9.The s t er eo. Ever y t i me t he dr i ver ' s f or ehead SMACKS t he f ac eof t he s t er eo agai n, t he RADI O STATI ON CHANGES:DMX.DAVI D ARCHULETA.DR. DREW on ' LOVE L I NE. 'MARI ACHI MUSI C.Deadpool l o oks i n t he REAR VI EW MI RROR t o s ee t he man i n bac kCRAWL up t he t ai l gat e bac k i n t o t he S. U. V.Deadpool PUSHES i n t he Cadi l l ac ' s CI GARETTE L I GHTER.Bac k t o t he DRI VER. Deadpool now BASHES hi s f ac e i n t o t heSUNROOF . THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.We' r e now ABOVE t he Es c al ade, s eei ng t he guy ' s expr es s i ont ake on a r i di c ul o us s i l l y - put t y - es que gr i mac e of pai n ever yt i me i t ' s MUSHED i n t o t he gl a s s .The man i n bac k s c r ambl e s over t he bac k s eat s .The CI GARETTE L I GHTER POPS OUT.Deadpool MASHES t he BRAKE PEDAL . The man i n bac k LAUNCHESf or war d and SMACKS t he DASHBOARD.Deadpool STABS t he now ORANGE- HOT l i ght er i nt o t he man' sc heek , BURNI NG t he COI L PATTERN i nt o hi s s k i n.The man SCREAMS. Deadpool STUFFS t he l i ght er I NTO t he man' smout h and CLAMPS hi s hand over i t .The man HOLLERS i n muf f l ed agony.Deadpool l ook s F ORWARD.A MOTORCYCLE has pul l ed AHEAD of t he ESCALADE and now s i t s ,STOPPED, i n t he S. U. V. ' s pat h.The hel met ed RI DER OPENS F I RE wi t h a SUB- MACHI NE GUN.Oeadpool has one hand gr as ped on t he bac k of t he dr i ver ' snec k , s t i l l mas hi ng hi s f ac e i n t o t he s unr oof , and t he OTHERhand s t i l l c l amped over t he s econd man' s mout h.He pl ant s bot h FEET on t he STEERI NG WHEEL and ' dr i v es , 's pi nni ng t he wheel t o avoi d t he MOTORCYCLE, s endi ng t heS U V. i nt o


11/113

10 a SPI N and a ROLL . The Es cal a de goes ENDO,SOMERSAULTI NG W LDLY t hr ough t he ai r .Suddenl y , t he ACTI ON BEGI NS TO SLOWThe mot or c yc l e RI DER t r i es t o bai l out . NO LUCK. Thet umbl i ng Es c al ade PLOWS RI GHT I NTO hi m AND hi s bi ke.Par t s s c at t er of f t he mot or cyc l e , i nc l udi ng i t s CHAI N.The RI DER cont i nues t o SQUEEZE of f ROUNDS as he goes FL YI NG.I ns i de t he Es c al ade, Deadpool goes SP I N- CYCLE.The DRI VER' s f ac e smas hes THROUGH t he gl as s of t he s unr oof .BL OOD s pat t er s .The ot her man SPI TS OUT t he gl owi ng CI GARETTE L I GHTER.The guy whos e ank l e i s s t i l l t angl ed i n t he s eat - bel t F LAI LSt hr ough t he ai r l i k e a r ag- dol l , ARAB t i ed t o MOBY DI CK.The ac t i on CONTI NUES t o SLOW unt i l i t FREEZES i n t hePRECI SE SPOT THE MOVI E BEGAN.

~~The c amer a s woops i n t o Deadpool ' s f ac e, ups i d e down.HE TURNS HI S HEAD TO CAMERA FOR THE F I RST TI ME, BREAKI NG THEFOURTH WALL , THE ONLY THI NG I N THE SCENE THAT' S MOVI NG:

DEADPOOLs hi t . Di d I l eave t he s t ove on?And we t hen RAMP bac k UP t o FUL L SPEED. The S. U. V.CARTWHEEL S.The guy' s ank l e f i na l l y unt angl e s f r om t he s eat - bel t , s endi nghi m FLYI NG ac r os s t he medi an i n t o t he W NDSHI ELD of a SEMIc om ng t he ot her way.SPLAT. He FL I ES OUT OF FRAME.The RI DER' s NECK i s SL I CED by t he f l y i ng CHAI N of hi s ownMOTORCYCLE.The DRI VER i s hal f - way out t he SUNROOF when t he S. U. V. r ol l sr i ght OVER hi mThe man who at e t he CI GARETTE L I GHTER get s a PAVEMENT FACI AL .The S. U. V. f i nal l y r ol l s t o a hal t , ON I TS SI DE, PASSENGERW NDOWS UP .

~~


12/113

11.

The r es t of t he CONVOY - THREE MORE MOTORCYCLES, THREE MOREESCALADES - ar e f o r ced t o a HALT BEHI ND t he wr ec kage.A BUNCH of MEN PI L E OUT, eac h one dr awi ng a DI F FERENT BEASTLYKI ND OF GUN and POI NTI NG i t STRAI GHT at t he di s abl ed S. U. V.The l a s t noi s e i s made by one f i nal di s l o dged HUBCAP, whi c hr a t t l es in l i t t l e c i r c l es unt i l i t l i es FLAT on t he f r eeway.TWO SI L ENT BEATS.Then we hear t he s of t , EL ECTRI C BUZZ of t he Es c al a de' s m ddl epas s enger wi ndow ROL LI NG DOWN.Up pops t he HEAD of DEADPOOL , l i ke t he GOPHER i n C ad dy sh ac k.He r i s es out of t he wi ndow unt i l he' s v i s i b l e f r om CHEST UP.The t hugs a l l STARE.

DEADPOOL( t o t he t hugs )You' r e pr obabl y wonder i ng. Why t her ed s ui t ? I t ' s s o i f you s hoot me,you c an' t s ee me bl e ed.( poi nt s t o t hug)Thi s guy has t he i dea. He wor e t hebr o wn pant s .As Deadpool s ays t hi s , he pul l s out t hos e TWO MASSI VE . 50 CALPI STOL S AI MI NG t hem at t wo t hugs at r i ght angl es

DEADPOOL( t o c amer a )Al l t oget her now and OPENI NG F I RE.

DEADPOOL( not s ay i ng t hi s f or s how,r eal l y t r y i ng t o keepcount )Ei ght e en !A SHELL - CASI NG i s EJ ECTED f r om t he f i r s t pi s t ol . We ent erEXTREME SLOW MOTI ON and SWOOP I N on t he s hel l as i t TUMBLESt hr ough t he ai r

r eveal i ng t he number ' 00018' ETCHED i n a s em - c i r c l e oni t s but t end.Deadpool F I RES t he s ec ond pi s t ol . We move i n s t ant l y t o t hes ec ond s hel l : ' 0 0017'


13/113

12.DEADPOOLSe ve nt e en

FULL SPEED. The f i r s t TWO THUGS EACH get a MOUTHFUL ofBULLET.DEADPOOLSi xt een

ANOTHER SHOT. A THUG t akes one i n t he HEART.CHAOS br eaks l oos e as t he t hugs OPEN F I RE MERCI L ESSLY on t hedi s abl ed S. U. V.Deadpool L EAPS UP and OUT of t he wi ndow, r i s i n g ABOVE t hei nc om ng s hot s , t hen LANDI NG SAFELY BEHI ND t he Es cal ade.The mot or cyc l i s t s HAUL ASS ar ound hi m t r y i ng t o get a bet t ers h o t .Deadpool r uns r i ght FOR one MOTORCYCLE, dodgi ng bul l et s , t henF I RI NG.

DEADPOOLF i f t een The bul l e t s t r i k es t he BI KE i n r i ght handl ebar , c aus i ng t heRI DER t o l os e c ont r ol and FLY r i g ht TOWARD Deadpool .Deadpool DUCKS and f i r es a s hot STRAI GHT UP, POI NT- BLANK i nt ot he r i der ' s FACE as he f l i es over . ' 00014'

DEADPOOLF our t een 1Thr ee THUGS f i r e a VOLLEY of bul l e t s .The MOTORCYCLE i s s t i l l SOARI NG t owar d DEADPOOL , who GRABS i ti n m d - ai r and REDI RECTS i t t o DEFLECT t he i ncom ng s l ugs .Deadpool SPI NS and F I RES at ANOTHER MOTORCYCLE bear i ng downon hi m

DEADPOOLThi r t een t wel ve Bul l et t hi r t een hi t s t he GAS TANK of t he mot or cyc l e , SPI L L I NGi t s c ont ent s .Bul l et t wel v e hi t s t he PUDDLE of GAS, k i c k i ng of f a SPARK t hat I GNI TES i t i n a t r ai l bac k t o t he bi ke, c aus i ng i t( and t he RI DER) t o EXPLODE.


14/113

13.

Deadpool hear s a noi s e and TURNS t o SPY t he t hi r d RI DER BEARI NG DOWN ON HI M.r a i s es BOTH pi s t o l s . DeadpoolThi s RI DER ANTI CI PATES t he bul l et s and LEANS away f r om eachs l ug. F i r s t l ef t , t hen r i ght , t hen l ef t .THREE WASTED SHOTS:

DEADPOOLEl even. Shi t ! Ten. Fuck ! Ni ne.Shi t - f uc k!The mot or c yc l e WHI ZZES PAST s af e l y , f i r i ng bul l et s , FORCI NGDEADPOOL t o di ve UNDER an S. U. V.He pops up on t he ot her s i de, r i ght BEHI ND a t hug who' sl o ok i ng i n t he ot her di r ec t i on.Deadpool SHRUGS and SHOOTS hi m i n t he BACK of t he HEAD atPOI NT BL ANK RANGE.

DEADPOOLEi ght .The s hel l t umbl es t o t he gr ound, f al l s s t i l l . ' 00008'Deadpool f l i ngs open t he door of t he Es c al ade and t akes at hor ough l o ok i n s i de. Whoever he' s s ear chi ng f or i s NOTTHERE.Then Deadpool s pi es t he REFLECTI ON of anot her THUG i n t heSI DE MI RROR.

DEADPOOLs i et e.Deadpool F I RES AT THE MI RROR.I n SLO- MO, t he bul l et STRI KES t he m r r or at an OBL I QUE ANGLEand RI COCHETS per f ec t l y I NTO t he t hug who made t her e f l ec t i on.

DEADPOOLMe qus t a s i et e.BANG- BANG- BANG- BANG- BANG. Deadpool i s near l y BROUGHT DOWN bya par t i c ul a r l y bi g t hug wi t h a par t i c ul a r l y bi g AK- 47.He di v es behi nd anot her Es c al ade, t akes a moment t o s ear cht he i n t er i or t hr ough t he wi ndows - no l uc k and t henf l i nc hes as AK- 47 bul l et s pas s THROUGH t he s k i n of t he S. U. V.ar ound hi m


15/113

14.

Oeadpool s c r ambl es AROUND t he s . u. v . and FORWARD i n a s er i esof l eaps and r ol l s , t r y i ng t o c l os e t he di s t anc e t o t hi s guyt hr ough a W THERI NG BARRAGE of f i r e.One of t he AK' s s l ugs SL I CES a s wat h out of t he mas k onOeadpool ' s head, SI NGI NG hi s hai r .

DEADPOOL.Fuc k . You.Deadpool f i nal l y s pr i ngs out i n FRONT of t he t hug. The t hugpul l s hi s t r i gger agai n, onl y t o - CL I CK - r eal i z e he' s OUTof BUL LETS.

DEADPOOLSomeone' s c ount i ng. s i x .Deadpool ' s bul l et CATCHES t he t hug i n t he t hr oat , dr oppi nghi m ' 00006'Oeadpool STRI DES pas t t he f al l en t hug, pawi ng at hi s s i n gedhai r - ow - and t hen out of s heer , pumped- up ANGER . t u r ns and PUMPS TWO MORE SUPERFLUOUS BULLETS i nt o hi m

DEADPOOLF i ve. Four . St upi d. Wor t h i t .The W L I EST of t he mot or cyc l e r i der s makes anot her pas s ,F I RI NG. Deadpool duc ks behi nd t he s . u . v . agai n .Twent y yar ds away, a GROUP of t hugs has CLUSTERED behi nd t hef i nal S. U. V. They ' r e KNEEL I NG t o avoi d bei ng s hot . Onepul l s out a HAND- GRENADE, RAI SES HI S ARM, and THROWS.Deadpool s ees t he gr enade MI D- ARC and F I RES. ' 00003'

DEADPOOLThr ee.The bul l et i s s o pr ec i s el y ai med, i t SPL I TS t he GRENADE,DETONATI NG i t j u s t SHY of wher e Deadpool i s s t andi ng. Thef r a gment s TEAR i nt o t he Es c al ade.Deadpool l o oks ac r os s t o t he f ar Es c al a de. Thr ough t hewi ndows , he s ees anot her kneel i ng t hug RAI SE hi s ARM t ot hr ow, GRENADE c l ut c hed i n hi s F I ST.

DEADPOOL( c huc k l es )Number t wo Deadpool F I RES, SHOOTI NG t he GRENADE as i t s t i l l s i t s i n t het hug' s F I ST.


16/113

15.

BOOM! The whol e CLUSTER of THUGS goes f l y i ng.Deadpool emer ges f r om behi nd t he S. U. V. , f eel i ng v i c t or i o us .He appr oaches t he f i nal S. U. V. and t hr ows open t he door s t os ear c h, expec t i ng t o f i nd hi s t ar get at l as t .But STI L L NO LUCK.Even wor se, CL I CK- CLACK. The di s t i n c t i v e COCKI NG ofSHOTGUNS.Deadpool t ur ns ar ound t o f ace a c hi l l i ng s i ght : THREE f i nalTHUGS, s t andi ng i n t he m ddl e of t he f r eeway, l i n ed upper pendi c ul ar t o hi m SHOULDER- TO- SHOULDER, each ai m ng amas s i v e BENEL L I COMBAT SHOTGUN.Deadpool r a i s es a P I STOL . We ZOOM I N al l t he way t hr ough t heCHAMBER t o s py t he l a s t BUL LET, POI SED i n f r ont of t he F I RI NGP I N:' 00001'Deadpool t hi nks , t hen LEAPS and TW STS f or war d and t o t her i ght .Al l t hr ee THUGS F I RE. SHOTGUN PEL LETS SCATTER THROUGH THEAI R, J UST MI SSI NG DEADPOOL WHO LANDS s o t hat al l t hr ee men, once per pendi c ul a r , ar enow par al l el t o hi m i n A SI NG! J E- F I LE L I NE.

DEADPOOLOne.BOOM! We' r e wi t h t he F I NAL BUL LET as i t HURTLES f r om t he gunand pas s es THROUGH t he f i r s t man' s head t hen t he SECOND man' s head and SMACKS t he t hi r d man i n t he f o r ehead.Thi s t hi r d man, t he BI GGEST THUG YET, HI T S t he DECK.Deadpool put s hi s mout h t o hi s pi s t ol bar r el , I NHALES and t hen EXHALES smoke t hr ough t he por es of hi s mas k .

DEADPOOLI ' m t ouchi ng mys el f t oni ght .But t hen, as i f by magi c , t he t hug STI RS and STANDS UP.


17/113

16.r The SLUG has LODGED par t way i n hi s FOREHEAD, havi ng l os t j us tenough moment um t hat i t di dn' t make i t al l t he way t hr ough.The t hug s neer s , pl uc ks out t he s l ug, wi pes away s ome bl o od,and r ol l s up hi s SLEEVES.

DEADPOOLReal l y? Rol l i ng up t he s l eeves ?Deadpool r eac hes behi nd hi s back , and we hear t he WONDERFULLYTHRI L I NG SOUND of STEEL BLADES bei ng DRAWN.For t he f i r s t t i me, out come Deadpool ' s TRADEMARK KATANAS The t hug' s eyes wi den as SWOOSH t he bl ades s wi ng t hr ough t he ai r and SKEWER hi munder t wo di f f e r ent r i bs and out t he BACK.

DEADPOOL (V.O.)I know what you're thinking As t hey do, t he ac t i on SLOWS, onc e agai n , t o a FREEZE.Deadpool i s i n m d- s l i c e, mus c l e s bul g i n g.

DEADPOOL (V.O.)I'll bet he works ou t . So what ifI S I D pulling the double shift atthe ab-factory? What if I do wantmy man menu t o feature the shreddedbeef? Call it insecurity. But Ihaven't touched a carb since

I NT. FOYER - NI GHT - PASTTi t l e: 5 Year s AgoWe' r e j us t i ns i de t he f r ont door of an upper - m ddl e c l as sSUBURBAN HOME.GAVI N MERCHANT, a s l eaz y l at e- t hi r t i e s DOUCHE, i s i n MI D-ARGUMENT wi t h an ear l y- t went i es , pi mpl y - f aced PI ZZA DEL I VERYGUY, whos e namet ag r eads : J EREMY

MERCHANTW l l i t hel p i f I s l ow down? Idi dn' t . Or der . The pi z z a.


18/113

17 .J EREMYThi s 7348 Red Ledge Dr i v e?( of f nod)And you' r e Mr . Mer c hant ?MERCHANTThe Mr . Mer chant who di dn' t .Or der . The f uc k i ng. Pi z z a.J EREMYThen who pl a ced t he cal l ?

1 . di d. WADE ( O. S. )The VOI CE comes f r om over Mer chant ' s s houl der . WADE W LSON( t he f ut ur e DEADPOOL ) , a hands ome MAN, boy i s h f o r l at et went i es , s t eps f or war d f r om t he l i v i ng r oom.Mer c hant STARES, i nc r edul ous .

WADEPi neappl e and ol i ve?J e r emy NODS .

MERCHANTWho t he f uc k ar e you? ! And whatar e you doi ng i n my hous e? !W t hout even bot her i ng t o t ur n t owar d Mer chant , Wade PULLSOUT A . 50 CAL I BER DESERT EAGLE PI STOL and nonchal ant l y AI MSi t at hi m.Mer chant and J e r emy bot h go pal e.

WADE( t o J er emy)Bur nt c r us t ?J EREMYGod I hope not .( opens t he box, wi nces )Wor ds cannot expr es s -WADERel ax, t hat ' s how I or der ed i t !Once you go bl ac k . You never goback . ( t akes pi z z a, hands overVi s a )Put i t on my car d - hi s c ar d.


19/113

18.r MERCHANT( s t ammer i ng)Thi s i s about t he poker game,r i ght ? I t o l d Eddi e L i s t en,t ake what ever you want !

J EREMY( t o Wade)Uh. Sir? Bef o r e you do anyt hi ngt o hi m Coul d I wr i t e mys el f a bi gt i p?WADE( al r eady munc hi ng)J er emy, i s i t ?J EREMYYeah.WADEWade W l s on.( qui c k f i s t bump)J er emy, t hat ' s a no go on t he t i p.' Caus e I ' m not her e f or hi m( L EVELS PI STOL AT J EREMY)I ' m her e f or you.

J er emy' s eyes wi den.WADEYou by c hance r emember Meghan

Or l ovs ky? Get t i ng t hat r i ght ?Or l Qvs ky? Or l os kvy? Fuc k ,what ever , do you?J e r emy manages a t i m d l i t t l e NOD.

WADEGood. ' Caus e s he r emember s you.Wade SMACKS t he PI STOL i nt o J er emy' s EAR, BLASTI NG hi m of fhi s f eet .Then STOMPS J er emy' s ADAM' S APPLE wi t h hi s boot .

MERCHANT( s ot t o voce)Boy di d I dodge a bul l e t .WADE( t o Mer c hant )Not out of t he woods yet . You' r er oc k i n ' a l o t t a Ed Har dy gear .


20/113

19.

Wade HURLS J er emy, FOREHEAD f i r s t , i nt o t he WAL L .J e r emy moans and c r awl s ar ound, bl eedi ng ont o t he f l oor .Wade nudges t he pi z z a box away wi t h hi s f oot .

MERCHANTWhat exac t l y he do t o her ?Wade WHI SPERS i nt o Mer chant ' s ear . Mer chant wi nces .

WADEAnd you' r e not gonna do i t agai n ,ar e you, J er ? ! At l eas t not Wade pi c ks up a chai r and BELTS J e r emy i n t he TEETH.

WADEwi t h t e et h !I NT. L I VI NG ROOM - NI GHT - PASTWADE and MERCHANT s i t on Mer chant ' s c ouch, f eet up on acof f ee t abl e . Wade is wear i ng Mer c hant ' s Ed Har dy FLAMI NGTI GER t r uc ker c ap.They f i n i s h t he pi z z a, wat chi ng t he NBA on TNT.

WADEI r eal l y appr ec i a t e t hi s , Mr .Mer chant . Fuc ker s at Comcas t c utof f my c abl e .

I NT. / EXT. SI STER MARGARET' S - NI GHT - PASTWe' r e on t he wr ong s i de of t he pr over bi a l TRACKS, wher e agr i my SI GN on a gr i m er br i c k bui l d i ng r eads :' SI STER MARGARET' S SCHOOL FOR WAYWARD GI RL S. 'I n s i de, WADE c l a i ms a BAR STOOL and waves over t he j o i n t ' sOWNER, ' P ATCH. ' Thi nk Tom c r ui s e i n ' Coc kt ai l . ' Then t hi nkt he oppos i t e. Pat chi e s t bear d ever . Thus t he ni c kname.Wade s l aps a YEL LOW CARD on t he bar . The c ar d f eat ur es anembedded SI M and t he l ogo of a CYPRESS TREE. SCRAWLEDunder neat h t he t r ee i s t he name ' GARRETT, J EREMY. '

PATCH( h u r t )You pr om s ed me s ome ' z a.


21/113

20 .r WADESor r y , Pat ch. I boxed i t up f orMs . Or l vos ky . Or l ovos ky? Fuck!

Pat ch goes t o t he r egi s t er . Sc ans t he car d. Peel s of f s i xONE HUNDRED DOLLAR BI L L S. Lays t hem out l i ke a bank t el l er .PATCHSo, Wade, what ' l l i t be?WADEI ' d l ove a bl ow j ob.PATCHWe got t hat in common.WADEThe dr i nk , knuck l e nut . Kahl ua,Bai l ey ' s , whi p c r eam?( s l i des back a hundr ed)And s end i t over t o F l ex.

Pat ch f o l l ows Wade' s gaz e down t o: FLEX, a BAD- ASS in as nakes k i n j a c ket , a c r owd gat her ed r ound hi m m d- s t or y. Het oo i s hol di ng a YEL LOW CARD wi t h SI M and CYPRESS TREE.FLEXSo I got my Gl oc k in hi s mout h, andhe' s l i ke ( mout h f u l l ) ' I t hought you guys had a code. 'And I was l i ke, ' Y eah, no women.And I was al mos t f ool ed by yourt i t s . But t he mous t ache? ! ' Boom.

The c r owd CRACKS UP. Back t o Wade and Pat ch, who' s put t i ngt he f i n i s hi ng t ouc hes on t he dr i nk .WADE( t o Pat c h)Oh. And t el l hi m i t ' s f r om Boot he.

Pat ch f ol l ows Wade' s gaz e t o t he OTHER s i de of t he bar , wher eBOOTHE s i t s . L eat her y. Cowboy hat . Boot he' s got s ome guy' sf i nger s s pl a yed out on t he bar , j abbi ng A KNI F E POI NT bet weent hem as f as t as he can.PATCHRem nd me what good c omes of t hi s ?WADEEver s ee Gal l agher t ake a mal l et t oa mel on?


22/113

21.

Pat ch al l ows hi ms el f a t i ny c ons pi r a t or i a l SMI L E.SMASH CUT TO:

WADE, i n medi um s hot , gi ggl i ng at t he bar TV, wat chi ngGALLAGHER get t i ng hi s ' SLEDGE- O- MATI C' on, as SMACK! BAM!A huge F I GHT goes on - OUT OF FOCUS - behi nd hi mWade f i nal l y t ur ns ar ound t o wat ch. FLEX f i ni s hes of fBoot he t hen pour s t he BLOW J OB on t op of hi mA YOUNG MAN hur r i es over and l e ans over Boot he. WEASEL .Ear l y 20' s . Shor t . Geeky . Gl a s s es . SHADI ER t han a REDWOODFOREST.Weas el s l aps Boot he' s c heek l i ght l y , put s a m r r or t o hi smout h , t hen s t ands .

WEASELs t i l l k i c k i n g.The pl a c e ' o ooooohs . ' Near m s s .Weas el bel l i es up next t o Wade wi t h a sm l e.

WEASELSi x t o one s ays you got Boot he i nt he dead pool .ABOVE Wade and Weas el , BEHI ND t he bar , i s an ENORMOUSCHALKBOARD: ' Si s t er Mar gar et ' s DEAD POOL . ' Bel ow, a l ongL I ST of NAMES. DOLLAR AMOUNTS t o t he r i ght of t he names .Mor e NAMES t o t he r i ght of t he dol l ar s .

WADE( s hak es head)Nah. I t ook Amy W nehous e.SMASH CUT TO:

EXT. AL LEY - LONDON - NI GHT - PASTA l aughi ng A M Y W NEHOUSE PLUMMETS f r o m a PUB DOOR i n LONDON,CL UTCHI NG A BOTTL E OF ABSI NTHE.

AMYWooo oooooo !She TRI PS on t he c ur b. SOMERSAULTS i nt o t he GUTTER.

SMASH CUT BACKTO:


23/113

22.I NT. SI STER MARGARET' S - NI GHT - PAST

WADECr az y bi t c h has t he s hel f l i f e of aSuz y Q.WEASELI s t i l l l i k e my chanc es .

Wade l ooks up at t he boar d. Ri ght af t er ' WADE. ' Who' schos en ' W NEHOUSE. ' I s ' WEASEL . ' Who' s chos en ' WADE. 'WADEWeas el , you' r e t he wor l d ' s wor s tf r i e nd. Bet t i ng I ' m gonna di e?Tel l you what , MF . I ' m l i vi ng t o ahundr ed- and- t wo. L i ke t hos e ol dQuaker women on t he Today Show.Dr i nks on me, s ol d i e r s of f or t une!MERCENARI ESHoohah!WADE( t o Weas el )Got s i x hundy bur ni ng a hol e .VANESSA ( O. S. )Whoa, whoa .

A HAND cur l s ar ound t he s i d e of Weas el ' s f ac e, FORCI NG hi maway f r om t he bar . The hand i s . . at t ached t o a gi r l .eyes . Mi d 20' s . Tank . VANESSA. Br unet t e.Ri pped j eans . Si l ver - bl ue

VANESSASur e you wanna s hoot your whol ewad?Wade l o oks Vanes s a up and down. Then hol d s up hi s PI NKI E .

WADETi ght .Vanes s a r ai s es her own pi nk i e . Shakes l i ke a pi nk i e s wear .

VANESSAVanessa.WADEI ' m gonna go out on a l i mb her e.You, uh, f uc k peopl e f or money?


24/113

23.

VANESSAYeah. I do.WADEWhat , t hen? Rough chi l dhood?VANESSARougher t han you.( o f f Wade' s s kept i c i s m)Dad l e f t bef or e I was bor n.WADE( b e a t )Dad l ef t bef or e Iwas c onc ei ved.VANESSAEver had a c i gar et t e put out onyour s k i n?WADE( s uddenl y s er i ous )S o r r y .VANESSAThanks.WADENo, I meant , s or r y . Di dn' t knowt her e was any ot her pl a ce t o putout a c i gar et t e.VANESSAI was mol es t ed.WADEMe t oo. Ol der br ot her .VANESSABr ot her s . They t ook t ur ns .WADEI wat ched my own bi r t hday par t yf r om t he keyhol e of a l o c kedc l o s et , whi c h was al s o my -VANESSABedr oom? Lucky. I s l ept i n adi s hwas her box.WADESo you had a di s hwas her ! I di dn' tknow s l eep. I t was pr et t y muc h 24-7 of bal l gags , br owni e m x , andf unhous e m r r o r s .


25/113

24.

VANESSAWho woul d do s uch a t hi ng?WADEHopef ul l y you. L at er t oni ght .( b e a t )Oh, and my Unc l e Kev i n.

SMASH CUT TO:THE SOUNDS OF TI RELESS, ATHLETI C SEX.EXT. / I NT. ' NO TEL L MOTEL ' - NI GHT - PASTA NEON SI GN f l i c ker s out s i de t he ' NO TEL L MOTEL . 'I n s i de, WADE and VANESSA go at i t l i ke RABBI T S.

VANESSAWhat was t hi s c al l ed agai n?WADE' Gr as s St a i ns on t he Leder hos en. 'Next we' l l t r y ' The Angr y Pi r at e. '' The Ar abi an Goggl es . ' Maybe even' The Tobey Magui r e . 'VANESSAHow l ong c an you go on l i k e t hi s ? !WADE( s h r u g s )Al l year ? !

We begi n t he s i ng- s ong mel o dy of t he Aus t r al i an k i d bandphenom THE W GGLES' ' ROCKI NG ON THE SEA. ' And DI SSOL VE I NTO:

A MONTAGE of i mages : SEX ar ound t he CALENDAR bet ween WADEand VANESSA, i dent i f i ed by s t er eot ypi c al c os t umes andacc out r ement s f r om each hol i day and di f f er ent WEATHER OUTSI DE t he W NDOWThe pai r has EASTER SEX ( eas t er eggs , bunny ear s ) .FOURTH OF J ULy SEX ( r ed, whi t e , and bl u e bunt i ng, s par kl e r s ) .HAL LOWEEN SEX ( j ac k- o- l ant er n s) .THANKSGI VI NG SEX ( t ur key l egs , pi l gr i m hat s ) .


26/113

25.

And af t er ever y vi gnet t e, a s hot of WADE dr oppi ng THREEHUNDRED MORE DOLLARS on t he No Tel l Mot e l dr es s er .At l as t , t he W ggl es f ade out . And t he l as t v i gnet t e i n t hemont age t ur ns i nt o an ac t ual SCENE:I NT. NO TEL L MOTEL - NI GHT - PASTA CHRI STMAS WREATH hangs on t he mot e l wal l .WADE wal k s out of t he bat hr oom and s t r i kes a pos e, HANDS onHI PS. He' s wear i ng a HORRI FYI NGLY AWFUL CHRI STMAS SWEATER.And NO PANTS.Vanes s a i s s i t t i ng agai ns t t he bed' s HEADBOARD, SHEET pul l edover her , up t o her c hi n.She qui c k l y l ower s t he s heet . Reveal i ng an APPALL I NGCHRI STMAS SWEATER of her own.

WADEI f your l e f t l e g i s Thanks gi v i ng,and your r i ght l e g i s Chr i s t mas ,c an I v i s i t you bet ween t heho l i day s ?VANESSAY' k now, r ed' s your c ol o r . Br i ngsout t he bl o ods hot i n your eyes .WADEAs much as I ' m l ook i ng f or war d t ot acky Chr i s t mas s weat er s ex

Wade r eac hes behi nd. Pul l s out a smal l ENGAGEMENT- RI NG- L l KEBOX.VANESSAYou' r e not wear i ng pant s . Wher eexac t l y wer e you hi di ng t hat ?WADEMer r y Chr i s t mas .

Wade hands her t he box and s t ands t her e wi t h t he l ook of ' Open i t . Open i t ! ' Vanes s a OPENS t he box. I ns i de: THREEMORE CRI SP BENJ AMI NS.Vanes s a sm l es .

VANESSAAnd now my gi f t t o you.


27/113

26 .She wai t s a beat , t hen hands Wade a hundr ed dol l ar bi l l bac k .

VANESSAHol i day c l e ar ance s al e . One t hi r do f f .Vanes s a i s about t o l et t hat be t he end of i t . But

VANESSAWai t . Sor r y . Ther e' s mor e.( a beat )I l o ve you, Wade W l s on.Wade s t ar es . Swal l ows . When he f i nds hi s wor ds , t hey c omeout al mos t TI MI D:

WADEThought you char ged ext r a f or t hat .VANESSAUs ed t o. At my ol d j ob.

Wade' s eyebr ows r ai s e. He poi nt s bet ween hi ms el f and Vanes s aand back , as i f t o s ay, ' You and me? Exc l us i ve? 'She NODS.Wade BEAMS. For j u s t one moment , hi s l i f e i s ac t ual l yPERFECT.

DEADPOOL (V.O.)H e r e ' s t h e t h i n g . L i f e i s a ne n d l e s s s e r i e s o f t r a i n - w r e c k s w i t ho n l y b r i e f , c o m m e r c i a l - l i k e b r e a k so f h a p p i n e s s . T h i s h a d b e e n t h eu l t i m a t e c o m m e r c i a l b r e a k . W h i c hm e a n t i t w a s t i m e t o r et ur n

Wade TOSSES ASI DE hi s hundr ed dol l ar bi l l , TAKES A CONF I DENTSTEP TOWARD THE BED DEADPOOL (V. 0.) to o u r r e g u l a r l y s c h e d u l e dp r o g r a m

AND PASSES OUT ON HI S FEET FACE- PLANTI NG ONTO THE MOTEL FLOOR.

FADE OUT AND UPON:


28/113

27.

I NT. ONCOLOGY WARD - DAY - PASTWADE i s s i t t i ng i n a doc t or ' s of f i ce, VANESSA by hi s s i de,oppos i t e a s ol emn ONCOL OGI ST.Ever y i mage t aken i n by t he camer a s ugges t s BAD NEWS:A COMPLEX l ook i ng MRI I MAGE of t he CI RCULATORY SYSTEM on aBACKL I T VI EW NG TABL E.SWEAT STAI NS under Wade' s ar ms .Vanes sa GRI PPI NG Wade' s hand.Wor st of al l : t he LOOK on t he DOCTOR' S FACE.

DOCTORPeopl e r eac t t o news of t er m nalc anc er di f f er ent l y .DEADPOOL (V.O.)Believe it or not, this is only the9th shittiest thing that's everhappened t o me.

WADE TURNS AND ADDRESSES CAMERA:WADESt i ck ar ound. Number 6 i s com ngr i ght up.DOCTOR ( O. S. )Mr . W l s on. Mr . W l s on!

Wade SNAPS OUT OF I T , t ur ni ng bac k t o t he doc t or .DOCTORI want you t o t ake your t i me t opr oc es s t hi s . I t ' s i mpor t ant nott o do anyt hi ng r as h

SMASH CUT TO:

EXT. FREEWAY OVERPASS - DAY - PRESENTWe' r e bac k i n t he PRESENT. The camer a des cends on t hef r e eway over p as s ver y RASHLY s t r ewn wi t h des t r o yed mot o r c yc l es andS. U. V. ' s . DEADPOOL i s s t i l l FROZEN wher e we l a s t l e f t hi m . s t abbi ng hi s TWO KATANAS t hr ough t he hear t of t he f i nalTHUG.


29/113

28 .DEADPOOL (V.O.)Now. If I were a two-hundred-fiftypound rancid sack of asshole with apenchant for ruining lives. Wherewould I hide?

Deadpool t ur ns hi s head ever - so- s l i ght l y W THI N t he f r oz ens c ene. We f ol l ow hi s gaz e t o t he f ar s houl der of t he f r eeway, wher e t he f i nalHELMETED MOTORCYCLE ESCORT, t he W LY ONE who neat l y dodgedDeadpool ' s bul l e t s , i s FROZEN i n MI D- WHEEL I E as he begi ns t oSPEED away.

DEADPOOLBi ngo .The s c ene i ns t ant l y RAMPS UP TO REGULAR SPEED.The MOTORCYCLE f i ni s hes i t s wheel i e, LANDS, and s c r eams AWAYi n a c l o ud of BLUE SMOKE not f or war d on t he f r eeway, but BACKWARD, i nt o t r af f i c ,J AMMED BUMPER- t o - BUMPER as f a r as t he eye c an s ee.Deadpool abandons hi s KATANAS and SPRI NTS over t o one of t hef al l en mot or cyc l e s - t he one i n t he bes t s hape.He j umps on boar d and STARTS t he bi ke.

DEADPOOLMaxi mum ef f or t .

Deadpool TW STS t he THROTTLE, POPPI NG a WHEEL I E of hi s OWNand CHASI NG AFTER t he mys t er y RI DER.The bat t l e has caus ed var i ous FENDER- BENDERS and MASS PANI Con t he f r eeway. Peopl e ar e back i ng t hei r vehi c l es up, t r y i ngt o pul l U- t ur ns , et c. , or abandoni ng t hei r c ar s al t oget her .The MYSTERY RI DER WEAVES t hr ough t h i s mes s at BREAKNECKSPEED.DEADPOOL i s har d on hi s t ai l , al s o WEAVI NG W LDLY. He pul l sal ongs i de, and t he bi kes begi n t o GLANCE OFF one anot her .The mys t e r y r i der HURTLES t owar d a SEDAN' s BUMPER.At t he l as t s ec ond, he L I FTS hi s f r ont wheel and dr i ves upOVER t he HOOD, W NDSHI ELD, and ROOF . He LAUNCHES HI MSELF andhi s BI KE OVER t he RAI L I NG of t he f r eeway and OFF t he SI DE .. PLUMMETI NG DOWN t o a c ur v i ng el evat ed FREEWAY pas s i ngunder neat h at anot her angl e.


30/113

29.

DEADPOOL does t he s ame, l aunchi ng of f a PRI US and PLUNGI NG down ont o t he SAME f r eeway BELOWDeadpoo1 and hi s t ar get ar e i mmedi at e l y BUFFETED by onc om ngvehi c l es FLYI NG at t hem at t r emendous s peed.

DEADPOOLThi s i s f uc ked. up.The r i der ' s bi k e l a unches of f anot her VEHI CL E and LEAPS overa r ai l i ng agai n down t o t he NEXT f r eeway , wher e t r af f i c SAI L S by i n anent i r el y DI FFERENT di r ec t i on. Deadpoo1 CHASES.The mot or cyc l es WAI L as t hey CASCADE down f r om ONE FREEWAY t ot he NEXT l i ke CHROME WATERFALLS Agai n , Deadpoo1 f i nds hi ms el f br eat hi ng down t he neck of t hemys t er y r i der . He PUL LS ALONGSI DE.The t wo TRADE W CKED BLOWS, pr eoc c upi ed wi t h each ot her ,f ai l i ng t o s pot a W DE- LOAD HOUSE- ON- THE- BACK- OF - A- TRUCK HURTL I NG TOWARDt hemW t h nowher e t o t ur n, t hey LEAP of f t hei r bi kes , whi c hCARTWHEEL UP and SMASH t hr ough t he t r uc k ' s wi nds hi e l d,pi nni ng t he DRI VER agai n s t hi s s eat .The t wo adver s ar i es SMASH t hr ough a W NDOW of t he HOUSE and LAND i n a L I VI NG ROOM f u l l of c hees y FURNI TURE.They s t and on uncer t ai n l egs , l ook ar ound.

DEADPOOLI l i ke what t hey di d wi t h t hepl a c e.Boom! Deadpoo1 TACKLES t he mys t er y r i der . As t he TRUCKSWERVES down t he f r eeway , t he pai r get s FLUNG ar ound t hehous e, t umbl i ng i nt o di f f er ent ROOMS.The swer vi ng of t he t r uc k does n' t af f ec t t he BRUTAL I TY oft hi s f i ght . Ther e i s s ome SERI OUS, BONE- J ARRI NG, BLOOD-L ETTI NG VI OLENCE as Deadpoo1 and t he mys t er y r i der s pi 11 i nt o a quai nt KI TCHENETTE, f i ght i ng among hangi ngPOTS and PANS. Deadpoo1 smas hes t he r i der ' s head t hr ough t hegl as s wi ndow of a RONCO SHOWTl ME OVEN. ~


31/113

30.

DEADPOOL' Set i t and f or get i t . 'They t umbl e t hr ough a DI NI NG SET and BRAI N t hems el ves on aGAUDY CHANDELI ER.They s oar i n t o a bat hr oom CRUNCHI NG i n t o a TOI L ET andMEDI CI NE CABI NET. Pi l l bot t l e s GO FLYI NG. DEADPOOL ' S headl ands next t o a s pi l l ed bot t l e of PAI NKI L LERS. He not i cesand POPS a COUPLE.They hur t l e i nt o a chi l d' s bedr oom and wr es t l e among STUFFEDANI MAL S and CHI L DREN' S BEDDI NG.

DEADPOOLIhad Gar gamel s heet s !

At l a s t , t he t r uc k CRASHES i nt o t he edge of t he f r eeway andt he HOUSE RI PS of f i t s MOORI NGS and TUMBLES OVER THE SI DE.Deadpool ' s ent i r e wor l d goes SPI NNI NG.The hous e SMASHES ont o t he next FREEWAY DOWN, and Deadpooland t he RI DER ar e THROWN CLEAR, out a wi ndow and ont oCONCRETE.The r i d er SHAKES OFF STARS and RUNS r i ght i nt o onc om ngt r a f f i c .Deadpool CHASES hi mCar s SPI N and CRASH. PEOPLE bai l out .The r i der dr aws t wo PI STOLS, but Deadpool ANKLE- TACKLES hi mThe PI STOLS go FLYI NG.Deadpool and t he r i der each s coop up a pi s t ol .The RI DER opens a car door , gr abs a L I TTLE BOY, and hol ds hi spi s t ol t o t he boy ' s head.DEADPOOL REACT S by openi ng ANOTHER car door , gr abbi ng a L I TTLE GI RL , andhol d i ng HI S pi s t ol t o HER head.

DEADPOOL( l ooks down, t o gi r l : )Sweet k i c ks ! Heel ys ?At l a s t , t he r i der DI TCHES t he l i t t l e boy , Deadpool DI TCHESt he l i t t l e gi r l , who SL I DES bac k away on her HEELYS,t e r r i f i ed.


32/113

31.

The t wo ai m t he PI STOLS at ONE ANOTHER. St ar e each ot herdown, f i nger s on t r i gger s .But t he r i der does n' t not i c e a SEMI - TRUCK bear i ng down on hi mf r o m behi nd.

DEADPOOLThi s r em nds me of my Peepaw. Heus ed t o l ove i ce c r eam But hi sdoc t or s woul dn' t l e t hi m eat i t .So whenever anyone had a c one, he' ddi s t r ac t t hem and t ake a l i c k .Y ' know, poi nt over t hei r s houl derand s ay s omet hi ng l i ke ( paus es t o t i me i t r i ght )' L ook out behi nd you! 'ON CUE, t he r i der get s BRAI NED i n t he HELMET f r om BEHI ND byt he SI DE- VI EW MI RROR of t he SEMI .Deadpool wi nc es .Deadpool DRAGS t he r i der t o t he s i de of t he f r eeway and PROPShi m up agai n s t t he r ai l i n g.The r i der COMES TO. Deadpool l o oms over hi m

DEADPOOLAl ways wer e a bi t of a f eeb,F r a nc i s .( of f r i der ' s r eac t i o n)Bel l s ? No? How ' bout now?Deadpool s l owl y peel s OFF hi s mas k , f r om t he t i p of hi s chi nt o t he t op of hi s head, r eveal i ng THE FACE OF THE FORMER WADE W LSON. HE' S NO LONGER AHANDSOME YOUNG MAN.HI S SKI N BEARS LARGE, UNNATURAL SCARS.The c amer a PUSHES i n.

FRANCI S ( O. S. )Wade W l s on! Wel l , hel l o,gor geous .DEADPOOLI know, l i ke I got bi t by ar adi o ac t i v e Shar - Pei . But whos ef aul t i s t hat ?( gr abs a f i s t f ul ofF r anc i s ' s l apel )( MORE)


33/113

32.

I ' ve beenF r a nni e .t o get up

DEADPOOL ( CONT ' D)wai t i ng f or t hi s day,L i ke a t weenage boy wai t shi s f i r s t l ady pi pes .F r anc i s ac t ual l y LAUGHS.

DEADPOOLWhat ' s s o f unny?FRANCI S( f r o m under neat h hel met )Not hi ng. I t ' s j us t t hi s r em ndsme of your Peepaw.

Deadpool s uddenl y not i c es an enor mous SHADOW pas s i ng overhi ms el f and F r anc i s f r om BEHI ND. He bl i nks .DEADPOOL

J es us H. Chr i s t i n l ow- r i s e j eans .Deadpool SPI NS j us t i n t i me t o s ee a MASSI VE CHROME HAND gr abhi m by t he s c r uf f of t he nec k and YANK hi m BACKWARD.Deadpool WHI PS t hr ough t he ai r wi t h s heer , v i o l ent FORCE.The ac t i on FREEZES AGAI N wi t h hi m head- over - heel s

DEADPOOL (V.O.)What'd I tell ya? Number 6! i n MI D- AI R.

MATCH CUT TO:I NT. APARTMENT - DAY - PAST. a CLOSE- UP of a Deadpool ACTI ON F I GURE f r om ' Wol ver i neOr i gi ns . ' Mout h s ewn s hut . Bl ades i mpl ant ed i n t o t hewr i s t s . I n t he exac t s ame POSE we j us t s aw t he r ealDeadpool .

WADE ( 0 . S. )A l i t t l e pi ece of me cur l ed up anddi e d t he day t hi s came out .We PULL OUT t o r eveal t hat Wade i s r ef er r i ng NOT t o t heac t i on f i gur e, but t o WHAMl ' S ' Mus i c F r om t he Edge of Heaven'LP, whi c h he i s now hol d i ng.He t os s es t he LP i nt o a near - f ul l TRASH CAN, r i ght on TOP oft he Oeadpool ac t i on f i gur e.


34/113

-punozsdl ~s sl ~+u~n+ sl uad~ +no~+ ~l ~ D aOl u ~ +aam ~ounm~on~~ DUl aq do+s 0+ : U~ d~ pu~ +~~+dod ~ ~+ ~a~ l al o~~AmDUl u~omA~aAa dn ua~o~aA, I +nq , al ~~ow~+ M sA~psan~, l l e +aD 0+ a+eHaCNM

+no~+ ~aAl l u~o nOA SDul ~+a~+ l l V ul ~~qpue ' a+e+so~d ' SDunl l ~aAl l AmulA1UO a~e s~omn+a~~ +~Dl ~a~, noxaCNMlaAl + sod

DUl A~+S +no~ A~S oop a~+P, +~~MVSS: ! OOi At S~noAue~+dn pa~on~a~omAl l el ol ~~o s, a~ l AW l~ Dl a a~~( xea~s, essa~A ~~o)t Ul ~I ' ONamM

l a+se+peq ~noA pal l l ~~aoue~VSS: ! OOi Al su~am

sl ~+ l l e +~~~~apl AU~ aAe~noxgmM

auol e +~al +saq s, +~~~ ~uea ul o~ s~a+ad a++apeu~aa sl ~++OD I ua~~ s~~ I a~a~~~aqmama~I( S~OOl ) ~+eapse~DUl ~ds ~ +daoxa Dul u~al 0DUl ~ds e a~ l S, +IgmM ~gddgda~ agHSn~~ao Sg~~~Vd sa~o~~ s~ao~~MONS S~gd nHZ nHZ Saan~I aNOI ~~V : aDeq~~Da~+o+ul ma~+DUl sso+ ' suol ssassodA1Pl ~0~sl ~~Dno~~+s+~ s aH saAl a~ssl ~~~o ueal 0 gOVMNax~I ~s- ~a~NV~ e sa~o+e~Al ~aqmos VSSaNVA

ul + pauo~d Al l ~+O+Aal aDPl ~ +ul oduOl +emel oxa~ a~++sol rme~Mmnql e a~+ se~+~~~gmM.


35/113

34 .VANESSAOne out t a t hr ee ai n ' t bad.WADEI ' d s ay i t . Then I ' d f or get i t ,al l bef or e t hat f i r s t pop t ar t wasdown. ' Ti l j us t t he ot her day , Ir eal i z ed One: t her e' d be nomor e Pop Tar t s . Two: Shi tpr obabl y gave me cancer . AndThr ee :VANESSA( nods , k nowi ng)You' d have t o s ay goodbye t o t hegi r l - wi t hout - t he- peni s .WADEYou' r e not wat chi ng me di e . You' l lt hank me l a t er . When t he me your emember i s me me.VANESSAF i ne. But i f by s ome m r ac l e youmake i t t hr ough t hi s WADEI ' l l boom- box ' Car e l es s Whi s per 'under your wi ndow. Ri dgel ey ' st i ght as a pus s y on t hat one.

Vanes s a hol ds our her pi nk i e . Deal ? Wade ' s hakes ' i t wi t hher own. L i ke t he day t hey f i r s t met .VANESSATher e i s s omeone I want you t o meetbef or e I go.

Wade r ai s es an eyebr ow. Vanes s a pr ac t i c al l y J UMPS hi m.F l i p s OFF t he L I GHT wi t h her f oot .BLACK.

WADE ( O. S. )Bi g f an of your wor k , Mr . Magui r e .FADE UP ON:

EXT. I NDI AN SLUM - DAY - PASTWADE, di s hevel ed, uns haven, s i t s out s i de a t i ny Ps eudo- P r ani c' Heal i ng Cent er ' i n BANGALORE, I NDI A.


36/113

35.

Readi ng Mi t c h Al bor n' s ' TUESDAYS W TH MORRI E. ' I n HI NDI :' Mangal avar a Mor r i e Ke Sat ha. 'A SHADY- L OOKI NG MAN pokes hi s head out , t hen mot i ons Wade i n.I NT. ' HEAL I NG CENTER' - DAY - PASTWADE s ubm t s t o hor r i f y i ng i ndi gni t i es i n s i d e, wher e a ONE-EYED OLD MAN s t r i ngs a SNAKE up by i t s nec k , t hen SL I CES OPENi t s BELLY f r om mout h t o t ai l .The BLOOD and RUNOFF gus hes down i nt o Wade' s WAI TI NG MOUTH.WADE GAGS and RETCHES.EXT. CHI NESE FARM - NI GHT - PASTWADE cont i nues wi t h hi s f ut i l e ques t , now on a f ar m out s i deSHAOSHAN, CHI NA. ' Zhouer Xi angyue Mor r i e ' peeks out of hi sbackpack .Wade' s heal t h has c l e ar l y DECL I NED. He i s kneel i ng, bentover a SMALL F I RE. An ol d PEASANT WOMAN t os s es VARI OUSexot i c WEEDS/ HERBS/ STALKS/ L EAVES ont o t he f i r e , one- by- one.Wade I NHAL ES t he SMOKE.He COUGHS VI OL ENTL Y, EYES WATERI NG, SUF FERI NG I NTENSEL Y.

DOCTOR ( O. S. )( s i ng- s o ng)Pr ox i mo! Next 1I NT. GUADALAJ ARAN WAI TI NG ROOM - DAY - PASTWADE i s now even mor e DESPERATE. Among t he MOST DESPERATE.He s i t s i n a pat het i c muz ak - f i l l e d WAI T I NG ROOM i nGUADALAJ ARA, MEXI CO. Readi ng ' MARTES CON MI VI EJ O PROFESORDE MORRI E. ' Wear i ng a SOMBRERO.Wade t ur ns t o t he s weet ELDERLY COUPLE s i t t i n g next t o hi mekes out a sm l e .

WADE( pul l s out Spani s h- Engl i s hel ec t r o ni c t r a ns l at o r )De donde er es ?ELDERLY WOMANBoc a Rat on.


37/113

36.

r WADEAh. The f anc y par t of Mexi c o.( b e a t )Cancer ?ELDERL Y MANSt age 4.WADEToughes t par t of t he Tour deFr ance. Ver y hi l l y .DOCTOR ( O. S. )( s i ng- s ong)P r ox i mo 1 Next !

A MOTHER and her s t oi c young SON s i gn i n wi t h t heRECEPTI ONI ST. The boy has l o s t al l hi s HAI R.RECEPTI ONI STNo cheques de vi a j e r o. No pes os .Cas h. Amer i c ano. I n advance.

She hands t he haunt ed boy a c ar dboar d BOX f i l l e d wi t hCHUPACHUPS ( l o l l i p ops ) . The boy t akes one. Then r eaches f ora SECOND.NURSE ( O. S. )Uno chupachup, por f a vor !

A NURSE has wal k ed i n t o t he wai t i ng r oom j us t l ong enough t oc has t i s e t he boy bef or e c hec k i ng a CHART.NURSESenor Abe Sol omon?

ABE and hi s W FE get up. The nur s e mot i ons f or Mr s . Sol omont o s t ay i n t he wai t i ng r oomABE( t o Wade)Good l uck t o you, young man.

wade, f or one t i me and one t i me onl y , i s genui nel y SI NCERE:WADEGood l u ck t o you.

Abe gi ves hi s wi f e a k i s s , l ov i ngl y r ubs her cheek . Andf o l l ows t he nur s e.


38/113

37 .I NT. OPERATI NG ROOM - DAY - PASTABE l i e s on a ver y UNSANI TARY oper at i ng t abl e . Hi s s hi r t i sof f . A MAN wi t h a poc k - mar ked f ac e s t ands over hi m i n awhi t e l ab c oat wi t h bl ue- s t i t c hed cur s i v e wr i t i ng: ' Dr .Del gado. '' Doc t or ' Del gado pokes and pr ods wi t h hi s f i nger s , as i fAbe' s m d- s ec t i o n i s yel l ow Pl ay- Doh.

DOCTORBuenos di as , Senor Abe. Voy al l e gar dent r o de t u c uer po.ABEI ' m s or r y . No habl o es panol , doc .

The doc t or s naps on r ubber gl oves . Cover s Abe' s eyes wi t hone hand. Then s ur r ept i t i o us l y r eac hes down i n t o a BUCKET ofCHI CKEN I NNARDS hi dden at hi s f eet .The doc t or ' s hand pl unges ' i ns i d e' Abe' s c hes t . BLOODs pat t er s t he l i nol eum f l oor s .

DOCTORDe que s e cur e!The doc t or hol ds SMELL I NG SALTS under Abe' s nos e. AbeSPRI NGS UP t o t he s i ght of t he doc t or ' s gl oved hand CLUTCHI NGa huge, bl oody ' TUMOR. '

DOCTORSenor Abe, you ar e c ur ed.( t o s s es t umor and gl ove)Pr ox i mo! Next !A daz ed Abe s huf f l e s out , r epl a c ed s hor t l y by WADE. Dr . Del gado al mos t FL I NCHES at t he s i ght of t hi sdec i dedl y danger ous - l ook i ng man. The NURSE hands over achar t , and t he doc t or r egai ns hi s c ompos ur e and SMI L E.

DOCTORSenor W l s on!The nur se exi t s . Wade eyes t he doc t or . Eyes t he s i t uat i ons l owl y . Then CLOSES t he door behi nd hi ms el f .I NT. WAI T I NG ROOM - DAY - PASTThe MUZAC s t i l l pl ays . The l i t t l e BOY f eeds t he r emai nder ofhi s CHUPACHUP t o a CAT l u r ki ng under hi s c hai r .


39/113

38.r Then:

WADE ( O. S. )( s i ng- s o ng)Pr oxi mo 1 Next 1The NURSE r eappear s and l eads t he MOTHER and her BOY down t hehal l t o t he oper at i ng r oom.She OPENS t he door and i mmedi a t el y l e t s out a CRY, s t abbi ngout her ar m t o pr event t he mot her and boy f r om s eei ng t hat DOCTOR DELGADO i s l y i ng s hi r t l e s s on t he oper at i ng t abl e:WADE has one hand f i r m y CLAMPED over t he doc t or ' s mout h and t he ot her BURI ED pas t t he wr i s t in t he doc t o r ' s CHEST.Wade i s s uc k i ng on TWO Ki wi St r awber r y Chupachups .Wade pul l s out hi s hand, in whi c h he hol d s t he doc t or ' s STI L L -BEATI NG HEART. Wade' s eyes ar e L I T UP wi t h menace.

WADEAl l bet t er .( s hows her hi s l ol l i pops )Cool i f I t ook dos Chupachups ?DI SSOL VE TO:

EXT. VANESSA' S APARTMENT - DAY - PASTWADE, a s hel l of hi s f or mer s el f , wat ches an obl i v i o us ,l ones ome VANESSA t hr ough t he wi ndow of her f i r s t - f l oorapar t ment .At l as t , he s heepi s hl y dr ags hi ms el f t o t he f r ont door . Hes quar es hi s s houl der s , t r yi ng t o mus t er hi s c our age:

WADEMaxi mum ef f or t .But t r y as he m ght , he c an' t make hi ms el f knoc k . He t ur nsheel . And SL I NKS AWAY.I NT. SI S TER MARGARET' S - NI GHT - PASTJ us t anot her ni ght at SI STER MARGARET' S WAYWARD SCHOOL FORGI RLS. A CROWD cheer s as FLEX and BOOTHE ARM- WRESTLE overt wo L I T BLOW- TORCHES.


40/113

39.

WADE i s t oo exhaus t ed even t o not i c e. He' s bel l i ed up t o t hebar , r es i gned t o hi s f at e. PATCH l eans i n:PATCHSomeone needs a bl ow j ob. And as hower . Though c our t es y c al l s f ort he l at t er f i r s t .WADEThr ee s hot s of Pat r on Si l v er . Anda cur e t o t er m nal cancer . Tel l yawhat , Pat ch. Make i t t he whol ebot t l e. Put i t on Weas el ' s t ab.WEASEL( al r e ady appr o ac hi ng)Di c kbag s ays what ?WADEYou' r e about t o be ( t ur ns , c hec ks deadpoolboar d)t went y - e i ght - hundr ed dol l ar sr i c her .WEASEL( ex ci t ed)Shut . Up! Woohoo! That ' s awe-( goes t o hi gh f i v e,r e al i z es )

- f ul . You' r e t hat s i c k?Wade swi gs f r om t he bot t l e.

WADEAnd t o t hi nk Amy W nehous e bec omesa f r ee agent .SMASH CUT TO:

EXT. LONDON - NI GHT - PASTAMY W NE HOUSE i s pi ggyback i ng s ome DUDE i n a f edor a out s i de aLondon RAVE. She dr unkenl y knoc ks hi s f edor a over hi s eyes ,c aus i ng hi m t o TRI P . The t wo FACE- PLANT.

SMASH CUT BACKTO:


41/113

40.

I NT. SI STER MARGARET' S - NI GHT - PASTout of nowher e, a Cr i s pi n- Gl over - l i ke RECRUI TER appear s att he bar on t he ot her s i de of WEASEL .

RECRUI TER( t o Weas el )Can you pl eas e excus e us ?WEASELWho t he f uc k ar e you?

The r ec r ui t er hands Weas el a F I FTY DOLLAR BI L L .WEASELPl eas ur e t o meet you, Pr es i dentGr ant .

The r ec r ui t er s i t s next t o Wade.RECRUI TERWade W l s on?

Wade up- and- downs hi m He' s wear i ng ALL BLACK.WADEYou f or get your s i c k l e ?RECRUI TERMy empl oyer of f e r s you hi s deepes ts ympat hi e s f or your i l l n es s . We' v ekept t abs on you, Mr . W l son. Ourr ec or ds s how you' r e a f i ght er . Andnot j us t on behal f of Unc l e Sami mpr es s i v e as your s er vi c e was . Doyou want t o di e her e wi t hout awhi mper ?

Wade s t a r e s .RECRUI TEROr do you want t o be a s uper - her o?

EXT. FREEWAY OVERPASS - DAY - PRESENTWe r ej oi n DEADPOOL i n t he PRESENT, FROZEN i n m d- t umbl e ont he f r eeway, a bi g, CHROME FI ST YANKI NG hi m away f r om FRANCI Sby t he SCRUFF of t he nec k .

DEADPOOL (V.O.)Let's pro-con this super-herothing. Always been kind of a listguy


42/113

41.

We r amp up t o REGULAR SPEED. Deadpool i s TOSSEDuncer emoni ous l y t hr ough t he ai r ont o c onc r et e.DEADPOOL (V.O.)Su pe r- he ro es p ul l down a ton ofass: Defini t e pro. Local dry-cleaning discounts. Lucrativemovie career. Pro. Pro.

s t andi ng over hi m i s a TOWERI NG SI L HOUETTE t hat bot h BLOTSOUT t he s un and REFLECTS i t bl i ndi ngl y .DEADPOOL (V.0.)On t he con side: Super-heroes?Fucking teacher's pets.

The camer a r i s es f r om f oot t o f or ehead COLOSSUSCor ne o n, man, I c an hear you

of t he X- Men' s COLOSSUS. A GOOD- NATURED GI ANT wi t h CHROMEMETAL FOR SKI N. BI G AS A BARN. OTHER- WORLDLY STRONG.Al s o, Rus s i a n. No s ens e of humor what soever . CHI N J UTTI NG.F I STS ON HI PS. The pi c t ur e of s queaky- c l ean EARNESTNESS.

DEADPOOLCo l o s s u s !Deadpoo l .qui et l y . COLOSSUSI need you t o c or ne

A beat . ' Qui et l y . 's t r eam of L AUGHTER. Deadpool c an' t s uppr es s a t i ny nas alDEADPOOLI ' l l bet t he hal l s of your hi ghs c hool wer e ver y wel l moni t or ed.COLOSSUSI ' l l us e f or c e i f nec es s ar y .DEADPOOLYou br own- nos i ng beef - wi t . Youbi g, c hr ome cock - bobber ! You' r er eal l y gonna f uc k t hi s up f or me? !( r e: F r anc i s )You know I don' t go at s omeone t hi shar d unl e s s t hey' v e got i t c or ni ng!Bes i d es , no one' s get t i n g hur t !


43/113

42 .On cue, BEHI ND Deadpool , a CRASHED CAR t hat ' s TEETERI NG ont he next - hi gher f r eeway FAL LS DOWN t o t hi s f r eeway - BOOM!F r om i n s i d e t he car , t he DRI VER MOANS, i n PAI N.Deadpool s l owl y t ur ns ar ound t o LOOK, t hen t ur ns bac k .

DEADPOOLYou' ve hear d t he whol e make- a n-omel et t e, br eak- s ome- eggs bi t ?FRANCI SThat was my l i ne!COLOSSUSWade, you s howed gr eat pot ent i a l .DEADPOOLYeah, I r ead my r epor t c ar ds .COLOSSUSwi t h qual i t i e s l i k e your s, youc oul d have j o i ned us . Been a s uper -he ro .DEADPOOLTel l ya what . The day I dec i de t obec ome a c r i me- f i ght i ng s hi t -s wi z z l er who r ooms wi t h 44 o t herl i t t l e whi ner s at t he Never l andmans i o n of s ome c r eepy ol d bal dHeavens - Gat e- I ook i ng mot her -f uc ker on t hat day I ' l l s endyour s hi ny , happy as s a f r i endr eques t . ' T i l t hen, I ' m gonna dowhat I c ame her e t o. Ei t her t hator s l ap t he bi t ch out t a you.( o f f Col os s us ' s f r own)That c ount as qui et l y ?COLOSSUSI l i ke you, Wade, you' r e f unny. Imean, ot her peopl e I adm r e t hi nkyou' r e f unny , s o even t hough Idon' t get you, I t r us t t hei ropi ni on. The poi nt i s , t hi s i sgoi ng t o hur t me mor e t han i t hur t syou.DEADPOOLNo f uc k i ng s hi t , Char l ene, I ' mapound your as s .( r ai s es f i s t s )Put ' em up, pus s - i n- boot s .( ~ORE)


44/113

43.DEADPOOL ( CONT ' D)F r anc i s , I hope you' r e wat c hi ng.F r anc i s ?

But FRANCI S has t aken t he oppor t uni t y and SCRAMMED.Deadpool t ur ns bac k t o Col o s s us wi t h a LOOK t hat c oul d KI L L :

DEADPOOLThat does i t .DEADPOOL BUM- RUSHES Col os sus and POUNDS hi m ac r os s t he f acewi t h a br ut al f i s t CLANG i ns t ant l y BREAKI NG hi s own WRI ST.

DEADPOOLOoooo- r l ando J ones .Deadpool f i r es an UPPERCUT wi t h hi s OTHER F I ST BANG BREAKI NG t hat wr i s t , t oo.

DEADPOOLGah.Deadpool backs of f Col o s s us and hol ds up t wo l i t t l e l i mpwr i s t s l i ke an ef f em nat e boxer .

DEADPOOLI pr om s e. Thi s get s wor s e f oryou.Col os s us SI GHS. Deadpool CI RCLES hi m

DEADPOOL( r e: us el e s s wr i s t s )Al l t he di nos aur s f ear ed t he T- Rex.Deadpool abandons t he us e of hi s ar ms and t hr ows a ROUNDHOUSEKI CK at Col os s us . He CRACK BREAKS HI S OWN ANKLE. I t ' s s uddenl y BENT at an ent i r e l yI NAPPROPRI ATE ANGLE .Deadpool GRI MACES as he t r i e s t o BEND hi s ank l e bac k t os t r a i ght wi t h t wo al r eady damaged hands .

DEADPOOLYou' r e on my l a s t ner ve.The ank l e t ur ns i n a FULL CI RCLE. CRAAACK. Now i t ' s headedi n a DI FFERENT di r ec t i on j us t as WRONG.So he s t ar t s t o HOP.


45/113

44.DEADPOOLI ' d do ' J us t a f l es h wound! ' f r omHoly Grail, but I c an' t be t hatguy.COLOSSUSYou have t he r i ght t o r emai ns i l ent . And I r eal l y wi sh youwoul d.DEADPOOLNeve r - !

BOOM! The wor d i s n' t even out of Deadpool ' s mout h whenc ol os s us HI TS hi m wi t h a RI GHT HOOK s o HARD, s o DEVASTATI NG,t hat Deadpool ' s c hi n l eads hi s body i n a TW ST as bl i ndi ng asa t wi r l i ng f i gur e s kat er .Deadpool ' s VERTEBRAE CRACK l i ke St y r o f o am bubbl es f r om nec kt o c oc c yx .He bi t es as phal t , daz ed.Col os s us PI CKS HI M UP l i k e a bag of f l our and HEAVES hi m i nt oone of t he wr ec ked TRUCKS, FACE- F I RST. SMASH!Deadpool WRI THES on t he gr ound l i k e an ear t hwor m wi t h a hookt hr ough i t . Col os s us gr abs Deadpool by t he BUSTED ANKLE wi t hbot h hands , SPI NS i n CI RCLES l i ke he' s per f or m ng a HAMMERTHROWand WHI PS hi m i nt o a BUS. CRUNCH!Deadpool now l i es MOTI ONLESS, SPREAD- EAGLED on t he c onc r e t e .Col o s s us wal k s over and pul l s out a MODI F I ED SET OFHANDCUFFS. He s l a ps ONE CUFF on hi s own wr i s t and t heOTHER on Deadpool ' s .Then Col os s us r ai s es hi s ar m and CARRI ES Deadpool by t hec u f f s .Deadpool dangl es i n m d- ai r by t he wr i s t . He r eal i z es what ' shappened: DEADPOOLDead or al i v e. You' r e c om ng wi t h

me.

COLOSSUSYou' l l r ec over , Wade. You al waysdo.


46/113

45 .DEADPOOL( l ooks ar ound)Not on your wat ch

Deadpool SUDDENLY execut e s an AMAZI NG maneuver , qui c k l yKI CKI NG OFF Col o s s us ' s t or so wi t h hi s one good f oot andSW NGI NG i n a c i r cl e unt i l he HANGS over t he EDGE of t heF REEWAY RAI L I NG.Ther e i s s t i l l one mor e f r eeway BELOW t hi s one, s ome f or t yf eet down.Bef o r e Col os s us can r eac t , Deadpool WHI P S OUT a KNI F E AND STARTS CUTTI NG OFF HI S OWN ARM ABOVE THE CUFF ON HI SWRI ST.

COLOSSUS( d r y - he av es )Oh, man! Why!Deadpool keeps CUTTI NG. I t ' s mor e di f f i c ul t , GRI SL Y wor kt han he f i r s t r eal i z ed, but by t he t i me Col os s us r eaches wi t hhi s ot her f i st t o s t op hi mhe c ut s THROUGH l eav i ng Col os s us c uf f e d t o a SEVERED hand and wr i s t .THE NOW ONE- HANDED DEADPOOL F AL L S BACKWARD OF F THE F REEWAY t owar d t he f r eeway BELOW wher e a FLAT- BED TRUCK s peeds byat EI GHTY MI LES AN HOUR.He LANDS r i ght i n t he BED of t he t r uc k . On t he SMACK, we

SMASH CUT TO:I NT. WORKSHOP - NI GHT - PASTThe PAST AGAI N. A s i c k l y WADE, c over ed onl y by a FL I MSYHOSPI TAL GOWN, i s SHOVED BACKWARD ont o a STRETCHER andWHEELED t h r ough an ol d HOSPI TAL WARD.The ' Wor ks hop, ' as Wade' s new home i s af f ec t i o nat el y c al l ed,has been conver t ed f r om t hi s ol d war d i n t o a wor ki ngLABORATORY.WADE i s bei n g wheel ed t hr ough a vas t r oom cont ai ni n g t wo r owsof t al l i n di v i dual ' t ent s , ' eac h c ont ai n i ng an exper i ment alSUBJ ECT.


47/113

46.

A FELLOW PATI ENT, a pat het i c , t er r i f i ed l i t t l e man namedWORM, i s wheel ed pas t Wade, r es t r a i ned on anot her STRETCHER.Wor m br i e f l y l o c ks eyes wi t h Wade, but qui c k l y moves on by.The t ent s ar e i l l um nat ed by BL I NDI NG over head l i ght s . Andf i l l ed wi t h GRUESOMELY I NTI MI DATI NG MEDI CAL EQUI PMENT.Wade i s wheel ed i nt o t he par t i c ul ar t ent t hat i s hi s newhome.The THREE F I GURES who wer e pus hi ng Wade now DUMP hi m f r om t hes t r et cher ont o a CHROME OPERATI NG TABLE. They LOOM over hi mr oughl y STRAPPI NG hi m down.

WADEMy f i r s t r eques t ? A war mer t abl e .( s hi ver s )And war mer hands , f e l l as .Wade DOUBLE- TAKES at t he s i ght of t he t wo f o r ear ms / handsc l amped t o hi s l e f t wr i s t . They ' r e not f l es h- and- bl ood, butROBOTI C APPENDAGES, at t ac hed above t he el bow t o GARRI SONKANE, a s adi s t i c mal e or der l y .Kane al s o has r obot i c pr os t het i c l egs and a bi oni c EYE.

WADELos e your s ens e- o f - humor wi t h al lt he ot her par t s ?For c i ng Wade' s r i ght ar m down i s SLUGGO, a s uper humanl y s i z edand mus cl ed GOON, r unni ng 6' 9" , 400 pounds eas y.

WADEAnd you' r e t he br ai ns ?A THI RD or der l y has been over seei ng t he ot her t wo, a wi r yl i t t l e anger - management c andi dat e named WYRE.Ther e' s an UNL I T MATCHSTI CK pr ot r udi ng f r om Wyr e' s t eet h atal l t i mes . I t ' s hi s i dea of a TOOTHPI CK, and he oc c as i onal l yr epl a c es i t f r om a MATCH- BOX he keeps i n hi s s hi r t poc ket .

WADE( r e: mat ch)Choad s ubs t i t ut e ?Wyr e THROTTLES Wade ar ound t he Adam s appl e.

WYREShut t he f uc k YQ.Wyr e magi cal l y s pool s I NORGANI C THREAD f r om t he TI PS of hi sF I NGERS, t yi n g Wade' s NECK t i ght t o t he t abl e .


48/113

47.

WADEF i ne. But you' l l t el l me when I ' ma s uper - her o ?AJ AX ( O. S . )Sur e we wi l l , Wade.

The ot her t hr ee men RECEDE f r om t he t ent , r epl a c ed by AJ AX,t he f ace of t he Wor ks hop, a hi ghl y uns et t l i n g man - whi p-smar t , t i ght l y c oi l ed, wi t h c ool , dead bl ue eyes .WADECan I expec t t ur ndown s er vi - ?

BOOM! Aj a x v i ol e nt l y GAGS Wade wi t h a l e ngt h of SURGI CALTUBI NG, t yi ng i t s o t i ght l y under t he t abl e t hat Wade' s headi s per f ec t l y I MMOBI L I ZED.AJ AXYou' r e a t al k er .

Wade' s eyes ar e s uddenl y wi de. WTF?AJ AXWade, my name i s Aj a x . I managet he Wor ks hop. Thi s s peec h us ed t obe f ul l of euphem s ms l i k e ' You mayf eel s ome di s c omf or t , ' and ' Thi sm ght hur t a l i t t l e. ' But I ' vegr own bl unt .

Aj ax SHARPENS a s c al pel .AJ AXThe Wor ks hop i s a pr i vat ei n s t i t u t i o n t as ked wi t h t ur ni n gr ec l amat i on pr oj ec t s l i ke your s el fi nt o men of ext r aor di nar yabi l i t i es . I f you t hi nk cancerc ur es pai n l es s l y , you' r e wr ong. I fyou t hi nk s uper - human power s ar eacqui r ed pai nl es s l y , wr ong.

Aj ax t ouches Wade' s s k i n wi t h t he end of t he s c al pel ,pr es s i ng her e and t her e j us t SHY of har d enough t o dr awb l o od .AJ AXYou' ve hear d t he whol e make- an-omel et t e, br eak - s ome- eggs bi t ? I ' mabout t o hur t you, Wade. The k i ndof hur t I c an' t des c r i be and youc an' t pr epar e f or . You' r e gonnaf eel i t your c el l s . I n your hear t .( MORE)


49/113

48.r AJ AX ( CONT' D)I t ' s c r uel s t uf f . I t i s . Andt her e' s no way out f or you. Nos ec r et you can t el l me t o s t op. Nos of t s pot i n my hear t t o appeal t o.The f ac t s ar e. You' r e gonna l i e

t her e. And I ' m gonna t or t ur e yous t upi d.Aj a x s t ar t s t o TURN AWAY, but s t ops .

AJAXOne mor e t hi ng. What ' s t he ad?' I ' m not j us t t he pr es i dent . I ' m ac l i ent ? ' I once l ay wher e you lie.The Wor k s hop us ed a m c r os c opi ct or ch t o c aut er i z e ever y ner veend i ng in my body. I magi ne whatt hat was l i ke. But t hanks t o t hepr oc edur e, I no l o nger f eel pai n .Shi t ( t oot hy sm l e) I no l onger f eel anyt hi ng.

Wade r eac t s by SAYI NG s omet hi ng - made compl et e l y GARBLED andUNI NTEL L I GI BLE by t he s ur gi c al t ubi ng in hi s mout h.Aj a x s t ar es . Wade REPEATS i t .Aj a x s uddenl y us es t he s c al p el t o SL I CE t he s ur gi c al t Ubi ng.I t SNAPS t o ei t her s i d e, FREEI NG Wade t o TALK.

WADEGot s omet hi ng i n your t eet h.Aj ax sm l es W THOUT openi ng hi s mout h t hi s t i me. Then wal k sout of t he t ent .Out s i de t he t ent , Aj ax hes i t at es , t hen can' t hel p but c hec khi s t eet h i n t he r ef l ec t i on of a c hr ome t r ay .

WADE ( O. S. )Made you l ook ! Hey, i s Aj ax yourr eal name? ' Caus e i t s oundss us pi c i o us l y made up. What ' s i tr eal l y ? St eve? Mar k? Todd?Ky l e ?

Aj a x f i nds hi ms el f s t ar i ng at KANE, SLUGGO, and WYRE i n t hel ar ger war d. Wyr e chews hi s MATCH wi t h i nt er es t .WADE ( O. S. )Lar r y? El l i o t ?


50/113

49.

Aj ax al mos t t ur ns ar ound, r i s i ng t o Wade' s bai t , t hen t hi nksbet t er of i t .AJ AX( t o Wyr e )Pul l down hi s m r r or s .

We t ake WADE' S POI NT- OF - VI EW as KANE, SLUGGO, and WYRE r e-ent er f r ame above hi m. hol d i n g out r ageous l y c r eepy medi c al t oo l s . One l o okss us pi c i ous l y l i ke a CI RCULAR- BLADED DEL I MEAT SL I CER.

WADEI ' l l t ake t he pas t r am onpumper n i cke l .Wyr e t ur ns ON t he s l i c er , whi c h makes t hat f am l i ar WHI NE.

WADE( a l a t he Ver i z on ads )Am I a s uper - her o now?The s l i c er l ower s t owar d camer a, Wade SCREAMS, and webegi n I NT. WORKSHOP - NI GHT/ DAY - MONTAGE - PASTa MONTAGE of Wade' s t r eat ment s i n t he wor ks hop s et t o t he s ent i ment al not es of J OHN DENVER' si ns pi r at i onal c l as s i c , ' I WANT TO L I VE. ' Ver s es l i k e t hi s

JOHN DENVERHave you gazed out on the ocean?Seen the breaching of a whale?Have you watched the dolphinsfrolic in the foam? j u xt apos ed wi t h HARROW NG VI GNETTES of KANE, SLUGGO, WYRE,and AJ AX exper i ment i ng on WADE t o wi t hi n an i nch of hi sl i f e as he GASPS, CL AWS, SCREAMS BL OODY MURDER.Wade i s I NJ ECTED wi t h NEEDLES as l o ng as c ar ant ennae.OPENED UP by appendages of Kane' s t hat l o ok l i ke gi a ntDENTI ST' S TOOL S.DUNKED i nt o t hi c k , mol as s es - l i ke L I QUI D.WHEELED down t he war d, pas t t he t or ment ed man named WORM.


51/113

50.

r PULLED and YANKED by cont r apt i ons t hat woul d have s hamed t heSpani s h I nqui s i t i on.SAWED. COMPRESSED.SL I CED. DI CED. SLAP- CHOPPED.BL ED. SCARRED.

JOHN DENVERI want t o live, I want t o grow. Iwant t o see, I want t o know. Iwant t o share what I can give. Iwant t o be I want t o live!We al s o s ee SHORT, ULTRA- F AST MI NI - MONTAGES of s i mpl ermedi c al i mages - l i qui d pl ungi ng i n t o s yr i nges , s ur gi c a lt ubi ng t yi ng t i ght , s c al pel s s l i c i ng, needl es s ewi ng, s t apl eguns punc t ur i ng, vei n s t hr obbi n g - whi c h punc t uat e t hev i gnet t es , i mpl y i ng t he PASSAGE of TI ME.Dur i ng t he v i gnet t es , Wade keeps gamel y as k i ng hi s t or ment or st he s ame ques t i on, wi t h di s t ur bi ngl y l e s s s t r engt h and ener gyeach t i me:

r WADEAm I a s uper - her o now?( l at e r )How ' bout now?( l at e r )Am I a s uper - her o now? Now?

JOHN DENVERI want t o be I want t o live!At l as t , Wade i s l a i d bac k down on hi s c hr ome t abl e, notunl i k e when he f i r s t ar r i ved at t he wor ks hop, onl y now i nQUI ET DARKNESS, and W THOUT ANY RESI STANCE what s oever .

WADE( di s t ant , meek , i n t heda r k )Can you hear me now?To f i ni s h t he s equence, we t ake Wade' s POI NT- OF - VI EW agai n.A KI NDLY- l ook i ng DOCTOR ent er s t he r oom and gaz es down onhi mThe doc t or i s a l mos t avuncul a r , s por t i ng t hi c k gl as s es and apr ot r udi ng bel l y .He gent l y br us hes t he hai r of f Wade' s f or ehead.


52/113

51.

DOCTORYou c an r es t now. Res t .WADEThank s Doc .

Wade' s eyel i ds FLUTTER, t hen CLOSE, pl ungi ng us i nt o BLACK.I NT. WORKSHOP - NI GHT - PASTAJ AX, GARRI SON KANE, SLUGGO, and WYRE pus h WORM on as t r et cher t hr ough t he Wor ks hop, i n bet ween t he r ows of t ent s .

Ki l l me.P- pl ea se?WORMI can' t go on l i ke t hi s .AJ AXWor m I ' m t he onl y one al l owed t ogi v e up on you.

Suddenl y , a VOI CE c al l s out f r om a pas s i ng t ent :WADE ( O. S. )Fuc k hi m up, Wor m! How t ough c anhe be? Name l i ke F r anc i s .

Aj a x i s ver y s ubt l y SURPRI SED. WHAT di d Wade j us t s ay?WADE i s I NSI DE hi s t ent . St r apped t o hi s t abl e . Tal k i ngni ce and LOUD NOW

WADEThat ' s r i ght ! He got ' Aj ax ' of f adi s h- was hi ng l i qui d! L egal name' sF r anc i s . F - R- A- N- C- I - Shi t ? !Wade i s s uddenl y addr es s i ng AJ AX, who has ENTERED Wade' st ent . Aj ax ' s expr es s i on t el l s us al l we need t o know aboutt he val i d i t y of Wade' s c l ai m AJ AX and t he ' FRANCI S' f r omt he F REEWAY ar e ONE and t he SAME.wi t h as much f r eedom of mot i on as he has i n one hand, WadeWAVES a STUB of PAPER at F r anc i s .

WADEDr y- c l eani ng t ag, F r anc i s . Snaggedi t of f your l ab c oat .( b e a t )FYI . I may be abl e t o get you adi s c ount .


53/113

52.

r CLOSE- UP on t he t ag, whi ch r eads ' FREEMAN, FRANCI S. 'WADEHer e' s t he pr obl em wi t h r ound- t he-c l ock t or t ur e. You can' t r eal l y

s t ep i t up f r om t her e. I f i gur ed,why behave? What ever Fr anc i s does t o me can' t get any wor se.AJ AXI s t hat what you t hi nk?WADEYes . F r anc i s . That ' s what It hi nk .

SMASH CUT TO:I NT. WORKSHOP - NI GHT - PASTGARRI SON KANE, SLUGGO, and WYRE f i ni s h at t a chi ng mul t i pl eELECTRODES t o WADE' s head and ches t . Wade i s now STRAPPED t oa HOSPI TAL BED t hat ' s ent i r el y ENCASED i n a l ar ge CAPSULE ofPLEXI GLAS.The t op hal f of t he caps ul e i s hi nged t o one s i de, OPEN,al l owi ng t he or der l i es ac ces s t o Wade.AJ AX s uper v i s es :

AJ AXThe i dea f or t hi s r ecent l y came t ome. I don' t have a name f or i t .Var i ous W RES and TUBES r un out of t he c aps ul e connec t ed t o OXYGEN TANKS, OXYGEN DI ALS, and a MONI TORt hat t r ac ks BRAI N- WAVES and HEART- RATE.

AJ AXThe t r i c k i s t o l ower t he oxygenconcent r at i on i n Wade' s ai r t o t heexac t poi nt he f eel s l i k e he' ss uf f ocat i ng. I f hi s br ai n wavess l ow, meani ng he' s about t o pas sout , we t ur n up t he 02. I f hi shear t r at e s l ows , meani ng he' s abl et o cat ch hi s br eat h, we t ur n i tback down. And t hen we l eave hi mRi ght . Ther e.

WADEn m . What ?


54/113

WVaE~SUaAa ~O '~te~O~~ ~ qnoua ~OU s, a~aq~ SdSV~a~~~adsap awooaq sq~~a~q sl H

, t t~Oaqound, aq~~ t t~o t t , I( : aol Aapsl q sa~u I~apl ~ql ~q) t ~oqqound ~ ul p~n~( sat ~onqo)XVL' VSI Dl OSg~W~I Dl gHSl B MOTNHS pu~~~OBS s~o~ ul q~~a~q s, ap~M t t ~~At ~Ot S St~ P uaAXOaq~

SSI HUOt ~ ~~aq aM aPl sulS~aA~ ZO~a~oT o~aO~I NOWaq~uo SNO~~na s~ q pu~ ' ~H~I ~~ S~~O~ 'agSO~~ at nsd~o aq~~o ~t~q do~aq~ sUl ~S XVL' V

i Pua~aa~aq~ AO~Ug pul wul aSTa uTq~awos ~o aA, aM ~~o~ ~, uoa satoqss~o~ ~a~su~o~ aA~q P, I ~ns aToqss~u~ nOATT~o P/ I ul q~oua~, nox s~a~ooquT daap dTH SAnD~zzTd dn ul ~~as a~~qosl PaTq~~ouoqsTa nox"o~aq- ~adns~ nOA UT~~wa~, a~~uTq~ TTT~s nox l~~~d ~sapp~s aq~XVL' V

sTq~a~o~aq AZ~~O s~~ IgOVM SaaAI BSAt t ~n~o~o~~n~s

ag~NI . 3:~~gw ~I ~gH~SOadauo q~ ~ atnsd~o aq~ S~~ a~ NOSI ~~

s~~ax , ul A~qaqsTwsdaa~UoSt TM ~W~T ~O SA~a s~noqAS ~uawow~~q~uodn saAo~dWT aOl Aap sTq~ U~Wo~ UMOU~0l u~d a~aAas ~sow aq~~o ~uawow~ saonpuT ul P~~oq~a~~MXVL' V"ES


55/113

54.r But Wade gat her s hi ms el f l ong enough t o MOUTH one s i l ent wor dt o Aj ax :

WADEFr an- c i s .Wade' s r es ol v e vani s hes wi t h t he r es t of t he oxygen, unt i lhe' s mer el y mak i ng pat het i c ' O" s wi t h hi s mout h, l i k e a F I SHOUT OF WATER.

DEADPOOL(V. 0.)My fourth shittiest moment. ThePunch Bowl. And if you think I'mlosing my shit 'cause I can'tbreathe. You're only half right.Aj ax appear s t o be l ook i ng at Wade. But we RACK FOCUS t or eveal he' s l ook i ng at hi s REFLECTI ON i n t he Pl exi g l as l i d,c hec k i ng f or s t uf f bet ween hi s t eet h.

DEADPOOL(V. 0.)See, if Francis is able t o see hisr ef le ct io n

rThe c amer a SW NGS ar ound t o Wade' s POI NT- OF- VI EW of Aj axt hr ough t he gl as s and t hen RACKS FOCUS t o WADE' s REFLECTED FACE. SCARRED.RAVAGED. And per f ec t l y v i s i b l e t o hi m one f oot away.

DEADPOOL (V. 0.)You know what they say. You alwaysremember your first time

Wade t hr ows bac k hi s head i n a SI L ENT SCREAM.EXT. / I NT. HI GH- RI SE - DAY - PRESENTBack i n t he PRESENT, a beaut i f u l , gl eam ng new GLASS HI GH-RI SE dom nat es t he downt own SKYL I NE.We' r e behi nd t he MYSTERY RI DER f r om t he f r eeway chas e as heSTRI DES UP t he f r ont s t eps , mot or cyc l e HELMET under hi s ar mThe r i der ENTERS t he bui l di ng t hr ough t he mas s i ve r evol v i ngf r ont door s ont o a a STUNNI NG mul t i - l evel ATRI UM, f ul l off o unt a i ns and hangi ng s c ul pt ur es .var i ous EMPLOYEES s uddenl y s nap t o at t ent i on, noddef er ent i a l l y , and gr eet t he r i der WARMLY as he pas s es .He r i des a GLASS ELEVATOR t o t he bui l di ng' s f or t i e t h s t or yPENTHOUSE


56/113

55

and we REVERSE ANGLE t o s ee hi m emer ge f r om t he openi ngel evat o r door s .The r i der i s i ndeed AJ AX, bl ue eyes t wi nk l i ng, dar k hai rMATTED down over hi s f or ehead.He gaz es out over a pr i s t i n e pent hous e LOBBY.St r i di ng f o r war d t o meet hi m ar e WYRE, SLUGGO, and GARRI SONKANE, no l o nger wear i ng l a b coat s , dr es s ed pos i t i ve l yCORPORATE. Wyr e BEAMS.

WYREWel c ome home, Bos s - man.SMASH CUT TO:

I NT. / EXT. DEADPOOL ' S LAI R - AFTERNOON - PRESENTAnd by LAI R, we mean m d- c i t y DUPLEX.Bor der l i ne ghet t o. s em - f ur ni s hed, ' f i r s t apar t ment 'qual i t y: f ut ons and t or chi e r e l amps .St ai ned car pet , c ur r ent l y bei ng s wept by a r oam ng ROOMBA.I KEA ev er y whe r e .An ol d WOMAN - l a t e s event i es - pur pl e f l or a l dr es s wi t h l ac ef r i l l - s i t s on a r at t y c ouch, wher e t he t ypi ca l ol d womanm ght KNI T .I ns t ead, t hi s o l d woman t akes out a wi c ked- l ook i ng pai r ofBOX- CUTTERS and l ays was t e t o a BI G CARDBOARD BOX f r om t heSwedi s h f u r ni t ur e maker - t he ' UMSTADT SHELVI NG UNI T. 'Once t he box i s des t r oyed, s he l a ys out i t s c omponent s andt ool s on t he c of f ee t abl e made mor e di f f i c ul t by t he f ac t t hat s he i s c ompl e t el yBL I ND. Thi s i s Deadpool ' s r oommat e, BL I ND AL .Suddenl y , Bl i n d Al ' s KEEN EAR pi c ks up a f ai nt , t el l t a l es ound: DRI PPI NG. She coc ks her head t o L I STEN.

ANGLE ON:THE F RONT YARD.Di r t . No gr as s . ' 93 Chevy Avon up on BLOCKS. An exhaus t edDEADPOOL i s s l umped agai ns t hi s own f r ont door . Red s ui t .


57/113

56.

r No mas k . No r i ght ARM. BLOOD dripping f r om t he s t ump -pl op, pl op, pl op - ont o t he s t oop.ANGLE ON:

THE L I VI NG ROOM.Bl i nd Al s hakes her head. St ands up in comf y c r eme nur s i ngs hoes . Gr abs her r ed- t i pped CANE. And t ot t er s t owar d t hef r ont door when s he is TRI PPED by t he pas s i ng ROOMBA.

DEADPOOL ( O. S. )( f r o m outside)Let ' s get r eady t o Rooooooomba!BL I ND AL( under br e at h )As s - ha t .

Al SW NGS her cane angr i l y , agai n and agai n , trying t o hitt he r obot i c vacuum whi c h moves happi l y j u s t out of r eac h.She manages t o rise t o her knees and s t r et c h out f or t hef r ont door , when DEADPOOL SPRI NGS it open f r om outside. SL AMMI NG it into herHEAD. Bl i nd Al goes down agai n .

DEADPOOLMor ni ng, r oom e!( s n i f f s )Fuc k . Thi s pl ace r eeks l i ke ol dl ady pant s .BL I ND AL( s t i l l s upi ne)Yes . I ' m ol d. I wear pant s ui t s .DEADPOOLBut you' r e no l a dy.

SMASH CUT TO:LATER.DEADPOOL is SPLAYED OUT on a whi t e f u t on, MOANI NG, nur s i nghi s hor r i f y i ng wound.

BL I ND AL ( O. S )Ba c t i ne ?


58/113

57.

DEADPOOL( d r i ppi ng s ar c as m)Yup. Bac t i ne s houl d do i t .BL I ND AL i s bac k on t he r at t y c ouch, appl y i ng t he f i ni s hi ngt ouc hes t o t he s hel v i ng uni t .

BL I ND ALThank Chr i s t I c an' t s ee al l t hi sI k ea.Bl i nd Al t ur ns t he f i nal s c r ew. Si t s bac k , beyondunent hus i as t i c .

BL I ND ALTa. Dah.The s hel ves l ook l i k e t he Leani ng Tower of P i z a i n s hi t t ywhi t e par t i c l e boar d. Deadpool TOSSES an l KEA CATALOGUE ont op. The Ums t adt COLLAPSES.

BL I ND ALI wi s h I ' d never hear d of Cr ai g' sL i s t .DEADPOOLAnd I quot e: ' L ook i ng f orr oommat e. Bl i nd t o l i f e ' si mper f ec t i ons . Mus t be good wi t hhands . ' Or woul dya r at her Ibui l df ur ni t u r e and you pay r ent ?BL I ND ALWhy s uch a douche?DEADPOOLLet ' s r ec ap. That f uc ker whot ur ned me i n t o t hi s as s - ugl ymons t er t he one I ' ve beenwai t i n g f i v e f uc k i ng year s f or s l i pped t hr ough my ar m t oday. Ar m.

Deadpool hol ds up hi s s t ump. A l i t t l e i nf ant ARM is emer gi ngof f i t . Yes . Deadpool can GROW BACK L I MBS.DEADPOOLHe was my onl y chanc e at ever bei ngnor mal agai n . Meant i me, t he gi r l Il ove - not you - woul dn' t f uc k mewi t h your di c k . So yeah, t hi ngsar e pr et t y f uc k i ng s pec t ac ul ar .

Deadpool s t r ai ght ens a HUNDRED DOLLAR BI L L on hi s l eg wi t hone hand and hands i t t o AI .


59/113

58.r DEADPOOLDo me a f ave- y and pi c k up t hatL eks v i k dr es s er I ' ve had my eye on.

BL I ND ALCocksucke r .

Deadpool s t ands . Wal ks behi nd t he couch, and as he pas s est he bac k of Bl i nd AI ' s head FARTS.DEADPOOLDr i v e- by .BL I ND ALI ' m gonna f i nd t hi s ' Cr ai g. ' AndI ' m gonna k i l l hi m.

I NT. DEADPOOL ' S ROOM - AFTERNOON - PRESENTDeadpool us es hi s new l i t t l e ar m t o SLAM SHUT t he door t o hi sr oom. He c r as hes on hi s upper BUNK ( yes , he has I kea BUNKBEDS al mos t as poor l y c ons t r uc t ed as t hat s hel v i ng uni t )and gaz es at hi s WALL .

r St uck t o i t wi t h KNI VES ar e var i ous Men' s Heal t h and GQHEADL I NES devot ed t o beaut y . What a s c r awny t eenager wi s hi nghe wer e CHARLES ATLAS m ght have:A VI SI ON BOARD.F r ont and c ent er : HUGH J ACKMAN' s Sexi es t Man Al i ve c over .Deadpool pul l s a kni f e out of t he boar d, r et r i ev i ng an ol dPHOTOGRAPH of hi m and Vanes s a. I n happi er t i mes . Wear i ngChr i s t mas s weat er s . Pant l es s .He s t ar es at i t . The kni f e bl ade REFLECTS hi s s c ar r ed f ac e.Wade t ur ns t he kni f e s o as not t o have t o l ook at hi ms el f ,and t he bl ade REFLECTS t he BRI GHT CEI L I NG LAMP i nt o hi s eyes .Wade' s pupi l s DI L ATE, and we PUSH al l t he way I N on t hem t o BLACK.I NT. / EXT. WORKSHOP - NI GHT - PASTWade' s PUPI LS CONSTRI CT agai n, t o DOTS, and we pul l BACK t o hi s s c ar r ed f ace, c over ed i n f l op- sweat , f r oz en i n ar i c t us of t er r or . And bac k FURTHER t hr ough t he Pl e xi g l a s


60/113

'PSTl?SSSoIl? sdrT AN sr::JUl?oI~ , AoIoIOS(00011) 'IOOd~a

' ~~ WSpadd~T- pasoTo 'o~uo~~ u~ s~~aMa~ ' p~a~sul ' ~no ~~a~~~, usaop ap~M 'S~~~ 0+ uo~~o~a~u~ ~na' ~~d S~ a ua6axo aq~ ' SSl H ' u~~6~P~T aq+XOO~pu~ ~SO~Opu~ ' dn W1~ 6U~~~M qs~u~~ 'UMOp ~o~q ap~Md~~~s X~~V pu~ a.IhM

os ~u~q~~, up~axv!'V

l . aur euUI s I~~lIM( ~~a s, ap~Mo~u~ s~ads~qM)' aA~suodsa~TT~~sa.I,nOh a. I nsa~~UIo~ ' uo~~sanbauo

xv!'V

O~p. I ~M I O~ooT 0+6u~~+aUI osnOh aA~6 0+ a~~~ I ' P~Taq~ dod o~ aA~~~, UOP aM os ssaoo. I ds~q~6U~+~UI o+n~o 6U~~~OM UI , l( ap~MO~)

XV!'V' sa~~Mpu~saqn~s~q ~O snO~~~A O~ pua+~~ ' W1q pO. I dpu~ a~od ' sa. I ospaq

.IO~ ~oaqo O~ ~q6~. Ipu~ ~~al W1q u~n+ ' W1q d~. I ~sun' W1q . I aAOpuaq uaUI OM~ aq~ s~ XOOHS ~O ~V~S ~ u~ padd~. I ~SUI aasap~M' a6u~~oT~O hap~M'ha~~M ha~~MmXM

' ~o~~sqo+~ ~ uo6u~~ounUITT~~s s~ a~hM m XMpu~XV!'V a~~W1~ . I aAO6u~pu~+S

' ~ V~O ~d- S~Nn~ daap sa~~~aH ~a+~M I apunTa~6u~aq .Ia~~~ 6u~o~~. I ns~6no~~ s~ SdSV~ap~M

SSl H6u~. I a~~~6~ s, a~aq~' hTuappns ' u~~6~~SVd a~~u~ a. I , aM ' ~oa- HONnd a~~~o ' 65


61/113

60.

EXT. PARKI NG LOT - NI GHT - PASTWyr e EXI TS t he war d f or t he ni ght and wal k s ac r os s t hepar k i ng l ot . As he s t ar t s hi s c ar , he SPI TS out hi s habi t ualmat chs t i c k and r eac hes i nt o hi s s hi r t poc ket f or ANOTHER onl y t o r eal i z e he' s AL L OUT.I NT. WORKSHOP - NI GHT - PAST

DEADPOOL (V.O.)But ya did give me something t olook forward to Back inside t he Punch Bowl , Wade OPENS hi s MOUTH wi t hi nwhi c h he was HI DI NG a SI NGLE MATCHSTI CK, c l enc hed c ar ef ul l y -dr yl y - bet ween hi s t eet h.He us es hi s t ongue t o r ot at e t he RED TI P of t he mat cho ut war d t hen t ur ns hi s head t o one s i de t o

Deadpool Movie Leaked Script

Documents

Transcript of Deadpool Movie Leaked Script